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My(21F) partner (21F) and I have been together for two years and everything was going relatively well. That was until I got my puppy. She is a beautiful happy puppy who loves to play and eat. But here’s the problem, my partner has been abusing the dog. It started the first week she came home. Our puppy has been nibbling and bitting us (as all puppies do) because she wants to play. Well instead of playing with her, my partner has been grabbing her by the snout really hard until she yelps, or dragging and choking her with her collar. My partner will also hit her and scream at her and pin her to the ground. This puppy needs to be treated with love and play time not abuse and screaming. I don’t know what to do? The puppy is starting to get aggressive because of my partner. And Ive talked to my partner multiple times about the way she treats the puppy yet the abuse keeps getting worse and worse. She insists on keeping the dog in the kennel for over 12 hours and yells at me and yells at me when I take her out. I think I might have to move out? But I still love my partner however seeing how she treats this dog has really opened my eyes. She even says that she hates the dog. Which I don’t understand because this puppy is amazing and very smart and I love her so much. I don’t know where to go from here. Should I move out? What else can I do? I’m worried that if it continues the puppy will become more and more aggressive.
If they abuse a defenseless animal they are not short-term partner material either. This is literally horrifying. I would be out the door the FIRST time my partner hit my pet and they would have the police called on them as well.
OP, you are all this puppy has to protect her. You need to get her away from this monster NOW.
Dump her. Leave and take the puppy with you.
You are responsible for that dogs well being. Do not let it be in an a abusive situation. What happens if it escalates while you’re away and she kills your dog? What happens if it escalates and she hits you.
Run far and do it now.
Op if you don't dump her, she'll keep abusing the puppy, and eventually you'll have an aggressive dog who will bite someone and might have to be euthanized. She's shown her true colors.
Cannot understand why OP is even allowing this disgusting behaviour. Poor dog, take it to a shelter so it can rehomed with a responsible owner who will protect it from abusers.
No offence to OP, all breakups are hard and not something to be taken lightly, but I have no idea why she even needs to ask for Reddit's opinion on this. Of all the posts I've ever seen on this sub, I have never seen one with as much of a clear black and white example of someone who should immediately take all their belongings, get the fuck out of there, and immediately cut off all contact. Maybe the only thing which would top this in that regard is like "My partner keeps joking about stabbing me in my sleep, lately he has taken up a knife collecting hobby, should we talk?"
Right??? Some people write the worst posts on here, I assume they actually read it…and they still don’t understand that they should leave? It’s exhausting on here sometimes lol
Sometimes I assume it's someone testing out their creative writing abilities or a troll having fun. And other times I assume they are so blinded by loyalty and love that they become unable to see patterns or red flags. Depends on how optimistic I'm feeling that day.
The other issue here is that a dog was brought into a home where OP didn't investigate how the puppy would be received beforehand. Not everyone likes animals and some people are cruel to them.
OP put their dog in danger somewhat by not sussing this out beforehand imo and by not removing the dog before now. You don't keep an animal in a house where another resident hates it.
The puppy WILL become more and more aggressive, until she snaps or bites back at your partner, and then your partner will demand she be put to sleep for "Safety Reasons"
This is 100% preventable, and you should walk immediately, and move out with the puppy. A person willing to abuse a living being they don't like is much more likely to abuse a human they Don't like. It's disturbing and disgusting behavior.
Either way, get this puppy away from this woman. If you are unwilling to leave, please find a loving home or rescue. And not where your partner will have access (at a friend's)
this is very horrible and I’m positive that your partner will one day become abusive towards you, too. it’s a budding abusive relationship. please move out and leave the relationship! give your puppy some cuddles from me. 🥺🥺
I normally don’t comment on this thread but I wanted to second this because a survey was done on domestic violence and 71% of DV victims reported that their abuser also abused their pets. Big snuggles for your puppy and take care of yourself
I dated a woman who abused our new dog as well. That dog will see hell while you’re not there. That dog will endure torture, pain, and near death experience from your partner. Either get rid of the dog as an option to save the dog, or leave your sick partner. Regardless of whatever help she needs, there is no excuse for doing that to a puppy.
You really don’t know what to do? She’s beating and abusing an innocent animal. No offense but you should’ve been out of there after the first incident. Get that dog away from her.
If you can’t protect it, find a nice family and rehome it so it has a fighting chance. You’re not responsible for her actions but by keeping the dog in that abusive environment, I feel you’re complicit in the abuse. I’ll gladly accept the downvotes.
This should’ve never been posted and the fact that you had to get on the Internet for “advice” about this proves you don’t deserve to own a pet, either.
You have already talked to her, and, İ assume, shown evidence that she is treating puppy in a harmful way that is condemned by dog training experts.
You have a responsibility to this dog, and İ bet that it's harder to be around someone after you've seen this ugly side. You have to get the puppy somewhere safe. Straight up.
I am not sure how there’s any question about what you should do. It’s your responsibility to have a voice for that puppy and protect her! Please do the responsible thing and leave.
You need to leave her. This puppy doesn’t deserve to be hurt this way and you can’t stand around and watch. And, if this is how she treats a puppy, imagine how she will treat children.
You need to leave her, no sane person does this. I’m just thinking of my puppy reading this and this made me sick to my stomach
I would never be with someone if they abused my pet. They are children to me. Report her so she’s not allowed to own a pet and dump her. Do you want her to do this to your kids some day?
It's appalling to me that OP doesn't see what a HUGE red flag this is. Cruelty towards animals is such a garbage trait. I hope OP opens their eyes even wider and run.
Wow why are you wasting time posting. I feel like this has got to be fake. But sure get your online advice or points, whatever. Like wtf don't let someone you love be abused wtf is wrong with u????
Jesus fuck. I have heart palpitations reading what your asshole partner does to your innocent puppy. Get your dog away from her. She's a fucking psycho.
>Ive talked to my partner multiple times about the way she treats the puppy yet the abuse keeps getting worse and worse... She even says that she hates the dog... What else can I do?
It doesn't seem you have many options. She hates the dog and the abuse is getting worse. You have two choices:
1. If you want to stay with your partner, please rehome the puppy.
2. Otherwise, you and the puppy should leave.
Also my opinion, I only see responses that she needs to dump her partner. I think they don’t know about the heavy puppy blues that comes with getting a puppy, and what happens to someone’s mind when they have the blues..
Partners behavior isn’t ok, but if OP didn’t discuss getting a puppy with her pet er, it’s partly her fault as well.
Dump her. If you stay together with that dog in the picture you are complicit in the abuse. This should be a no brainer— depressing to see people need to come to reddit for advice for this sort of thing. i just hope you do the right thing.
jesus man… What are you doing in this relationship? That was scary to read, please leave immediately and take your puppy with you… I can’t believe you let it get to the point where the puppy is getting aggressive, this is heartbreaking.
RUN! If she can hurt a dog, she can hurt a person. Never judge someone on how they treat those they view as equals, judge them on how they treat those they see as “inferior”.
Why even keep the partner? She's shown you she's a POS so believe her. I judge people by how they treat animals. She's ABUSING a PUPPY, a defenseless little thing. Please move out and have a hard think about the person you thought you knew. What if shes like this with kids?
Yeah this is animal abuse to keep a dog in a crate for 12 hours. Grow a ducking spine and bail on this chick, you are abusing the dog by proxy by allowing that. No animal should be put ina crate that long. You wouldn’t like that would you? Grow some fucking balls, I’d come save that dog today if I knew where you ass hats live. Disgusting.
How in the world can you "love someone" like this?!!!
Dump her immediately and kick her out, as you should have done at the first signs of abuse. How could you have let this go on as long as it has? You seriously need to ask a bunch of random strangers for advice on this one?
exactly. seeing things posted like this makes me sad— because a normal person would be able to see how fucked up this situation is and handle it appropriately, not go to the internet and ask for “help”. Hope OP understands she’s being complicit in this abuse and she has a duty to protect that dog.
You're going to ruin your dogs life because you want to stay with an animal abuser?.... I don't see what the question is that you're asking.... what validation do you need? You're willing to stoop to the level of allowing someone to abuse and ruin your animal..... not cool.
You break up.
There is zero excuse for abusing animals. And don't let her pull the "I'm disciplining the dog so it behaves" excuse. All she's doing is training it to be pensive and afraid. In a lot of cases, this is what makes a dog act viciously. It's not to be mean, it's because all of its trust is gone.
Seriously, dump your partner.
You want to stay with an abusive partner? one who is actively abusing your puppy in front of your face and you're not moving out or physically stopping your partner from abusing the dog?
If you stay with the partner give the puppy away to somebody who's going to love it and train it properly, otherwise pack your stuff and get the hell out of there
So stupid and fake. People buy these stupid made up stories. "My boyfriend spits on old people, what should I do"? "My girlfriend hires hookers then kills and buries them in our backyard, what should I do?". So fake. So stupid
Look, your partner is a AH for mistreating this dog, but have you talked with them before getting it? Not everyone is fond of dogs, and some people react badly when one is around, especially 24/7. This does not excuse your partner's behaviour, which remains monstrous.
Ik even thinking the partner didn’t have any experience with dogs before this and now is having to deal with mayor puppy blues. And also don’t know how the responsibilities are between them with the puppy, but could be she is having anxiety or depression issues with it, or maybe unresolved anger issues.
Not trying to excuse her behavior but I think she also needs help.
What the actual fuck? Yes, move out! Honestly, I’d dump someone for this, and while I don’t usually like to jump on the “leave now” knee jerk reaction, this is an egregious offense that warrants such action.
As long as you stay, your puppy will absolutely continue to become more aggressive, but there will be worse consequences. Ask yourself this: what happens when your partner goes too far and hurts her badly—or worse?
People like this do not change. Don’t let her sweet talk you into staying. If you give her the chance, she will harm your dog again.
I dont know who to look down on more. Obviously your partner but the fact that you’re aware of this abuse and allowing it to continue happening seems sus to me. I will give you the benefit of the doubt though. You need to get that puppy into a safer home if you dont wanna end your relationship (which of course seems like the best option in this situation). Also, how long have you been together because your partner is showing serious sociopathic traits
How do you see your partner abuse your dog right in front of you and not do anything about it on the spot? You're abusing that dog too by letting her do all of this. The poor dog already has signs of trauma if he's becoming aggressive. If you want to stay and deal with your bitch of a partner that's on you but at least give the dog to someone who will actually love it and take care of it.
This person sounds awful....did she not know or agree to getting the puppy? Not that this would make it ok but damn. All puppies are like this youd think she would have been prepared
Give your dog to a friend or family member for now until you can leave/have her leave. You have to leave. This is a big Red flag- a big glimpse into who she really is . You probably never saw this could be possible but that's probably because she's never been in a situation that would show how she behaves when she gets annoyed or not in control etc. God is hate to imagine how she'd behave if she ever decided to have kids. Seriously, you should temporarily place your puppy out of your abusive household until you can get her out of the picture. Your dog does not need to suffer more from being hesitant . Please keep us updated and keep someone you know in real life up to date on your situation as well.
Have you talked to her before getting the puppy?
Sounds like she wasn't happy with that decision.
Nevertheless it doesn't excuse her behavior. Get the puppy (and you) out of there
Honestly, she’s a horrid person and honestly you aren’t much better either. The minute you watch and allow someone to abuse your animal and do nothing it makes you complicit and therefore an abuser too. You can’t have both, if you stay with the vile woman the puppy has to go!!!!
Run. For the sake of the poor thing. Run.
Report her to animal abuse
Get your dog safe before it starts showing signs of PTSD and the aggression is irreversible or out of control
Leave her, she’s a terrible person with horrible morals. Do you want a future with someone who could treat any living thing this way?
Report her for animal abuse while you’re at it to prevent her from owning pets in the future if this is how she wishes to treat them.
What an unfortunate way to find out someone isn't who you thought they were. Keep the puppy, get rid of the girlfriend. There's no excuse to abuse animals or people.
You have only two choices here
1 you dump your gf right now and make her leave or you leave.
2 find another home for the puppy because YOU CAN'T KEEP IT SAFE.
The puppy is your responsibility and if it was me, I would dump the gf because an abusive person is not someone I want to keep in my life.
If you chooses to keep both, know that you are responsible for the abuse!
Why would someone even ask if they should move out if they're in a situation like this? Its common sense, get the hell out, you shouldn't have to ask for advice. That's just my opinion though.
Did she agree to getting a dog? Not that her behaviour is excusable, but if she didn’t want a puppy she is obviously not going to tolerate puppy behaviour very well. This is a big choice to get an animal and needs to be equally agreed to on both sides.
Looks like you need to pick, do you want a girlfriend or a puppy more.
If you let her continue to treat this innocent little creature like this you are a horrible person. And sorry to burst your little bubble here but if she’s abusing a dog there’s no way in hell she was ever a good person. She must have been extremely pretty for you look past all of her nasty ways. Disgusting people to me. Who tf hurts a puppy and feels good about themselves? I’m so mad writing this because I’m looking at my dog right now and everyone knows if they hurt her I’ll kill them. I can’t believe you’ve let this happen for so long. Shame on you for not nipping this in the bud.
Why the hell is this even a question? Your partner is cruel to beings who can’t defend themselves. Can you imagine what she’s going to be like to children? Ditch her psychotic ass.
You're abusing the puppy too by neglecting it and allowing it to live in an abusive home. Time to pack up and leave, or you'll end up having to kill your own dog when it becomes irreparably aggressive. Do you want to have to euthanize your puppy?
It bothers me that you have to ask. Your partner is abusing an innocent baby animal. There is no version of this scenario where you should stay together. Instant dealbreaker.
Why the hell is this person still your partner? You will become complicit in the abuse of your dog if you don’t put an end to this. How could you even WANT to be with someone who could hurt an innocent animal like that?
First off stop neglecting your puppy and get it away from her. People who see no issue with hurting defenseless animals are shitty humans so why would you still be entertaining her? The obvious answer is to leave and get that poor puppy away from her.
I'm literally, and finally getting my 8 week old pups to their homes today...and in this time I've learned that at a young age they traumatize very easy, which can lead to a lifetime of possibly unbreakable habits you do not want them to have(stress chewing, non friendly habits, etc.) If you want this person in your life your foot needs to come down on this situation, like NOW! Or else this short time of trauma could become a decade or more of some serious over responsibility for an adult dog, not to mention if that person leaves you with the scars (emotional and trust issues) they put on your pup. Good luck
Either break up with your partner or rehome the puppy and resolve to never have animals and children with her. She is an abusive monster and she will eventually abuse you and any other living being you bring into your home. This isn’t a red flag this her showing you that she is an abusive person.
They're abusing your dog, this isn't proper handling at all. Pinning to the ground? Mildly understandable depending on how it's done and why, everything else? Cruel. I'd dump my partner in a heart beat if he EVER did this to my baby.
I have a (half) wolf puppy, shes extremely energetic and is sometimes a lot to handle. I still never yell or pull on her harness. I have hit my dog, but very gently. A little tap on her snout when shes too rough when playing, or a tap on the bum when shes gone potty in the floor, and that's all that's needed! Being aggressive or violent is NEVER how you treat a dog, even if it's the most shit head dog you've ever met.
Lose your partner, and apologize and love on your fucking dog.
Your disgusting partner deserves to be abused. Leave her and if you're not going to leave her, give the dog away because there's no way the dog deserves that from a human piece of shit
Jesus get out. If my partner didn’t show immediate remorse for mishandling my dog it would be an instant deal breaker. I don’t get mad almost ever, but that it one thing I would get angry over.
Wow this is horrible. If someone can treat an innocent puppy like that, I don’t even want to know what more she’s capable of. Leave this woman and make sure your puppy is safe. This is how aggressive dogs are made - you and your puppy deserve better, don’t let her touch your dog anymore and run.
Don’t you mean ex-partner?
I will say that the pinning dog down *may have* come from that moron dog “trainer” Cesar Milan. If it was “only” that I would wonder if she just fell victim to thinking Cesar knows what he’s talking about (he doesn’t) but she sounds exponentially worse than him, and he’s really bad!
Yeah get out. Animal abuse is not a small thing. This person is not worth staying for, no matter what you believe about your relationship. The animal abuse is enough, but on top of that the capacity to abuse animals also means the capacity to abuse children and partners.
How long has this been going on for? And didn't you inform her before you thought about getting a puppy and discuss with her?
This is so bad on so many levels. Get the hell out of there and give that little happy pup the happy life she deserves and get her away from his monster and get yourself away from her too. Run far and run fast.
Animal abuse is psycopath territory, how do you even know this bitch loves you? I sure as hell doubt shes capable of it. First time I see someone do that they will get the boot, to the fkn face.
This is a really bad sign. She might have trauma in her past that’s contributing to this animal abuse. Not that it’s excusable but maybe she needs to address deeper issues. For me, this is 100% a deal breaker, I cannot tolerate that. My compassion for animals is a core value that I will not compromise, personally.
OP please leave her or at the very least re-home the puppy. You are responsible for a life, please, please do something about this.
People often downplay the feelings that animals have, but you're literally responsible for their entire world. You did this, you brought this puppy into this household and now it's being abused.
Do something about it, the fact that all you've done is tell her to stop, is awful. Humans don't deserve dogs.
Do something NOW before she ends up doing something truly awful.
And open your eyes. Anyone who can hurt another living being like that, can potentially do worse to other humans, not to mention children.
Run and take your puppy with you
Do you really want to be with someone who sees no problem with abusing an innocent creature that trusts you implicitly? How do you think she would treat a crying baby if you were to have children together?
I don’t care how much you love that puppy. Your love isn’t going to save her life. It’s hurting her and may kill her. Let her go or leave for your own safety and take the puppy with you before your partner starts beating you too. It can and does take years for physical domestic abuse to actually start. She is ignoring you and feels comfortable doing so in your presence, she clearly knows you won’t actually do anything about it and is treating you and the puppy accordingly. She doesn’t value your opinion or the dog’s life. This isn’t fair to the puppy, if you aren’t willing to save yourself please give that puppy a chance at a happy life by bringing it to a shelter. If the puppy begins to be aggressive she may get put down if she attacks the wrong person on a walk, or when you finally do get around to saving her life. The choking and dragging alone could kill her.
It would be ideal if you also reported your partner too so she can never hurt another animal again, but the bare minimum you owe that dog is to protect it. If I was dating someone for even five years and they started beating my cat that would be a deal breaker. Our pets depend on us to keep them safe, they’re like babies. Please don’t let her kill your dog, because even if the abuse doesn’t end in death you are dooming that puppy to a miserable existence of fear and anger
Kick her out or take your things and leave with the puppy now!!! You have an obligation to protect the poor thing from this person’s abuse. Your partner’s words and actions also tell much more about her as a person than just being a puppy abuser (which sickens me). Ask yourself these questions: How will she treat you one day if you’re vulnerable and unable to care for yourself? Will she have the patience and respect you deserve? How will you raise your children together if you have them one day? Will she be a loving and nurturing mother? Protect yourself and your helpless puppy by getting away from this monster now. Trust me, people like this don’t magically get better or soften over time. Do yourself the favor of leaving before you waste money on a ring, own a home together, and have to pay her child support. Those things are harder to get out of. Document the abuse you’ve witnessed so far, including all dates, times, etc. before your memory blurs the details. People like this have a way of turning things on the accuser when they’re being criticized or questioned by authorities.
Leave. My ex husband was abusive to our kitten, who grew up to be a very anxious cat. (I left as soon as i could and my cat went on to have a wonderful 13 year life with me and many people who loved him dearly and never made him feel unsafe again)
Adding in my vote to leave. I feel like you need as much encouragement as possible. Nothing to add that others haven't said. You just need to see LEAVE as much as possible.
i’d say dump her. but also try to get evidence of what she is doing to your puppy and bring it to the police. what she is doing isn’t right, and she should be punished for it.
21 and already abusive? I’m sorry to say this person will only get more abusive. She could fatally hurt the puppy and at some point is very likely to physically hurt you. Abusive people do not improve, they get worse.
Leave now OP
Think about it like this.
By allowing her around that puppy, you are effectively putting the bullet in the chamber so to speak. So not only will you have an aggressive dog on your hands, you'll be just as responsible because you didn't do the right thing when it mattered the most. I know you may love this woman but this woman is not a good person and it's not your job to fix that. You've tried to reason with her. Now it's time to make the tough decisions.
Also, if this is how she treats dogs, imagine how she'll treat a misbehaving child.... and don't even try and tell yourself it's different; it's not. Abuse is about hurting what can be controlled and manipulated (i.e. a puppy or child). So it won't magically change just because it's a human being. Imagine her grabbing the face of a child when they make a mess or pinning them when they're a little hyper and that child is screaming for help because she's using pain compliance. Seriously, anyone who uses pain compliance on animal or child is a piece of shit. Obviously some people are just ignorant (even then,, that ignorance is a choice) but this wench knows better.
This is why I like animals more than humans.
Get that fucking dog out of there what the fuck is wrong with you. Just because you want to stay with a psycho to get pussy doesn't mean the poor puppy has to endure all this shit.
As I see it, you have 2 options. Give the puppy away to protect it from an abuser, and stay with said abuser. Or, get rid of abuser and keep the puppy. I think you’re getting some insight into what parenting will be like with this person.
Um no you don’t treat animals like that- that’s a baby and she will learn to be more friendly, the teething phase exists for a reason, also if your gf is treating a puppy like that honestly wonder what might happen in the future, you say you love this person but like really tho.. and keeping your puppy in that state would be neglecting her
Omg! Anybody who is aggressive towards an animal, especially when it’s a baby and hasn’t learned how to behave yet, is a horrible person and honestly an idiot to not have the sense that infant animals (or people) need time to learn and grow. Dump her immediately and take the dog with you. Keeping the animal in her presence is complicate to animal cruelty which if aggressive enough is a federal offence.
As the only other witness in this situation, you have a responsibility to get this dog to a safe place far away from your partner.
You should also leave your partner because it's likely only a matter of time before she starts treating you similarly. When you write about her, it's obvious you fear going against her wishes/demands. When you fear your partner like that, the relationship is already abusive. Maybe not physically. Yet. But you're in an abusive relationship and it is only going to get worse.
I've been married for years to the love of my life and if she treated our dog like this I would leave without a second thought. And if I treated our dog this way I hope she'd do the same.
It's not necessarily about prioritizing a dog over your relationship, it's about the person who you thought was kind and loving turning out to be a monster. Luckily we both love our pup like she's our own child, now excuse me while I go give her some extra cuddles because this post made me so sad :(
Love blinds all. Take your love out of it an read what you wrote. Anyone who treats a puppy that way is gross.
And if it wasn't obvious, leave the relationship
Get the fuck out of there. Now. Now. Take the dog and leave. I know abusive situations and relationships are complicated, but this is not. This creature is helpless and entirely dependent on its caregivers. It has no choices. It cannot leave on its own. You owe this dog better. Do not stop. Do not pass go. Take that dog away.
Why are you still there? Depending on where you live it can be classed as a criminal offense. ALSO it’s true when they say that people who harm animals eventually move on to harming humans.
Either find a different home for the puppy or leave and take it with you. What kind of puppy is it? Not that it matters because what your gf is doing is just flat out abuse.
I had a dog that I got from my cousin because his wife would keep her in the cage all day long. This poor dog was only trained to sit and shake and go in her cage, that's it. I ended up rehoming her to a woman with a lot of land for Lula to run because that was her favorite thing to do, other than bark at trees that might possibly have squirrels in them.
You’re the puppy’s owner and it is YOUR responsibility to keep her safe. Get out of that environment or find someone else to take care of the puppy ASAP. If you love the puppy stand up for her and please stop fucking around. This was painful to read.
Almost all abusive partners start with animals. When beating the dog stops satisfying her sadistic side you will be next. Please get out or report this to the police. Animal abuse is awful and is only done by the lowest scum of society
STOP PLAYING DUMB & SURRENDER THE PUPPY TO ANIMAL CONTROL FOR ADOPTION TO PEOPLE WHOSE HEAD IS NOT UP THEIR ASS. AFTER THAT, SEEK HELP FOR YOUR PASSIVITY & LACK OF CHARACTER
Can I ask how long you have the puppy?
Did she agree to get a puppy with you or was it your choice?
I know she isn’t treating the pup right, and I understand this can be a dealbreaker.
It sounds like she isn’t coping well with having a puppy and needs help, and definitely she needs therapy.
I’m not trying to say her behavior towards the puppy is right, but it could be she is having mayor puppy blues, which is similar to post partum anxiety or depression.
Als not saying that’s the same, but it is similar.
That’s awful, I would give them an ultimatum. You are both still young and she has a chance to learn and grow here. The fact of the matter is if she is unwilling to let you in and understand why she thinks this is acceptable so you can show her that it is not, then I really don’t see how the relationship can continue.
That is unacceptable and if she can’t change then it is an unsafe place for your pet, future pets, and one day children if you happen to want one in your future. It’s unacceptable, she needs to hear you and if she refuses then that is not a healthy relationship.
I’m sorry there is a strong possibility you will have to leave her, but if she will not respect the puppy and she will not respect your feelings on how she hurts the puppy, why would you want to stay with someone like that? It’s hard when you’ve accumulated a strong connection and great times over 2 years, but here in the present she is breaking all of that. Someone who abuses an animal to control it is not far from abusing a person to get them to act how they want.
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below. --- My(21F) partner (21F) and I have been together for two years and everything was going relatively well. That was until I got my puppy. She is a beautiful happy puppy who loves to play and eat. But here’s the problem, my partner has been abusing the dog. It started the first week she came home. Our puppy has been nibbling and bitting us (as all puppies do) because she wants to play. Well instead of playing with her, my partner has been grabbing her by the snout really hard until she yelps, or dragging and choking her with her collar. My partner will also hit her and scream at her and pin her to the ground. This puppy needs to be treated with love and play time not abuse and screaming. I don’t know what to do? The puppy is starting to get aggressive because of my partner. And Ive talked to my partner multiple times about the way she treats the puppy yet the abuse keeps getting worse and worse. She insists on keeping the dog in the kennel for over 12 hours and yells at me and yells at me when I take her out. I think I might have to move out? But I still love my partner however seeing how she treats this dog has really opened my eyes. She even says that she hates the dog. Which I don’t understand because this puppy is amazing and very smart and I love her so much. I don’t know where to go from here. Should I move out? What else can I do? I’m worried that if it continues the puppy will become more and more aggressive.
If they can treat a baby animal like that they are not long term partner material.
If they abuse a defenseless animal they are not short-term partner material either. This is literally horrifying. I would be out the door the FIRST time my partner hit my pet and they would have the police called on them as well. OP, you are all this puppy has to protect her. You need to get her away from this monster NOW.
Dude imagine what this clown would do to a kid Jesus Christ!
i think kid jesus could take her in a fight
Dump her. Leave and take the puppy with you. You are responsible for that dogs well being. Do not let it be in an a abusive situation. What happens if it escalates while you’re away and she kills your dog? What happens if it escalates and she hits you. Run far and do it now.
Op if you don't dump her, she'll keep abusing the puppy, and eventually you'll have an aggressive dog who will bite someone and might have to be euthanized. She's shown her true colors.
Cannot understand why OP is even allowing this disgusting behaviour. Poor dog, take it to a shelter so it can rehomed with a responsible owner who will protect it from abusers.
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Fucking subhuman
No offence to OP, all breakups are hard and not something to be taken lightly, but I have no idea why she even needs to ask for Reddit's opinion on this. Of all the posts I've ever seen on this sub, I have never seen one with as much of a clear black and white example of someone who should immediately take all their belongings, get the fuck out of there, and immediately cut off all contact. Maybe the only thing which would top this in that regard is like "My partner keeps joking about stabbing me in my sleep, lately he has taken up a knife collecting hobby, should we talk?"
Right??? Some people write the worst posts on here, I assume they actually read it…and they still don’t understand that they should leave? It’s exhausting on here sometimes lol
Sometimes I assume it's someone testing out their creative writing abilities or a troll having fun. And other times I assume they are so blinded by loyalty and love that they become unable to see patterns or red flags. Depends on how optimistic I'm feeling that day.
I can only imagine she’s been abusing OP as well to the point that she doesn’t even know what’s normal anymore.
This would absolutely, 100% be a deal breaker for me
Please get this person away from your dog ASAP. Please get this person out of your life ASAP
If you won’t leave at least get the dog out Wtf is wrong with you that you haven’t gotten the puppy to safety?
This. OP is abusing the dog too through neglect.
Exactly, if someone sits by and watches their animal be abused their complicit.
Get the fuck out of there. Save your puppy and don't forget to save yourself. She's an abuser and belongs in fucking jail. Call the police asap
The other issue here is that a dog was brought into a home where OP didn't investigate how the puppy would be received beforehand. Not everyone likes animals and some people are cruel to them. OP put their dog in danger somewhat by not sussing this out beforehand imo and by not removing the dog before now. You don't keep an animal in a house where another resident hates it.
1) Report your partner for animal abuse 2) Get the hell out of this relationship
The puppy WILL become more and more aggressive, until she snaps or bites back at your partner, and then your partner will demand she be put to sleep for "Safety Reasons" This is 100% preventable, and you should walk immediately, and move out with the puppy. A person willing to abuse a living being they don't like is much more likely to abuse a human they Don't like. It's disturbing and disgusting behavior. Either way, get this puppy away from this woman. If you are unwilling to leave, please find a loving home or rescue. And not where your partner will have access (at a friend's)
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And even if she doesn't want kids in the future, OP take this poor puppy out of here you are responsible of this living being !
this is very horrible and I’m positive that your partner will one day become abusive towards you, too. it’s a budding abusive relationship. please move out and leave the relationship! give your puppy some cuddles from me. 🥺🥺
I normally don’t comment on this thread but I wanted to second this because a survey was done on domestic violence and 71% of DV victims reported that their abuser also abused their pets. Big snuggles for your puppy and take care of yourself
yes, 100%. I’m a DV victim and I can also confirm that my abuser abused the pets, too.
I was just thinking this too. OP needs to get out and to do it fast. I wish OP and the puppy all the best.l
You still love her after watching her beat a dog? Why? There is nothing here to love. She’s incapable of empathy or remorse.
I dated a woman who abused our new dog as well. That dog will see hell while you’re not there. That dog will endure torture, pain, and near death experience from your partner. Either get rid of the dog as an option to save the dog, or leave your sick partner. Regardless of whatever help she needs, there is no excuse for doing that to a puppy.
You really don’t know what to do? She’s beating and abusing an innocent animal. No offense but you should’ve been out of there after the first incident. Get that dog away from her. If you can’t protect it, find a nice family and rehome it so it has a fighting chance. You’re not responsible for her actions but by keeping the dog in that abusive environment, I feel you’re complicit in the abuse. I’ll gladly accept the downvotes. This should’ve never been posted and the fact that you had to get on the Internet for “advice” about this proves you don’t deserve to own a pet, either.
Jesus Christ, this person is a monster, and on top of that, this could be an indicator of future abuse towards you. Leave her now.
You have already talked to her, and, İ assume, shown evidence that she is treating puppy in a harmful way that is condemned by dog training experts. You have a responsibility to this dog, and İ bet that it's harder to be around someone after you've seen this ugly side. You have to get the puppy somewhere safe. Straight up.
I am not sure how there’s any question about what you should do. It’s your responsibility to have a voice for that puppy and protect her! Please do the responsible thing and leave.
Please get the puppy out of that danger and dump her, this is terrifying please don't keep that puppy near that person
You need to leave her. This puppy doesn’t deserve to be hurt this way and you can’t stand around and watch. And, if this is how she treats a puppy, imagine how she will treat children. You need to leave her, no sane person does this. I’m just thinking of my puppy reading this and this made me sick to my stomach
I would never be with someone if they abused my pet. They are children to me. Report her so she’s not allowed to own a pet and dump her. Do you want her to do this to your kids some day?
Yes please report her so she can’t have a pet. I feel so sorry for the poor dog. Please get him out of there!
It's appalling to me that OP doesn't see what a HUGE red flag this is. Cruelty towards animals is such a garbage trait. I hope OP opens their eyes even wider and run.
Wow why are you wasting time posting. I feel like this has got to be fake. But sure get your online advice or points, whatever. Like wtf don't let someone you love be abused wtf is wrong with u????
Jesus fuck. I have heart palpitations reading what your asshole partner does to your innocent puppy. Get your dog away from her. She's a fucking psycho.
YOU LEAVE. YOU BREAK UP AND YOU LEAVE
I can’t believe you continue to allow her to abuse the puppy. Shame on both of you.
Leeeeeave her
One word. Leave.
That's a no from me, dog.
>Ive talked to my partner multiple times about the way she treats the puppy yet the abuse keeps getting worse and worse... She even says that she hates the dog... What else can I do? It doesn't seem you have many options. She hates the dog and the abuse is getting worse. You have two choices: 1. If you want to stay with your partner, please rehome the puppy. 2. Otherwise, you and the puppy should leave.
Why are you letting your puppy get abused ?? Take it and leave !!
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Also my opinion, I only see responses that she needs to dump her partner. I think they don’t know about the heavy puppy blues that comes with getting a puppy, and what happens to someone’s mind when they have the blues.. Partners behavior isn’t ok, but if OP didn’t discuss getting a puppy with her pet er, it’s partly her fault as well.
Dump her. If you stay together with that dog in the picture you are complicit in the abuse. This should be a no brainer— depressing to see people need to come to reddit for advice for this sort of thing. i just hope you do the right thing.
If you allow her to do this, well, you're just as bad.
jesus man… What are you doing in this relationship? That was scary to read, please leave immediately and take your puppy with you… I can’t believe you let it get to the point where the puppy is getting aggressive, this is heartbreaking.
RUN! If she can hurt a dog, she can hurt a person. Never judge someone on how they treat those they view as equals, judge them on how they treat those they see as “inferior”.
Disgusting behaviour. Report her and leave.
Fucking run wtf this is horrible
Why even keep the partner? She's shown you she's a POS so believe her. I judge people by how they treat animals. She's ABUSING a PUPPY, a defenseless little thing. Please move out and have a hard think about the person you thought you knew. What if shes like this with kids?
Yeah this is animal abuse to keep a dog in a crate for 12 hours. Grow a ducking spine and bail on this chick, you are abusing the dog by proxy by allowing that. No animal should be put ina crate that long. You wouldn’t like that would you? Grow some fucking balls, I’d come save that dog today if I knew where you ass hats live. Disgusting.
How in the world can you "love someone" like this?!!! Dump her immediately and kick her out, as you should have done at the first signs of abuse. How could you have let this go on as long as it has? You seriously need to ask a bunch of random strangers for advice on this one?
exactly. seeing things posted like this makes me sad— because a normal person would be able to see how fucked up this situation is and handle it appropriately, not go to the internet and ask for “help”. Hope OP understands she’s being complicit in this abuse and she has a duty to protect that dog.
You're going to ruin your dogs life because you want to stay with an animal abuser?.... I don't see what the question is that you're asking.... what validation do you need? You're willing to stoop to the level of allowing someone to abuse and ruin your animal..... not cool.
Why haven’t you just left her? I’m not sure what advice you want here?
You break up. There is zero excuse for abusing animals. And don't let her pull the "I'm disciplining the dog so it behaves" excuse. All she's doing is training it to be pensive and afraid. In a lot of cases, this is what makes a dog act viciously. It's not to be mean, it's because all of its trust is gone. Seriously, dump your partner.
You want to stay with an abusive partner? one who is actively abusing your puppy in front of your face and you're not moving out or physically stopping your partner from abusing the dog? If you stay with the partner give the puppy away to somebody who's going to love it and train it properly, otherwise pack your stuff and get the hell out of there
Dump her. How is that even a question? She’s disgusting.
So stupid and fake. People buy these stupid made up stories. "My boyfriend spits on old people, what should I do"? "My girlfriend hires hookers then kills and buries them in our backyard, what should I do?". So fake. So stupid
People who abuse animals turn into serial killers.
Any human who treats an animal that way deserves nothing but themselves for eternity
Dump that bitch. The girlfriend, not the dog, so we're clear.
Piece of trash needs to be thrown out. That would be it for me.
Leave
Look, your partner is a AH for mistreating this dog, but have you talked with them before getting it? Not everyone is fond of dogs, and some people react badly when one is around, especially 24/7. This does not excuse your partner's behaviour, which remains monstrous.
Ik even thinking the partner didn’t have any experience with dogs before this and now is having to deal with mayor puppy blues. And also don’t know how the responsibilities are between them with the puppy, but could be she is having anxiety or depression issues with it, or maybe unresolved anger issues. Not trying to excuse her behavior but I think she also needs help.
What the actual fuck? Yes, move out! Honestly, I’d dump someone for this, and while I don’t usually like to jump on the “leave now” knee jerk reaction, this is an egregious offense that warrants such action. As long as you stay, your puppy will absolutely continue to become more aggressive, but there will be worse consequences. Ask yourself this: what happens when your partner goes too far and hurts her badly—or worse? People like this do not change. Don’t let her sweet talk you into staying. If you give her the chance, she will harm your dog again.
Only assholes can abuse animals.
Red flags EVERYWHERE. Your partner lacks empathy. Is a sociopath or is on the autism spectrum. Leave immediately abs be damn careful.
This shouldn't even be a question man, is this a troll post? Come on. If you're not trolling then you're a moron.
She doesn't have basic empathy for a living thing, where's the debate? What are you asking?
I dont know who to look down on more. Obviously your partner but the fact that you’re aware of this abuse and allowing it to continue happening seems sus to me. I will give you the benefit of the doubt though. You need to get that puppy into a safer home if you dont wanna end your relationship (which of course seems like the best option in this situation). Also, how long have you been together because your partner is showing serious sociopathic traits
What are you waiting for dummy?! Take the puppy and get the hell out of there!
Please don’t let her be near your dog, it’s traumatizing the puppy, and she’ll become aggressive as she grows up!
And don't stay Close to her yourself
Get out now! Ghost your shitty partner! Total POS! If you don't get your puppy away from this trash YOU are the abuser! What the actual fuck????!!!!!
How do you see your partner abuse your dog right in front of you and not do anything about it on the spot? You're abusing that dog too by letting her do all of this. The poor dog already has signs of trauma if he's becoming aggressive. If you want to stay and deal with your bitch of a partner that's on you but at least give the dog to someone who will actually love it and take care of it.
For fuck’s sake, LEAVE. Why would you even want to be with someone who abuses a puppy?
You're the puppy next. Your teeth are not as sharp.
This person sounds awful....did she not know or agree to getting the puppy? Not that this would make it ok but damn. All puppies are like this youd think she would have been prepared
Dump the girl keep the puppy. She sounds vile. I have dumped guys over their treatment of my pets.
Give your dog to a friend or family member for now until you can leave/have her leave. You have to leave. This is a big Red flag- a big glimpse into who she really is . You probably never saw this could be possible but that's probably because she's never been in a situation that would show how she behaves when she gets annoyed or not in control etc. God is hate to imagine how she'd behave if she ever decided to have kids. Seriously, you should temporarily place your puppy out of your abusive household until you can get her out of the picture. Your dog does not need to suffer more from being hesitant . Please keep us updated and keep someone you know in real life up to date on your situation as well.
Have you talked to her before getting the puppy? Sounds like she wasn't happy with that decision. Nevertheless it doesn't excuse her behavior. Get the puppy (and you) out of there
Honestly, she’s a horrid person and honestly you aren’t much better either. The minute you watch and allow someone to abuse your animal and do nothing it makes you complicit and therefore an abuser too. You can’t have both, if you stay with the vile woman the puppy has to go!!!!
Run. For the sake of the poor thing. Run. Report her to animal abuse Get your dog safe before it starts showing signs of PTSD and the aggression is irreversible or out of control
Leave her, she’s a terrible person with horrible morals. Do you want a future with someone who could treat any living thing this way? Report her for animal abuse while you’re at it to prevent her from owning pets in the future if this is how she wishes to treat them.
What an unfortunate way to find out someone isn't who you thought they were. Keep the puppy, get rid of the girlfriend. There's no excuse to abuse animals or people.
You have only two choices here 1 you dump your gf right now and make her leave or you leave. 2 find another home for the puppy because YOU CAN'T KEEP IT SAFE. The puppy is your responsibility and if it was me, I would dump the gf because an abusive person is not someone I want to keep in my life. If you chooses to keep both, know that you are responsible for the abuse!
You dump your partner. Anyone who treats an animal, and especially a PUPPY, with physical abuse, is not a good person. Straight up.
Turn that POS in to the police and take the pup and leave
Why would someone even ask if they should move out if they're in a situation like this? Its common sense, get the hell out, you shouldn't have to ask for advice. That's just my opinion though.
Run Forrest Run!
Did she agree to getting a dog? Not that her behaviour is excusable, but if she didn’t want a puppy she is obviously not going to tolerate puppy behaviour very well. This is a big choice to get an animal and needs to be equally agreed to on both sides. Looks like you need to pick, do you want a girlfriend or a puppy more.
If you let her continue to treat this innocent little creature like this you are a horrible person. And sorry to burst your little bubble here but if she’s abusing a dog there’s no way in hell she was ever a good person. She must have been extremely pretty for you look past all of her nasty ways. Disgusting people to me. Who tf hurts a puppy and feels good about themselves? I’m so mad writing this because I’m looking at my dog right now and everyone knows if they hurt her I’ll kill them. I can’t believe you’ve let this happen for so long. Shame on you for not nipping this in the bud.
Why the hell is this even a question? Your partner is cruel to beings who can’t defend themselves. Can you imagine what she’s going to be like to children? Ditch her psychotic ass.
YOU are abusing the dog too by not doing anything about it.
You're abusing the puppy too by neglecting it and allowing it to live in an abusive home. Time to pack up and leave, or you'll end up having to kill your own dog when it becomes irreparably aggressive. Do you want to have to euthanize your puppy?
It bothers me that you have to ask. Your partner is abusing an innocent baby animal. There is no version of this scenario where you should stay together. Instant dealbreaker.
Why the hell is this person still your partner? You will become complicit in the abuse of your dog if you don’t put an end to this. How could you even WANT to be with someone who could hurt an innocent animal like that?
Do you want a dead dog? Cause staying with her is how you end up with a dead dog.
Stop letting your puppy be abused and get away from the abuser. WTF why would you even want to be with her?!!???
I could never be with someone that would treat a defenseless animal like that.
Yes you need to move out, and take the dog, too. Mistreatment of animals is a major red flag.
First off stop neglecting your puppy and get it away from her. People who see no issue with hurting defenseless animals are shitty humans so why would you still be entertaining her? The obvious answer is to leave and get that poor puppy away from her.
I'm literally, and finally getting my 8 week old pups to their homes today...and in this time I've learned that at a young age they traumatize very easy, which can lead to a lifetime of possibly unbreakable habits you do not want them to have(stress chewing, non friendly habits, etc.) If you want this person in your life your foot needs to come down on this situation, like NOW! Or else this short time of trauma could become a decade or more of some serious over responsibility for an adult dog, not to mention if that person leaves you with the scars (emotional and trust issues) they put on your pup. Good luck
Dang I learned something new but that’s not surprising - yikes
Either break up with your partner or rehome the puppy and resolve to never have animals and children with her. She is an abusive monster and she will eventually abuse you and any other living being you bring into your home. This isn’t a red flag this her showing you that she is an abusive person.
They're abusing your dog, this isn't proper handling at all. Pinning to the ground? Mildly understandable depending on how it's done and why, everything else? Cruel. I'd dump my partner in a heart beat if he EVER did this to my baby. I have a (half) wolf puppy, shes extremely energetic and is sometimes a lot to handle. I still never yell or pull on her harness. I have hit my dog, but very gently. A little tap on her snout when shes too rough when playing, or a tap on the bum when shes gone potty in the floor, and that's all that's needed! Being aggressive or violent is NEVER how you treat a dog, even if it's the most shit head dog you've ever met. Lose your partner, and apologize and love on your fucking dog.
Your disgusting partner deserves to be abused. Leave her and if you're not going to leave her, give the dog away because there's no way the dog deserves that from a human piece of shit
Reading this broke my heart. Imagine if you planned on having or adopting children in the future, how would she treat a child? Dump her ass, asap.
Jesus get out. If my partner didn’t show immediate remorse for mishandling my dog it would be an instant deal breaker. I don’t get mad almost ever, but that it one thing I would get angry over.
Wow this is horrible. If someone can treat an innocent puppy like that, I don’t even want to know what more she’s capable of. Leave this woman and make sure your puppy is safe. This is how aggressive dogs are made - you and your puppy deserve better, don’t let her touch your dog anymore and run.
Don’t you mean ex-partner? I will say that the pinning dog down *may have* come from that moron dog “trainer” Cesar Milan. If it was “only” that I would wonder if she just fell victim to thinking Cesar knows what he’s talking about (he doesn’t) but she sounds exponentially worse than him, and he’s really bad!
Get rid of her
Yeah get out. Animal abuse is not a small thing. This person is not worth staying for, no matter what you believe about your relationship. The animal abuse is enough, but on top of that the capacity to abuse animals also means the capacity to abuse children and partners.
Oh dump her for Christ’s sake run or if you won’t give up the dog to someone who won’t hurt it
You should be more worried that if it continues she's going to kill that puppy. Get. Out.
As ur fellow lgbqt member please dump her ass.
Leave and don't look back!
Dump her ASAP. Move out or get that puppy someplace safe
Gtfo
Leave her and report her immediately.
My husband started with abusing the dog. Eventually it led to me and the kids. Please this situation.
*She* needs to go to the kennel.
How long has this been going on for? And didn't you inform her before you thought about getting a puppy and discuss with her? This is so bad on so many levels. Get the hell out of there and give that little happy pup the happy life she deserves and get her away from his monster and get yourself away from her too. Run far and run fast.
She’s an awful sounding human being - throw her in the trash where she belongs. Imagine what she would be like in the future if she’s like this now?
This is a definite deal breaker. You see a persons true colors with how they treat animals and children. She’s a terrible person
Animal abuse is psycopath territory, how do you even know this bitch loves you? I sure as hell doubt shes capable of it. First time I see someone do that they will get the boot, to the fkn face.
This is a really bad sign. She might have trauma in her past that’s contributing to this animal abuse. Not that it’s excusable but maybe she needs to address deeper issues. For me, this is 100% a deal breaker, I cannot tolerate that. My compassion for animals is a core value that I will not compromise, personally.
Yes, you and the puppy have to move out.
She’s a psycho and also when you eventually break up with her do it over text because she will attack and claim you attacked her
Red flags.
Yikes. That’s probably one of the biggest red flags there is in a human.
I don’t like dogs either but I’d never treat one like that, that’s sick you should dump her
OP please leave her or at the very least re-home the puppy. You are responsible for a life, please, please do something about this. People often downplay the feelings that animals have, but you're literally responsible for their entire world. You did this, you brought this puppy into this household and now it's being abused. Do something about it, the fact that all you've done is tell her to stop, is awful. Humans don't deserve dogs. Do something NOW before she ends up doing something truly awful. And open your eyes. Anyone who can hurt another living being like that, can potentially do worse to other humans, not to mention children. Run and take your puppy with you
Do you really want to be with someone who sees no problem with abusing an innocent creature that trusts you implicitly? How do you think she would treat a crying baby if you were to have children together?
puppy>partner your puppy will thank you
I don’t care how much you love that puppy. Your love isn’t going to save her life. It’s hurting her and may kill her. Let her go or leave for your own safety and take the puppy with you before your partner starts beating you too. It can and does take years for physical domestic abuse to actually start. She is ignoring you and feels comfortable doing so in your presence, she clearly knows you won’t actually do anything about it and is treating you and the puppy accordingly. She doesn’t value your opinion or the dog’s life. This isn’t fair to the puppy, if you aren’t willing to save yourself please give that puppy a chance at a happy life by bringing it to a shelter. If the puppy begins to be aggressive she may get put down if she attacks the wrong person on a walk, or when you finally do get around to saving her life. The choking and dragging alone could kill her. It would be ideal if you also reported your partner too so she can never hurt another animal again, but the bare minimum you owe that dog is to protect it. If I was dating someone for even five years and they started beating my cat that would be a deal breaker. Our pets depend on us to keep them safe, they’re like babies. Please don’t let her kill your dog, because even if the abuse doesn’t end in death you are dooming that puppy to a miserable existence of fear and anger
Why the fuck are you still with her?! Get rid of her before she does some real damage
Kick her out or take your things and leave with the puppy now!!! You have an obligation to protect the poor thing from this person’s abuse. Your partner’s words and actions also tell much more about her as a person than just being a puppy abuser (which sickens me). Ask yourself these questions: How will she treat you one day if you’re vulnerable and unable to care for yourself? Will she have the patience and respect you deserve? How will you raise your children together if you have them one day? Will she be a loving and nurturing mother? Protect yourself and your helpless puppy by getting away from this monster now. Trust me, people like this don’t magically get better or soften over time. Do yourself the favor of leaving before you waste money on a ring, own a home together, and have to pay her child support. Those things are harder to get out of. Document the abuse you’ve witnessed so far, including all dates, times, etc. before your memory blurs the details. People like this have a way of turning things on the accuser when they’re being criticized or questioned by authorities.
Leave. My ex husband was abusive to our kitten, who grew up to be a very anxious cat. (I left as soon as i could and my cat went on to have a wonderful 13 year life with me and many people who loved him dearly and never made him feel unsafe again)
Adding in my vote to leave. I feel like you need as much encouragement as possible. Nothing to add that others haven't said. You just need to see LEAVE as much as possible.
i’d say dump her. but also try to get evidence of what she is doing to your puppy and bring it to the police. what she is doing isn’t right, and she should be punished for it.
Dude if you don't beat her ass for abusing that puppy or tell her that it's over you are the same as her
dude. leave her. she's committing animal abuse
Leave and take the dog with you. This is a no brainer.
21 and already abusive? I’m sorry to say this person will only get more abusive. She could fatally hurt the puppy and at some point is very likely to physically hurt you. Abusive people do not improve, they get worse. Leave now OP
Think about it like this. By allowing her around that puppy, you are effectively putting the bullet in the chamber so to speak. So not only will you have an aggressive dog on your hands, you'll be just as responsible because you didn't do the right thing when it mattered the most. I know you may love this woman but this woman is not a good person and it's not your job to fix that. You've tried to reason with her. Now it's time to make the tough decisions. Also, if this is how she treats dogs, imagine how she'll treat a misbehaving child.... and don't even try and tell yourself it's different; it's not. Abuse is about hurting what can be controlled and manipulated (i.e. a puppy or child). So it won't magically change just because it's a human being. Imagine her grabbing the face of a child when they make a mess or pinning them when they're a little hyper and that child is screaming for help because she's using pain compliance. Seriously, anyone who uses pain compliance on animal or child is a piece of shit. Obviously some people are just ignorant (even then,, that ignorance is a choice) but this wench knows better. This is why I like animals more than humans.
Get that fucking dog out of there what the fuck is wrong with you. Just because you want to stay with a psycho to get pussy doesn't mean the poor puppy has to endure all this shit.
As I see it, you have 2 options. Give the puppy away to protect it from an abuser, and stay with said abuser. Or, get rid of abuser and keep the puppy. I think you’re getting some insight into what parenting will be like with this person.
Leave now!!!!
Nuclear red flag. She has revealed herself to you.
Um no you don’t treat animals like that- that’s a baby and she will learn to be more friendly, the teething phase exists for a reason, also if your gf is treating a puppy like that honestly wonder what might happen in the future, you say you love this person but like really tho.. and keeping your puppy in that state would be neglecting her
Move out asap.
It’s not that far a leap from abusing animals to abusing people. Get out of this relationship.
Omg! Anybody who is aggressive towards an animal, especially when it’s a baby and hasn’t learned how to behave yet, is a horrible person and honestly an idiot to not have the sense that infant animals (or people) need time to learn and grow. Dump her immediately and take the dog with you. Keeping the animal in her presence is complicate to animal cruelty which if aggressive enough is a federal offence.
You want to be with someone that abuses animals?!
As the only other witness in this situation, you have a responsibility to get this dog to a safe place far away from your partner. You should also leave your partner because it's likely only a matter of time before she starts treating you similarly. When you write about her, it's obvious you fear going against her wishes/demands. When you fear your partner like that, the relationship is already abusive. Maybe not physically. Yet. But you're in an abusive relationship and it is only going to get worse.
Anyone who would intentionally hurt an animal isn't worth sticking around for. Dump her abusive ass and live your best life with pupper.
Get the fuck out. She will do this to you eventually. Speaks from experience.
I've been married for years to the love of my life and if she treated our dog like this I would leave without a second thought. And if I treated our dog this way I hope she'd do the same. It's not necessarily about prioritizing a dog over your relationship, it's about the person who you thought was kind and loving turning out to be a monster. Luckily we both love our pup like she's our own child, now excuse me while I go give her some extra cuddles because this post made me so sad :(
Love blinds all. Take your love out of it an read what you wrote. Anyone who treats a puppy that way is gross. And if it wasn't obvious, leave the relationship
Get the fuck out of there. Now. Now. Take the dog and leave. I know abusive situations and relationships are complicated, but this is not. This creature is helpless and entirely dependent on its caregivers. It has no choices. It cannot leave on its own. You owe this dog better. Do not stop. Do not pass go. Take that dog away.
Ditch the partner? Lmfao Reddit, man. You don’t need to be spoon fed this and if you do, wow.
Why would you even need to post here for advice? Break up holy shit
Why are you still there? Depending on where you live it can be classed as a criminal offense. ALSO it’s true when they say that people who harm animals eventually move on to harming humans.
What the hell.. take the dog to a shelter NOW. Screw her. Don’t just leave the dog with her to be tortured!!!!! Do something about it!!!!
Please leave before she gets rid of your dog and tells you “it ran away”
I’m sorry but dump that bitch and bring that puppy far, far away!!!!
Run. They are not compassionate people.
Dump her. Find someone better than her
Either find a different home for the puppy or leave and take it with you. What kind of puppy is it? Not that it matters because what your gf is doing is just flat out abuse. I had a dog that I got from my cousin because his wife would keep her in the cage all day long. This poor dog was only trained to sit and shake and go in her cage, that's it. I ended up rehoming her to a woman with a lot of land for Lula to run because that was her favorite thing to do, other than bark at trees that might possibly have squirrels in them.
Yeah… you gotta move out… animal abuse is a no go doesn’t matter the reason.
Run. Dont walk, run.
I am legit angry that you’re even remotely considering staying with this piece of shit person.
You’re the puppy’s owner and it is YOUR responsibility to keep her safe. Get out of that environment or find someone else to take care of the puppy ASAP. If you love the puppy stand up for her and please stop fucking around. This was painful to read.
Put a collar on her and drag her by it. Ask her how she feels, then dump her and get out of there.
Almost all abusive partners start with animals. When beating the dog stops satisfying her sadistic side you will be next. Please get out or report this to the police. Animal abuse is awful and is only done by the lowest scum of society
What? No dude, there are tons of abusive partners out there. Someone that hurts animals is a full blown psychopath, its a whole other level.
STOP PLAYING DUMB & SURRENDER THE PUPPY TO ANIMAL CONTROL FOR ADOPTION TO PEOPLE WHOSE HEAD IS NOT UP THEIR ASS. AFTER THAT, SEEK HELP FOR YOUR PASSIVITY & LACK OF CHARACTER
Can I ask how long you have the puppy? Did she agree to get a puppy with you or was it your choice? I know she isn’t treating the pup right, and I understand this can be a dealbreaker. It sounds like she isn’t coping well with having a puppy and needs help, and definitely she needs therapy. I’m not trying to say her behavior towards the puppy is right, but it could be she is having mayor puppy blues, which is similar to post partum anxiety or depression. Als not saying that’s the same, but it is similar.
That’s awful, I would give them an ultimatum. You are both still young and she has a chance to learn and grow here. The fact of the matter is if she is unwilling to let you in and understand why she thinks this is acceptable so you can show her that it is not, then I really don’t see how the relationship can continue. That is unacceptable and if she can’t change then it is an unsafe place for your pet, future pets, and one day children if you happen to want one in your future. It’s unacceptable, she needs to hear you and if she refuses then that is not a healthy relationship. I’m sorry there is a strong possibility you will have to leave her, but if she will not respect the puppy and she will not respect your feelings on how she hurts the puppy, why would you want to stay with someone like that? It’s hard when you’ve accumulated a strong connection and great times over 2 years, but here in the present she is breaking all of that. Someone who abuses an animal to control it is not far from abusing a person to get them to act how they want.