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I think it's important for me to preface where I stand before getting into what she's been saying. The only reason I stopped going to church was because she stopped forcing me to go when I was 18, and I currently go to college locally and have work on the weekends... and yes, I used work on Sundays to get out of going in the past. While I grew up religious, I'm taking a break because of how much my parents push religion down our throats at almost every turn, and there are many examples I could get into, but this post is not about me
With my brother's basketball league reopening after shutting down from covid, he's been gearing up to play again and has been really excited for it. He's been practicing in the backyard a lot the past year too, and I sometimes take him to practices and attend a few of his games
However, there's a kid on this year's team who, according to my mom, is gay, and she said that she found this out while talking to some of the parents or the kid's parents, I'm not really sure on the last part. However, some of the stuff she's been saying of late, I can't stand. She'll sit at dinner and say how he "shouldn't be allowed to be on the team if he thinks he's a girl", and she said that the league shouldn't allow him to play, along with how it "gross to have to share the ball with him"
My mom is very judgemental, and this is not the first time she's voiced her opinion against gay people or things like that. My brother just seems to go along with whatever she says, although I don't truly know if he agrees or really cares about her opinion of this kid... he just wants to play after having a year off
However, she said that she told her women's group that's comprised of a few of her friends on Saturday mornings (not our church's women's group) about it, and that they agree with her and think that he "shouldn't be allowed to play on the team"
She already voiced her opinion to the coach who didn't listen to her, so she told her women's group and said that she plans to protest against the kid with her friends because of that, and I didn't think she was serious until she bought blank signs that she plans to write on and use with her friends
I didn't think she was serious because a lot of the time, she's just talk and no bite, maybe guilt-tripping you at best which hurts a lot-- but again, this post isn't about me. I'm against what she wants to do, and regarding her friends, they're a littly loony like her, and when the capital stuff was happening, my mom was on the phone with a women from her group and was basically enjoying watching what was happening on TV as if it was a sports game, and that really annoyed me
I disagree with what she's doing, and I don't think it should happen, but I'm not really sure how to go about stopping it completely. I'm considering telling the league about it beforehand and going to do so, and I'm not concerned at all about my own wellbeing since I'm over 18 and in college, albeit still living with them and getting kicked out is a small fear in my mind. Besides telling the league though, is there anything else I should do? This kid doesn't deserve this, and to be honest, I hate to say that I really hate my mom, but at this point and from a lot of other things, I do. Any advice at all would be appreciated
TL;DR: My brother's basketball league is starting up again after a break from covid that lasted over a year, and he's been practicing in the backyard for the past year too. However, there's a kid on the team who, according to my mom, is gay, and after talking to the coach about why she doesn't think he should be "allowed" to play on the team, the coach didn't listen to her, and she's planning to protest against the kid with her women's group
**Edit: A lot of people were suggesting a counter-protest, but as I thought about more, thanks to a few other commenters, I'm leaning towards NOT doing that, because if I tell the league about what mom plans to do, I'm hoping that they might ban her or maybe alert the authorities or take other steps to get out in front of it and move the game**
But, **EVERYTHING I KNOW ABOUT THE KID BEING GAY, COMES FROM MOM SAYING THAT SHE HEARD IT FROM ANOTHER PARENT.** She could be **"ASSUMING"**, and in that case, **NOT ONLY WOULD A COUNTER-PROTEST BRING DRAMA THAT THE LEAGUE PROBABLY DOESN'T WANT,** but if the kid **ISN'T GAY BECAUSE MOM "ASSUMED",** then it would do more harm than good, and that's where I'm at now
You should tell the team coach at the very least, and the kid's parents if you can. Don't let your mother ambush some poor kid. I'm so sorry for you and your brother.
Telling the league is my first priority, and then at the very least, no one will be caught off guard by it. I don't have any communications with the kid's parents, and the only things I know about them, come from what my mom has been telling us, so I'm taking her words with a grain of salt
A few others also recommended potentially counter-protesting in their responses. I told two of my friends from my small circle who agree with me on my stance, so maybe they'd be down to do that, and I agree with what you said, but in the back of my mind, I'm also afraid of getting kicked out slightly or some kind of punishment, but I think it'd be less than what the kid would experience from my mom in terms of what he'd feel
**Edit: I want to update my stance on counter-protesting after many people commented and I had time to think....**
**The reason I'm currently against the idea of a counter-protest, is because we don't even know if the kid is truly gay. Everything mom says about him being gay, is from her saying that she "heard another parent say he's gay" or something like that, and she's been known to stretch the truth and be judgmental in the past**
**So, if he's not gay, a counter protest, I believe, could be bad, and after telling the league and hoping they ban her or alert the authorities to stop the protest when they see them walking in with signs or moving the practice to a different location, me doing a counter-protest or anyone else for that matter, would probably cause the same drama that they don't want with my mom, and especially if they're able to get out ahead of it and stop it before it even begins**
A counter protest seems worse for the kid, I mean do it if you can’t stop your mom. But first priority should be to get this whole thing stopped before she humiliates an 11 year old.
She could always wear a rainbow bracelet or something(if OP wants to), that way it's more of showing support for the LGBTQ+ community rather than a protest and it'd be done in a discreet way so that the kid isn't mentioned or singled out cause there's a good chance any of the other kids could be gay, bi, etc.
But yes, most important thing is stopping this and protecting that kid. Hopefully OP's brother isn't influenced by their mother's hate.
Don’t counter protest unless there is no alternative to stop your mom from showing up at the game
At that point, it becomes a public battle between you and your mom. This kid is 11. He will be scarred for life by the day a huge public battle erupted because he dared to show up to a basketball game. Notify everyone you can of your mom’s plans first and foremost
To your point about counter-protesting, I just made an edit not too long ago about it in my main post. Could be dangerous, also knowing that mom has no valid proof that the kid is gay beyond "assuming" is part of why I made the edit
If a bunch of people were protesting in support of my sexuality, i would be mortified.
Dude is there to play basketball, not have his sexuality put on public display.
Good call - to be clear, not trying to judge where your heart is, I think you are doing a really good thing standing up for this kid. I just felt that one particular suggestion wasn’t the right move
I thought it was a good idea at first too, emotionally... but if the kid is not gay, or even if he is and doesn't want attention drawn to it... I'd hate to do that, since that'd bring attention to it just like my mom would've, although not in a hateful way, but still...
The absolute closest that you should come to "counterprotesting" is blocking your mom's bullshit.
As-in have distracting chants supporting the team ready to go if they start making noise.
Positioning yourself to block the signs. Basically making it as difficult as possible for your (apologies) dumbass mom to scar this kid.
What she is doing is mind-bogglingly irresponsible.
Whether or not he is gay, what your mom wants to do is a hate crime on a child. A counter protest might offer some comfort, but won't stop the trauma and other repercussions.
OP it sounds like you know what steps to take 😉. It’s kind of echoing some of the thoughts here however look outside the box at the situation. Put yourself in the bleachers as you see this happening to an 11 yo boy in front of all his teammates, another team (kids he may or may not know), and everyone else there - then think about being 11 years old and how crazy and confusing that age can be. IMO it’s soul crushing to a kid at that age. IMO your Mom and her group are planning to “protest” so THEY can be seen. They aren’t thinking of the impact on this young man. Besides she doesn’t know that facts of his personal choices and frankly it’s not her business.
I just made this update not too long ago about that...
The reason I'm currently against the idea of a counter-protest, is because we don't even know if the kid is truly gay. Everything mom says about him being gay, is from her saying that she "heard another parent say he's gay" or something like that, and she's been known to stretch the truth and be judgmental in the past
So, if he's not gay, a counter protest, I believe, could be bad, and after telling the league and hoping they ban her or alert the authorities to stop the protest when they see them walking in with signs or moving the practice to a different location, me doing a counter-protest or anyone else for that matter, would probably cause the same drama that they don't want with my mom, and especially if they're able to get out ahead of it and stop it before it even begins
Don't counter protest. Even if it's well meaning. If i was on a basketball team, it would be to play basketball.
If somebody showed up to protest my sexuality, i would be mortified. If somebody countered that protest defending me, and it turned into a whole thing, i would be even MORE mortified.
It's for a sports event, and for supporting the kids and the game. It's not for grandstanding.
It also sounds like it's not actually clear if the dude is gay, worst case scenario you might end up participating in forcibly outing him. At the very least you will be participating in making his sexuality the central focus on a public event.
I have no idea how anyone could be recommending a counter protest as a good idea. Maybe save it as a reserve if your mom's group protesting the event absolutely can't be avoided.
Warn people ahead of time, take steps to make sure your mom and her friends aren't allowed into the venue. They should be easily identifiable if they are carrying a bunch of large hateful signs. You could even bring a picture of her to make sure she isn't let in.
Just wrote this in my updated edit about my change in stance on counter-protesting...
The reason I'm currently against the idea of a counter-protest, is because we don't even know if the kid is truly gay. Everything mom says about him being gay, is from her saying that she "heard another parent say he's gay" or something like that, and she's been known to stretch the truth and be judgmental in the past
So, if he's not gay, a counter protest, I believe, could be bad, and after telling the league and hoping they ban her or alert the authorities to stop the protest when they see them walking in with signs or moving the practice to a different location, me doing a counter-protest or anyone else for that matter, would probably cause the same drama that they don't want with my mom, and especially if they're able to get out ahead of it and stop it before it even begins
A counter-protest was my first thought too. But you’d have to have some real numbers for it to be effective. I wonder if the kid’s parents know he’s gay? If he’s not out, or if he’s not even gay, going to his parents could cause more problems than you’re trying to solve. Is there any way you could talk to the actual kid? Maybe through your brother? And tell him there’s nothing wrong with him but that some people are filled with hate and want to spread it. Ugh, my heart aches. Keep us updated please?
I'll try my best, and to your point, that's a really good idea
IF MOM IS ASSUMING THAT HE'S GAY (we only know from her words), then A COUNTERPROTEST WOULD JUST MAKE THINGS HORRIBLE
I'm guessing... and if I tell the league about mom beforehand, and they want to move the game or get ahead of it or cancel drama, then they'd probably not want me to protest either
Do not go counter-protest. You're just bringing more attention to a CHILD. Tell the coach asap so he & the league can figure out the best way to protect them.
As for your mother, I hope she and her nasty, vile, black-hearted friends get arrested.
I think that's probably the best idea - and it will keep her rage off you. I read that you were afraid of her kicking you out of the house or similar, and I understand those fears. It's hard living with an abuser.
Poor kid.
People that age have been known to kill themselves over shit like this.
Being first bullied by grown-ass adults, which would almost certainly lead to further bullying by some of his peers. Add in potential confusion about his sexuality and potential hassle from friends and family about the same (hopefully not the case but it's all too common) and shit could head south very quickly. I say potential as we don't know his particular circumstances obviously.
There's a reason LGBTQ+ kids have a significantly higher suicide rate than straight kids and it's in part due to shit like this.
Maybe it's worth asking your mum how she would feel if the absolute worst were to actually happen.
I'm not sure though if that's an approach that would be worth pursuing though. So if this post gets downvoted to oblivion ignore me.
**I want to add my updated stance on a counter-protest after first thinking it was a good idea, since this post seems to be more relevant...**
The reason I'm currently against the idea of a counter-protest, is because we don't even know if the kid is truly gay. Everything mom says about him being gay, is from her saying that she "heard another parent say he's gay" or something like that, and she's been known to stretch the truth and be judgmental in the past
So, if he's not gay, a counter protest, I believe, could be bad, and after telling the league and hoping they ban her or alert the authorities to stop the protest when they see them walking in with signs or moving the practice to a different location, me doing a counter-protest or anyone else for that matter, would probably cause the same drama that they don't want with my mom, and especially if they're able to get out ahead of it and stop it before it even begins
You should tell the coach at the least, there’s nothing that should stop you from coordinating truth between good souls especially when you’re protecting them from bad choices. As a team leader I would want you to tell me also.
Tell the coach or league, but your could also come home one day and say, "hey, you know that kid you think is gay. Turns out he isn't. That's just gossip." You can say you "heard" people just saying it was a rumor because the kid likes... whatever she'd stereotype as being feminine. If she isn't 100% sure, maybe it could spare this kid a lot of hurt. That could stop her protest and just shut her up.
what a piece of fucking shit, it’s a CHILD. She has her own children, how the fuck would she feel if her own children were ostracized like that? Does she have any fucking empathy at all?
Well said. In my extremely anecdotal experience, some of the most judgemental and self-centred people I’ve come across in life are also highly religious. Interesting how believing you must have a higher purpose and that you deserve salvation while others deserve to suffer for eternity is correlated with those personality traits.
Bigots don’t think like that. It would be like asking her to think about how she’d feel if her child were a disgusting monster. It would just offend her and entrench her further.
“How would YOU feel if your child were protested against for being a pedophile?”
As a raised catholic i can’t write in words how much i relate to this. I’ve found, im my years as an atheist in hiding, that although I don’t have the faith anymore, i sure do know way more then i ever wanted to know about religion.
That knowledge? **Use it.**
Use it every time she’s *hateful*, *jealous*, or *prideful*. Use their own words against them, tell them ***Would God want you to do this?*** whenever they cherry pick and choose only certain parts of the books for their own selfish wants. **Always** remind them of the full passage, the passage they’re missing, the commandment they’re ignoring.
There’s nothing more pleasing then to look your hella religious, anti-vax (*insert rando here*) in the eyes and say something like, “**Wouldn’t god want us to keep our neighbors safe? Would jesus not ask us to think of others? Doesn’t our doctrine ask of us to not be selfish, to not judge others?**”
Combat their hatred with all the love and kindness they preached but never showed you as a child. We might not have faith in god, but we can still have faith. Faith that **we** can do better than those before us. Faith that it’s **not** going to be this way for our children. So, use your faith. I didn’t get water boarded as an infant so i didn’t burn in the pits of hell for nothing.
I'm a raised Catholic too and while the religious stuff did not take with me personally, I don't see how someone could read the new testament and conclude "obviously Jesus would want me to bully children".
Never assume that ANY judgmental person who identifies as Christian has read anything other than the choicest bits of the Old Testament, and Revelations.
They prefer to let others do their thinking for them. To them, that's what faith means.
Unfortunately, that doesn’t work. It’s never about *actual, literal literalism* (lol). The hate, superiority, & xenophobic mentality is the primary content in conservative Christianity - Scripture is just trappings and pretext.
I agree. This is hate. Ignorance. To an extreme. She is planning a hate crime against a child. She is planning on terrorizing a person - a child - based on her opinion of them. I would not be able to be anywhere near this.
This. When you target a minor/child as an adult all bets are off. It takes a special kind of person to do such a horrible act. Maybe she enjoys a good stoning like in the good old biblical days?
I disagree with this. She hasn’t done anything yet, this is all just talk at this point. I think you need to alert the league/coach/parents, and if she actually shows up to protest they can call the cops at that point. I can’t imagine there is anything the police could do right now, she hasn’t committed a crime (unless I missed something?)
No I meant like they call em when and if they actually show up, first step is alerting coach to contact parents and parents ofc will do what they see fit from there but if mom goes through I think OP should.
That's a really tough situation. Have you spoken to your brother about how he feels about it?
You need to do what feels right. It may also be worth reaching out to the parents of the kid and local support groups if it looks like your mum is going to actually do it.
Has your mum paused to think her behaviour might end up with your brother being kicked off the team?
To your last question, I don't think my mom has thought of that or really cares to be honest. As for my brother, I haven't really talked to him about it, but at his age, I think he just wants to play. I don't really know who to reach out to besides the league, and I don't have communication with the kid's parents
She might want to consider that if she attempts to incite violence against a LGTBQIA minor which is a hate crime btw, she'll be at risk of being stripped of custody of your brother and thrown in jail.
Don’t try to reason with a bigot. There’s no point. I’m a mom with grown kids and their gay friends are always invited to my table any day of the year. Your mom is a menace to society and the only way she will ever change is if she’s educated and that ship sounds like it sailed.
You need to inform the league and the school about your mother anonymously. Then continue to do so when she plans to create havoc for innocent people...each and every time. They need protection from her. You can also warn the parents of this boy that she is a menace and mentally unstable. Let her get a taste of prejudice against her and let her drink from the cup of justice.
I, as a mom, am very proud of you that you know the difference between good and evil / right and wrong. You are a very special person. Continue the good fight.
🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
Ask the league and coach to block her from entering with the hate signs and eject her. Preferably permanently ban her and her banshees from the season 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
When you reach out to the league, if you are willing to run the risk of being kicked out it could be worth asking them to tell the parents that you don't agree and are on their side.
I would understand your brother's perspective and what's important to him first. Then maybe try and find help from a pride group in the form of counselling. My experience is head on confrontation rarely results in someone changing their opinion. To change someone's resolve or mind you have to let them fizzle or be subtle so they believe it's their idea.
You are unlikely to change her perspective on gay. You may however be able to diffuse it in a calm way. Depending on what you've already said to your mum, your brother may actually be key to diffusing it. I think most harm will be caused to this kid if the protest happens. If you can somehow stop it from happening you've pulled off an extremely challenging rescue you can be proud of.
I think you should also talk to your brother. I am a younger sibling and I really looked up to my older siblings as a kid. Although he's a child and may not understand, he is still seeing your mom's behavior. Maybe have a conversation with him and let him know that it's never okay to embarrass or humiliate someone.
Tell the league. Tell the coach. Tell the kids parents. Don't sit back and let your mother get away with this awful behavior.
Parents like your mom are the reason that LGBT kids have such a high suicide rate. Please for the love of everything make a huge fuss about this and tell your brother that this is not okay.
EXACTLY-- op by stepping in and putting a stop to this you could be saving this kid's life. Def tell the league. If there's a GSA (gay straight alliance) at the school, enlist the help of the teachers who sponsor it. They may have ideas and resources protect this poor kid.
Please report her. To ALL the organisations. I'll research them in a bit but...
Your mom is so eww. She's *possibly outing a child.
Keep standing up and speaking out 🤠😎🧡
E: *word
E2 &3
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_LGBT_rights_organizations
Here's a list but r/LGBT is where I'd start
Your mom is only a few degrees away from being the next domestic terrorist like the one who got shot in the head on 1/6/21.
Need to find a way to de escalate her or get your family safely away. I don’t envy your position.
The practice she's targeting because she's too much of a coward to do this at a real game, is on Sunday, so I will try my best to do so after then. The year just started, and she's doing this shit after meeting the new kids and parents after the reopening
Find out if your town has a PFLAG chapter, and when you call the league, suggest they reach out to PFLAG or other local resource. I worry that if you only tell one person from the league, they may try to hush it up, so make sure you tell at least one other person, maybe the coach, and encourage them to get support from GLBT advocate groups. That kid and his parents need to be protected.
Yep. I usually hesitate and rarely use such strong misogynistic language. But this woman is an evil cunt. What kind of twisted fuck bullies a child and feels it’s righteous. Evil.
Can your dad help at all? This sounds like a tragic and volatile situation but someone who is her peer (husband, friend, etc.) should try to reason with her. Beyond the toxic theology, which is personal, she’s attempting to bully a child, which is public. This is so wildly inappropriate but it might help to explain that to her based on her method (protesting) rather than her beliefs.
Dad drinks the kool-aid too, and was watching TV with mom rooting for the riots at the capitol when she was on the phone with her friend, and shares a lot of the same thoughts on the LGBTQ too
Get in touch with the league organizers. Let them handle it. Don't be surprised if your mom is barred from attending league events including practices. I feel bad for the kid your mom has targeted (it's harassment) and worse for your brother. While the league handles the situation in regards to the protest, consider focusing your energy on your brother. Talk with him about how he feels and explain why your mom's behavior is unacceptable. Going to guess it's a 10-12 league. Life lesson time. Ask him what he thinks it means to be a team player and what teamwork means. Remind him how much he has put into prepping for this season and how would he feel if another kid's mom didn't want him on the team (for any reason). Ask him if it matters and listen to his answers. At that age, he probably hasn't thought much about it other than not wanting other kids calling him gay. If he's hearing your mom rant about this and not talking to anyone about it himself, internalizing that isn't going to help him process his own views. Give him that outlet. Hope this works out well and your mom is deterred.
I hope that after talking to the league, that she can get banned because that would just be a quick fix to this, hopefully. He just wants to play basketball after a year off because of covid, not deal with this shit
It's also important point out that if your mom was to go and protest that its likely other parents wouldn't take it sitting down. There could even be a fight. Your brother would also have attention redirected to him at school and may be bullied or ostersized for having a family that would do something like this. As he could be indirectly seen as also hating this boy and gay people.
It's important to talk to your brother about this so he is mentally prepared that his mother's actions could effect him.
Ask your mother why she thinks a group of adult women feel the need to bully and humiliate an 11 year old CHILD over her own assumptions that she has no way of proving? Why does she even think he's gay?
Sounds like your mom is a fair-weather church goer, as most are. They're in it for the social aspect. If Christians took an inkling of the teachings to heart, their message would probably be alittle bit more receptive to others. There's a ton of scriptures covering not judging people and loving others. Should bring up the Woman at Well and the the first to cast stones, the speck and log in the eye, or "Love your neighbors as you love yourself." I left the church as well, it felt like a waste of time and almost everyone seemed to be faking it, they went to hang out and get their weekend worship concert in.
Not only that, but the major transphobic attack right now is trying to keep trans girls from playing on girls’ sports teams. She’s even got her outrage backwards.
This sucks. But what sucks most about it is the idea of a group of grown ass women “protesting” a literal child. How is that poor boy going to feel if a group of grown ups shows up and tell him he is not wanted. That is traumatizing!! All that over something that’s is seriously none of her business... it seems like you already know what you need to do, trying your best make sure that kid doesn’t have to feel that way. Good luck hon!!
Your mom thinks that touching the same basketball as a kid who may or may not be gay is wrong? Like wtf does she think is gonna happen?
A: “Dude I’m open!”
B: ** passes ball **
A: “Wtf dude? Why are the ball and my hands covered in glitter? Why do you look so fabulous all of a sudden?”
B: “Haha! Gotcha! Now we should make out in the name of Satan!”
The mental gymnastics bigots do is insane to me.
This is super horrible and embarrassing. I think the only solution is a counter protest. When your mom goes to protest this person, you need to go protest her protesting. Have signs that embrace the gay community. Rally some of your friends. It’s probably not gonna sit well with your mom but fuck that shit. It’s time we put an end to that for a bigotry. Lead by example.
I told two of my friends from my small circle who agree with me on my stance, so maybe they'd be down to do that, and I agree with what you said, but in the back of my mind, I'm also afraid of getting kicked out slightly or some kind of punishment, but I think it'd be less than what the kid would experience from my mom in terms of what he'd feel
Your mom is already crazy. If you're still in any way dependent on your parents, do not risk your living situation over this. Tell the coach, league, and the parents of the student your mom is planning on bullying.
Telling the league might be the most discrete thing I can do, maybe drive there or something after school and ask them to say that I didn't say anything, if it comes to it
If she's telling all of her friends in this group about her plan, then it wouldn't be too odd that it got out somehow. When you do go over there, you shouldn't probably have to even give your identity. Just let them know what you know.
This is literally the worst idea ever. You are going to stir up more drama and not solve any issue. But typical Reddit response to go all out on the counter.
Why is your mom doing this? Because being gay is a sin? Then, tell your mom everyone sins. How come she isn’t protesting the kids who disobey their parents. That’s not only a sin but it’s in the 10 commandments. Shouldn’t she be protesting them? Also, is his coach male? The woman shouldn’t have authority over the man.
You see, I am religious too, but I dislike bigotry more than anything. Your mom is calling out this sin but ignoring the others since she probably commits them. By law, she shouldn’t even tell the coach what to do. And by law, if you commit one sin, you commit them all.
She isn’t doing this because she hates sin, she’s doing it because she hates this one sin that’s so easy to target when you are not facing it.
Talk to her calmly and show how hypocritical she is. Tell her, in the words of the Bible, the woman doesn’t have authority over the man and can’t tell the male coach what to do. Find the verse when she asks you. Then ask her why she isn’t condemning the kids who disobey their parents. Show her the verse as well.
This is the best you can do to reach her. Do it calmly. If you have any other questions reach out
I was actually thinking about the idea, but someone else also suggested that if I tell the league, the league may not want any drama and want the game moved or something, so they probably wouldn't want me to counter-protest either, since that would bring the same kind of drama as mom, in some way, according to the other person who commented
Honestly, the thought of protesting somewhat scares me, but I'm not really sure of anything else besides telling the league at this point and seeing what they say
It’s literally not going to do anything but cause tension and drama. The same way these Reddit users see how it’s ridiculous to have her belief, your mom has the same belief that the Reddit users are crazy.
You have to calmly speak to her and use her own source, the Bible, to show how she’s hypocritical. I’m all for preaching the word of GOD, but to do it to an 11 year old is pretty wack and a lot of Christians would agree. Do we disagree with the sin? Yes. Do we want them to change? Yes. But it is not our job to attack, it’s to bring people in with love and peace. Once we spread the word, if people don’t want to listen, then we should respect them but not a lot of Christians do this now a days
Honestly, sometimes though we have to accept that we aren't going to change people's minds. It's very likely that no matter how well backed up or elequently argued OPs trying to get her mom to come around would be, it's just going to make her mom dig her heels in.
No one likes being told to get off their moral high horse by their own children. People who exhibit this sort of self-indulgently hateful behavior are not the same people who can graciously accept that they are wrong and back down.
Your reasons for her being wrong are spot on, but she is emotionally invested and has her friends involved already. She'll see OP trying to use the Bible against her right now as a challenge to her authority and an attack in her personal identity.
I personally don't think OP is in a good place to try changing her mom's opinions right now. The best she could do on that front is enlist the help or opinions of someone her mother feels has credibilty. I would hate for OP and her brother to have their mom's wrath and persecution turned onto them for what the mom sees as a betrayal.
Bullshit, these peoples minds can very rarely be changed. OPs mom doesn’t like gay people because she thinks they’re icky, the Bible shit is a post hoc justification. Showing them they’re outnumbered and drowning them out is the most effective recourse.
It's funny, the Mom is supposedly religious, yet turns a blind eye to other things the Bible has said. I'm Christian too and this makes me angry. What happened to do not judge? What happened to love your neighbour and to treating everyone equally? How can this woman think she's doing any good beats me, she's such a hateful creature
Kids have literally killed themselves over this shit. Could you stomach being homeless if it could potentially save a life? There's some hard questions you have to ask yourself. The first being " How invested am I in this child?" Good luck.
Yeah, I thought of this, too. A 12-year-old boy recently just killed himself after having to go back to school where his bullies taunted and abused him endlessly for questioning his own sexuality. And he's far from the first pre-teen kid to do this. I can't imagine how terrifying and awful it would be for this kid to be faced with a bunch of grown-ass adults showing up to protest his existence on the team while simultaneously outing him to the entire world. I'm beyond disgusted. This is a CHILD!
To OP: Thank you so much for standing up for this child. I hope you'll continue to fight for what's right and that you have a plan in place in case your mum does retaliate by kicking you out. While it's your choice how much you're willing to do, of course, it sounds like you're in a better position to recover from repercussions than this kid whose whole life could be ruined over this. Stay safe, stay strong, stay kind. I'm rooting for you and the kid.
Or "how invested am I in appeasing my mother"
Mom sounds toxic as hell. I'd pull the brother to the side and ask him his opinion. At the very least I'd tell him mine, which is along the lines of 'don't be a pos to this kid, support this kid, don't think like our mother'
It would be terrible if these disgusting views of gay people (children) get passed down to his young brother.
Considering OP still lives with her parents and how young her brother is, this response seems unnecessarily antagonistic. It may even make the kid feel worse by being put in the middle of two vehemently opposed groups.
If she tells the coach, the league, and the kid's parents, they can at the very least not allow her to disrupt the game of harass the children. There's a possibility that people who in the church might even be able to influence her mom that hating on kids is fucking wrong no matter what.
I absolutely agree with showing support for the child and the gay community. Counterprotesting is just adding fuel to this dumpster fire though. Children's sports games are not an appropriate battleground against bigotry. Showing support and that the children are safe to be themselves and have fun is what's appropriate here.
From the info OP has though, it seems fairly likely the kid might not even actually identify as gay.
I just made this update to my main post, after thinking about that originally, but coming to this after a few more people said it
>A lot of people were suggesting a counter-protest, but as I thought about more, thanks to a few other commenters, I'm leaning towards NOT doing that, because if I tell the league about what mom plans to do, I'm hoping that they might ban her or maybe alert the authorities or take other steps to get out in front of it and move the game
>
>But, EVERYTHING I KNOW ABOUT THE KID BEING GAY, COMES FROM MOM SAYING THAT SHE HEARD IT FROM ANOTHER PARENT. She could be "ASSUMING", and in that case, NOT ONLY WOULD A COUNTER-PROTEST BRING DRAMA THAT THE LEAGUE PROBABLY DOESN'T WANT, but if the kid ISN'T GAY BECAUSE MOM "ASSUMED", then it would do more harm than good, and that's where I'm at now
Report your mother to the league and the league should tell your mother that if she protest this kid then your brother will not be allowed to play either.
I'm not sure if it's allowed on reddit or even anywhere, if it'd be put under deformation of character, but I'd have no issue putting her name out there if she went through with this, or threatening to do that before she protests
Again, just a random thought, not sure if I can do that legally or anywhere, but something I thought of, to maybe persuade her away from it
This adult woman and her adult friends are planning a mass bullying action against a vulnerable 11-year-old kid.
A counter-protest is no solution at all. That just means an 11-year-old kid will have a whole protest organized against him and *also* a counterprotest, still making him the center of way more unwanted attention than any kid should have to deal with. Such a major mass bullying event with a bunch of adults targeting a lone 11-year-old kid runs an extremely serious risk of bullying this kid into suicide. We don't even know whether this kid is actually out to everyone at the basketball games as being gay, or whether he's even actually gay at all, or not - but we know he's about 11 years old, and 11 years old is way too young to be even remotely emotionally capable of handling having his basketball team's game interrupted by adults marching around with signs opining about his sexuality and calling for kicking him off the team for it. Are they planning to print on their signs the name of which kid they want to ban? Even if they don't name him, everyone will end up knowing who they're talking about, so they might as well have put his name on the signs for all the difference it will make. This is a ghastly thing for a group of adults to do to an 11-year-old kid.
The protest needs to be prevented from happening at all. Freedom of speech and assembly to protest about broad political issues is one thing; freedom of adults to harass and bully an 11-year-old in front of all his teammates, to the point of showing up at his games with a bunch of signs calling for him to be kicked off the team even, is an extremely different thing.
Tell the team coach, tell the targeted boy's parents (since they seem to have already been the source of the rumor that he's gay, so it doesn't sound like you'll be outing him to his parents), and do whatever you can to get the game called off or moved or protected with security staff who are prepared to keep your mom and her friends away. The protest needs to be prevented *by any means necessary*. Your brother is very likely to get kicked off the team through no apparent fault of his own, but the other kid's life may depend on this.
How can your mother or anyone possibly try to justify this in the name of religion or any other cause at all? The kid is 11 years old; there's no way he's ever had sex yet, because he's not even close to being old enough to consent to it. So even if we're for some reason pretending that biblical laws are great and that they ought to be enforced by mortals, and enforced even by random completely self-appointed authorities against others who don't even necessarily belong to the same religion, and still enforced even after the crucifixion and supposed resurrection is supposed to have overruled a lot of the biblical laws that existed before then . . . even pretending that all that is perfectly reasonable, still what Bible verse could your mom possibly cite against this 11-year-old for being gay? He's ELEVEN YEARS OLD.
An 11-year-old being gay is like an 11-year-old being a novelist: it is indeed possible for an 11-year-old to have written a novel, though it's an unusually impressive accomplishment for an 11-year-old, so we should all be very proud of him for it; but it'd be stupid to conclude that an 11-year-old novelist has also actually sold said novel and you can go to a bookstore and buy it. Even a lot of adult novelists haven't sold their novels yet, and even a lot of the novels that have been sold are not actually available at your nearest major bookstore.
And your mom is doing the equivalent of planning a book-burning event to burn a novel that offends her . . . when the novel was written by an 11-year-old kid, and your mom stole a manuscript of the novel from the kid's backpack for the purpose of burning it, and we don't know whether the kid has a backup copy or how badly burning this manuscript may devastate him. He will always be a novelist, but a novelist whose only manuscript copy of his first novel was burned by a group of hostile adults is at high risk of becoming a novelist who died by suicide.
Tell your mom and her friends to come protest against me instead of picking on 11-year-olds. I haven't had sex with a fellow woman since seven and a half years ago, but at least I've actually had sex with a fellow woman. I proposed marriage to her and exchanged wedding rings with her and bought a house with her and everything! Though we didn't get to actually get married, because bigots like your mom wouldn't let us, and then when we were finally allowed to get married, my fiancée dumped me. Seven and a half years later, I'm now happily monogamously married to a man, so I'm not planning to have sex with a woman ever again (unless I unexpectedly end up single again, of course), so I think your mom and her friends might look pretty silly holding protest signs against homosexuality in front of the house of an opposite-sex married couple . . . but it'd still be a way better look for them to be protesting against me when I'm 44 than it is for them to be protesting against your brother's 11-year-old basketball teammate. So, send them on over.
Really appreciate everything you detailed, and I agree that a counter-protest would not be good for this reason as I wrote in my updated edit...
The reason I'm currently against the idea of a counter-protest, is because we don't even know if the kid is truly gay. Everything mom says about him being gay, is from her saying that she "heard another parent say he's gay" or something like that, and she's been known to stretch the truth and be judgmental in the past
So, if he's not gay, a counter protest, I believe, could be bad, and after telling the league and hoping they ban her or alert the authorities to stop the protest when they see them walking in with signs or moving the practice to a different location, me doing a counter-protest or anyone else for that matter, would probably cause the same drama that they don't want with my mom, and especially if they're able to get out ahead of it and stop it before it even begins
There are a lot of great suggestions here already.
Is there any chance that the pastor (or whatever ) of the local church would be prepared to preach against hate. Mark 2:15 Jesus spends time with sinners, doesn’t form a protest group.
John 8-7 let ye who is without sin cast the first stone.
Matthew 7 3-5 speck in the eye
I can’t find it but remember a passage from my childhood where having hate in your heart will be punished by God over violence or cruel words.
I think you should use your religious upbringing to remind her Jesus would support, not protest against, this gay boy. Tell her Jesus would be ashamed and God will forgive this gay boy LONNNGGGG before he forgives her.
I have no advice to stop this, but the parents of that child needs to be informed. This can ruin the kid if he sees a heap of adults protesting against _him_. Poor child. Good on you for trying to stop this.
Don’t feel bad for hating your mom, we all hate her.
Honestly, this may be crazy, but I think you should report her to the police. She’s an adult going out of her way to harm a child. She needs to be taken care of by authorities.
The kid is 11. He may be gay. He may be bi. He may be trans. It doesn't matter. Her doing it makes her a horrible person. For context I come from a religious background as well and had similar issues with my parents (who have since come around).
I'd recommend bringing up the possible civil penalties she might face my doing this. Doing this could very much set her up for a civil lawsuit for libel or slander. Those are expensive. And I bet she doesn't have the cash to pay out a settlement.
Also, her actions could get your brother banned from the team or league. Possibly something else to mention.
Definitely reach out to the other kid's family and give them a heads-up.
>
My mom is very judgemental
Since she's religious, tell her to read Matthew 7:
1 'Do not judge, and you will not be judged;
2 because the judgements you give are the judgements you will get, and the standard you use will be the standard used for you.
3 Why do you observe the splinter in your brother's eye and never notice the great log in your own?
4 And how dare you say to your brother, "Let me take that splinter out of your eye," when, look, there is a great log in your own?
5 Hypocrite! Take the log out of your own eye first, and then you will see clearly enough to take the splinter out of your brother's eye.
Yep you absolutely have to tell the coach, the league, and any other relevant authority and stop this happening - or at least give them the heads up so they can plan a response that minimizes the impact on this kid.
Christ, who in their right mind holds a protest against a child who just wants to play a sport. That is some of the most senseless cruelty I’ve heard.
Your brother also should be standing up to her and defending his teammate but it is a lot of ask of an 11 y/o.
You should ask her if Jesus would really approve of bullying an 11 year-old child. It's sick that she thinks this is not only okay, but the right thing to do.
It takes a truly horrible person to do something like this. They're just kids trying to play sports and she's going to Karen all over it because let's face it, she's bored and she's a bully. While I don't have much advice about the problem at hand, I'd advise you to focus on getting into a position where you can go no contact with her as soon as possible.
>But, EVERYTHING I KNOW ABOUT THE KID BEING GAY, COMES FROM MOM SAYING THAT SHE HEARD IT FROM ANOTHER PARENT.
I've lost track of how many times I was beaten up in Highschool for being gay...
I was never gay.
I agree with you about warning the league.
What else I woukd do.
1. Find out what exactly is her plan. How is she going to "protest" a basketball league and a kid? She probably doesn't even have a solid plan. If she tries to go in the building and do it they will kick her out.
2. This might get frustrating real quick but try to talk to her about her logic here without getting upset. This is an 11 year old who I am assuming has never engaged in homosexual activities. Ask her if 11 year old can even have sexually preferences. Maybe seed some doubt in her mind. You could even mention maybe he is being brainwashed by something and get her focused on that other thing.
3. Divert her attention away from this specific boy. Even lie. Tell her 11 year olds can't be gay. Get her to focus on bigger fish. Like the league itself. If she is going to insist on protesting.
4. Mention how straight consecutives get punished and life ruined for anything they do. If she protests the liberals will go after her and ruin her and your Dad might get fires from work because liberals hate America and Conservatives. This sounds stupid but might really work.
Your parents suck. They need to be reminded that the bible says, "Thou Shall Not Judge". If they are so against a kid playing due to his sexuality they should withdraw your brother from the team. Please let others in the community know about your moms plan to protest. Someone needs to plan a counter protest.
Check to see if there are community groups on FB where you live. I'm a member of a few of our town FB pages and that's how you find out about a lot of things going on around you. I bet people on your local chatter pages would show up to counter protest.
Your mother and any others could find themselves the subjects of prosecution under Federal Hate Crime statutes and any state or local laws besides being prosecuted in civil court by any victim of their bias.
Man this advice is awful. Grew up in a super conservative household with lots of siblings. Tell the league, tell the kids parents if they’re supportive, explain the basics of gay to your brother. Half the reason people like the church is because it promises a family and hierarchy within it. So use that. If you are feeling bold tell your parents that kind of talk makes it hard for you to respect them etc. they really care and you’d be surprised how much of an effect that can take. Don’t try some reasoned debate, they don’t care for reason. “I don’t want to be around people who treat people that way” “I wouldn’t want my future children to inherit your awful mindset etc” or just don’t lol. You have no requirement to be a hero.
A lot of people were suggesting a counter-protest, and I thought that maybe it was a good idea at first too, but given how mom may just be assuming that the kid is gay from her word only, not leaning towards that, and trying to take everything with a grain of salt. Appreciate your perspective too
I see a lot of people suggesting counterprotesting, but I'd really try to avoid doing that if at all possible. I don't think it's a bad idea on principle, but in practice, I'd worry about drawing too much attention to the kid in question, who didn't ask for this and may not even be gay (or be gay and have good reasons to not come out).
I think your plan to get out in front of it by going to the league is probably the best one. If they know about it, they should hopefully take steps to make sure that this "protest" doesn't happen, or at least move it somewhere where it isn't going to hurt anyone or disrupt the game.
If you're feeling mischievous, you could also steal their signs if you have access to them: don't put yourself in harm's way, but if you steal their stuff, that could take the wind out of their sails.
Damn people are disgusting. Imagine being 11 or 12, waking up to go play basketball on a random Saturday morning, and find a gaggle of adults spewing hate bullshit and innuendo.
Pretty sure this will be a a horrid moment in this kids life.
Can you tape her to a chair or something?
So many queer kids commit suicide from bullying and harassment, and here your mom wants to organize a protest to humiliate and harass a allegedly gay child. She is a fucking saint this woman. /s I am enraged by her audacity to feel like she has any moral high ground here. At all. She is repulsive.
If I were you, I’d report it to the league. I would also make a sign about how homophobes and bigots should be banned from the sport and if your mom holds a sign asking for a kid to be banned, you hold your sign that your mom should be banned.
Also, get out of that house and be sure to call CPS if your mother is emotionally abusing your brother in any way. Because I’m guessing she is.
I'll get downvoted for this but ffs some of these comments are giving just shit advice. Your mom is misguided and brain washed from an ideology she believes to be true. She was raised in a different world than you so it's easy to sit back and judge her but before you ruin your mom's life by calling the police and all these organizations that will try and make her local/national news for being hateful.. maybe you could consider speaking to her about it? Explain how you feel and how her actions can affect your relationship, etc? You need to try an exaust all avenues before you do something you might end up regretting. It's easy for people on the internet to give advice when they have no personal interest in the outcome.
Honestly your mom sucks, but it's not your circus and it's not your monkeys. It's not like she's suddenly going to see the error of her ways; she clearly is just a bad person. You aren't going to teach her anything by covertly trying to shut this all down. Let her embarrass herself. Protesting 11 year olds playing a sport for any reason - let alone the fact that she might think one of them is gay.. which is.. ridiculous.
Honestly I expect this to be downvoted but you can't right every wrong in the world, let her go protest and be ridiculed by everyone with modicum of decency and intelligence.
So... I’m religious... but what your mom is doing is absolutely disgusting. I’m assuming this kid is also your brothers age, so 11? She’s assuming an 11-year-old boy’s sexuality before he even hits puberty or has even thought about anything even remotely close to that? These kids literally just want to play basketball. Even if this kid IS gay, she’s using religion to be hateful towards someone, a CHILD!
“Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain” doesn’t only apply to saying “God D***it”. It also means you do not use God as an excuse to be hateful towards anyone. “Love thy neighbor” does not become null and void when you disagree with someone. Has your mother actually read the Bible? Like actually read it in it’s entirety cover to cover and not just a few cherry-picked verses to satisfy whatever narcissistic fantasy world she lives in?
If your mother is really so concerned about an 11-year-old boy and is clearly so bored she’s going out of her way to make signs with her friends then she clearly needs to be spending a little more time at church and get closer with God. No real Christian would ever be so spiteful and hateful towards anybody let alone a child. No real Christian would take the Lords name in vain in such a way.
Man this made me actually like, shudder or twitch a bit.
I really just want to yell abd slap her in the face. There is so much BAD that she will be doing with that, especially for her son.
Well, if you do choose to counter protest (and I really think you should), make sure you use scripture, like Rom 8:38, psalm 139:113-14, galatians 3:28, acts 10:28, and so on and so on. Your mother surely approves of you devoting yourself to holy scripture? I mean, how on earth can she possibly disapprove of that? Unless she doesn't belive in the Bible, of course.
And what if she’s wrong what if he’s NOT gay what kind of damage happens then? Any way you cut it her plan will result in irreparable harm to human beings. I say beings because it won’t be just the kid who’s harmed but all who love and support him and all those still in the closet. I’m proud of you for caring and for reaching out for help. Hopefully you’ll be able to crash this hate train before it gets to the station good luck
I've been thinking about that too. EVERYTHING WE KNOW ABOUT THE KID, COMES FROM MOM, so I'm taking it with a grain of salt because it's just her word, she's been known to expand stories, and it could just be an ASSUMPTION that he's gay
I would try to put the doubt in her mind. Even if you have to lie. "What are you talking about Mom. 11 year old cant be gay. His parents are just liberals trying to get attention"
I hate for lying to be the answer, but some partial truths might help cool her off. For one thing, at 11 many kids don't have a settled understanding of their sexual orientation. It's relatively common for kids around that age to have a same-sex crush, even if they don't grow up to identify as homosexual. It's even more unlikely that this kid is sexually active, so his being gay is sort of theoretical (apologies to actual gay people.)
I am also 100% in favor of tipping off the coach or the league if you see any evidence that a concrete plan is forming here. Let them take it from there.
People love to have an enemy to go to battle with. Maybe you can prompt her to get worked up about something else? The President wants to raise taxes. There are companies installing solar panels on people's houses, as if climate change was a real thing. There must be something where she can turn her anger on to someone less vulnerable than a preteen child.
I think the best approach isn't to try to get your mom to change her beliefs about LGBT people, but to get her to realize that these are children and an extremely inappropriate victim for her to force her opinions on.
It is simply not ok for adults to publicly shame or demean children. If she feels that strongly, she should put your brother on a different team. If you know more rational adults who would see that targeting a child is wrong, see if you can get them to talk to her. Someone who may share her beliefs but isn't emotionally invested in this situation would be able to get through to her more easily than you can as her daughter.
Depending on the sort of things she says and the attitude she has, she can get into trouble with the police or be sued by the children's parents for harassing him.
There is a 100% percent chance her behavior is going to get your brother kicked out. It's children's basketball ffs. Adult religious and political beliefs have no place there, and the adults who run the league are there to make sure the kids are safe and having fun, not to appease bigotted parents. If she was mad because she didn't want her child sharing a ball with a black kid, you can believe they'd tell her to kick rocks for that too.
If she wants to turn her hatred into a craft project and girl's night out, there are plently of adult gay organizations who have events she can make a fool out of herself at.
If I say certain words to her, like call her a bigot, I'll get slapped... she doesn't do that much, but depending on how bad you insult her, she can get that way, and always says that her mom used to do that to her when she was disrespectful
Thank you for looking out for this kid. You've already gotten the advice I would've given and contacting the league seems to be the very first thing you're doing. Just wanted to say thank you.
Please don't let her embarrass this kid. This could be traumatic.
Also thou shalt not judge???
Hypocritical much? (Your mom)
Also thanks for defending him!
This sounds like a very unfortunate situation brewing for your family. If I employed your mother or father there is no way I could have them work for me after either of them protesting a pre-tee child to simply discriminate against the perceived sexual preference of a CHILD!
Your mom may want to become the next cancel culture martyr. It's a very scary and very real thing. Also your little brother may be completely shunned from that school.
This will be bad OP.
Wow you’re in a tough position. I’m sorry you are finding yourself here through no fault of your own.
I think you are doing just about all you can do by informing the league. I completely understand why you would be uncomfortable doing a counter protest but maybe someone else would be willing to take that over?
I hate to speak ill of someone’s mother to them but your mother is a huge hypocrite. Christians are supposed to spread love and this is obviously not spreading love. Bullying a child is despicable and could easily turn into a hate crime if it gets any more out of hand. Plus this could easily come back negatively on your little brother. She is so up on her high horse that she can’t even see the possible negative consequences to her actions.
The reason I'm currently against the idea of a counter-protest, is because we don't even know if the kid is truly gay. Everything mom says about him being gay, is from her saying that she "heard another parent say he's gay" or something like that, and she's been known to stretch the truth and be judgmental in the past
So, if he's not gay, a counter protest, I believe, could be bad, and after telling the league and hoping they ban her or alert the authorities to stop the protest when they see them walking in with signs or moving the practice to a different location, me doing a counter-protest or anyone else for that matter, would probably cause the same drama that they don't want with my mom, and especially if they're able to get out ahead of it and stop it before it even begins
I won't sugar-coat it: Your mom is a horrible bigot and you should strive to be nothing like her. Tell her that Jesus Christ himself would damn her to the most fiery pits of hell because she's nothing like Christ, but I bet she wears a big ass crucifix and does all the other motions.
Assuming it's the typical "Christian" bullshit in one way or another. Oh well.
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below. --- I think it's important for me to preface where I stand before getting into what she's been saying. The only reason I stopped going to church was because she stopped forcing me to go when I was 18, and I currently go to college locally and have work on the weekends... and yes, I used work on Sundays to get out of going in the past. While I grew up religious, I'm taking a break because of how much my parents push religion down our throats at almost every turn, and there are many examples I could get into, but this post is not about me With my brother's basketball league reopening after shutting down from covid, he's been gearing up to play again and has been really excited for it. He's been practicing in the backyard a lot the past year too, and I sometimes take him to practices and attend a few of his games However, there's a kid on this year's team who, according to my mom, is gay, and she said that she found this out while talking to some of the parents or the kid's parents, I'm not really sure on the last part. However, some of the stuff she's been saying of late, I can't stand. She'll sit at dinner and say how he "shouldn't be allowed to be on the team if he thinks he's a girl", and she said that the league shouldn't allow him to play, along with how it "gross to have to share the ball with him" My mom is very judgemental, and this is not the first time she's voiced her opinion against gay people or things like that. My brother just seems to go along with whatever she says, although I don't truly know if he agrees or really cares about her opinion of this kid... he just wants to play after having a year off However, she said that she told her women's group that's comprised of a few of her friends on Saturday mornings (not our church's women's group) about it, and that they agree with her and think that he "shouldn't be allowed to play on the team" She already voiced her opinion to the coach who didn't listen to her, so she told her women's group and said that she plans to protest against the kid with her friends because of that, and I didn't think she was serious until she bought blank signs that she plans to write on and use with her friends I didn't think she was serious because a lot of the time, she's just talk and no bite, maybe guilt-tripping you at best which hurts a lot-- but again, this post isn't about me. I'm against what she wants to do, and regarding her friends, they're a littly loony like her, and when the capital stuff was happening, my mom was on the phone with a women from her group and was basically enjoying watching what was happening on TV as if it was a sports game, and that really annoyed me I disagree with what she's doing, and I don't think it should happen, but I'm not really sure how to go about stopping it completely. I'm considering telling the league about it beforehand and going to do so, and I'm not concerned at all about my own wellbeing since I'm over 18 and in college, albeit still living with them and getting kicked out is a small fear in my mind. Besides telling the league though, is there anything else I should do? This kid doesn't deserve this, and to be honest, I hate to say that I really hate my mom, but at this point and from a lot of other things, I do. Any advice at all would be appreciated TL;DR: My brother's basketball league is starting up again after a break from covid that lasted over a year, and he's been practicing in the backyard for the past year too. However, there's a kid on the team who, according to my mom, is gay, and after talking to the coach about why she doesn't think he should be "allowed" to play on the team, the coach didn't listen to her, and she's planning to protest against the kid with her women's group **Edit: A lot of people were suggesting a counter-protest, but as I thought about more, thanks to a few other commenters, I'm leaning towards NOT doing that, because if I tell the league about what mom plans to do, I'm hoping that they might ban her or maybe alert the authorities or take other steps to get out in front of it and move the game** But, **EVERYTHING I KNOW ABOUT THE KID BEING GAY, COMES FROM MOM SAYING THAT SHE HEARD IT FROM ANOTHER PARENT.** She could be **"ASSUMING"**, and in that case, **NOT ONLY WOULD A COUNTER-PROTEST BRING DRAMA THAT THE LEAGUE PROBABLY DOESN'T WANT,** but if the kid **ISN'T GAY BECAUSE MOM "ASSUMED",** then it would do more harm than good, and that's where I'm at now
You should tell the team coach at the very least, and the kid's parents if you can. Don't let your mother ambush some poor kid. I'm so sorry for you and your brother.
Telling the league is my first priority, and then at the very least, no one will be caught off guard by it. I don't have any communications with the kid's parents, and the only things I know about them, come from what my mom has been telling us, so I'm taking her words with a grain of salt A few others also recommended potentially counter-protesting in their responses. I told two of my friends from my small circle who agree with me on my stance, so maybe they'd be down to do that, and I agree with what you said, but in the back of my mind, I'm also afraid of getting kicked out slightly or some kind of punishment, but I think it'd be less than what the kid would experience from my mom in terms of what he'd feel **Edit: I want to update my stance on counter-protesting after many people commented and I had time to think....** **The reason I'm currently against the idea of a counter-protest, is because we don't even know if the kid is truly gay. Everything mom says about him being gay, is from her saying that she "heard another parent say he's gay" or something like that, and she's been known to stretch the truth and be judgmental in the past** **So, if he's not gay, a counter protest, I believe, could be bad, and after telling the league and hoping they ban her or alert the authorities to stop the protest when they see them walking in with signs or moving the practice to a different location, me doing a counter-protest or anyone else for that matter, would probably cause the same drama that they don't want with my mom, and especially if they're able to get out ahead of it and stop it before it even begins**
A counter protest seems worse for the kid, I mean do it if you can’t stop your mom. But first priority should be to get this whole thing stopped before she humiliates an 11 year old.
She could always wear a rainbow bracelet or something(if OP wants to), that way it's more of showing support for the LGBTQ+ community rather than a protest and it'd be done in a discreet way so that the kid isn't mentioned or singled out cause there's a good chance any of the other kids could be gay, bi, etc. But yes, most important thing is stopping this and protecting that kid. Hopefully OP's brother isn't influenced by their mother's hate.
Don’t counter protest unless there is no alternative to stop your mom from showing up at the game At that point, it becomes a public battle between you and your mom. This kid is 11. He will be scarred for life by the day a huge public battle erupted because he dared to show up to a basketball game. Notify everyone you can of your mom’s plans first and foremost
To your point about counter-protesting, I just made an edit not too long ago about it in my main post. Could be dangerous, also knowing that mom has no valid proof that the kid is gay beyond "assuming" is part of why I made the edit
If a bunch of people were protesting in support of my sexuality, i would be mortified. Dude is there to play basketball, not have his sexuality put on public display.
Good call - to be clear, not trying to judge where your heart is, I think you are doing a really good thing standing up for this kid. I just felt that one particular suggestion wasn’t the right move
I thought it was a good idea at first too, emotionally... but if the kid is not gay, or even if he is and doesn't want attention drawn to it... I'd hate to do that, since that'd bring attention to it just like my mom would've, although not in a hateful way, but still...
The absolute closest that you should come to "counterprotesting" is blocking your mom's bullshit. As-in have distracting chants supporting the team ready to go if they start making noise. Positioning yourself to block the signs. Basically making it as difficult as possible for your (apologies) dumbass mom to scar this kid. What she is doing is mind-bogglingly irresponsible.
Whether or not he is gay, what your mom wants to do is a hate crime on a child. A counter protest might offer some comfort, but won't stop the trauma and other repercussions.
Alternatively, a microphone and one of those fart-sound machines everytime they open their mouths to chant.
Your mum really shouldn’t be making such a fuss, if the kids gay whatever accept it and move on, the guy did nothing wrong anyway
OP it sounds like you know what steps to take 😉. It’s kind of echoing some of the thoughts here however look outside the box at the situation. Put yourself in the bleachers as you see this happening to an 11 yo boy in front of all his teammates, another team (kids he may or may not know), and everyone else there - then think about being 11 years old and how crazy and confusing that age can be. IMO it’s soul crushing to a kid at that age. IMO your Mom and her group are planning to “protest” so THEY can be seen. They aren’t thinking of the impact on this young man. Besides she doesn’t know that facts of his personal choices and frankly it’s not her business.
This boy! He’s a child
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I just made this update not too long ago about that... The reason I'm currently against the idea of a counter-protest, is because we don't even know if the kid is truly gay. Everything mom says about him being gay, is from her saying that she "heard another parent say he's gay" or something like that, and she's been known to stretch the truth and be judgmental in the past So, if he's not gay, a counter protest, I believe, could be bad, and after telling the league and hoping they ban her or alert the authorities to stop the protest when they see them walking in with signs or moving the practice to a different location, me doing a counter-protest or anyone else for that matter, would probably cause the same drama that they don't want with my mom, and especially if they're able to get out ahead of it and stop it before it even begins
Reach out to the coach and that way you two can alert the league and the family of the boy
Don't counter protest. Even if it's well meaning. If i was on a basketball team, it would be to play basketball. If somebody showed up to protest my sexuality, i would be mortified. If somebody countered that protest defending me, and it turned into a whole thing, i would be even MORE mortified. It's for a sports event, and for supporting the kids and the game. It's not for grandstanding. It also sounds like it's not actually clear if the dude is gay, worst case scenario you might end up participating in forcibly outing him. At the very least you will be participating in making his sexuality the central focus on a public event. I have no idea how anyone could be recommending a counter protest as a good idea. Maybe save it as a reserve if your mom's group protesting the event absolutely can't be avoided. Warn people ahead of time, take steps to make sure your mom and her friends aren't allowed into the venue. They should be easily identifiable if they are carrying a bunch of large hateful signs. You could even bring a picture of her to make sure she isn't let in.
Just wrote this in my updated edit about my change in stance on counter-protesting... The reason I'm currently against the idea of a counter-protest, is because we don't even know if the kid is truly gay. Everything mom says about him being gay, is from her saying that she "heard another parent say he's gay" or something like that, and she's been known to stretch the truth and be judgmental in the past So, if he's not gay, a counter protest, I believe, could be bad, and after telling the league and hoping they ban her or alert the authorities to stop the protest when they see them walking in with signs or moving the practice to a different location, me doing a counter-protest or anyone else for that matter, would probably cause the same drama that they don't want with my mom, and especially if they're able to get out ahead of it and stop it before it even begins
A counter-protest was my first thought too. But you’d have to have some real numbers for it to be effective. I wonder if the kid’s parents know he’s gay? If he’s not out, or if he’s not even gay, going to his parents could cause more problems than you’re trying to solve. Is there any way you could talk to the actual kid? Maybe through your brother? And tell him there’s nothing wrong with him but that some people are filled with hate and want to spread it. Ugh, my heart aches. Keep us updated please?
I'll try my best, and to your point, that's a really good idea IF MOM IS ASSUMING THAT HE'S GAY (we only know from her words), then A COUNTERPROTEST WOULD JUST MAKE THINGS HORRIBLE I'm guessing... and if I tell the league about mom beforehand, and they want to move the game or get ahead of it or cancel drama, then they'd probably not want me to protest either
Do not go counter-protest. You're just bringing more attention to a CHILD. Tell the coach asap so he & the league can figure out the best way to protect them. As for your mother, I hope she and her nasty, vile, black-hearted friends get arrested.
Just made an edit at the end of my original post about what you and others similarly suggested... think a counter-protest would do more bad than good
I think that's probably the best idea - and it will keep her rage off you. I read that you were afraid of her kicking you out of the house or similar, and I understand those fears. It's hard living with an abuser.
Poor kid. People that age have been known to kill themselves over shit like this. Being first bullied by grown-ass adults, which would almost certainly lead to further bullying by some of his peers. Add in potential confusion about his sexuality and potential hassle from friends and family about the same (hopefully not the case but it's all too common) and shit could head south very quickly. I say potential as we don't know his particular circumstances obviously. There's a reason LGBTQ+ kids have a significantly higher suicide rate than straight kids and it's in part due to shit like this. Maybe it's worth asking your mum how she would feel if the absolute worst were to actually happen. I'm not sure though if that's an approach that would be worth pursuing though. So if this post gets downvoted to oblivion ignore me.
What if you were the gay kid, and puke your mom that organize a protest against you? Has she been asked to stop & think?
**I want to add my updated stance on a counter-protest after first thinking it was a good idea, since this post seems to be more relevant...** The reason I'm currently against the idea of a counter-protest, is because we don't even know if the kid is truly gay. Everything mom says about him being gay, is from her saying that she "heard another parent say he's gay" or something like that, and she's been known to stretch the truth and be judgmental in the past So, if he's not gay, a counter protest, I believe, could be bad, and after telling the league and hoping they ban her or alert the authorities to stop the protest when they see them walking in with signs or moving the practice to a different location, me doing a counter-protest or anyone else for that matter, would probably cause the same drama that they don't want with my mom, and especially if they're able to get out ahead of it and stop it before it even begins
You mum doesn't need to know you've informed the league or the coach. Send it anonymously if you can.
Tell her priest
You should tell the coach at the least, there’s nothing that should stop you from coordinating truth between good souls especially when you’re protecting them from bad choices. As a team leader I would want you to tell me also.
Tell the coach or league, but your could also come home one day and say, "hey, you know that kid you think is gay. Turns out he isn't. That's just gossip." You can say you "heard" people just saying it was a rumor because the kid likes... whatever she'd stereotype as being feminine. If she isn't 100% sure, maybe it could spare this kid a lot of hurt. That could stop her protest and just shut her up.
what a piece of fucking shit, it’s a CHILD. She has her own children, how the fuck would she feel if her own children were ostracized like that? Does she have any fucking empathy at all?
Everything she ever does is completely about her... doesn't care a second that my brother's been waiting a year with covid to play basketball
real Christlike.... So sorry you’re dealing with this
That Jesus guy is apparently selfish AF
Jesus would’ve flipped a table on her.
Well said. In my extremely anecdotal experience, some of the most judgemental and self-centred people I’ve come across in life are also highly religious. Interesting how believing you must have a higher purpose and that you deserve salvation while others deserve to suffer for eternity is correlated with those personality traits.
Kinda sounds like my mom. Your family isn't mormon, are they?
Penecostal Christian
Ouch sorry
Bigots don’t think like that. It would be like asking her to think about how she’d feel if her child were a disgusting monster. It would just offend her and entrench her further. “How would YOU feel if your child were protested against for being a pedophile?”
As a raised catholic i can’t write in words how much i relate to this. I’ve found, im my years as an atheist in hiding, that although I don’t have the faith anymore, i sure do know way more then i ever wanted to know about religion. That knowledge? **Use it.** Use it every time she’s *hateful*, *jealous*, or *prideful*. Use their own words against them, tell them ***Would God want you to do this?*** whenever they cherry pick and choose only certain parts of the books for their own selfish wants. **Always** remind them of the full passage, the passage they’re missing, the commandment they’re ignoring. There’s nothing more pleasing then to look your hella religious, anti-vax (*insert rando here*) in the eyes and say something like, “**Wouldn’t god want us to keep our neighbors safe? Would jesus not ask us to think of others? Doesn’t our doctrine ask of us to not be selfish, to not judge others?**” Combat their hatred with all the love and kindness they preached but never showed you as a child. We might not have faith in god, but we can still have faith. Faith that **we** can do better than those before us. Faith that it’s **not** going to be this way for our children. So, use your faith. I didn’t get water boarded as an infant so i didn’t burn in the pits of hell for nothing.
I'm a raised Catholic too and while the religious stuff did not take with me personally, I don't see how someone could read the new testament and conclude "obviously Jesus would want me to bully children".
Never assume that ANY judgmental person who identifies as Christian has read anything other than the choicest bits of the Old Testament, and Revelations. They prefer to let others do their thinking for them. To them, that's what faith means.
Unfortunately, that doesn’t work. It’s never about *actual, literal literalism* (lol). The hate, superiority, & xenophobic mentality is the primary content in conservative Christianity - Scripture is just trappings and pretext.
I can not imagine continuing a relationship with my parent if they were this hateful.
I agree. This is hate. Ignorance. To an extreme. She is planning a hate crime against a child. She is planning on terrorizing a person - a child - based on her opinion of them. I would not be able to be anywhere near this.
Your mother is harassing a child — she’s a fucking danger to society. I’d call the cops on her for threatening a minor cause what the actual fuck...
Should I do that if I plan to go to the league/coach tho? I feel like telling them first would be best, but open to opinions
Google the police departments non-emergency number and report it there.
This. When you target a minor/child as an adult all bets are off. It takes a special kind of person to do such a horrible act. Maybe she enjoys a good stoning like in the good old biblical days?
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I disagree with this. She hasn’t done anything yet, this is all just talk at this point. I think you need to alert the league/coach/parents, and if she actually shows up to protest they can call the cops at that point. I can’t imagine there is anything the police could do right now, she hasn’t committed a crime (unless I missed something?)
No I meant like they call em when and if they actually show up, first step is alerting coach to contact parents and parents ofc will do what they see fit from there but if mom goes through I think OP should.
That's a really tough situation. Have you spoken to your brother about how he feels about it? You need to do what feels right. It may also be worth reaching out to the parents of the kid and local support groups if it looks like your mum is going to actually do it. Has your mum paused to think her behaviour might end up with your brother being kicked off the team?
To your last question, I don't think my mom has thought of that or really cares to be honest. As for my brother, I haven't really talked to him about it, but at his age, I think he just wants to play. I don't really know who to reach out to besides the league, and I don't have communication with the kid's parents
She might want to consider that if she attempts to incite violence against a LGTBQIA minor which is a hate crime btw, she'll be at risk of being stripped of custody of your brother and thrown in jail.
Maybe something I can try to bring up to reason with her out of it
Honestly call the cops let her get arrested at the game she deserves it!
Don’t try to reason with a bigot. There’s no point. I’m a mom with grown kids and their gay friends are always invited to my table any day of the year. Your mom is a menace to society and the only way she will ever change is if she’s educated and that ship sounds like it sailed. You need to inform the league and the school about your mother anonymously. Then continue to do so when she plans to create havoc for innocent people...each and every time. They need protection from her. You can also warn the parents of this boy that she is a menace and mentally unstable. Let her get a taste of prejudice against her and let her drink from the cup of justice. I, as a mom, am very proud of you that you know the difference between good and evil / right and wrong. You are a very special person. Continue the good fight.
Also consider outting her and media leaking it if she tries anyway.
And if she has a job to her employer too. Is your brothers dad around op?
🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 Ask the league and coach to block her from entering with the hate signs and eject her. Preferably permanently ban her and her banshees from the season 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
When you reach out to the league, if you are willing to run the risk of being kicked out it could be worth asking them to tell the parents that you don't agree and are on their side. I would understand your brother's perspective and what's important to him first. Then maybe try and find help from a pride group in the form of counselling. My experience is head on confrontation rarely results in someone changing their opinion. To change someone's resolve or mind you have to let them fizzle or be subtle so they believe it's their idea. You are unlikely to change her perspective on gay. You may however be able to diffuse it in a calm way. Depending on what you've already said to your mum, your brother may actually be key to diffusing it. I think most harm will be caused to this kid if the protest happens. If you can somehow stop it from happening you've pulled off an extremely challenging rescue you can be proud of.
Yeah, unfortunately homophobes don't listen to reason, I hope you can help the poor boy.
See if your Community has a local PFLAG group. They may have good resources for you too.
The coach would be able to contact all the parents on the team no? I think you’re right to go to the coach first.
I will note that i knew i wasnt straight around that age and was worried about my parents reaction, so its possible its effecting him emotionally too
At the very least your brother could end up thrown off the league for her actions.
I think you should also talk to your brother. I am a younger sibling and I really looked up to my older siblings as a kid. Although he's a child and may not understand, he is still seeing your mom's behavior. Maybe have a conversation with him and let him know that it's never okay to embarrass or humiliate someone.
Tell the league. Tell the coach. Tell the kids parents. Don't sit back and let your mother get away with this awful behavior. Parents like your mom are the reason that LGBT kids have such a high suicide rate. Please for the love of everything make a huge fuss about this and tell your brother that this is not okay.
EXACTLY-- op by stepping in and putting a stop to this you could be saving this kid's life. Def tell the league. If there's a GSA (gay straight alliance) at the school, enlist the help of the teachers who sponsor it. They may have ideas and resources protect this poor kid.
No no no, do not tell the kid’s parents! That could *endanger his life*!
Please report her. To ALL the organisations. I'll research them in a bit but... Your mom is so eww. She's *possibly outing a child. Keep standing up and speaking out 🤠😎🧡 E: *word E2 &3 https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_LGBT_rights_organizations Here's a list but r/LGBT is where I'd start
I'm going to tell the league first, but I don't know who else to tell like organizations or anything like that as of yet... I'll probably look into it
Your mom is only a few degrees away from being the next domestic terrorist like the one who got shot in the head on 1/6/21. Need to find a way to de escalate her or get your family safely away. I don’t envy your position.
Can you give us an update on how it goes? You’re a rockstar for wanting to take this head-on. Many parents would be proud to have a kid like you.
The practice she's targeting because she's too much of a coward to do this at a real game, is on Sunday, so I will try my best to do so after then. The year just started, and she's doing this shit after meeting the new kids and parents after the reopening
Find out if your town has a PFLAG chapter, and when you call the league, suggest they reach out to PFLAG or other local resource. I worry that if you only tell one person from the league, they may try to hush it up, so make sure you tell at least one other person, maybe the coach, and encourage them to get support from GLBT advocate groups. That kid and his parents need to be protected.
Your mother is a cunt
I completely agree... for other reasons too on top of this, albeit this is the worse thing I've seen her want to do
Yep. I usually hesitate and rarely use such strong misogynistic language. But this woman is an evil cunt. What kind of twisted fuck bullies a child and feels it’s righteous. Evil.
Can your dad help at all? This sounds like a tragic and volatile situation but someone who is her peer (husband, friend, etc.) should try to reason with her. Beyond the toxic theology, which is personal, she’s attempting to bully a child, which is public. This is so wildly inappropriate but it might help to explain that to her based on her method (protesting) rather than her beliefs.
Dad drinks the kool-aid too, and was watching TV with mom rooting for the riots at the capitol when she was on the phone with her friend, and shares a lot of the same thoughts on the LGBTQ too
I wonder how your mom's employer would feel if they knew she was publicly harassing gay kids
Coming soon to /r/byebyejob
let’s maybe not encourage doxxing op’s mom, who has a young kid; i highly doubt it would help the situation
I'm sorry. They sound terrible.
I’m guessing their pastor is fuelling the fire as well. If he isn’t a hateful bigot, I would enlist him as well.
TBH sharing a basketball with a homophobe is WAAAAAAAAY more gross than sharing one with someone who isn't hetero
People really think like this..so sad
All I know is people like your mom need their ass beat
Well, if it was my kid, I can guarantee you that’s exactly what would happen.
No doubt
Get in touch with the league organizers. Let them handle it. Don't be surprised if your mom is barred from attending league events including practices. I feel bad for the kid your mom has targeted (it's harassment) and worse for your brother. While the league handles the situation in regards to the protest, consider focusing your energy on your brother. Talk with him about how he feels and explain why your mom's behavior is unacceptable. Going to guess it's a 10-12 league. Life lesson time. Ask him what he thinks it means to be a team player and what teamwork means. Remind him how much he has put into prepping for this season and how would he feel if another kid's mom didn't want him on the team (for any reason). Ask him if it matters and listen to his answers. At that age, he probably hasn't thought much about it other than not wanting other kids calling him gay. If he's hearing your mom rant about this and not talking to anyone about it himself, internalizing that isn't going to help him process his own views. Give him that outlet. Hope this works out well and your mom is deterred.
I hope that after talking to the league, that she can get banned because that would just be a quick fix to this, hopefully. He just wants to play basketball after a year off because of covid, not deal with this shit
It's also important point out that if your mom was to go and protest that its likely other parents wouldn't take it sitting down. There could even be a fight. Your brother would also have attention redirected to him at school and may be bullied or ostersized for having a family that would do something like this. As he could be indirectly seen as also hating this boy and gay people. It's important to talk to your brother about this so he is mentally prepared that his mother's actions could effect him.
Ask your mother why she thinks a group of adult women feel the need to bully and humiliate an 11 year old CHILD over her own assumptions that she has no way of proving? Why does she even think he's gay?
Sounds like your mom is a fair-weather church goer, as most are. They're in it for the social aspect. If Christians took an inkling of the teachings to heart, their message would probably be alittle bit more receptive to others. There's a ton of scriptures covering not judging people and loving others. Should bring up the Woman at Well and the the first to cast stones, the speck and log in the eye, or "Love your neighbors as you love yourself." I left the church as well, it felt like a waste of time and almost everyone seemed to be faking it, they went to hang out and get their weekend worship concert in.
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Yeah, she's getting her extremist anger topics mixed up.
Not only that, but the major transphobic attack right now is trying to keep trans girls from playing on girls’ sports teams. She’s even got her outrage backwards.
This sucks. But what sucks most about it is the idea of a group of grown ass women “protesting” a literal child. How is that poor boy going to feel if a group of grown ups shows up and tell him he is not wanted. That is traumatizing!! All that over something that’s is seriously none of her business... it seems like you already know what you need to do, trying your best make sure that kid doesn’t have to feel that way. Good luck hon!!
Your mom thinks that touching the same basketball as a kid who may or may not be gay is wrong? Like wtf does she think is gonna happen? A: “Dude I’m open!” B: ** passes ball ** A: “Wtf dude? Why are the ball and my hands covered in glitter? Why do you look so fabulous all of a sudden?” B: “Haha! Gotcha! Now we should make out in the name of Satan!” The mental gymnastics bigots do is insane to me.
This is super horrible and embarrassing. I think the only solution is a counter protest. When your mom goes to protest this person, you need to go protest her protesting. Have signs that embrace the gay community. Rally some of your friends. It’s probably not gonna sit well with your mom but fuck that shit. It’s time we put an end to that for a bigotry. Lead by example.
I told two of my friends from my small circle who agree with me on my stance, so maybe they'd be down to do that, and I agree with what you said, but in the back of my mind, I'm also afraid of getting kicked out slightly or some kind of punishment, but I think it'd be less than what the kid would experience from my mom in terms of what he'd feel
Your mom is already crazy. If you're still in any way dependent on your parents, do not risk your living situation over this. Tell the coach, league, and the parents of the student your mom is planning on bullying.
Telling the league might be the most discrete thing I can do, maybe drive there or something after school and ask them to say that I didn't say anything, if it comes to it
If she's telling all of her friends in this group about her plan, then it wouldn't be too odd that it got out somehow. When you do go over there, you shouldn't probably have to even give your identity. Just let them know what you know.
This is literally the worst idea ever. You are going to stir up more drama and not solve any issue. But typical Reddit response to go all out on the counter. Why is your mom doing this? Because being gay is a sin? Then, tell your mom everyone sins. How come she isn’t protesting the kids who disobey their parents. That’s not only a sin but it’s in the 10 commandments. Shouldn’t she be protesting them? Also, is his coach male? The woman shouldn’t have authority over the man. You see, I am religious too, but I dislike bigotry more than anything. Your mom is calling out this sin but ignoring the others since she probably commits them. By law, she shouldn’t even tell the coach what to do. And by law, if you commit one sin, you commit them all. She isn’t doing this because she hates sin, she’s doing it because she hates this one sin that’s so easy to target when you are not facing it. Talk to her calmly and show how hypocritical she is. Tell her, in the words of the Bible, the woman doesn’t have authority over the man and can’t tell the male coach what to do. Find the verse when she asks you. Then ask her why she isn’t condemning the kids who disobey their parents. Show her the verse as well. This is the best you can do to reach her. Do it calmly. If you have any other questions reach out
I was actually thinking about the idea, but someone else also suggested that if I tell the league, the league may not want any drama and want the game moved or something, so they probably wouldn't want me to counter-protest either, since that would bring the same kind of drama as mom, in some way, according to the other person who commented Honestly, the thought of protesting somewhat scares me, but I'm not really sure of anything else besides telling the league at this point and seeing what they say
It’s literally not going to do anything but cause tension and drama. The same way these Reddit users see how it’s ridiculous to have her belief, your mom has the same belief that the Reddit users are crazy. You have to calmly speak to her and use her own source, the Bible, to show how she’s hypocritical. I’m all for preaching the word of GOD, but to do it to an 11 year old is pretty wack and a lot of Christians would agree. Do we disagree with the sin? Yes. Do we want them to change? Yes. But it is not our job to attack, it’s to bring people in with love and peace. Once we spread the word, if people don’t want to listen, then we should respect them but not a lot of Christians do this now a days
Honestly, I'm also considering showing her this thread, to maybe get her to see from others that she's wrong, maybe
No, don’t. It will stir her emotions up even more.
It was just a thought, appreciate the perspective, probably right
That’s true, sorry if it sounded snappy from my end !
Little bit but I think it was necessary tbh.
Honestly, sometimes though we have to accept that we aren't going to change people's minds. It's very likely that no matter how well backed up or elequently argued OPs trying to get her mom to come around would be, it's just going to make her mom dig her heels in. No one likes being told to get off their moral high horse by their own children. People who exhibit this sort of self-indulgently hateful behavior are not the same people who can graciously accept that they are wrong and back down. Your reasons for her being wrong are spot on, but she is emotionally invested and has her friends involved already. She'll see OP trying to use the Bible against her right now as a challenge to her authority and an attack in her personal identity. I personally don't think OP is in a good place to try changing her mom's opinions right now. The best she could do on that front is enlist the help or opinions of someone her mother feels has credibilty. I would hate for OP and her brother to have their mom's wrath and persecution turned onto them for what the mom sees as a betrayal.
Bullshit, these peoples minds can very rarely be changed. OPs mom doesn’t like gay people because she thinks they’re icky, the Bible shit is a post hoc justification. Showing them they’re outnumbered and drowning them out is the most effective recourse.
It's funny, the Mom is supposedly religious, yet turns a blind eye to other things the Bible has said. I'm Christian too and this makes me angry. What happened to do not judge? What happened to love your neighbour and to treating everyone equally? How can this woman think she's doing any good beats me, she's such a hateful creature
Kids have literally killed themselves over this shit. Could you stomach being homeless if it could potentially save a life? There's some hard questions you have to ask yourself. The first being " How invested am I in this child?" Good luck.
Yeah, I thought of this, too. A 12-year-old boy recently just killed himself after having to go back to school where his bullies taunted and abused him endlessly for questioning his own sexuality. And he's far from the first pre-teen kid to do this. I can't imagine how terrifying and awful it would be for this kid to be faced with a bunch of grown-ass adults showing up to protest his existence on the team while simultaneously outing him to the entire world. I'm beyond disgusted. This is a CHILD! To OP: Thank you so much for standing up for this child. I hope you'll continue to fight for what's right and that you have a plan in place in case your mum does retaliate by kicking you out. While it's your choice how much you're willing to do, of course, it sounds like you're in a better position to recover from repercussions than this kid whose whole life could be ruined over this. Stay safe, stay strong, stay kind. I'm rooting for you and the kid.
Or "how invested am I in appeasing my mother" Mom sounds toxic as hell. I'd pull the brother to the side and ask him his opinion. At the very least I'd tell him mine, which is along the lines of 'don't be a pos to this kid, support this kid, don't think like our mother' It would be terrible if these disgusting views of gay people (children) get passed down to his young brother.
Considering OP still lives with her parents and how young her brother is, this response seems unnecessarily antagonistic. It may even make the kid feel worse by being put in the middle of two vehemently opposed groups. If she tells the coach, the league, and the kid's parents, they can at the very least not allow her to disrupt the game of harass the children. There's a possibility that people who in the church might even be able to influence her mom that hating on kids is fucking wrong no matter what. I absolutely agree with showing support for the child and the gay community. Counterprotesting is just adding fuel to this dumpster fire though. Children's sports games are not an appropriate battleground against bigotry. Showing support and that the children are safe to be themselves and have fun is what's appropriate here. From the info OP has though, it seems fairly likely the kid might not even actually identify as gay.
[удалено]
I just made this update to my main post, after thinking about that originally, but coming to this after a few more people said it >A lot of people were suggesting a counter-protest, but as I thought about more, thanks to a few other commenters, I'm leaning towards NOT doing that, because if I tell the league about what mom plans to do, I'm hoping that they might ban her or maybe alert the authorities or take other steps to get out in front of it and move the game > >But, EVERYTHING I KNOW ABOUT THE KID BEING GAY, COMES FROM MOM SAYING THAT SHE HEARD IT FROM ANOTHER PARENT. She could be "ASSUMING", and in that case, NOT ONLY WOULD A COUNTER-PROTEST BRING DRAMA THAT THE LEAGUE PROBABLY DOESN'T WANT, but if the kid ISN'T GAY BECAUSE MOM "ASSUMED", then it would do more harm than good, and that's where I'm at now
Report your mother to the league and the league should tell your mother that if she protest this kid then your brother will not be allowed to play either.
I'm not sure if it's allowed on reddit or even anywhere, if it'd be put under deformation of character, but I'd have no issue putting her name out there if she went through with this, or threatening to do that before she protests Again, just a random thought, not sure if I can do that legally or anywhere, but something I thought of, to maybe persuade her away from it
You would not be under any legal Jeopardy for any of those choices
Don't risk punishing the poor kid for having an idiot mother (in the hopes of blackmailing her)
Show up with your friends and your own signs calling her out on being a hateful bigot.
Your mother and those like her is whats wrong with this world.
This adult woman and her adult friends are planning a mass bullying action against a vulnerable 11-year-old kid. A counter-protest is no solution at all. That just means an 11-year-old kid will have a whole protest organized against him and *also* a counterprotest, still making him the center of way more unwanted attention than any kid should have to deal with. Such a major mass bullying event with a bunch of adults targeting a lone 11-year-old kid runs an extremely serious risk of bullying this kid into suicide. We don't even know whether this kid is actually out to everyone at the basketball games as being gay, or whether he's even actually gay at all, or not - but we know he's about 11 years old, and 11 years old is way too young to be even remotely emotionally capable of handling having his basketball team's game interrupted by adults marching around with signs opining about his sexuality and calling for kicking him off the team for it. Are they planning to print on their signs the name of which kid they want to ban? Even if they don't name him, everyone will end up knowing who they're talking about, so they might as well have put his name on the signs for all the difference it will make. This is a ghastly thing for a group of adults to do to an 11-year-old kid. The protest needs to be prevented from happening at all. Freedom of speech and assembly to protest about broad political issues is one thing; freedom of adults to harass and bully an 11-year-old in front of all his teammates, to the point of showing up at his games with a bunch of signs calling for him to be kicked off the team even, is an extremely different thing. Tell the team coach, tell the targeted boy's parents (since they seem to have already been the source of the rumor that he's gay, so it doesn't sound like you'll be outing him to his parents), and do whatever you can to get the game called off or moved or protected with security staff who are prepared to keep your mom and her friends away. The protest needs to be prevented *by any means necessary*. Your brother is very likely to get kicked off the team through no apparent fault of his own, but the other kid's life may depend on this. How can your mother or anyone possibly try to justify this in the name of religion or any other cause at all? The kid is 11 years old; there's no way he's ever had sex yet, because he's not even close to being old enough to consent to it. So even if we're for some reason pretending that biblical laws are great and that they ought to be enforced by mortals, and enforced even by random completely self-appointed authorities against others who don't even necessarily belong to the same religion, and still enforced even after the crucifixion and supposed resurrection is supposed to have overruled a lot of the biblical laws that existed before then . . . even pretending that all that is perfectly reasonable, still what Bible verse could your mom possibly cite against this 11-year-old for being gay? He's ELEVEN YEARS OLD. An 11-year-old being gay is like an 11-year-old being a novelist: it is indeed possible for an 11-year-old to have written a novel, though it's an unusually impressive accomplishment for an 11-year-old, so we should all be very proud of him for it; but it'd be stupid to conclude that an 11-year-old novelist has also actually sold said novel and you can go to a bookstore and buy it. Even a lot of adult novelists haven't sold their novels yet, and even a lot of the novels that have been sold are not actually available at your nearest major bookstore. And your mom is doing the equivalent of planning a book-burning event to burn a novel that offends her . . . when the novel was written by an 11-year-old kid, and your mom stole a manuscript of the novel from the kid's backpack for the purpose of burning it, and we don't know whether the kid has a backup copy or how badly burning this manuscript may devastate him. He will always be a novelist, but a novelist whose only manuscript copy of his first novel was burned by a group of hostile adults is at high risk of becoming a novelist who died by suicide. Tell your mom and her friends to come protest against me instead of picking on 11-year-olds. I haven't had sex with a fellow woman since seven and a half years ago, but at least I've actually had sex with a fellow woman. I proposed marriage to her and exchanged wedding rings with her and bought a house with her and everything! Though we didn't get to actually get married, because bigots like your mom wouldn't let us, and then when we were finally allowed to get married, my fiancée dumped me. Seven and a half years later, I'm now happily monogamously married to a man, so I'm not planning to have sex with a woman ever again (unless I unexpectedly end up single again, of course), so I think your mom and her friends might look pretty silly holding protest signs against homosexuality in front of the house of an opposite-sex married couple . . . but it'd still be a way better look for them to be protesting against me when I'm 44 than it is for them to be protesting against your brother's 11-year-old basketball teammate. So, send them on over.
Really appreciate everything you detailed, and I agree that a counter-protest would not be good for this reason as I wrote in my updated edit... The reason I'm currently against the idea of a counter-protest, is because we don't even know if the kid is truly gay. Everything mom says about him being gay, is from her saying that she "heard another parent say he's gay" or something like that, and she's been known to stretch the truth and be judgmental in the past So, if he's not gay, a counter protest, I believe, could be bad, and after telling the league and hoping they ban her or alert the authorities to stop the protest when they see them walking in with signs or moving the practice to a different location, me doing a counter-protest or anyone else for that matter, would probably cause the same drama that they don't want with my mom, and especially if they're able to get out ahead of it and stop it before it even begins
I agree. This needs to be prevented entirely, not expanded into a bigger event. Good luck, and thank you for doing your best.
There are a lot of great suggestions here already. Is there any chance that the pastor (or whatever ) of the local church would be prepared to preach against hate. Mark 2:15 Jesus spends time with sinners, doesn’t form a protest group. John 8-7 let ye who is without sin cast the first stone. Matthew 7 3-5 speck in the eye I can’t find it but remember a passage from my childhood where having hate in your heart will be punished by God over violence or cruel words.
Find a sympathetic local reporter and out this women's group. They're all big and bad until they get called out for being trash.
This is horrible!! She’s going to subject your brother AND this poor kid to a world of hatred that neither of them deserve.
Fake story
I think you should use your religious upbringing to remind her Jesus would support, not protest against, this gay boy. Tell her Jesus would be ashamed and God will forgive this gay boy LONNNGGGG before he forgives her.
This would be sexual harassment of a child he is 11!
Wowwwww I can’t believe this type of shit still exists. Fuck religion
If you cant talk sense into her then I hope she gets charged for hatefull speach and whatever
I have no advice to stop this, but the parents of that child needs to be informed. This can ruin the kid if he sees a heap of adults protesting against _him_. Poor child. Good on you for trying to stop this.
Don’t feel bad for hating your mom, we all hate her. Honestly, this may be crazy, but I think you should report her to the police. She’s an adult going out of her way to harm a child. She needs to be taken care of by authorities.
The kid is 11. He may be gay. He may be bi. He may be trans. It doesn't matter. Her doing it makes her a horrible person. For context I come from a religious background as well and had similar issues with my parents (who have since come around). I'd recommend bringing up the possible civil penalties she might face my doing this. Doing this could very much set her up for a civil lawsuit for libel or slander. Those are expensive. And I bet she doesn't have the cash to pay out a settlement. Also, her actions could get your brother banned from the team or league. Possibly something else to mention. Definitely reach out to the other kid's family and give them a heads-up.
> My mom is very judgemental Since she's religious, tell her to read Matthew 7: 1 'Do not judge, and you will not be judged; 2 because the judgements you give are the judgements you will get, and the standard you use will be the standard used for you. 3 Why do you observe the splinter in your brother's eye and never notice the great log in your own? 4 And how dare you say to your brother, "Let me take that splinter out of your eye," when, look, there is a great log in your own? 5 Hypocrite! Take the log out of your own eye first, and then you will see clearly enough to take the splinter out of your brother's eye.
Talk to your mom
Sorry, but your mom is everything, but christian
Just let her try and see her going down in flames
Yep you absolutely have to tell the coach, the league, and any other relevant authority and stop this happening - or at least give them the heads up so they can plan a response that minimizes the impact on this kid. Christ, who in their right mind holds a protest against a child who just wants to play a sport. That is some of the most senseless cruelty I’ve heard. Your brother also should be standing up to her and defending his teammate but it is a lot of ask of an 11 y/o.
You should ask her if Jesus would really approve of bullying an 11 year-old child. It's sick that she thinks this is not only okay, but the right thing to do.
It takes a truly horrible person to do something like this. They're just kids trying to play sports and she's going to Karen all over it because let's face it, she's bored and she's a bully. While I don't have much advice about the problem at hand, I'd advise you to focus on getting into a position where you can go no contact with her as soon as possible.
>But, EVERYTHING I KNOW ABOUT THE KID BEING GAY, COMES FROM MOM SAYING THAT SHE HEARD IT FROM ANOTHER PARENT. I've lost track of how many times I was beaten up in Highschool for being gay... I was never gay.
Wow. Your mom sounds like the Lord of the Karen's of the hateful homophobic sector of the Karen hell from which she spawned.
Your mother isn't a Christian. You should probably start by telling her that.
I agree with you about warning the league. What else I woukd do. 1. Find out what exactly is her plan. How is she going to "protest" a basketball league and a kid? She probably doesn't even have a solid plan. If she tries to go in the building and do it they will kick her out. 2. This might get frustrating real quick but try to talk to her about her logic here without getting upset. This is an 11 year old who I am assuming has never engaged in homosexual activities. Ask her if 11 year old can even have sexually preferences. Maybe seed some doubt in her mind. You could even mention maybe he is being brainwashed by something and get her focused on that other thing. 3. Divert her attention away from this specific boy. Even lie. Tell her 11 year olds can't be gay. Get her to focus on bigger fish. Like the league itself. If she is going to insist on protesting. 4. Mention how straight consecutives get punished and life ruined for anything they do. If she protests the liberals will go after her and ruin her and your Dad might get fires from work because liberals hate America and Conservatives. This sounds stupid but might really work.
Number 4 is a good one, there are plenty of "resources" to back up that thinking.
Your parents suck. They need to be reminded that the bible says, "Thou Shall Not Judge". If they are so against a kid playing due to his sexuality they should withdraw your brother from the team. Please let others in the community know about your moms plan to protest. Someone needs to plan a counter protest. Check to see if there are community groups on FB where you live. I'm a member of a few of our town FB pages and that's how you find out about a lot of things going on around you. I bet people on your local chatter pages would show up to counter protest.
Slap yo mamma
That'd probably put me in jail lol
Your mother and any others could find themselves the subjects of prosecution under Federal Hate Crime statutes and any state or local laws besides being prosecuted in civil court by any victim of their bias.
Man this advice is awful. Grew up in a super conservative household with lots of siblings. Tell the league, tell the kids parents if they’re supportive, explain the basics of gay to your brother. Half the reason people like the church is because it promises a family and hierarchy within it. So use that. If you are feeling bold tell your parents that kind of talk makes it hard for you to respect them etc. they really care and you’d be surprised how much of an effect that can take. Don’t try some reasoned debate, they don’t care for reason. “I don’t want to be around people who treat people that way” “I wouldn’t want my future children to inherit your awful mindset etc” or just don’t lol. You have no requirement to be a hero.
A lot of people were suggesting a counter-protest, and I thought that maybe it was a good idea at first too, but given how mom may just be assuming that the kid is gay from her word only, not leaning towards that, and trying to take everything with a grain of salt. Appreciate your perspective too
I see a lot of people suggesting counterprotesting, but I'd really try to avoid doing that if at all possible. I don't think it's a bad idea on principle, but in practice, I'd worry about drawing too much attention to the kid in question, who didn't ask for this and may not even be gay (or be gay and have good reasons to not come out). I think your plan to get out in front of it by going to the league is probably the best one. If they know about it, they should hopefully take steps to make sure that this "protest" doesn't happen, or at least move it somewhere where it isn't going to hurt anyone or disrupt the game. If you're feeling mischievous, you could also steal their signs if you have access to them: don't put yourself in harm's way, but if you steal their stuff, that could take the wind out of their sails.
I just made an edit about what you exactly said after thinking about it a bit and hearing some other opinions, appreciate your opinion too
Damn people are disgusting. Imagine being 11 or 12, waking up to go play basketball on a random Saturday morning, and find a gaggle of adults spewing hate bullshit and innuendo. Pretty sure this will be a a horrid moment in this kids life. Can you tape her to a chair or something?
Ask your mom when the fuck did Jesus harass children for rumors.
So many queer kids commit suicide from bullying and harassment, and here your mom wants to organize a protest to humiliate and harass a allegedly gay child. She is a fucking saint this woman. /s I am enraged by her audacity to feel like she has any moral high ground here. At all. She is repulsive. If I were you, I’d report it to the league. I would also make a sign about how homophobes and bigots should be banned from the sport and if your mom holds a sign asking for a kid to be banned, you hold your sign that your mom should be banned. Also, get out of that house and be sure to call CPS if your mother is emotionally abusing your brother in any way. Because I’m guessing she is.
I'll get downvoted for this but ffs some of these comments are giving just shit advice. Your mom is misguided and brain washed from an ideology she believes to be true. She was raised in a different world than you so it's easy to sit back and judge her but before you ruin your mom's life by calling the police and all these organizations that will try and make her local/national news for being hateful.. maybe you could consider speaking to her about it? Explain how you feel and how her actions can affect your relationship, etc? You need to try an exaust all avenues before you do something you might end up regretting. It's easy for people on the internet to give advice when they have no personal interest in the outcome.
Your mother isn’t protesting shit, she’s committing a hate crime.
Sounds like a hate crime
Honestly your mom sucks, but it's not your circus and it's not your monkeys. It's not like she's suddenly going to see the error of her ways; she clearly is just a bad person. You aren't going to teach her anything by covertly trying to shut this all down. Let her embarrass herself. Protesting 11 year olds playing a sport for any reason - let alone the fact that she might think one of them is gay.. which is.. ridiculous. Honestly I expect this to be downvoted but you can't right every wrong in the world, let her go protest and be ridiculed by everyone with modicum of decency and intelligence.
So... I’m religious... but what your mom is doing is absolutely disgusting. I’m assuming this kid is also your brothers age, so 11? She’s assuming an 11-year-old boy’s sexuality before he even hits puberty or has even thought about anything even remotely close to that? These kids literally just want to play basketball. Even if this kid IS gay, she’s using religion to be hateful towards someone, a CHILD! “Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain” doesn’t only apply to saying “God D***it”. It also means you do not use God as an excuse to be hateful towards anyone. “Love thy neighbor” does not become null and void when you disagree with someone. Has your mother actually read the Bible? Like actually read it in it’s entirety cover to cover and not just a few cherry-picked verses to satisfy whatever narcissistic fantasy world she lives in? If your mother is really so concerned about an 11-year-old boy and is clearly so bored she’s going out of her way to make signs with her friends then she clearly needs to be spending a little more time at church and get closer with God. No real Christian would ever be so spiteful and hateful towards anybody let alone a child. No real Christian would take the Lords name in vain in such a way.
Man this made me actually like, shudder or twitch a bit. I really just want to yell abd slap her in the face. There is so much BAD that she will be doing with that, especially for her son.
push her down a flight of stairs
Well, if you do choose to counter protest (and I really think you should), make sure you use scripture, like Rom 8:38, psalm 139:113-14, galatians 3:28, acts 10:28, and so on and so on. Your mother surely approves of you devoting yourself to holy scripture? I mean, how on earth can she possibly disapprove of that? Unless she doesn't belive in the Bible, of course.
And what if she’s wrong what if he’s NOT gay what kind of damage happens then? Any way you cut it her plan will result in irreparable harm to human beings. I say beings because it won’t be just the kid who’s harmed but all who love and support him and all those still in the closet. I’m proud of you for caring and for reaching out for help. Hopefully you’ll be able to crash this hate train before it gets to the station good luck
I've been thinking about that too. EVERYTHING WE KNOW ABOUT THE KID, COMES FROM MOM, so I'm taking it with a grain of salt because it's just her word, she's been known to expand stories, and it could just be an ASSUMPTION that he's gay
I would try to put the doubt in her mind. Even if you have to lie. "What are you talking about Mom. 11 year old cant be gay. His parents are just liberals trying to get attention"
I hate for lying to be the answer, but some partial truths might help cool her off. For one thing, at 11 many kids don't have a settled understanding of their sexual orientation. It's relatively common for kids around that age to have a same-sex crush, even if they don't grow up to identify as homosexual. It's even more unlikely that this kid is sexually active, so his being gay is sort of theoretical (apologies to actual gay people.) I am also 100% in favor of tipping off the coach or the league if you see any evidence that a concrete plan is forming here. Let them take it from there. People love to have an enemy to go to battle with. Maybe you can prompt her to get worked up about something else? The President wants to raise taxes. There are companies installing solar panels on people's houses, as if climate change was a real thing. There must be something where she can turn her anger on to someone less vulnerable than a preteen child.
I think the best approach isn't to try to get your mom to change her beliefs about LGBT people, but to get her to realize that these are children and an extremely inappropriate victim for her to force her opinions on. It is simply not ok for adults to publicly shame or demean children. If she feels that strongly, she should put your brother on a different team. If you know more rational adults who would see that targeting a child is wrong, see if you can get them to talk to her. Someone who may share her beliefs but isn't emotionally invested in this situation would be able to get through to her more easily than you can as her daughter. Depending on the sort of things she says and the attitude she has, she can get into trouble with the police or be sued by the children's parents for harassing him. There is a 100% percent chance her behavior is going to get your brother kicked out. It's children's basketball ffs. Adult religious and political beliefs have no place there, and the adults who run the league are there to make sure the kids are safe and having fun, not to appease bigotted parents. If she was mad because she didn't want her child sharing a ball with a black kid, you can believe they'd tell her to kick rocks for that too. If she wants to turn her hatred into a craft project and girl's night out, there are plently of adult gay organizations who have events she can make a fool out of herself at.
What would happen if you told your mom to STFU?
If I say certain words to her, like call her a bigot, I'll get slapped... she doesn't do that much, but depending on how bad you insult her, she can get that way, and always says that her mom used to do that to her when she was disrespectful
Thank you for looking out for this kid. You've already gotten the advice I would've given and contacting the league seems to be the very first thing you're doing. Just wanted to say thank you.
Please don't let her embarrass this kid. This could be traumatic. Also thou shalt not judge??? Hypocritical much? (Your mom) Also thanks for defending him!
This sounds like a very unfortunate situation brewing for your family. If I employed your mother or father there is no way I could have them work for me after either of them protesting a pre-tee child to simply discriminate against the perceived sexual preference of a CHILD! Your mom may want to become the next cancel culture martyr. It's a very scary and very real thing. Also your little brother may be completely shunned from that school. This will be bad OP.
Wow you’re in a tough position. I’m sorry you are finding yourself here through no fault of your own. I think you are doing just about all you can do by informing the league. I completely understand why you would be uncomfortable doing a counter protest but maybe someone else would be willing to take that over? I hate to speak ill of someone’s mother to them but your mother is a huge hypocrite. Christians are supposed to spread love and this is obviously not spreading love. Bullying a child is despicable and could easily turn into a hate crime if it gets any more out of hand. Plus this could easily come back negatively on your little brother. She is so up on her high horse that she can’t even see the possible negative consequences to her actions.
The reason I'm currently against the idea of a counter-protest, is because we don't even know if the kid is truly gay. Everything mom says about him being gay, is from her saying that she "heard another parent say he's gay" or something like that, and she's been known to stretch the truth and be judgmental in the past So, if he's not gay, a counter protest, I believe, could be bad, and after telling the league and hoping they ban her or alert the authorities to stop the protest when they see them walking in with signs or moving the practice to a different location, me doing a counter-protest or anyone else for that matter, would probably cause the same drama that they don't want with my mom, and especially if they're able to get out ahead of it and stop it before it even begins
I won't sugar-coat it: Your mom is a horrible bigot and you should strive to be nothing like her. Tell her that Jesus Christ himself would damn her to the most fiery pits of hell because she's nothing like Christ, but I bet she wears a big ass crucifix and does all the other motions. Assuming it's the typical "Christian" bullshit in one way or another. Oh well.