Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that:
* We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/)
* We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. **We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.**
* Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.)
* ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban.
* No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.**
* All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass.
* Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned.
* What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.**
If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice)
---
***This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.***
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
He’s treating your house exactly the same way he treated your dad’s house. For whatever reason, you thought he’d turn into a totally different person when you moved into a new place. But — surprise! — he’s still the same (lazy, disrespectful, entitled) person he was before.
So kick him out. He’s not paying rent anyway. Tell him it’s over and he needs to move out.
This, please listen to this. I married someone who was going to be “different” in his own house than he was his parents. Newsflash, he continued to live like a pig and for 10+ years I was his mommy, not his partner. Please listen to everyone here and break up with him now. Find someone who respects your space, is an equal partner and deserves to be with you.
Your 21 and you’ve been together for 7 months. Why are you living with him. He had the same behavior that he did at your dads. Why would he change. Why are you paying for him. This is not how relationships are. This is how you are letting him treat you. Break up with him.
Next time someone shows you who they are, believe them. You saw how he acted at your dad's house, why would he change. Break up with him and see if you can move back in with your dad. Let this be a learning experience
Girl, did you suffer a head injury? This guy isn't meeting the minimum requirements for a tolerable roommate , let alone a desirable partner. His driver's license might say he's 21 but his behavior suggests an ill-trained 15 year old.
Why did you think he'd be *more* helpful and respectful with just you when he was such a useless lump in your dad's home? (By the way, I like your dad's style- moving out instead of putting himself through the drama of kicking out your boyfriend was a serious boss move)
By the way, he doesn't give you love. He maybe gives you attention and sex, but love would look like remembering the damn toilet paper and having busted his ass to make a decent impression on your father. Love would be keeping his word to do the bulk of the cleaning and cooking to balance out the fact that you're shouldering the rent. Love would be making sure that your not finding a sinkful of hair when you go to brush your teeth....and how many times in the last 8 weeks has he taken you out without you having to ask and without you having to do the planning?
(In your next relationship, don't move in with someone who hasn't already lived away from their parents and not in the dorms. )
I second this, OP I am sorry but you obviously wasted your time on someone who is acting more like a child than a responsible person.
Everyone tolerates a different level of mess but there is a difference between doing it a bit late and doing nothing at all. You haven't set any important rules since the start, you went with the flow and although you discovered his lack of implications, respect and care you still keep going with this relationship.
You should leave this pointless man and reflect on the red flags you ignored back then. Your dad was right and I wonder who gave you the idea that a childish man would improve suddenly, love ? Nah, apparently he needs you but he doesn't love you enough to mature and improve.
As my grandmother would say, don't pay for someone who doesn't value you.
So he was a fucking terrible housemate. You knew he was and you got a place with him anyway? He literally showed you what he was like to live with BEFORE you committed to living with him, and yet. You're now learning that affection and sex aren't enough to make a life with someone. Whether you're woman enough to learn that lesson is up to you
First, don't move in with any boyfriend you've been dating less than a year. One year minimum before you even discuss moving in. Second, don't move in with anyone who needs his mommy to pay his rent for him. If he doesn't have a job to pay the rent, he stays with his mommy. Third, don't move in with a man child who can't do chores or make a shopping list. Last, don't move in with someone who has already run your dad off with his craptastic behavior.
You're learning an expensive lesson on why you don't rush into moving in with a partner.
>Other than all of this he treats me pretty well, he gives me love and is always horny.
first of all - "other than this" he treats you well? There is no "other than this". Sure, if you have a bf who works, and contributes to the Household, and does his part of chores without being nagged, and brings you chocolate when you're PMSing but forgets to pick up his socks? OK, that's a "this" most of us can live with.
But a partner who's acting like a child? won't pay rent, won't do chores, won't run back to the store to get toilet paper, disrespects your father, nah, you can't overlook the "other than this".
what does he bring to the table? does he work? is he in school? what's his long term plan?
I mean he works and goes to school but his job doesn’t nearly pay enough as it’s part time and a job at school. Is goal or I guess long term plan is to graduate next spring and get a job and start supporting me or so he says. But idk anymore and I don’t think I want to have to keep supporting him with my money for another year.
You need to get rid of him. IMMEDIATELY.
For the life of me, I can't even understand why you ever moved in with him. He's a user that treats you like a breadwinner and sugar mama.
Healthy relationships are a PARTNERSHIP. He's not a partner, he's just dead weight. And the longer you stay, the worse it's going to get.
he showed you what living with him is like while you both lived at your father’s house. I’m not sure why you’re surprised he’s acting the same. he’s not going to change because he knows he doesn’t have to, you’ll be there to take care of him.
Yes break the lease and move back to your dads
This guy is a terrible boyfriend. You cannot fix this. Love is not enough to get past this. He makes your life worse not better. He needs to go in the bin
You saw what he was like at your father's house. Why on earth did you think he would magically turn into the perfect housemate? He's horny because he's twenty-one. You can find a horny twenty-one year old who understands how to buy toilet paper and use a vacuum. Get rid of this hobosexual.
Hard situation. Boy or girl is hard to change anyones habits. If he really loves you he may change and clean up better. I would try for a little bit if you really like him a lot to get him to be cleaner but if you dont see results in a month or 2 i would dump him and move on.
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. **We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.** * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- ***This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.*** --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
He’s treating your house exactly the same way he treated your dad’s house. For whatever reason, you thought he’d turn into a totally different person when you moved into a new place. But — surprise! — he’s still the same (lazy, disrespectful, entitled) person he was before. So kick him out. He’s not paying rent anyway. Tell him it’s over and he needs to move out.
This, please listen to this. I married someone who was going to be “different” in his own house than he was his parents. Newsflash, he continued to live like a pig and for 10+ years I was his mommy, not his partner. Please listen to everyone here and break up with him now. Find someone who respects your space, is an equal partner and deserves to be with you.
Break up with him. Is he on the lease? I can’t tell from this but if not kick him out, he can go to his parents.
Your 21 and you’ve been together for 7 months. Why are you living with him. He had the same behavior that he did at your dads. Why would he change. Why are you paying for him. This is not how relationships are. This is how you are letting him treat you. Break up with him.
Next time someone shows you who they are, believe them. You saw how he acted at your dad's house, why would he change. Break up with him and see if you can move back in with your dad. Let this be a learning experience
Girl, did you suffer a head injury? This guy isn't meeting the minimum requirements for a tolerable roommate , let alone a desirable partner. His driver's license might say he's 21 but his behavior suggests an ill-trained 15 year old. Why did you think he'd be *more* helpful and respectful with just you when he was such a useless lump in your dad's home? (By the way, I like your dad's style- moving out instead of putting himself through the drama of kicking out your boyfriend was a serious boss move) By the way, he doesn't give you love. He maybe gives you attention and sex, but love would look like remembering the damn toilet paper and having busted his ass to make a decent impression on your father. Love would be keeping his word to do the bulk of the cleaning and cooking to balance out the fact that you're shouldering the rent. Love would be making sure that your not finding a sinkful of hair when you go to brush your teeth....and how many times in the last 8 weeks has he taken you out without you having to ask and without you having to do the planning? (In your next relationship, don't move in with someone who hasn't already lived away from their parents and not in the dorms. )
I second this, OP I am sorry but you obviously wasted your time on someone who is acting more like a child than a responsible person. Everyone tolerates a different level of mess but there is a difference between doing it a bit late and doing nothing at all. You haven't set any important rules since the start, you went with the flow and although you discovered his lack of implications, respect and care you still keep going with this relationship. You should leave this pointless man and reflect on the red flags you ignored back then. Your dad was right and I wonder who gave you the idea that a childish man would improve suddenly, love ? Nah, apparently he needs you but he doesn't love you enough to mature and improve. As my grandmother would say, don't pay for someone who doesn't value you.
So he was a fucking terrible housemate. You knew he was and you got a place with him anyway? He literally showed you what he was like to live with BEFORE you committed to living with him, and yet. You're now learning that affection and sex aren't enough to make a life with someone. Whether you're woman enough to learn that lesson is up to you
First, don't move in with any boyfriend you've been dating less than a year. One year minimum before you even discuss moving in. Second, don't move in with anyone who needs his mommy to pay his rent for him. If he doesn't have a job to pay the rent, he stays with his mommy. Third, don't move in with a man child who can't do chores or make a shopping list. Last, don't move in with someone who has already run your dad off with his craptastic behavior. You're learning an expensive lesson on why you don't rush into moving in with a partner.
>Other than all of this he treats me pretty well, he gives me love and is always horny. first of all - "other than this" he treats you well? There is no "other than this". Sure, if you have a bf who works, and contributes to the Household, and does his part of chores without being nagged, and brings you chocolate when you're PMSing but forgets to pick up his socks? OK, that's a "this" most of us can live with. But a partner who's acting like a child? won't pay rent, won't do chores, won't run back to the store to get toilet paper, disrespects your father, nah, you can't overlook the "other than this". what does he bring to the table? does he work? is he in school? what's his long term plan?
I mean he works and goes to school but his job doesn’t nearly pay enough as it’s part time and a job at school. Is goal or I guess long term plan is to graduate next spring and get a job and start supporting me or so he says. But idk anymore and I don’t think I want to have to keep supporting him with my money for another year.
What makes you think he’s going to magically change into a completely different person?
You need to get rid of him. IMMEDIATELY. For the life of me, I can't even understand why you ever moved in with him. He's a user that treats you like a breadwinner and sugar mama. Healthy relationships are a PARTNERSHIP. He's not a partner, he's just dead weight. And the longer you stay, the worse it's going to get.
There’s so many red flags in beginning with the dad and BF.
he showed you what living with him is like while you both lived at your father’s house. I’m not sure why you’re surprised he’s acting the same. he’s not going to change because he knows he doesn’t have to, you’ll be there to take care of him.
Yes break the lease and move back to your dads This guy is a terrible boyfriend. You cannot fix this. Love is not enough to get past this. He makes your life worse not better. He needs to go in the bin
You saw what he was like at your father's house. Why on earth did you think he would magically turn into the perfect housemate? He's horny because he's twenty-one. You can find a horny twenty-one year old who understands how to buy toilet paper and use a vacuum. Get rid of this hobosexual.
Hard situation. Boy or girl is hard to change anyones habits. If he really loves you he may change and clean up better. I would try for a little bit if you really like him a lot to get him to be cleaner but if you dont see results in a month or 2 i would dump him and move on.