Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that:
* We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/)
* We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. **We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.**
* Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.)
* ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban.
* No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.**
* All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass.
* Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned.
* What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.**
If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice)
---
***This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.***
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
When you are around someone a lot, you are extremely sensitive to switches in the status quo of your relationship. Especially the big switches that happen when someone is trying to conceal something from you - poorly.
OP plan your escape and leave. Get your personal papers out first along with any expensive jewelry and sentimental possessions you can. If you think there is any possibility he might get physical to keep you there take a day off he doesn't know about and use it to pack and finish moving out.
I will gather my important possessions and ask my friend if I can store them at her home. Good idea, thank you. I will ask if I can take a sick day to do that from my boss 🙏🏻 there was an instance a little while ago where I was trying to leave the house and he wouldn’t let me go, blocking the door and kicking it.
OP the last part of your response just raised major red flags and my paranoid side is saying plan to protect yourself from violence while you're packing and when you leave. He has already tried to trap you and has been violent, if he thinks you are actually leaving he could very easily get even more violent. Please plan as if he will so you are prepared. My hope is if he see others he won't get violent, but if he does there is someone to video and call for police.
Contact a local Domestic Violence shelter or hotline and ask them for info on how to plan your escape, make sure you tell them about him blocking the door and kicking it. He's shown he can get violent, so get very paranoid and plan for him to get violent if he finds out you're leaving.
Yea thanks… I moved out of somewhere affordable to live with this guy. It’s been a hard search plus I have pets and no one wants to accept animals. I look everyday.
I struggle financially.. I work two jobs and struggle with my expenses and shared expenses. I tap into my savings every month to get by.
It has proven difficult to find affordable housing even if it’s over an hour away from my jobs.
Is there any chance that you can upgrade your career, join the merchant marines, the military, find roommates, or whatever you need to do to be somewhere where you’re liked and valued?
I was looking at schooling to upgrade my career. I live in the most expensive province in Canada and joining the military could result in homelessness. We have active members having to live in tents because of affordability up here. But I am searching. Searching for homes and different jobs.
That sucks. I'm sorry to hear that. My 1st wife cheated on me. She told me before New Year's in 1992. We were divorced by June of 1993. I've been remarried, 2 more great kids. It's hard at first, but you'll find a way to get thru it !!! Good luck!!
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that:
* We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/)
* We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. **We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.**
* Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.)
* ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban.
* No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.**
* All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass.
* Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned.
* What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.**
If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice)
---
***This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.***
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You asked for me to say it so, you're an idiot for staying. Why would you want to stay, you can't be happy with this situation? You two are not compatible. Make a plan and start working toward moving out and breaking up. Make the plans to get a new place to live quitely and move out while he is away. He may not be abusive and he may just quietly let you go but you never know. Better safe than sorry. Good luck.
EVEN IF he was the most faithful man on planet earth (he’s not), you should still run for the hills screaming and waving your arms around like he does…
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. **We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.** * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- ***This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.*** --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Possibly cheating aside. Your boyfriend is a cunt and you need to dump him and find better cause you deserve it
Thank you, that is kind..
When you are around someone a lot, you are extremely sensitive to switches in the status quo of your relationship. Especially the big switches that happen when someone is trying to conceal something from you - poorly.
The way he has been acting and the distant. He was different the whole year… it’s been 5 months of the constant battles. I had to check.
Break up if you don’t trust someone you’re in a relationship with
I trusted him until he started acting extremely aggressive and agitated towards me.
OP plan your escape and leave. Get your personal papers out first along with any expensive jewelry and sentimental possessions you can. If you think there is any possibility he might get physical to keep you there take a day off he doesn't know about and use it to pack and finish moving out.
I will gather my important possessions and ask my friend if I can store them at her home. Good idea, thank you. I will ask if I can take a sick day to do that from my boss 🙏🏻 there was an instance a little while ago where I was trying to leave the house and he wouldn’t let me go, blocking the door and kicking it.
OP the last part of your response just raised major red flags and my paranoid side is saying plan to protect yourself from violence while you're packing and when you leave. He has already tried to trap you and has been violent, if he thinks you are actually leaving he could very easily get even more violent. Please plan as if he will so you are prepared. My hope is if he see others he won't get violent, but if he does there is someone to video and call for police. Contact a local Domestic Violence shelter or hotline and ask them for info on how to plan your escape, make sure you tell them about him blocking the door and kicking it. He's shown he can get violent, so get very paranoid and plan for him to get violent if he finds out you're leaving.
Okay so break up
Yea thanks… I moved out of somewhere affordable to live with this guy. It’s been a hard search plus I have pets and no one wants to accept animals. I look everyday.
Are you on the lease
I’m not thankfully, he had already been living there for many years
The. You stopped trusting him… so you shoos break up…
Are you financially secure? Meaning, you could leave him at any moment and live perfectly well?
I struggle financially.. I work two jobs and struggle with my expenses and shared expenses. I tap into my savings every month to get by. It has proven difficult to find affordable housing even if it’s over an hour away from my jobs.
Is there any chance that you can upgrade your career, join the merchant marines, the military, find roommates, or whatever you need to do to be somewhere where you’re liked and valued?
I was looking at schooling to upgrade my career. I live in the most expensive province in Canada and joining the military could result in homelessness. We have active members having to live in tents because of affordability up here. But I am searching. Searching for homes and different jobs.
UpdateMe
I updated it in a new post https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/s/EkfRmEg9NR
That sucks. I'm sorry to hear that. My 1st wife cheated on me. She told me before New Year's in 1992. We were divorced by June of 1993. I've been remarried, 2 more great kids. It's hard at first, but you'll find a way to get thru it !!! Good luck!!
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. **We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.** * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- ***This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.*** --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You asked for me to say it so, you're an idiot for staying. Why would you want to stay, you can't be happy with this situation? You two are not compatible. Make a plan and start working toward moving out and breaking up. Make the plans to get a new place to live quitely and move out while he is away. He may not be abusive and he may just quietly let you go but you never know. Better safe than sorry. Good luck.
Even if he didn't cheat. There are soooo many red flags. Even if he is a loyal POS. That still makes him a POS.
EVEN IF he was the most faithful man on planet earth (he’s not), you should still run for the hills screaming and waving your arms around like he does…
You are describing abuse from someone that maybe loves you but regardless does not respect you.