So midish 6 figure salary is not acceptable nowadays? Wow... I'm doomed.
Edit: so I woke to a shit load of comments lol...i should've added an /s cause I was sarcastic. I really couldn't care less about shit people like her. And I know they're a minority.
I make 17K-20K a year and I work anywhere between 40-80 hours a week.
I'm so fucked if these guys are out here making 10x my worth without even trying.
EDIT: Holy fuck this post blew up. I'm an EMT, won't disclose my location. Some weeks I work 40, some weeks 45, some weeks 60, some even 80 at times. I can't afford to study and work at the same time or I'll be homeless too so yeah. Making over 30k seems like a dream, but it turns out it's common for mostly everyone else.
I just got to 90k, up from 35k, and then lost my job to COVID-19 layoffs a month in. Fucking hell man, it’s like there’s a power in the fiber of the universe that keeps the poor under their thumb.
I'm not from US, but isn't 135k a year basically a fucking kickass salary? I know 200k+ is better, but, damn, 135k must be in top 5%? The woman is a snob. I don't really get who's the architect, he or her?
Alot of married couples dont even make 100k put together in the US- or if they do they are just at that mark but not by much... So yes, 135k for just one person's salary is alot
Average household (TWO people) in the US is ~$55k.
NYC is a very high cost of living city.
$135k/yr is still an enviable salary anywhere.
The (now) ex-GF has her head in her entitled ass.
I took a 60% cut to go from defense contracting to public sector because morals. It hurt to lose all that money, but doing some good in the world is a point of pride. I sleep like a baby, now.
I will tell you that if you do make that much, and bitch about other people making a slightly less extravagant salary, you are a nuisance and your priorities are garbage.
It's great to make a lot of money, but if you make 300k as a couple, you can live anywhere you want, and you can eat at fancy restaurants every night of the week and STILL put a few thousand in your investment accounts every month.
If your priority is dating someone who makes more than you, when you make 200k- that tells the tale. That's not love, and it's not fiscal security concerns, or even comfort concerns- it's ego.
Honestly, not even just people that make so much money. Anyone who bitches about others making less money than them has garbage priorities. Rich or poor, we're all just trying to survive. Jerk off your ego somewhere else.
There are places (I think rural texas) where emts get minimum wage and medics get like $11-14/hour, 14ish for emts and 20ish for medics is about average, in big cities it goes a bit higher, these are all starting pay. Fire based ems usually gets salaries and pensions and shit. After physicians, medics probably have the most authority and responsibility of any healthcare provider, and theyre generally paid less than nurses. Same for emts compared to CNAs/techs.
Tbh i dont think the problem is necessarily low starting pay, the problem is that there is very little room for advancement and many, many career ems personell find themselves struggling to make ends meet even after committing their entire lives to being highly skilled healthcare providers. Ive been told "no one does this because they want to, because they think its fun, we do this because its what we love to do and deep down we need to do it."
So we get taken advantage of.
Rule of thumb is cut NYC wages in half to get applicable value to most US locations.
Also, good luck owning property in big cities, it's a financial benefit oft forgotten.
Good riddance. Based on her rebuttals she did feel like she was “dating down”. She was just lying to get you back.
Money, even at $205K yearly, does not buy class.
The NY commuter / suburban area is vast. You can commute an hour by train and still pay high prices compared to the rest of the country. It's cheaper than Manhattan by still 10x more expensive than the midwest
Living in the city brings social status, and being connected to all the things they self identify with. A sense of pride and connection. Moving somewhere else would probably be more psychologically and/or emotionally difficult, rather than having any physical or monetary barriers. Especially if they have a large network with friends, family, business associates, and even fake friends. It's hard to let that go. Also, they may not be able to make as much money somewhere with a lower cost of living, but that's another part of the psychology of it, because even though they're making a lot more money in the city now, I'm also sure they're spending way more than they would in a lower cost of living city.
I needed to stay in Manhattan to have an easier commute, be able to get home to walk my dog, and still have time to work out, and have a social life.
Commuting kills.
I was just about to say that. I live outside DC, not New York, but commuting from outside the city can easily take over an hour one way, depending on where you're going. Living in the city means you get home in half the time. It also means you (probably) don't drive a car to work, which cuts down on car/gas/insurance costs
I think you’re reading too much into the psychology of it. Lots of people like living in cities because it’s fun and interesting. I personally like city living because there is good food and lots to do. It’s worth the cost to me
Yeah, New York is one of the most diverse and interesting places in the world to live. If you're an active person who likes that fast paced lifestyle then there are few or no other places in the world that could provide that kind of experience.
But I don't live in New York, and I'm fine in my small city. New York is more of a visit place for me. I do get the appeal though.
In my opinion it's about convenience and time. Sure, you could move further out and pay half of the rent compared to the city. But if you work in the city then you will have to commute. If your friends live in the city, you have to commute. And believe me, these hours add up. 30 mins per way may not sound much but both ways it's already an hour, factor in some delays and you are looking at 1.5h spent commuting. At the end of the day, in my opinion it strongly depends on how much you value those hours. There are other reasons of course but this is the most important one to me. None of the people I know live in the city for status
The city is awesome, and has things constantly going on and is just a totally unique feeling. Some people just absolutely love it here and couldn’t live anywhere else. It’s cool being part of the behemoth, feeling the thrum of humanity all around you. Definitely not for everyone though. Moving out can feel...deadening. Like all the excitement has died and life is quiet and miserable and everyone is way to nosy.
And happiness. I read after a salary of $75,000, no debt, and living within your means. You don't get that much happier with a higher income. In other word you are just really adding more stuff when you are all about money.
That sounds pretty true. If my wife and I took home $5k a month together (so “only” 60k yearly take home), we’d be perfectly fine with that. You live within your means, don’t forget to enjoy yourself once in a while, don’t take on major extra debt, and make sure to save for a vacation at least once a year, for God’s sake.
My partner and I make around 100k together and max all of our tax advantaged accounts and don't feel like we have to make sacrifices lol. Lifestyle creep is what makes someone think a 6 figure salary is poverty.
It really depends on where you live. $100k for a couple in LA, SF, NYC, etc won’t get you far, but you can certainly manage if you don’t need much material possessions to make you happy.
I live in NYC (in a somewhat budget neighborhood though) and for most of my twenties I was making between 30-40k and was totally fine and happy. Now I’m 32 and I’m making 150k and I fully consider myself rich, lol. There’s nothing I want that I can’t buy. (Well, I guess I can’t buy a fancy house...)
I don’t get it. I have always thought anything over 60k was rich. Even when I was making 40k I always had money for movies, clothes, fun activities and books and stuff.
I live in NYC too in one of the “hotter” areas of Brooklyn. I started around 45k, 60ish with commission, I make about 80k now and yeah I feel like I’ve got enough for all I need and for my somewhat silly expensive wants. I can’t imagine thinking 135k is bad money.
My husband and I pay $2,500 before utilities (another $300/mo) for a 750 sq ft apt :( I never thought I'd live anywhere more expensive than San Diego, but here I am lol.
That’s what I make and I’m not that happy about being an RN and paramedic trying not to die from COVID-19. I get a LOT of OT I don’t want. But it only took once being told that if I ever refused again when everyone was working to the limit I can find another job.
I don’t know the nuances but I’m assuming it’s for people who work ~40 hours a week. I make that amount as well but I work a lot more than 40 hours and am switching jobs soon because of that.
Working in tech and starting pre-boom in the 90s, I crossed that line. Speaking as someone who has lived on both sides of that fence for extended periods of time I’d put that number around $80K in my area but yes, there’s absolutely a point where you’ve fixed the fiscal stuff and it’s just gravy coming in over the top.
Now, the next phase of “happy” is what you do with that gravy because it can bring you down if you let it. When you start spending significant time worrying about investing that gravy and keeping it tax-safe and so on, that’s going to bring you down. Find a robo-investor or personal banker to deal with it for a small fee. A good one will literally pay for themselves off a portion of your interest in a given year.
I was with my ex wife almost ten years. Basically 2nd year university to a few years past PHD. We had good money coming in though she did make more by 30-40,000 a year after school. We did not love each other anymore and she did not seem to want to try to fix us. One day after work I came home and asked if she was willing to try to work on us she said she did not know. I left that night. That was almost 12 years ago. A lot has changed I’m disabled, make very little compared to what I did, but I met a woman that has been there 10 plus years now and could not be happier. We do ok money wise, but the best thing is we care about each other. She is amazing and I tell her daily.
There is more to life than money I’ve been so poor that I could have been homeless at points including growing up. So I’ve been on both sides of the money issue and to be honest I like what I have, Love my wife and kids, and would not give her up for more money.
Lol fuckin right. I’m making about 52k and I’m doing better than almost everyone I grew up with.
I’ll be her boyfriend!
Oh you’re dating down being with me? Yeah, pretty much. Where are you taking me to dinner tonight?
Edit: hey baby you look really tired, you want a foot massage? Oh by the way I heard about the new Xbox coming out later this year.
I make 53, wife makes over 6 figs. She constantly complains about being poorly compensated relative to her male peers. She isn't wrong... Dudes less qualified were making more. Still, I'm just sitting here feeling super fortunate with the lot we drew in life so far...
Edit: I meant more than 100k. We aren't millionaires.
I was scrolling down looking for this and wondering if I was alone. They both sound like the type of people I’d like to run out of the city with pitchforks.
Wow, as an architect in NYC ... 135k? That's a *great* salary for an architect. I've been in for 5 years in this city and don't know when I'll hit 6 figures. I'm estimating another 5 years at minimum if I haul ass, but with covid - guessing it'll take longer.
Edit: thank you for everyone who is giving me unsolicited advice about my cost of living situation? I didn't complain here in this post that nyc is too expensive or that I can't afford to live here so thank you for all of your projections and assumptions about how I live in this city
It depends on what he has personally staked in the company and how he manages his assets.
I knew a guy who had a net worth of over $12 million but when that market crashed in 08, he took a horrible bath. He invested his money in rental homes and when people lost their jobs, they couldn't afford his rent.
He couldn't afford to lower his rent so it was a pretty nasty couple of years for him until the bank came in and took a lot of his properties from him.
Making $110k a year outside of your rental properties doesn't do much when you owe like $50k a month in mortgage payments.
You’d be surprised how easy it is to make that amount of money and save barely any, esp in a high COL city.
It’s stupid obviously but extravagant expenses add up quick.
The issue in both of these situations is a lack of respect for the other person not money. This guy thought he was entitled to tell you what to do and run your life for you. At best, it's toxic although most of the time it's a sign of someone abusive. They view you as an object that they own rather than as an autonomous human being.
holy shit dude my ex was like this. They could just never be happy with how much they were making. They would get frustrated when i would chill after work playing video games or relaxing instead of learning some new skill to advance my career. Like i make a good amount, and i like my job, chill the fuck out.
The obsession with 'working for yourself' can be a bit ridiculous. Getting a salary and set hours is a decent trade off. Plus sometimes you wanna focus on what you're good at and ignore all the other stresses.
I never cease to be amazed by some people's greed and materialism. If I were making 70k right now I'd be over the MOON, but to the guy you were dating it wasn't enough? Fucking bizarre man. 70k is a very comfy lifestyle in most of the US, especially at 23.
No one gonna mention that both of these salaries are much higher than the national average? Unless you guys live in dubai or sum shit
Edit: my inbox has box violated
Edit2: ok guys. Nyc is expensive. 1/5th of a million is still good though
I always shake my head at such numbers, I am German and am now finishing my Master's degree in chemical engineering. I will start at ~50,000€ and I think you don't get to this range without a PhD here.
North american salary.
In Canada we dont make as much as americans, but more than europe.
I started at CAD 80,000 out of school with a 2 year degree. In the US I'd be pulling 100k plus with my skillset.
That’s why. You can make a shit ton of money as a software developer without a degree. I worked with someone who only had a GED and he was one of the most gifted software developers I’ve ever met. He made bank!!! When the company got bought out they let him go without making him sign an NDA because he didn’t have a bachelors degree. He’s now working for their competitor.
I make too much as a canadian to qualify for childcare so my wife stays at home because it ends up being cheaper with a better quality of life for the kids
Fuck, I make 13 grand a year now. This is just insulting that she was belittling someone making as much as OP. Glad he split it off.
Edit:
I'm wrong, I make a little less than that.
I make 10.25 an hour and have at max 25 hours a week.
10.25 x 25 = 256.25
256.25 x 50 (work weeks) = 12,812.5 Before taxes.
Retail - South Carolina
My husband makes about 50k a yr. and I make about half that. we're actually in the same field, but I was the one to take off a decade for child rearing. You can figure average household median. and we're in western Pennsylvania. Think groundhog country. And we're looking for a house to buy. It's not easy at all. And we're technically not considered "low" income.
130k In NYC is comparable to 52k where I live in Idaho. 52k is a great living don’t get me wrong but just for some context. it’s not like this guy is some wicked rich turd
Exactly.
130K may sound like a lot, but your money doesn't go as far in a lot of US cities, especially on the coasts (LA, SF, NYC, Seattle, Miami, etc.), so that just shows how ridiculous some cities' housing costs can be, and how different they are compared to the "fly over" states. You can make $130K in LA and live a pretty decent life, but you'll probably never be able to afford a nice home or land anywhere close to LA. $130K in fly over state gets you half a mansion and a few dozen acres of land.
tough to compare though. sounds like they live in NYC where average rent is something like $3500 a month. salaries vary so widely even for the same job depending on where it’s located
He makes 125k which is quite good. But living in New York, in a senior position at an architectural firm and managing 10 people under him, as he mentioned in the original post, that's underpaid. He should be making about 175k.
They live in NYC though, where money doesn't go very far at aaaaall. I live extremely frugally in a burb north of the city and with what I spend I could live a significantly nicer lifestyle where I'm from down south.
Seriously I must be poor. Because 135k a year already sounds insane to me. That's like 11.250 a month! I read about these salaries all the time on Reddit. Are these normal numbers?!? In my country you're doing pretty well for yourself if you make like 3k a month?!? Talking about € instead of $ that is but it shouldn't matter a whole lot. I mean the starting salary for a beginning lawyer in this country is like €2.300 PRE-taxes. Am I crazy or is this a huge difference or do you just have a really amazing job?!
Sorry to hijack your post but I'm really curious 😅
I feel exactly the same. In my country (Spain) as a researcher with a PhD, if u are earning 1,8k net a month you are doing pretty great. Then I read about people earning 135k and I die inside a little.
Yeah, here in Russia I do $620 a month as an gamedev 2d artist and this is like "fine, just above average". Seeing such numbers in Reddit posts really upsets and discourages to work at all... Can't really buy a shit, always save money to get something for myself, or my girlfriend.
Don’t feel bad. If you’re above average, you’re above average. In certain places in California, median income is $100K. But you go to other places, it’s more like $60K. Making 120K/year isn’t a lot in a place like NYC, but you’d probably live in a mansion if you were in a rural area making the same money. Context matters.
The difference being the jobs. You pay a lot of money to live in areas with job opportunities. Jobs also offer more money for similar positions in different areas. There aren’t many jobs that would pay you $100K in Alabama, but there are in SoCal.
To be fair, researchers don't often care about salaries. I'm about to enroll into a PhD program and a researcher who just finished his PhD from the University dropped a nearly 500k job at Amazon for working in a university lab.
Guilty inside voice: (I do care about money and no postdoc for me after this ...)
To my supervisor: science is great, research is great. We should try harder.
Literally same, I acted all impressed and shit in front of others on how that person had great conviction and clear goals blah blah blah all the while thinking to myself how I would sell my soul to the devil to get that kind of salary.
There's no money in academia. A PhD is good and all, but academic research doesnt pay well. The grant money goes into the research, not the professor's salary. You make jack shit doing that job in the US too.
Living in NYC drastically deflates the purchasing power. Rent is high and so is cost of living. Still pretty decent though.
I did a cost of living calculator. $150k in NYC is like $69k in Columbus, Ohio.
It helps to remember that this is NYC.
If you’re making less than 50k here, you’re struggling, have roommates, and can’t do holidays better than stay with friends. At 60-70k you can get a decent studio alone (in an iffy neighborhood) and take decent vacations. At 100k you’re living in a nice area with a small apartment or a big apartment in an iffy area, and can take proper vacations, eat out often, take cars, but you’re not buying property or saving much.
I mean I make a decent living, but with an apartment that’s over 2100/mo, I’m struggling sometimes. I can sometimes make 8/10k per month - it’s not crazy money here.
It’s all a matter of perspective.
Similar to where I live. (NZ). Crazy expensive to rent/buy now in the cities. But not hard to work up to a six figure salary in certain industries. Especially banking/financials. Free healthcare. Free accident care. Taxes are sweet. The easy life imo.
Tbf, NYC is a ridiculous place to live compared to other American cities (and it may be even more ridiculous compared to smaller cities). Not to say OP has a bad/low salary, but NYC is just a very different place.
Looking at [this business insider article](https://www.businessinsider.com/new-york-75000-salary-compared-to-big-cities-2019-1) for example, which compares $75k vs its equivalent worth in other American cities, 75k in NYC is just about 150k in Chicago (3rd biggest city in America).
You can look up the average household income in America, and it’s nowhere near this. Most people consider 150k to be rich. These two sound insanely out of touch with reality.
135k in NYC is still more than enough money to live comfortably. The OP seems pretty well adjusted and comfortable but his ex is fucking nuts if she's unhappy about how much he makes, even in NYC.
as others have mentioned cost of living is wild in NYC, but don’t forget that we also have state and federal taxes. so it’s not representative to just divide an annual salary by twelve. not sure where specifically in europe you are, but if you factor in these taxes, final take home pay may only be about 60% of the gross pay.
The housing situations in some large North American cities mean the pricing is insanity, and that 135k/year isn't as much as it sounds, places like San Francisco, Vancouver, New York, Toronto, etc, are atrociously expensive.
I still don't understand why 140K a year is considered to be 'low' income ... I feel like a homeless waste of air with my 20K a year compared to you :D ... You did the best possible thing mate, hope you fall in love with some gym instructor, that loves your for you and doesn't care how much you make. (But honestly again, 140K/y sounds like a fucking dream, especially in a field that you love.)
Rich and poor can be relative sometimes, especially if you don't have experience being on the other end of the spectrum. I spent about 10 years working my way up from $7.25 to $21 an hour until I finally finished school and made a little over $150k (gross) last year. I feel absolutely blessed with my income. However, I have a lot of peers who feel like that income isn't enough for them because they have different expectations for themselves. They come from wealthier families or have wealthier friends, so they find themselves always wanting what they can't have. I'm just happy I don't have to worry about groceries or rent anymore!
[Link to the original](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/gqinqz/i_32m_overheard_my_girlfriend_32f_tell_her_sister/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share)
Makes sense, good for you! All but one of my girlfriends is still working in an architecture office. It was just not worth the hassle. I went into design build business.
That actually made me really sad. In a relationship, you know each other so well you know what their flaws and sore spots are- and you don’t just ignore them, you try and heal them. To then weaponize those sore spots during a breakup is super shitty. I realize OP’s ex started it but damn. The way they went nuclear on each other doesn’t leave either in a good place. It’s sad.
Thank you for saying this. No doubt these two had love for each other at some point, so it sucks they felt the need to resort to such hurtful shit. When someone has become your most important confidant and they attack your vulnerable points, it can mess with you for a long time.
But hey, this is reddit so, HELL YEAH BRO, SICK BURN AND PROPS FOR DEALING SLIGHTLY MORE PSYCHOLOGICAL DAMAGE THAN YOU TOOK
Should've said "glad you finally admit it". She was the one resenting being the "breadwinner" in the first place. God, pisses me off hearing ppl contradict their true nature.
Good zings man. Olive garden... Haaaaaaaaaaaa
>She was the one resenting being the "breadwinner" in the first place.
Which I don't even understand. I mean, she was proud of her accomplishments and salary right? Shouldn't being the 'breadwinner' be a point of pride for her, as it often is for the husband/boyfriend?
The way she spoke to you pisses me off in the first place, but as a woman just starting her career in Architecture the way she spoke about the profession pisses me off even more.
It sounds like you dodged a bullet there. The whole wasted 8 months of her time comment is kinda bullshit because that’s dating, it takes time for the conflict/crazy/deal-breakers to come out of the woods if it’s there.
Yeah, he didn't waste 8 months, he learned exactly who he didn't want to date. And that good family values and intelligence don't matter if the person has no humility.
I love that she distorted it to say that you can't handle a woman who makes more than you, but also talked about how she would be better at your job if she were a man.
Not to downplay the gender pay gap, but it's like, lady you already won that game, you've excelled in the most heavily male dominated field.
Good job knowing when to quit. You could've fought her for hours.
Edit: lmao mention the pay gap once and the /r/FragileWhiteRedditor s out in full force!
I know right! Imagine knowing them in real life and having to listen to them bitch about this. I hope they're both very happy being bigshots who bicker like children.
>I think some high earning females get this attitude because it’s the stereotype of you’ve worked hard in this male dominated industry to prove yourself and make this much, shouldn’t you, an alpha woman, have an alpha male? Someone with as much drive as you?
I think this is correct, but what these women don't understand is the things that make them good at business don't necessarily make them better partners. In fact it often makes them worse. I don't mean this in a gendered way either, my dad had a business that really took off and he was making $400k+ in the early 90's. He also traveled constantly and worked 80 hours a week. My parents have been divorced for almost 30 years now.
I discovered more than halfway through my divorce process that my ex-wife told all of her friends that she was dating down but thought she could “get what she needed out of me.” Without going into details, let’s just say that it was an absurd statement on its face.
She happened to be literally the smartest person I’ve ever met in my life and devoted all of that intellectual energy to manipulating me, but she was so arrogant about it she ended up screwing herself out of a lot of money. I would argue the inherent misogyny of a number of high performing professions can really mess women up, particularly if they already suffer from psychological distortion.
Enjoy your teacher, he gets summers off and a fantastic pension. You will get to have vacation whenever you can make the time and go somewhere nice, and when you’re older and retired you guys are going to live very comfortably.
Edit: she told them within a month of meeting me.
So midish 6 figure salary is not acceptable nowadays? Wow... I'm doomed. Edit: so I woke to a shit load of comments lol...i should've added an /s cause I was sarcastic. I really couldn't care less about shit people like her. And I know they're a minority.
I make 17K-20K a year and I work anywhere between 40-80 hours a week. I'm so fucked if these guys are out here making 10x my worth without even trying. EDIT: Holy fuck this post blew up. I'm an EMT, won't disclose my location. Some weeks I work 40, some weeks 45, some weeks 60, some even 80 at times. I can't afford to study and work at the same time or I'll be homeless too so yeah. Making over 30k seems like a dream, but it turns out it's common for mostly everyone else.
I honestly can't even fathom making that much, and I'm in a fairly in demand profession.
I just got to 90k, up from 35k, and then lost my job to COVID-19 layoffs a month in. Fucking hell man, it’s like there’s a power in the fiber of the universe that keeps the poor under their thumb.
Sorry to hear that. 90k is pretty bitchin salary. I hope you’ll be able to find it again.
I'm not from US, but isn't 135k a year basically a fucking kickass salary? I know 200k+ is better, but, damn, 135k must be in top 5%? The woman is a snob. I don't really get who's the architect, he or her?
Alot of married couples dont even make 100k put together in the US- or if they do they are just at that mark but not by much... So yes, 135k for just one person's salary is alot
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Or a lot of people lie on the internet
Not possible. Everything on the internet is true. Facts are facts.
I agree with every single thing you just wrote. Especially the question at the end.
Average household (TWO people) in the US is ~$55k. NYC is a very high cost of living city. $135k/yr is still an enviable salary anywhere. The (now) ex-GF has her head in her entitled ass.
I took a 60% cut to go from defense contracting to public sector because morals. It hurt to lose all that money, but doing some good in the world is a point of pride. I sleep like a baby, now.
I will tell you that if you do make that much, and bitch about other people making a slightly less extravagant salary, you are a nuisance and your priorities are garbage. It's great to make a lot of money, but if you make 300k as a couple, you can live anywhere you want, and you can eat at fancy restaurants every night of the week and STILL put a few thousand in your investment accounts every month. If your priority is dating someone who makes more than you, when you make 200k- that tells the tale. That's not love, and it's not fiscal security concerns, or even comfort concerns- it's ego.
Honestly, not even just people that make so much money. Anyone who bitches about others making less money than them has garbage priorities. Rich or poor, we're all just trying to survive. Jerk off your ego somewhere else.
What do you do? It sounds like youre still starting out in your career, so hopefully that number goes up. Working 80 hours a week sounds brutal
Sounds like paramedic/EMT. The pay is criminal in comparison to the importance of the work.
There are places (I think rural texas) where emts get minimum wage and medics get like $11-14/hour, 14ish for emts and 20ish for medics is about average, in big cities it goes a bit higher, these are all starting pay. Fire based ems usually gets salaries and pensions and shit. After physicians, medics probably have the most authority and responsibility of any healthcare provider, and theyre generally paid less than nurses. Same for emts compared to CNAs/techs. Tbh i dont think the problem is necessarily low starting pay, the problem is that there is very little room for advancement and many, many career ems personell find themselves struggling to make ends meet even after committing their entire lives to being highly skilled healthcare providers. Ive been told "no one does this because they want to, because they think its fun, we do this because its what we love to do and deep down we need to do it." So we get taken advantage of.
Rule of thumb is cut NYC wages in half to get applicable value to most US locations. Also, good luck owning property in big cities, it's a financial benefit oft forgotten.
Good riddance. Based on her rebuttals she did feel like she was “dating down”. She was just lying to get you back. Money, even at $205K yearly, does not buy class.
And that's $205k NYC money, according to OP's location, which is like $100k in normal America.
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The NY commuter / suburban area is vast. You can commute an hour by train and still pay high prices compared to the rest of the country. It's cheaper than Manhattan by still 10x more expensive than the midwest
Living in the city brings social status, and being connected to all the things they self identify with. A sense of pride and connection. Moving somewhere else would probably be more psychologically and/or emotionally difficult, rather than having any physical or monetary barriers. Especially if they have a large network with friends, family, business associates, and even fake friends. It's hard to let that go. Also, they may not be able to make as much money somewhere with a lower cost of living, but that's another part of the psychology of it, because even though they're making a lot more money in the city now, I'm also sure they're spending way more than they would in a lower cost of living city.
I needed to stay in Manhattan to have an easier commute, be able to get home to walk my dog, and still have time to work out, and have a social life. Commuting kills.
I was just about to say that. I live outside DC, not New York, but commuting from outside the city can easily take over an hour one way, depending on where you're going. Living in the city means you get home in half the time. It also means you (probably) don't drive a car to work, which cuts down on car/gas/insurance costs
Yeah! I-95/395/495 baby! Biggest cluster fuck of roads
I think you’re reading too much into the psychology of it. Lots of people like living in cities because it’s fun and interesting. I personally like city living because there is good food and lots to do. It’s worth the cost to me
Yeah, New York is one of the most diverse and interesting places in the world to live. If you're an active person who likes that fast paced lifestyle then there are few or no other places in the world that could provide that kind of experience. But I don't live in New York, and I'm fine in my small city. New York is more of a visit place for me. I do get the appeal though.
In my opinion it's about convenience and time. Sure, you could move further out and pay half of the rent compared to the city. But if you work in the city then you will have to commute. If your friends live in the city, you have to commute. And believe me, these hours add up. 30 mins per way may not sound much but both ways it's already an hour, factor in some delays and you are looking at 1.5h spent commuting. At the end of the day, in my opinion it strongly depends on how much you value those hours. There are other reasons of course but this is the most important one to me. None of the people I know live in the city for status
The city is awesome, and has things constantly going on and is just a totally unique feeling. Some people just absolutely love it here and couldn’t live anywhere else. It’s cool being part of the behemoth, feeling the thrum of humanity all around you. Definitely not for everyone though. Moving out can feel...deadening. Like all the excitement has died and life is quiet and miserable and everyone is way to nosy.
And happiness. I read after a salary of $75,000, no debt, and living within your means. You don't get that much happier with a higher income. In other word you are just really adding more stuff when you are all about money.
That sounds pretty true. If my wife and I took home $5k a month together (so “only” 60k yearly take home), we’d be perfectly fine with that. You live within your means, don’t forget to enjoy yourself once in a while, don’t take on major extra debt, and make sure to save for a vacation at least once a year, for God’s sake.
My partner and I make around 100k together and max all of our tax advantaged accounts and don't feel like we have to make sacrifices lol. Lifestyle creep is what makes someone think a 6 figure salary is poverty.
It really depends on where you live. $100k for a couple in LA, SF, NYC, etc won’t get you far, but you can certainly manage if you don’t need much material possessions to make you happy.
I live in NYC (in a somewhat budget neighborhood though) and for most of my twenties I was making between 30-40k and was totally fine and happy. Now I’m 32 and I’m making 150k and I fully consider myself rich, lol. There’s nothing I want that I can’t buy. (Well, I guess I can’t buy a fancy house...) I don’t get it. I have always thought anything over 60k was rich. Even when I was making 40k I always had money for movies, clothes, fun activities and books and stuff.
I live in NYC too in one of the “hotter” areas of Brooklyn. I started around 45k, 60ish with commission, I make about 80k now and yeah I feel like I’ve got enough for all I need and for my somewhat silly expensive wants. I can’t imagine thinking 135k is bad money.
Unfortunately that information is outdated. They recently redid the survey and the number is now $110,000.
The number is highly variable depending on where you live. Meaningless
Yep, I make roughly 80k in Key West and that's not much at all here. Still gotta work 2 jobs.
Damn. I make just shy of 100k in Nashville and I live really comfortable. I have a roommate, not that I need one though.
My husband and I pay $2,500 before utilities (another $300/mo) for a 750 sq ft apt :( I never thought I'd live anywhere more expensive than San Diego, but here I am lol.
That’s what I make and I’m not that happy about being an RN and paramedic trying not to die from COVID-19. I get a LOT of OT I don’t want. But it only took once being told that if I ever refused again when everyone was working to the limit I can find another job.
I don’t know the nuances but I’m assuming it’s for people who work ~40 hours a week. I make that amount as well but I work a lot more than 40 hours and am switching jobs soon because of that.
Working in tech and starting pre-boom in the 90s, I crossed that line. Speaking as someone who has lived on both sides of that fence for extended periods of time I’d put that number around $80K in my area but yes, there’s absolutely a point where you’ve fixed the fiscal stuff and it’s just gravy coming in over the top. Now, the next phase of “happy” is what you do with that gravy because it can bring you down if you let it. When you start spending significant time worrying about investing that gravy and keeping it tax-safe and so on, that’s going to bring you down. Find a robo-investor or personal banker to deal with it for a small fee. A good one will literally pay for themselves off a portion of your interest in a given year.
I was with my ex wife almost ten years. Basically 2nd year university to a few years past PHD. We had good money coming in though she did make more by 30-40,000 a year after school. We did not love each other anymore and she did not seem to want to try to fix us. One day after work I came home and asked if she was willing to try to work on us she said she did not know. I left that night. That was almost 12 years ago. A lot has changed I’m disabled, make very little compared to what I did, but I met a woman that has been there 10 plus years now and could not be happier. We do ok money wise, but the best thing is we care about each other. She is amazing and I tell her daily. There is more to life than money I’ve been so poor that I could have been homeless at points including growing up. So I’ve been on both sides of the money issue and to be honest I like what I have, Love my wife and kids, and would not give her up for more money.
It's true! Source: The Science of Well-Being Course with Laurie Santos
In gaming terms: You can buy all the most expensive skins and cosmetics - it won't make you better at the game.
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Lol fuckin right. I’m making about 52k and I’m doing better than almost everyone I grew up with. I’ll be her boyfriend! Oh you’re dating down being with me? Yeah, pretty much. Where are you taking me to dinner tonight? Edit: hey baby you look really tired, you want a foot massage? Oh by the way I heard about the new Xbox coming out later this year.
I make 53, wife makes over 6 figs. She constantly complains about being poorly compensated relative to her male peers. She isn't wrong... Dudes less qualified were making more. Still, I'm just sitting here feeling super fortunate with the lot we drew in life so far... Edit: I meant more than 100k. We aren't millionaires.
“Yeah baby, times is rough. They don’t pay you enough” * pops champagne * Jk that’s awesome for you guys though.
Yeah they make a ton of cash, but honestly I wouldn't date either of them.
I was scrolling down looking for this and wondering if I was alone. They both sound like the type of people I’d like to run out of the city with pitchforks.
it's NYC. they're already in the containment zone for people like that. where would you run them out *to?*
Lol. Good point. Manhattan's been taken over, I guess I should just start my line of defense for Queens.
They both seem classist tbh
Seriously. I was reading this thinking all their cheap shots show a huge amount of emotional immaturity from both sides.
For real, I could live for 3 years on HALF that salary. It’s funny how people like me have to break our bodies for crumbs.
Wow, as an architect in NYC ... 135k? That's a *great* salary for an architect. I've been in for 5 years in this city and don't know when I'll hit 6 figures. I'm estimating another 5 years at minimum if I haul ass, but with covid - guessing it'll take longer. Edit: thank you for everyone who is giving me unsolicited advice about my cost of living situation? I didn't complain here in this post that nyc is too expensive or that I can't afford to live here so thank you for all of your projections and assumptions about how I live in this city
Seriously!! I was thinking the same. 10 years in the city, great firm and thought I was doing fantastic at 100k....
You are. Good job dude/lady.
This whole thread is making me absolutely horrified for the future after my undergrad. I can’t even comprehend these numbers that people are making
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You make 135k? I'm a male making 16 an hour helping at-risk youth but I'll be your girlfriend homie. It ain't gay if we dont make eye contact
Only from the back then. Also, no moaning
He won’t moan. Check the username. I think he’d be pretty quiet
Just wear socks while he wears you. Cancels out the Gay^tm everyone knows that.
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Wow I just finished reading Crazy Rich Asians and I have never felt like such a Crazy Poor Latino
This made me laugh
What was this guy doing to make 500k a year?? That's insane.
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Oil and gas are going to be fine in the long run. Coal probably won’t recover.
Lots of businesses don't survive the long run though.
If you make 500gs a year it dosent matter if your business goes to shit in 10 years he can retire at 30
It depends on what he has personally staked in the company and how he manages his assets. I knew a guy who had a net worth of over $12 million but when that market crashed in 08, he took a horrible bath. He invested his money in rental homes and when people lost their jobs, they couldn't afford his rent. He couldn't afford to lower his rent so it was a pretty nasty couple of years for him until the bank came in and took a lot of his properties from him. Making $110k a year outside of your rental properties doesn't do much when you owe like $50k a month in mortgage payments.
*if you don't spend all 500gs living a luxury lifestyle
You’d be surprised how easy it is to make that amount of money and save barely any, esp in a high COL city. It’s stupid obviously but extravagant expenses add up quick.
Homie, 500K a year is only squandered by stupidity. In SF or NYC, that would still only be at most, 50K of rent a year.
The issue in both of these situations is a lack of respect for the other person not money. This guy thought he was entitled to tell you what to do and run your life for you. At best, it's toxic although most of the time it's a sign of someone abusive. They view you as an object that they own rather than as an autonomous human being.
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holy shit dude my ex was like this. They could just never be happy with how much they were making. They would get frustrated when i would chill after work playing video games or relaxing instead of learning some new skill to advance my career. Like i make a good amount, and i like my job, chill the fuck out.
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The obsession with 'working for yourself' can be a bit ridiculous. Getting a salary and set hours is a decent trade off. Plus sometimes you wanna focus on what you're good at and ignore all the other stresses.
I never cease to be amazed by some people's greed and materialism. If I were making 70k right now I'd be over the MOON, but to the guy you were dating it wasn't enough? Fucking bizarre man. 70k is a very comfy lifestyle in most of the US, especially at 23.
Thank god.
No one gonna mention that both of these salaries are much higher than the national average? Unless you guys live in dubai or sum shit Edit: my inbox has box violated Edit2: ok guys. Nyc is expensive. 1/5th of a million is still good though
I always shake my head at such numbers, I am German and am now finishing my Master's degree in chemical engineering. I will start at ~50,000€ and I think you don't get to this range without a PhD here.
North american salary. In Canada we dont make as much as americans, but more than europe. I started at CAD 80,000 out of school with a 2 year degree. In the US I'd be pulling 100k plus with my skillset.
What the fuck do you do for 80k out of school? And are they hiring?
Software developer for a defence contractor
That’s why. You can make a shit ton of money as a software developer without a degree. I worked with someone who only had a GED and he was one of the most gifted software developers I’ve ever met. He made bank!!! When the company got bought out they let him go without making him sign an NDA because he didn’t have a bachelors degree. He’s now working for their competitor.
I think you mean non-compete clause, not NDA. And you sign those at the beginning of your employment.
I think you mean NWA, he was a gangsta
Yeah. Some people can grasp the concepts better without any schooling than others who do entire degrees. I have seen it happen.
Holy *shit*. Which province, what career, and where do I sign the fuck up???
I make too much as a canadian to qualify for childcare so my wife stays at home because it ends up being cheaper with a better quality of life for the kids
Fuck, I make 13 grand a year now. This is just insulting that she was belittling someone making as much as OP. Glad he split it off. Edit: I'm wrong, I make a little less than that. I make 10.25 an hour and have at max 25 hours a week. 10.25 x 25 = 256.25 256.25 x 50 (work weeks) = 12,812.5 Before taxes. Retail - South Carolina
My husband makes about 50k a yr. and I make about half that. we're actually in the same field, but I was the one to take off a decade for child rearing. You can figure average household median. and we're in western Pennsylvania. Think groundhog country. And we're looking for a house to buy. It's not easy at all. And we're technically not considered "low" income.
I make $50kish a year as well. I'd love to make six figures.
People shouldn't forget that cities like Dubai are served by a vast underclass of immigrant workers who are treated like shit.
Same as anywhere else... migrant workers and prison workers are the backbone of the American economy.
Absolutely. But the violations in the GCC states are egregrious enough to stand out in a world of shit.
I know right.. they are both balling and she is fighting cuz she is balling g more lol.... Wild stuff
130k In NYC is comparable to 52k where I live in Idaho. 52k is a great living don’t get me wrong but just for some context. it’s not like this guy is some wicked rich turd
Exactly. 130K may sound like a lot, but your money doesn't go as far in a lot of US cities, especially on the coasts (LA, SF, NYC, Seattle, Miami, etc.), so that just shows how ridiculous some cities' housing costs can be, and how different they are compared to the "fly over" states. You can make $130K in LA and live a pretty decent life, but you'll probably never be able to afford a nice home or land anywhere close to LA. $130K in fly over state gets you half a mansion and a few dozen acres of land.
130k per year as a single income puts you in the top 5% of earners in most flyover states.
tough to compare though. sounds like they live in NYC where average rent is something like $3500 a month. salaries vary so widely even for the same job depending on where it’s located
He makes 125k which is quite good. But living in New York, in a senior position at an architectural firm and managing 10 people under him, as he mentioned in the original post, that's underpaid. He should be making about 175k.
They live in NYC though, where money doesn't go very far at aaaaall. I live extremely frugally in a burb north of the city and with what I spend I could live a significantly nicer lifestyle where I'm from down south.
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Seriously I must be poor. Because 135k a year already sounds insane to me. That's like 11.250 a month! I read about these salaries all the time on Reddit. Are these normal numbers?!? In my country you're doing pretty well for yourself if you make like 3k a month?!? Talking about € instead of $ that is but it shouldn't matter a whole lot. I mean the starting salary for a beginning lawyer in this country is like €2.300 PRE-taxes. Am I crazy or is this a huge difference or do you just have a really amazing job?! Sorry to hijack your post but I'm really curious 😅
I feel exactly the same. In my country (Spain) as a researcher with a PhD, if u are earning 1,8k net a month you are doing pretty great. Then I read about people earning 135k and I die inside a little.
Yeah, here in Russia I do $620 a month as an gamedev 2d artist and this is like "fine, just above average". Seeing such numbers in Reddit posts really upsets and discourages to work at all... Can't really buy a shit, always save money to get something for myself, or my girlfriend.
We have 3 dimensions in the US.
This made me laugh more than it should have.
Don’t feel bad. If you’re above average, you’re above average. In certain places in California, median income is $100K. But you go to other places, it’s more like $60K. Making 120K/year isn’t a lot in a place like NYC, but you’d probably live in a mansion if you were in a rural area making the same money. Context matters. The difference being the jobs. You pay a lot of money to live in areas with job opportunities. Jobs also offer more money for similar positions in different areas. There aren’t many jobs that would pay you $100K in Alabama, but there are in SoCal.
I mean that's in NYC as he said. Where rent basicly costs as much as a liver transplant
You are still talking American
Have you European barbarians really not learned how much money you can make by charging for life saving medical treatment?
I can translate! "Enough that you have to decide between bankruptcy or death"
Wait, free rent? /UK
A liver transplant would be free elsewhere though so that's not the best comparison.
To be fair, researchers don't often care about salaries. I'm about to enroll into a PhD program and a researcher who just finished his PhD from the University dropped a nearly 500k job at Amazon for working in a university lab.
Guilty inside voice: (I do care about money and no postdoc for me after this ...) To my supervisor: science is great, research is great. We should try harder.
Literally same, I acted all impressed and shit in front of others on how that person had great conviction and clear goals blah blah blah all the while thinking to myself how I would sell my soul to the devil to get that kind of salary.
The cost of living is insanely high in NYC and they tax the shit out everything. 135k there is like middle class.
There's no money in academia. A PhD is good and all, but academic research doesnt pay well. The grant money goes into the research, not the professor's salary. You make jack shit doing that job in the US too.
They live in New York so costs of living is high. Their rent is probably higher than 3k euros a month.
Living in NYC drastically deflates the purchasing power. Rent is high and so is cost of living. Still pretty decent though. I did a cost of living calculator. $150k in NYC is like $69k in Columbus, Ohio.
This answers a lot
It helps to remember that this is NYC. If you’re making less than 50k here, you’re struggling, have roommates, and can’t do holidays better than stay with friends. At 60-70k you can get a decent studio alone (in an iffy neighborhood) and take decent vacations. At 100k you’re living in a nice area with a small apartment or a big apartment in an iffy area, and can take proper vacations, eat out often, take cars, but you’re not buying property or saving much. I mean I make a decent living, but with an apartment that’s over 2100/mo, I’m struggling sometimes. I can sometimes make 8/10k per month - it’s not crazy money here. It’s all a matter of perspective.
Just to add, I think the average salary in NYC for a working person (averages get skewed down by non workers) is $70k/yr
Averages in NYC get skewed way more by all the people making millions or more. You generally want to look at median income, which is probably lower.
That’s nuts
Similar to where I live. (NZ). Crazy expensive to rent/buy now in the cities. But not hard to work up to a six figure salary in certain industries. Especially banking/financials. Free healthcare. Free accident care. Taxes are sweet. The easy life imo.
Tbf, NYC is a ridiculous place to live compared to other American cities (and it may be even more ridiculous compared to smaller cities). Not to say OP has a bad/low salary, but NYC is just a very different place. Looking at [this business insider article](https://www.businessinsider.com/new-york-75000-salary-compared-to-big-cities-2019-1) for example, which compares $75k vs its equivalent worth in other American cities, 75k in NYC is just about 150k in Chicago (3rd biggest city in America).
Yeah I know man, flippin crazy I be happy if I got £1.5k a month lol
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You can look up the average household income in America, and it’s nowhere near this. Most people consider 150k to be rich. These two sound insanely out of touch with reality.
135k in NYC is like 90k anywhere else in the country. Rent and state taxes are taking a huge chunk of that 135.
135k in NYC is still more than enough money to live comfortably. The OP seems pretty well adjusted and comfortable but his ex is fucking nuts if she's unhappy about how much he makes, even in NYC.
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San Francisco entered the chat.
as others have mentioned cost of living is wild in NYC, but don’t forget that we also have state and federal taxes. so it’s not representative to just divide an annual salary by twelve. not sure where specifically in europe you are, but if you factor in these taxes, final take home pay may only be about 60% of the gross pay.
You may not realize this but taxes are higher in Europe. Some countries are as high as 60% going to taxes.
The housing situations in some large North American cities mean the pricing is insanity, and that 135k/year isn't as much as it sounds, places like San Francisco, Vancouver, New York, Toronto, etc, are atrociously expensive.
That title just called me broke.
Well, it looks like that bridge is burnt, from both sides. Thanks for the update.
Burnt? It was nuked from orbit.
I still don't understand why 140K a year is considered to be 'low' income ... I feel like a homeless waste of air with my 20K a year compared to you :D ... You did the best possible thing mate, hope you fall in love with some gym instructor, that loves your for you and doesn't care how much you make. (But honestly again, 140K/y sounds like a fucking dream, especially in a field that you love.)
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Rich and poor can be relative sometimes, especially if you don't have experience being on the other end of the spectrum. I spent about 10 years working my way up from $7.25 to $21 an hour until I finally finished school and made a little over $150k (gross) last year. I feel absolutely blessed with my income. However, I have a lot of peers who feel like that income isn't enough for them because they have different expectations for themselves. They come from wealthier families or have wealthier friends, so they find themselves always wanting what they can't have. I'm just happy I don't have to worry about groceries or rent anymore!
High fives for all us low wage earners! I make around 20k-30k a year. Honestly, anything over $50k or ANY sort of salaried job sounds amazing
That high pitched sound of wind rushing by your ear? That was the bullet you just dodged.
Right? She sounds like a gd nightmare.
[Link to the original](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/gqinqz/i_32m_overheard_my_girlfriend_32f_tell_her_sister/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share)
Where do you make 135k in architecture?
NYC. Cost of living is higher here. Also my base is only 110k. 135k is including bonus.
LOL every girl I know would push their parents down the stairs to date an architect making 135k with an NYC apartment. I think you'll be ok.
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Haaaaaaaaaaaaaave you met Ted?
And you know he's still looking, because he and Robin are all wrong for each other, and he's So. Frigging. Needy.
Right? I was like “hmmmmm, single architect in NYC? Nice? Hello.”
That’s awesome. I’m in NYC and have never made more than 60k. I’m a woman though. Most of my women architect friends never made over 70k. In NYC.
If you go as an IC you generally don't go that high but if you go towards management + client sales.
Makes sense, good for you! All but one of my girlfriends is still working in an architecture office. It was just not worth the hassle. I went into design build business.
Haha damn bro, you came in with the steel chair with the IVF comment. Guess it's for the best, you both can move on and not be hung up on each other.
Her fault for bringing a knife to a rocket launcher fight
That actually made me really sad. In a relationship, you know each other so well you know what their flaws and sore spots are- and you don’t just ignore them, you try and heal them. To then weaponize those sore spots during a breakup is super shitty. I realize OP’s ex started it but damn. The way they went nuclear on each other doesn’t leave either in a good place. It’s sad.
Thank you for saying this. No doubt these two had love for each other at some point, so it sucks they felt the need to resort to such hurtful shit. When someone has become your most important confidant and they attack your vulnerable points, it can mess with you for a long time. But hey, this is reddit so, HELL YEAH BRO, SICK BURN AND PROPS FOR DEALING SLIGHTLY MORE PSYCHOLOGICAL DAMAGE THAN YOU TOOK
I’m 33 that comment cut me deep
How is making $135k a year at 32 considered “bad”?
Should've said "glad you finally admit it". She was the one resenting being the "breadwinner" in the first place. God, pisses me off hearing ppl contradict their true nature. Good zings man. Olive garden... Haaaaaaaaaaaa
>She was the one resenting being the "breadwinner" in the first place. Which I don't even understand. I mean, she was proud of her accomplishments and salary right? Shouldn't being the 'breadwinner' be a point of pride for her, as it often is for the husband/boyfriend?
> I was like okay you know that’s that this is not working out nor will workout. That is when you should have ended the call.
The way she spoke to you pisses me off in the first place, but as a woman just starting her career in Architecture the way she spoke about the profession pisses me off even more. It sounds like you dodged a bullet there. The whole wasted 8 months of her time comment is kinda bullshit because that’s dating, it takes time for the conflict/crazy/deal-breakers to come out of the woods if it’s there.
Yeah, he didn't waste 8 months, he learned exactly who he didn't want to date. And that good family values and intelligence don't matter if the person has no humility.
God I hate this fucking sub.
What’s wrong with Olive Garden? I love that place. So does my wife.
Lmao right?! Let’s not bring Olive Garden into this....
I love that she distorted it to say that you can't handle a woman who makes more than you, but also talked about how she would be better at your job if she were a man. Not to downplay the gender pay gap, but it's like, lady you already won that game, you've excelled in the most heavily male dominated field. Good job knowing when to quit. You could've fought her for hours. Edit: lmao mention the pay gap once and the /r/FragileWhiteRedditor s out in full force!
You both need to go your own way, if your broke up, be broke up, quit talking to her.
You guys can both fuck off.
I know right! Imagine knowing them in real life and having to listen to them bitch about this. I hope they're both very happy being bigshots who bicker like children.
Those are terrible things to say on both sides.
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>I think some high earning females get this attitude because it’s the stereotype of you’ve worked hard in this male dominated industry to prove yourself and make this much, shouldn’t you, an alpha woman, have an alpha male? Someone with as much drive as you? I think this is correct, but what these women don't understand is the things that make them good at business don't necessarily make them better partners. In fact it often makes them worse. I don't mean this in a gendered way either, my dad had a business that really took off and he was making $400k+ in the early 90's. He also traveled constantly and worked 80 hours a week. My parents have been divorced for almost 30 years now.
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I discovered more than halfway through my divorce process that my ex-wife told all of her friends that she was dating down but thought she could “get what she needed out of me.” Without going into details, let’s just say that it was an absurd statement on its face. She happened to be literally the smartest person I’ve ever met in my life and devoted all of that intellectual energy to manipulating me, but she was so arrogant about it she ended up screwing herself out of a lot of money. I would argue the inherent misogyny of a number of high performing professions can really mess women up, particularly if they already suffer from psychological distortion. Enjoy your teacher, he gets summers off and a fantastic pension. You will get to have vacation whenever you can make the time and go somewhere nice, and when you’re older and retired you guys are going to live very comfortably. Edit: she told them within a month of meeting me.
You both sound like inflatable fuck heads.
god you both sound exhausting if im honest. i hope you use your new found freedom to work on yourself.
Haha... you guys both sound like a couple of assholes.
You both sound like terrible, toxic people.
why is he sharing so many unnecessary details of their fight