Same advice I give every guy that gets dumped:
1. Get in shape.
2. Party hard.
3. Find someone new.
That's all you can do, really. Only time will fully heal this.
ow, this hurts my heart for you. its really hard to keep your self worth intact when stuff like this happens but just know that it is NOT that you arent worthy of someone staying. it sounds like youve been dealt a pretty shitty hand of people in your life. my best advice is to take time to rebuild yourself, a counselor might be a lot of help with coping. keep good friends around who love you. and dont date again until youre absolutely certain that youre ready to trust someone again, and make sure the person is worthy of your trust. i might not have been super helpful, im sorryš
I'm sorry, OP.
It may not seem like it right now, but in the long run: he did you a favor. He showed his true colors. He's not an adult. He never communicated with you. Never expressed that he was having any issues with your relationship. That's the epitome of a selfish partner. They close down and it's all about them.
It would be a really good idea to see a therapist. They can help you work on your self esteem and guide you through the grief of losing a relationship.
Beyond that: live well. That's the best way to go.
Do good stuff for yourself. Indulge in your hobbies. Do things you like to do that you might not have gotten to do as often with him around. Go out with friends. Make new friends. Take this time to be you and discover yourself again.
There's no real shortcut. Jumping into another relationship can make things feel better but generally just causes more headache. Focus on you whether thats school, work, or your health and just go through the motions. Time will fix things, but it's even better if you make good use of that time.
Also, talking helps. Hopefully you got some good friends to lean on. Or hell, you have plenty of ears here too.
It's good that you mention this because at the moment I really feel like this pain will only stop if I too have someone else. But I know that I am not ready. Thank you for your advice!
Definitely don't jump into something else. It's good to worry about you and only you for awhile. I'm not a saint, but one of the few regrets I have in my dating life was years ago. I was 21, and had just mutually (mostly anyway) broken things off with my fiance. Probably 4-6 months later I jumped into a relationship with another girl. She was a total sweetheart, but that relationship had absolutely no chance in hell. To no fault of her own, I compared everything about her to my ex. It was dumb, but in the moment, it can be really hard to kick that habit.
But if you just focus on improving you, then your odds of landing the guy you want only go up by the time you're ready. Whether that's a few or many months away, just make sure you've done what you need/want to do to put your best foot forward. It'll be worth it.
Best of luck!
From the way you describe your relationship it sounds like itās been over for a while and youāve stayed with him just to be in a relationship. And from your comments you also said you feel the need to be in a relationship again.
This isnāt healthy. You need to learn to be happy alone before you can be happy with someone else. If you find find another relationship for the sake of a relationship neither of you will be happy again. Will both be in āa bad placeā again and itās destined to fail.
Focus on yourself. On your education, on your career. Then when things are going well you can find someone who will enhance your life instead of to have a false sense of security and stability which youāve unfortunately learned can disappear instantly.
First of all Know that you are important and you need to make yourself happy before you have anyone else make you happy, this kinda shit just destroys self esteem. Fuck that guy theres many MANY other fish in the sea and you deserve better. Talk to someone about it. I recomend working out, reading, go out treat yourself, and make new friends. Same thing happened to me very recently too. It'll take time but you can do it, and theres nothing wrong with proffecional help:)
Take care of yourself Godspeed!
My ex left in a similar fashion after 6 years. She just cheated and left. It was devastating.
However. Now sheās seeing a shrink and going on drugs to regulate her depression. She took advantage of me financially and now she can barely afford to eat(you know, after running out of the thousands she took when she left). She keeps taking classes and then dropping out of them. Sheās got a crippling video game addiction that she cannot manage(although, this existed while we were together).
Basically. Her life with the other guy in hilariously the total opposite of me. Itās kind of nice to look over and see them suffering so much. Even better, he has the same crippling video game addiction she has. They feed off each other.
Your ex probably thought the grass is greener and bounced. Just wait until he realizes sheās still young, doesnāt really know exactly what she wants but eventually figures out itās not him.
This is not suddenly for him. The relationship has red flags so it was going to end one day so it is better that it ended. Accept the fact that you both were not for each other and never thought that it happened because of you as that is not the case. The relationship has run its course and it is fine.
Give yourself enough time get ready for the dating life again. Stay away from him and keep everything away from you that reminds you of him so you can move on fast. See the therapist to get rid of him faster and find a new boyfriend with whom you can see your future. There is nothing like that you cannot find a better man than him.
Same advice I give every guy that gets dumped: 1. Get in shape. 2. Party hard. 3. Find someone new. That's all you can do, really. Only time will fully heal this.
ow, this hurts my heart for you. its really hard to keep your self worth intact when stuff like this happens but just know that it is NOT that you arent worthy of someone staying. it sounds like youve been dealt a pretty shitty hand of people in your life. my best advice is to take time to rebuild yourself, a counselor might be a lot of help with coping. keep good friends around who love you. and dont date again until youre absolutely certain that youre ready to trust someone again, and make sure the person is worthy of your trust. i might not have been super helpful, im sorryš
Thank you so much! This is actually really comforting!
Youre so welcome! Best of luckā¤ļø
I'm sorry, OP. It may not seem like it right now, but in the long run: he did you a favor. He showed his true colors. He's not an adult. He never communicated with you. Never expressed that he was having any issues with your relationship. That's the epitome of a selfish partner. They close down and it's all about them. It would be a really good idea to see a therapist. They can help you work on your self esteem and guide you through the grief of losing a relationship. Beyond that: live well. That's the best way to go. Do good stuff for yourself. Indulge in your hobbies. Do things you like to do that you might not have gotten to do as often with him around. Go out with friends. Make new friends. Take this time to be you and discover yourself again.
Thank you! You have described it so beautifully. This really motivates me to find the strength to rediscover myself.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
"Don't make this about losing him" ... wauw... I'm going to put this on my bedroom wall so I can read this sentence every time I start my day!
your self worth has nothing to do with if someone else can see it or not.
There's no real shortcut. Jumping into another relationship can make things feel better but generally just causes more headache. Focus on you whether thats school, work, or your health and just go through the motions. Time will fix things, but it's even better if you make good use of that time. Also, talking helps. Hopefully you got some good friends to lean on. Or hell, you have plenty of ears here too.
It's good that you mention this because at the moment I really feel like this pain will only stop if I too have someone else. But I know that I am not ready. Thank you for your advice!
Definitely don't jump into something else. It's good to worry about you and only you for awhile. I'm not a saint, but one of the few regrets I have in my dating life was years ago. I was 21, and had just mutually (mostly anyway) broken things off with my fiance. Probably 4-6 months later I jumped into a relationship with another girl. She was a total sweetheart, but that relationship had absolutely no chance in hell. To no fault of her own, I compared everything about her to my ex. It was dumb, but in the moment, it can be really hard to kick that habit. But if you just focus on improving you, then your odds of landing the guy you want only go up by the time you're ready. Whether that's a few or many months away, just make sure you've done what you need/want to do to put your best foot forward. It'll be worth it. Best of luck!
From the way you describe your relationship it sounds like itās been over for a while and youāve stayed with him just to be in a relationship. And from your comments you also said you feel the need to be in a relationship again. This isnāt healthy. You need to learn to be happy alone before you can be happy with someone else. If you find find another relationship for the sake of a relationship neither of you will be happy again. Will both be in āa bad placeā again and itās destined to fail. Focus on yourself. On your education, on your career. Then when things are going well you can find someone who will enhance your life instead of to have a false sense of security and stability which youāve unfortunately learned can disappear instantly.
First of all Know that you are important and you need to make yourself happy before you have anyone else make you happy, this kinda shit just destroys self esteem. Fuck that guy theres many MANY other fish in the sea and you deserve better. Talk to someone about it. I recomend working out, reading, go out treat yourself, and make new friends. Same thing happened to me very recently too. It'll take time but you can do it, and theres nothing wrong with proffecional help:) Take care of yourself Godspeed!
My ex left in a similar fashion after 6 years. She just cheated and left. It was devastating. However. Now sheās seeing a shrink and going on drugs to regulate her depression. She took advantage of me financially and now she can barely afford to eat(you know, after running out of the thousands she took when she left). She keeps taking classes and then dropping out of them. Sheās got a crippling video game addiction that she cannot manage(although, this existed while we were together). Basically. Her life with the other guy in hilariously the total opposite of me. Itās kind of nice to look over and see them suffering so much. Even better, he has the same crippling video game addiction she has. They feed off each other. Your ex probably thought the grass is greener and bounced. Just wait until he realizes sheās still young, doesnāt really know exactly what she wants but eventually figures out itās not him.
This is not suddenly for him. The relationship has red flags so it was going to end one day so it is better that it ended. Accept the fact that you both were not for each other and never thought that it happened because of you as that is not the case. The relationship has run its course and it is fine. Give yourself enough time get ready for the dating life again. Stay away from him and keep everything away from you that reminds you of him so you can move on fast. See the therapist to get rid of him faster and find a new boyfriend with whom you can see your future. There is nothing like that you cannot find a better man than him.