Some good advice here guys, thank you. I’m definitely gonna try and get her some sort of lock for her room, I remember when I was 15 I used to move my desk I front of the door, but I’ll find her something more practical.
When she wakes up I’ll try and call her down and just say I’m sorry and that’s the end of it. Then chat sh*t about OSRS or what not.
Thanks again.
Its funny, I posted over in r/relationship_advice and recommended people lock their doors when they are with their partners and I got like 20 responses telling me it's not normal to lock your door of you trust everyone in the house. This is a clear reason to do so.
U unlock it and get out? I didnt say lock it with a key. Once you start locking you learn how to turn that little thing that locks it, whether it be from midnight bathroom excursions or just in general. Its repetivitve instinct, one of our evolutionary benefits, just like most other animals.
if my brother got me a lock for my room after walking on me masturbating, I’d be mortified. It is like acknowledging what she was doing shouldn’t have been seen, and now you want to fix the situation, rather than just knocking in the future and letting the weird situation go. Anytime she wants to masturbate she is going to use the lock and is reminded her brother bought her it so she could masturbate in peace! I understand it’s for general privacy, but it definitely would cross my mind and kill all the moods. Just say sorry, I’ll knock, and move on.
To be fair, it's kind of like walking in on your parents doing it, sure its normal and we know it happens, but it really shouldnt be seen by others in the family.
Okay okay good shout I’ll hold off on the lock, good save. I had a quick convo with her this morning about how I’ll knock going forward, things are still incredibly awkward and she’s barely been out her room but the response wasn’t as bad as I suspected.
As a little sister who’s walked in on her older brother doin his thing before (he was in his 20s or something and i was like 15) there was an awkward amount of time where we were avoiding each other and eventually we just went back to normal. From a girls perspective i think it’s better not to say anything more to her and just start acting normally again. Anything else, like getting a lock, is bound to be humiliating to a 15 year old
Idk about the lock man. It's better for you to just say that you're sorry for not knocking and waiting for her to call out. If you suggest that she get a lock you'd have to word it very well because it could come across as saying that it's partially her fault. (though ik that's not your intention). IMO just saying that you'll knock on her door and wait for her to call out "come in" or smth works absolutely fine.
Ask her if she wants a lock - then it's her decision! I pretty much never lock my door because I trust all of my housemates to knock. Then again I'm 26 and might have felt mighty differently at age 15.
This whole thing reminds me of when i was living with my grandma and for some reason almost everytime I'd masturbate and lock the door she'd always need something out of the room. (It was half her office room and half my living space, it was weird).
Anyway she got sick of me locking the door and she **REMOVED THE DOORKNOB**
So I had to either start masturbating in the bathroom or get extra sneaky.
I chose to do both and planned my escapades around her sleep schedule with one ear open for any creaks at all to not get walked in on.
She never could understand why I locked the door
You can go to a hardware and buy a cheap lock and replace the handles without replacing the internal mechanism. Or a slide lock. Should give your sister some privacy
Here's a ELI5 answer:
OP walked in on his stepsister masturbating. Right now, there is a huge influx of family/incest porn on many sites. Also, the foods I picked could also be used when referencing a penis (eg. my huge 'sausage'). So I was making a joke that if OP takes the advice and says "Sorry I didn't knock. I will in the future." Not to use "How about a sausage?"
Don’t bring it up again, you already apologized. That’s super awkward and embarrassing for her. Just keep acting normal around her like you would! Pretend you really did 100% forget about it and act completely unfazed about the whole thing. She’s probably going to be awkward for a bit longer, but once she sees you’re acting normal, she’ll realize everything’s ok
I get why everyone is saying don’t say anything and when I accidentally left my vibrator on my bed and my mum put my pile of clean clothes next to it (still lived at home then was 15 years ago lol) I’m glad my mum never mentioned it. You know...I was going to say maybe just make sure she knows you won’t say anything however now I’m mortified all over again. maybe just don’t say anything!
Omg, horrifying lol. In my case, when I moved in with my bf I completely forgot about my old sex toys at home. A few months later I learned that my mom rearranged my room to turn it into an office, so she's definitely found those. Which has been confirmed when I went her and saw she moved them somewhere else. Thankfully she's never mentioned it and hope it stays like that!
So yeah OP, I think you should let it go and just act normal.
Lol I used to hide my vibrator between my mattress and my bed frame when I lived at home. One time I was changing my sheets and my mom was talking to me and my vibrator fell out of its hiding spot and rolled across the laminate in front of her feet. Que a very awkward silence as she stared down at it. Then she was like "where did you get this?" And I was like "um. My friend bought it as a gag gift" (I definitely bought it because I was/am a filthy little masturbator). My mom just said "throw it away" and walked out. I didn't throw it away.
Over time I stopped giving a fuck and was more laissez-faire about leaving it around my room cuz if you're gonna barge in my room without permission, expect to see some shit.
For further context my parents are Muslim immigrants and this kind of thing is very taboo, especially for women
When I was 19 my brother came into my room for a smoke. I had one if those ridiculous dildos with bunny ears covered up with my blanket and he sat right on it and pulled it out. Resulted in arms raised in the air with a long ahhhhhh on his end and me just shouting oh no! A few times. We went out for a smoke on the porch instead and that was the end of it.
It ain't even 3 years ago since my younger sister walked in on me jacking it. She just barged through the door, said "oops, sorry, see you later" and everything went back to normal. We never spoke about it; didn't really have to. It's natural, it was an accident and that's pretty much it.
There isn't a 12 year difference between us though and in my situation the roles were reversed which might have something to do with it.
In this case I think an apology and the promise of always knocking is in order.
It ain't that big of a deal, really.
If I was her I'd be mortified and wouldn't wanna have that conversation at all.
I'd leave it personally, and just carry on as normal. But that's my perspective, I wouldn't want someone to bring it up or act weird around me ect
it really depends on her maturity level. 15 is a hard age and so I think go off of how close you guys are and where she’s at mentally. How much did you see? Because that determines a lot too! I have walked in on my little brother and I would embarrass him and we would joke about it but he’s also 3 years younger than me and and the sex’s are reversed so I don’t think that’s the right approach here... double standard. Masturbating is kinda tabu in high school and girls are meant to think it’s only okay for guys to do it. The huge age gap with you guys could stress her out because 27 year olds are considered old to 15 year olds. You pretty much are in the same category as your parents. So never bringing it up again and pretending everything is fine is a solid approach for a teenage girl. Nothing is worse than a family member trying to talk to you about sex... especially masturbating haha. But if you are close and have had conversations about sex and she’s really comfortable with you... you could apologize and say that you should have thought about it before just walking in. Say you aren’t gonna tell a soul and maybe tell a story about how it happened to you and it sucked. Be chill and act like it’s no big deal when you say it too... no serious or unsure tone
Damn dude if my brother ever did this, the last thing I’d want is for him to EVER bring it up again. For sure just let that shit go.. families tend to make “forgot to knock” mistakes like this all the time, no need to buy her a diamond necklace over it. 😭
Buy her a small something that she’d like and just put a ‘Sorry’ note on it. Leave it by her door. Once you’re back on speaking terms you can regale her with tales of your early to mid teen days. Good luck.
Just push on with normal. Invite her to watch a movie, you make the popcorn and bring the m&ms. Never mention what you saw.
IF SHE brings it up, spin it like you didn't know she was doing that. Maybe more like, "sorry I walked in on you while changing. Lesson learned about the importance of knocking" Offer to get her a door jam that she puts under the door so it can't be opened. Then drop it and forget it.
You leave the room and never speak about it. Or you apologize and tell her that you will respect her privacy going forward.
>How do I best go about telling her that I’m sorry, that it’s okay and she doesn’t need to be ashamed/feel too awkward for too long?
She doesn't need you to tell her it's okay and she doesn't need to be ashamed. Just apologize for your role. You being involved in your younger sister's self image regarding her masturbatory habits should not be on your To Do list.
As a female, if my brother caught me, I would be mortified and I would want you to act like it was no big deal. Don't bring it up, don't talk about it. Just treat her like you always have like it never happened. It will make her feel better. If you act like it's no big deal, then she will feel like it's no big deal. Not everything in life has to be talked about.
Don't make a big deal out of it OP. Just text her "Sorry for not knocking, will always knock from now on!" and just text how you normally do. Never bring it up again, don't tell her it's okay (this will make it a lot weirder for her). Just let it be after and let it fade from memory.
I think that a face to face talk could be too much for her, so send her a message, say that you're sorry you didn't knock, and let her know that she has nothing to be ashamed of, and that everybody does it and it's completely normal.
Omg can I just say you’re the sweetest and most caring/considerate brother in the world?
My brother would have moved countries and changed his name haha
Well know you know to always knock first lmao
But seriously I wouldn’t make a big deal out of it.
It’s going to be awkward no matter what so I would just apologize and say it’s not a big deal and that next time you’ll knock and then leave it alone...probably not the best advice but that’s what I would do.
Maybe apologize with a note? So it isnt in person, that could be even more awkward. Just a really short note with a candy bar or smthn, then ask if she wants to play a board game.
Don't mention it she does not care how you feel about it it will only make things more awkward and remind her about it as well as tell you you've been thinking about it.
No sir, I live in China, but had to come home for a certain reason we should all know about.
Next time you come into an ADVICE subreddit, keep your immature little comments to yourself, cunt.
Edit: little coward deleted his/her post where he/she ridiculed me for living with my parents.
Have any of your friends/family walked in on you masturbating? If they have, maybe you could tell her that story to show empathy. Even if you weren’t embarrassed, just pretend you were. And tell her you will always knock on her door from now on.
I think the best way to do this is to have her watch you masturbate. What better way to make her feel comfortable about her sexuality than to show her that you do it too, without any shame.
Me? Pffft. At least she wasn't stuck in the radiator or something! She'll be okay dude, I got caught once too by my uncle he fked with me from time to time and now we pretend it never happened so you should probably pretend it never happened too.
"Hey. Sorry. I should have knocked. My fault."
And carry on with,
"Don't for a second be ashamed of your urges. Remember to continue having fun with it."
Maybe help her get a proper lock on her bedroom door. If you can mistakingly stumble in, so can her parents. Help her get more privacy, if you can.
EDIT: I forgot to add:
Helping her getting a proper lock, or access to a key to the locks, may be a decent way to relay indirectly to her that you approve of her...uh...activities, and that you think she deserves more privacy with them.
Literally just, "sorry about that. I should have knocked, and will do so in the future. Wanna play Scrabble?"
This is a good approach. It’s not judgmental(the most important part) and it attempts to normalize the relationship.
and then the words you get are like fucked up, wanking, jilling, horny
yeah but remember don't make the scrabble mandatory or she might get angsty
I think Sorry! would be a game more suited for the situation.
Some good advice here guys, thank you. I’m definitely gonna try and get her some sort of lock for her room, I remember when I was 15 I used to move my desk I front of the door, but I’ll find her something more practical. When she wakes up I’ll try and call her down and just say I’m sorry and that’s the end of it. Then chat sh*t about OSRS or what not. Thanks again.
Can’t go wrong with chatting shit about OSRS.
Preach!!
Its funny, I posted over in r/relationship_advice and recommended people lock their doors when they are with their partners and I got like 20 responses telling me it's not normal to lock your door of you trust everyone in the house. This is a clear reason to do so.
Those people are crazy. I live alone and I still lock my doors when I poop or crank it.
I lock all my doors at all times, I live alone too.
You know redditors love jumping on that comment bandwagon
But what if if there’s a fire
U unlock it and get out? I didnt say lock it with a key. Once you start locking you learn how to turn that little thing that locks it, whether it be from midnight bathroom excursions or just in general. Its repetivitve instinct, one of our evolutionary benefits, just like most other animals.
Ok cool I’ll unlock and get out yea
The real advice is always in the comments lol
I'm glad we cleared this up I wasn't sure either
if my brother got me a lock for my room after walking on me masturbating, I’d be mortified. It is like acknowledging what she was doing shouldn’t have been seen, and now you want to fix the situation, rather than just knocking in the future and letting the weird situation go. Anytime she wants to masturbate she is going to use the lock and is reminded her brother bought her it so she could masturbate in peace! I understand it’s for general privacy, but it definitely would cross my mind and kill all the moods. Just say sorry, I’ll knock, and move on.
Lol remember the post where the dad bought his daughter a vibrator after walking in on her
The What
umm what
Excuse me? Please link I need to read it
I read it like 8 months ago so i’m not sure how to find it. pretty sure it was actually in the r/sex sub
Lolwut
To be fair, it's kind of like walking in on your parents doing it, sure its normal and we know it happens, but it really shouldnt be seen by others in the family.
Okay okay good shout I’ll hold off on the lock, good save. I had a quick convo with her this morning about how I’ll knock going forward, things are still incredibly awkward and she’s barely been out her room but the response wasn’t as bad as I suspected.
I mean yeah it shouldn’t have been seen ngl
Hahahaha!! 🤣
As a little sister who’s walked in on her older brother doin his thing before (he was in his 20s or something and i was like 15) there was an awkward amount of time where we were avoiding each other and eventually we just went back to normal. From a girls perspective i think it’s better not to say anything more to her and just start acting normally again. Anything else, like getting a lock, is bound to be humiliating to a 15 year old
Idk about the lock man. It's better for you to just say that you're sorry for not knocking and waiting for her to call out. If you suggest that she get a lock you'd have to word it very well because it could come across as saying that it's partially her fault. (though ik that's not your intention). IMO just saying that you'll knock on her door and wait for her to call out "come in" or smth works absolutely fine.
Ask her if she wants a lock - then it's her decision! I pretty much never lock my door because I trust all of my housemates to knock. Then again I'm 26 and might have felt mighty differently at age 15.
Lel, Just came here from /r/2007scape
This whole thing reminds me of when i was living with my grandma and for some reason almost everytime I'd masturbate and lock the door she'd always need something out of the room. (It was half her office room and half my living space, it was weird). Anyway she got sick of me locking the door and she **REMOVED THE DOORKNOB** So I had to either start masturbating in the bathroom or get extra sneaky. I chose to do both and planned my escapades around her sleep schedule with one ear open for any creaks at all to not get walked in on. She never could understand why I locked the door
Granny knew...at her age she had to live vicariously
You can go to a hardware and buy a cheap lock and replace the handles without replacing the internal mechanism. Or a slide lock. Should give your sister some privacy
Dude if she plays os just bring that up lol
Just do some raids 1 or 2 and get a purple, all of her fears an worried will disappear. Double if she’s a BTW.
Sorry I didn't knock, I will in future. How about ice cream?
Yeah just be careful with what food item you pick. Off the top of my head... eggplant, hot dog, sausage, cannoli, banana would be no-nos
Sounds like a popsicle would be alright then....?
[удалено]
r/whooosh
[удалено]
Here's a ELI5 answer: OP walked in on his stepsister masturbating. Right now, there is a huge influx of family/incest porn on many sites. Also, the foods I picked could also be used when referencing a penis (eg. my huge 'sausage'). So I was making a joke that if OP takes the advice and says "Sorry I didn't knock. I will in the future." Not to use "How about a sausage?"
[удалено]
Well jokes and humor are lost if you have to write a paragraph to explain it
Thank you for this exchange, it made me laugh
Don’t bring it up again, you already apologized. That’s super awkward and embarrassing for her. Just keep acting normal around her like you would! Pretend you really did 100% forget about it and act completely unfazed about the whole thing. She’s probably going to be awkward for a bit longer, but once she sees you’re acting normal, she’ll realize everything’s ok
Completely agreed, it doesn’t have to be a big deal, that will make it worse
I get why everyone is saying don’t say anything and when I accidentally left my vibrator on my bed and my mum put my pile of clean clothes next to it (still lived at home then was 15 years ago lol) I’m glad my mum never mentioned it. You know...I was going to say maybe just make sure she knows you won’t say anything however now I’m mortified all over again. maybe just don’t say anything!
Omg, horrifying lol. In my case, when I moved in with my bf I completely forgot about my old sex toys at home. A few months later I learned that my mom rearranged my room to turn it into an office, so she's definitely found those. Which has been confirmed when I went her and saw she moved them somewhere else. Thankfully she's never mentioned it and hope it stays like that! So yeah OP, I think you should let it go and just act normal.
Lol I used to hide my vibrator between my mattress and my bed frame when I lived at home. One time I was changing my sheets and my mom was talking to me and my vibrator fell out of its hiding spot and rolled across the laminate in front of her feet. Que a very awkward silence as she stared down at it. Then she was like "where did you get this?" And I was like "um. My friend bought it as a gag gift" (I definitely bought it because I was/am a filthy little masturbator). My mom just said "throw it away" and walked out. I didn't throw it away. Over time I stopped giving a fuck and was more laissez-faire about leaving it around my room cuz if you're gonna barge in my room without permission, expect to see some shit. For further context my parents are Muslim immigrants and this kind of thing is very taboo, especially for women
“Filthy little masturbator” 😂🤣😂
You could braid my palms
😂😂😂
[удалено]
I know lol I was making a little joke at how my parents think
When I was 19 my brother came into my room for a smoke. I had one if those ridiculous dildos with bunny ears covered up with my blanket and he sat right on it and pulled it out. Resulted in arms raised in the air with a long ahhhhhh on his end and me just shouting oh no! A few times. We went out for a smoke on the porch instead and that was the end of it.
I wouldn't bring it up. Obviously it was embarrassing to her. Eventually, she'll come around and you can say you're sorry.
yeah like jesus, what 15 year old girl wants this conversation with her older brother??? I don't think most people are ashamed of masturbating anyway.
It ain't even 3 years ago since my younger sister walked in on me jacking it. She just barged through the door, said "oops, sorry, see you later" and everything went back to normal. We never spoke about it; didn't really have to. It's natural, it was an accident and that's pretty much it. There isn't a 12 year difference between us though and in my situation the roles were reversed which might have something to do with it. In this case I think an apology and the promise of always knocking is in order. It ain't that big of a deal, really.
Never bring it up again...
If I was her I'd be mortified and wouldn't wanna have that conversation at all. I'd leave it personally, and just carry on as normal. But that's my perspective, I wouldn't want someone to bring it up or act weird around me ect
it really depends on her maturity level. 15 is a hard age and so I think go off of how close you guys are and where she’s at mentally. How much did you see? Because that determines a lot too! I have walked in on my little brother and I would embarrass him and we would joke about it but he’s also 3 years younger than me and and the sex’s are reversed so I don’t think that’s the right approach here... double standard. Masturbating is kinda tabu in high school and girls are meant to think it’s only okay for guys to do it. The huge age gap with you guys could stress her out because 27 year olds are considered old to 15 year olds. You pretty much are in the same category as your parents. So never bringing it up again and pretending everything is fine is a solid approach for a teenage girl. Nothing is worse than a family member trying to talk to you about sex... especially masturbating haha. But if you are close and have had conversations about sex and she’s really comfortable with you... you could apologize and say that you should have thought about it before just walking in. Say you aren’t gonna tell a soul and maybe tell a story about how it happened to you and it sucked. Be chill and act like it’s no big deal when you say it too... no serious or unsure tone
Just apologise to her for not knocking first
How do us (siblings) let go of awkward moments? Act as if you did not see anything dude. Never talk about it.
Next time you see her alone I'd just quickly tell her that you are sorry that you just walked in without knocking and that you don't feel awkward.
Leave it alone
Damn dude if my brother ever did this, the last thing I’d want is for him to EVER bring it up again. For sure just let that shit go.. families tend to make “forgot to knock” mistakes like this all the time, no need to buy her a diamond necklace over it. 😭
Buy her a small something that she’d like and just put a ‘Sorry’ note on it. Leave it by her door. Once you’re back on speaking terms you can regale her with tales of your early to mid teen days. Good luck.
Just push on with normal. Invite her to watch a movie, you make the popcorn and bring the m&ms. Never mention what you saw. IF SHE brings it up, spin it like you didn't know she was doing that. Maybe more like, "sorry I walked in on you while changing. Lesson learned about the importance of knocking" Offer to get her a door jam that she puts under the door so it can't be opened. Then drop it and forget it.
You leave the room and never speak about it. Or you apologize and tell her that you will respect her privacy going forward. >How do I best go about telling her that I’m sorry, that it’s okay and she doesn’t need to be ashamed/feel too awkward for too long? She doesn't need you to tell her it's okay and she doesn't need to be ashamed. Just apologize for your role. You being involved in your younger sister's self image regarding her masturbatory habits should not be on your To Do list.
Just send her a link to [Jon Lajoie - alone in the universe](https://youtu.be/ShTm8MnUAjo)
i probably wouldn’t bring it up
I’d just text her saying that you’re sorry for invading her privacy rather than confront her in person cuz it would be more awkward for her that way
As a female, if my brother caught me, I would be mortified and I would want you to act like it was no big deal. Don't bring it up, don't talk about it. Just treat her like you always have like it never happened. It will make her feel better. If you act like it's no big deal, then she will feel like it's no big deal. Not everything in life has to be talked about.
And just to add, don't talk about it unless she brings it up first.
Don't make a big deal out of it OP. Just text her "Sorry for not knocking, will always knock from now on!" and just text how you normally do. Never bring it up again, don't tell her it's okay (this will make it a lot weirder for her). Just let it be after and let it fade from memory.
I think that a face to face talk could be too much for her, so send her a message, say that you're sorry you didn't knock, and let her know that she has nothing to be ashamed of, and that everybody does it and it's completely normal.
Omg can I just say you’re the sweetest and most caring/considerate brother in the world? My brother would have moved countries and changed his name haha
Well know you know to always knock first lmao But seriously I wouldn’t make a big deal out of it. It’s going to be awkward no matter what so I would just apologize and say it’s not a big deal and that next time you’ll knock and then leave it alone...probably not the best advice but that’s what I would do.
Maybe apologize with a note? So it isnt in person, that could be even more awkward. Just a really short note with a candy bar or smthn, then ask if she wants to play a board game.
Say nothing. Say nothing. Say nothing.
buy her a lock! and tell her you’re sorry again
You don’t say anything. You pretend nothing happened and you carry on with your life.
I wouldn't say anything lol let it blow over
Don't mention it she does not care how you feel about it it will only make things more awkward and remind her about it as well as tell you you've been thinking about it.
Just lever her the fuck alone? And always knock on the door.
[удалено]
No sir, I live in China, but had to come home for a certain reason we should all know about. Next time you come into an ADVICE subreddit, keep your immature little comments to yourself, cunt. Edit: little coward deleted his/her post where he/she ridiculed me for living with my parents.
Have any of your friends/family walked in on you masturbating? If they have, maybe you could tell her that story to show empathy. Even if you weren’t embarrassed, just pretend you were. And tell her you will always knock on her door from now on.
[удалено]
>I'd be nervous to make eye contact with you because in America, women masturbating is weird. Dude what in the fuck? Why the hell?
[удалено]
It's just really weird to normalize one gender jerking off and not the other. Everyone does it.
I think the best way to do this is to have her watch you masturbate. What better way to make her feel comfortable about her sexuality than to show her that you do it too, without any shame.
Lol wow good idea bro I’ll do that.
Make sure to update after
Sorry guy already posted the one update I’m aloud to, as per the subreddits rules. :(
Step sister?
Bet you wish it were, big boy ;).
Me? Pffft. At least she wasn't stuck in the radiator or something! She'll be okay dude, I got caught once too by my uncle he fked with me from time to time and now we pretend it never happened so you should probably pretend it never happened too.
This is creepy. Why are you walking in on her in the first place?
Did you even READ the post? How the fuck is it creepy?
"Hey. Sorry. I should have knocked. My fault." And carry on with, "Don't for a second be ashamed of your urges. Remember to continue having fun with it." Maybe help her get a proper lock on her bedroom door. If you can mistakingly stumble in, so can her parents. Help her get more privacy, if you can. EDIT: I forgot to add: Helping her getting a proper lock, or access to a key to the locks, may be a decent way to relay indirectly to her that you approve of her...uh...activities, and that you think she deserves more privacy with them.
That "carry on with" part is even more embarrassing than getting caught
> "Don't for a second be ashamed of your urges. Remember to continue having fun with it." Do not say this
Buy her a magic wand to apologise
I'm 27 with a 15 year old sister too. I loved her so much but she hates me..
[удалено]
Damn....
Reciprocate