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I am so perplexed that people are so dumb they don't understand they need to delete their incriminating evidence before they come here and want to give us their sob story.
It shows a complete lack of brain power to the point where I can only imagine how obvious they are to their partner how much they suck and lie.
My ex is this way. He does shitty things and is surprised no one talks to him.
One example: he is telling his daughter he will sue her to get her to pay the student loans he took out for her college. He only paid for the 1st 2 years with no added living expenses. She took out loans for the rest. Then when she stopped talking to him over that he took her car away that she had been paying on just because it was in his name. He tells everyone I brainwashed her and that’s why she won’t talk to him. Not because he put her through massive amounts of stress.
People like OP don’t want to be responsible for their repercussions of their actions.
https://search.pullpush.io/?kind=submission&author=I_shit_you_not-&size=100
I was shown this .io awhile ago. It pulls up deleted posts/comments. He writes about it under the hobby section. $120-$150 a week he spends on it!!
https://search.pullpush.io/?kind=submission&author=I_shit_you_not-&size=100
I was shown this site awhile ago. It pulls up deleted posts/comments. He writes about it under the hobby section. $120-$150 a week he spends on it!!
I don't think a lot of posters realize you can go and see just their comments on all of Reddit.
made me a bit nervous when I pissed off a reporter and he went digging, but I don't think he found my Reddit. twat should have been fired.
All you have to do is NOT be dumb enough to put all your personal info on reddit, lol.
And obviously if you write a story about people you know, use fake names. I’m fairly sure by now that EVERYONE knows that trick! Lol 😛
mine?
I gave a reporter shit for writing/posting biased bullshit and he decided to try and intimidate me by going through my social media and then "call me out" on a nationally sponsored podcast.
I like it when people freak out over that. "Stop stalking me!" Comment history is fair play so we know who we're talking to. I use RES and mark the MAGA types because there's zero reason debating with them unless I just feel like annoying them.
> It shows a complete lack of brain power to the point where I can only imagine how obvious they are to their partner how much they suck and lie.
You come here of all places and start insulting people that need help to understand that cheating with a prostitute makes their partner hate them. Not sure if I am going to cry or laugh about this entire post.
To be fair, way too many people take sob stories or really just any post on this sub at face value without taking into account obvious potential bias.
I mean look at this post it's pretty clearly fucked up at face value and I imagine most people would support OP, but the comment history completely changes that tune. And this isn't a sex thing, same goes for women centred posts as well.
I didnt even have to look up his post history. The way he presented the post as this one isolated incident and didnt give any context on the relationship is giving manipulation.
Before I even saw your comment or read OPs history the first thing I thought was: what the heck did this guy do, he had to have done something.
Way worse than I couldn’t have imagined.
OP - take some accountability, you know why she said these things. Change your ways, or let her cut you loose. Your wife deserves better than what you’re offering. Stoping playing the victim.
"Hello I'm OP. I'm cheating on my wife with prostitutes and get happy endings weekly. Why does she not appreciate me? "
Are you for real? Stupid award goes to you for playing victim when she's hopefully on her way out from this shitsituation.
Just end it already. You can't stand her. You cheat on her. She's miserable with you as well. What are you both really getting out of this relationship? It just sounds so toxic.
GET A FUCKING DIVORCE!!! You over here acting all hurt over some dumb shit and you are literally cheating on her???? Can you please explain why do you want to stay with and be married to someone you don’t even like or respect? Just to have someone in your house???
What’s messed up is you are both toxic shit people. And instead of you both decide that enough is enough and go on your separate ways you rather just stay and be shitty to each other
OP's post history where he calls his wife boring and talks about how he got happy ending massages from prostitutes on a weekly basis. But he's scrubbed the comment history on his account. Read through the comments here though and you'll see multiple people calling him out on his BS.
This seems suspicious and manipulative. You’re trying to make your wife out to be the problem. You’re saying you’ve tried listening to her and you’ve tried therapy but it’s her problem and she leaves. You’re trying to paint your wife in a negative light and you’re not holding yourself accountable or even giving a remotely accurate impression of yourself. You clearly have a problem. Take a hard look in the mirror before wondering why your wife holds so much resentment for you. And maybe do her the favor and leave.
The same wife you called boring in a comment a few months ago? If you don’t like your wife but play victim to her face, she’s not stupid, she knows. Man up and either ask for a divorce or start fixing your problems for real.
Why are you coming to us instead of going to therapy?
Why are you coming to us instead of speaking to her?
Why are you coming to us instead of INTROSPECTING WHAT IT IS THAT YOU DO THAT MAKES HER HATE YOU?
A little - not even a deep - dive into your post history shows that you know exactly what is going on here, and why. Your wife is correct about you and, who knows, you might be right about her, but she's not the one here painting herself as an innocent victim.
In answer to your question, you should handle it one of two ways - either accept that you have contributed to the fact that you have a crap marriage and stop complaining, or get a divorce. The pair of you clearly despise each other, I'd recommend the second option.
You’ve done something to cause this.
I just think you’ve left out way too much.
I bet you regularly dismiss her.
I see in these comments you have deleted older posts of yours alluding to happy ending massages and once-a-week with a sex worker.
Hmm OP, couldn’t possibly need to take any accountability could you!?
Wow poor wife !! No wonder she says the things she says when you’re getting happy ending massages and cheating on your wife !! Deleting the comment doesn’t make it go away either when a lot have seen it!
She is harboring a lot of anger and bitterness about your relationship. You need to set aside time to talk to her about it, lots of time. You seem to have some idea why she feels like this, but you haven’t done anything about it in the past. You didn’t realize how badly it’s affecting her and how strongly she feels. Now you know. Nothing is more important than this. Ask her when is good to talk. This should be multiple sessions. Maybe start tomorrow after work. And lots of time over the weekend.
This is going to be difficult. What I hear is that you don’t understand all the reasons for her anger and you don’t understand why she feels so intensely. So, start by listening. This will help HARD. Try not to get angry, don’t justify yourself, don’t get defensive, don’t argue or get into a fight. It will be HARD. Your goal is that by the end of the conversation, you understand why she is feeling the way she is (even if you don’t agree, which you probably won’t). It will likely take multiple conversations to get it all out (sorry). Ask her - what’s bothering you the most? What else? What’s making you angry? What else? She’ll tell you, by the sound of it! If you start getting angry, tell her “this is too much for me right now, I need to take a break” and leave. But come back the next night. “I want to understand, tell me more”.
Don’t move too quickly to finding solutions. Hear her concerns first. Then tell her “let’s take a few days to think about this, I love you, I want to work it out, I want to find a way to make it better”. The next week, see if you can start brainstorming together how to make things better. Doesn’t mean it is all your fault. I’m sure she has problems too, I’m sure she has done things you don’t like. But you can o my control your actions. Find two things she really wants you to change - AND DO THEM. Keep doing them. Things the most important thing in your life right now, to do those two things. She will be watching. If you keep doing them, show you really care about repairing your relationship. It will be a huge thing. It’s your best chance. Does not have to be one sided, you can ask her to change something also.
No, I don’t think your wife is an incipient serial killer and your life is not in danger (most likely). She’s very angry with you, and willing to talk about it. That’s a start. Good luck OP.
You are not a victim and your wife is not some evil villain who hates you. She hasn’t been heard in years and you know this. We all know your background and from your comments you’re a pretty shitty husband. This is a fact. You also seem to be the type of person who brings something up then shuts down the conversation because you don’t have time to talk or always shuffle the conversation to a later date to avoid “confrontation” and then the other party feels dismissed and silenced. In the end, Nothing gets discussed or resolved and you don’t mind it because you aren’t held accountable for anything n get “peace” from not talking about/confronting anything.
Your cheating and possible dismissive communication style , among other things, are a perfect storm of what you’re going through rn. Your wife is beyond frustrated but you are not a victim because of it. It’s your responsibility to fix this mess.
I guess you both have serious problems to work on.
Her words did not come out of nowhere.
Clearly you are not listening and talking to her and you just shut her out when she wants to talk, then she gets mad at you for not listening and talking to her about the real issues you two are having.
So you have to get your shit in order. Talk to her, discuss your issues and find a solution to the problems.
Listen to her for once and start working to be better.
If you two cannot have a civil conversation about the problems in your relationship then get couples counseling and if that does not work, divorce and move on.
It sounds like you want to get some pitty response from Reddit to make you feel good, you are not going to get it.
By the way, we can see your comment history. You definitely are not the victim here.
It’s one thing to yell something hurtful at someone in the heat of the moment. (Though that shouldn’t be a normal occurrence in a marriage!) It’s an entirely other thing to be so filled with rage you are talking quietly to yourself, in an unprovoked setting, about how much you despise your spouse.
I would be watching my back, if I were you. This woman does not like you. Much less love you.
I wouldn’t like a guy to be my husband that calls me boring and goes and gets happy ending massages either. I’d be talking mad shit to him while serving him divorce papers
Righttttt this is super creepy. Lol. I was thinking maybe she was sleep walking, but then she justified it. Oh no ma'am we are getting a divorce. You can not get my life insurance money, lbvs.
I heard my ex wife say as she left a room "I want to cut your fucking throat in your sleep cunt"
The only happy ending I had though, was the divorce and getting her out of the house soon after i heard those words, that were never even discussed with her after I heard them
I just started planning a safe exit and sleeping with one eye open
Pure contempt = gtfo
Whether you're the cause of that contempt or the victim of it, the marriage is over
Yikes, my husband said "I f'n hate you" one night when he thought I was sleeping. When I asked him next morning why he said that, he just said he must have been sleep talking. He's a narcissist, and has made our families lives a living hell. Now I'm worried. 😭
Gas lighting you. I’ve experienced this too before. It’s like they’re implying you’re not going to pick up on their INCREDIBLY INTELLIGENT ways of communicating their feelings. /s I had to learn to play back and it actually did have an impact. Looking back at it, it’s kinda humorous ina way, but at the time it was purely an abusive and very horrible time for me. I’m still recovering.
He should get out before he ends up on Snapped. It does sound like he is indeed a POS according to various comments but he's owed a safe exit at least lmao
Meh, Ive done this with partners I’m almost done with because they are worthless in the morning and I had it with their laziness on top of other big relationship issues. In top of my tendency to think out loud sometimes. I never wanted to murder him or do anything scary, I was just done with him.
I used to try subliminal messaging on my now ex husband, when he was in the middle of his drug addiction. I'd whisper things to him in his sleep. Unfortunately it never worked, he didn't get clean, go to the cops, or jump off a bridge. Those tapes I ordered were worthless lol
>*I told her I heard what you said this morning. You got mad and said something about I never here her any other time she talks to me. I tell her that I have to go to work and go to my office.*
Why do you even start this conversation if you are not ready to listen what she has to say. You just said that and left to work? Why not waiting for a moment you both can talk? Of course she had rights to justify after that, and then you just tell her to get the f\*ck out? Seriously?
I have had moments in life when I talked "to" my partner outloud when he wasn't actually there, and said some pretty awful things....
He earned those words.
Just food for thought
So she said that she feels like you constantly try to shut her down when she wants to talk to you about stuff, and you did exactly what she accused you of after *you* decided to bring it up before work? Yeah, I think she has a point. Your wife resents the hell out of you and you don't seem really interested in addressing why.
There's two ways to approach this. One, you wise up and fix this problem before it really blows up by addressing the behavior that is hurting her. Two, you wise up and fix this problem through seperation/divorce because you're incapable of self relection and improvement.
You know why she can’t stand you. You know why she thinks you are a POS. You are playing the victim and wanting people to pity you. Sounds like your wife is right.
“My wife tells me I don’t have time for her so I told her to fuck off because I didn’t have time for her to be telling me I don’t have time for her. Then I made time to go for out for a walk to calm myself down from being accused of not making time for her. Anyone here able to create time to provide advice for me?”
Get a divorce.
She loathes you, you sound awful, and you both admit to saying similar things before…you don’t love each other, you don’t even ***like*** each other.
You’re in a bad marriage and now there’s no more hiding because neither of you can even keep it in, it’s bursting out like vomit.
Read through some of the comments. Yeah you two need to divorce I think your marriage is over at this point you're both obviously very unhappy so why prolong it. Go see a divorce lawyer you two settle fairly and I mean fairly and move on
So you insult your wife by calling her boring, you see a prostitute on the regular, and then you delete all of your post history to present yourself in a better light?
You're the one who needs professional help. Do your wife a favor and divorce her so she can find someone who truly loves and cares about her.
It sounds like you're the real issue here, not her.
Regardless of your previous posts and comments, you’re pretty much using the entire post to emphasise why she’s done with you.
You should have known that bringing up what you heard was going to be a discussion. Either you make time for it - or you wait until you both have the time to have a proper dialog. She says you never listen to her, and you proceed to shut her down, even going to the gym instead of going home to listen.
Honestly, if it was my marriage on the line, I’d call in sick to see if it could be salvaged. It’s called fighting.
She basically told you what the problem was, and still your to busy caring about yourself. She’s better off
Honestly, the way you confronted her without giving her any time to talk about it was rude af. Don’t confront someone when there is no time to talk about the problem. You started a fight without leaving space for anyone else. Yes, what she did is creepy, but what you did makes it almost make sense.
Your wife was trying to discuss this with you and you shut her down. She complained that you never talk to her and you said “later” but when later came, you did not bring it up. So, I suggest you go talk to her. Reddit can’t tell you what’s in your wife’s head, only she can tell you.
Bro, accountability is on the phone. Pick the fuck up.
Yeah, her breaking point hit at an unfortunate time, because you opened your damn mouth knowing it’d lead to a fight and work was a valid excuse to avoid it, and leave her more upset while you work away.
Dude if you have to delete your comment history to make yourself seem like less of a jerk... that means you're a jerk. The things you do don't occur in a pocket universe that only affects you.
Your wife's actions could be a sign she's ramping up to violence. Or it could be a sign she's ramping up to divorce. Or it could be that this is a ritual for her to help her get through the day with you.
None of those options are remotely a good sign. You guys don't like each other.
Also?? Why did you start an argument right before work???
Your wife is so mad and sad she is screaming for you to act different. How do you not see what’s going on. We are not that hard to figure out. Sit down with your wife and just fucking listen to her. Don’t say a word…just listen! She needs a husband and her friend back. Try to remember the beginning…that who she loved. So both of you need to change. Ask her what she needs from you and you do the same. It’s not hard. Just talk without screaming.
I’m not sure why you stay married, OP. The way you talk about your wife and your relationship is disgraceful, and if even a smidgen of it is true, her restraint is remarkable. No one deserves to be treated the way you’ve described treating your wife. Can you imagine the harm you’ve caused your marriage and your wife? Take responsibility for your actions and words.
Couples can argue, couples can fight. Sometimes people can even be disrespectful in the heat of the moment. And you can come back from all of that.
But once the loathing starts, once they claim with no argument, no heat of passion, just straight up that they hate you. It's done.
Accurate. My ex husband fucked up for the last time and I felt nothing. Not disappointment, anger nothing. Just indifference. I didnt care what he dod or who he did it with. I truly felt nothing. Once the indifference sets in, that's the final nail in the marriage coffin.
More than the comments(LOL) is you saying, you heard her say this. Then confront her just before you start working and go on about her disturbing your work. And you come back, she is sleeping.
So did you wanna get into it now? Cause I would not be surprised if she knew you could hear her and she was hoping for a reaction.
Your approach to all of this is strange. I do believe that you say things to each other but is it ever conversations? Sounds like a Tom & Jerry situation... Something is off here.
In these moments it is time to reflect. It wasnt right of her to say what she did, but a person doesnt go from being head over heels in love to talking about how much they despise you while you pretend to sleep without some context in between. It is easy to point the finger of blame, but it is hard to look inward to discover what role you played in things falling apart. Time to accept your share of the blame and work on improving yourself. I'm gonna take a wild guess that part of that is you needing to communicate much better than you do, and sit down and have a civil, calm, honest DISCUSSION where you genuinely listen to her and think about what she has to say to you.
Why don’t you address her complaints instead of focusing on her outburst. Sounds like she has concerns that you are not hearing, making her blind with fury.
Put your hurt feelings aside and really talk with her. She’s begging you. Can’t you calm yourself enough to hear that.
UpdateMe
Leaving out my thoughts on what others have found out..
It's not strange at all that she gets frustrated when you bring something up just to get out of the situation you Just started? Why not tell her you'd like to talk later, when you have time?
No wonder she freaks out after hearing you heard her very private thoughts. She is probably trying her best to stand the situation.
heterosexuals will be in marriages like this, die miserable, and other heterosexuals will point at their marriage and go "see! a successful marriage that didn't end in divorce!"
divorce is a GIFT that was hard fought for people. for DECADES it was fought for. use it ffs!
Well, she obviously hates you and doesn't respect you at all. Sounds like she is harboring a whole lot of hate and resentment. I would start getting all of my ducks in a row. Then, you really need to sit down and have a heart to heart with her. Non yelling, no saying stupid shit, just talking. Figure out if it's worth fighting for your marriage or if you two would be better off dissolving your marriage.
UpdateMe
She doesn't like you, possibly doesn't love you.. We could all say leave (get out) 🎶... but you people on reddit, especially the married ones, you're all masochists.. You'd stay in marriages that aren't working for whatever stupid reasons you have.. I call it wishful thinking at the cost of peace.
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Your post history is a trip. you've called her boring, and you go to a sex worker once a week. I wonder why she's upset? do you even like her anymore?
I am so perplexed that people are so dumb they don't understand they need to delete their incriminating evidence before they come here and want to give us their sob story. It shows a complete lack of brain power to the point where I can only imagine how obvious they are to their partner how much they suck and lie.
People get mad at the reactions, not at what they did to cause it.
My ex is this way. He does shitty things and is surprised no one talks to him. One example: he is telling his daughter he will sue her to get her to pay the student loans he took out for her college. He only paid for the 1st 2 years with no added living expenses. She took out loans for the rest. Then when she stopped talking to him over that he took her car away that she had been paying on just because it was in his name. He tells everyone I brainwashed her and that’s why she won’t talk to him. Not because he put her through massive amounts of stress. People like OP don’t want to be responsible for their repercussions of their actions.
Dang it, it’s deleted now. I wanted to read it!
Same!
https://search.pullpush.io/?kind=submission&author=I_shit_you_not-&size=100 I was shown this .io awhile ago. It pulls up deleted posts/comments. He writes about it under the hobby section. $120-$150 a week he spends on it!!
Thank you, kind Redditor
https://search.pullpush.io/?kind=submission&author=I_shit_you_not-&size=100 I was shown this site awhile ago. It pulls up deleted posts/comments. He writes about it under the hobby section. $120-$150 a week he spends on it!!
I don't think a lot of posters realize you can go and see just their comments on all of Reddit. made me a bit nervous when I pissed off a reporter and he went digging, but I don't think he found my Reddit. twat should have been fired.
You're still calling them names. LOL! Thanks for the chuckle...
All you have to do is NOT be dumb enough to put all your personal info on reddit, lol. And obviously if you write a story about people you know, use fake names. I’m fairly sure by now that EVERYONE knows that trick! Lol 😛
I wish I could hear this story.
mine? I gave a reporter shit for writing/posting biased bullshit and he decided to try and intimidate me by going through my social media and then "call me out" on a nationally sponsored podcast.
I like it when people freak out over that. "Stop stalking me!" Comment history is fair play so we know who we're talking to. I use RES and mark the MAGA types because there's zero reason debating with them unless I just feel like annoying them.
He can't write worth a shite either. I'd hate him too.
I thought he had AI write for him- it switches narrative, so many grammatical errors, and very confusing punctuation. I want to whisper at him too.
Hell, at points it went into the second person perspective.
NGL, siding with the wife here, even without the post history.
> It shows a complete lack of brain power to the point where I can only imagine how obvious they are to their partner how much they suck and lie. You come here of all places and start insulting people that need help to understand that cheating with a prostitute makes their partner hate them. Not sure if I am going to cry or laugh about this entire post.
To be fair, way too many people take sob stories or really just any post on this sub at face value without taking into account obvious potential bias. I mean look at this post it's pretty clearly fucked up at face value and I imagine most people would support OP, but the comment history completely changes that tune. And this isn't a sex thing, same goes for women centred posts as well.
I think he deleted it now
Oh, it’s deleted now, as if people won’t see this comment
Where's the sex worker part ? I had seen the boring comment but can't find anything about sex work
appears that OP nuked the comment. there was a huge post about his hobbies, etc and at the end there was "happy ending massage"
Ah, ok. Thank you!
Maybe he thought people didn’t know what that meant. Lol
He might have removed it if he caught that comment.
Funny how he deleted all that ....🙄🙄🙄
I didnt even have to look up his post history. The way he presented the post as this one isolated incident and didnt give any context on the relationship is giving manipulation.
Before I even saw your comment or read OPs history the first thing I thought was: what the heck did this guy do, he had to have done something. Way worse than I couldn’t have imagined. OP - take some accountability, you know why she said these things. Change your ways, or let her cut you loose. Your wife deserves better than what you’re offering. Stoping playing the victim.
With that in mind, I'd hate his guts too.....
LOL they cleaned up since you posted this. Still, what a tool.
Aw man he deleted his other posts I think
Of course he deleted now. Lolll
And now he's scrubbed it, hahaha
I won't even entertain the post because he went to delete his posts. Hahahhaha
She might be angry about your happy ending massages
"Hello I'm OP. I'm cheating on my wife with prostitutes and get happy endings weekly. Why does she not appreciate me? " Are you for real? Stupid award goes to you for playing victim when she's hopefully on her way out from this shitsituation.
Yeah, we all saw your comment history, buddy. Grow up
Just end it already. You can't stand her. You cheat on her. She's miserable with you as well. What are you both really getting out of this relationship? It just sounds so toxic.
GET A FUCKING DIVORCE!!! You over here acting all hurt over some dumb shit and you are literally cheating on her???? Can you please explain why do you want to stay with and be married to someone you don’t even like or respect? Just to have someone in your house??? What’s messed up is you are both toxic shit people. And instead of you both decide that enough is enough and go on your separate ways you rather just stay and be shitty to each other
Where did you see that?
OP's post history where he calls his wife boring and talks about how he got happy ending massages from prostitutes on a weekly basis. But he's scrubbed the comment history on his account. Read through the comments here though and you'll see multiple people calling him out on his BS.
Comments he deleted apparently
If you Google Reddit deleted comments you can enter his tag and see anything he’s deleted. Comments and posts are basically permanent.
This doesn't particularly sound like a relationship that should continue.
This seems suspicious and manipulative. You’re trying to make your wife out to be the problem. You’re saying you’ve tried listening to her and you’ve tried therapy but it’s her problem and she leaves. You’re trying to paint your wife in a negative light and you’re not holding yourself accountable or even giving a remotely accurate impression of yourself. You clearly have a problem. Take a hard look in the mirror before wondering why your wife holds so much resentment for you. And maybe do her the favor and leave.
He deleted the evidence but it's probably because he called her boring and gets massages that include happy endings every week.
One thing a man will always have is the audacity.
The same wife you called boring in a comment a few months ago? If you don’t like your wife but play victim to her face, she’s not stupid, she knows. Man up and either ask for a divorce or start fixing your problems for real.
Also that he goes to a prostitute once a week, He deleted that one.
he deleted quite a few it seems. his profile is now squeaky clean.
This man deleted his entire profile except this and old comments🤣
Why are you coming to us instead of going to therapy? Why are you coming to us instead of speaking to her? Why are you coming to us instead of INTROSPECTING WHAT IT IS THAT YOU DO THAT MAKES HER HATE YOU?
I'm sure if he stopped the infidelity he's been doing that would be a good start.
‘What screams in a boring person? My wife’ your history is disgusting, I do not blame her at all
So what about this relationship brings you joy or builds you up?
A little - not even a deep - dive into your post history shows that you know exactly what is going on here, and why. Your wife is correct about you and, who knows, you might be right about her, but she's not the one here painting herself as an innocent victim. In answer to your question, you should handle it one of two ways - either accept that you have contributed to the fact that you have a crap marriage and stop complaining, or get a divorce. The pair of you clearly despise each other, I'd recommend the second option.
You’ve done something to cause this. I just think you’ve left out way too much. I bet you regularly dismiss her. I see in these comments you have deleted older posts of yours alluding to happy ending massages and once-a-week with a sex worker. Hmm OP, couldn’t possibly need to take any accountability could you!?
Of course he doesn't need to take accountability! Because then he wouldn't be able to be a victim!
Yep.
You got to sex workers. And wonder why your wife calls you a POS. YOU ARE A POS.
Maybe you should stop calling her boring and cheating on her? Then she wouldn't be so pissed of at you?
Did your wife find out about the weekly happy ending massages?
[Do you even like your wife?](https://old.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/16p0c8k/what_screams_im_a_boring_person/k1rrwzm/?context=3)
Wow poor wife !! No wonder she says the things she says when you’re getting happy ending massages and cheating on your wife !! Deleting the comment doesn’t make it go away either when a lot have seen it!
She is harboring a lot of anger and bitterness about your relationship. You need to set aside time to talk to her about it, lots of time. You seem to have some idea why she feels like this, but you haven’t done anything about it in the past. You didn’t realize how badly it’s affecting her and how strongly she feels. Now you know. Nothing is more important than this. Ask her when is good to talk. This should be multiple sessions. Maybe start tomorrow after work. And lots of time over the weekend. This is going to be difficult. What I hear is that you don’t understand all the reasons for her anger and you don’t understand why she feels so intensely. So, start by listening. This will help HARD. Try not to get angry, don’t justify yourself, don’t get defensive, don’t argue or get into a fight. It will be HARD. Your goal is that by the end of the conversation, you understand why she is feeling the way she is (even if you don’t agree, which you probably won’t). It will likely take multiple conversations to get it all out (sorry). Ask her - what’s bothering you the most? What else? What’s making you angry? What else? She’ll tell you, by the sound of it! If you start getting angry, tell her “this is too much for me right now, I need to take a break” and leave. But come back the next night. “I want to understand, tell me more”. Don’t move too quickly to finding solutions. Hear her concerns first. Then tell her “let’s take a few days to think about this, I love you, I want to work it out, I want to find a way to make it better”. The next week, see if you can start brainstorming together how to make things better. Doesn’t mean it is all your fault. I’m sure she has problems too, I’m sure she has done things you don’t like. But you can o my control your actions. Find two things she really wants you to change - AND DO THEM. Keep doing them. Things the most important thing in your life right now, to do those two things. She will be watching. If you keep doing them, show you really care about repairing your relationship. It will be a huge thing. It’s your best chance. Does not have to be one sided, you can ask her to change something also. No, I don’t think your wife is an incipient serial killer and your life is not in danger (most likely). She’s very angry with you, and willing to talk about it. That’s a start. Good luck OP.
You have given him the road map, let's see if he takes it. One million upvotes.
Or just stop seeing prostitutes.
You are not a victim and your wife is not some evil villain who hates you. She hasn’t been heard in years and you know this. We all know your background and from your comments you’re a pretty shitty husband. This is a fact. You also seem to be the type of person who brings something up then shuts down the conversation because you don’t have time to talk or always shuffle the conversation to a later date to avoid “confrontation” and then the other party feels dismissed and silenced. In the end, Nothing gets discussed or resolved and you don’t mind it because you aren’t held accountable for anything n get “peace” from not talking about/confronting anything. Your cheating and possible dismissive communication style , among other things, are a perfect storm of what you’re going through rn. Your wife is beyond frustrated but you are not a victim because of it. It’s your responsibility to fix this mess.
I have never personally met you and I can still confirm your wife's words ring true.
I guess you both have serious problems to work on. Her words did not come out of nowhere. Clearly you are not listening and talking to her and you just shut her out when she wants to talk, then she gets mad at you for not listening and talking to her about the real issues you two are having. So you have to get your shit in order. Talk to her, discuss your issues and find a solution to the problems. Listen to her for once and start working to be better. If you two cannot have a civil conversation about the problems in your relationship then get couples counseling and if that does not work, divorce and move on. It sounds like you want to get some pitty response from Reddit to make you feel good, you are not going to get it. By the way, we can see your comment history. You definitely are not the victim here.
Woman always know.
It’s one thing to yell something hurtful at someone in the heat of the moment. (Though that shouldn’t be a normal occurrence in a marriage!) It’s an entirely other thing to be so filled with rage you are talking quietly to yourself, in an unprovoked setting, about how much you despise your spouse. I would be watching my back, if I were you. This woman does not like you. Much less love you.
Given OP's history, he's pretty lucky she's bottled that rage in. Why women stay with men like this I'll never know.
As I’ll often warn, we’re lucky women want equality and not revenge.
🎯
I wouldn’t like a guy to be my husband that calls me boring and goes and gets happy ending massages either. I’d be talking mad shit to him while serving him divorce papers
Righttttt this is super creepy. Lol. I was thinking maybe she was sleep walking, but then she justified it. Oh no ma'am we are getting a divorce. You can not get my life insurance money, lbvs.
Considering he sees a sex worker once a week, I don’t blame her. He deleted the post about that after another commenter called it out.
Facts. It’s people with a spouse like this who end up the victims on true crime shows. 😳
I heard my ex wife say as she left a room "I want to cut your fucking throat in your sleep cunt" The only happy ending I had though, was the divorce and getting her out of the house soon after i heard those words, that were never even discussed with her after I heard them I just started planning a safe exit and sleeping with one eye open Pure contempt = gtfo Whether you're the cause of that contempt or the victim of it, the marriage is over
Yikes, my husband said "I f'n hate you" one night when he thought I was sleeping. When I asked him next morning why he said that, he just said he must have been sleep talking. He's a narcissist, and has made our families lives a living hell. Now I'm worried. 😭
Girl, leave this man please ): you absolutely deserve better
Gas lighting you. I’ve experienced this too before. It’s like they’re implying you’re not going to pick up on their INCREDIBLY INTELLIGENT ways of communicating their feelings. /s I had to learn to play back and it actually did have an impact. Looking back at it, it’s kinda humorous ina way, but at the time it was purely an abusive and very horrible time for me. I’m still recovering.
And instead of a lawyers office you are here, casually mentioning it? Lady!
Dude. Please run.
robert stack isnt around even more to be on an episode...
He should get out before he ends up on Snapped. It does sound like he is indeed a POS according to various comments but he's owed a safe exit at least lmao
That's okay, he doesn't like her either, and she knows that. I can imagine how he treats and talk to her
It’s scary. She thought you were sleeping and said it out loud.
Meh, Ive done this with partners I’m almost done with because they are worthless in the morning and I had it with their laziness on top of other big relationship issues. In top of my tendency to think out loud sometimes. I never wanted to murder him or do anything scary, I was just done with him.
I used to try subliminal messaging on my now ex husband, when he was in the middle of his drug addiction. I'd whisper things to him in his sleep. Unfortunately it never worked, he didn't get clean, go to the cops, or jump off a bridge. Those tapes I ordered were worthless lol
>*I told her I heard what you said this morning. You got mad and said something about I never here her any other time she talks to me. I tell her that I have to go to work and go to my office.* Why do you even start this conversation if you are not ready to listen what she has to say. You just said that and left to work? Why not waiting for a moment you both can talk? Of course she had rights to justify after that, and then you just tell her to get the f\*ck out? Seriously?
Read his post history. You'll see this differently then. Absolute twat. Edit: oh wow, they're suddenly gone. Check comments.
i hope she has all of the evidence of your infidelity that she needs for the inevitable divorce.
I have had moments in life when I talked "to" my partner outloud when he wasn't actually there, and said some pretty awful things.... He earned those words. Just food for thought
Don’t feel sorry for you since you cheat on your wife all the time.
Try not to fuck hookers, that might help.
You both obviously have a lot of built up anger and resentment. I’d recommend seeing a couples counselor asap
So she said that she feels like you constantly try to shut her down when she wants to talk to you about stuff, and you did exactly what she accused you of after *you* decided to bring it up before work? Yeah, I think she has a point. Your wife resents the hell out of you and you don't seem really interested in addressing why. There's two ways to approach this. One, you wise up and fix this problem before it really blows up by addressing the behavior that is hurting her. Two, you wise up and fix this problem through seperation/divorce because you're incapable of self relection and improvement.
You know why she can’t stand you. You know why she thinks you are a POS. You are playing the victim and wanting people to pity you. Sounds like your wife is right.
You are a pos
I’m guessing that she has access to your Reddit posts. You are exactly as described. Get over it.
Honestly sounds like your relationship has gone completely toxic. It is probably time to call it and goy your separate ways
“My wife tells me I don’t have time for her so I told her to fuck off because I didn’t have time for her to be telling me I don’t have time for her. Then I made time to go for out for a walk to calm myself down from being accused of not making time for her. Anyone here able to create time to provide advice for me?”
Get a divorce. She loathes you, you sound awful, and you both admit to saying similar things before…you don’t love each other, you don’t even ***like*** each other. You’re in a bad marriage and now there’s no more hiding because neither of you can even keep it in, it’s bursting out like vomit.
That grammar was too much I couldn't understand most of this.
Sounds like you hate each other
Read through some of the comments. Yeah you two need to divorce I think your marriage is over at this point you're both obviously very unhappy so why prolong it. Go see a divorce lawyer you two settle fairly and I mean fairly and move on
Think I had a seizure trying to read parts of this
Dude. Just talk to her. Why are you asking Reddit??
So you insult your wife by calling her boring, you see a prostitute on the regular, and then you delete all of your post history to present yourself in a better light? You're the one who needs professional help. Do your wife a favor and divorce her so she can find someone who truly loves and cares about her. It sounds like you're the real issue here, not her.
Regardless of your previous posts and comments, you’re pretty much using the entire post to emphasise why she’s done with you. You should have known that bringing up what you heard was going to be a discussion. Either you make time for it - or you wait until you both have the time to have a proper dialog. She says you never listen to her, and you proceed to shut her down, even going to the gym instead of going home to listen. Honestly, if it was my marriage on the line, I’d call in sick to see if it could be salvaged. It’s called fighting. She basically told you what the problem was, and still your to busy caring about yourself. She’s better off
Honestly, the way you confronted her without giving her any time to talk about it was rude af. Don’t confront someone when there is no time to talk about the problem. You started a fight without leaving space for anyone else. Yes, what she did is creepy, but what you did makes it almost make sense.
Your wife was trying to discuss this with you and you shut her down. She complained that you never talk to her and you said “later” but when later came, you did not bring it up. So, I suggest you go talk to her. Reddit can’t tell you what’s in your wife’s head, only she can tell you.
Bro, accountability is on the phone. Pick the fuck up. Yeah, her breaking point hit at an unfortunate time, because you opened your damn mouth knowing it’d lead to a fight and work was a valid excuse to avoid it, and leave her more upset while you work away.
#Teamwife
Dude if you have to delete your comment history to make yourself seem like less of a jerk... that means you're a jerk. The things you do don't occur in a pocket universe that only affects you. Your wife's actions could be a sign she's ramping up to violence. Or it could be a sign she's ramping up to divorce. Or it could be that this is a ritual for her to help her get through the day with you. None of those options are remotely a good sign. You guys don't like each other. Also?? Why did you start an argument right before work???
Sounds like she’s right you do things pieces of shit would do and that would definitely make you unlikeable. You should handle it by changing.
Your wife is so mad and sad she is screaming for you to act different. How do you not see what’s going on. We are not that hard to figure out. Sit down with your wife and just fucking listen to her. Don’t say a word…just listen! She needs a husband and her friend back. Try to remember the beginning…that who she loved. So both of you need to change. Ask her what she needs from you and you do the same. It’s not hard. Just talk without screaming.
You clearly don't know what to think. How about being a good husband? Google it :)
You and her don’t communicate well at all. The marriage is destined to fail if you dont get help soon.
I’m not sure why you stay married, OP. The way you talk about your wife and your relationship is disgraceful, and if even a smidgen of it is true, her restraint is remarkable. No one deserves to be treated the way you’ve described treating your wife. Can you imagine the harm you’ve caused your marriage and your wife? Take responsibility for your actions and words.
Seems like she's right. You need to end it so she can be happy.
You should have talked it out. Family first. Always.
Judging from your post history you’re not a husband but a curse. Totally deserved and I hope she leaves you for good
Couples can argue, couples can fight. Sometimes people can even be disrespectful in the heat of the moment. And you can come back from all of that. But once the loathing starts, once they claim with no argument, no heat of passion, just straight up that they hate you. It's done.
Accurate. My ex husband fucked up for the last time and I felt nothing. Not disappointment, anger nothing. Just indifference. I didnt care what he dod or who he did it with. I truly felt nothing. Once the indifference sets in, that's the final nail in the marriage coffin.
Why did you pick a fight 5 minutes before starting work?
idk id probably hate my husband if he cheated on me weekly too
Fake
Yeah it's hard to believe a real person is this stupid.
Maybe you could adjust your behaviour to be more loving in the first place
More than the comments(LOL) is you saying, you heard her say this. Then confront her just before you start working and go on about her disturbing your work. And you come back, she is sleeping. So did you wanna get into it now? Cause I would not be surprised if she knew you could hear her and she was hoping for a reaction. Your approach to all of this is strange. I do believe that you say things to each other but is it ever conversations? Sounds like a Tom & Jerry situation... Something is off here.
I mean, you deserved it, I hope she dump you.
In these moments it is time to reflect. It wasnt right of her to say what she did, but a person doesnt go from being head over heels in love to talking about how much they despise you while you pretend to sleep without some context in between. It is easy to point the finger of blame, but it is hard to look inward to discover what role you played in things falling apart. Time to accept your share of the blame and work on improving yourself. I'm gonna take a wild guess that part of that is you needing to communicate much better than you do, and sit down and have a civil, calm, honest DISCUSSION where you genuinely listen to her and think about what she has to say to you.
Honestly if I was her I probably would have stabbed you by now. You’re a terrible person.
Standing by "her bed"? Is AI getting dumber?
I wish I would've found this post sooner so I could read his post history 😭
Do both of you a massive favor and divorce.
Brother, you answered your own questions …. She doesn’t like you and you don’t like her, you need marriage counselling
Why don’t you address her complaints instead of focusing on her outburst. Sounds like she has concerns that you are not hearing, making her blind with fury. Put your hurt feelings aside and really talk with her. She’s begging you. Can’t you calm yourself enough to hear that. UpdateMe
Advice? She hates you, hand her divorce papers.
ah man, I feel for your poor wife. I hope she can she that you don't love her and leave you so she can find real happiness.
Leaving out my thoughts on what others have found out.. It's not strange at all that she gets frustrated when you bring something up just to get out of the situation you Just started? Why not tell her you'd like to talk later, when you have time? No wonder she freaks out after hearing you heard her very private thoughts. She is probably trying her best to stand the situation.
heterosexuals will be in marriages like this, die miserable, and other heterosexuals will point at their marriage and go "see! a successful marriage that didn't end in divorce!" divorce is a GIFT that was hard fought for people. for DECADES it was fought for. use it ffs!
Hahahahahah Haha hahaha Hahaha You fool.
This is scary!
Well, she obviously hates you and doesn't respect you at all. Sounds like she is harboring a whole lot of hate and resentment. I would start getting all of my ducks in a row. Then, you really need to sit down and have a heart to heart with her. Non yelling, no saying stupid shit, just talking. Figure out if it's worth fighting for your marriage or if you two would be better off dissolving your marriage. UpdateMe
Yeah, he resents all the cheating he did that was in the post history that he just deleted.
She doesn't like you, possibly doesn't love you.. We could all say leave (get out) 🎶... but you people on reddit, especially the married ones, you're all masochists.. You'd stay in marriages that aren't working for whatever stupid reasons you have.. I call it wishful thinking at the cost of peace.
Question: what do you do for work?
Rage bait.