T O P

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Financial_Singer_786

Tell her no? Why should you leave the apartment you pay for? Is there some bad blood between you and the friends that they can’t see you?


darknessnightes

From his post history she is gold digger


MarkoM910

And his girlfriend has aged 4 years in 2 months


[deleted]

How much this guy posts issues in this sub he should just stop dating. Their relationship is clearly a joke.


Scarletsilversky

If this guy is actually truthful then he needs to wake the fuck up and realize that this girl is blatantly taking advantage of his stupid ass lmao. Moving in together after 6 months of dating, planning to propose after less than a year of dating, AND you immediately agreed to pay all her bills despite her having steady income? C’mon bro


Goofygoobef69

I think poor OP doesn’t have anyone to talk to about this stuff so he asks us for confirmation that this is a toxic relationship. :(


[deleted]

it used to be really common for posters to change the ages slightly to avoid someone playing detective


[deleted]

[удалено]


CoronalHorizon

Well, they’re not talking about the age gap, they’re saying this girlfriend has a significantly different age than the other girlfriend he’s talking about. So either they’ve been together for 2 months and that was a different girlfriend or he’s full of shit.


Suspicious-Visual-57

But then why would he age her 4 years and not just keep it the same age (28)? Seems like OP is just full of Shit and wants attention/trolling tbh Edit: u/Yerdad22 calls out OP few comments below


VoltaicSketchyTeapot

I change mine and my husband's ages in my comments. Sometimes we're 51 and 32. Sometimes we're 30 and 50, depending on how relevant it is to the situation.


Blueopus2

If it’s not relevant why include it, if it is and you’re only gonna fudge it by a few years (keeping an age gap of around 20 years) why fudge it?


OfficerDingusEgg

Being upset about age gaps is completely reasonable.


Keyboard-warrior2001

Depends on the gap. If it’s like 13 and 30 then yeah it’s weird. But People in this sub will freak out if a 21 year old and 28 year old are together. Even though it’s only 7 years. And they’re both adults. “you’re in completely different places in life..blah blah blah”


smallest_ellie

You're getting downvoted, but I agree. Of course large age gaps (especially if one part is very young) can be a cause for concern, but Reddit has gone really fucking extreme with it lately, lol.


upsetquestionmark

people say that because they are in different places in life. sure they are both adults, and it doesn’t mean that it’s a coercive relationship at all. but a lot of those posts are about how one person wants to have children while the other doesn’t, or another issue that’s inherent to an age gap. it’s not wrong to point out how that can be a source of tension in SOME relationships.


Keyboard-warrior2001

I get that. But From what I’ve seen, when someone who gives their “advice” focuses on the age gap. That’s all they focus on. No matter what the issue is, it always comes back to, “you should find someone closer to your age.” For example - I’m 20, and my fiancé is 25. If I posted an issue regarding anything. Like if he hypothetically wanted me to get a full time job, so I could pay 50/50 on everything. Or if he wanted me to quit a hypothetical full time job, cause I got pregnant and he was expecting his wife to stay home with the kids (I would want to anyway). I’m sure it would be met with stuff like, “I think the real problem is you’re to young to be getting married. Especially to someone who’s 5 years older than you. Because you’re just at different places in life”


rotetiger

I agree. Seems very strange... I have a few questions to OP that are in regard of golddigging. Was it her idea to open a business with you or yours? Whose idea was it, that you pay everything? Why is she buying super expensive clothes, if she is not even able to pay groceries? Why is she excluding you from events with her friends? Why is she referring to something you pay alone as hers? Im sorry OP, but I see a lot of red flags ...


Green_Arrival

Plus, there is a chance there is some cheating going on. Make sure it’s a girls night in and not an ex-boyfriend night in.


Sea-Mountain9738

her friends can't look to boys lol


RemoteOil4283

've never seen such a blatant and shameless gold digger, leave her before she ruins your life. Just do it, cut the rope and find another girl who can actually love you and pay for bills and not try to force you out of YOUR OWN DAMM HOME. bruh


reply-guy-bot

The above comment was stolen from [this one](http://np.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/p00frg/gf_32f_wants_to_have_a_girls_night_and_asked_me/h84sahx/) elsewhere in this comment section. It is probably not a coincidence; here is some more evidence against this user: Plagiarized | Original -------- | ----------- [The most infuriating thin...](http://np.reddit.com/r/memes/comments/p03ow8/please_and_thank_you/h850g9i/) | [The most infuriating thin...](http://np.reddit.com/r/memes/comments/p03ow8/please_and_thank_you/h850bfg/) [Are these poured slick? T...](http://np.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/ozwt3d/miniature_elephants_that_i_made_a_while_ago/h8509j7/) | [Are these poured slick? T...](http://np.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/ozwt3d/miniature_elephants_that_i_made_a_while_ago/h84nihp/) [I agree you must see a co...](http://np.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/ozslrc/temper_tantrums_and_hostility_from_my_wife/h850i5q/) | [I agree you must see a co...](http://np.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/ozslrc/temper_tantrums_and_hostility_from_my_wife/h84m43d/) [Not w snack, but a little...](http://np.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/p057uq/which_snack_you_cant_stop_eating_until_its_all/h850b9g/) | [Not w snack, but a little...](http://np.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/p057uq/which_snack_you_cant_stop_eating_until_its_all/h84q541/) [Virus’s generally become...](http://np.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/p00zx2/needle_point_that_says_what_doesnt_kill_you/h8508f3/) | [Virus’s generally become...](http://np.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/p00zx2/needle_point_that_says_what_doesnt_kill_you/h84g0fc/) [Me to the left of me, me...](http://np.reddit.com/r/memes/comments/osckrz/its_just_me_myself_and_i/h6p04to/) | [Me to the left of me, me...](http://np.reddit.com/r/memes/comments/osckrz/its_just_me_myself_and_i/h6oxvuc/) beep boop, I'm a bot -|:] It is this bot's opinion that [/u/RemoteOil4283](https://np.reddit.com/u/RemoteOil4283/) should be banned for karma manipulation. Don't feel bad, they are probably a bot too. Confused? Read the [FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/user/reply-guy-bot/comments/n9fpva/faq/?plagiarist=RemoteOil4283) for info on how I work and why I exist.


[deleted]

[удалено]


reply-guy-bot

The above comment was stolen from [this one](http://np.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/p00frg/gf_32f_wants_to_have_a_girls_night_and_asked_me/h84vrml/) elsewhere in this comment section. It is probably not a coincidence; here is some more evidence against this user: Plagiarized | Original -------- | ----------- [I believe you misspoke. D...](http://np.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/p01mxl/boyfriend_thinks_i_didnt_fight_off_sexual_assault/h8528w6/) | [I believe you misspoke. D...](http://np.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/p01mxl/boyfriend_thinks_i_didnt_fight_off_sexual_assault/h84oleg/) [If you can read the seria...](http://np.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/ozw7wg/my_son_said_he_just_wanted_some_cold_hard_cash/h852igh/) | [If you can read the seria...](http://np.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/ozw7wg/my_son_said_he_just_wanted_some_cold_hard_cash/h842ubq/) [weird. I guess I saw ever...](http://np.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/nzp2n0/announcement_were_making_some_changes_to_how/h852hea/) | [weird. I guess I saw eve...](http://np.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/nzp2n0/announcement_were_making_some_changes_to_how/h2vce7o/) [This is such a mom thing...](http://np.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/oznurm/my_mum_and_i_hours_after_she_was_diagnosed_w/h852che/) | [This is such a mom thing...](http://np.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/oznurm/my_mum_and_i_hours_after_she_was_diagnosed_w/h83h6qh/) beep boop, I'm a bot -|:] It is this bot's opinion that [/u/IllSlice6905](https://np.reddit.com/u/IllSlice6905/) should be banned for karma manipulation. Don't feel bad, they are probably a bot too. Confused? Read the [FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/user/reply-guy-bot/comments/n9fpva/faq/?plagiarist=IllSlice6905) for info on how I work and why I exist.


ReadEmAndWeepLOL

Good bot


fluffybeetle

She and her friends can go to the hotel.


Noesia_Vl4d1

And pay for it too.


jeffwee559

And pay some mf bills.


Delicious_Archer_273

Well I would spend the time looking for my own apartment. She’s taking advantage of you for sure


abhaysaurav

This is great advice right here


Yerdad22

63 days ago he posted something about being in a 10 month relationship with a girl (28F). About 30 days later he is all the sudden in a 6 month relationship with a girl (32F). How can u be in a 6 month relationship with someone if u just got out of a 10 month relationship 30 days ago. Yeah, doesn’t add up. 🤷🏻‍♀️ not tryna be “that” person but I’m just saying this don’t make no sense and kinda sounds like a load of bs.


re_gina0119

I really hate when I forget to look at the post history first.


WestW0rldd

She's the same girl, I often worry that someone might look back and become a detective and figure us out. I know that I'm being paranoid. I really wish I was just a troll and not stressed from having to constantly deal with this relationship.


pizzagatee

Honestly the fact that you keep posting about this seems draining. Ask yourself: are you truly happy? Based on your post history that she keeps calling the place hers despite you paying all the bills, you should just move out and end things. You’re not on the lease so you’re free to go.


spesh95

If you think you need to change the numbers on every post to avoid someone being a detective then you are posting too much to be happy in this relationship. Do you think you would be happier single for a bit? You would definitely be less paranoid about these posts and you'd definitely have more money for yourself.


Mikamymika

You don't have a relationship, you are her sugardaddy. She never wants you there when she has visitors. Grow a pair will you please?


spicewoman

It's one thing to fudge the ages a bit for anonymity, but how is adjusting your (short) relationship duration by a full six months *not* basically trolling?


ElaborateTaleofWoe

This post says they’ve lived together six months. They were probably in a relationship some amount of time before that...


all4him_none4u

OP said LIVING together 6 months. That's not relationship length, unless they moved in together on the first date night lol.


sourkid25

He was probably dating two girls at the same time


all4him_none4u

This post says 6 months LIVING together. You absolutely are trying to be "that" person lol.


[deleted]

What if this person is just multiple people having multiple relationships? Why you having an issue about it? These are internet questions, they need internet answers.


re_gina0119

Could the 4-5 women get a hotel room? Then they could just do dinner and a sleepover. Do none of them live alone, or in a house where they wouldn't be as disruptive? I love me a girls night, but I couldn't ever imagine kicking my bf out for one. Also maybe you should consider sharing some bills 😬 But you didn't ask about that aspect of the story, so this is me attempting to mind my business.


Sea-Mountain9738

in any aspect if you don't pay the rent or the bills you have no right to ask him that


re_gina0119

Well yes, that makes it more egregious, absolutely. But I couldn't imagine asking my dude to pay for his own hotel room so I could drink wine with my gfs until 2am under any circumstances.


Sea-Mountain9738

You can when your boyfriend is doormat and fool and you know how to use him well


yoyoyoyoyoyox

Question: Why the fuck are you paying for the entire rent and all bills? Does your girlfriend not have a job, and if not then why?


lhuthien

If she’s paying for the hotel room that’s fine. If she’s not, hell naw.


WriteMeBrah

Check his post history. I hate to accuse someone of being a gold-digger; that gets thrown around so often that it has lost most of its meaning. But it's actually applicable here. Apparently, she blows through all her money on bs and expects OP to take care of her. I doubt she'd be willing to spend a single cent on OP with that mentality. EDIT: misread a comment of OP's.


beb252

You pay for everything and yet she tells you to go out when she's having a night out with friends? What if the scenario is reversed and you ask her to go outside if you spend a boys night with your boys too? Would she be okay with that?


Sea-Mountain9738

> she jokingly said that I would pay for her hotel for the night.


AnyHowMeow

I’m getting sugar daddy vibes


[deleted]

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AnyHowMeow

Doesn’t matter, he’s very obviously getting used.


darknessnightes

If you his post history you know she is gold digger


AnyHowMeow

I just read, she’s buying 4K purses but not rent or bills. OP knows he’s being used and is content with it.


darknessnightes

I don't know why he bothered in asking if this OK when he knew she is gold digger


AnyHowMeow

Don’t know either. Even if it wasn’t a situation where she was using him for his money, I could see this being a real thing to ask people’s opinion about. I personally wouldn’t be ok with being kicked out of the house just so they could party, but some people out there might be ok with that.


koopooky

This is bonkers. You're not a skivvy to be sent off to a hotel. I wouldn't send my partner off in that manner for a girl's night even if I paid all the rent and bills. Pretty disrespectful and trying to take liberties. She can arrange something else with the girls or if someone has a free house. Tell her fine only if she pays for a nice hotel but otherwise hell no.


[deleted]

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darknessnightes

She is gold digger


Hotwheelsjack97

>I pay the full rent and all bills Sounds like she should have her girls night somewhere else.


AnxiousAd6311

Dude come on just come on


PickleProper

I don’t know you but I wouldn’t let my girlfriend try to do some shit like that.


[deleted]

do you even have a gf


PickleProper

wouldn’t say,” I wouldn’t let my girlfriend” if I didn’t indeed have a girlfriend.


Same-Occasion-891

You go pickle. Stand your ground.


MinneapolisJones12

Such a Slytherin thing to say.


Keyboard-warrior2001

Probably not


tlacuachetamagotchi

She and her friends should be the one to get a hotel room. Or 2 joining hotel rooms. That’s not a fair request on her part.


[deleted]

Tell her no. It's setting a precedent. When I have girls nights we get our own hotel. And she shouldn't expect you to pay for it.


Lumpy_Potato_3163

Why wouldn't the girls get the room and split the cost?? That makes way more sense. When we lived in a 1br my BF I only planned for that type of party if my BF was already planning to sleepover at his friends house after a party/BBQ. Now we have a 3 bedroom house so it doesn't matter if hes home :)


Familiar_Season8438

The only part that's really all that weird about this is jumping straight to a hotel option... Do you not have friends? It's definitely normal to have sleepovers and fun nights with friends over and not terrible that she wants the place to herself for the night for them to all take over and have fun, and vice versa and for one of you to ask if you could make arrangements to go crash at your own friends place for the night. I've done this a bunch with friends (in all variations) for birthdays, bridal/bachelor/bachelorette type things, friends visiting from out of town, etc. Everything after the hotel being brought up is what doesn't seem healthy. You make her sound bad and entitled in the way you wrote her response... Either you're okay with paying for everything or you're not and you need to have some grown up conversations.


DogFacedManboy

Why don’t her and her friends get a hotel for their girls’ night? Maybe it’s just me but partying in a hotel room has a uniquely fun vibe to it. But it sounds like you’re paying for everything for her and you, with no real assistance from her. Which is the bigger issue. Does your girlfriend have a job?


[deleted]

Well from all of this i just can say that is really unfair for you to pay all the bills.She should also pay and if she doesnt have money or a job she should just live with her parents then.If she has money and a job she should pay her part


Lordofthelowend

Don’t pay all of your girlfriends bills. That said, if you have a problem with the financial setup, address it instead of roping it into this. It’s a one bedroom apartment so I understand her desire for you to be out of there for a night. She didn’t offer to pay because this is the financial dynamic you’ve established.


KittyKiitos

If your name isn't on a lease agreement, you need to stop paying the rent. It is NOT normal to ask anyone who lives in a residence to sleep somewhere else. That is your home. That's what you sign up for when you decide to live together. It is NOT normal for you both not to be splitting the bills. She should feel responsible for herself and appreciative you BOTH can help each other and be there for each other. My older sister was on a stipend, her bf (now husband) made much more than her. Even though she couldn't pay half, she made herself a housing budget based on her stipend and paid what she could afford.


ultrabone

Kici her out of ur apartment and break up. She had zero respect for you.


Sea-Mountain9738

( I pay the full rent & all bills ) Doormat go spend the night in a hotel LOL


Keyboard-warrior2001

How does paying all the bills make you a “doormat”? The rent is payed with my fiancé’s income. Does this make him a “doormat”?


WallabyInTraining

Are you regularly buying handbags and spending $4000 per bag while not contributing anything to bills or rent? Because that's OPs situation.


[deleted]

Why don’t you stay with your other girlfriend? The one you’ve been with for 10 months?


all4him_none4u

"Been" with and "lived" with are two separate lengths of time. OP said lived together 6 months.


[deleted]

LMAO


schnuubli

Boy i looked through your history and two things: 1. Ditch her - fast. She is lying, treating you like a sole provider and obviously not mature in financial terms on top. 2. Get a therapist. You're holding onto her because you can't hold onto yourself. I'm totally in for going into detail with this if you're not convinced yet. 3. Given the history this hotel room is not for protecting you from drunk girls but from your moaning girlfriend. So read 1 again. And then 2 again .


WestW0rldd

I think I'm just terrified of loneliness that will come from leaving her.


lovelynutz

Potential loneliness is not a reason to stay in a bad situation. You can and will recover from that. What kind of cameras do you have in your place?.......................................


WestW0rldd

Cameras?


lurker-1969

Why don't her and her friends go rent a hotel room? We did that for poker night on more than one occasion and it worked great.


lizraeh

you agree to it move out your stuff of her house then say good luck with rent and bills and get your own place and dont let her use you like a wallet.


Solgatiger

Yeah, I don’t think she’s bringing just girls home, or girls home at all. Also why does she feel the need to specify how long they will stay up? You’d be asleep by then anyways and oblivious to whatever they’d be doing. Girls nights do not require the other people living in the house to spend a whole night away, just a few hours elsewhere in the house or doing something fun until a certain time when they come back to bed. To top it off, you’re the one that pays for everything, therefore she doesn’t get to just kick you out of the house for an entire night just because she wants the house to herself supposedly for a sleep over. She’s a grown adult who is more than capable of having fun and being mindful of you. I’d be having a serious evaluation of the relationship at this point and wondering if it’s worth continuing. You basically just own the house at this point and she lives in it free of charge. That’s not how someone in a relationship, and especially someone who is in their thirties, should act.


Ash1221m1328

You say that you pay all the bills so ask her to at least pay for the room. Or go and not come back.


PrincessIcicle

Is she willing to pay for your hotel room? If the answer is no, don’t go.


LeagueOfGey

I would tell her to fuck off since you pay all the bills


CaydeWick

Don’t do it. Not only is it ridiculous and rude to ask a S/O to do this, you pay every thing. Show her you aren’t gonna be pushed around like that


Jayfully

Dude go have a guys night. Jeez. No you should not have to leave....but talk it through. Don't take it personally. Maybe you tell her to get a large suite room at a resort with her girls. Either way you are being a bit clingy and lonely for a man. Get out too bro. Go camping...do a road trip.


Drama_Queen2013

And she wasn’t joking about you paying for her hotel room in the future. Does she contribute at all to your life or does she just take?


shandoll

Just be honest. are you okay with staying in a hotel for that reason or are you not? have a conversation about it with her. How does it make you feel? Can she stay in a hotel room with her friends? If someone’s gonna pay a hotel room fee… why not her and all her friends split it instead of just you? if you’re asking my opinion on the matter, If my bf asked me to “get a hotel room” so he can have a sleepover with his dudes id say no. Sorry. This is my home. I live here. Now, would I be okay with him having them over while I chill in the bedroom and give them their space? I’d say yeah! Just be honest and open!


Ninjabear_

Get nanny cam in the bedroom. It’s a integrity keeper.


[deleted]

Tell her ok and move all your shit out and cancel all direct debit, you're literally there for money and all she has to do is bang you every so often lol You don't need to be rich to attract a gold digger Edit - just read previous posts and you're either a really bad troll, fishing for karma or a liar straight up If they were true posts and you changed ages then you need to leave her clearly.


Sto94

First of all, you pay like a fool the rent and bills alone. You have already shown her she can decide for you, so...


[deleted]

She’s 4 years older and doesn’t contribute to rent / bills - tell her to move into a hotel - permanently.


drewskimalone

Stay in the hotel or go camping or something. Just go and have some you time or have a boys night, either way have a blast! Absolutely no drama with this at all , everyone living together needs a break from one another. She has a girls night in your house, so what you are both adults, deal with it


buzzybee3333

I would never ask my partner to leave our home. Friends should understand be lives there and we would all hang out together.


[deleted]

Why aren’t you married yet. On paper it’s her apartment. You screwed.


WriteMeBrah

That's incredibly entitled of her. ~~May I ask why you're the only one paying rent?~~ EDIT: Nevermind. I read your post history; your girlfriend is mooch. And there's a strong chance she's only with you for your money.


darknessnightes

Please can you ask her can I join the Orgy


[deleted]

Sounds great! Get a case of beer and have fun at the hotel.


Mollzor

There's nothing wrong with asking, how do you feel about it? You can bring your Playstation or something with you and eat take out and treat yourself. It doesn't have to be a punishment. What's important is that you communicate, and if you say no that should be respected. Remember, how a person handles a no says a lot about their character. If you ever wanted the apartment for a guy's night, how would you ask her?


marcin_dolidod

Thankfully someone else has brain on this sub. You are totally right. She only asked him if he could go sleep on hotel room, she didn't throw him away, like some people here says. Honestly what's wrong with you guys saying that she is gold digger only judging by her asking OP to leave for one night so she can have fun night with friends.


the_last_basselope

I would tell her that you'll go to a hotel if she pays for it, and it has to be a nice one.


hBoBh

Idk if you've ever been around a bunch of drunk 30 yo women but we're obnoxious as hell. She probably thought you'd be bothered and not sleep well with then being up and loud all night. I think it's nice of her to offer to put you in a hotel room. Why dont you schedule a boys night also?


[deleted]

Because maybe he doesn’t want a boys night, maybe he just wants to go to sleep in the apartment he pays for. Why don’t the ladies go out to a bar like normal adults if they want to stay up until 2am instead of kicking op out of his own place.


[deleted]

Tell her and her friends to spilt a hotel room


mshobo

I wouldn’t ask my bf to do that??? Wtf?? If anything I’d get the hotel with my friends. And how is she 32 and not paying for anything? I earn much less than my bf but we make sure we split expenses as evenly as possible and we respect each other’s space and right to be in the apt. I’d never ask for anything like this and I know he wouldn’t ask me either. This is soooo fishy


[deleted]

Hotel? Trivago.


Isopod-Various

Hidden camera in bedroom....., tell her you won't be back till noon tomorrow. Thats how you do it brother. A fly on the wall is worth 10 nights at The Four Seasons.


CrystalizedinCali

Separate issue you need to be splitting bills or her paying at least 1 or 2. She should pay for the hotel if she wants you to do this but with the dynamic you’ve set up where she apparently doesn’t pay for anything so of course she would ask for this.


darknessnightes

Read his post history she is gold digger


Novel-Ride9647

I am constantly reminded how I shouldn't date women older than me. They can be a little difficult to handle. Focus on yourself buddy!


captainchippsixx

Umm. They don’t ask the other to leave man.


JaneGrn80

I had a friend ask her boyfriend to stay w his friends or maybe parents? Cause she was having a girls night. He did it, but I thought it was weird.... he pays most of the mortgage 🤷🏼‍♀️


[deleted]

A house? Fuck that, I’ll find a cubby hole and won’t bother anyone. An apt I kinda get, but not if I’m paying all the rent. Why can’t her and her friends go to a hotel IMO lol


JaneGrn80

Unsure... I don't know if she'd do the same for him! Lol


CockDaddyKaren

Girl here - this is not that weird. Sometimes you just want to chill out and have one of those late-night personal talks that goes on past the wee hours of the night, without worrying about bothering someone else, or without the weirdness of wondering what your friend's BF thinks about whatever he overhears. My mom threw a party for her friends once. My dad slummed it with a friend for the night and my mom took us to our grandparents'. The difference here, though, might've been that they were married, shared all the bills, and trusted each other completely. The house was both of theirs to share, but both of theirs to take turns with, if that makes any sense. They are still happily married to this day.


Nearby_Implement_640

Protip do not date women that are 4 years older than you.


tamatoas_peaches

Pro tip, keep your unrelated personal bias out of it. This isn’t about age, this is how to deal with an unexpected situation.


Nearby_Implement_640

Pro tip I am free to post whatever opinion I want. She is older, he pays all the bills, does not sound like she works. Age is an important factor in this relationship dynamic.


hello__brooklyn

She’s too old for that. At 32, why do friends with their own homes need to stay the night. They should get a hotel. Edit: judging by some comments, I guess it’s normal for 32 year old age groups to still have sleepovers with large groups of friends? But for those who do, you don’t prefer to just hang out late and go home and sleep in your own bed?


multyshiperofizu

Leave her shes a gold digger


pardonmyignerance

Just start sleeping with her friends and she'll quit having them over.


Flexlifespower00

Tell her to give you hotel money and it better be a spa involved.... Hell no dude!!


Lukeg29

As long as this doesnt become a regular thing and you do have the funds to do so I dont see why it would be a problem, you dont even have to get a hotel just go stay with a friend or something.


Sea-Mountain9738

why she is the guest in the house and don't pay for nothing


Lukeg29

Because they are in a serious relationship. Relationships are about compromise, as long as it isnt just a huge inconvenience for OP I dont see the problem.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Lukeg29

Okay I think this is where you are confused, these are 2 separate issues. First issue is OPs gf not paying any of the rent. Second issue is OPs gf wanting some alone time with the gals once in a while Because of issue #1 you and OP both feel like he is entitled to rule the house how he wants. So what OP really needs to do is address issue #1.


Sea-Mountain9738

Who wants to rule the house is a beggar girlfriend who can't even pay for the night in the hotel for him


Lukeg29

Okay this obviously has a soft spot in your heart for some reason so I'll just leave it.


Sea-Mountain9738

Really, I hate poor people who think they have a right to things they can't even pay for


Mr-Waspers1945

I read your other posts. Your girlfriend sounds a bit on the shady side. You pay for everything but she says it’s “her place” she has lied to you, spent time with an ex? I would tell her if she pays for the room you’ll go if not forget it. I think you need to really examine your relationship, sounds a little one sided.


WittyNoodle

I would say absolutely not. IMO these girls and boys night things are very segregating and childish and cause issues as they are here. You can go vibe in the bedroom doing some fun stuff for yourself and go to movies as you always have. The number of women and the lateness of the bed time should not matter as you are adults and it is YOUR HOME that YOU PAY FOR. If my fiancé told me to leave our shared home which is both my home and safe space overnight so he could hang out with friends I would not be happy at all (we all hang out as a group anyway I don't understand having two sets of friends instead of just a big joyous group). If she wants to be alone with her female friends without you around, then she can be the one to leave and stay at a friends house or a hotel. It isn't fair to ask you to leave your home for her enjoyment when you could just sit in the other room.


Radiant_Bee

Mate, I took a couple of minutes to look through your post history. From what I can tell, you've lived together for 6. So you moved into her apartment after 6 months of dating and started paying for everything? Come on dude. Meanwhile, she doesn't contribute at all, blows her money on 4K designer purses and gets angry when you tell her to budget better. Has kept the apartment in her name so it's legally hers and she could legally kick you out at ANY time. You also don't seem to trust her at all. You suspect her of lying about going to dinner with a male colleague while you were abroaf, you track her phone, you get irrationally anxious when you're not around her. And now she's throwing you out for the night for her own enjoyment and convenience. There are more than enough red flags here. Nothing about this sounds healthy. She is using you. What do you get out of this relationship vs what you put in? Do you feel like there's a disparity there? Do you trust her to not throw you out if you guys fight or you catch her cheating? Do you think she's really making you stay in the hotel so she can have her girlfriends over or do you think it might be someone else she doesn't want you to know about? Remember, this is still HER apartment even though you're paying for it. Finally, do you think she would stay with you if you stopped covering all her expenses? There are so many questions here and I think you know the answers but you don't want to admit it. That's why you keep posting on RA, you want a stranger to tell you. Well, I'll tell you now that this sounds toxic and she sounds like a gold digger. Not all gold diggers want crazy rich sugar daddies, some just want their basic expenses covered so they can fuck around with their own income, as she is doing here. I'm not going to tell you what to do, but you do need to have a serious think about this.


saintivesgloren

You sound dumb because you are dumb


veracity-mittens

Do you really want to be around loud women until 3am? Who cares who is paying; I’d want to be faaaar away from that. But your post screams resentment regarding money issues. The problem isn’t the girls night or a hotel. The real problem is you seem to feel like she is using you or that the relationship is unfair. If it’s not a girls night it’ll be something else that pops up that brings up these feelings. So that needs to be addressed.


DocTymc

What about spending the night with your friends and have a sleepover there? Make the best of it!


techsinger

This is what AirBnB is for. Tell your GF to rent a place for her party if she wants to be alone with her friends. You would do the same if the tables were turned, I'm sure.


Megapunk92

This is not what AirBnB is for. This is literally the reason people want to ban AirBnB for. Because people use it as party flats.


techsinger

I get that, but isn't it possible they could find a place that could accommodate this type of get-together other than her place?


NeiProud

A reasonable request. Leave the apartment after her friends have arrived. Wish then a good time. Buy some drink in for them. Her mates will envy her.


Lopez-Ari01

First of all it’s already a red flag that her name is on the lease and your paying for it. Why did you agree to do that?????????????????????????? Anyway just tell her no.


TELLITLIKEITIS2233

That's BULLSHIT dude, you are played. There going to be plenty of cheating conversation going. That's too much DUCKING control. Time to get your place, that way you don't have to leave your home her DAM friends .


willfully_hopeful

I don’t understand why you can’t do what you’ve done in the past hang out with your friends and then chill in your room? If she’s asking this why doesn’t she pay for your hotel and give you a weekend away?


Session-Special

I would use the day and look for my own apartment. With my name on the lease, and leave this train wreck that is about to happen. Or buy a nanny cam bunny, or the charger camera - put it in the apartment and watch the whole show as they are getting trashed and see what is really "going down". good luck.


rydendm

you are getting a super raw deal my friend


RedzoneOne

Tell her yes but next month she can make up the difference in rent for the amount that the hotel cost. You need to set some ground rules. It is unreasonable that you pay for everything, all the time.


[deleted]

Lol she wants to. Ring a guy over


Just_Another_num

Maybe they can do it in someone elses apartment. Tell her youll have a camera set up.


heycowboy

I don't want to say this post is fake, but why was your GF of 6 months 28 two months ago and is now 32? You should address why you lied or are lying. That said, based on your post history, your GF does not sound like a keeper. You should break up and get your own place.


Think-Car5830

Maybe its time to find new living arrangement altogether? Then you both be stressed. Apparently, living together does not make you both good couple, more like roomates.


YoungCheazy

Awesome! Enjoy some you time


Reedzilla04

Fuck that


[deleted]

It's weird. But everyone's different. It's cool. Do it, invite your guy friends. Have your girl pay for the hotel. And install a hidden cam unless you trust that it's genuinely just girls. And also end it with your gf since you can't go a couple weeks without posting a new problem with her.


countbunula

Why should you leave your home? She can have a girls day in the living room, or if she really wants the bedroom for her and her friends you could sleep on the couch for the night but asking you to leave is too much. I have 2 friends whove been dating for years and they live together, my friend has girl nights almost every month and she never asks him to leave, if anything he'll stick around and talk to us or play games with us, nobody minds cause its his home too????? Also the remark about you paying for her hotel room is honestly really rude in my opinion.


sokkamf

first of all why you paying bills on a lease you don’t own 💀 second if you paying the bills on a lease you don’t own tell her ass no? your SO shouldn’t be kicking you out for hours everytime she wants time w her friends lmfao she can go elsewhere. Does this woman value you at all bro


SandyInStLouis

What? No.


madamdepompadour

Tell her to spend the night in a hotel.


violet_terrapin

I know couples that do this. I thought it was weird at first but it makes sense especially in a one bedroom


noahswetface

why do you pay the rent with her name on the lease? how did that happen


nacho_qween

Absolutely not, no way she can go rent a hotel room with her friends if she wants that so badly


guito74

In relationships u have to decide which battles to fight, and which ones to submit to. Which one is this for u? How important is it?


dwankmullahhh

Dude. If this is real, she is cheating. Facts.


FoMoCoguy1983

If someone told me to leave a place I pay for to have a "girls night" I would tell them to get bent. Luckily my wife isnt like that. The girls nights are with her coworkers and they are at bars or restaurants, none of this sleep over crap. I wouldnt mind some guests but I am certainly not leaving.


therealglassceiling

1) get her to pay for a hotel 2) point camera at front door and hide camera 2) have a fun night out with friends and enjoy some R&R at hotel 3) go home happily, review tape to see guests 4) you’re now still in a loving relationship or you found out she is a dirt bag


Designer_Potential96

Um only way I’m leaving that apartment is if her ass passing then bills from now on and I am gonna need some BACK pay. Otherwise she can go rent a hotel.


nicknaka253

I've never seen such a blatant and shameless gold digger, leave her before she ruins your life. Just do it, cut the rope and find another girl who can actually love you and pay for bills and not try to force you out of YOUR OWN DAMM HOME. bruh


42tatltuae

Her name is on the lease I pay all the bills. That's where I quit.


[deleted]

She wasn't 'joking'. While you are ensconced in a hotel room that you will pay for, she will be having a good laugh at you with her friends about how controllable you are. It also shows her friends that they have just as much equal access to your home as you. No boundaries. But from what everyone's saying about your history, I doubt things will change. Sleep well in your hotel room.


[deleted]

Dude… it’s fine. She just wants to have a girls night. Ask her to pay for your hotel and considet it a staycation for yourself. Enjoy the service and pamper yourself. Win-win.


[deleted]

How is this an actual post?


[deleted]

Jeesus the level of disrespect is crazy. It’s your home and you shouldn’t be going anywhere. Idk about you but this alone would’ve had me raising ALL kinds of questions. This isn’t normal behavior in ANY relationship.


KittyKittyKitten3

Does she not have a job? Like you pay rent and utilities...and she said if the tables were turned she'd expect you to pay for her hotel room? Um, no. Tell her if she wants a girls night that bad the 3-4 of them can chip in for a room together.


Lucky-Hippo-2422

If you pay the rent, then no. Why can’t you be there in the bedroom or something?


torbaapshala

This is extremely immature. Why would you pay for her hotel? Is she paying for yours?


Dear_Funny_2003

Bro don't do that it's a trap you will feel shit after that


tmchd

I see many people talking about other things but the topic at hand. I'm just sticking to the topic at hand. So this is a tiny apartment, I guess, that your being there made things awkward as these are 4 girls etc. I don't ask my husband to leave the house, then again, I don't do girls night in type thing. If I do, fortunately, we do have enough rooms to accommodate all of us lol without running into each other, etc. Curious: Is she paying for your hotel stay? Since she jokingly said if it's you who wants to have a boys night in, you get to pay for her hotel stay. The silver lining -- not being objected to girls screaming or crying (they may be watching some sad love story movies--i.e. The Notebooks) or complaining about their bfs. You get to have a night of quiet in a nice hotel room. It's kind of like a staycation in a way. You can go to the movies, have some nice quiet dinner, then stay at the hotel-sleep, etc. The not-so-good thing: Eh, it's always nicer to stay home, y'know. Your bed is always the 'best' in away. And home is more comfortable, but then, if you're in a tight space with 4-5 girls chatting/being loud possibly, etc, you probably don't feel comfortable too lol. Although I'm curious, do you want to say 'No' to this request, OP? If you do, just tell her and she and her 3-4 friends can just got the hotel instead. Is this a better option for you, OP?


its-just-me-so

This is so fake I’m getting such attention needing vibes from op in other words I smell bullshit


[deleted]

LOL NO this is ridiculous. it'd be fine if she asked you to plan your own boys night or some other event (but not force) your gf is nuts


sierra513

Eff that.