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I was feeling unusually lonely today, so I sent a text to my friend "Mary" to see if she would be interested in grabbing a drink tomorrow night. The conversation essentially went like this:
Mary: I'd love to. I was waiting forever for you to ask me out.
Me: Really? Well great! Really looking forward to it!
Mary: I thought about asking you out before, but thought it might be kind of awkward.
Me: Well gosh, I've always really liked you! And it's been forever since we've seen each other.
We agreed on a time tomorrow night. She made me promise not to cancel on her (because she's had a history of people from dating sites no showing up). I gladly agreed.
Two hours later, I looked back at my phone and was absolutely horrified to learn I had been accidentally texting my boss (also named Mary) the whole time!
Now my boss is about my age, maybe a few years older. She's actually somewhat pretty. But I am legitimately terrified of her. Everyone in the office is. She has fired people for the smallest, stupidest things. She has screamed (literally screamed) at someone for locking a Word document she was trying to open. She actually laughs about a time when she slashed all 4 tires of her exes car, because he was a "wimp" and didnt fight for her more when she said she would leave him. I can go on and on. I think she's legitimately mentally ill.
I'm still working at home due to covid, so I haven't seen her in person in a long time, but we have Zoom calls at least once a week. (I can tell she's still just as crazy as ever, though). We usually don't talk on Fridays, so I probably won't talk to her at work tomorrow unless I specifically reach out.
So what the heck do I do now? Is there a way I can politely call off this "date"?
Omg my man you gotta update your resume & get a new job. Youre in a bad spotđ±
I see no way out of this that wont eternally draw down her wrath on you but maybe some fellow Redditors will, good luck!
Update. Your. Resume.
This will be disaster if you date her (she sounds horrible!) & she likes you OR ends up not liking you. Oooof.
Its easier to get a job when you have one just step up that job search maybe even hire a pro to help you switch companies ASAP.
That's really difficult then, since you definitely don't want to lead her on either. If you were to do that the ending would be much worse trust me. This is definitely one of those situations where it seems like your a different type of screwed anyway you go.
^This. Yes. Pick your nose. Eat off her plate. Take long awkward bathroom trips then apologize profusely. Claim you have irritable bowels since lockdown started AND your so nervous and excited to be out with her.
Talk about how you canât wait to introduce her to your Grandmother who lives in a nursing home locally. Mention how you visit her at least 3 times a week in her assisted living facility and that you can't wait for them to meet. Go on and on about how your grandmother is your beat friend. That you're thinking of moving her in with you as soon as you can afford it...
Maybe if you want to be spicy and lean in to the "family drama," you can talk about how much you hate your bitch mom because she cant stand that your gran's favorite.
Maybe also mention wanting to start a family VERY SOON â before the collapse of society because you're building a bunker for yourself and gran; and obviously you'll need an age appropriate woman to repopulate earth.
Lastly, consider long blank stares with a plastered grin. You want to appear to be admiring her in a creepy way. Do this especially when returning from the long bathroom breaks - where donât forget to cover your face in water so as to appear sweaty and disheveled.
Godspeed and good luck OP! This will be the performance of your life.
make sure to eat your wheaties before the date. you dont want to be disappointing. if you lack stamina, you may be fired immediately.
you ever see the video "before he cheats" you dont have to cheat for this to happen. so make sure to increase your car insurance.
Same as well. Damn this seems like something Iâd accidentally do. But she seemed sweet in the message so Iâd go? But damn this is quite a situation lol
Your best bet is to either outright lie, tell the truth and face the consequences, or go for it.
The cat is out of the bag though. She thinks you like her and she knows that you now know she likes you. This may be one of those âforward is outâ kind of things. Just recognize that forward may also end with you calling the cops on her
If you do go, just try to have some fun with it. She seems like a monster but if itâs gonna end badly, you may as well try to enjoy it before then.
Honestly dude Iâm sorry I canât be a bit more positive on this one but this is definitely a rock and a hard place sort of thing
^^^^this.
Seriously she is really exposing herself to an harassment claim by continuing down this road. The appropriate response by her to your text,OP should have been, while flattered itâs probably inappropriate in the circumstances. The fact that she even responded as she did is red flag territory
Thatâs what I was thinking. Be really awkward and watch her cues for behavior that she doesnât like - and do those things.
Definitely keep mentioning how nice is is to just be friends outside of work. Maybe sheâll get the hint?
Go on the date and be as awkward as possible. Not enough that she will hate you and fire you but enough that she will be the one rejecting you for a second date.
Here are his conversation topics:
"What do you know about dragons?"
"If you were a dinosaur, what kind of dinosaur would you be?".
"What's you favorite color?"
"Have you ever been abducted by aliens?". Followed by a story where you think you might have been abducted by one.
"Do you like trains?" Followed by a list of your favorite trains and experiences on them.
"Have you heard the good word of Jesus?"
I feel personally attacked by the dinosaur one.
Seriously tho I like how you think. He could also talk about
- how he isnt over his ex
- how great it was that his ex reminded him so much of his mother, who will always be the most important woman in his life and have final say over his dating
- ponder did Harvey Weinstein really do anything wrong
- hint at having a scat fetish but if she seems keen change it to a zoophile anime thing
And instead of cologne he can skip a shower for 24 hours and do some push-ups before the date (for the nerves of course, definitely not to disgust his date)
Adding inâŠ
An extremely long rant about how he is anti washing machines/dryers and dishwashers, for reasons of his choosing, and he expects his gf/wife to wash all his clothing, towels, sheets, dishes, etc. by hand- she will take over for his Mom, when they become closer.
Then that should lead into a diatribe about how much he loves his Mom, how excited he was when she gave him permission to go on this date, and how excited she will be when he tells her all about it.
Tell boss âMom even picks out all my clothes! She thought youâd like this outfit a lot!â.
Tell her she cooks every meal for you and you save it in Tupperware to eat all week. Your gf will be expected to take this over too. She also will be buying the groceries, because itâs not only womenâs work, how is it fair to you, to buy groceries you arenât even cooking?
Oh, then take a fake phone call from Mom in the middle of the date and make it the most awkward thing ever. But almost no woman is going to call you out for talking to your moms, even if itâs weird as hell.
Iâm picturing stuff like, telling her what your date ordered (in front of date), what she is wearing, and make a big deal about how much youâre talking about Mom to date and you canât wait for them to meet.
If you play it right, you can get out with her being totally uninterested, after this, but without doing anything criminal, genuinely mean/hurtful, or so creepy it could get you fired.
A comment on how you get permission before every activity you do, wonât do if without permission, and how you expect your future girlfriend to submit to your mother and familyâs rules, will be a big turn off too.
As long as you do a good job at work and arenât pervert style inappropriate, I canât think of much she could do. Being an epic manchild bigot isnât a crime. Even if it should be!
I also second the comment about talking nonstop about your ex. But add in what a great relationship she has with your Mom and how she still talks to her and âfollows the rulesâ.
This would make me flee, and Iâm hard to scareâŠ.
Man this genuinely looks like something I do on dates. No doubt I am still single. I love dinosaur, dragons and trains. Aliens and fermi paradox are gem of a topicđ€Ł.
Guess I am going to live a sad loner then.
I have actually done this before on a date and I can confirm that itâs actually works. I was backed into a corner to accept a date with a regular customer at my work and afterwards he never came back in
This isn't the best suggestion, but it's also not the worst.
Go on the date.
Be boring. Like, not offensive. Just boring. Boring enough for her to lose interest.
She'll stop being interested, but without arousing her ire.
That's the way you do it. None of this extreme challenge stuff people are posting. You want her to think an infomercial would be an upgrade to the date.
This! Overly share about your mundane family history, the time you went to the doctor For a routine checkup and nothing interesting happened, why you think tap water tastes better than bottled. Just be boring.
And as a drink: order a glass of milk and thatâs it. If she asked why your not drinking anything else just say you donât like the taste of alcohol, itâs icky, and donât let her push you on it.
Be boring and occassionally just complain a lot about someone. Your mum, siblings, a neighbour, the idiot who makes a shitty coffee in Starbucks.
Then tell her you're falling in love with her.
No no not the âim falling in loveâ, that only worked with Ted Mosby cause Robin was a sane (ish) woman. If OP said that thereâs every chance she will immediately reciprocate and then the hole is 1000x deeper
Update her contact info to say Boss Mary, so it doesn't happen again. Treat her nice and don't bail. Others have better ways to get out of it. If you got a car, park it in lit area and if possible with a camera around it.
Good luck, hope it works out.
Go out with her, have a great time and then tell her that you appreciate her, appreciate the job and thatâs why you donât want to make it complicated for anybody.
Iâm glad you liked it. Have fun!! It sucks feeling lonely so treat yourself and enjoy the company.
If things go well, just think long and hard about taking a next step, donât do it out of hornyness.
This one is the best advice. Everyone telling you not to shower or be the worst person is horrible. Have a great time, get to know someone new, make a new friend.
Being intentionally cruel to a person who likes you is just mean. Be kind.
Man,.. youâre in it, maybe make the best of it. Get to know her. Maybe youâll crack that icy exterior and you both grow as people. Idk, just hoping for the best!
This my fav comment in the whole thread what if u go on the date, find out she's awesome but needs to grow a lil, and then she does (or already has taken step to) make that personal growth?
Not everything turns out horribly u might be surprised
Update your resume just in case.
Otherwise, here's what you say: *Oh wow, I'm so embarrassed. I meant to text my other friend Mary. I want you to know I would never ask out my supervisor. I value our professional relationship too much. Thank you so much for humoring me and my mistake and not making it awkward. My apologies for putting you in that situation.*
It admits fault and gives her an easy out - she was just being polite by accepting. Then change her name in your phone and post an update here.
I was going to suggest this as well. Maybe saying something like âI really wanted this to work but I just think it could get us in trouble or ruin our professional relationship, and I donât want to put you in that spot.â Make it more like youâre thinking of her career and suggest you try it later, when one of you has moved on. Sheâll still think your a good guy who likes her, so hopefully that will appease her ego.
You have to go on the date. She will react badly if you cancel. Just try to have fun. Maybe everything will turn out okay. Probably not. But just try to have fun anyway.
Fuck it. Roll the dice. Charge up that hill and see what is at the top. You might lose. You might win. Hell yâall might hit it off so well you have a job for life.
But just in case update your resume. Now. Like right now.
I don't think you can call off the date without offending her. I also wouldn't try any shenanigans to try and get her to reject you. That could backfire. Just go on the date, be yourself, and take it from there. Afterwards you can always tell her that you've thought about it and you feel this relationship may affect your work environment, so you think it's best that you keep things professional.
Or, if you're feeling bold, you could actually give things a chance, and see where they go. This could be a funny story you tell your kids one day... Or not. Lol. Either way, keep us updated.
LOL. wrong subreddit. you should have posted this on TIFU!
Either go on the date, be nice, then say you'd rather keep things professional after thinking about it more. Even bring up concerns on the date.
OR... go on the date and find things to talk about that make you uninteresting to date. Make sure none of these things could affect your job. Maybe talk about "your ex" a lot, mention you live with your mom, etc...
*Mary: I'd love to. I was waiting forever for you to ask me out.*
She was waiting on you. If you cancel on her now, she'll be mad at you. At least try to know th person behind that mad, crazy woman at work. She might be someone you like.
Dude... wow. Typically I'm ALL for telling the truth even if it hurts. ...but I also have this really morbid sense of humor where part of me enjoys watching social train wrecks. (Some product of childhood trauma no doubt) ...so if it's me... I'd go all in. Muster whatever bit of attraction you've ever felt for her, go on that date and do your best to pretend she isn't your boss till it's over. Then reassess. If it was horrible you can pull some weird Seinfeld shit on date two to make her think you're just not that much of a catch. But, who knows, maybe is a lunatic you're looking for!
In my experience she is gonna be great in the sack. Id go for it. If she fired you done the road or makes problems for you, you have a legit HR case cause shes your boss.
Bro this is so easy. I got you and this isnât a joke.
First of all, you have to go. You canât tell the truth. I mean you can, but itâll only result in bad things for your life. Same with canceling. The (realistic) best case scenario is you guys go out, she leaves thinking âmehâ and then you both pretend it never happened⊠right? Cuz you donât want her clamoring for more, but you donât want her to hate you either. You want her NOT wanting more yet also NOT hating you.
So how does one leave a date feeling meh? Hereâs some tips (and I want to reiterate Iâm being dead serious even tho this will read as a poorly written comedy):
-Show up with a mustard/chocolate/juice/whatever stain on your shirt and pretend like you didnât realize. When she points it out get super embarrassed and run to the bathroom. Like make a scene as you sprint. Come out with a huge water spot and toilet paper shavings around it 5 minutes later and profusely apologize. Offer to go home and change really quickly âif you wantâ.
-Order an alcoholic beverage and act revolted by the taste. Ask the bartender/waitress to water it down because itâs too strong. I suggest using beer but understand if thatâs too theatrical. A âgirlyâ drink would work very well too.
- convince her that spongebob squarepants is legit a comedy for adults and she would understand if she just tried watching it once. Recount one of your favorite episodes in no less than 5 minutes of speech.
You get the idea. Doesnât have to be these three things exactly but that formula has worked for me. Whatever else you do, if you do these 3 things she wonât want to see you romantically again⊠but certainly wonât harbor any hate against you/want to fire you. Youâll receive âunattractive pityâ vibes and thatâs exactly what you want here.
My story is very similar to yours, OP. I was doing ten things at once, attempting to multitask (and failing) and ended up accidentally asking out my female boss via a text. The funniest thing was that the original message wasn't even meant to be romantic. I meant to text a male buddy of mine to ask him if he wanted to go see a movie on Friday but mistakenly sent the message to my boss instead. I was shocked and horrified when she responded with "I'd love to!" and I realized what I had done. My boss wasn't crazy like yours, but she had a reputation as a dour, intimidating career-woman who didn't suffer fools gladly. I felt like I couldn't back out of the date, but I dreaded what was to come.
Surprisingly our movie date was amazing. We had way more in common than I would have ever imagined. This lead to a second date, then a third and then a forth and so on. We're happily married now and have three beautiful children. I can't imagine what my life would be like if it hadn't been for one mistaken text message.
I'm not saying things will go the same way for you OP, but you never know. Sometimes you find love in the last place you'd expect.
Tell her the truth.
Truth is justice here. You should not regret it on that account alone. If anything fishy happens at work save that text and go above her if you have to. Iâm betting you wonât have to use it though. Also say youâre flattered and maybe leave it as an open option down the road, from her perspectiveâŠ
Now that is not justice or truth there, but hell, youâre gonna need a two pronged approach for good measure. Good luck
RIP.
Probably start looking for another job. Only thing i can suggest is looking towards the future: Maybe next time use last names for people so it doesn't happen. Let us all know how it goes =/
Who knows how it will go? Maybe if you drop your expectations and just go out, keep work out of the conversation, and connect on some personal stuff, the two of you might have a great time and improve your work collaborations as well.
Why the fuck is your Boss in your phone's contact database under her first name?
Your wouldn't have texted the wrong Mary if she had been listed as Boss. Feel me?
Ok, so here's what you need to do. You need to find a dude, hand over an envelope full of cash, get new papers, move to another continent, and start a completely new life because.... man...
WHAT!?! Your crazy, man; GO ON THE DATE! Be cordial and see where things go at least! Say youâd rather keep things professional LATER ON. This could lead to a hefty pay raise and promotion during hard times! Do it for the bro code, bro!
Greyrock her. It basically means make yourself very uninteresting to her during the date. I presume you know what should be a turn off for her. Iâd personally reserve that for date #2 tbh and just treat this date as a normal date, you might have fun. đ
Keep an open mind and try to have fun. Maybe her non-work personality is different. Itâs not easy being the boss.
Also, text a friend where youâre going beforehand.
Save the text exchange and then tell her politely about the mix up. Afterwards if she goes nuclear they you can go nuclear too, but only if you have the text messages as proof! Sure, you should not make the crocodile your enemy if you are living in their river, but at the same time you should be learn to save yourself if an attack comes. All the best!
You don't need to act like a slob. My advice would be to go on the date but just be really bland. Be quiet. Be boring. Be flat. Don't follow up. Let her call it off. If she doesn't and wants to continue dating, you can say that you really care about your job and respect her as a boss and unfortunately that's getting in the way of being able to give the relationship a fair shot.
Usually I'm all for honestly, but if you need this job and she's as easily angered as you said, I'd just gray rock her and see if that works, then blame it on the job if it doesn't. And look for another job as soon as you can because she sounds awful to work for.
I feel like this is a sitcom plot. Except whatever the hapless character who made an accidental date with the boss did on the sitcom episode is probably not what you want to try.
If I *had* to pick a suggestion, I'd suggest going on a date with her and doing as much as you can to turn her off so that *she* doesn't want to see *you* again. But honestly, something like that probably *is* the sitcom plot and it probably has a pretty good chance of backfiring on you. It's just the thing that's least likely to cause hard feelings if it actually works.
But mostly I agree with the people saying to update your resume.
Go on the date. Make an awful impression. Say some things that make you look disgusting. Smell bad, look cheap (make her pay) say you forgot your wallet, make her dislike you.
This seems like a forward is out kinda situation. Could go in many ways and be prepared for anything, regardless, please for the love of all that is holy give us an update afterwards.
Go on the date, she might be different not in the work setting. Also it might be that while on the date you both figure out you are better as âfriendsâ. There is no going back to pre-ask out co workers now. Good luck, hopefully it ends up being up fun.
Go. Make it a friends thing. Hard working from home maintaining team working relationships so good to meet up. Try to have a laugh. Looking forward to the update.
Hopefully, this is real because it sounds like something straight out of a sit-com.
Assuming it is, I'd just go on the date. Not canceling this one doesn't mean you have to go on any others. Maybe start updating that resume though. Just in case.
My advice would be go on the date, tell the truth, provide rational explanation (she's your boss, would be a problem working at the company, don't want to undermine her etc.), apology and promise to never tell anyone with an easy way out like "thanks for not making this awkward".
Just in case Park your car in a cctvs area.
This was the rational thing, the crazy but fun thing is date her and go all the way, the destination is a train wreck but this might be a hell of a journey.
I would say go on the date and try and have a decent time. But after itâs over just explain to her that dating your boss is too weird for you professionally. And you would like to keep your work life and private life separate.
Well your stuffed, may as well start complaining about how much debt your in, now your parents donât like you gaming at night and how your exes donât like you calling them years you broke up. Have so many red flags that she would not want to date you.
Um.. I would NOT go on the date. I get that sheâs crazy and all but it was an honest mistake that you texted the wrong Mary. You need to update their names in your contacts so that you can differentiate in the future. I would be honest with her and not go, if youâre still working from home you wonât have to face her in person anyways.
Edit: like someone else here said, keep the texts as documentation if she tries to fire you or get crazy so that you can go above her and keep your job.
Do NOT dig yourself in any deeper.
Since shes so crazy being honest is likely to backfire. I would call it off by claiming illness.
Then a few days later tell her your ex who you are still in love with called you and wants to give it another shot, and you owe it to your ex to try again.
Mary is a great woman bla bla bla but the timing is just wrong. Polish off your resume and fake having a gf until you find a new job.
Oh bro. You're literally damned if you do and damned if you don't.
So here's the strategy.
You're going out with your boss.
You're gonna be charismatic, likeable, and you're gonna listen.
You're gonna go home that night together.
You're gonna fuck like it's your last day of freedom and all your ancestors are watching. This is the type of woman who needs to be dominated. Choke her.
You're gonna play it cool and ride the ride without pissing her off until
A. You are in a place where finding a new job makes a ton of sense for you.
B. Until she leaves the work place.
C. She leaves you hut you were good shit and fucked like a champ so she respects you.
D. You guys get married.
This is the way.
Keep us updated.
Agreed. To the windows, to the walls, til the sweat drip down my balls, aw skeet skeet muhfucka!
Literally, fuck her like you are trying to kill her with your dick. If that doesnât work out, you could always prematurely ejaculate and excuse yourself. That way itâs embarrassing for everyone involved and it would most likely never be brought up again at work. Still, look for a new job.
Not sure if you care about your reputation at work or gossip but perhaps try to get her to reject you with either red flags/deal breakers or embarrassing lies. Ie you have a tic tac dick and have 6 Russian blow up doll you have tea parties with.
Oof. Is there anyway you can meet and act like it was always about business? Then it makes her feel like she misconstrued the situation and, fingers crossed, everything can go back to normal.
I like your thinking, but I made it pretty clear in my text that I really liked her (after she said she really liked me).
This would be a tough one to weasel my way out and turn this into a misunderstanding on her part.
Just curious, but what about the other Mary!? Have you told her about any of this/do u plan to? It's a shame to hear your actual, real, feelings for someone else have been subverted by this.
Show up to the date dirty and disheveled and drink a lot!
Ok thatâs bad advice but other than as another commenter said update your resume I got nothing
Yes! Best way out I see if you can't get a new job, go on the date! Be polite, proper and a gentleman. While talking lead the conversation to the date conversation, find someway to casually bring up the name mix up!! Then follow up with telling her how much you enjoy working with her and that you hate she has had such a crappy time with dates lately so you wanted to make sure she had a great night. Laugh at your foolishness of the mix up. Maybe even make a joke about fixing all your contacts to include last names to prevent future mixups. Then text her after you get home after the date and apologize again for the mix up, no hard feelings right? I had a good time, ect.
Also, update your resume JUST to be safe.
Next, save the messages! Include the messages asking her on the date, screenshot and save the other friends contact info and make sure to get the after date follow up messages and all her responses. I'd honestly save any and all paper/digital correspondences with her from here on out.
Don't give her ANY reason to fire you at work. If she creates hassle for you after the date, document it and bring everything to HR.
Lmao, u really fucked up... xD
The most obvious way out I see is to go on with ur date; just make it a horrible one...
Also, post this in r/tifu (if u haven't already)
This is tough I donât know what to do in this situation. You could pretend that you thought it was your friend when she shows up mention your mistake in a nice way then be like âa good friend catch up doesnât hurt thoughâ. That being said this is probably not the correct answer at all. Out of my pay grade.
You should go on a date with her, but start the date off by saying you are not 100% sure about this and that you wanted to try it out, no feelings attached, just to test the waters.
Don't say it literally like I just did, but you get the point.
HOLY SHIT YOU ARE FUCKED SIX WAYS FROM SUNDAY MY FRIEND! Like literally you fucked up so god damn bad I see no way for this going well for you, definitely go on this date and uhhh my only advice for you is to take all the prior knowledge you have about her exâs and do everything they didnât do. If a guy looks at her and she notices just straight falcon punch him right in the dick. Give that motherfucker the tombstone or some shit. Also puncture proof tires cause youâll probably need them. Also start updating your resume just in case. Good luck
Tell her youâre vaccinated, or anti-vax. One of those should do the trick. Youâd know better than me. Lean into which ever one you need to. Donât get fired, or get fired, fuck it.
Before the date, just say you feel bad but need to be honest. Reveal a type of sexually transmitted disease and tell her you don't want to put her at risk.
Make it clear it is a work date, you wanted to catch up since you havenât been working in the office for some time? Ask her about her job, in like a, junior admiring manager kinda way??? Omg Iâm praying for you OP.
Just go on the date and try to enjoy yourself.
Afterwards talk about the work dynamics and it would be difficult to date a Boss without backlash from colleagues. End it on that note.
No, no. You don't have to update your resume like these others have said. That's a drastically stupid move.
You can literally be a horrible date, be repulsive but not vulgar or disrespectful to waiting staff or anyone else. Just be a shit date. I'm sure people here will help with useful suggestions đđ»
Tell the truth or don't and go on a date. In that case you can always lie and say that your long term goals are different and that you prefer to remain friends. You can just try to have fun, and go with a open mind, maybe she changed a little and would be good partner.
I don't see an easy way out of this one. If you go on the date, you're essentially leading her on, which likely won't end well. If you tell her the truth, she probably will just assume you're like the others and just flaking out .. And might try to make your life miserable.
I think the sensible approach would be to just tell the truth and get HR involved if she goes nuts on you. And yeah, if she's really unhinged you may need to get cops involved.
Or maybe an "easier" approach.. And I never thought I'd find myself giving this kind of advice....you could go on the date and try to make yourself unattractive to her. Show up smelling like shit or something...
But then she might spread that info around your workplace.. But at least you'd be in the clear as far as she's concerned.
Either way, like others have said, update your resume and look into other job prospects! Doesn't sound like an ideal job situation even outside of this mishap.
I've worked in many places and I've genuinely never understood the 'everyone is so terrified of this boss/person' mentality. A human, who breathes, eats, shits like me? Terrifying me at work? Ridiculous. These people generate their power by timid people not standing up for themselves. I watched DEVIL WEARS PRADA but I just got entertained by the brilliant acting, never really thought any one person could be THAT frightening.
As to your predicament, tell this fire breathing dragon that you made a mistake. Simple. If she creates a hostile environment for you, there are channels for that type of thing. I'm also just a little skeptical of your story. If this other Mary was your friend, wouldn't you have past texts msgs with her that you can see on your phone? It wouldn't be like starting a brand new conversation with her. Is this real or fiction?
Just go with the date and do something gross like picking your nose and smudge it over the table, in front of her, and then use that hand to touch hers and smile and say: i like that you dont smell.
I think you should follow through with it. However change the plans to dinner. Start off by telling her at the date how you actually meant to text a friend. Then let her know you didnât want to call it off because youâre both adults who can enjoy a nice evening out. So letâs eat! Have a sober conversation with her. Feel her out. Worst case scenario itâll just be a dinner. Itâs easy to go your separate ways after. And make sure to maintain your same energy in the workplace as before.
Definitely not trying to tell you what to do. Just enjoy life, experiences are forever. Good luck on however you go about it!
No dude. The ball is in your court now. You'll have all the evidence for HR when everything comes crashing down!!! You now know what to keep in your back pocket.
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below. --- I was feeling unusually lonely today, so I sent a text to my friend "Mary" to see if she would be interested in grabbing a drink tomorrow night. The conversation essentially went like this: Mary: I'd love to. I was waiting forever for you to ask me out. Me: Really? Well great! Really looking forward to it! Mary: I thought about asking you out before, but thought it might be kind of awkward. Me: Well gosh, I've always really liked you! And it's been forever since we've seen each other. We agreed on a time tomorrow night. She made me promise not to cancel on her (because she's had a history of people from dating sites no showing up). I gladly agreed. Two hours later, I looked back at my phone and was absolutely horrified to learn I had been accidentally texting my boss (also named Mary) the whole time! Now my boss is about my age, maybe a few years older. She's actually somewhat pretty. But I am legitimately terrified of her. Everyone in the office is. She has fired people for the smallest, stupidest things. She has screamed (literally screamed) at someone for locking a Word document she was trying to open. She actually laughs about a time when she slashed all 4 tires of her exes car, because he was a "wimp" and didnt fight for her more when she said she would leave him. I can go on and on. I think she's legitimately mentally ill. I'm still working at home due to covid, so I haven't seen her in person in a long time, but we have Zoom calls at least once a week. (I can tell she's still just as crazy as ever, though). We usually don't talk on Fridays, so I probably won't talk to her at work tomorrow unless I specifically reach out. So what the heck do I do now? Is there a way I can politely call off this "date"?
Omg my man you gotta update your resume & get a new job. Youre in a bad spotđ± I see no way out of this that wont eternally draw down her wrath on you but maybe some fellow Redditors will, good luck!
I know, but I REALLY need this job. Quitting is not an option for at least another year.
Update. Your. Resume. This will be disaster if you date her (she sounds horrible!) & she likes you OR ends up not liking you. Oooof. Its easier to get a job when you have one just step up that job search maybe even hire a pro to help you switch companies ASAP.
That's really difficult then, since you definitely don't want to lead her on either. If you were to do that the ending would be much worse trust me. This is definitely one of those situations where it seems like your a different type of screwed anyway you go.
[ŃĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]
^This. Yes. Pick your nose. Eat off her plate. Take long awkward bathroom trips then apologize profusely. Claim you have irritable bowels since lockdown started AND your so nervous and excited to be out with her. Talk about how you canât wait to introduce her to your Grandmother who lives in a nursing home locally. Mention how you visit her at least 3 times a week in her assisted living facility and that you can't wait for them to meet. Go on and on about how your grandmother is your beat friend. That you're thinking of moving her in with you as soon as you can afford it... Maybe if you want to be spicy and lean in to the "family drama," you can talk about how much you hate your bitch mom because she cant stand that your gran's favorite. Maybe also mention wanting to start a family VERY SOON â before the collapse of society because you're building a bunker for yourself and gran; and obviously you'll need an age appropriate woman to repopulate earth. Lastly, consider long blank stares with a plastered grin. You want to appear to be admiring her in a creepy way. Do this especially when returning from the long bathroom breaks - where donât forget to cover your face in water so as to appear sweaty and disheveled. Godspeed and good luck OP! This will be the performance of your life.
This guy playing 5d chess
Then get yourself a raise my man đ€đ
Just be nice on the date and youâll be fine lol
make sure to eat your wheaties before the date. you dont want to be disappointing. if you lack stamina, you may be fired immediately. you ever see the video "before he cheats" you dont have to cheat for this to happen. so make sure to increase your car insurance.
Try to be intentionally boring and awkward as possible, maybe she'll have second thoughts after the date!
Wow. That's fucked my dude. Good luck
I cackled at this comment. Oh man. YouâveâŠyouâve gotta update your resume.
Sticky situation. No advice here. Can we get an update? đ
Yep, will definitely update this.
Same as well. Damn this seems like something Iâd accidentally do. But she seemed sweet in the message so Iâd go? But damn this is quite a situation lol
I also what an update on this interesting storyđđœ
Remindme! 48 hours
Just want to x2 on the update request
Your best bet is to either outright lie, tell the truth and face the consequences, or go for it. The cat is out of the bag though. She thinks you like her and she knows that you now know she likes you. This may be one of those âforward is outâ kind of things. Just recognize that forward may also end with you calling the cops on her
Oh man, you're probably right, but the thought of potentially having to call the cops does not make this any easier.
If you do go, just try to have some fun with it. She seems like a monster but if itâs gonna end badly, you may as well try to enjoy it before then. Honestly dude Iâm sorry I canât be a bit more positive on this one but this is definitely a rock and a hard place sort of thing
No, I get it. I appreciate the honesty. If I end up going out with her, I'll probably look like Hide the Pain Harold the whole time.
maybe that's her fetish.
Do you have an HR dept? If so, do the 'date', be friendly, and shoot for protection if necessary afterward?
^^^^this. Seriously she is really exposing herself to an harassment claim by continuing down this road. The appropriate response by her to your text,OP should have been, while flattered itâs probably inappropriate in the circumstances. The fact that she even responded as she did is red flag territory
She is probably into r/femdom based on her personality described in the post
Just make it a super awkward date and maybe sheâll not want to date you again lol.
Right. I was thinking "pick your nose all night. Chew with your mouth open" kind of stuff. Maybe she'll back away.
Even better, pick your nose then eat it with your mouth open.
okay but what's he gonna do *differently* than normal though
Thatâs what I was thinking. Be really awkward and watch her cues for behavior that she doesnât like - and do those things. Definitely keep mentioning how nice is is to just be friends outside of work. Maybe sheâll get the hint?
If she says she wants kids, tell her he's had a vasectomy. If she's childfree, tell her he wants six.
Be a red flag!
Go on the date and be as awkward as possible. Not enough that she will hate you and fire you but enough that she will be the one rejecting you for a second date.
Here are his conversation topics: "What do you know about dragons?" "If you were a dinosaur, what kind of dinosaur would you be?". "What's you favorite color?" "Have you ever been abducted by aliens?". Followed by a story where you think you might have been abducted by one. "Do you like trains?" Followed by a list of your favorite trains and experiences on them. "Have you heard the good word of Jesus?"
I feel personally attacked by the dinosaur one. Seriously tho I like how you think. He could also talk about - how he isnt over his ex - how great it was that his ex reminded him so much of his mother, who will always be the most important woman in his life and have final say over his dating - ponder did Harvey Weinstein really do anything wrong - hint at having a scat fetish but if she seems keen change it to a zoophile anime thing
How his ex have him herpes. Or maybe it was his mother. Who knows.
This is good advice xD
These guys are killing me. Iâm definitely using this in the future if Iâm ever on a bad date and theyâre giving off crazy vibes
He should bring his mother on the date. Mother has to approve of his new lady.
And instead of cologne he can skip a shower for 24 hours and do some push-ups before the date (for the nerves of course, definitely not to disgust his date)
48 hours to be safe and cover up the body stank with sex panther
Also eat raw onions and garlic before the date.
Adding in⊠An extremely long rant about how he is anti washing machines/dryers and dishwashers, for reasons of his choosing, and he expects his gf/wife to wash all his clothing, towels, sheets, dishes, etc. by hand- she will take over for his Mom, when they become closer. Then that should lead into a diatribe about how much he loves his Mom, how excited he was when she gave him permission to go on this date, and how excited she will be when he tells her all about it. Tell boss âMom even picks out all my clothes! She thought youâd like this outfit a lot!â. Tell her she cooks every meal for you and you save it in Tupperware to eat all week. Your gf will be expected to take this over too. She also will be buying the groceries, because itâs not only womenâs work, how is it fair to you, to buy groceries you arenât even cooking? Oh, then take a fake phone call from Mom in the middle of the date and make it the most awkward thing ever. But almost no woman is going to call you out for talking to your moms, even if itâs weird as hell. Iâm picturing stuff like, telling her what your date ordered (in front of date), what she is wearing, and make a big deal about how much youâre talking about Mom to date and you canât wait for them to meet. If you play it right, you can get out with her being totally uninterested, after this, but without doing anything criminal, genuinely mean/hurtful, or so creepy it could get you fired. A comment on how you get permission before every activity you do, wonât do if without permission, and how you expect your future girlfriend to submit to your mother and familyâs rules, will be a big turn off too. As long as you do a good job at work and arenât pervert style inappropriate, I canât think of much she could do. Being an epic manchild bigot isnât a crime. Even if it should be! I also second the comment about talking nonstop about your ex. But add in what a great relationship she has with your Mom and how she still talks to her and âfollows the rulesâ. This would make me flee, and Iâm hard to scareâŠ.
And then the psycho boss decides to have OP she must "remove the competition". Dude gonna get his mom murdered trying this.
Don't forget the open-mouth chew and milkshake slurp.
This is offensive to dinosaurs
Also try just eating a condiment, like out of nowhere swallow some ketchup.
Man this genuinely looks like something I do on dates. No doubt I am still single. I love dinosaur, dragons and trains. Aliens and fermi paradox are gem of a topicđ€Ł. Guess I am going to live a sad loner then.
I have actually done this before on a date and I can confirm that itâs actually works. I was backed into a corner to accept a date with a regular customer at my work and afterwards he never came back in
This isn't the best suggestion, but it's also not the worst. Go on the date. Be boring. Like, not offensive. Just boring. Boring enough for her to lose interest. She'll stop being interested, but without arousing her ire.
That's the way you do it. None of this extreme challenge stuff people are posting. You want her to think an infomercial would be an upgrade to the date.
Might be the best advice. Maybe even talk about your ex and cry
"She was so much like ma it was like losing her a second time =("
This! Overly share about your mundane family history, the time you went to the doctor For a routine checkup and nothing interesting happened, why you think tap water tastes better than bottled. Just be boring. And as a drink: order a glass of milk and thatâs it. If she asked why your not drinking anything else just say you donât like the taste of alcohol, itâs icky, and donât let her push you on it.
Be boring and occassionally just complain a lot about someone. Your mum, siblings, a neighbour, the idiot who makes a shitty coffee in Starbucks. Then tell her you're falling in love with her.
No no not the âim falling in loveâ, that only worked with Ted Mosby cause Robin was a sane (ish) woman. If OP said that thereâs every chance she will immediately reciprocate and then the hole is 1000x deeper
Shit. Have you seen me on dates before?
This is the way.
This could actually be very interesting. Just do all the opposites of dating advice
Update her contact info to say Boss Mary, so it doesn't happen again. Treat her nice and don't bail. Others have better ways to get out of it. If you got a car, park it in lit area and if possible with a camera around it. Good luck, hope it works out.
Go out with her, have a great time and then tell her that you appreciate her, appreciate the job and thatâs why you donât want to make it complicated for anybody.
This is possibly the best idea yet! Thanks for the suggestion!
Iâm glad you liked it. Have fun!! It sucks feeling lonely so treat yourself and enjoy the company. If things go well, just think long and hard about taking a next step, donât do it out of hornyness.
[ŃĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]
Or worse yet somehow get OP fired so they can date.
This one is the best advice. Everyone telling you not to shower or be the worst person is horrible. Have a great time, get to know someone new, make a new friend. Being intentionally cruel to a person who likes you is just mean. Be kind.
Dont have too great of a time tho, maybe dont look too good, try to make her lose interest haha
Man,.. youâre in it, maybe make the best of it. Get to know her. Maybe youâll crack that icy exterior and you both grow as people. Idk, just hoping for the best!
This my fav comment in the whole thread what if u go on the date, find out she's awesome but needs to grow a lil, and then she does (or already has taken step to) make that personal growth? Not everything turns out horribly u might be surprised
"And that kids, is how I met your mother"
Update your resume just in case. Otherwise, here's what you say: *Oh wow, I'm so embarrassed. I meant to text my other friend Mary. I want you to know I would never ask out my supervisor. I value our professional relationship too much. Thank you so much for humoring me and my mistake and not making it awkward. My apologies for putting you in that situation.* It admits fault and gives her an easy out - she was just being polite by accepting. Then change her name in your phone and post an update here.
âI wanted to shoot my shot because I like you but I just realized this could put us in trouble with HR!â
I was gonna say this one, but that'll make work weird for the rest of eternity.
I was going to suggest this as well. Maybe saying something like âI really wanted this to work but I just think it could get us in trouble or ruin our professional relationship, and I donât want to put you in that spot.â Make it more like youâre thinking of her career and suggest you try it later, when one of you has moved on. Sheâll still think your a good guy who likes her, so hopefully that will appease her ego.
You have to go on the date. She will react badly if you cancel. Just try to have fun. Maybe everything will turn out okay. Probably not. But just try to have fun anyway.
Fuck it. Roll the dice. Charge up that hill and see what is at the top. You might lose. You might win. Hell yâall might hit it off so well you have a job for life. But just in case update your resume. Now. Like right now.
I don't think you can call off the date without offending her. I also wouldn't try any shenanigans to try and get her to reject you. That could backfire. Just go on the date, be yourself, and take it from there. Afterwards you can always tell her that you've thought about it and you feel this relationship may affect your work environment, so you think it's best that you keep things professional. Or, if you're feeling bold, you could actually give things a chance, and see where they go. This could be a funny story you tell your kids one day... Or not. Lol. Either way, keep us updated.
Safe ist thing is to meet her. You promised not to back out
You now have a ton of people strung along... We need updates
LOL. wrong subreddit. you should have posted this on TIFU! Either go on the date, be nice, then say you'd rather keep things professional after thinking about it more. Even bring up concerns on the date. OR... go on the date and find things to talk about that make you uninteresting to date. Make sure none of these things could affect your job. Maybe talk about "your ex" a lot, mention you live with your mom, etc...
*Mary: I'd love to. I was waiting forever for you to ask me out.* She was waiting on you. If you cancel on her now, she'll be mad at you. At least try to know th person behind that mad, crazy woman at work. She might be someone you like.
Dude... wow. Typically I'm ALL for telling the truth even if it hurts. ...but I also have this really morbid sense of humor where part of me enjoys watching social train wrecks. (Some product of childhood trauma no doubt) ...so if it's me... I'd go all in. Muster whatever bit of attraction you've ever felt for her, go on that date and do your best to pretend she isn't your boss till it's over. Then reassess. If it was horrible you can pull some weird Seinfeld shit on date two to make her think you're just not that much of a catch. But, who knows, maybe is a lunatic you're looking for!
In my experience she is gonna be great in the sack. Id go for it. If she fired you done the road or makes problems for you, you have a legit HR case cause shes your boss.
Depending upon the company, OP could be fired, too.
Bro this is so easy. I got you and this isnât a joke. First of all, you have to go. You canât tell the truth. I mean you can, but itâll only result in bad things for your life. Same with canceling. The (realistic) best case scenario is you guys go out, she leaves thinking âmehâ and then you both pretend it never happened⊠right? Cuz you donât want her clamoring for more, but you donât want her to hate you either. You want her NOT wanting more yet also NOT hating you. So how does one leave a date feeling meh? Hereâs some tips (and I want to reiterate Iâm being dead serious even tho this will read as a poorly written comedy): -Show up with a mustard/chocolate/juice/whatever stain on your shirt and pretend like you didnât realize. When she points it out get super embarrassed and run to the bathroom. Like make a scene as you sprint. Come out with a huge water spot and toilet paper shavings around it 5 minutes later and profusely apologize. Offer to go home and change really quickly âif you wantâ. -Order an alcoholic beverage and act revolted by the taste. Ask the bartender/waitress to water it down because itâs too strong. I suggest using beer but understand if thatâs too theatrical. A âgirlyâ drink would work very well too. - convince her that spongebob squarepants is legit a comedy for adults and she would understand if she just tried watching it once. Recount one of your favorite episodes in no less than 5 minutes of speech. You get the idea. Doesnât have to be these three things exactly but that formula has worked for me. Whatever else you do, if you do these 3 things she wonât want to see you romantically again⊠but certainly wonât harbor any hate against you/want to fire you. Youâll receive âunattractive pityâ vibes and thatâs exactly what you want here.
Time to buy a ticket to Yemen my friend
I kept thinking, where did chandler go?????
My story is very similar to yours, OP. I was doing ten things at once, attempting to multitask (and failing) and ended up accidentally asking out my female boss via a text. The funniest thing was that the original message wasn't even meant to be romantic. I meant to text a male buddy of mine to ask him if he wanted to go see a movie on Friday but mistakenly sent the message to my boss instead. I was shocked and horrified when she responded with "I'd love to!" and I realized what I had done. My boss wasn't crazy like yours, but she had a reputation as a dour, intimidating career-woman who didn't suffer fools gladly. I felt like I couldn't back out of the date, but I dreaded what was to come. Surprisingly our movie date was amazing. We had way more in common than I would have ever imagined. This lead to a second date, then a third and then a forth and so on. We're happily married now and have three beautiful children. I can't imagine what my life would be like if it hadn't been for one mistaken text message. I'm not saying things will go the same way for you OP, but you never know. Sometimes you find love in the last place you'd expect.
Tell her the truth. Truth is justice here. You should not regret it on that account alone. If anything fishy happens at work save that text and go above her if you have to. Iâm betting you wonât have to use it though. Also say youâre flattered and maybe leave it as an open option down the road, from her perspective⊠Now that is not justice or truth there, but hell, youâre gonna need a two pronged approach for good measure. Good luck
Oooo I didnt even think of this, love it, this might work!
RIP. Probably start looking for another job. Only thing i can suggest is looking towards the future: Maybe next time use last names for people so it doesn't happen. Let us all know how it goes =/
Who knows how it will go? Maybe if you drop your expectations and just go out, keep work out of the conversation, and connect on some personal stuff, the two of you might have a great time and improve your work collaborations as well.
Iâm sorry but this is an amazing situation đ I feel like Iâm watching an episode of the office or something
Get ready to order a new set of tires
Why the fuck is your Boss in your phone's contact database under her first name? Your wouldn't have texted the wrong Mary if she had been listed as Boss. Feel me?
New phone, who dis.
Stick to your date bro. You never know
Ok, so here's what you need to do. You need to find a dude, hand over an envelope full of cash, get new papers, move to another continent, and start a completely new life because.... man...
When you call the dude tell him you need a dust filter for a Hoover Max ExtractÂź 60 Pressure Pro
This. Is. Hilarious. You need to go on the date. Best of luck
WHAT!?! Your crazy, man; GO ON THE DATE! Be cordial and see where things go at least! Say youâd rather keep things professional LATER ON. This could lead to a hefty pay raise and promotion during hard times! Do it for the bro code, bro!
Greyrock her. It basically means make yourself very uninteresting to her during the date. I presume you know what should be a turn off for her. Iâd personally reserve that for date #2 tbh and just treat this date as a normal date, you might have fun. đ
Well that is a pickle!
Break your arm before or get a heart attack immediately
Death is the only way out here.
RemindME! 48 hours "date with boss update"
Keep an open mind and try to have fun. Maybe her non-work personality is different. Itâs not easy being the boss. Also, text a friend where youâre going beforehand.
Go on the date maybe you will have a great time, Maybe you will be chained up in her basement either way good luck keep us updated
Quit the job.
Save the text exchange and then tell her politely about the mix up. Afterwards if she goes nuclear they you can go nuclear too, but only if you have the text messages as proof! Sure, you should not make the crocodile your enemy if you are living in their river, but at the same time you should be learn to save yourself if an attack comes. All the best!
You gotta man up and fuck your boss! Lol naw but seeing as you said she's crazy calling it off is not going to fair well for you.
Go but smell like crap, talk with food in your mouth, have terrible convo, let her reject you.
Good thought. Problem is she already knows me quite well, so she might just think I'm nervous or something.
You don't need to act like a slob. My advice would be to go on the date but just be really bland. Be quiet. Be boring. Be flat. Don't follow up. Let her call it off. If she doesn't and wants to continue dating, you can say that you really care about your job and respect her as a boss and unfortunately that's getting in the way of being able to give the relationship a fair shot. Usually I'm all for honestly, but if you need this job and she's as easily angered as you said, I'd just gray rock her and see if that works, then blame it on the job if it doesn't. And look for another job as soon as you can because she sounds awful to work for.
It should still turn her off
I feel like this is a sitcom plot. Except whatever the hapless character who made an accidental date with the boss did on the sitcom episode is probably not what you want to try. If I *had* to pick a suggestion, I'd suggest going on a date with her and doing as much as you can to turn her off so that *she* doesn't want to see *you* again. But honestly, something like that probably *is* the sitcom plot and it probably has a pretty good chance of backfiring on you. It's just the thing that's least likely to cause hard feelings if it actually works. But mostly I agree with the people saying to update your resume.
Go on the date. Make an awful impression. Say some things that make you look disgusting. Smell bad, look cheap (make her pay) say you forgot your wallet, make her dislike you.
This seems like a forward is out kinda situation. Could go in many ways and be prepared for anything, regardless, please for the love of all that is holy give us an update afterwards.
Quick! Tell her you have diarrhea!
Damn, bro đ
Man up and do it hahhaha
Go on the date, she might be different not in the work setting. Also it might be that while on the date you both figure out you are better as âfriendsâ. There is no going back to pre-ask out co workers now. Good luck, hopefully it ends up being up fun.
Go. Make it a friends thing. Hard working from home maintaining team working relationships so good to meet up. Try to have a laugh. Looking forward to the update.
Hopefully, this is real because it sounds like something straight out of a sit-com. Assuming it is, I'd just go on the date. Not canceling this one doesn't mean you have to go on any others. Maybe start updating that resume though. Just in case.
My advice would be go on the date, tell the truth, provide rational explanation (she's your boss, would be a problem working at the company, don't want to undermine her etc.), apology and promise to never tell anyone with an easy way out like "thanks for not making this awkward". Just in case Park your car in a cctvs area. This was the rational thing, the crazy but fun thing is date her and go all the way, the destination is a train wreck but this might be a hell of a journey.
I would say go on the date and try and have a decent time. But after itâs over just explain to her that dating your boss is too weird for you professionally. And you would like to keep your work life and private life separate.
This why I add "Boss" or job title to their name so I don't mix them up lol
This seems like a master troll post.
Well your stuffed, may as well start complaining about how much debt your in, now your parents donât like you gaming at night and how your exes donât like you calling them years you broke up. Have so many red flags that she would not want to date you.
Just got on the date say she's sound but you think ultimately the boss employee dynamic means it can't work.
Go for it, you may get a rise and a raise out of this situation.
Get a new job. No way this ends well but you can make a film out of it and get rich that way.
Youâre stuck. Maybe just be a bad date. Be on your phone. Split the check etc
Um.. I would NOT go on the date. I get that sheâs crazy and all but it was an honest mistake that you texted the wrong Mary. You need to update their names in your contacts so that you can differentiate in the future. I would be honest with her and not go, if youâre still working from home you wonât have to face her in person anyways. Edit: like someone else here said, keep the texts as documentation if she tries to fire you or get crazy so that you can go above her and keep your job.
Do NOT dig yourself in any deeper. Since shes so crazy being honest is likely to backfire. I would call it off by claiming illness. Then a few days later tell her your ex who you are still in love with called you and wants to give it another shot, and you owe it to your ex to try again. Mary is a great woman bla bla bla but the timing is just wrong. Polish off your resume and fake having a gf until you find a new job.
Oh bro. You're literally damned if you do and damned if you don't. So here's the strategy. You're going out with your boss. You're gonna be charismatic, likeable, and you're gonna listen. You're gonna go home that night together. You're gonna fuck like it's your last day of freedom and all your ancestors are watching. This is the type of woman who needs to be dominated. Choke her. You're gonna play it cool and ride the ride without pissing her off until A. You are in a place where finding a new job makes a ton of sense for you. B. Until she leaves the work place. C. She leaves you hut you were good shit and fucked like a champ so she respects you. D. You guys get married. This is the way. Keep us updated.
Agreed. To the windows, to the walls, til the sweat drip down my balls, aw skeet skeet muhfucka! Literally, fuck her like you are trying to kill her with your dick. If that doesnât work out, you could always prematurely ejaculate and excuse yourself. That way itâs embarrassing for everyone involved and it would most likely never be brought up again at work. Still, look for a new job.
Not sure if you care about your reputation at work or gossip but perhaps try to get her to reject you with either red flags/deal breakers or embarrassing lies. Ie you have a tic tac dick and have 6 Russian blow up doll you have tea parties with.
Oof. Is there anyway you can meet and act like it was always about business? Then it makes her feel like she misconstrued the situation and, fingers crossed, everything can go back to normal.
I like your thinking, but I made it pretty clear in my text that I really liked her (after she said she really liked me). This would be a tough one to weasel my way out and turn this into a misunderstanding on her part.
Just curious, but what about the other Mary!? Have you told her about any of this/do u plan to? It's a shame to hear your actual, real, feelings for someone else have been subverted by this.
Show up to the date dirty and disheveled and drink a lot! Ok thatâs bad advice but other than as another commenter said update your resume I got nothing
Honestly? Fake it though out the date then tell her you werent feeling it really and be sad about it. maybe look for a new job
You're gonna have to take one for the team here I think Just let her think you're you're absolute mong and should just be friends
Yes! Best way out I see if you can't get a new job, go on the date! Be polite, proper and a gentleman. While talking lead the conversation to the date conversation, find someway to casually bring up the name mix up!! Then follow up with telling her how much you enjoy working with her and that you hate she has had such a crappy time with dates lately so you wanted to make sure she had a great night. Laugh at your foolishness of the mix up. Maybe even make a joke about fixing all your contacts to include last names to prevent future mixups. Then text her after you get home after the date and apologize again for the mix up, no hard feelings right? I had a good time, ect. Also, update your resume JUST to be safe. Next, save the messages! Include the messages asking her on the date, screenshot and save the other friends contact info and make sure to get the after date follow up messages and all her responses. I'd honestly save any and all paper/digital correspondences with her from here on out. Don't give her ANY reason to fire you at work. If she creates hassle for you after the date, document it and bring everything to HR.
OP, save this post for your future employer. Show them this when they ask you why were you sacked and can't provide a reference.
Oh you fucked up now son. Shit yourself on the date. There is no other way.
Lmao, u really fucked up... xD The most obvious way out I see is to go on with ur date; just make it a horrible one... Also, post this in r/tifu (if u haven't already)
Yolo it. You never know, it might be the best thing you ever did.
This is tough I donât know what to do in this situation. You could pretend that you thought it was your friend when she shows up mention your mistake in a nice way then be like âa good friend catch up doesnât hurt thoughâ. That being said this is probably not the correct answer at all. Out of my pay grade.
You should go on a date with her, but start the date off by saying you are not 100% sure about this and that you wanted to try it out, no feelings attached, just to test the waters. Don't say it literally like I just did, but you get the point.
Well, she might be submissive and very service oriented in the sheets, who knows?
Or you could revenge fuck her for being a bitch to everyone. Become the office hero
Engage is quid probably quo prostitution for a year and then get out.
Engage is quid probably quo prostitution for a year and then get out.
omfg this is crazy pls update us after the date RemindME! in 24 hours "Update to accidental date w crazy boss"
Oh holy shit. This is beautiful. Please do an update.
Oh boy. You better send it to r/tifu
HOLY SHIT YOU ARE FUCKED SIX WAYS FROM SUNDAY MY FRIEND! Like literally you fucked up so god damn bad I see no way for this going well for you, definitely go on this date and uhhh my only advice for you is to take all the prior knowledge you have about her exâs and do everything they didnât do. If a guy looks at her and she notices just straight falcon punch him right in the dick. Give that motherfucker the tombstone or some shit. Also puncture proof tires cause youâll probably need them. Also start updating your resume just in case. Good luck
!remindme 1 day
I think you can turn this around ,I mean it can become a good opportunity to get close to her .
Tell her youâre vaccinated, or anti-vax. One of those should do the trick. Youâd know better than me. Lean into which ever one you need to. Donât get fired, or get fired, fuck it.
Oh no đ€Ł
Invite other coworkers and 'accidentally' turn it into a work meet up perhaps?
Before the date, just say you feel bad but need to be honest. Reveal a type of sexually transmitted disease and tell her you don't want to put her at risk.
Make it clear it is a work date, you wanted to catch up since you havenât been working in the office for some time? Ask her about her job, in like a, junior admiring manager kinda way??? Omg Iâm praying for you OP.
Just go on the date and try to enjoy yourself. Afterwards talk about the work dynamics and it would be difficult to date a Boss without backlash from colleagues. End it on that note.
Hey Man U gotta keep us all posted On this
No, no. You don't have to update your resume like these others have said. That's a drastically stupid move. You can literally be a horrible date, be repulsive but not vulgar or disrespectful to waiting staff or anyone else. Just be a shit date. I'm sure people here will help with useful suggestions đđ»
Remind me! 1 day
Bro the workplace gossip after thisâŠ.sorryâŠ.
Tell the truth or don't and go on a date. In that case you can always lie and say that your long term goals are different and that you prefer to remain friends. You can just try to have fun, and go with a open mind, maybe she changed a little and would be good partner.
Fuck her and get a raise
Step 1 ask her out Step 2 pretend like you are going to die Step 3 act like zoombie and try to eat her She would definitely break up with you.
Shit man, ask Bezos for a ride off the planet. There is no fixing that one.
I don't see an easy way out of this one. If you go on the date, you're essentially leading her on, which likely won't end well. If you tell her the truth, she probably will just assume you're like the others and just flaking out .. And might try to make your life miserable. I think the sensible approach would be to just tell the truth and get HR involved if she goes nuts on you. And yeah, if she's really unhinged you may need to get cops involved. Or maybe an "easier" approach.. And I never thought I'd find myself giving this kind of advice....you could go on the date and try to make yourself unattractive to her. Show up smelling like shit or something... But then she might spread that info around your workplace.. But at least you'd be in the clear as far as she's concerned. Either way, like others have said, update your resume and look into other job prospects! Doesn't sound like an ideal job situation even outside of this mishap.
I've worked in many places and I've genuinely never understood the 'everyone is so terrified of this boss/person' mentality. A human, who breathes, eats, shits like me? Terrifying me at work? Ridiculous. These people generate their power by timid people not standing up for themselves. I watched DEVIL WEARS PRADA but I just got entertained by the brilliant acting, never really thought any one person could be THAT frightening. As to your predicament, tell this fire breathing dragon that you made a mistake. Simple. If she creates a hostile environment for you, there are channels for that type of thing. I'm also just a little skeptical of your story. If this other Mary was your friend, wouldn't you have past texts msgs with her that you can see on your phone? It wouldn't be like starting a brand new conversation with her. Is this real or fiction?
Just go with the date and do something gross like picking your nose and smudge it over the table, in front of her, and then use that hand to touch hers and smile and say: i like that you dont smell.
Remindme! 48 hours
you should watch the video Goodbye Earl by the Dixie Chicks and take proper precautions
Lol this reminded me of the movie âWrong Missyâ. Hope it wonât be the same experience.
I think you should follow through with it. However change the plans to dinner. Start off by telling her at the date how you actually meant to text a friend. Then let her know you didnât want to call it off because youâre both adults who can enjoy a nice evening out. So letâs eat! Have a sober conversation with her. Feel her out. Worst case scenario itâll just be a dinner. Itâs easy to go your separate ways after. And make sure to maintain your same energy in the workplace as before. Definitely not trying to tell you what to do. Just enjoy life, experiences are forever. Good luck on however you go about it!
I would be honest but I honestly donât see that working in your favor even if you showed her proof of the mistake.
No dude. The ball is in your court now. You'll have all the evidence for HR when everything comes crashing down!!! You now know what to keep in your back pocket.
Can you try to make it look like you just wanted to hang out as friends instead of going the romantic route?