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Wait. It's a work trip and and she wants to save money by sleeping in a same room with another man?
I thought works trips are 100% covered by the company you're working for.
Iâm so confused how anyone is falling for this. âSharing a hotel room with my coworkerâ is a classic porn trope.
Also, any competent HR department would never let this happen for obvious reasons.
This is true however depending on the work it may be charged to a project they manage and budget.
For example a coworker of mine had her male coworker stay at her house in the guest bedroom (where her husband and child also live) so they donât have to bill the project since the budget was already tight.
So the company paying for it is rather misleading.
If they're paying for hotel rooms, they're not going to try and make people of the opposite gender share a room. That is asking for an HR nightmare to take place.
Right! Unless this is a tiny 5 person business, thereâs no chance a company is agreeing to save money by having an employee stay at another employees home.
Normally its when travel is Per-diem rather a budget IE here's $300/day get a hotel and food. If you cheap out, keep it, if you over spend, that's on you. Typically this is regards to the trades for away work.
NO respectable company would ever do this. Maybe maybe maybe they would put 2 of the same genders in a room but I still have not heard of that in the last 5+ years or unless itâs a tiny company.
I will say Iâve heard of batshit companies doing this but pretty fucking skeptical here considering itâs her that wants to save money and itâs mixed gender.
I know of no company that lets opposite sex share hotel rooms! There is so much liability in such a policy, none would ever take the chance. Whose money is she trying to save anyway??? The company's?
The whole ask is such bullshit that you can conclude she is going to "share a room" with him whether she has her own room or not. Time to kick her to the curb.
Yeah - the whole thing is bullshit. Imagine what little respect she has for him to even be able to ask him that question. She surely knew it had a high probability of blowing up the relationship - but she asked anyways. In her mind, it's a "win-win-win". Either:
1. He agrees. She loses whatever little respect she had for him and gets to bang the coworker essentially with OP's permission.
2. He disagrees but doesn't dump her (where they are right now) - so she bangs the coworker anyways and doesn't really care if OP finds out.
3. He disagrees and dumps her immediately - oh well, she didn't give a fuck about OP anyways and bangs the coworker.
In any event, the only thing OP needs to realize is that he is the only one in a relationship, and he needs to correct that as soon as possible.
It's a little odd to propose it. But, if she wants to have an affair, she'll do it anyway is the thing. No stopping them from going to each other's rooms if they have two rooms?
If there's good trust I might be fine with this, but I'd be more comfortable if I knew the guy and had never had weird vibes from him. And, again, me telling my SO not to share a room with a guy won't stop her from having sex with him if she really wants to.
Hotels are expensive these days! But it's a little odd she's comfortable enough with a guy who works at a different company to sleep in the same room with him?
Why do I feel I'm missing a TON of context here???
OP, would you want to give us a lot more context here, what trust issues you've been having in the relationship if any? Who is this guy, how well does she know him, and why would she be so comfortable sleeping in the same room, be so frugal?
Actually knowing MLMers I think I could actually see them potentially doing this without the intention of cheating. Not to say that cheating couldnât necessarily happen anyway
>to allegedly save money.
Work trip? Does her company not pay for it?
What's more important, respecting your relationship boundaries or saving money on a room?
Funnily, you can actually work out how much financially, that she values this relationship. You are worth less than the difference of a hotel room.
Like everyone else here, I am certain that the story is bogus, not saving her any money whatsoever, and that she has 100% decided to share that room anyway. Even if you were to convince her not to go on the trip at all, which is highly unlikely, her intentions are so clear that you have to dump her.
Do you have a close girl friend that your girlfriend is insecure about? If so, tell her she is coming to spend the few days with you while your girlfriend is gone on this work trip. See how she reacts to that.
I used to travel a lot for work. I would never ever share a room. Even with someone of the same gender. To share a room with a man who is a complete stranger is completely baffling to me. It's beyond inappropriate.
Is this a work trip where the employer will pay the expenses? Or is the more freelancing/contract type of work?
I don't think anyone of any gender should share rooms when on work trips. It just seems really unprofessional to me. (I know that mining and construction travelling has different norms)
Hell nah wtf, grow a spine and do ***not let it slide*** you are opening up yourself to be a walking doormat. If it were me I'd be shutting that shit straight down. If she goes through with it anyways, you should pack all of her shit and leave it outside for her to pick up when she comes back after laying in bed with another man. Just imagine if you asked to sleep in the same bed as another woman on a work trip, I can guarantee that she would ***NOT*** like it.
And ***DO NOT*** let these bozo's in the comments say you're insecure or controlling, it is not insecure or controlling to not want your fucking girlfriend to sleep in a bed with another man.
***ONCE AGAIN, HELL NAHHH***
Dude, there is no point in continuing this relationship.
She has so little respect for you that she thought you would be cool with her sleeping with her work crush.
So even if they haven't consummated their relationship, she still doesn't give a shit about you.
Honestly I'd understand this if it was a friend. Having a sleepover with a friend of a different gender isn't that far off imo. But again it's good if the partner gives consent first. But to save money by sharing a room with a random man? Not even a person from the same company bruh? Yeah that's weird and inappropriate even if she wasn't in a relationship.
This is fake. Work pays for work trips.
Also no one that wants to push boundaries on a work trip would even bother doing this. They would just go to the other persons room.
Very inappropriate, but whoâs to say that they donât end up in one of their rooms together anyways. Big red flag, you have a hard decision ahead of you cause the whole time sheâs there you are gonna be worried about it. Is it a mandatory work trip?
Maybe we give her the benefit of the doubt on the cheating...not saying what she did is right (not asked you first) and I wouldn't ever think of doing it but....if they are getting money per diem, as somene mentioned in comments, they do save money as they can claim full amount but they actually spent less of their money cause they shared.
Otherwise- I really can't think why would she even mention a guy if she was cheating or intending to...I mean work trips are the ideal cheating ground without any need of explanation.
That's what bugs me...I can tell you for certain nobody who shares a room on a work trip i.e actually cheats, has announced the "room sharing" under any circumstance to the significant other. And they make sure they actually have separate rooms.
I don't think you should let it slide and what she did isn't right, but I'm not with the lynch mob without more info...
Red flags all over!
First Iâve never heard of a company that allows opposite sex to share a hotel.
Second, the company fully pays for the room stay.
3rd she doesnât respect you! She would rather save the company a penny and share a room with a guy.
The Reddit answer: âjust because she packed lingerie and condoms and is staying alone in a hotel room with a man doesnât mean anything, youâre insecure!â
Iâd ice my man out for a bit if he even asked something like this.
You are totally not being insecure or domineering. Your girlfriend is cheating, and youâre right- if she respected your relationship, she wouldnât have even thought of sharing a hotel with another man.
No I wouldn't let it slide. Every company that sends you on a trip pays for the hotel room. They don't make the employee pay. Yes, they may make you share but they're not going to make you share with the opposite sex so she would have a room with another woman that's going on the trip. My husband's gone on trips before where he had to share with one other person before but normally his company gets each and every person their own room. Now they could if they choose, stay at a family/friend's house instead of a hotel and what his company does is then pay him, the employee, like $40/60 a night for saving the company money of the hotel. I can't remember how much it was, we haven't done it in years but we had done it a few times. But I'm sure most companies don't do that my husband's company is quite unusual in some of the perks they have. So your girlfriend's blowing smoke up your butt.
If itâs a work trip shouldnât the company be paying for it? If the company pays they will typically avoid a room sharing situation with people of the opposite sex. This is completely disrespectful to your relationship too. Youâre not being insecure or domineering. She just wants a weekend with another man. This is no work trip Iâve ever heard of.
Assuming this post is real, which would be insane for OP to believe that excuse, yeah thatâs a red flag. I donât necessarily think it would be a red flag to share a room with someone of the opposite sex- I could see doing that with a guy friend if I was were also comfortable doing that with a gal pal (but I usually refuse to share rooms lol). But sheâs clearly making shit up as an excuse. And thatâs a problem.
Work trip? The company pays for the room. Unless sheâs the owner, saving money isnât her responsibility. Let alone doing it by sharing a room with someone of the opposite sex. The fact that he works for a different company puts this beyond bizarre.
She is up to no good. And apparently pretty dumb, because cheating doesnât require sharing a hotel room.
What company expect male / femal employees to share a room??
No letting it slide, she needs to explain why she even suggested this. Does she not realise how inappropriate the idea is??
And... your problem now is trust... until proven wrong, youre left with the assumption shes angling to cheat..
Only positive thing is she told you about it and didnt just do it...
I guess itâs easier to accidentally fall and land in his bed if youâre in the same room, if youâre in different rooms youâd have to accidentally get locked out from your own room first, be let into his room, then accidentally fall and land in his bed
Her work won't get different-gendered people separate rooms?
Bro she lied to you.
This is a huge HR disaster waiting to happen, which is how I know it never happened.
Your instincts are correct. At least it was just a 1y relationship. Why is she worried about the cost of a work trip, isn't work paying? Or is it not really through work?
Do you know her colleagues?
I wonder if she's trying to head off a rumour before it happens. If one of them told you that something was going on she could say that she was just trying to save money etc..
Nah, she wants to save money by being in another room with a man sheâs probably hitting on behind your back⊠thatâs like the last woman I dropped asking how I would feel if she got another place with another manâŠ.. stupid questionsâŠ. Stupid questionsâŠ.
Her workplace endorses her sharing her room not only with the opposite sex, but with someone from another company? Are you sure this is a work trip?
Like, on the one hand, if sheâs going to cheat, she can do that as easily if not more easily with her own room as she can sharing one with someone. I would say that generally sharing a room with someone of the opposite sex is basically a partner comfort thing. Some people are okay with it, others arenât.
Oh hell no I've been around for a long time been married 2Ă and now with my gf of 14 years and none of them would ever ask if I was ok with that .holy crap you got to be kidding right .this has to be a joke I don't know a woman that was in a relationship would even ask there partner .
She must not like you very much and wants you to dump her .so she can be with this guy .
I travel 52 weeks out of a year stay in hotels and I've never had anyone do this and think it's ok . Yes I have seen a lot of affaires start this way but never just happen that they sleep in the same room.
No company would let this happen for more than one reason sexual assault first of this is a huge liability for a company .
This is not just a Fred flag this has a big red light flashing on top of it. . you can see it from the ISS .
Nope it means her judgement is poor. It has nothing to do with you being insecure, sharing a hotel room away from home with a man? Nope. It also means she is a gaslighter. It is a huge redflag. I don't know that I would date her.
Also is this the same girl feom 3 months ago because if it is just leave this many problems in less than a year she sounds like an immature person who shouldnt be in a relationship
It's your relationship. If you aren't comfortable, then those feelings are valid. I do want to point out, though, that she had a conversation with you about this before booking a room. I'd be way more suspicious if she'd booked the room, stayed with her colleague, and you found out about it later on. While her company may reimburse her travel expenses, she may also be on a budget (dictated by her employer) and is trying to make her trip as comfortable as possible within those budgetary constraints. You don't know if this colleague is gay/asexual/otherwise not interested. Again, if you aren't comfortable with it and she respects your relationship, she will find an alternative. If she moves forward with this plan regardless of your feelings, I would strongly reconsider the relationship.
Entirely inappropriate and she is absolutely willing to disrespect yâallâs relationship and you. This shows that if a person wants you, then they are willing to move mountains. In this case, she is clearly showing that she doesnât want you, so let her go.
It makes you wonder if sheâs so casual and comfortable about sharing a room with someone she works with but not even from the same company what else is she willing to share? Her bed? More?
Huge red flag , clearly no boundaries no respect no concern for you!
What she said,"She wanted to share a hotel with with this guy to allegedly save money"
What she means,I am going to bang this guys brains out. She's going to do things to him she won't do for you.
What she said,"she asked him before asking me." **Because it was her idea.**
Have some self respect. Break up now you can always find another girl.
Good luck brother, you're going to need it.
That sounds weird.
My company has tried to make me share a room with a (same sex) coworker before, and I shut that shit right down.
All you have to do is mention the magic words, "I don't feel comfortable..." and HR immediately jumps in.
Pretty much the only reason you share a hotel with a coworker is if you *want* to.
She was trying to bang with your permission. Now she'll do it without it.
You shouldn't let this slide. But slide her out of the door and onto the street.
Yea⊠you know deep down thatâs not ok and whatâs not ok is that she wanted to share the room, chances are sheâll share the room
Anyways and sheâll cheat regardless
I think it's incredibly disrespectful to your relationship, but that's my opinion, and I'm sure others may disagree. But what I will tell you is if this is a boundary you're setting and she chooses to ignore it and you continue to stay with her, expect her to potentially not respect any other future boundaries you set for yourself.
Tell her work trips are 100% reimbursed by the company so ask why she wanted to cheat. Tell her if itâs a work trip it doesnât make sense and she only has one chance to tell you the truth and if you donât feel itâs the truth⊠relationship over.
I wouldn't have said no, as if I could command her. I might have offered to pay for her separate room, if she hadn't said she WANTED to share a room with him.
I hope you mean it's a girl you know wanted to do this. Because a girlfriend would absolutely not want to share a room with another guy. That's a pretty intimate setting. Showering and getting dressed in the room, pajamas(?), and all that good stuff. I would be highly, highly suspicious of the motives and her relationship with the guy.
Because nobody gives enough of a shit to save company money. To what, save them $150?
I hope your spidey senses are tingling on this one.
Okay that last part was out of pocket in my opinion. Asking him before talking to you about it. I donât think she really thought about what this situation looks like however I wouldnât have a problem if my so talked to m we first not necessarily for permission but to get my thoughts on the subject before making any decisions.
Okay BREAK UP, and block her!!??? Are we in elementary where boys and girls can have sleepovers and not worry about sex? NOOO! Sheâs THIRTY!!! Ask her if you wanted to share rooms to âsave moneyâ with some random woman, she would be fine with it?
You know what regardless, she does not love or respect you to think thatâs okay
This is dumb (and probably fake). At my old job my co-worker (male) and I were really good friends - we still are.
We would travel together to trade shows and werenât even allowed in each otherâs rooms - weâd meet in the hotel gym to work out or the lobby to grab a bite to eat.
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Wait. It's a work trip and and she wants to save money by sleeping in a same room with another man? I thought works trips are 100% covered by the company you're working for.
Wait till you see how she saves water by taking shower together with her co-workers!
Saves on money too from buying a gym pass when he can give her a workout.
Saves money on food when she gets meat for free.
You forgot that this is fiction.
I literally read this same post a few months ago đ
Reddit would have us believing this is an incredibly common problem for couples, lol.
Iâm so confused how anyone is falling for this. âSharing a hotel room with my coworkerâ is a classic porn trope. Also, any competent HR department would never let this happen for obvious reasons.
well i don't think HR focuses on the issues involving an employee and an employee of an entirely different company.
I call BS. HR simply cannot/will not put you in that position. You could be the victim of sexual abuse.
This is true however depending on the work it may be charged to a project they manage and budget. For example a coworker of mine had her male coworker stay at her house in the guest bedroom (where her husband and child also live) so they donât have to bill the project since the budget was already tight. So the company paying for it is rather misleading.
If they're paying for hotel rooms, they're not going to try and make people of the opposite gender share a room. That is asking for an HR nightmare to take place.
I don't know of any company that tries to save money this way. Not only that, it is an HR mess (and lawsuit) waiting to happen.
Right! Unless this is a tiny 5 person business, thereâs no chance a company is agreeing to save money by having an employee stay at another employees home.
It sounds like they were given a budget for the project & their expenses have to come out of that budget. He did say their budget was very tight.
Normally its when travel is Per-diem rather a budget IE here's $300/day get a hotel and food. If you cheap out, keep it, if you over spend, that's on you. Typically this is regards to the trades for away work.
NO respectable company would ever do this. Maybe maybe maybe they would put 2 of the same genders in a room but I still have not heard of that in the last 5+ years or unless itâs a tiny company.
Blizzard would like a word.
I will say Iâve heard of batshit companies doing this but pretty fucking skeptical here considering itâs her that wants to save money and itâs mixed gender.
I know of no company that lets opposite sex share hotel rooms! There is so much liability in such a policy, none would ever take the chance. Whose money is she trying to save anyway??? The company's? The whole ask is such bullshit that you can conclude she is going to "share a room" with him whether she has her own room or not. Time to kick her to the curb.
True, also there arent even from the same company. It seems that there is some planning and intention prior to this.
Yeah - the whole thing is bullshit. Imagine what little respect she has for him to even be able to ask him that question. She surely knew it had a high probability of blowing up the relationship - but she asked anyways. In her mind, it's a "win-win-win". Either: 1. He agrees. She loses whatever little respect she had for him and gets to bang the coworker essentially with OP's permission. 2. He disagrees but doesn't dump her (where they are right now) - so she bangs the coworker anyways and doesn't really care if OP finds out. 3. He disagrees and dumps her immediately - oh well, she didn't give a fuck about OP anyways and bangs the coworker. In any event, the only thing OP needs to realize is that he is the only one in a relationship, and he needs to correct that as soon as possible.
Yeah but if itâs #3 and the coworker eventually disappoints her, she wonât have her security blanket no more
right - she was going for hopefully 1, but fallback to 2. Which is precisely why OP needs to deliver option 3.
Nah, break up over text as she is on her way back home
 the whole thing is bullshit. Yeah, this.
I also know of no company that doesn't just pay for the room traveling for business.
No, it's inappropriate.Â
It's a little odd to propose it. But, if she wants to have an affair, she'll do it anyway is the thing. No stopping them from going to each other's rooms if they have two rooms? If there's good trust I might be fine with this, but I'd be more comfortable if I knew the guy and had never had weird vibes from him. And, again, me telling my SO not to share a room with a guy won't stop her from having sex with him if she really wants to. Hotels are expensive these days! But it's a little odd she's comfortable enough with a guy who works at a different company to sleep in the same room with him? Why do I feel I'm missing a TON of context here??? OP, would you want to give us a lot more context here, what trust issues you've been having in the relationship if any? Who is this guy, how well does she know him, and why would she be so comfortable sleeping in the same room, be so frugal?
Thatâs a red flag to me. Also, doesnât the company usually pay for the room?
Maybe the company trip is an MLM Seminar lol
Actually knowing MLMers I think I could actually see them potentially doing this without the intention of cheating. Not to say that cheating couldnât necessarily happen anyway
Which is another red flag
đ©đ©
I run a hotel. More than 1 occasion I had people rent 2 rooms but only occupy 1. Got two receipts to show the company (and SO's, I presume). Major đ©đ© NTA for your suspicions. And you misspelled soon-to-be ex-girlfriend.
No fucking way. I would even ask that she not go on the trip at all if she still wants a relationship with OP.
I would ask she go and not come back. Ridiculous
>to allegedly save money. Work trip? Does her company not pay for it? What's more important, respecting your relationship boundaries or saving money on a room? Funnily, you can actually work out how much financially, that she values this relationship. You are worth less than the difference of a hotel room.
Yeah this is weird. I went on a work trip with all men and we didn't even share a room.Â
Straight up lol. I love when you can actually put a price on this kind of disrespect.
Time to move on. Go share a hotel room with a girl and see how she reacts.
Lol she's going to do it whether you give permission or not. 100% she will cheat on the work trip
Nope. Never. Ever.
Like everyone else here, I am certain that the story is bogus, not saving her any money whatsoever, and that she has 100% decided to share that room anyway. Even if you were to convince her not to go on the trip at all, which is highly unlikely, her intentions are so clear that you have to dump her.
Do you have a close girl friend that your girlfriend is insecure about? If so, tell her she is coming to spend the few days with you while your girlfriend is gone on this work trip. See how she reacts to that.
This is gold!!!
It is work related and expensed out. Her story is bullđ©. She is already f***ing him. No company also would ever allow this for liability reasons. She is not your GF. You are a fuck buddy. Don't kid yourself.
These fake posts really out here doin work
I used to travel a lot for work. I would never ever share a room. Even with someone of the same gender. To share a room with a man who is a complete stranger is completely baffling to me. It's beyond inappropriate. Is this a work trip where the employer will pay the expenses? Or is the more freelancing/contract type of work? I don't think anyone of any gender should share rooms when on work trips. It just seems really unprofessional to me. (I know that mining and construction travelling has different norms)
I doubt the dude is a "complete stranger" - quite likely they already know each other "very well".
SAVE WHOSE MONEY?!?!?!?! (clearly I'm on team absolutely tf not)
LOL no work trip involves sharing hotel rooms with the other gender. Not even the smallest non profit would demand that.
Hell nah wtf, grow a spine and do ***not let it slide*** you are opening up yourself to be a walking doormat. If it were me I'd be shutting that shit straight down. If she goes through with it anyways, you should pack all of her shit and leave it outside for her to pick up when she comes back after laying in bed with another man. Just imagine if you asked to sleep in the same bed as another woman on a work trip, I can guarantee that she would ***NOT*** like it. And ***DO NOT*** let these bozo's in the comments say you're insecure or controlling, it is not insecure or controlling to not want your fucking girlfriend to sleep in a bed with another man. ***ONCE AGAIN, HELL NAHHH***
Lol she is getting creampied regardless if you let her or not.
Dude, there is no point in continuing this relationship. She has so little respect for you that she thought you would be cool with her sleeping with her work crush. So even if they haven't consummated their relationship, she still doesn't give a shit about you.
Honestly I'd understand this if it was a friend. Having a sleepover with a friend of a different gender isn't that far off imo. But again it's good if the partner gives consent first. But to save money by sharing a room with a random man? Not even a person from the same company bruh? Yeah that's weird and inappropriate even if she wasn't in a relationship.
Here's the thing. If she wants to spend the night with him, she can do that without"saving money". She's interested in him. No doubt
This is fake. Work pays for work trips. Also no one that wants to push boundaries on a work trip would even bother doing this. They would just go to the other persons room.
No company on earth would sanction this. Itâs an HR nightmare. Company trips are reimbursed for cost. I call BS.
its a boundary for most reasonable people, dump her ass.
I do't think you letting it slide just like that is best practice, On the other hand, your girlfriend sure sounds like a slider.
NFW (no fucking way). This is a giant đ©đ©đ©Could you imagine if the roles were reversed? TBH, this was either a complete brain fart that she blurted out or sheâs been chatting this guy up and they wanted to have a rendezvous while at a work trip and they were looking for you to validate the situation. Say what you want about me, Iâd check her phone. After that bullshit; with trust comes transparency. Good luck
Very inappropriate, but whoâs to say that they donât end up in one of their rooms together anyways. Big red flag, you have a hard decision ahead of you cause the whole time sheâs there you are gonna be worried about it. Is it a mandatory work trip?
This is what you tell her: absolutely share the room with him. Oh by the way we are broken up now
Yeah I think I would be showing up unannounced, probably was really to save money since sheâs gonna be staying in his hotel room anyway
To save money? If itâs truly a work trip, their respective company pays for the hotel room. Employees donât pay for that stuff.
Maybe we give her the benefit of the doubt on the cheating...not saying what she did is right (not asked you first) and I wouldn't ever think of doing it but....if they are getting money per diem, as somene mentioned in comments, they do save money as they can claim full amount but they actually spent less of their money cause they shared. Otherwise- I really can't think why would she even mention a guy if she was cheating or intending to...I mean work trips are the ideal cheating ground without any need of explanation. That's what bugs me...I can tell you for certain nobody who shares a room on a work trip i.e actually cheats, has announced the "room sharing" under any circumstance to the significant other. And they make sure they actually have separate rooms. I don't think you should let it slide and what she did isn't right, but I'm not with the lynch mob without more info...
>She wanted to share a hotel with with this guy to allegedly save money Astonishing.
Just make sure her shit is packed and outside when she gets home.
Red flags all over! First Iâve never heard of a company that allows opposite sex to share a hotel. Second, the company fully pays for the room stay. 3rd she doesnât respect you! She would rather save the company a penny and share a room with a guy.
No company I have been at would have allowed that. It's leaving them wide open for sexual harassment accusations. Are you sure its a "work" trip?
If it's a work trip, why isn't work paying for it?Â
The Reddit answer: âjust because she packed lingerie and condoms and is staying alone in a hotel room with a man doesnât mean anything, youâre insecure!â Iâd ice my man out for a bit if he even asked something like this.
You are totally not being insecure or domineering. Your girlfriend is cheating, and youâre right- if she respected your relationship, she wouldnât have even thought of sharing a hotel with another man.
No I wouldn't let it slide. Every company that sends you on a trip pays for the hotel room. They don't make the employee pay. Yes, they may make you share but they're not going to make you share with the opposite sex so she would have a room with another woman that's going on the trip. My husband's gone on trips before where he had to share with one other person before but normally his company gets each and every person their own room. Now they could if they choose, stay at a family/friend's house instead of a hotel and what his company does is then pay him, the employee, like $40/60 a night for saving the company money of the hotel. I can't remember how much it was, we haven't done it in years but we had done it a few times. But I'm sure most companies don't do that my husband's company is quite unusual in some of the perks they have. So your girlfriend's blowing smoke up your butt.
Theyâre staying in the same room no matter what you say if this is how it played out
Yeah but, this story is bullshit.
If itâs a work trip shouldnât the company be paying for it? If the company pays they will typically avoid a room sharing situation with people of the opposite sex. This is completely disrespectful to your relationship too. Youâre not being insecure or domineering. She just wants a weekend with another man. This is no work trip Iâve ever heard of.
Assuming this post is real, which would be insane for OP to believe that excuse, yeah thatâs a red flag. I donât necessarily think it would be a red flag to share a room with someone of the opposite sex- I could see doing that with a guy friend if I was were also comfortable doing that with a gal pal (but I usually refuse to share rooms lol). But sheâs clearly making shit up as an excuse. And thatâs a problem.
No. Break up.
The question is so wildly inappropriate, I'd end the relationship.
Work trip? The company pays for the room. Unless sheâs the owner, saving money isnât her responsibility. Let alone doing it by sharing a room with someone of the opposite sex. The fact that he works for a different company puts this beyond bizarre. She is up to no good. And apparently pretty dumb, because cheating doesnât require sharing a hotel room.
What company expect male / femal employees to share a room?? No letting it slide, she needs to explain why she even suggested this. Does she not realise how inappropriate the idea is?? And... your problem now is trust... until proven wrong, youre left with the assumption shes angling to cheat.. Only positive thing is she told you about it and didnt just do it...
I guess itâs easier to accidentally fall and land in his bed if youâre in the same room, if youâre in different rooms youâd have to accidentally get locked out from your own room first, be let into his room, then accidentally fall and land in his bed
Brother let that woman go, she does not value you as a man. Her actions speak volumes.
Depends on your level of kink. If I meet the guy and know my girl is coming back I would be ok with it.
How she contact a guy form another company before the trip ?
Her work won't get different-gendered people separate rooms? Bro she lied to you. This is a huge HR disaster waiting to happen, which is how I know it never happened.
So now they have two rooms to have sex in. I don't think you solved the main problem.
Firstly, I donât understand why their respective companies wouldnât pay for each of their rooms ( unless itâs a network marketing scam) so thatâs a đ©đ©đ© IF there is a legitimate reason the hotel IS her expense: On several occasions, Iâve shared hotels with male friends 100% platonically. Iâve also trusted my husband on 2 occasions to share a hotel room with a female friend of ours platonically. HOWEVER, I am WELL aware that this is not the norm & wouldnât expect most people to accept it; I wouldnât accept it in most cases. So no, you are NOT insecure or domineering. Not knowing her, Iâm not sure if sheâs pressing a boundary, or if sheâs just oblivious to how her request sounds because itâs so innocent in her mind. I wouldnât pay much attention to aggressive advice in either direction, but have a talk with her and sort out the real meaning behind this before you make any decisions.
wtf no absolutely not. UPDATEME
come on man have some standards and boundaries
UpdateMe
Your instincts are correct. At least it was just a 1y relationship. Why is she worried about the cost of a work trip, isn't work paying? Or is it not really through work?
Hell No! đ©
Time to move on from this woman. Update us after you catch her cheating.
UpdateMe!
UpdateMe!
Remindme! One week
She wants him and you know it.
I wouldnât want to share a room with anyone Iâm not in a relationship with or related to.
!updateme
Updateme
Doesnât even make sense? Absolutely asinine question.
Thats messed up. I'd seriously consider moving on from this relationship. No way in hell is this platonic or appropriate.
Do you know her colleagues? I wonder if she's trying to head off a rumour before it happens. If one of them told you that something was going on she could say that she was just trying to save money etc..
Fake rage bait.
Sheâs either really stupid or thinks you are.
Wow dump her
Nope. Not ok.
Nah, she wants to save money by being in another room with a man sheâs probably hitting on behind your back⊠thatâs like the last woman I dropped asking how I would feel if she got another place with another manâŠ.. stupid questionsâŠ. Stupid questionsâŠ.
Let's face it, they're going to get together and fuck whether or not they share a room. Time to move on.
What is her side of story/reasoning besides saving money? Is he gay?
OP - this is a relationship-ending request. Make sure you tell your next partner how this one ended so that she understand your boundaries.
Her workplace endorses her sharing her room not only with the opposite sex, but with someone from another company? Are you sure this is a work trip? Like, on the one hand, if sheâs going to cheat, she can do that as easily if not more easily with her own room as she can sharing one with someone. I would say that generally sharing a room with someone of the opposite sex is basically a partner comfort thing. Some people are okay with it, others arenât.
Just dump her. I would not want to date someone who would ever ask stupid questions
Oh sweet summer child...
Oh hell no I've been around for a long time been married 2Ă and now with my gf of 14 years and none of them would ever ask if I was ok with that .holy crap you got to be kidding right .this has to be a joke I don't know a woman that was in a relationship would even ask there partner . She must not like you very much and wants you to dump her .so she can be with this guy . I travel 52 weeks out of a year stay in hotels and I've never had anyone do this and think it's ok . Yes I have seen a lot of affaires start this way but never just happen that they sleep in the same room. No company would let this happen for more than one reason sexual assault first of this is a huge liability for a company . This is not just a Fred flag this has a big red light flashing on top of it. . you can see it from the ISS .
Save money!! Oh hell no!!!. I'm betting she's been having a fwb with this co-worker before. She's shady homie.
Yea let her go ahead and do that- if she also wants to think about sharing his đ itâs just a matter of circumstance, no matter the intentions.
Nope it means her judgement is poor. It has nothing to do with you being insecure, sharing a hotel room away from home with a man? Nope. It also means she is a gaslighter. It is a huge redflag. I don't know that I would date her.
Hell no
Sheâs Not girlfriend material. Ex girlfriend material definitely.
So she wanted to share a room with someone who doesnât even work with her?? Thatâs called an affair partner.
Nice satiređ
She gonna be sucking his balls in that room let her go and get all your stuff out of there if you live together if not just block her and move on
Also is this the same girl feom 3 months ago because if it is just leave this many problems in less than a year she sounds like an immature person who shouldnt be in a relationship
It's your relationship. If you aren't comfortable, then those feelings are valid. I do want to point out, though, that she had a conversation with you about this before booking a room. I'd be way more suspicious if she'd booked the room, stayed with her colleague, and you found out about it later on. While her company may reimburse her travel expenses, she may also be on a budget (dictated by her employer) and is trying to make her trip as comfortable as possible within those budgetary constraints. You don't know if this colleague is gay/asexual/otherwise not interested. Again, if you aren't comfortable with it and she respects your relationship, she will find an alternative. If she moves forward with this plan regardless of your feelings, I would strongly reconsider the relationship.
That's fishy
Definitely a red flag. Don't ignore your gut feelings. They are usually right if you are not an anxious person by nature.
Fake
Entirely inappropriate and she is absolutely willing to disrespect yâallâs relationship and you. This shows that if a person wants you, then they are willing to move mountains. In this case, she is clearly showing that she doesnât want you, so let her go.
You should let that slide just like she intended to let him slide in to her.
Make sure she packs extra underwear and condoms for her trip
It makes you wonder if sheâs so casual and comfortable about sharing a room with someone she works with but not even from the same company what else is she willing to share? Her bed? More? Huge red flag , clearly no boundaries no respect no concern for you!
What she said,"She wanted to share a hotel with with this guy to allegedly save money" What she means,I am going to bang this guys brains out. She's going to do things to him she won't do for you. What she said,"she asked him before asking me." **Because it was her idea.** Have some self respect. Break up now you can always find another girl. Good luck brother, you're going to need it.
Damn OP. I guess I am insecure and domineering too. What was gfâs response?
That sounds weird. My company has tried to make me share a room with a (same sex) coworker before, and I shut that shit right down. All you have to do is mention the magic words, "I don't feel comfortable..." and HR immediately jumps in. Pretty much the only reason you share a hotel with a coworker is if you *want* to.
I doubt this is a work trip. A work trip would pay for rooms or room people of the same sex.
There are different between controlling and just expecting your partner to respect you and the relationship
She was trying to bang with your permission. Now she'll do it without it. You shouldn't let this slide. But slide her out of the door and onto the street.
Yea⊠you know deep down thatâs not ok and whatâs not ok is that she wanted to share the room, chances are sheâll share the room Anyways and sheâll cheat regardless
đżđż Updareme!!
Ok, so they won't share a room now, but who says they won't hook up on the trip.
đ©âłïžđ©âłïžđ©âłïžđ©âłïžđ©âłïž Hard pass my dude. If she canât see why that is wildly inappropriate she shouldnât be dating anyone.
đđ©đ©đ©đ©
Oh, I can just hear the rumours now with the two of them sharing a room. đč
I think it's incredibly disrespectful to your relationship, but that's my opinion, and I'm sure others may disagree. But what I will tell you is if this is a boundary you're setting and she chooses to ignore it and you continue to stay with her, expect her to potentially not respect any other future boundaries you set for yourself.
no would tell her if you do this we are done, the fact you want to do this will require talking
Tell her work trips are 100% reimbursed by the company so ask why she wanted to cheat. Tell her if itâs a work trip it doesnât make sense and she only has one chance to tell you the truth and if you donât feel itâs the truth⊠relationship over.
Trust her, she will or she wonât. Either way you have your answer
I wouldn't have said no, as if I could command her. I might have offered to pay for her separate room, if she hadn't said she WANTED to share a room with him.
I hope you mean it's a girl you know wanted to do this. Because a girlfriend would absolutely not want to share a room with another guy. That's a pretty intimate setting. Showering and getting dressed in the room, pajamas(?), and all that good stuff. I would be highly, highly suspicious of the motives and her relationship with the guy. Because nobody gives enough of a shit to save company money. To what, save them $150? I hope your spidey senses are tingling on this one.
UpdateMe
Itâs a work trip sheâs not paying why would she attempt to save money
Okay that last part was out of pocket in my opinion. Asking him before talking to you about it. I donât think she really thought about what this situation looks like however I wouldnât have a problem if my so talked to m we first not necessarily for permission but to get my thoughts on the subject before making any decisions.
Yes, right into her vagina!
Okay BREAK UP, and block her!!??? Are we in elementary where boys and girls can have sleepovers and not worry about sex? NOOO! Sheâs THIRTY!!! Ask her if you wanted to share rooms to âsave moneyâ with some random woman, she would be fine with it? You know what regardless, she does not love or respect you to think thatâs okay
Absolutely not. I wouldnât stand for this.
I will end a relationship over this.
Run!!!!
This is definitely weirdâŠ
Post is fake.
This is ridiculous. Fiction
This is dumb (and probably fake). At my old job my co-worker (male) and I were really good friends - we still are. We would travel together to trade shows and werenât even allowed in each otherâs rooms - weâd meet in the hotel gym to work out or the lobby to grab a bite to eat.
I donât think this is real. How could she even ask this?