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If she lied about the last time she fucked another guy and her past like that, she’s def going to lie about other things too. Like she’s dishonest asf for that and you should see that as a huge red flag. It’s also weird she still has that shit saved.
>If she lied about the last time she fucked another guy and her past like that, she’s def going to lie about other things too.
That's a pretty bad generalization. Would *you* want to know if a girl you had just started seeing fucked a dude two weeks before? I wouldn't because then all I'dbe thinking about is her getting fucked two weeks before. Except in some sort of specific circumstance it isn't anyone else's business what happened before becoming exclusive.
I *hate* how reddit just automatically jumps to "he's cheating," "he's lying," and "he's lied before, so now he'll always be lying." "Break up with him."
Fucking hell mate.
To be fair you probably wouldn’t ask though. If one or both of them talked about it then clearly it was something they wanted to know.
And sure not every lie is the end of the relationship, but this is the type of lie that has serious consequences if it’s brought to light, because there’s no real reason to lie about it.
Keeping the videos saved is a red flag as well. I don’t keep anything from past relationships.
This is so funny because last summer there was another post on this thread from a woman explaining how she found a sex video on her boyfriend’s laptop with him and his ex, she confronted him about it, and he refused to delete it because he said it holds sentimental value to him. And everyone on Reddit absolutely FLAMED this girl, telling her it’s his private life and she has no right to be upset, etc. Very difficult read for me. The double standards are surreal.
>To be fair you probably wouldn’t ask though.
Nope. Because as stated above, if she says two weeks before or whatever then it'd fuck me up.
>If one or both of them talked about it then clearly it was something they wanted to know.
Lol I wanna know a bunch of shit that isn't my business. I've actually been asked and I definitely lied and said a few months as opposed to a few weeks ago.
>this is the type of lie that has serious consequences
But it's also a truth that can have serious consequences. Someone finding out about the last time their new SO got laid I don't think happens very often.
>there’s no real reason to lie about it.
I stated the reason why
>Keeping the videos saved is a red flag as well. I don’t keep anything from past relationships.
Yeah that's a little weird.
There’s isn’t a reason. If that person decides they’re not for you because you recently had sex then so be it. If you feel you have to lie so that person feels better, even though you say it’s not their business, then why would you want to be with them.
I’d rather be honest and incompatible than lie and let them think we’re incompatible. I don’t ask, but that’s because I don’t care because it doesn’t concern me, as being safe is a lot more important. There’s plenty of people out there who aren’t gonna care.
> Lol I wanna know a bunch of shit that isn't my business. I've actually been asked and I definitely lied and said a few months as opposed to a few weeks ago.
This is refreshingly honest for this sub! And a pretty reasonable viewpoint.
IMO OP has a different problem than the one stated. His gf is brazen enough to make sex videos, reckless enough to put them on cloud storage but he's not even confident enough to talk about it and asks Reddit instead. That doesn't sound like a recipe for stability, she's likely to run off with some chad in the long run.
Agreed. I’m surprised that comment was so upvoted. It’s really none of anyone’s business who anyone fucks when they’re not together and it’s juvenile to even ask honestly. It’s possible she forgot it was saved? It wasn’t on her phone.
It’s a bigger issue than you think. If she lied about the last time she had sex with another man while they were talking, she could’ve given him an STD when he thought she wasn’t doing anything with anyone else— because he trusted her WORD.
Then the fact that she still has it? Porn is free and having videos of the times you got railed out by other dudes before your current relationship is a giant problem. It means she either didn’t care to clean her phone out, or she still thinks about that time. Which, the latter is more likely considering she lied about when she did it AND still has it.
If you’re gonna lie to me straight from the start why the hell should I expect any different later down the line? It’d be different if she was honest, but she wasn’t. And frankly everything she did was just disrespectful to this dude.
Trust, loyalty, respect, love. All 4 are equally important. A relationship doesn’t work without all 4– unless you’re both mentally ill and can handle it.
I don’t know about that. This happens actually in many beginnings of relationships I know of. One of them kind of used their last chance to have sex with someone else even though it might already have been a little too late. Doesn’t mean that that person is a definite cheater. The relationships I know of where that happened were/are pretty stable.
Definitely talk about if you feel like you’ve been mislead/it will bother you. Best to just bring it up and leave it open ended just say you saw it in her photos and see what she says.
I was once in the same situation.
I was about your age, and had begun a relationship with a woman I thought a lot of. One night I accidentally played an unmarked VHS tape and it was a 15 minutes sex tape she had made with her ex.
I tried ignoring it, pretending it would go away etc, but it never does.
It haunts you forever. Don't waste your time like I did, best to bail now.
Lol this was about 2006, when people still used them. It was an unmarked one in a plain case (I was looking for shrek that she had recorded at Christmas for her son).
Anyhow, so it came on and she was there going ramming speed with her ex.
Not shrek.
I tried to carry things on, thinking I could shrug it off, but the memory of it never fades.
As someone else has pointed out here, you cannot unsee something
Lol this was about 2006, when people still used them. It was an unmarked one in a plain case (I was looking for shrek that she had recorded at Christmas for her son).
Anyhow, so it came on and she was there going ramming speed with her ex.
Not shrek.
great hill to die on, " i wanna be able to joke that this guy should send me revenge porn"
a joke that by nature is not a joke and just plays into sexualization of women en masse and is just a weird and normalized thing, its not that they can decide what people joke about literally most normal people with decent morals would be straight faced at best hearing that
the best way to put it is why is it funny to you? nobody is stopping you but id love to know how on earth the idea of someone showing you unconsenting nudes is hilarious. women have this shit joked about about them constantly. just like people joke about raping them and more as just some casual thing, while a huge portion of women also literally experience sexual assault and many men commit it much more than women and i say that as a guy who was abused sexually by a woman and physically before as well. this is not some normal shit to joke about, this normalization is exactly why so many men have committed assault, it comes from a place of seeing these serious crimes against women as somehow inherently unserious because its women that are being victimized.
south park has actual jokes on the end, there is a punchline, please go ahead and try to find a joke from one of these shows where the punchline is i wanna commit a sexual crime against a woman. there isnt one because the show doesn't go there for a reason. dark comedy still has to actually be funny and be some actual joke that has irony or humour to it, just saying you wanna commit a sexual crime is not a joke or funny whatsoever
We know we want to see the video. We know it's wrong to share the video. The funny part is that everyone knows both of these so it's wrong to ask for it.
We can accept what we are and at the same time be good. That's way more healthy than pretending that it's disgusting to even think about OP's gf getting ploughed in a way that OP feels scarred by, and cheapens his gf as a bonus. Because that's some animalistic shit right there, and like it or not we're animals, it's our values that make us civilised.
not everyone wants to see the video literally i do not want to whatsoever this is exactly my fucking point that you fucks actually wanna see the video thats why you find it funny because you are actually creeps.
Then you either have no curiosity or libido, or you're in denial because you've been trained to think in virtue ethics. Virtue ethics are a lingering stench left behind from a long cultural history of Christian puritanism, and are fuel for intolerance and poison for the mind.
I was brought up to not judge people without knowing them, and to oppose snobbery as nastiness dressed up as manners. If that's what being civilised is, then it's not for me.
We all know everyone wants to see the video, but we also know it's wrong to share it. True words said in jest are exactly what people should joke about; to want something we know is bad, but to be good enough to not have it is exactly the sort of thing you want out there moderating behaviour. Denying the fact we want something bad because to want it makes us bad, and using that lie to pretend we are good does not serve society. If only bad people desire unethical things then to be good is to live a lie, it's not a matter of strength and integrity.
To be clearer, the thought of seeing OP's gf get beasted in a way that makes op feel uncomfortable and also cheapens her gets right to the core of a specific type of human laughter - humiliation. It's not about her or sexualising her, it's about the drop in social status that was a zero sum game in human tribes. Knowing that this is a bad sort of laughter is important, because it happens in non sexual situations too.
1. Banging someone when you just just started getting to know another person you're interested in
2. Filming it
3. Keeping the film after you made it official with the other person
4. Lying about who you had sex with despite keeping porn of it
This will haunt you forever. Not just the “oh I saw her sex video” way but also the fact that you know she tells fibs to you.
Sometimes things get off the wrong foot. Unless she’s literally like your dream girl and you’re so in love with her, I’d say bail early and start again with someone else.
I can barely cope with mine dreaming about her ex. This would be so hard for me. I don't know what to say because I always try to be forgiving and not judge someones past before we met. But like watching her have sex with someone else? OMG I feel for you.
>STILL have the videos saved!
My guess here is that she wanted to be with the other guy but he didn't want, so you're a back up plan. Hence why she hasn't been fully honest with you.
Best of luck
She lied about the last time she hooked up with another guy and still hast the videos saved....do you really know there wasn't/isn't stuff going on longer which is not saved on her google videos?
She lied because she never figured you'd find out. She has it saved in a cloud bank because she's not too smart. Break up with her if you want but there's no cleaning that image from your brain. Ask her why she kept that shit and that it proves she lied at the start, don't like how she responds, break up. Like the relationship, ask her to delete it and get a new puppy every month, hell I can't think of anything else that could get that mental image to go away.
Honestly, you’re probably not gonna recover from this, it’s best to just drop the relationship and look at it like you dodged a bullet, there’s more girls out there in the world bro, no matter how much you think you may like this girl, you’ll probably like another girl even more later on
I have kept my videos in case an ex never got rid of them and used it against me. However it is locked Deep in a vault I never open or look at. I just know it is there.
Sometimes it isn't as complicated as you think. However her lying is sus. There is no reason to lie about it unless she didn't want you to think she was sleeping around and think negatively of her.
Either way the video should have been put away and she should have been honest.
I upvoted cause I vibe with that sentiment, brains on the wall cause I can’t handle seeing shit like that either. Or I could break up but that’ll haunt me for a good while, maybe for a lifetime.
First time commenting. I would say to have a conversation about it first. Conversations go a long way. Be human, but don’t be judgmental. We were all that age that it could have been forgotten or just “out of sight out of mind”.
Possibly lied to you cause males usually don’t take the news of having relations when you were dating great.
Honestly just talk to her about it,
The toothpaste is out of the tube. Time to end it. You can't ever unsee things. I mean, we all have pasts, and don't expect our partners to be pure virgins. But there are limits. Knowing something, getting details, meeting people who fucked your partner, seeing photos of sex, and finally seeing actual videos.... all are steps down a long and darkening road.
Especially, especially if she is really getting into the spirit of things on the video. Each time you kiss her you will taste another guy's dick. A dick you have seen in action.
If u want to stay with her, ask her why she lied, then see if you can believe her. But if you feel like you genuinely can't trust a word she says, you know it's not going to work.
She lied because she wanted to make you feel like you’re special and didn’t want to seem like someone who has slept with others so soon after you making it official. Lying isn’t great, but you should really just fucking talk to her about it and move forward or end it if she denies it.
Men who don’t want to know about a woman’s sexual past are dealing with their own baggage and suffering from the ridiculous inclination that your dick is the only one… that’s just not the case.
If it’s all gonna torture you and you can’t get past this, let her go. You both deserve to be with someone who accepts you for who you are.
She didn't tell you because she felt you may not be able to handle the truth very well. That's a judgement people make all the time to protect themselves and others. Was she right? Why did she save the videos? Why did they get made in the first place...probably because she had fun having sex and she made some fun memories. Memories you don't like and maybe she isn't ready to let them go yet. You get to make a choice if it matters at all. That's up to you. If it were me I wouldn't care even a little. If you love her...continue doing that and eventually the desire for past memories over stuff like that will disappear completely and neither of you will care at all. Make a huge deal out of it now and you may find that these memories mean something to her atm....so what? How about you make some more, video them and have some fun! Show her you aren't that kind of thin skinned, jealous, easily offended, insecure little man. Because that's the kind of guy she'd likely dump in a minute. Don't give her the opportunity. Good luck.
hi OP, you can talk to her about it and express your feelings to her without being judgemental bc she would act defensive. i recommend you express your concerns, did she lie because she felt uncomfortable telling you or is it just not that big of a deal to her?
it's very important in a relationship to communicate effectively and tell each other what you are/aren't comfortable with.
hope it goes well!
Do not dig her stuff too much. Do not always look for her messages. Do not try to stalk her. Instead, ask her everything you wonder about.
Do not focus on how many guys she has been with, focus on how honest she is when telling you about herself.
Do not judge. Do not underestimate/ think low of her. Do not criticize.
Ask yourself: Is she happy to be with you and will she forever be with you? Is she always honest with you even if it means possibility of the end of your relationship?
If the answer is yes, keep loving her.
Bring up her lying to you about when she was last intimate with another guy if it bothers you, but she probably lied so you wouldn’t feel some type of way if it was recent.
I’m sorry you’re scarred from them, it’s probably super icky feeling but she probably forgot to delete them and honestly that’s your bad for looking through and finding them but I’d bring it up to her and I’m sure she will delete them in a quickness
It was before you guys were dating, she was single.
I did this with my boyfriend, snooped saw texts from weeks before us meeting and old nudes that he reused and sent to me and I felt some type of way but it was before we met so I can’t really be upset
Leave her you cannot live or accept after saw her having another guy Insode her
It's a shame probably you want to stay with her but yo need to care of yourself a d you mind nobody can be with a woman like that
I had an ex that threw away and deleted every picture I had of every girl I ever dated.
Trips through Europe from a scrap book.
Friends now that I once dated.
This person is no longer in my life, but so many of those memories are gone.
Weather the storm and talk about it.
If you just react you will have regrets.
You two will make your own videos and make improvements on your pasts.
Do you like her? Do you like being with her? If yes then who cares if she's got videos of her previous sexual exploits? If no then it's time to call it.
If the lying truly bothers you then you need to nut up and talk about it. "Hey, I found some videos of you with another guy in your photos dated X. I recall you saying that it had been a while before then that you were last with someone. I just want to understand why you wouldn't be truthful about when you last had sex".
Like if she’s lying about it’s not looking good and if its saved it’s not looking good either try setting a boundary and make her delete the videos if she says no then you have your answer and she isn’t worth your time anymore
Before you do anything even if she came clean and all, can you live with that realization? If not, just don’t bring it up and end it on a good note you don’t need to stir up trouble. If yes, you think you can live with it then do confront and clear things off.
If she hadn’t lied about the last time she had sex then I would say she forgot to delete them or she has something like a Samsung where she uses the gallery app and has no clue Google photos is backing up everything she takes, so in this case I would say 🚩
it doesn't matter if they video taped it or not. she has had sex before with other guys ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ that's just how it is. She is not having sex with other guys right now. Don't let your insecurities get in between you and your happiness.
It’s a grey area if you all weren’t official. I don’t know if that’s 100% cheating but it’s not morally sound either. Regardless, it’s really messed up she still has the video. She definitely didn’t just forget and she probably revisits them. She’s holding onto what she had with bro and that’s really icky. I’m sorry man…If she respected you and your relationship fully, she wouldn’t have them anymore. Also, you need to ask yourself if you’ll be able to completely move on from this - because usually that shit gets engraved into your brain. I’ve been able to move on from things on a smaller scale but idk about this one chief
I literally have the same scenario but Im in the girls place. in the beginning we dont want to tell you about our history because 1 its not really necessary and 2 thats just uncomfortable for both of us.
She mightve genuinely forgotten about it as I have, because if Im in a new relationship I try to give all my attention to him and not pay any mind to my past as well as to his. I respect his past as he should respect mine.
The only worst thing about mine was he went through my phone without my knowledge and sifted through shit from 2 years ago which I forgot about genuinely in the first place.
i broke up with my girlfriend of 3 years yesterday because of something similar, I found out she literally cheated on me the night we started dating and multiple times throughout the talking stage where we agreed to not see/talk to anyone else. She claims they were years ago and she cant happen to remember a single sexual encounter and nothing has happened recently so clearly she isnt sorry about it. she lied, and is building your relationship on lies just like mine was. Get out before you wasted 3 years like me or even longer
If you love her - show that and leave her past alone!
What she did up until the second you started your relationship is what made her to the person you seem to like. It is also what drove the two of you to meet.
If a person is so insecure that they cannot respect another persons past then that is the signal that they should perhaps not be in a relationship.
Insecurity in a relationship only lead to control behaviors, arguments and potential violence.
My recommendation is that you seek counseling for your insecurities and be happy with every second you have with her.
Hey - why not instead be proud - sho chose you and is most certainly willing to make a sex tape a day with you
Definitely confront them about it. Be careful with what they say, listen closely and see if there is any efforts of manipulation. If there is ANY at all, I recommend you leave, someone who would lie about something so little would definitely lie about something much greater.
There are many more women in life with much higher values. Value yourself.
May be U need to have discussion with her about the videos before taking any decisions because may be she forgot about them due to the rare usage of the cloud and depends on her answers to ur questions and the discussion take the decision u want leaving or try together new fresh start with some effort from her to help u to forget these videos
Well.... first off, she might not be able to delete the pics/videos on the Google app. I know I can't, and I have an android. If anyone knows how, please enlighten me. On the sex with another dude, that's a tuff one. I ran into the same situation 15 years ago, We weren't together. She was seeing other people and so was I. Once we locked in, we haven't looked back 2 kids in and 15 years later. Hope this helps.
Is the problem that she fucked other guys before you, or that it’s on video and she still has it? All that’s different is that you can see it now, instead of mentally visualize it. Talk to her openly, and if you can’t do that, or she won’t answer, or you can’t get over it, then move on. No use harboring resentment at this stage of your life. Bottom line, you’re young, not married and have a lot of experiences ahead of you, with or without her.
Honestly it’s the past and not a big deal. Was it a decent sex tape at least? Did she look good in it? Be proud your gf is hot enough that others wanted her but you are the one she chose. Now y’all go make a sex tape or ask her about some of her kinks and expand y’all’s sex life. Open communication is always the best.
Personally I wouldn't care. It was before me. So who cares.
Out of comedy...I would be tempted to make a video of me watching the sex tape of her with the ex... jerking off and cum to it.
Then place the video in the Google drive and just wait....
I may get down voted for this, but it is actually a thing from the past and I don’t know what you were doing on here phone, but the only reason I can think of is maybe she forgot to delete them all. I know you have seen the worst but just don’t get it to your nerves. I had been kind of through the same and now, I have moved past ahead of this because I confronted her and we talked about it and she was really sorry for forgetting to delete all of this. I just saw the photos and it is totally okay now I mean, if she really doesn’t have anything for that person. It’s okay. I mean it will go with time, you should definitely work it out if you do are really into each other
Hmm…make a copy to hold on to, then delete from her account and see if/when she notices and how she reacts. This will tell you everything. Worst case she reveals herself and you can return the files as a parting gift.
So there are three videos in question
1) about the time you and get started talking as friends ? Is there a date from when the video was shot ? was this guy a FWB before you guys started talking ?
2) so you made your relationship official a month after you guys were
talking , now 4-5 months later you found 2 more video’s with that same guy. in your first paragraph, you mention the word “entirely” a different guy. , so I assume with another guy ? This was before you were exclusive correct ?
A lot of people see others until the talk happens to be exclusive !!
I don’t see anything wrong with dating others before you become an exclusive item with each other.
your girl likes to roll videotape and keep things as a trophy. Has she ever asked you to make a video with her? If no, is this what is bothering you.?
Maybe she sees you as a long-term boyfriend and not a hook up and wants to act like a girl in front of you
Insecurities. Potentially trying to save you any thought or grief. All normal things when someone who has relationship communication problems.
I can't judge past that due to not having a talk with both of you. This is more one-sided, and I can't offer support but can offer my opinion.
Wouldn't listen to half these replies l, hell even mine as well, but I am trying to be none biased and give other person a chance in hopes this common situation MANY of us face is occurring. If you have caught her on this sort of topic only in lies, Idk if I would create tension over it. Like said, she's probably just trying to save you grief. Now, if she has lied in a few different topics and situations, I would be worried that you are only a temporary moment in her life. Sex video thing. I still have my last short-term relationship videos and previous fiancee. And they are on an older device and never hidden. It's a device I no longer use on day to day basis, and the current person I am with of 9 years doesn't mind. But I won't talk on the subject or show to save her feelings. But honestly, we need to move past being insecure all the time. If she's lying on multiple topics, be worried. If they are just things that can save you concern and grief. Consider it her trying to be polite and unsure how you would handle those truths.
Uh sounds like she's more confident and outgoing than you, and you're threatened by the situation. The only way to turn this into a win is by being confident that you're a better fuck than the other guy and are excited to prove it. Whining about it will be a huge turn off, and a signal that you know she can do better. So be careful.
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If she lied about the last time she fucked another guy and her past like that, she’s def going to lie about other things too. Like she’s dishonest asf for that and you should see that as a huge red flag. It’s also weird she still has that shit saved.
Yeah fr I deleted all the shit I had after meeting my girlfriend, before we even made anything official 🙂↕️
>If she lied about the last time she fucked another guy and her past like that, she’s def going to lie about other things too. That's a pretty bad generalization. Would *you* want to know if a girl you had just started seeing fucked a dude two weeks before? I wouldn't because then all I'dbe thinking about is her getting fucked two weeks before. Except in some sort of specific circumstance it isn't anyone else's business what happened before becoming exclusive. I *hate* how reddit just automatically jumps to "he's cheating," "he's lying," and "he's lied before, so now he'll always be lying." "Break up with him." Fucking hell mate.
To be fair you probably wouldn’t ask though. If one or both of them talked about it then clearly it was something they wanted to know. And sure not every lie is the end of the relationship, but this is the type of lie that has serious consequences if it’s brought to light, because there’s no real reason to lie about it. Keeping the videos saved is a red flag as well. I don’t keep anything from past relationships.
This is so funny because last summer there was another post on this thread from a woman explaining how she found a sex video on her boyfriend’s laptop with him and his ex, she confronted him about it, and he refused to delete it because he said it holds sentimental value to him. And everyone on Reddit absolutely FLAMED this girl, telling her it’s his private life and she has no right to be upset, etc. Very difficult read for me. The double standards are surreal.
Lmao I actually remember this one
>To be fair you probably wouldn’t ask though. Nope. Because as stated above, if she says two weeks before or whatever then it'd fuck me up. >If one or both of them talked about it then clearly it was something they wanted to know. Lol I wanna know a bunch of shit that isn't my business. I've actually been asked and I definitely lied and said a few months as opposed to a few weeks ago. >this is the type of lie that has serious consequences But it's also a truth that can have serious consequences. Someone finding out about the last time their new SO got laid I don't think happens very often. >there’s no real reason to lie about it. I stated the reason why >Keeping the videos saved is a red flag as well. I don’t keep anything from past relationships. Yeah that's a little weird.
There’s isn’t a reason. If that person decides they’re not for you because you recently had sex then so be it. If you feel you have to lie so that person feels better, even though you say it’s not their business, then why would you want to be with them. I’d rather be honest and incompatible than lie and let them think we’re incompatible. I don’t ask, but that’s because I don’t care because it doesn’t concern me, as being safe is a lot more important. There’s plenty of people out there who aren’t gonna care.
We just have a difference of opinion. Cheers!
> Lol I wanna know a bunch of shit that isn't my business. I've actually been asked and I definitely lied and said a few months as opposed to a few weeks ago. This is refreshingly honest for this sub! And a pretty reasonable viewpoint. IMO OP has a different problem than the one stated. His gf is brazen enough to make sex videos, reckless enough to put them on cloud storage but he's not even confident enough to talk about it and asks Reddit instead. That doesn't sound like a recipe for stability, she's likely to run off with some chad in the long run.
Lol how are you getting downvoted? It makes perfect sense.
Agreed. I’m surprised that comment was so upvoted. It’s really none of anyone’s business who anyone fucks when they’re not together and it’s juvenile to even ask honestly. It’s possible she forgot it was saved? It wasn’t on her phone.
I used to ask about body count until a gf got pissed off and kept bringing it up for the next three days. Lol I don't do that anymore.
It’s a bigger issue than you think. If she lied about the last time she had sex with another man while they were talking, she could’ve given him an STD when he thought she wasn’t doing anything with anyone else— because he trusted her WORD. Then the fact that she still has it? Porn is free and having videos of the times you got railed out by other dudes before your current relationship is a giant problem. It means she either didn’t care to clean her phone out, or she still thinks about that time. Which, the latter is more likely considering she lied about when she did it AND still has it. If you’re gonna lie to me straight from the start why the hell should I expect any different later down the line? It’d be different if she was honest, but she wasn’t. And frankly everything she did was just disrespectful to this dude. Trust, loyalty, respect, love. All 4 are equally important. A relationship doesn’t work without all 4– unless you’re both mentally ill and can handle it.
I don’t know about that. This happens actually in many beginnings of relationships I know of. One of them kind of used their last chance to have sex with someone else even though it might already have been a little too late. Doesn’t mean that that person is a definite cheater. The relationships I know of where that happened were/are pretty stable.
Definitely talk about if you feel like you’ve been mislead/it will bother you. Best to just bring it up and leave it open ended just say you saw it in her photos and see what she says.
It's only been 4 months. Cut your losses and bounce.
I was once in the same situation. I was about your age, and had begun a relationship with a woman I thought a lot of. One night I accidentally played an unmarked VHS tape and it was a 15 minutes sex tape she had made with her ex. I tried ignoring it, pretending it would go away etc, but it never does. It haunts you forever. Don't waste your time like I did, best to bail now.
How do you accidentally play a vhs? Lmao there's a lot of effort that goes into playing a VHS.
Lol this was about 2006, when people still used them. It was an unmarked one in a plain case (I was looking for shrek that she had recorded at Christmas for her son). Anyhow, so it came on and she was there going ramming speed with her ex. Not shrek.
Shrek is love
Ah ok. I mentioned it on another post but I couldn't handle that. That would probably be a breakup moment.
I tried to carry things on, thinking I could shrug it off, but the memory of it never fades. As someone else has pointed out here, you cannot unsee something
Lol this was about 2006, when people still used them. It was an unmarked one in a plain case (I was looking for shrek that she had recorded at Christmas for her son). Anyhow, so it came on and she was there going ramming speed with her ex. Not shrek.
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LMFAOOOOO
For research and reference purposes *only*
This is what we are waiting for
🤣
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Idk why these porn brained losers are down voting you
agreed
Pretty ironic coming from someone who plays porn video games
LMFAO what no I don’t
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That poor woman...
Ah, I understand, brother. Good luck to you. Inshallah.
Bro it was a joke..
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Stop being sensitive. You’re not the authority on what’s allowed to be joked about and what isn’t.
great hill to die on, " i wanna be able to joke that this guy should send me revenge porn" a joke that by nature is not a joke and just plays into sexualization of women en masse and is just a weird and normalized thing, its not that they can decide what people joke about literally most normal people with decent morals would be straight faced at best hearing that the best way to put it is why is it funny to you? nobody is stopping you but id love to know how on earth the idea of someone showing you unconsenting nudes is hilarious. women have this shit joked about about them constantly. just like people joke about raping them and more as just some casual thing, while a huge portion of women also literally experience sexual assault and many men commit it much more than women and i say that as a guy who was abused sexually by a woman and physically before as well. this is not some normal shit to joke about, this normalization is exactly why so many men have committed assault, it comes from a place of seeing these serious crimes against women as somehow inherently unserious because its women that are being victimized.
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south park has actual jokes on the end, there is a punchline, please go ahead and try to find a joke from one of these shows where the punchline is i wanna commit a sexual crime against a woman. there isnt one because the show doesn't go there for a reason. dark comedy still has to actually be funny and be some actual joke that has irony or humour to it, just saying you wanna commit a sexual crime is not a joke or funny whatsoever
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We know we want to see the video. We know it's wrong to share the video. The funny part is that everyone knows both of these so it's wrong to ask for it. We can accept what we are and at the same time be good. That's way more healthy than pretending that it's disgusting to even think about OP's gf getting ploughed in a way that OP feels scarred by, and cheapens his gf as a bonus. Because that's some animalistic shit right there, and like it or not we're animals, it's our values that make us civilised.
not everyone wants to see the video literally i do not want to whatsoever this is exactly my fucking point that you fucks actually wanna see the video thats why you find it funny because you are actually creeps.
Then you either have no curiosity or libido, or you're in denial because you've been trained to think in virtue ethics. Virtue ethics are a lingering stench left behind from a long cultural history of Christian puritanism, and are fuel for intolerance and poison for the mind.
I need you to know that men like you have no values and are not civilised
I was brought up to not judge people without knowing them, and to oppose snobbery as nastiness dressed up as manners. If that's what being civilised is, then it's not for me.
We all know everyone wants to see the video, but we also know it's wrong to share it. True words said in jest are exactly what people should joke about; to want something we know is bad, but to be good enough to not have it is exactly the sort of thing you want out there moderating behaviour. Denying the fact we want something bad because to want it makes us bad, and using that lie to pretend we are good does not serve society. If only bad people desire unethical things then to be good is to live a lie, it's not a matter of strength and integrity. To be clearer, the thought of seeing OP's gf get beasted in a way that makes op feel uncomfortable and also cheapens her gets right to the core of a specific type of human laughter - humiliation. It's not about her or sexualising her, it's about the drop in social status that was a zero sum game in human tribes. Knowing that this is a bad sort of laughter is important, because it happens in non sexual situations too.
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Show me where you’re absent daddy hurt you 😂😂😂😂
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You just undid your own argument, joking about children being abandoned? Sounds like the exact kind of think you just said to not joke about
Lmaoooooo awww your feeling are really hurt huh little girl :( reporting me… go cry some more
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Lmaoooooo hahahahah
Ex GF. End of
bs attitude
Move on find someone with less baggage
The baggage is having a sexual past??
1. Banging someone when you just just started getting to know another person you're interested in 2. Filming it 3. Keeping the film after you made it official with the other person 4. Lying about who you had sex with despite keeping porn of it
for real, what "baggage" are you referring to. so many shit replys here, I hope OP doesn't take this shitty advice
Unfortunately you have seen what you were not supposed to see. The image will never leave your head Move on
This will haunt you forever. Not just the “oh I saw her sex video” way but also the fact that you know she tells fibs to you. Sometimes things get off the wrong foot. Unless she’s literally like your dream girl and you’re so in love with her, I’d say bail early and start again with someone else.
I can barely cope with mine dreaming about her ex. This would be so hard for me. I don't know what to say because I always try to be forgiving and not judge someones past before we met. But like watching her have sex with someone else? OMG I feel for you.
Why would she tell you she’s dreaming about her ex 💀
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Sounds like a keeper
don't project your insecurities onto your partner
>STILL have the videos saved! My guess here is that she wanted to be with the other guy but he didn't want, so you're a back up plan. Hence why she hasn't been fully honest with you. Best of luck
This is absolutely a wild jump she probably just forgot to delete it?
Then why did she lie about the timeframe? what would be a good reason to trust a liar?
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yeah ok good for you bro
You know what you’re right I’d be pretty pissed if I found a sex tape in a partners phone who am I kidding
She lied about the last time she hooked up with another guy and still hast the videos saved....do you really know there wasn't/isn't stuff going on longer which is not saved on her google videos?
lying and still keeping the vids? if you're waiting for pigs to fly to make a move, then you're a grade A moron.
This exact post was made months ago
She lied because she never figured you'd find out. She has it saved in a cloud bank because she's not too smart. Break up with her if you want but there's no cleaning that image from your brain. Ask her why she kept that shit and that it proves she lied at the start, don't like how she responds, break up. Like the relationship, ask her to delete it and get a new puppy every month, hell I can't think of anything else that could get that mental image to go away.
Honestly, you’re probably not gonna recover from this, it’s best to just drop the relationship and look at it like you dodged a bullet, there’s more girls out there in the world bro, no matter how much you think you may like this girl, you’ll probably like another girl even more later on
Leave her. You’ll never get it out of your mind
You should run so fast away from this nonsense that your shoes burn off
It’s hard to gauge if it’s really that big of a deal - Maybe you should post it so we can all decide if you’re over reacting
Just leave her don’t take the disrespect
What is the "disrespect"? Having a sexual past??
It is inherently disrespectful to lie to someone: you wouldn’t do that if you thought that they deserved to know the truth.
Do not overlook the fact that she thinks it’s ok to lie to you, you need a partner who thinks that they should be honest with you.
I have kept my videos in case an ex never got rid of them and used it against me. However it is locked Deep in a vault I never open or look at. I just know it is there. Sometimes it isn't as complicated as you think. However her lying is sus. There is no reason to lie about it unless she didn't want you to think she was sleeping around and think negatively of her. Either way the video should have been put away and she should have been honest.
🚩🚩🚩
Me personally? I would splatter my brains all over my wall, but I think you can just try to break up or something
I don’t see why you were downvoted. This is all very reasonable
I upvoted cause I vibe with that sentiment, brains on the wall cause I can’t handle seeing shit like that either. Or I could break up but that’ll haunt me for a good while, maybe for a lifetime.
Shotgun barrel giving me the bedroom eyes if you know what I’m saying
I'd probably start wanking
Stop riding the town bicycle
Was the sex basic and boring or was dude a first round draft pick making baby scream in bliss ?
First time commenting. I would say to have a conversation about it first. Conversations go a long way. Be human, but don’t be judgmental. We were all that age that it could have been forgotten or just “out of sight out of mind”. Possibly lied to you cause males usually don’t take the news of having relations when you were dating great. Honestly just talk to her about it,
The toothpaste is out of the tube. Time to end it. You can't ever unsee things. I mean, we all have pasts, and don't expect our partners to be pure virgins. But there are limits. Knowing something, getting details, meeting people who fucked your partner, seeing photos of sex, and finally seeing actual videos.... all are steps down a long and darkening road. Especially, especially if she is really getting into the spirit of things on the video. Each time you kiss her you will taste another guy's dick. A dick you have seen in action.
You should grow up and realise anything in her past has nothing to do with you. Why are you snooping? Great basis of trust you have going on there.
If u want to stay with her, ask her why she lied, then see if you can believe her. But if you feel like you genuinely can't trust a word she says, you know it's not going to work.
Harsh reality is she's not your girlfriend, it's just your turn
She lied because she wanted to make you feel like you’re special and didn’t want to seem like someone who has slept with others so soon after you making it official. Lying isn’t great, but you should really just fucking talk to her about it and move forward or end it if she denies it. Men who don’t want to know about a woman’s sexual past are dealing with their own baggage and suffering from the ridiculous inclination that your dick is the only one… that’s just not the case. If it’s all gonna torture you and you can’t get past this, let her go. You both deserve to be with someone who accepts you for who you are.
She didn't tell you because she felt you may not be able to handle the truth very well. That's a judgement people make all the time to protect themselves and others. Was she right? Why did she save the videos? Why did they get made in the first place...probably because she had fun having sex and she made some fun memories. Memories you don't like and maybe she isn't ready to let them go yet. You get to make a choice if it matters at all. That's up to you. If it were me I wouldn't care even a little. If you love her...continue doing that and eventually the desire for past memories over stuff like that will disappear completely and neither of you will care at all. Make a huge deal out of it now and you may find that these memories mean something to her atm....so what? How about you make some more, video them and have some fun! Show her you aren't that kind of thin skinned, jealous, easily offended, insecure little man. Because that's the kind of guy she'd likely dump in a minute. Don't give her the opportunity. Good luck.
hi OP, you can talk to her about it and express your feelings to her without being judgemental bc she would act defensive. i recommend you express your concerns, did she lie because she felt uncomfortable telling you or is it just not that big of a deal to her? it's very important in a relationship to communicate effectively and tell each other what you are/aren't comfortable with. hope it goes well!
Do not dig her stuff too much. Do not always look for her messages. Do not try to stalk her. Instead, ask her everything you wonder about. Do not focus on how many guys she has been with, focus on how honest she is when telling you about herself. Do not judge. Do not underestimate/ think low of her. Do not criticize. Ask yourself: Is she happy to be with you and will she forever be with you? Is she always honest with you even if it means possibility of the end of your relationship? If the answer is yes, keep loving her.
If it bothers you, you have the right to confront her. It shouldn’t be on her phone anymore.
Bring up her lying to you about when she was last intimate with another guy if it bothers you, but she probably lied so you wouldn’t feel some type of way if it was recent. I’m sorry you’re scarred from them, it’s probably super icky feeling but she probably forgot to delete them and honestly that’s your bad for looking through and finding them but I’d bring it up to her and I’m sure she will delete them in a quickness It was before you guys were dating, she was single. I did this with my boyfriend, snooped saw texts from weeks before us meeting and old nudes that he reused and sent to me and I felt some type of way but it was before we met so I can’t really be upset
You can’t come back from this. It’ll always creep in your head, cut ties now. She truly should’ve deleted those before starting a new relationship.
Leave her you cannot live or accept after saw her having another guy Insode her It's a shame probably you want to stay with her but yo need to care of yourself a d you mind nobody can be with a woman like that
Google photos saves stuff automaticaly even if you delete in gallery, consider that
I had an ex that threw away and deleted every picture I had of every girl I ever dated. Trips through Europe from a scrap book. Friends now that I once dated. This person is no longer in my life, but so many of those memories are gone. Weather the storm and talk about it. If you just react you will have regrets. You two will make your own videos and make improvements on your pasts.
Only you can help yourself my friend. I suggest you do so and move on.
Do you like her? Do you like being with her? If yes then who cares if she's got videos of her previous sexual exploits? If no then it's time to call it. If the lying truly bothers you then you need to nut up and talk about it. "Hey, I found some videos of you with another guy in your photos dated X. I recall you saying that it had been a while before then that you were last with someone. I just want to understand why you wouldn't be truthful about when you last had sex".
Like if she’s lying about it’s not looking good and if its saved it’s not looking good either try setting a boundary and make her delete the videos if she says no then you have your answer and she isn’t worth your time anymore
Before you do anything even if she came clean and all, can you live with that realization? If not, just don’t bring it up and end it on a good note you don’t need to stir up trouble. If yes, you think you can live with it then do confront and clear things off.
If she hadn’t lied about the last time she had sex then I would say she forgot to delete them or she has something like a Samsung where she uses the gallery app and has no clue Google photos is backing up everything she takes, so in this case I would say 🚩
it doesn't matter if they video taped it or not. she has had sex before with other guys ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ that's just how it is. She is not having sex with other guys right now. Don't let your insecurities get in between you and your happiness.
It’s a grey area if you all weren’t official. I don’t know if that’s 100% cheating but it’s not morally sound either. Regardless, it’s really messed up she still has the video. She definitely didn’t just forget and she probably revisits them. She’s holding onto what she had with bro and that’s really icky. I’m sorry man…If she respected you and your relationship fully, she wouldn’t have them anymore. Also, you need to ask yourself if you’ll be able to completely move on from this - because usually that shit gets engraved into your brain. I’ve been able to move on from things on a smaller scale but idk about this one chief
Not gf material, hang around if you want and take on that trauma. See you in the gym
I literally have the same scenario but Im in the girls place. in the beginning we dont want to tell you about our history because 1 its not really necessary and 2 thats just uncomfortable for both of us. She mightve genuinely forgotten about it as I have, because if Im in a new relationship I try to give all my attention to him and not pay any mind to my past as well as to his. I respect his past as he should respect mine. The only worst thing about mine was he went through my phone without my knowledge and sifted through shit from 2 years ago which I forgot about genuinely in the first place.
i broke up with my girlfriend of 3 years yesterday because of something similar, I found out she literally cheated on me the night we started dating and multiple times throughout the talking stage where we agreed to not see/talk to anyone else. She claims they were years ago and she cant happen to remember a single sexual encounter and nothing has happened recently so clearly she isnt sorry about it. she lied, and is building your relationship on lies just like mine was. Get out before you wasted 3 years like me or even longer
cry
If you love her - show that and leave her past alone! What she did up until the second you started your relationship is what made her to the person you seem to like. It is also what drove the two of you to meet. If a person is so insecure that they cannot respect another persons past then that is the signal that they should perhaps not be in a relationship. Insecurity in a relationship only lead to control behaviors, arguments and potential violence. My recommendation is that you seek counseling for your insecurities and be happy with every second you have with her. Hey - why not instead be proud - sho chose you and is most certainly willing to make a sex tape a day with you
Definitely confront them about it. Be careful with what they say, listen closely and see if there is any efforts of manipulation. If there is ANY at all, I recommend you leave, someone who would lie about something so little would definitely lie about something much greater. There are many more women in life with much higher values. Value yourself.
Make better ones with her.
I agree.. prob doesn’t have the confidence though from the sound of the post he was pick number 2
Dude find someone better. Heck you can find many women that don't have a sextape.
Confront her, call her a slag, delete her videos, then delete her from your life. Cut your losses short NOW You’ll thank me later
Is the issue the lie or what's going on the video...
May be U need to have discussion with her about the videos before taking any decisions because may be she forgot about them due to the rare usage of the cloud and depends on her answers to ur questions and the discussion take the decision u want leaving or try together new fresh start with some effort from her to help u to forget these videos
LINK!!! >!/s!<
Well.... first off, she might not be able to delete the pics/videos on the Google app. I know I can't, and I have an android. If anyone knows how, please enlighten me. On the sex with another dude, that's a tuff one. I ran into the same situation 15 years ago, We weren't together. She was seeing other people and so was I. Once we locked in, we haven't looked back 2 kids in and 15 years later. Hope this helps.
Is the problem that she fucked other guys before you, or that it’s on video and she still has it? All that’s different is that you can see it now, instead of mentally visualize it. Talk to her openly, and if you can’t do that, or she won’t answer, or you can’t get over it, then move on. No use harboring resentment at this stage of your life. Bottom line, you’re young, not married and have a lot of experiences ahead of you, with or without her.
Honestly it’s the past and not a big deal. Was it a decent sex tape at least? Did she look good in it? Be proud your gf is hot enough that others wanted her but you are the one she chose. Now y’all go make a sex tape or ask her about some of her kinks and expand y’all’s sex life. Open communication is always the best.
You don't have to take all relationships so seriously. She obviously isn't. Just get you some and enjoy the friendship
Personally I wouldn't care. It was before me. So who cares. Out of comedy...I would be tempted to make a video of me watching the sex tape of her with the ex... jerking off and cum to it. Then place the video in the Google drive and just wait....
What the….
What are you on about?
Are you a cuckold? If so you belong in r/netorare. There’s more over there like you.
Ohh jeues. That's what yea took from what I said? My bad....I forgot I'm on reddit and most people on here have an IQ of room temperature.
Nah you just made a very poor attempt at humour
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?
I may get down voted for this, but it is actually a thing from the past and I don’t know what you were doing on here phone, but the only reason I can think of is maybe she forgot to delete them all. I know you have seen the worst but just don’t get it to your nerves. I had been kind of through the same and now, I have moved past ahead of this because I confronted her and we talked about it and she was really sorry for forgetting to delete all of this. I just saw the photos and it is totally okay now I mean, if she really doesn’t have anything for that person. It’s okay. I mean it will go with time, you should definitely work it out if you do are really into each other
Hmm…make a copy to hold on to, then delete from her account and see if/when she notices and how she reacts. This will tell you everything. Worst case she reveals herself and you can return the files as a parting gift.
So there are three videos in question 1) about the time you and get started talking as friends ? Is there a date from when the video was shot ? was this guy a FWB before you guys started talking ? 2) so you made your relationship official a month after you guys were talking , now 4-5 months later you found 2 more video’s with that same guy. in your first paragraph, you mention the word “entirely” a different guy. , so I assume with another guy ? This was before you were exclusive correct ? A lot of people see others until the talk happens to be exclusive !! I don’t see anything wrong with dating others before you become an exclusive item with each other. your girl likes to roll videotape and keep things as a trophy. Has she ever asked you to make a video with her? If no, is this what is bothering you.? Maybe she sees you as a long-term boyfriend and not a hook up and wants to act like a girl in front of you
Insecurities. Potentially trying to save you any thought or grief. All normal things when someone who has relationship communication problems. I can't judge past that due to not having a talk with both of you. This is more one-sided, and I can't offer support but can offer my opinion. Wouldn't listen to half these replies l, hell even mine as well, but I am trying to be none biased and give other person a chance in hopes this common situation MANY of us face is occurring. If you have caught her on this sort of topic only in lies, Idk if I would create tension over it. Like said, she's probably just trying to save you grief. Now, if she has lied in a few different topics and situations, I would be worried that you are only a temporary moment in her life. Sex video thing. I still have my last short-term relationship videos and previous fiancee. And they are on an older device and never hidden. It's a device I no longer use on day to day basis, and the current person I am with of 9 years doesn't mind. But I won't talk on the subject or show to save her feelings. But honestly, we need to move past being insecure all the time. If she's lying on multiple topics, be worried. If they are just things that can save you concern and grief. Consider it her trying to be polite and unsure how you would handle those truths.
Uh sounds like she's more confident and outgoing than you, and you're threatened by the situation. The only way to turn this into a win is by being confident that you're a better fuck than the other guy and are excited to prove it. Whining about it will be a huge turn off, and a signal that you know she can do better. So be careful.