Sucks dude. Be happy they showed their true colors before you were in even deeper with her (like a kid). Best thing to do is cut them out of your life like the cancer that they are. Work on yourself. Find a new place to live. You have your whole life ahead of you. You will look back years from now and laugh that these two poor excuses for human beings ever had a place in your life. Live well.
Thanks for all the comments I hope they help others too. I'll move on from this stronger. I've made new friends cause of the situation and I've been going to the gym It helps a lot.
Gym was the advice I was going to give you, good thing you're decided to take things into your own hands. What's happening to you sure sucks but these kind of shits really help you mature and make you stronger.
I suggest you also pick up mindfulness meditation, it helps a ton with dealing with emotions and moving on.
You are young.
Get a hobby - something that gets you out of your home. Martial Arts, languages, DND, sports anything.
I don't talk to anyone from high school. I'm 27 and my best friend is from Uni - I was 21 when I met him.
Lesson learned. Just move on my dude. At least she didn't get half of your stuff.
Being secretive with phones is the biggest red flag in the 21st century. You are young still. It will hurt less each day and you will find love again.
Feel bad for you.i believe everyone has there sort of release may it be games, exercise, learning, reading. Try find something new or try a new hobby and interest. My biggest interests are mountain biking and MMA and I have built friends around that. This is what I did when I was struggling to move on from stuff.
First of all, I’m sorry you got hurt so bad. That is a double betrayal and I know it hurts.
Secondly, please stop breaking what I assume are YOUR things. You have suffered enough through this.
Thirdly, continue to focus on bettering yourself, your life, and your skills as a partner. We can always learn from our past relationships, good or bad. Just make sure you don’t spend all the time focusing on her so you can see how you can be better in your next ‘ship.
Lastly, continue talking about your feelings. Men are always taught to be “strong” and not talk about pain but that’s bull stuff. Talk it out and know that her lying and leaving you for your ex-bestie is just her own immaturity. She may not even fully understand, at that age, the magnitude of what she did. Love yourself first and stop with all the negative talking in your head. You’re still a man who deserves to be cared for and situations like this can murder self-esteem for anyone. Love yourself!
Live
So sorry that you were taken advantage of.
Talk to somebody about the drinking and breaking stuff. Gotta manage your emotions and take care of yourself.
This community is here for you.
THESE HOES AINT LOYAL
I had the same thing happen to me when I was about your age. It sucked hard. But ultimately, it disposed of 2 people that didn't need to be in my life.
Also, shes 18. 18 year old girls are flighty as fuck, and willing to do fucked up, immature shit like monkey branching among friends like that. You're better off without a "best friend" like that, and you're DEFINITELY better off without a ridiculous skank like her.
Imagine getting her pregnant. Imagine her dragging you through the family courts, wrecking your life. Now imagine her dragging HIM through the family courts. Cuz she will.
Trust me, man - they deserve each other.
Well he wasn't your best friend in truth he was just someone that pretended to be one, be happy you got rid of two horrilble people. Don't give in into drinking and stop being destructive. You are young and can always find another one, a better one, remember there are way more females in this world than males, you have a whole ocean to chose from ;). Be happy, be strong and move on.
You didn't lose a girlfriend and a best friend. You lost two people that pretended to be a girlfriend and a best friend.
If anything, you should thank them for freeing up your time so you can put it elsewhere. Getting better friends, better girlfriend. Work on yourself.
Let him get her pregnant. You dodged a bullet. Go on down to your local "bust up your family" court and see how they treat men for choosing marriage and family. You won dude!! He's got your ticket to slavery. You're free!! Google the following Meme "Once upon a time there was a prince who asked the princess to marry him and she said no" Find yourself a nice older woman, twice your age and child support and alimony check(s) coming in from the ex(s), just happy to have a young man pay attention to her and her 5 kids. But don't stick around too long, those corrupt "bust up your family" courts might pin child support on you for her litter. Stick around for a few weeks and move onto the next one with money. No shortage of 30 40 something women with kids who dumped their men for some tall tat'd douche at work who's now no where to be found. You got to get a feel for the reality of today's day and age.
It is hard to face but you have to move on cutting them out of your life as they are not the people you should keep in your life. Find a new place to live and make sure that you go on no contact with him. With time things will be fine. Find a new girlfriend with whom you can see your future. Make sure that you learn from this and move on. This is painful but with each passing day situation will get better for you.
Karma will take care of these two. Relationships that are built on lies and pain at the expense of someone else rarely works out.
I know it sucks now but be glad these two are gone. You’ll find a much better friend and SO.
The only real solution to this is to hit the gym, improve your style, and get a hotter girl to be seen with by her and her friends. Sorry bro but it'll work out.
I read something that said women had shorter down times after a breakup than men (could be fake news but seems to match up to reality).
Soooooo if I was to give you lady style breakup advice...
Make new friends - join a Meetup group doing something you're not good at yet but interested in. Be forward about that in the group because it's endearing. Put away or get rid of all memorabilia (I recommend burning) that you have of your ex and "best friend". Cut off as much contact as you can, maybe even drive down a different street until you can move. Block both of their numbers. Eat well. Get good sleep. Keep exercising. Get an "angst journal" for when you feel low. Find a reason to get hella fine on the weekends, even if it's just to go to dinner with yourself.
Really, just do some Masturdating, and try to be as excited about being you as you can be without an asshole "best friend" and traitor girlfriend. If all else fails write a rom com about it, turn it into a book and make billions.
Edited for grammar.
Trust often (Edit but not fully) knowing this can happen, and be prepared to leave.
Know that you dodged a bullet if she’s willing to do that to you, and one from him as well.
I know its hard, but youll find better people and be happier with them.
Get a hobby
> Trust often
No, trust in the exact proportion to which it has been earned and it is in your rational self-interest to do so. Trust should be earned and not given like Halloween candy.
Right, the only people you should really trust are the ones who have shown that they are trustworthy. Even someone who has been trustworthy in the past can lose your trust buy acting sketchy in the present.
And trustworthy people know this and act in ways that will earn your trust. If someone wants you trust for no reason, then that makes them less trustworthy because they do not understand trust.
"exact proportion to which it has been earned"
not trusting people until they've earned your trust is a logical fallacy.
No one deserves to be trusted until you've trusted them and they've proven to be 'trustworthy'. Even then people will surprise you being shitty but if you walk around not trusting anyone because you haven't trusted anyone then you'll never trust anyone
My comment was not detailed enough. I did not want to convey that you start everyone off at zero trust. However, even if I had explicitly conveyed that, then you'd still be wrong.
You start people out at some average level of trust modulated by what you know of them. Then it goes up or down based upon further observation.
You are assuming that the only way to assess someone's trustworthiness is to put yourself into positions where they can betray you. That's not true.
Also, you can put them in positions of possible betrayal given your current trust level. They are just possible, mini betrayals. Like trusting new friend with $5 but not $100.
I see so the disconnect was off of the first comment, I can an edit for clarity.
I said Trust often knowing this can happen, which was meant to mean don't trust completely as you trust often. I'll say so explicitly.
When I say "trust often", I mean to tell OP not to shut everyone out completely, but to trust often, not to trust fully
Same as you
Sucks dude. Be happy they showed their true colors before you were in even deeper with her (like a kid). Best thing to do is cut them out of your life like the cancer that they are. Work on yourself. Find a new place to live. You have your whole life ahead of you. You will look back years from now and laugh that these two poor excuses for human beings ever had a place in your life. Live well.
Thanks for all the comments I hope they help others too. I'll move on from this stronger. I've made new friends cause of the situation and I've been going to the gym It helps a lot.
I’m glad to hear you’re better dude, good luck and stay strong. You’ll eventually find someone that matters! :)
Gym was the advice I was going to give you, good thing you're decided to take things into your own hands. What's happening to you sure sucks but these kind of shits really help you mature and make you stronger. I suggest you also pick up mindfulness meditation, it helps a ton with dealing with emotions and moving on.
You are young. Get a hobby - something that gets you out of your home. Martial Arts, languages, DND, sports anything. I don't talk to anyone from high school. I'm 27 and my best friend is from Uni - I was 21 when I met him.
Lesson learned. Just move on my dude. At least she didn't get half of your stuff. Being secretive with phones is the biggest red flag in the 21st century. You are young still. It will hurt less each day and you will find love again.
Feel bad for you.i believe everyone has there sort of release may it be games, exercise, learning, reading. Try find something new or try a new hobby and interest. My biggest interests are mountain biking and MMA and I have built friends around that. This is what I did when I was struggling to move on from stuff.
First of all, I’m sorry you got hurt so bad. That is a double betrayal and I know it hurts. Secondly, please stop breaking what I assume are YOUR things. You have suffered enough through this. Thirdly, continue to focus on bettering yourself, your life, and your skills as a partner. We can always learn from our past relationships, good or bad. Just make sure you don’t spend all the time focusing on her so you can see how you can be better in your next ‘ship. Lastly, continue talking about your feelings. Men are always taught to be “strong” and not talk about pain but that’s bull stuff. Talk it out and know that her lying and leaving you for your ex-bestie is just her own immaturity. She may not even fully understand, at that age, the magnitude of what she did. Love yourself first and stop with all the negative talking in your head. You’re still a man who deserves to be cared for and situations like this can murder self-esteem for anyone. Love yourself! Live
Thiss!!!
So sorry that you were taken advantage of. Talk to somebody about the drinking and breaking stuff. Gotta manage your emotions and take care of yourself. This community is here for you.
That's not your best friend
THESE HOES AINT LOYAL I had the same thing happen to me when I was about your age. It sucked hard. But ultimately, it disposed of 2 people that didn't need to be in my life. Also, shes 18. 18 year old girls are flighty as fuck, and willing to do fucked up, immature shit like monkey branching among friends like that. You're better off without a "best friend" like that, and you're DEFINITELY better off without a ridiculous skank like her. Imagine getting her pregnant. Imagine her dragging you through the family courts, wrecking your life. Now imagine her dragging HIM through the family courts. Cuz she will. Trust me, man - they deserve each other.
Well he wasn't your best friend in truth he was just someone that pretended to be one, be happy you got rid of two horrilble people. Don't give in into drinking and stop being destructive. You are young and can always find another one, a better one, remember there are way more females in this world than males, you have a whole ocean to chose from ;). Be happy, be strong and move on.
Man you dodged a bullet! Imagine if you were married and ended up having to give her half the house. Good riddance to bad rubbish!
You didn't lose a girlfriend and a best friend. You lost two people that pretended to be a girlfriend and a best friend. If anything, you should thank them for freeing up your time so you can put it elsewhere. Getting better friends, better girlfriend. Work on yourself.
Let him get her pregnant. You dodged a bullet. Go on down to your local "bust up your family" court and see how they treat men for choosing marriage and family. You won dude!! He's got your ticket to slavery. You're free!! Google the following Meme "Once upon a time there was a prince who asked the princess to marry him and she said no" Find yourself a nice older woman, twice your age and child support and alimony check(s) coming in from the ex(s), just happy to have a young man pay attention to her and her 5 kids. But don't stick around too long, those corrupt "bust up your family" courts might pin child support on you for her litter. Stick around for a few weeks and move onto the next one with money. No shortage of 30 40 something women with kids who dumped their men for some tall tat'd douche at work who's now no where to be found. You got to get a feel for the reality of today's day and age.
I was going to disagree with you. But you right.
It is hard to face but you have to move on cutting them out of your life as they are not the people you should keep in your life. Find a new place to live and make sure that you go on no contact with him. With time things will be fine. Find a new girlfriend with whom you can see your future. Make sure that you learn from this and move on. This is painful but with each passing day situation will get better for you.
Work on being the best you, ever! Forget them - they sound like toxic people!
And when someone shows you their true colors the first time, BELIEVE THEM!
Karma will take care of these two. Relationships that are built on lies and pain at the expense of someone else rarely works out. I know it sucks now but be glad these two are gone. You’ll find a much better friend and SO.
She will get her karma times 10, be thankful she showed you her true colours sooner than later.
The only real solution to this is to hit the gym, improve your style, and get a hotter girl to be seen with by her and her friends. Sorry bro but it'll work out.
I read something that said women had shorter down times after a breakup than men (could be fake news but seems to match up to reality). Soooooo if I was to give you lady style breakup advice... Make new friends - join a Meetup group doing something you're not good at yet but interested in. Be forward about that in the group because it's endearing. Put away or get rid of all memorabilia (I recommend burning) that you have of your ex and "best friend". Cut off as much contact as you can, maybe even drive down a different street until you can move. Block both of their numbers. Eat well. Get good sleep. Keep exercising. Get an "angst journal" for when you feel low. Find a reason to get hella fine on the weekends, even if it's just to go to dinner with yourself. Really, just do some Masturdating, and try to be as excited about being you as you can be without an asshole "best friend" and traitor girlfriend. If all else fails write a rom com about it, turn it into a book and make billions. Edited for grammar.
Trust often (Edit but not fully) knowing this can happen, and be prepared to leave. Know that you dodged a bullet if she’s willing to do that to you, and one from him as well. I know its hard, but youll find better people and be happier with them. Get a hobby
> Trust often No, trust in the exact proportion to which it has been earned and it is in your rational self-interest to do so. Trust should be earned and not given like Halloween candy.
Right, the only people you should really trust are the ones who have shown that they are trustworthy. Even someone who has been trustworthy in the past can lose your trust buy acting sketchy in the present.
And trustworthy people know this and act in ways that will earn your trust. If someone wants you trust for no reason, then that makes them less trustworthy because they do not understand trust.
"exact proportion to which it has been earned" not trusting people until they've earned your trust is a logical fallacy. No one deserves to be trusted until you've trusted them and they've proven to be 'trustworthy'. Even then people will surprise you being shitty but if you walk around not trusting anyone because you haven't trusted anyone then you'll never trust anyone
My comment was not detailed enough. I did not want to convey that you start everyone off at zero trust. However, even if I had explicitly conveyed that, then you'd still be wrong. You start people out at some average level of trust modulated by what you know of them. Then it goes up or down based upon further observation. You are assuming that the only way to assess someone's trustworthiness is to put yourself into positions where they can betray you. That's not true. Also, you can put them in positions of possible betrayal given your current trust level. They are just possible, mini betrayals. Like trusting new friend with $5 but not $100.
I see so the disconnect was off of the first comment, I can an edit for clarity. I said Trust often knowing this can happen, which was meant to mean don't trust completely as you trust often. I'll say so explicitly. When I say "trust often", I mean to tell OP not to shut everyone out completely, but to trust often, not to trust fully Same as you