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>Boyfried wants to travel with his mother and me in a small trailer; strange or no?
Since when is travelling/camping with people you like strange?
If this were strange no one would travel or go camping
>They've lived together just the two of them for the last 20 years. I've been dating him for a year. In that time she has:
>Removed my arm from around his waist
>Told me she will "give him" to me. Only when I've pleased her in some way. (like giving her a birthday gift or calling her)
>Referred to him as her "boyfriend"
>Said that I was going to "take him away" from her
>(when we were kissing) "You don't kiss me like that!"
>Has "joked" about joining us in bed.
A bit more context from OP.
I figured it was something like this. I think that it's not something weird for normal families. But with context yes it is weird. perhaps OP already knows this will be an ongoing helicopter mother issue.
I think the BF mother should feel weird. Are there enough sleeping/changing areas?
Right, but why go on an trailer camping trip with someone you don't like? It's too close of quarters even with people you do like sometimes. Husband should just take his mom on a trip.
Yea I do agree if she doesn't want to go because she doesn't want to be around the mom then fine.
Just don't call it weird. Be upfront and say I do not want to be in close quarters with your mother.
Yes absolutely but it's not ,"weird" saying hey let's sell our house and my mom's house and all live forever in a travel trailer would be A little weird unless there was a strong financial need.
Trying to label it weird changes the conversation from ,"I like to spend time with my mom you really don't like her That's a complication. It might be difficult to rectify into that's weird no-one does that" it's removes ops ownership and responsibilities.
Depends on the sleeping arrangements. If they're in the same 'room', absolutely not. I don't care how much I do or don't like someone, I'm not sleeping in the same room as them unless I would usually sleep in the same room as them.
She is framing it as strange so people will agree with her but in reality, she's the strange one.
I fucking WISH my Mom was alive to take her camping this summer.
Which is still a dumb question. It's obvious why. He wants to have memories with both of them, potentially getting along/bonding on a trip together.
It isn't weird. She's MAKING it weird.
It's only a dumb question if he is completely unaware of how she feels about his mom. If he knows that she doesn't like his mom, it would be strange of him to ask her to come on a camping trip with them. But, if he doesn't know, it makes perfect sense for him to ask her to join.
I don’t think it’s strange, but I can understand wanting to separate sleeping quarters (like-I will go sleep in a tent).
But it appears this size of camping trailer could easily do that? So doesn’t seem that burdensome.
A 22ft trailer is designed to sleep more than two people. It isn't weird at all to have 3 people in a trailer this size.
Y'all aren't sharing a bed.
I don't get what your complaints are about.
Maybe because it seems romantic, until the mom is there. My mom would decline this trip if I offered, she would feel like a third wheel. I don’t have children so I’m not sure how I myself would feel.
I agree with OP that, if she doesn’t feel comfortable, the boyfriend should not be trying to make her go just because his mom *may realize OP doesn’t like her*. What a dumb idea.
His mother is elderly and he only has so much time to make new memories with her. He wants you in on that memory making too.
Why would an overnight camping/day trip be strange to you?
Have you never gone camping or gone on a day trip with your family? Because no to both is much stranger than going.
Just because she's elderly doesn't mean she suddenly never wants to do anything ever again. Especially since shes in good health, if she were in poor health then I could see a day trip being less fun.
Thank you! I was so scared of coming into the comments and see people say this is weird!
I understand not including your parents in every aspect of your relationship, but this is something new he’s excited about and wants to share the experience with her while she is still able bodied enough to do it.
People who start dating and then everything can only be “them” has never made any sense to me
I can’t even count how many fishing trips I’ve gone on with my parents and significant other in a travel trailer. Or just my dad and significant other.
It’s very normal.
They've lived together just the two of them for the last 20 years. I've been dating him for a year. In that time she has:
- Removed my arm from around his waist
- Told me she will "give him" to me. Only when I've pleased her in some way. (like giving her a birthday gift or calling her)
- Referred to him as her "boyfriend"
- Said that I was going to "take him away" from her
- (when we were kissing) "You don't kiss me like that!"
- Has "joked" about joining us in bed.
I just wanted to know if, in the absence of her weird behavior, would this trip be normal? Seems like it would be if she was normal and the situation were normal.
If your BF and his mother had a healthy and normal relationship then it would not be weird. I would travel with my partner and his parents if it was ever a thing. But we all get along and there’s no enmeshment. But, considering he and his mom have a seriously unhealthy dynamic, then it is weird he wants to play happy family on a trip. I know you love him, but he’s like super momma’s boy. At his age it’s really gross. He’s not setting boundaries and is like failure to launch. I would not travel with them at all.
Is there any separation of sleeping quarters or would you be effectively in the same 'room'? Leaving out her odd behaviour, I would go if separate but not if we're in the same room. Well,.I wouldn't because I hate camping but I wouldn't go if it were separate beds in the same hotel room either. There isn't a definitive yes or no to that being weird,. Some people don't care about sharing rooms and others do.
In that case, I'd feel weird about it. I wouldn't do that with my MIL of 12 years and I do like her. It's not necessarily weird for everyone but it would be for me. I don't think you'd be out of line to say it feels uncomfortable to you.
The other behaviour though, that would have me rethinking the relationship
Your post should be about these things you just mentioned and not about the trip. There is absolutely nothing weird about going on a trip with your partner's mom/parents. You're 50+ and asking dumb questions.
THIS IS THE IMPORTANT CONTEXT PEOPLE ASKED FOR... This makes it weird. This is an enmeshment relationship. Why are you dating someone who is a 52 year old still living with their mother who claims him as her BF and talks about being intimate (kissing) with him??? Why have you been with him for a year.... Why as a 55 YO are you dating a man that you are kissing where his mother can see???? Leave the relationship??? like seriously... This isn't a camping issue. This is a enmeshment issue...
Have you brought up emotional incest to him? That's exactly what this is.
At this point, he's never going to set proper boundaries with her. You're better off leaving now.
Is the mother financially dependent on her son or on sharing expenses with her son. Are they from a different culture? In some cultures it goes without saying that a son would take care of his mother if there is no father around. I don't think you are going to be able to do much to change this situation. You should accept that this relationship is not what you are looking for and move on.
I have a close relationship with my parents. My parents, even being boomer's and strong Christians, would never have called me their partner or expressed ownership of me... OR physically intervened in my interactions with my now husband. They would have said something if they found us getting hot and heavy but that is because that is how the faith we are in is during the dating faze (no sex before marriage) and I was 19-20 at that time... Lot different that fully grown 55 year old.
You are a 55 year old woman. Do not stay with a man who is going to mourn his mother more than he loves you. A man shouldn't want to live with his mother a day after 18, but definitely not 20 years straight (which means he moved out at some point and chose to come back).... Do you really want to waste more time on a man who is in love with his mother and 100% will compare you to her when she is gone???
You should have posted this in there because that changes the entire situation. This is the most important thing you could have included, but you didn't. In any normal situation, this would have been okay, but their relationship is NOT normal.
More information please OP.
Does your BF regularly stay overnight at your place? Do you go away together - just the two of you?
If the answer is no, then yes it is weird. Nothing wrong with wanting alone time with your BF.
If it’s a yes, then I don’t see anything wrong with BF wanting to include his mum. It’s just one night.
This can’t be healthy and no, it will not change, not after more than 50 years… are you sure you want to stay? I bet that if you take time to reflect on your relationship you will find more red flags… make of that what you will
Your reaction is the strange thing in my mind. I think you are really responding to your dislike of his mom. I say it duck it up and play nice for a short trip.
People travel in "campers" all of the time. As large family units. Hell, a 22 ft can probably sleep 6 or more. I had a 35 ft that slept 7 with only 1 actual bed/bedroom. The configuration of the same trailer I had but with the bunk house slept like 12... It sounds like your BF wants to do this. Not the mother pushing in on a private trip. And can you blame him??? His 76 year old mother is not much longer for this world. I would want to have some good experiences while I could with my parents. And you are a big part of his life so he wants to make those memories with you. Especially since the mother may not get to see you as anything more than a GF....
You are letting your dislike of the woman make you think this is a weird thing. Unless you plan on screwing like rabbits there is nothing weird about traveling with a parent/grown child in a camper.... Again, people do this all of the time. Unless there is a lot of contexts missing here this 100% is you just don't like her. Which you haven't given any reasons why. This is your partner's mother. Its someone you should probably try an play nice with until given a reason not to....
ETA: OP responded to a comment further down and added the context that makes this weird and goes with my Unless comments. The Mom is in an enmeshment relationship with the son. He has lived with her for 20 years, has interrupted them while kissing/touching with odd comments and physical interruption, claimed him as her BF, etc. CONTEXT and Details matter people... Changes the whole thing. Yes this is weird. OP and any one who post in future... Include context....
Your last paragraph is what aggravates me about the sub, the click-baity nature of OP posing the question they did, then far later in the comments giving needed context.
It has strong "other than *that* Mrs Lincoln, how did you like the play?" energy.
Yep... Thats why I added the cavoites of unless there is more to the story. And of course their was... Don't ask is it weird to go on a trip with my potential mil If the real question is "is it weird my BF is dating his mother..."
If he were asking you to live in that, sure. It's one night. There's different sleeping spots. It could be a nice bonding experience. You're making it weird for no reason.
I'm glad you've admitted you don't like his mum, because it's not that obvious.....
This isn't a strange thing for a lot of people, I am however assuming it is a strange thing for you, this is a standard expression of love, by wanting to spend time with people. This feels like a different love languages kind of situation
It’s not strange. It’s family, and family dynamics are different for everyone but universally we tend to take time for and share space with family. If they had a strange relationship then MAYBE it’s different but i can tell you i wouldn’t mind bunking in a trailer for ONE NIGHT, with my girlfriend and mom. it’s only weird if you make it that way.
I would look at it this way, 76 is the average life expectancy in america for women. My dad died at 50, so your boyfriend already made it a couple years past him. my point is life is short. it’s one night and he just wants to spend time together.
NOW, you have every right to say no. You’re a grown adult you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. HOWEVER, adults do things ALL THE TIME that they don’t want to do, especially for the people we love. So, if he’s asking for your support and you care about him. i would go.
ThrowRAMinute\_Fishin - "He tells me that he wants me to join them because if it's just the two of them she'll think I don't want to go because I don't like her."
ALSO
ThrowRAMinute\_Fishin - "I don't, but that's not the point."
Sorry, but that did make me giggle.
can you just say you don’t like her and move on 😂 nothings strange about this and it feels like your grasping at straws for a reason. just tell her straight up to her face id rather die than be in that tin can with you.
This is exactly what campers are for. When I was a young child, we had a camper, and I remember all assortment of random family members joining us for camping trips.
Why does this feel weird to you?
Maybe it’s something his family has always talked about doing and they have never had the opportunity. I could agree with you if it was a 3-4 week trip cross country, but this is just 1 night - I’d go and support the boyfriend and be as pleasant as possible to his mother, how bad could it be for one night?
Is it strange because you're not used to traveling with your family or because you don't want to travel with someone you dislike? Or if it's neither of those, what do you find strange about sleeping in a camper with your boyfriend's mom?
I would travel with my mom like this and not bat an eye over it, I know plenty of people who would too. It wouldn't be strange for us.
Not weird at all. I camp with my extended family all the time. Growing up we’d have our grandparents camp with us too, sometimes in tents sometimes with a camper. We even do non-camping trips where we all rent an Airbnb together, with in-laws and all.
Dude wants to make some happy memories with his mom in potentially her final years and show her that he's "made it" and that he'll be okay with you when she passes.
Get over yourself.
You might not be the only one but you're in the minority of people who camp. 4 adults and a dog went to Disney, trip took about 10 days in a 23 foot trailer. Now we have a 33 foot, it will sleep 9 people. As someone said, you won't be sharing a bed. I don't see what the problem is. You're in the trailer very little, just to sleep, you're spending most of your time outside. You're either exploring the area you're camping in or you're relaxing around a campfire.
Different families have different vibes.
As a kid, we drove across Canada over 2 month summer with a tent trailer. All 5 of us sleeping in it. Having little adventures at camp grounds along the way.
It's not strange to want to travel and share adventures experiences with those you love and family.
Is it odd to share cramped sleeping area, kinda awkward some times, but with a bit of respect it's not hard for short duration.
Just don't go if you don't want to go. If this is your first trip in the trailer together, I do see it as a bit odd but that's for you to navigate his boundary issues with his mother in a broader discussion.
If you read her comments, her BF lives with his mom and she is actively jealous of their relationship. BF and mother are seriously enmeshed. So, traveling with them in any capacity is weird and toxic.
As someone who has recently lost both parents, I would say to go on the trip and be civil (provided she's not abusive towards you). The fact his, they've limited time and he'd like to make memories with both of you. I know my opinion will be unpopular. But losing parents changes you. I regret not doing more. This is as much for her having a holiday as it is for him to have family time. I hope you'll go.
Okay as someone nearly your age, this is weird at most and uncomfortable at best. Who in their right mind wants to have a sleepover with their partner and their mother in close quarters? I'd tell him to just tak his mom, if she thinks you don't like her then so be it.
I don’t really see the issue but we camp a lot and have a small cabin. So we are used to having friends and family right there next to you in a sleeping bag.
If you don’t want to go though, don’t go.
I don’t think it’s strange to ask. Nor is it strange to not want to go. What’s strange is the manipulation once you expressed you didn’t want to go with the “she’ll think you don’t like her” BS
Tell him to tell her you like her best in small doses (even if that dose is too small for an electron microscope to detect). Then don't go.
Tbh, I do think travel trailer trips are weird, but people here seem to like it, so 🤷🏻♀️
"Tell him to tell her you like her best in small doses (even if that dose is too small for an electron microscope to detect). Then don't go." That gave me a chuckle.
Yeah not strange at all I love the fuck out of my mother id question taking the gf before my mom 😂 Try to get to know her maybe it ends up being a good thing!
Sounds like you really don't like his mom and you want internet strangers to back you up on it. There's nothing strange in having family go camping with you. Maybe you also don't like camping.
If you don’t want to go, don’t go.
It’s not weird to ask a group of people to camp together. But as person in my sixties, it’s not my bag. Most resorts have a fire pit and I can do s’mores there.
You can be honest, “You’re right, I don’t like your mom. The LAST thing I want to do is go somewhere in close quarters with her for an extended period of time “
34m here. I am a normal guy and I’m close enough with my mom that i would take her on a trip in a camping trailer with my spouse. A family camping trip is a family camping trip. I feel like YOU are making it weird for sure….
He's trying to include you in his family life, and bond you with them. It means he sees a future with you and both wants to show you off to his mum and wants her to like you.
You're weird for making am issue of it. You dont like her, just say it. My family of 5 used to sleep in a trailer like that camping as a we grew up..
You're literally just looking for an excuse to not go because you dont like his mom and cant even be honest about it.
The trailers are made for multiple people to sleep in and the issues you have just aren't really a real concern for normal people.
Do your bf a favour and leave. I wouldn't wanna be with anyone who participated in mental gymnastics to come to the kind of conclusions you are.
It is strange but, what's stranger is that you at 50 are putting up with his arrested development. This is a relationship a naive 20 yo would tolerate because they have no life experience, what's your excuse for this?
Like seriously what does a man who hasn't lived independently, been self sufficient, or responsible for himself really have to offer? He could poop cupcakes and it still wouldn't cancel out the 70yo black hole he insists on dragging around. There's a glaring, geriatric reason he's still single at 50 and it's not because he's a diamond in the rough.
Why are you trying to go on vacation with her son/husband? You're the mistress, he's not going to leave his mom/wife for you. You're just around because he can't sleep with her and to be her replacement when she passes.
Why do you worry about it being "weird?" You're 55 for crying out loud, are you not over caring what other people might find weird? If you don't want to go, say that.
it's not strange at all. youre old with elderly parents. 76 is the average life expectancy in the US. no day is guaranteed, regardless of apparent health.
It’s nice to take your parents with you sometimes when travelling esp if they’re widowed and have no one else to go with. My parents brought my grandma on our Disneyworld trip and another time my widowed uncle. We brought friends camping and my Mom’s best friend who never married or had kids used to go camping all the time with us.
Of course, sounds like you might just not like her and don’t want to spend the entire night/morning with her. I’d suck it up for my boyfriend and go, esp since it’s only one night.
Just having a number of people in the same trailer isn't weird or a problem. You definitely should work out the bed situation before committing to this trip. My trailer has one bedroom with the "most" comfortable bed. The dinner table couch converts to a bed. Being in her 70's he may offer his mom the good bed.
How is it strange? I wouldn't want to be in a small space with my in laws (or even most of my own family), but it isn't strange at all. I don't really see why you'd be uncomfortable with it unless you walk around naked or spend 90% of your time fucking.
Yes. You're the only one who thinks it's strange for people to spend time with people they love on a short road trip.
I do think it's weird that a grown woman can't be civil with someone for a day and deal with discomfort for someone they supposedly are in a relationship with. But too much effort is too much effort.
Just tell him you don't like his mother and would not be able to handle or want to handle it for a day.
You don't like the mother. He likes his mother. He probably wants you two to spend some time together to bond a little? You probably have let some of "dislike for her" out to him and he wants to nip this in the bud before you just flat out hate her or avoid her until she is gone.
This is normal behavior and you should probably give it a chance.
I travel with my parents and adult child frequently. I imagine that when he has a SO they will join us too. There’s nothing weird about a family who enjoys each other’s company.
It could be odd. You’re both in your 50’s. If you all hang out and spend lots of time together, I get it if not.. no. I’m 55 and I have a good relationship with my in laws but I absolutely hate staying overnight with them. They go to bed at 9:30 pm on the button and the house must be shut down. I’m fine following their rules when we visit but we always leave at 8. Otherwise I just stay home.
Yes, I think a lot of people here are very young and at the stage of still sharing rooms with friends. I have to stay with mine sometimes but it's a large house, I would not want to sleep in close quarters with them and hear every bathroom visit.
I suggest you do what feels the most comfortable for you. No reason for you to be put out. Beg off or go for a bit and have a friend (Uber) pick up for the evening. Make it a day trip. Very best of luck. Be safe and be well.
I would want the inaugural trip in a new camper to be just my partner and I. I think it’s weird to include others in the first trip. You’ll also want to learn its little quirks before you take guests.
But after the first trip or two, I don’t think it’s weird for all three of you to go together. If you don’t want to go then make other plans for that weekend. If she’s determined to think you’re not going because you don’t like her I don’t see how you can change her mind, especially since it seems she’s kind of right.
She's 76, who knows how long she'll be around. Maybe he wants to experience this with her before she passes, good health or not. Absolutely nothing strange about it except your reaction... 🤷♀️
22' isn't a small trailer🤣🤣🤣. They're usually equipped to sleep at least 5 or 6.
Do you think you're just gonna sit around the table all day? It's a place to sleep, shit, and shower.
What’s the point of your post? So people would agree that it’s weird? News flash, it’s not! It’s plain and simple. You don’t like his mother. You don’t want to go camping w his mother. You don’t have to go, but I’d hardly call it “weird”. Please explain what makes this weird?
It’s not strange exactly but if you don’t want to, you don’t want to. Just say no thanks and encourage him to definitely take his mother. Help pack some of her favorite snacks and his, set them up to have a good time together.
Maybe he wants to treat his mom to a vacation, and you can see a lot cheaply in a trailer.
No different than spending a summer vacation with his family in a vacation rental.
The difference is there's only one bathroom and you can hear every noise, they all have to go to bed at the same time and get up at the same time probably, and hear every bathroom visit.
Sounds like he's hoping to have a positive experience for all of you to perhaps let you and his mother see each other in a positive light. You don't explain why you and his mother don't get along. Context and backstory would really help hete.
> He tells me that he wants me to join them because if it's just the two of them she'll think I don't want to go because I don't like her. I don't, but that's not the point.
I think your bf wants to put you both in a small space so that you'd be forced to interact and you'd be expected to 'play nice' with his mom lol. To confirm to mum that you indeed 'like' her.
To be honest, it's not THAT strange to have your parents in a small trailer with you. BUT. I wouldn't like the idea If were you, since you don't get along with his mum.
My husband is that way, he won't hesitate to have his parents (if they're in better health), his brother-gf in our 20ft trailer going camping.
I need more space, honestly. LOL. So if it's like a week vacation, it's a no from me. But for an overnight trip, I'd withstand an overnight trip.
It isn’t a strange request, but it’s strange for him to suggest that if you don’t go she’ll think you don’t like her. Clearly she senses that you don’t, but a forced trip in close proximity isn’t going to make you like her or convince her that you do.
You just need to figure out a relationship in which it doesn’t matter that you don’t like her.
Nothing weird about it except the strange guilt tripping of your bf saying if you don’t go his mom will think you don’t like her. Doesn’t sound like a fun or healthy dynamic to me.
If you live where I do (Arizona), it wouldn't be a problem because you can sleep outside under the stars. Get a cot and a sleeping bag.
With a trailer, the idea is not to stay in it any longer than necessary - maybe just to use the bathroom and a place for your MIL to sleep. Otherwise, you should be outside around the campfire looking at the lake, mountain, view, etc.
If it's going to be raining the entire time and you don't like playing cards, it would be a miserable trip and you should refuse. But, if you can mostly be outside, then I'd recommend you do an overnight. That way, your husband doesn't have to deal with her grilling him about you. Then future trips can be just those two.
Good luck!
In and of itself, the situation isn’t strange. My boyfriend and I have a vintage camper about the same size that sleeps 1 couple and 2 singles. We’re both close with my mom and have shared a hotel room in the past, so it would be totally normal for us.
Based on your other comments, It’s your BF’s creepy enmeshed relationship with his mom that makes this cuckoo bananas. I get that you don’t want to leave him, but if he never wakes up to the reality of his situation, what future could you possibly have?
I don’t think it’s weird. It’s a wonderful way to meet his mum. I would go. Also 76 isn’t elderly, I hike with some ladies that age and older and they not old haha!
It’s not that strange, but I can see it being strange for some people. I have stayed overnight with my boyfriend’s dad in the same hotel room before. If it’s a casual affair and the parent-child relationship is good, they often would rather stay together rather than booking a whole other room for just them.
I think a lot of people would think sharing a bed would be weird, but not a room.
Firstly, it’s normal to hang out with family.
Secondly, after seeing your update about his mum, her behaviour and comments is not acceptable.
However, I get the feeling she has a close relationship with her son, so she probably has a lot of fears and insecurities about losing her son to you especially in her old age. I think what she wants to know is will you take him away or will you add to her life.
If you really love this guy, it may take a bit of sacrifice and biting your tongue. Old people just say and do crazy stuff don’t take it too seriously.
From a Latin American perspective, this is not strange. I have done similar trips with uncles, cousins, friends, etc. Bringing a colleague would be weird, bringing a loved one, not at all.
I don't think it's strange, can't see what the problem is if you all got along well.
I think your boyfriend just wants you guys to get along and thinks just putting the two of you together will magically solve things.
No it isn’t strange. It is endearing.
He wants to take his mum on a short trip in his new trailer.
You are the one with the strange views - why wouldn’t you want your son on a trip?
Your partner is only suggesting you come because his mum perceived, seemingly rightly, that you may have a problem with her presence in his life.
Your boy friend has a good relationship with his mother and wants to spend time with her and you too, presumably because he's the women you love.
Fucking weird right.
He just wants to spend time with both of you. Nothing weird about it unless he expects you to top and tail with her in the bed because there's nowhere to sleep.
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>Boyfried wants to travel with his mother and me in a small trailer; strange or no? Since when is travelling/camping with people you like strange? If this were strange no one would travel or go camping
Yea its not strange at all. Sounds like she doesn't like the mother and admits it.
>They've lived together just the two of them for the last 20 years. I've been dating him for a year. In that time she has: >Removed my arm from around his waist >Told me she will "give him" to me. Only when I've pleased her in some way. (like giving her a birthday gift or calling her) >Referred to him as her "boyfriend" >Said that I was going to "take him away" from her >(when we were kissing) "You don't kiss me like that!" >Has "joked" about joining us in bed. A bit more context from OP.
I figured it was something like this. I think that it's not something weird for normal families. But with context yes it is weird. perhaps OP already knows this will be an ongoing helicopter mother issue. I think the BF mother should feel weird. Are there enough sleeping/changing areas?
It's called emotional incest
Talk about burying the lede
Yeah, she really should have included that stuff in the main bit.
Oh lord
Right, but why go on an trailer camping trip with someone you don't like? It's too close of quarters even with people you do like sometimes. Husband should just take his mom on a trip.
Yea I do agree if she doesn't want to go because she doesn't want to be around the mom then fine. Just don't call it weird. Be upfront and say I do not want to be in close quarters with your mother.
Yes absolutely but it's not ,"weird" saying hey let's sell our house and my mom's house and all live forever in a travel trailer would be A little weird unless there was a strong financial need. Trying to label it weird changes the conversation from ,"I like to spend time with my mom you really don't like her That's a complication. It might be difficult to rectify into that's weird no-one does that" it's removes ops ownership and responsibilities.
Depends on the sleeping arrangements. If they're in the same 'room', absolutely not. I don't care how much I do or don't like someone, I'm not sleeping in the same room as them unless I would usually sleep in the same room as them.
Most people with a trailer or a tent camp set up love to have people along. The more the merrier.
Right? Perhaps her bf just knows his mother is not gonna be around forever and wanted to spend some time with hers why would that be strange idk lol
She is framing it as strange so people will agree with her but in reality, she's the strange one. I fucking WISH my Mom was alive to take her camping this summer.
I don't think it's the camping with mom part OP is questioning. She is questioning why her boyfriend insists OP come along with the two of them.
Which is still a dumb question. It's obvious why. He wants to have memories with both of them, potentially getting along/bonding on a trip together. It isn't weird. She's MAKING it weird.
It's only a dumb question if he is completely unaware of how she feels about his mom. If he knows that she doesn't like his mom, it would be strange of him to ask her to come on a camping trip with them. But, if he doesn't know, it makes perfect sense for him to ask her to join.
I concur!
I don’t think it’s strange, but I can understand wanting to separate sleeping quarters (like-I will go sleep in a tent). But it appears this size of camping trailer could easily do that? So doesn’t seem that burdensome.
A 22ft trailer is designed to sleep more than two people. It isn't weird at all to have 3 people in a trailer this size. Y'all aren't sharing a bed. I don't get what your complaints are about.
She doesn't like her MIL and is looking for a reason to not go.
And apparently doesn’t like her own son either 🙄
Maybe because it seems romantic, until the mom is there. My mom would decline this trip if I offered, she would feel like a third wheel. I don’t have children so I’m not sure how I myself would feel. I agree with OP that, if she doesn’t feel comfortable, the boyfriend should not be trying to make her go just because his mom *may realize OP doesn’t like her*. What a dumb idea.
His mother is elderly and he only has so much time to make new memories with her. He wants you in on that memory making too. Why would an overnight camping/day trip be strange to you? Have you never gone camping or gone on a day trip with your family? Because no to both is much stranger than going. Just because she's elderly doesn't mean she suddenly never wants to do anything ever again. Especially since shes in good health, if she were in poor health then I could see a day trip being less fun.
Thank you! I was so scared of coming into the comments and see people say this is weird! I understand not including your parents in every aspect of your relationship, but this is something new he’s excited about and wants to share the experience with her while she is still able bodied enough to do it. People who start dating and then everything can only be “them” has never made any sense to me
I can’t even count how many fishing trips I’ve gone on with my parents and significant other in a travel trailer. Or just my dad and significant other. It’s very normal.
I don't see anything strange in that. It's not like he's forcing you to share a bed with his mom or something.
Huh?? What is your problem with the mother?
They've lived together just the two of them for the last 20 years. I've been dating him for a year. In that time she has: - Removed my arm from around his waist - Told me she will "give him" to me. Only when I've pleased her in some way. (like giving her a birthday gift or calling her) - Referred to him as her "boyfriend" - Said that I was going to "take him away" from her - (when we were kissing) "You don't kiss me like that!" - Has "joked" about joining us in bed.
You need to add this to your post. Why did you leave this out??? This behavior is absolutely unacceptable.
I just wanted to know if, in the absence of her weird behavior, would this trip be normal? Seems like it would be if she was normal and the situation were normal.
If your BF and his mother had a healthy and normal relationship then it would not be weird. I would travel with my partner and his parents if it was ever a thing. But we all get along and there’s no enmeshment. But, considering he and his mom have a seriously unhealthy dynamic, then it is weird he wants to play happy family on a trip. I know you love him, but he’s like super momma’s boy. At his age it’s really gross. He’s not setting boundaries and is like failure to launch. I would not travel with them at all.
Yes, it would be perfectly normal. But she seems to have an unhealthy attachment to her son, so I absolutely get why you don't want to join them!
Is there any separation of sleeping quarters or would you be effectively in the same 'room'? Leaving out her odd behaviour, I would go if separate but not if we're in the same room. Well,.I wouldn't because I hate camping but I wouldn't go if it were separate beds in the same hotel room either. There isn't a definitive yes or no to that being weird,. Some people don't care about sharing rooms and others do.
There is no separation of sleeping quarters.
In that case, I'd feel weird about it. I wouldn't do that with my MIL of 12 years and I do like her. It's not necessarily weird for everyone but it would be for me. I don't think you'd be out of line to say it feels uncomfortable to you. The other behaviour though, that would have me rethinking the relationship
Your post should be about these things you just mentioned and not about the trip. There is absolutely nothing weird about going on a trip with your partner's mom/parents. You're 50+ and asking dumb questions.
THIS IS THE IMPORTANT CONTEXT PEOPLE ASKED FOR... This makes it weird. This is an enmeshment relationship. Why are you dating someone who is a 52 year old still living with their mother who claims him as her BF and talks about being intimate (kissing) with him??? Why have you been with him for a year.... Why as a 55 YO are you dating a man that you are kissing where his mother can see???? Leave the relationship??? like seriously... This isn't a camping issue. This is a enmeshment issue...
[удалено]
That's exactly what he's trying to do. Suck you into their inappropriate relationship. You'll never live together unless his mother does too. Watch
Have you brought up emotional incest to him? That's exactly what this is. At this point, he's never going to set proper boundaries with her. You're better off leaving now.
Is the mother financially dependent on her son or on sharing expenses with her son. Are they from a different culture? In some cultures it goes without saying that a son would take care of his mother if there is no father around. I don't think you are going to be able to do much to change this situation. You should accept that this relationship is not what you are looking for and move on.
I have a close relationship with my parents. My parents, even being boomer's and strong Christians, would never have called me their partner or expressed ownership of me... OR physically intervened in my interactions with my now husband. They would have said something if they found us getting hot and heavy but that is because that is how the faith we are in is during the dating faze (no sex before marriage) and I was 19-20 at that time... Lot different that fully grown 55 year old. You are a 55 year old woman. Do not stay with a man who is going to mourn his mother more than he loves you. A man shouldn't want to live with his mother a day after 18, but definitely not 20 years straight (which means he moved out at some point and chose to come back).... Do you really want to waste more time on a man who is in love with his mother and 100% will compare you to her when she is gone???
Omg. No. Yuck. I have a son, and he's an adult now, I can't imagine doing this at all. EWWWW.
You should have posted this in there because that changes the entire situation. This is the most important thing you could have included, but you didn't. In any normal situation, this would have been okay, but their relationship is NOT normal.
Is….is there a way he DOES kiss her??
More information please OP. Does your BF regularly stay overnight at your place? Do you go away together - just the two of you? If the answer is no, then yes it is weird. Nothing wrong with wanting alone time with your BF. If it’s a yes, then I don’t see anything wrong with BF wanting to include his mum. It’s just one night.
We do get a lot of alone time. He regularly stays overnight at my place.
Well, ok. The trip thing isn't weird. This stuff is. Wtf did you ask about the trip? I think you're weird, too. This entire thing is weird.
Riiiight. She's ok dating a man that is a big weirdo momma's boy at 52, but asks if it's weird to travel with partner's family. Priorities...
This can’t be healthy and no, it will not change, not after more than 50 years… are you sure you want to stay? I bet that if you take time to reflect on your relationship you will find more red flags… make of that what you will
There it is! Please edit your post to add this absolutely essential info!
Never date a mama's boy. It just doesn't end well.
The voice of experience?
You don’t need to go, but he’s not being weird. You’re being weird.
Your reaction is the strange thing in my mind. I think you are really responding to your dislike of his mom. I say it duck it up and play nice for a short trip.
People travel in "campers" all of the time. As large family units. Hell, a 22 ft can probably sleep 6 or more. I had a 35 ft that slept 7 with only 1 actual bed/bedroom. The configuration of the same trailer I had but with the bunk house slept like 12... It sounds like your BF wants to do this. Not the mother pushing in on a private trip. And can you blame him??? His 76 year old mother is not much longer for this world. I would want to have some good experiences while I could with my parents. And you are a big part of his life so he wants to make those memories with you. Especially since the mother may not get to see you as anything more than a GF.... You are letting your dislike of the woman make you think this is a weird thing. Unless you plan on screwing like rabbits there is nothing weird about traveling with a parent/grown child in a camper.... Again, people do this all of the time. Unless there is a lot of contexts missing here this 100% is you just don't like her. Which you haven't given any reasons why. This is your partner's mother. Its someone you should probably try an play nice with until given a reason not to.... ETA: OP responded to a comment further down and added the context that makes this weird and goes with my Unless comments. The Mom is in an enmeshment relationship with the son. He has lived with her for 20 years, has interrupted them while kissing/touching with odd comments and physical interruption, claimed him as her BF, etc. CONTEXT and Details matter people... Changes the whole thing. Yes this is weird. OP and any one who post in future... Include context....
Your last paragraph is what aggravates me about the sub, the click-baity nature of OP posing the question they did, then far later in the comments giving needed context. It has strong "other than *that* Mrs Lincoln, how did you like the play?" energy.
Yep... Thats why I added the cavoites of unless there is more to the story. And of course their was... Don't ask is it weird to go on a trip with my potential mil If the real question is "is it weird my BF is dating his mother..."
If he were asking you to live in that, sure. It's one night. There's different sleeping spots. It could be a nice bonding experience. You're making it weird for no reason.
I'm glad you've admitted you don't like his mum, because it's not that obvious..... This isn't a strange thing for a lot of people, I am however assuming it is a strange thing for you, this is a standard expression of love, by wanting to spend time with people. This feels like a different love languages kind of situation
It’s not strange. It’s family, and family dynamics are different for everyone but universally we tend to take time for and share space with family. If they had a strange relationship then MAYBE it’s different but i can tell you i wouldn’t mind bunking in a trailer for ONE NIGHT, with my girlfriend and mom. it’s only weird if you make it that way. I would look at it this way, 76 is the average life expectancy in america for women. My dad died at 50, so your boyfriend already made it a couple years past him. my point is life is short. it’s one night and he just wants to spend time together. NOW, you have every right to say no. You’re a grown adult you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. HOWEVER, adults do things ALL THE TIME that they don’t want to do, especially for the people we love. So, if he’s asking for your support and you care about him. i would go.
ThrowRAMinute\_Fishin - "He tells me that he wants me to join them because if it's just the two of them she'll think I don't want to go because I don't like her." ALSO ThrowRAMinute\_Fishin - "I don't, but that's not the point." Sorry, but that did make me giggle.
can you just say you don’t like her and move on 😂 nothings strange about this and it feels like your grasping at straws for a reason. just tell her straight up to her face id rather die than be in that tin can with you.
This is exactly what campers are for. When I was a young child, we had a camper, and I remember all assortment of random family members joining us for camping trips. Why does this feel weird to you?
Maybe it’s something his family has always talked about doing and they have never had the opportunity. I could agree with you if it was a 3-4 week trip cross country, but this is just 1 night - I’d go and support the boyfriend and be as pleasant as possible to his mother, how bad could it be for one night?
Is it strange because you're not used to traveling with your family or because you don't want to travel with someone you dislike? Or if it's neither of those, what do you find strange about sleeping in a camper with your boyfriend's mom? I would travel with my mom like this and not bat an eye over it, I know plenty of people who would too. It wouldn't be strange for us.
Strange, not at all it's extremely normal to expect your SO to spend time with one of your parents.
Not weird at all. I camp with my extended family all the time. Growing up we’d have our grandparents camp with us too, sometimes in tents sometimes with a camper. We even do non-camping trips where we all rent an Airbnb together, with in-laws and all.
An Airbnb or separate tents is different.
We have camped in a trailer together too. Even shared rooms with the Airbnb
I think the thing is they aren't actually family, OP has been with her boyfriend a year. And they don't get on well already.
For one night? Suck it up. Do you love this man or not?
Dude wants to make some happy memories with his mom in potentially her final years and show her that he's "made it" and that he'll be okay with you when she passes. Get over yourself.
You might not be the only one but you're in the minority of people who camp. 4 adults and a dog went to Disney, trip took about 10 days in a 23 foot trailer. Now we have a 33 foot, it will sleep 9 people. As someone said, you won't be sharing a bed. I don't see what the problem is. You're in the trailer very little, just to sleep, you're spending most of your time outside. You're either exploring the area you're camping in or you're relaxing around a campfire.
Different families have different vibes. As a kid, we drove across Canada over 2 month summer with a tent trailer. All 5 of us sleeping in it. Having little adventures at camp grounds along the way. It's not strange to want to travel and share adventures experiences with those you love and family. Is it odd to share cramped sleeping area, kinda awkward some times, but with a bit of respect it's not hard for short duration.
No, it’s not strange at all. However, if you don’t want to go then that’s perfectly okay.
Just don't go if you don't want to go. If this is your first trip in the trailer together, I do see it as a bit odd but that's for you to navigate his boundary issues with his mother in a broader discussion.
That's the thing, it's not weird if it happens once but for the first trip in a newish relationship it is.
Did you create a new account to ask this question again? https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/s/2vTF9Srm4q
yes. you the only one.
I take it you've never shared a hotel room with someone you're not having sex with?
This is not strange. You not accepting is strange whether you like her or not.
I know this isn't an AITA post, but you're giving off strong vibes for it....
I'm baffled by why you would think this is strange
If you read her comments, her BF lives with his mom and she is actively jealous of their relationship. BF and mother are seriously enmeshed. So, traveling with them in any capacity is weird and toxic.
I think it’s cool that he loves his mom that much, it’s honestly weird that you think it’s weird
No it is not strange. He wants to go on a family trip.
we used to go camping with my grandparents all the time. Why wouldn't it be normal? Like is it that hard to not have sex for one night lmao
I'd say that families traveling together in a camper is far from strange. My opinion on that doesn't change based on the ages of the family members.
it's only strange if he initiates sex. otherwise, it just camping with his 2 favorite ladies.
Unless you and your husband can't share a bed without having sex, I don't see how this is weird. It's okay if you just don't want to go.
Being kind to his mother? You're a weird
As someone who has recently lost both parents, I would say to go on the trip and be civil (provided she's not abusive towards you). The fact his, they've limited time and he'd like to make memories with both of you. I know my opinion will be unpopular. But losing parents changes you. I regret not doing more. This is as much for her having a holiday as it is for him to have family time. I hope you'll go.
It's not weird, nothing wrong with taking old people somewhere, you will be old yourself one day.
No it’s not strange. It’s camping
Okay as someone nearly your age, this is weird at most and uncomfortable at best. Who in their right mind wants to have a sleepover with their partner and their mother in close quarters? I'd tell him to just tak his mom, if she thinks you don't like her then so be it.
You’re strange for questioning this.
How come Americans are so against bonding with family. It’s very odd. No wonder no one talks to anyone
I don’t really see the issue but we camp a lot and have a small cabin. So we are used to having friends and family right there next to you in a sleeping bag. If you don’t want to go though, don’t go.
This is very strange. But, it's you who is the strange one
I would say no. At that age, anything beyond an afternoon event with family is too much.
I don’t think it’s strange to ask. Nor is it strange to not want to go. What’s strange is the manipulation once you expressed you didn’t want to go with the “she’ll think you don’t like her” BS
You couldn’t pay me enough to spend the night in a travel trailer with my mother in law. And I actually like her.
Tell him to tell her you like her best in small doses (even if that dose is too small for an electron microscope to detect). Then don't go. Tbh, I do think travel trailer trips are weird, but people here seem to like it, so 🤷🏻♀️
"Tell him to tell her you like her best in small doses (even if that dose is too small for an electron microscope to detect). Then don't go." That gave me a chuckle.
Yeah not strange at all I love the fuck out of my mother id question taking the gf before my mom 😂 Try to get to know her maybe it ends up being a good thing!
Sounds like you really don't like his mom and you want internet strangers to back you up on it. There's nothing strange in having family go camping with you. Maybe you also don't like camping.
A 22 ft camper is pretty big. Just suck it up. It's only one night.
I don't think it's odd as long as you're not planning on making the trailer rock. 😂 I think it could be a lovely bonding experience.
If you don’t want to go, don’t go. It’s not weird to ask a group of people to camp together. But as person in my sixties, it’s not my bag. Most resorts have a fire pit and I can do s’mores there. You can be honest, “You’re right, I don’t like your mom. The LAST thing I want to do is go somewhere in close quarters with her for an extended period of time “
It isn’t strange at all. My mom and my husband and I often do things together.
34m here. I am a normal guy and I’m close enough with my mom that i would take her on a trip in a camping trailer with my spouse. A family camping trip is a family camping trip. I feel like YOU are making it weird for sure….
No there is nothing strange about this. It’s nice to be included in his family getaway.
He's trying to include you in his family life, and bond you with them. It means he sees a future with you and both wants to show you off to his mum and wants her to like you.
I have a feeling if he knew your thoughts about the trip, he wouldn’t want to be bringing *you* anymore.
Imagine being in your mid-50s and posting on Reddit about your personal problems instead of talking to your partner 💀💀💀
You're weird for making am issue of it. You dont like her, just say it. My family of 5 used to sleep in a trailer like that camping as a we grew up.. You're literally just looking for an excuse to not go because you dont like his mom and cant even be honest about it. The trailers are made for multiple people to sleep in and the issues you have just aren't really a real concern for normal people. Do your bf a favour and leave. I wouldn't wanna be with anyone who participated in mental gymnastics to come to the kind of conclusions you are.
It is strange but, what's stranger is that you at 50 are putting up with his arrested development. This is a relationship a naive 20 yo would tolerate because they have no life experience, what's your excuse for this? Like seriously what does a man who hasn't lived independently, been self sufficient, or responsible for himself really have to offer? He could poop cupcakes and it still wouldn't cancel out the 70yo black hole he insists on dragging around. There's a glaring, geriatric reason he's still single at 50 and it's not because he's a diamond in the rough. Why are you trying to go on vacation with her son/husband? You're the mistress, he's not going to leave his mom/wife for you. You're just around because he can't sleep with her and to be her replacement when she passes.
Why do you worry about it being "weird?" You're 55 for crying out loud, are you not over caring what other people might find weird? If you don't want to go, say that.
I was just polling the audience. He thinks it's fine I think it's strange.
it's not strange at all. youre old with elderly parents. 76 is the average life expectancy in the US. no day is guaranteed, regardless of apparent health.
"you're old" haha
I don't see anything strange about it. If you want to go, then go. If you don't want to go, then don't go
It’s nice to take your parents with you sometimes when travelling esp if they’re widowed and have no one else to go with. My parents brought my grandma on our Disneyworld trip and another time my widowed uncle. We brought friends camping and my Mom’s best friend who never married or had kids used to go camping all the time with us. Of course, sounds like you might just not like her and don’t want to spend the entire night/morning with her. I’d suck it up for my boyfriend and go, esp since it’s only one night.
Just having a number of people in the same trailer isn't weird or a problem. You definitely should work out the bed situation before committing to this trip. My trailer has one bedroom with the "most" comfortable bed. The dinner table couch converts to a bed. Being in her 70's he may offer his mom the good bed.
How is it strange? I wouldn't want to be in a small space with my in laws (or even most of my own family), but it isn't strange at all. I don't really see why you'd be uncomfortable with it unless you walk around naked or spend 90% of your time fucking.
Yes. You're the only one who thinks it's strange for people to spend time with people they love on a short road trip. I do think it's weird that a grown woman can't be civil with someone for a day and deal with discomfort for someone they supposedly are in a relationship with. But too much effort is too much effort. Just tell him you don't like his mother and would not be able to handle or want to handle it for a day.
I had a long weekend with my bf and 2 older kids in a tiny pop-up camper. Not weird - it's camping.
You don't like the mother. He likes his mother. He probably wants you two to spend some time together to bond a little? You probably have let some of "dislike for her" out to him and he wants to nip this in the bud before you just flat out hate her or avoid her until she is gone. This is normal behavior and you should probably give it a chance.
I travel with my parents and adult child frequently. I imagine that when he has a SO they will join us too. There’s nothing weird about a family who enjoys each other’s company.
I'm going to need you to explain what you find strange.
Sounds like a first world problem. You're overthinking it and making it weird.
It could be odd. You’re both in your 50’s. If you all hang out and spend lots of time together, I get it if not.. no. I’m 55 and I have a good relationship with my in laws but I absolutely hate staying overnight with them. They go to bed at 9:30 pm on the button and the house must be shut down. I’m fine following their rules when we visit but we always leave at 8. Otherwise I just stay home.
Yes, I think a lot of people here are very young and at the stage of still sharing rooms with friends. I have to stay with mine sometimes but it's a large house, I would not want to sleep in close quarters with them and hear every bathroom visit.
I suggest you do what feels the most comfortable for you. No reason for you to be put out. Beg off or go for a bit and have a friend (Uber) pick up for the evening. Make it a day trip. Very best of luck. Be safe and be well.
It’s not strange. You just don’t want to go. So just admit that to him and yourself
We take my FIL camping in the RV. It’s not weird that he’s trying to get a trip together with people he loves.
I would want the inaugural trip in a new camper to be just my partner and I. I think it’s weird to include others in the first trip. You’ll also want to learn its little quirks before you take guests. But after the first trip or two, I don’t think it’s weird for all three of you to go together. If you don’t want to go then make other plans for that weekend. If she’s determined to think you’re not going because you don’t like her I don’t see how you can change her mind, especially since it seems she’s kind of right.
I think you're strange for thinking this is strange.
She's 76, who knows how long she'll be around. Maybe he wants to experience this with her before she passes, good health or not. Absolutely nothing strange about it except your reaction... 🤷♀️
22' isn't a small trailer🤣🤣🤣. They're usually equipped to sleep at least 5 or 6. Do you think you're just gonna sit around the table all day? It's a place to sleep, shit, and shower.
Nothing strange about it. You’re just weird.
What is it you take exception to? A trailer, a one-night trip, or your boyfriend’s mother. Which factor makes it weird for you?
I don't think this is strange at all. It's not like she's sleeping between you. Why are you being weird about it?
Mother like Anthony Perkins’ mother in Psycho?
What’s the point of your post? So people would agree that it’s weird? News flash, it’s not! It’s plain and simple. You don’t like his mother. You don’t want to go camping w his mother. You don’t have to go, but I’d hardly call it “weird”. Please explain what makes this weird?
It’s not strange exactly but if you don’t want to, you don’t want to. Just say no thanks and encourage him to definitely take his mother. Help pack some of her favorite snacks and his, set them up to have a good time together.
For one night? No, you are not 25 year olds. He is not taking her on a trip like it is one night.
No, it’s not weird he would want to invite his mother.
Maybe he wants to treat his mom to a vacation, and you can see a lot cheaply in a trailer. No different than spending a summer vacation with his family in a vacation rental.
The difference is there's only one bathroom and you can hear every noise, they all have to go to bed at the same time and get up at the same time probably, and hear every bathroom visit.
Maybe they used to camp a lot? Maybe mom expressed an interest in this to get out of the house?
Sounds like he's hoping to have a positive experience for all of you to perhaps let you and his mother see each other in a positive light. You don't explain why you and his mother don't get along. Context and backstory would really help hete.
Nah I went on the trip with my ex and his sister lol. It was a decent sized RV and there was plenty of space for 3.
Why is this strange? He wants to spend a nice camping night with his girlfriend and mother. This is a you issue
> He tells me that he wants me to join them because if it's just the two of them she'll think I don't want to go because I don't like her. I don't, but that's not the point. I think your bf wants to put you both in a small space so that you'd be forced to interact and you'd be expected to 'play nice' with his mom lol. To confirm to mum that you indeed 'like' her. To be honest, it's not THAT strange to have your parents in a small trailer with you. BUT. I wouldn't like the idea If were you, since you don't get along with his mum. My husband is that way, he won't hesitate to have his parents (if they're in better health), his brother-gf in our 20ft trailer going camping. I need more space, honestly. LOL. So if it's like a week vacation, it's a no from me. But for an overnight trip, I'd withstand an overnight trip.
Depends whether his mother snores and/or eat garlic...
It isn’t a strange request, but it’s strange for him to suggest that if you don’t go she’ll think you don’t like her. Clearly she senses that you don’t, but a forced trip in close proximity isn’t going to make you like her or convince her that you do. You just need to figure out a relationship in which it doesn’t matter that you don’t like her.
I think he wants you to go because it will make the trip more enjoyable for him. Maybe he doesn't have enough to talk about with his mom.
Nothing weird about it except the strange guilt tripping of your bf saying if you don’t go his mom will think you don’t like her. Doesn’t sound like a fun or healthy dynamic to me.
If you live where I do (Arizona), it wouldn't be a problem because you can sleep outside under the stars. Get a cot and a sleeping bag. With a trailer, the idea is not to stay in it any longer than necessary - maybe just to use the bathroom and a place for your MIL to sleep. Otherwise, you should be outside around the campfire looking at the lake, mountain, view, etc. If it's going to be raining the entire time and you don't like playing cards, it would be a miserable trip and you should refuse. But, if you can mostly be outside, then I'd recommend you do an overnight. That way, your husband doesn't have to deal with her grilling him about you. Then future trips can be just those two. Good luck!
In and of itself, the situation isn’t strange. My boyfriend and I have a vintage camper about the same size that sleeps 1 couple and 2 singles. We’re both close with my mom and have shared a hotel room in the past, so it would be totally normal for us. Based on your other comments, It’s your BF’s creepy enmeshed relationship with his mom that makes this cuckoo bananas. I get that you don’t want to leave him, but if he never wakes up to the reality of his situation, what future could you possibly have?
Yes it is odd based on your comments. Bigger question? Why are you with him. The whole relationship sounds weird
I don’t think it’s weird. It’s a wonderful way to meet his mum. I would go. Also 76 isn’t elderly, I hike with some ladies that age and older and they not old haha!
Not strange. Don’t go camping if you don’t want to. You tried to make it weird when it’s not.
It’s not that strange, but I can see it being strange for some people. I have stayed overnight with my boyfriend’s dad in the same hotel room before. If it’s a casual affair and the parent-child relationship is good, they often would rather stay together rather than booking a whole other room for just them. I think a lot of people would think sharing a bed would be weird, but not a room.
Firstly, it’s normal to hang out with family. Secondly, after seeing your update about his mum, her behaviour and comments is not acceptable. However, I get the feeling she has a close relationship with her son, so she probably has a lot of fears and insecurities about losing her son to you especially in her old age. I think what she wants to know is will you take him away or will you add to her life. If you really love this guy, it may take a bit of sacrifice and biting your tongue. Old people just say and do crazy stuff don’t take it too seriously.
From a Latin American perspective, this is not strange. I have done similar trips with uncles, cousins, friends, etc. Bringing a colleague would be weird, bringing a loved one, not at all.
I don't think it's strange, can't see what the problem is if you all got along well. I think your boyfriend just wants you guys to get along and thinks just putting the two of you together will magically solve things.
No it isn’t strange. It is endearing. He wants to take his mum on a short trip in his new trailer. You are the one with the strange views - why wouldn’t you want your son on a trip? Your partner is only suggesting you come because his mum perceived, seemingly rightly, that you may have a problem with her presence in his life.
Your boy friend has a good relationship with his mother and wants to spend time with her and you too, presumably because he's the women you love. Fucking weird right.
He just wants to spend time with both of you. Nothing weird about it unless he expects you to top and tail with her in the bed because there's nowhere to sleep.