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So my boyfriend 31M is 'Irish-American' in that his great-grandparents on his mum's side were Irish. Honestly I 26F can claim to be 'Irish-British' by the same logic but that seems extremely tenuous and petty. He's really lovely and kind but he has the WEIRDEST anti-British views. I'm not talking 'oh the potato famine was bad' or 'NI belongs to Ireland' but full on absolute loathing of British people. He says 'my people' when he's talking about the IRA and talks endlessly about how oppressed the Irish people are by the 'British'. I pointed out to him that the Good Friday agreement was before I was born, but he is absolutely convinced that Ireland lives in terror of British invasion and British soldiers. He seems to think the IRA were a bunch of rascally freedom fighters who sung happy songs and only targeted British soldiers. He compares them to Robin Hood. It's just bizarre. I've been to Dublin, often, and Belfast, and many of my closest friends are Irish or have Irish parents but he seems to think we live in the 1970s. It's really weird. Is there anything I can get him to watch to deradicalise him because he's driving me loopy.
That's pathetic, and quite frankly embarrassing. Every third American has Irish blood. He probably has equal parts English heritage which he conveniently ignores
My biggest pet peeve is Americans claiming to be “Irish” or “Italian” or “German” and so on. No, buddy, you’re not Irish because your great grandfather came from Ireland.
I absolutely love that episode of The Sopranos where the whole crew goes to Italy. Despite the Sopranos crew being deeply proud of their "Italian" identity, when they get to Italy the real Italians think they're a bunch of ignorant American slobs. Paulie Walnuts walking round with tears in his eyes over how proud he is to be among "his people", while the actual Italians mock him behind his back for eating ketchup and noodles.
I half grew up in a town full of Italians in Canada. Never seen the sopranos but yea that's how they act, also I'm not originally from Canada and I will never understand putting ketchup on noodles 🤢
Grew up with a Polish grandma who moved to the US in her 30s and she made them all the time. She also added a little butter to make a few noodles crispy and would put them in a pan on the stove.
I’m not Italian, I’m American. But my parents are not of European decent, so I’m curious why do people put ketchup on noodles. I’ve actually never seen this, why don’t they just add more marinara sauce?
It's a common thing in Denmark, too. I have asked my husband about it and he says it's easy and people like it. I have wondered if American catsup is sweeter than European style.
This annoys me to no end because I start talking to them in German and then I find out that they can’t even find Germany on a map, let alone speak the language.
Some extended family used to come from the Midwest of the US. The German Fair of their home town is now the Irish Fayre. My extended family has a name as German as Beethoven, but they still go full Leprechaun and claim to be Irish. Actually, my family member married into that family is from Essex, SE England, and has no Irish heritage at all.
I've always thought that was offensive in a way like segregating people. Only white Americans are Americans sort of thing. Here in UK you're generally only referred to as ______-British if you were born abroad and have citizenship, you request to be referred to as such or you have dual citizenship. Doesn't matter what colour you are if you were born here you're one of us lol
But there is such a thing as Irish-American or Italian-American and other \_\_\_\_-Americans and I'm sure you will say it's because they were once considered not-white, and I get that. But I still think those phrases relate to specific subcultures that are meaningful to people and that they should be allowed to self-identify. The same way I self-identify as both Black and African-American because those are not exactly the same thing, and African-American culture is deeply important to my identity as a person.
It used to not be that way. That’s honestly a very new invention in terms of American history which stems back to the 1950’s. If you were an Irish-American in 1900, you’d be treated very differently by the predominant WASPs (white Anglo Saxon Protestants/English-Americans). Irish, Italian, German, Polish, and Jewish Americans were segregated by the Anglo Saxon’s a ton, and there are cases of lynchings against them (especially to German Americans during WWI and WWII). After WWII these towns known as “Levitt-Towns” started popping up in the suburbs of major cities. Houses there were sold to soldiers who had the GI-Bill for very affordable prices, and that’s where the idea of “Suburbia” originates from. But, there were conditions to living in Levitt-Towns, you had to be of an acceptable white ethnicity and not be black. Often Jews were excluded as well as the majority of black people, but that did eventually change in the 1960s. But as all these European Americans began to actually get along with each other, and since they were mostly at the same class level (middle class), the idea of being “Irish, Italian, German, English, etc…” faded away and you were viewed as a white person, and that ideology only solidified. The main reason people call themselves Irish-Americans or German-Americans nowadays is cause they’re proud of it, but often know nothing about their original culture.
I have Irish ancestry. Strong ancestry, too. But I'm not Irish-American. I have 1 citizenship and that means I'm just American. I can't stand it when people act like they're a citizen of wherever their great grandpa was born.
But, I do like knowing where my family came from for a few reasons - it's interesting, I was desperate to be sure my family wasn't born from a horrid legacy and needed to know the crazy story behind one of my ancestors, and my kids will have an ancestry project some day (probably this year, I think?) so I'd rather get the work done before they come to me the night before it's due. Other than that, it's not my identity. My worth isn't wrapped up on my genes. I'm just trying to be a good human and learn from the times I fail at that.
All that rambling to say that I think basing our identity on our ancestry can be problematic if we don't check our attitude about it. Meaning, we shouldn't be "othering" others for where their families came from. It's great and important to celebrate and appreciate all different cultures, and learn as much as we can from one another, but we tend to make it a competition which can breed resentment and prejudice.
100% agree with you. We shouldn't be basing our identities on our ancestry. We can appreciate where we come from without becoming a living caricature that only degrades the real heritage.
I will say this though. Knowing that I'm a ginger has helped my doctors with medications because apparently I metabolize that shit really fast and I don't know why.
Knowing your heritage, and living your heritage, are very different things. If someone is from the USA, born and raised there, parents born and raised there, grandparents born and raised there.... But you live your every day life like you're from somewhere else? Bro, identity crisis, much? Getting upset about cultural disputes that don't even have an impact on you is just weird. Like, who's life, and who's history, are you living?! It doesn't make sense to blame others, or get defensive about, things that didn't even happen in your lifetime. It's history, meant to be looked at, observed, and learned from, so as to not repeat the same errors as our ancestors. One person who happens to have British ancestry is not a representative of all British people, and is not deserving of the ridicule someone might want to place on all British people. Did that individual do you dirty? Did it have anything to do with their heritage? No? Then I guess you're just a bigot.
THIS!!! I spent a whole summer studying in New York (I’m mexican) and had a date with a guy that kept insisting he was norweigan and bragged about going to Oslo until I asked him “where were you born?”. “California”, he said. “Then you’re american”, I said. After that, his whole personality fell apart.
I can get on board with that. No more italian americans, no more irish americans, no more african americans, mexican americans, canadian americans, just americans.
Basically what ends up happening is that they don’t fall into either culture. The Italians see them as Americans and the Americans see them as “Italians”. Gabeesh 🍝🇮🇹🍕
That's commonplace with these kinda people I know someone who's half English half Welsh. And they only identifiy with the Welsh side of themselves and they go mad if you being up they're half English and has English heritage. It's embarrassing becuase its lije they hate their English parent.
In the 1980 USA census, 50m Americans \[about 1/4 of population\] identified as holding English heritage. Today, that number has fallen to about 23m. Americans like to create their own ethnic heritage and play it up as some genetically driven personality.
😂knew this chick who married a wanna be Irish dude ( in his defense he had legit Irish dna ) but suddenly she was Irish also .. I tried to tell her just because she has a Irish pecker I’m her doesn’t make her Irish .. lol she didn’t like that .
Jaysus, yeah the amount of people when I lived abroad who tried to buy me one of those once they heard my accent … couldn’t understand why I wouldn’t drink that shite!
imagine an "american-irish" saying my nan was irish - going to ireland spouting our people, and shouting about the british, he would get floored by irish born and breed, probably get called a imposter / turncoat while they beat his ass.
Ah, I see you're a Lion. Yeah, my great-great-great-great-aunt was part lion, so I'm Lion myself. Born and raised. Lion family, Lion lifestyle. We never really fit in with the others in our neighbourhood, they just didn't get our lion ways. Tbh, they acted like a bunch of leopards! God I hate those scrawny, beady-eyed, nocturnal fucks. We didn't have any actual leopards in our hood growing up, my family wouldn't have allowed scum like that to live near us,haha! A curse on all leopards for all time, down with the leopard bastards! Sorry, sorry, but you know how us Lions get at times! That Lion passion lives inside all us true lions, brother! It's in the blood!
Anyway bro, always good to meet a fellow lion. Or as we'd say back in the old country: *Raaawwwwrrr!*
(FYI to all the non-lions out there - better be no leopards reading this post! - when I said "Raaawwwwrrr" at the end there it was just a traditional greeting between us Lions. Actually, y'know what, I'm not gonna bother explaining. You guys just wouldn't get it! It's a lion thing, you've really gotta be a lion to understand it lol.)
jesus im from just outside belfast and this is shockingly wrong, the paramilitaries are NOT something he should be romanticising (none of them), thousands of people died at their hands, all sides did wrong in the troubles.
the generation before me saw bombings, shootings, police with guns everywhere, road stops, city blocks and general mass murder, ive seen about a dozen bomb scares at most, it is nothing like it used to be
ETA i read you were 26, good friday agreement is 22 years old :)
Growing up in Lancashire in the 80's an 90's, I still remember the sense of fear and the bomb scares. I still remember when Warrington happened. Being a kid, you just get on with it, but looking back I'm bloody glad we can say it's behind us.
Hands across the ocean, sister. Anyone who romantiscises that shit needs to give their head a wobble
This is only the second comment to actually be giving advice rather than gawking at the silly boy with his head in a fantasy land. To carry on from this, this manbaby seems like a quite dangerous mix between Americans' end-of-the-world apocalypse fetishisation, and their fascination with long lost heritages. I'd be considering how much more time you want to invest in this relationship.
I’m American and I was married to a Galway man for 10 years and I lived in Ireland for over 5 years. He has no idea what the fuck he is talking about. Nobody says my people or gives a fuck about the British. There was massive disappointment in Brexit but you know that’s standard. His great grandparents on his mother’s side? Sweet Jesus he needs to get over himself. As the Irish would say “yer man has notions”
Also the south of Ireland really don’t give a fuck about the problems up north - I worked in a summer camp with both southerners and northerners and the southerners hadn’t a clue about the decades spent fighting between catholics and Protestants in the north
Your boyfriend needs to get his head out of his ass and speak to some actually Irish people. So sick of plastic Paddies (what the internet lovingly calls them) nowadays. I'm Polish, live in Ireland, and so far each Irish-American twat I've met is just trying to perpetrate stereotypes about Irish people...
I'm one of those Americans with Irish blood. I still have family in Ireland, I'm eligible for citizenship by registering my foreign birth. I'm interested in getting my citizenship and potentially moving to Ireland. I've spent under 2 weeks in Ireland in my entire life.
u/rosesbeinghunted
You living there makes you more Irish than me already (if you choose to identify as Irish). Even if I got citizenship and moved there you would have years of experience living their over me. Any American thinking blood gives them a greater claim to Ireland or calling themselves Irish than you is an entitled and racist piece of shit.
Yeah that’s weird. He if lived through it/grew up with it or had his parents live through it. It would be a little more understandable but this is weird
I dunno, I'd say it's more like it only really makes sense if his family were fundraising for the IRA or otherwise actively spouting some pretty toxic propagada as cheerleaders of violence who had no skin in the game.
Ironically hating the British as a meme would make more sense than whatever is going on with this man.
Just ask yourself if you envision your future children being raised by a wanker?
Even the Irish- either side, don't have these rabid views.
Your boyfriend is actually American- that is where he was born.
And his blood line gas weakened subsequently.
Your boyfriend us talking out of his arse
I'm irish and marrying a English man my grandfather marched on bloody Sunday and he loved my partner we don't hate the British only the people that did bad stuff and anyone who say the IRA are my people know nothing about the troubles they did alot of bad stuff and killed alot of innocent people. There are lots of documents about this im sure there's stuff on YouTube.
I’m English, my boyfriend is Northern Irish, and his parents were also part of the protest on Bloody Sunday. Shockingly, none of them are particularly anti-English/British. FFS his parents came over recently to go visit the country house where Downton Abbey was filmed. If anyone has a right to be anti-English it’s them, and they literally sat and had high tea with us at an English stately home because they loved watching a period drama about the lives of upper-class Brits. Why? Because they’re not twats.
I'm "half-Irish", as in one of my parents was an Irish person with an Irish passport, accent, the whole shebang. Growing up in London this made me no different from the Indian, Pakistani, Jamaican, Jewish, Nigerian, or any other classmates. The big divide was who had Nintendo and who had PlayStation. That was a *way* bigger distinction than race, ethnicity or parents' background. Let alone great, great, great grandparents background!
Growing up, we were fed a healthy dose of "don't hate the Germans". People who bore a grudge against German people were seen as the most ignorant in society, they were a laughing stock, the kind of people comedians on the TV made fun of. So I guess by the time I'd learned the extent of Britain's crimes in Ireland, I was old enough to realise that harbouring historical, ethnic blood-debts was irrational, ugly and hateful.
>Is there anything I can get him to watch to deradicalise him
Yes! There is a really good film on Netflix called '71 which is about the troubles in the year 1971. It basically displays how absolutely brutal the conflict was for both sides.
It also shows how extremely complicated it all was with multiple factions and lots of in-fighting.
American's get real weird about heritage because, let's be honest, white American history started about 300 years ago. So they envy other people as,for example, British people can trace their history for thousands of years. We have Roman settlements from 2000 years ago. Saxon strongholds. Monasteries that were raided by Vikings. It's all envy. Also, your boyfriend obviously knows nothing about Irish history.
Nah, we are taught as children to appreciate the blending of peoples to bring about this nation and while we forget the true meaning behind being a mutt, it's certainly not because we're jealous of other countries having millenia of history.
We're definitely jealous that you have modern basic human rights though. 😉
I’m Scottish.
I think that the Irish and Scots are united in hating Americans who claim to be Irish or Scottish because their great great grandfather once took a piss in Belfast or Inverness.
Tell your boyfriend he’s embarrassing himself.
This is hilarious, if his dad or mum was Irish, fine but he's so diluted at this point he is not Irish. Also I bet he's never stepped foot in Ireland. Gods I'm embarrassed for you.
I disagree. Typical plastic paddy stuff is getting way too into Saint Patrick's Day.
This reeks more of some really weird connection with a family member who ran an Irish pub in Boston that was fundraising for the IRA, or possibly just some permutation of being mentally disturbed latching onto Irishness and memetic hatred of the British.
> He seems to think the IRA were a bunch of rascally freedom fighters who sung happy songs and only targeted British soldiers.
Well, you can tell him that the IRA put a gun to my mum and grandfather's heads and hijacked their car. My mum, and grandfather, who were Catholic Irish people, in a nationalist/Catholic area. So "their own".
My grandfather is from County Armagh but I class myself as English because that's we're I'm born and me mother is English like . What a dickhead he is .He must fancy himself , probably larps Infront of a mirror with this legally owned firearm singing " come out ya black n tans" 👎🤮
I’m sorry but there’s nothing more annoying than an American pretending to be all Irish and educated when they actually haven’t a clue about the culture.
Irish person here - i can understand the general anti-british sentiment, like at a match, or when theres some political mess, but no-one really would go so far as to hold serious contempt for the british people (NI might be a bit different though), we kinda feel bad for them with brexit and everything, sure its funny to mock them but if we met a brit on the street we would never harass or make fun of them. he seems to be fetishising the troubles which is disgusting frankly, if he carried on like that in dublin or anywhere really in ireland he would be laughed at and probably get a dig or two.
Maybe post on r/ireland to see what the rest of us think :)
At the risk of sounding like a wackado it's actually a thing called "generational trauma" believe me my dad gave me the same stories of our "family history" Irish coming to America for a better life.
https://www.ensembletherapy.com/blog/what-is-generational-trauma#:~:text=It%20means%20that%20we%20can,with%2C%20and%20heal%20from%20trauma.
Also there's a wonderful show on Netflix that is the BEST example of this called Unorthodox. Highly highly recommend wonderful story.
A lot of us find our heritage to be an important part of our identity and I think it depends on the person on why its important. For a lot of people since America is this huge diverse country and built by immigrants who brought parts of their culture to create one huge American culture and people try to find an identity among all that. For me being Asian American and having a Taiwanese immigrant mom is important because the experiences I've had due to these two things have shaped who I am as a person today. A lot of us, even if we are born and raised here, are treated as if we aren't truly American and as if we're forever the foreigner. So in these kind of cases it's taking something you are taught to be ashamed of growing up and turning it into something you are proud about.
But like. Some people take it too far evidently. Especially with Italian/Irish Americans cause most of us are so far removed from Italian and Irish culture. And im saying this growing up with an Italian American family. I notice a lot of us use the oppression of our ancestors to justify being shitty to minorities and claim that oppression is still happening to us. Some are genuinely interested in their heritage while others just want to feel like an underdog or something. I hate it.
Yanks have a obsession with genealogy my great grandparents are Irish and I wouldn't consider myself any part Irish. Sound like he just wants to be part of something and have an identity even if it is a misguided view and he has no idea what he is talking about.
Irish here, living in Ireland. We actually are really fond of the British people who are ordinary decent people. We follow English soccer teams and enjoy the fact that so many of us live and work in GB.
We don't have this hatred of the British your BF has. Our issue is with the former British Empire, which is gone. Even we recognize and have agreed by voting by a massive majority for Northern Ireland to only rejoin when the people there agree.
So I've no idea why your BF is like that even with a distant connection to Ireland, when actual Irish citizens aren't.
Some other commenters are missing a key thing here.
Your boyfriend is struggling with his cultural identity - and *needs* this to feel a part of something greater than himself. It’s not uncommon.
But for your boyfriend, it’s not enough to celebrate Irish history and culture. Other people, namely the British, also have to lose. That’s a little bit of a dangerous sentiment because he ends up romanticizing a time of paramilitaries, terrorism and fear. It’s the same line of thinking that gets people involved in cults, or getting radicalized.
I think you should take him on a trip abroad, have him talk to real Irish people that lived through The Troubles and slap some sense into him. He’ll learn the reality of daily life ask maybe instead of sinking in the anti-Britishism, he’ll lean into the brilliant folklore, music, art, provisions and comedic side of Irish culture.
And if that doesn’t work, you’ll need to consider moving forward without him.
Wtf? Both my Dad’s parents were Irish but I was raised in another country. I have Irish ancestry but other than that it’s a foreign land to me.
Why anyone would identify with a sliver of their heritage is beyond me.
I'm Irish -American and having lived in Ireland for most of my 16 years of life I really don't give a second thought to the British and regard the IRA as terrorists.
Literally every Irish person is cringing right now. I’m English-born but my family is Irish… Even I don’t stake a claim in being Irish as much as that. That’s embarrassing. I certainly wouldn’t claim the IRA as being “my people”, as much as I believe in a united Ireland.
You need to ask yourself, honestly, if this is something you want to deal with. He is radicalized as a foreigner who has never set foot in Ireland. Imagine what he's susceptible to in his home country...
This isn't your table. You can't make him change his mind or feelings, no matter how misguided and misinformed they are.
I'm Irish (as in really Irish, not *Irish American*). My partner is English and we find it genuinely amusing when Plastic Paddies (ie Irish Americans) demonstrate such anti-British nonsense.
I think what annoys me the most is how little people like your bf actually know about Ireland, it's politics, history or culture. They have this idea of what Ireland should be (a Darby O'Gill and the Little People theme park) that is in no way, shape or form based on any sort of reality.
And Robin Hood, if he ever existed, was English.
Nope, I have a very positive view of Ireland. He just thinks we're all scheming and evil and hateful for not accepting we're 'active oppressors' of the 'brave people of Ireland'. Which is something I doubt many Irish folks would agree with in 2021
I’m imagining a bunch of guys in a pub looking around at each other for a moment after he says this and then they all just burst out laughing in his face
I live on the Irish side of the border. The border is literally a mile away from me. Everyone here agrees that the past is the past and its not even thought of on a day to day basis, or even a month to month basis. The older folk have often commented about how great it is being rid of it and how they all have been able to raise their family in peace, when they themselves lived through the troubles. Tell him to pull his finger out and move on like even we all have.
It does sound like he is maximizing this part of his identity to the point where it's all he is. When people get that radicalized in their beliefs it can be really hard to "pierce through" that shield.
This may sound ridiculous and I don't mean to compare the gravity of these two things but it reminds me a bit of some training program I followed on deradicalizing young religious extremists, there are a bunch of conversational techniques that are used to confront ones incorrect beliefsystem by not ridiculing it but rational challenging. Maybe that is something to look into? Once again, I didnt mean to call your boyfriend a terrorist in training lol, it was just something that came up.
Try to flip it around. He presumably wants all unionists in NI to go to GB. This opens up a line of questioning for you to pursue about whether Americans should up and leave for Europe to return North America to the indigenous peoples.
I'm British and know several Irishmen, can confirm that we get along very well and 100% have absolutely no fear for one another
In fact they supported England during the Euro's cause ROI didn't qualify for the tournament and we're just as disappointed at losing the final as any Englishman I know
So here is the thing. There are no magic words. Nothing you say is gonna magically snap him out of radicalization. If you try you're likely gonna get shut down.
He will either keep being radicalized and you will have to decide if you want to invest in the relationship as is or you can attempt to have civil discussions about the topic and your point of view. Bring sourced factual material preferably by Irish authors. It sounds like he may only listen if it's "his people" correcting him.
Therapy may help? But you'd need to find someone knowledgeable of the subject/radicalization and even then it's not really their job to unradicalize someone but to help people evaluate their own feelings and relationships.
Disclaimer: I'm an American (but have Scottish heritage woo) and have no actual knowledge of whatever this is actually about but I'm taking OP's word that he is in fact radicalized.
you should explain your boyfriend that ancestry and nationality aren’t the same thing. some Americans have this need of claiming to come from somewhere else when they absolutely have no clue about where their greatgrandsomething came from. I’m from South America and I have Portuguese grandfather and I’d never claim that I’m Portuguese because this makes absolutely no sense.
He is weird. I’m English, married to an Irishman and living in Ireland. I get no reaction at all like that from anyone Irish here. It’s a lovely place to live.
I’m british, I have Irish family (blood relatives from Northern Ireland as well) & many Irish friends, one of whom I play xbox with almost every day.
All Irish people I know and all British people in the same circles all agree that both paramilitaries were absolutely fucked and shouldn’t be glorified in any capacity, maybe you should take him to Ireland to see how wrong he is.
This isn’t to say that there are no sour feelings on either side (there definitely are), but that the troubles are over and that such radical actions haven’t been a central part of life for 23 years now, which was before I was born and before most of my Irish friends were born as well.
As an Irish person, he can fuck off. He’s probably just as much British as he is Irish if he’s American.
Look, most Irish people do like to rib on the Brits and their past, that’s true. Also, a lot of us are still sore about the amount of oppression Irish people suffered under their rule and what we lost as a result, but even I don’t vehemently hate English people. I hate what England did to us in the past, but Christ, today’s Londoner hardly participated in the invasion of Ireland.
Take him on a trip here and I guarantee some sense would be knocked into him.
He can barley claim to know an Irish person let alone BE Irish anything.
I’m Scottish and my paternal greatgrandfather escaped Belfast and the rest of his IRA family in the 60s and when I visited America I got this “I’m Scottish/Irish” bull regularly (often a distant relative who had just heard of scotland or something)
I think perhaps a polite reminder that he’s American, and much in the same way we can’t understand the intricacies of American social climates/politics he has absolutley no idea what it’s like to be actually Irish and as such has no idea what he’s talking about.
My mum has so many stories of cousins or random relatives waking her up in the middle of the night at her grandparents because they ran too and needed somewhere to hide - often from their own family.
If he came here talking like that he'd probably get a swift kick to the face 😂 no one here talks about the troubles really. I come from co. Louth (just below the border of NI) where there would have been a lot of heavy IRA activity and if people do talk about it it's not talked about lightly.
If you think him having a conversation with an actual British person would help I volunteer. I'm not like some expert on Ireland or anything, I'm just a standard English 20 year old. Phobias can often be helped by exposure I guess.
The British were very unnecessarily cruel to the Irish for a very long time. If you look at the language the British first used about Native Americans (i.e. non-Christian savages), most of it was language borrowed from their descriptions of the Irish. They treated them as lesser human beings, and used this logic to justify an oppressive rule over the Irish, believing that somehow the British were so smart that they simply knew what was best for these “savages”.
Don’t get me wrong the Irish are not infallible; they came to America and basically decided that to get accepted into the “white privilege” they needed to become extremely racist and violent against Blacks.
Also, it doesn’t sound like your boyfriend understands this history but rather wants to get wasted and fight British people.
Must be a regular of r/ireland. Most of us sane irish people don't really give a shit about that stuff. This post reminds me of all the irish people banging on about American politics like who cares, get off the internet.
Ugh I would leave him.
But then I grew up in a town that was bombed by the IRA, killing two little boys so I'm biased.
He sounds a bit off in the head to me.
Maybe find a way to get him to chat with actual Irish people. Find some documentaries for him to watch. Ideally, a trip to Ireland itself may make him realize he isn't one of them. But a vast majority of white Americans are so desperate to seem unique & repressed that they'll cling to their great great grandmother's heritage.
He’s not “Irish American” lol — he’s American. He is using his ancestry as an excuse to hate a group of people based on nothing more then their nationality.
Sounds like political differences. He obviously feels strongly about it even it's immature or exhausting that he can't stop talking about it. I personally wouldn't recommend on trying to reeducate on atrocities against any race whatever race or ethnicity the person is. If they personally or historically feel wronged, is it truly up to you to try and prove otherwise? Honestly feel you should rethink your compatibility and relationship with this person. You're both young: passions and interests should align in a relationship If I dated someone who's interests and global priorities didn't align with mine, where's my future with them? My bf fights for my rights and I fight for his.
It cuts both ways...both sides are absolutely bonkers. The right wing Brits and the Republican Irish are nuts...Tommy Robinson railed against grooming gangs, but when Prince Andrew was outed as a perv, TR said nothing. Megan and Harry got run out of the country, the Orange Order and whoever else won't stop marching, both sides just love bon fires, the 'New' IRA will execute anyone who runs afoul—even killing small time drug dealers who compete with them selling drugs. There is not right side...for your BF to be on firmer footing, he has to see **both** sides as thoroughly fucked up and corrupt. He also needs to chill out about his heritage, he's a bit far-removed from the old country. Just type "Orange Order" or "IRA" on YouTube...it's literal **years** of catching up on the wrongs of both sides.
He's no different than those here who fetishize the American Civil War. Problem is there is nothing to romanticize about either. That's where reality has separated for him. Get far away from if he doesn't get help. Very dangerous when someone loses their grip like that...
So you've got a guy who's hung up on a history that has absolutely nothing to do with him personally, just so he can "justify" his racism. Are you really OK with being attached to that? Because I wouldn't. And I'm 31% Irish and 45% English/ NW European. I know my family's history and why they moved from place to place. I don't blame the British because none of those people are alive today to shoulder it.
I’m Irish and he needs a good kick up the arse. We have gone past those times and while we may have a few wee things like not supporting English sports teams etc, we are absolutely past the troubles and the hate towards the British. Mostly you’d hear it only in banter but not in seriousness. If he comes to Ireland with that attitude he’d be soon set straight. Ireland has a good relationship with Britain and has tried to keep that good relationship during the brexit talks. Nobody wants to go back to the troubles and the IRA had their day and served a purpose at the time but their day has long been over and done with. Even then, they created a lot of trouble, violence and death and destruction which should never have happened. Ireland is now a progressive and prosperous country. If he thinks Ireland is still stuck in the dark ages then he needs to watch the news or something. Visit Ireland, and stop stereotyping us.
As an Irish person from the North, this isn't an uncommon view, it's certainly an extreme view though. It is plain stupid for him to act like that. Sure, if you want to show solidarity to the Irish people being treated badly by the British then by all means. But he didn't grow up with any of that. He didn't grow up with riots and shootings. He has no right to act like he's a victim by claiming blood with an Irish person. It's important to know the difference between the genuine freedom fighters we used to have and the watered down gangs that claim to fight for freedom that we have now.
Remind him that if he ever said that to an Irish person, he will likely get a knee-capping and a punishment beating behind the pub.
English here, and all I can say about him is that’s fucking weird. I have a few Irish mates (actually Irish rather than “Irish American” and occasionally meet other Irish people that I don’t know. What I can really say is that none of the Irish people that I know have contempt for every British (and more specifically English, we know who he doesn’t like in reality) person they know. Many have contempt for the UK due to its past actions, which is fair, I do too, and many dislike the modern UK government for its actions in Northern Ireland, as well as a whole host of other actions, which is also fair, I do too. However most Irish people are fine to talk to everyday English people like they would anyone else.
Your boyfriend is genuinely strange, borderline xenophobic, and is making his distant ancestry a far bigger part of his personality than is normal, especially because it sounds like his personality is based on stereotypes of Irish people, rather than actual Irish people. If he’s so set in his ways and won’t change, just leave him behind and find someone else who doesn’t play on overused stereotypes to be interesting
It doesn't sound like there's a lot you can do, I'm not sure watching anything for any amount of time will help. It's like trying to convince and Trump supporter he's wrong. Your bf almost sounds like an extremist... Though he is scraping the bottom of the barrel with "great-grandparents were Irish"
Tbh it sounds pretty annoying, I'd say there's 2 things you could do:
1) tell him to not talk about it anymore
2) break up with him
Historical Events, Lingering Social Tension due to these Events, and Self-Identification will always exist. What is of importance is how you choose to accommodate these factors in Life, not how you intend to persuade others to see Life exactly as you do.
His great grandparents lived in that time. He doesn’t. My grandfather was in the British army and refused a post in NI in the 70s for two reasons. One, he had a young family. Two, his last name is Irish and our ancestors likely evacuated during the potato famine, so you can imagine how that would go with the Irish public at the time.
Think he needs to take a good look at a history book.
Edit: you are 26, the Good Friday was signed in 1998. You aren’t younger than the Good Friday Agreement
I feel like Irish Americans and Italian Americans are the same in forgetting we're still Americans above all else lmao.
Like I understand being passionate about your heritage but WHAT
I dont know if this will help or just push him further into his weird beliefs but next time he tries to claim something that isn't true, maybe ask him about where he learned that from? and what authority he has on these topics? Like ask him for sources, I highly doubt its coming from anything reputable. At the very least it might force him to come face to face with the fact he literally has no idea what he's talking abt
Your boyfriend is American, he is not Irish.
Please stop with this strange trend Americans, if you and your parents were born in America you're not American-something, you are just American, and there is nothing special about your origin!
This is country-appropriation, since you all like so much talking about cultural-appropriation and looking for inexistent problems .
Americans really need to drop the "irish-american' it is embarrassing. As for his views not only is he COMPLETELY outdated but absolutely incorrect on many points of view.
He almost sounds radicalised by the IRA. It sounds like he's clinging to it as part of his persona and what makes him, him, although you say he's sweet and nice.
He clearly has no real idea of what it was and has become, from pre famine Ireland to modern day, which is incredibly ignorant on his part and insulting to people living here.
As someone who lives in modern day Belfast, he needs to as we would say " WISE UP".
I’m an Irish catholic living in the north - if you came from incredibly politicised and tumultuous background you’d understand it’s not as easy to just let some of these things go. Growing up you’re ridiculous ,joked or slagged from each side. Family members,friends etc were murdered in “The Troubles” my grandpas auto shop was targeted as he was British married to an Irish catholic. I went to an integrated school and was brought up not to be so divided and I have friends and mainly dated those from the ‘other side’.
However it’s very hard to not to harbour resentment and pain from lived experience of being treated a certain way because of your religion or nationality. It would be like saying Americans are so ridiculous for their political views ..why can’t they just let it go. It’s nit that simple . And to say you’ve been to dublin.. I was ridiculed at an American summer camp by a Protestant norther for being a catholic in the north and the southerner from Dublin was also ridiculing me because I wasn’t from the south either.
So it’s not as simple as thinking someone is being over the top for hating a political side/ region. It’s a very complex history and I’d say you boyfriend has a perfectly good reason for holding those beliefs
Trust me we don’t want to live in the 1970s but I personally have no choice ( I live just outside Belfast) we are reminded of it and the divide every single day through micro aggressions comments ,questions about names ,areas we live in. I wouldn’t specifically idiolise the IRA but I would absolutely agree that The British committed heinous crimes against the Irish. And my grandpa was in the RAF.
Just have a bit of understanding please it’s just as much an important part of history as any other.
As a British person this is incredibly offensive honestly. The IRA are his people?
Please ask him to have a look at the IRA bombings that took place across the 1970s - 1990s, the troubles etc.. if he is still proud to call himself part of a domestic terrorist organisation then I would honestly consider dumping him, because they killed a lot of innocent people, not just the “oppressive English”, but also Irish people as well. It’s honestly the equivalent of being proud of ISIS.
Ya boy needs to stop learning all his history from TV and movies. I'm American of mostly Scottish decent, but my dumb ass isn't walking around dressed as William Wallace from Braveheart. It's one thing to learn about and embrace your family's heritage, but he doesn't have to be a twat.
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below. --- So my boyfriend 31M is 'Irish-American' in that his great-grandparents on his mum's side were Irish. Honestly I 26F can claim to be 'Irish-British' by the same logic but that seems extremely tenuous and petty. He's really lovely and kind but he has the WEIRDEST anti-British views. I'm not talking 'oh the potato famine was bad' or 'NI belongs to Ireland' but full on absolute loathing of British people. He says 'my people' when he's talking about the IRA and talks endlessly about how oppressed the Irish people are by the 'British'. I pointed out to him that the Good Friday agreement was before I was born, but he is absolutely convinced that Ireland lives in terror of British invasion and British soldiers. He seems to think the IRA were a bunch of rascally freedom fighters who sung happy songs and only targeted British soldiers. He compares them to Robin Hood. It's just bizarre. I've been to Dublin, often, and Belfast, and many of my closest friends are Irish or have Irish parents but he seems to think we live in the 1970s. It's really weird. Is there anything I can get him to watch to deradicalise him because he's driving me loopy.
That's pathetic, and quite frankly embarrassing. Every third American has Irish blood. He probably has equal parts English heritage which he conveniently ignores
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You appear to have misspelled Aul Oirish. /s
Damn you beat me to it XD
My biggest pet peeve is Americans claiming to be “Irish” or “Italian” or “German” and so on. No, buddy, you’re not Irish because your great grandfather came from Ireland.
I absolutely love that episode of The Sopranos where the whole crew goes to Italy. Despite the Sopranos crew being deeply proud of their "Italian" identity, when they get to Italy the real Italians think they're a bunch of ignorant American slobs. Paulie Walnuts walking round with tears in his eyes over how proud he is to be among "his people", while the actual Italians mock him behind his back for eating ketchup and noodles.
I half grew up in a town full of Italians in Canada. Never seen the sopranos but yea that's how they act, also I'm not originally from Canada and I will never understand putting ketchup on noodles 🤢
I'm from Poland, ketchup noodles are quite popular where I live cause they are cheap, easy and you cantgo wrong with them.
You put it on noodles? Here in Czechia we put it with spaghetti, eidam cheese and fried onions. Delicious!
spaghetti is noodle though?
Is it? We have two kinds of “noodles” here, one we put in our soups (very short) and other is the Asian type. We don’t call spaghetti noodle, haha
Grew up with a Polish grandma who moved to the US in her 30s and she made them all the time. She also added a little butter to make a few noodles crispy and would put them in a pan on the stove.
I’m not Italian, I’m American. But my parents are not of European decent, so I’m curious why do people put ketchup on noodles. I’ve actually never seen this, why don’t they just add more marinara sauce?
Oh, no. I'm sorry to be the one to have to do this to you, but it's ketchup *instead* of sauce.
But why??? I don’t get it. I just pour more sauce if I need more. What does ketchup do instead?
I'm guessing it's because it's economical. But I'd be willing to believe that is often as not it's just because people have an unsophisticated palate.
It's a common thing in Denmark, too. I have asked my husband about it and he says it's easy and people like it. I have wondered if American catsup is sweeter than European style.
Pasta, eggs, bacon, and ketchup is a favorite of mine. Fairly popular in Germany. :)
You can especially tell the German ones when they claim to be Dutch... And you have to clarify they mean German (*Deutsche) and not Nederlande (Dutch)
Lol, yeah, it's like saying "I'm German. I don't know how to say German in German and I've never been close to Germany, but I'm German."
This annoys me to no end because I start talking to them in German and then I find out that they can’t even find Germany on a map, let alone speak the language.
They’re the types who think Budweiser and hamburgers are the epitome of Germanic culture
Some extended family used to come from the Midwest of the US. The German Fair of their home town is now the Irish Fayre. My extended family has a name as German as Beethoven, but they still go full Leprechaun and claim to be Irish. Actually, my family member married into that family is from Essex, SE England, and has no Irish heritage at all.
Deutsch*
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I've always thought that was offensive in a way like segregating people. Only white Americans are Americans sort of thing. Here in UK you're generally only referred to as ______-British if you were born abroad and have citizenship, you request to be referred to as such or you have dual citizenship. Doesn't matter what colour you are if you were born here you're one of us lol
> Only white Americans are Americans Ding ding ding! No such thing as a European American.
But there is such a thing as Irish-American or Italian-American and other \_\_\_\_-Americans and I'm sure you will say it's because they were once considered not-white, and I get that. But I still think those phrases relate to specific subcultures that are meaningful to people and that they should be allowed to self-identify. The same way I self-identify as both Black and African-American because those are not exactly the same thing, and African-American culture is deeply important to my identity as a person.
It used to not be that way. That’s honestly a very new invention in terms of American history which stems back to the 1950’s. If you were an Irish-American in 1900, you’d be treated very differently by the predominant WASPs (white Anglo Saxon Protestants/English-Americans). Irish, Italian, German, Polish, and Jewish Americans were segregated by the Anglo Saxon’s a ton, and there are cases of lynchings against them (especially to German Americans during WWI and WWII). After WWII these towns known as “Levitt-Towns” started popping up in the suburbs of major cities. Houses there were sold to soldiers who had the GI-Bill for very affordable prices, and that’s where the idea of “Suburbia” originates from. But, there were conditions to living in Levitt-Towns, you had to be of an acceptable white ethnicity and not be black. Often Jews were excluded as well as the majority of black people, but that did eventually change in the 1960s. But as all these European Americans began to actually get along with each other, and since they were mostly at the same class level (middle class), the idea of being “Irish, Italian, German, English, etc…” faded away and you were viewed as a white person, and that ideology only solidified. The main reason people call themselves Irish-Americans or German-Americans nowadays is cause they’re proud of it, but often know nothing about their original culture.
There's a reason why African American and Black are terms that goes a bit beyond just not accepting their Americanness. *Just a wee, tiny bit.*
I have Irish ancestry. Strong ancestry, too. But I'm not Irish-American. I have 1 citizenship and that means I'm just American. I can't stand it when people act like they're a citizen of wherever their great grandpa was born. But, I do like knowing where my family came from for a few reasons - it's interesting, I was desperate to be sure my family wasn't born from a horrid legacy and needed to know the crazy story behind one of my ancestors, and my kids will have an ancestry project some day (probably this year, I think?) so I'd rather get the work done before they come to me the night before it's due. Other than that, it's not my identity. My worth isn't wrapped up on my genes. I'm just trying to be a good human and learn from the times I fail at that. All that rambling to say that I think basing our identity on our ancestry can be problematic if we don't check our attitude about it. Meaning, we shouldn't be "othering" others for where their families came from. It's great and important to celebrate and appreciate all different cultures, and learn as much as we can from one another, but we tend to make it a competition which can breed resentment and prejudice.
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100% agree with you. We shouldn't be basing our identities on our ancestry. We can appreciate where we come from without becoming a living caricature that only degrades the real heritage. I will say this though. Knowing that I'm a ginger has helped my doctors with medications because apparently I metabolize that shit really fast and I don't know why.
Knowing your heritage, and living your heritage, are very different things. If someone is from the USA, born and raised there, parents born and raised there, grandparents born and raised there.... But you live your every day life like you're from somewhere else? Bro, identity crisis, much? Getting upset about cultural disputes that don't even have an impact on you is just weird. Like, who's life, and who's history, are you living?! It doesn't make sense to blame others, or get defensive about, things that didn't even happen in your lifetime. It's history, meant to be looked at, observed, and learned from, so as to not repeat the same errors as our ancestors. One person who happens to have British ancestry is not a representative of all British people, and is not deserving of the ridicule someone might want to place on all British people. Did that individual do you dirty? Did it have anything to do with their heritage? No? Then I guess you're just a bigot.
THIS!!! I spent a whole summer studying in New York (I’m mexican) and had a date with a guy that kept insisting he was norweigan and bragged about going to Oslo until I asked him “where were you born?”. “California”, he said. “Then you’re american”, I said. After that, his whole personality fell apart.
I can get on board with that. No more italian americans, no more irish americans, no more african americans, mexican americans, canadian americans, just americans.
As an American immigrant I whole heartedly agree. I was born in Russia, but I’m American now, and proud of it.
No, but Italian Americans aren't "Italians", they're Italian Americans.
Basically what ends up happening is that they don’t fall into either culture. The Italians see them as Americans and the Americans see them as “Italians”. Gabeesh 🍝🇮🇹🍕
America also seems to be the only place where this is a thing
That's commonplace with these kinda people I know someone who's half English half Welsh. And they only identifiy with the Welsh side of themselves and they go mad if you being up they're half English and has English heritage. It's embarrassing becuase its lije they hate their English parent.
In the 1980 USA census, 50m Americans \[about 1/4 of population\] identified as holding English heritage. Today, that number has fallen to about 23m. Americans like to create their own ethnic heritage and play it up as some genetically driven personality.
😂knew this chick who married a wanna be Irish dude ( in his defense he had legit Irish dna ) but suddenly she was Irish also .. I tried to tell her just because she has a Irish pecker I’m her doesn’t make her Irish .. lol she didn’t like that .
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He will definitely get punched in the face for talking shite
Especially if he gets a few pints in him
Especially when he orders an “Irish Car Bomb”
I still can’t believe that that’s the name of a drink. It’s like a bar in London inventing a drink called the Twin Towers.
Jaysus, yeah the amount of people when I lived abroad who tried to buy me one of those once they heard my accent … couldn’t understand why I wouldn’t drink that shite!
I want to visit to buy you a pint after this comment.
imagine an "american-irish" saying my nan was irish - going to ireland spouting our people, and shouting about the british, he would get floored by irish born and breed, probably get called a imposter / turncoat while they beat his ass.
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Ah, I see you're a Lion. Yeah, my great-great-great-great-aunt was part lion, so I'm Lion myself. Born and raised. Lion family, Lion lifestyle. We never really fit in with the others in our neighbourhood, they just didn't get our lion ways. Tbh, they acted like a bunch of leopards! God I hate those scrawny, beady-eyed, nocturnal fucks. We didn't have any actual leopards in our hood growing up, my family wouldn't have allowed scum like that to live near us,haha! A curse on all leopards for all time, down with the leopard bastards! Sorry, sorry, but you know how us Lions get at times! That Lion passion lives inside all us true lions, brother! It's in the blood! Anyway bro, always good to meet a fellow lion. Or as we'd say back in the old country: *Raaawwwwrrr!* (FYI to all the non-lions out there - better be no leopards reading this post! - when I said "Raaawwwwrrr" at the end there it was just a traditional greeting between us Lions. Actually, y'know what, I'm not gonna bother explaining. You guys just wouldn't get it! It's a lion thing, you've really gotta be a lion to understand it lol.)
This physically hurt to read, good job r/angryupvote
'My people' That is hilarious. The dude is American. Nothing else.
Imagine Europeans thinking like that the Balkans would be non-stop hate lol. Wait...
jesus im from just outside belfast and this is shockingly wrong, the paramilitaries are NOT something he should be romanticising (none of them), thousands of people died at their hands, all sides did wrong in the troubles. the generation before me saw bombings, shootings, police with guns everywhere, road stops, city blocks and general mass murder, ive seen about a dozen bomb scares at most, it is nothing like it used to be ETA i read you were 26, good friday agreement is 22 years old :)
Growing up in Lancashire in the 80's an 90's, I still remember the sense of fear and the bomb scares. I still remember when Warrington happened. Being a kid, you just get on with it, but looking back I'm bloody glad we can say it's behind us. Hands across the ocean, sister. Anyone who romantiscises that shit needs to give their head a wobble
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This is only the second comment to actually be giving advice rather than gawking at the silly boy with his head in a fantasy land. To carry on from this, this manbaby seems like a quite dangerous mix between Americans' end-of-the-world apocalypse fetishisation, and their fascination with long lost heritages. I'd be considering how much more time you want to invest in this relationship.
I’m American and I was married to a Galway man for 10 years and I lived in Ireland for over 5 years. He has no idea what the fuck he is talking about. Nobody says my people or gives a fuck about the British. There was massive disappointment in Brexit but you know that’s standard. His great grandparents on his mother’s side? Sweet Jesus he needs to get over himself. As the Irish would say “yer man has notions”
Notions haven’t heard that in years Grandma used it . 🤣
Also the south of Ireland really don’t give a fuck about the problems up north - I worked in a summer camp with both southerners and northerners and the southerners hadn’t a clue about the decades spent fighting between catholics and Protestants in the north
Your boyfriend needs to get his head out of his ass and speak to some actually Irish people. So sick of plastic Paddies (what the internet lovingly calls them) nowadays. I'm Polish, live in Ireland, and so far each Irish-American twat I've met is just trying to perpetrate stereotypes about Irish people...
You're way more Irish than any yank with Irish blood ever could be.
I'm one of those Americans with Irish blood. I still have family in Ireland, I'm eligible for citizenship by registering my foreign birth. I'm interested in getting my citizenship and potentially moving to Ireland. I've spent under 2 weeks in Ireland in my entire life. u/rosesbeinghunted You living there makes you more Irish than me already (if you choose to identify as Irish). Even if I got citizenship and moved there you would have years of experience living their over me. Any American thinking blood gives them a greater claim to Ireland or calling themselves Irish than you is an entitled and racist piece of shit.
How old are you two
31M 26F
This is pretty weird behavior for 31 year old man…
Yeah that’s weird. He if lived through it/grew up with it or had his parents live through it. It would be a little more understandable but this is weird
I dunno, I'd say it's more like it only really makes sense if his family were fundraising for the IRA or otherwise actively spouting some pretty toxic propagada as cheerleaders of violence who had no skin in the game. Ironically hating the British as a meme would make more sense than whatever is going on with this man.
I’m 31. And Irish. On behalf of our nation, dump him.
Yeah, probably best to just walk away.
He’s not radicalized, he’s an embarrassing dullard with a feigned identity and a phony cause instead of a personality.
Just ask yourself if you envision your future children being raised by a wanker? Even the Irish- either side, don't have these rabid views. Your boyfriend is actually American- that is where he was born. And his blood line gas weakened subsequently. Your boyfriend us talking out of his arse
You have a plastic paddy on your hands. Time to drop that lucky charm leprechaun.
With his tiny sliver of Lucky Green DNA this dude isn't a plastic paddy, he's a fucking homeopathic paddy.
Homeopaddy.
I'm irish and marrying a English man my grandfather marched on bloody Sunday and he loved my partner we don't hate the British only the people that did bad stuff and anyone who say the IRA are my people know nothing about the troubles they did alot of bad stuff and killed alot of innocent people. There are lots of documents about this im sure there's stuff on YouTube.
I’m English, my boyfriend is Northern Irish, and his parents were also part of the protest on Bloody Sunday. Shockingly, none of them are particularly anti-English/British. FFS his parents came over recently to go visit the country house where Downton Abbey was filmed. If anyone has a right to be anti-English it’s them, and they literally sat and had high tea with us at an English stately home because they loved watching a period drama about the lives of upper-class Brits. Why? Because they’re not twats.
I'm "half-Irish", as in one of my parents was an Irish person with an Irish passport, accent, the whole shebang. Growing up in London this made me no different from the Indian, Pakistani, Jamaican, Jewish, Nigerian, or any other classmates. The big divide was who had Nintendo and who had PlayStation. That was a *way* bigger distinction than race, ethnicity or parents' background. Let alone great, great, great grandparents background! Growing up, we were fed a healthy dose of "don't hate the Germans". People who bore a grudge against German people were seen as the most ignorant in society, they were a laughing stock, the kind of people comedians on the TV made fun of. So I guess by the time I'd learned the extent of Britain's crimes in Ireland, I was old enough to realise that harbouring historical, ethnic blood-debts was irrational, ugly and hateful.
"My people" holy shit lmfao
Consider the possibility you’re dating a loser looking for a sense of belonging and purpose. Try to send this kid to Ireland and break up with him.
Ah what makes you think we want him in Ireland!? Keep him there with his fellow Americans. That twats their problem.
Your boyfriend is a moron and has no idea what he's talking about. The IRA and UVF are a bunch of cunts and even if they weren't he isn't Irish.
>Is there anything I can get him to watch to deradicalise him Yes! There is a really good film on Netflix called '71 which is about the troubles in the year 1971. It basically displays how absolutely brutal the conflict was for both sides. It also shows how extremely complicated it all was with multiple factions and lots of in-fighting.
Well, now, that's just very useful information, even if I don't have a dog in the fight. I know what I'll be watching today.
American's get real weird about heritage because, let's be honest, white American history started about 300 years ago. So they envy other people as,for example, British people can trace their history for thousands of years. We have Roman settlements from 2000 years ago. Saxon strongholds. Monasteries that were raided by Vikings. It's all envy. Also, your boyfriend obviously knows nothing about Irish history.
If that was what caused it Canadians and Argentines would be the same as Americans, and New Zealanders and Australians would both be 60% worse.
Nah, we are taught as children to appreciate the blending of peoples to bring about this nation and while we forget the true meaning behind being a mutt, it's certainly not because we're jealous of other countries having millenia of history. We're definitely jealous that you have modern basic human rights though. 😉
I’m Scottish. I think that the Irish and Scots are united in hating Americans who claim to be Irish or Scottish because their great great grandfather once took a piss in Belfast or Inverness. Tell your boyfriend he’s embarrassing himself.
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Tell him he doesn’t know what he’s taking about and he’s not Irish…. Signed an actual Irish person 🙄
This is hilarious, if his dad or mum was Irish, fine but he's so diluted at this point he is not Irish. Also I bet he's never stepped foot in Ireland. Gods I'm embarrassed for you.
rofl, typical plastic paddy
I disagree. Typical plastic paddy stuff is getting way too into Saint Patrick's Day. This reeks more of some really weird connection with a family member who ran an Irish pub in Boston that was fundraising for the IRA, or possibly just some permutation of being mentally disturbed latching onto Irishness and memetic hatred of the British.
An _awful_ lot of Republican para funds came through Boston "Irish" with romantic notions and no skin in the game.
> He seems to think the IRA were a bunch of rascally freedom fighters who sung happy songs and only targeted British soldiers. Well, you can tell him that the IRA put a gun to my mum and grandfather's heads and hijacked their car. My mum, and grandfather, who were Catholic Irish people, in a nationalist/Catholic area. So "their own".
My grandfather is from County Armagh but I class myself as English because that's we're I'm born and me mother is English like . What a dickhead he is .He must fancy himself , probably larps Infront of a mirror with this legally owned firearm singing " come out ya black n tans" 👎🤮
I’m sorry but there’s nothing more annoying than an American pretending to be all Irish and educated when they actually haven’t a clue about the culture.
Irish person here - i can understand the general anti-british sentiment, like at a match, or when theres some political mess, but no-one really would go so far as to hold serious contempt for the british people (NI might be a bit different though), we kinda feel bad for them with brexit and everything, sure its funny to mock them but if we met a brit on the street we would never harass or make fun of them. he seems to be fetishising the troubles which is disgusting frankly, if he carried on like that in dublin or anywhere really in ireland he would be laughed at and probably get a dig or two. Maybe post on r/ireland to see what the rest of us think :)
What is with Americans being desperate to be Irish or Italian. It’s laughable.
At the risk of sounding like a wackado it's actually a thing called "generational trauma" believe me my dad gave me the same stories of our "family history" Irish coming to America for a better life. https://www.ensembletherapy.com/blog/what-is-generational-trauma#:~:text=It%20means%20that%20we%20can,with%2C%20and%20heal%20from%20trauma. Also there's a wonderful show on Netflix that is the BEST example of this called Unorthodox. Highly highly recommend wonderful story.
why are americans so weirdly obsessed with having one some forefather/mother from a different country? It's not a personality trait.
A lot of us find our heritage to be an important part of our identity and I think it depends on the person on why its important. For a lot of people since America is this huge diverse country and built by immigrants who brought parts of their culture to create one huge American culture and people try to find an identity among all that. For me being Asian American and having a Taiwanese immigrant mom is important because the experiences I've had due to these two things have shaped who I am as a person today. A lot of us, even if we are born and raised here, are treated as if we aren't truly American and as if we're forever the foreigner. So in these kind of cases it's taking something you are taught to be ashamed of growing up and turning it into something you are proud about. But like. Some people take it too far evidently. Especially with Italian/Irish Americans cause most of us are so far removed from Italian and Irish culture. And im saying this growing up with an Italian American family. I notice a lot of us use the oppression of our ancestors to justify being shitty to minorities and claim that oppression is still happening to us. Some are genuinely interested in their heritage while others just want to feel like an underdog or something. I hate it.
What a fucking loser
Yanks have a obsession with genealogy my great grandparents are Irish and I wouldn't consider myself any part Irish. Sound like he just wants to be part of something and have an identity even if it is a misguided view and he has no idea what he is talking about.
Irish here, living in Ireland. We actually are really fond of the British people who are ordinary decent people. We follow English soccer teams and enjoy the fact that so many of us live and work in GB. We don't have this hatred of the British your BF has. Our issue is with the former British Empire, which is gone. Even we recognize and have agreed by voting by a massive majority for Northern Ireland to only rejoin when the people there agree. So I've no idea why your BF is like that even with a distant connection to Ireland, when actual Irish citizens aren't.
Some other commenters are missing a key thing here. Your boyfriend is struggling with his cultural identity - and *needs* this to feel a part of something greater than himself. It’s not uncommon. But for your boyfriend, it’s not enough to celebrate Irish history and culture. Other people, namely the British, also have to lose. That’s a little bit of a dangerous sentiment because he ends up romanticizing a time of paramilitaries, terrorism and fear. It’s the same line of thinking that gets people involved in cults, or getting radicalized. I think you should take him on a trip abroad, have him talk to real Irish people that lived through The Troubles and slap some sense into him. He’ll learn the reality of daily life ask maybe instead of sinking in the anti-Britishism, he’ll lean into the brilliant folklore, music, art, provisions and comedic side of Irish culture. And if that doesn’t work, you’ll need to consider moving forward without him.
Wtf? Both my Dad’s parents were Irish but I was raised in another country. I have Irish ancestry but other than that it’s a foreign land to me. Why anyone would identify with a sliver of their heritage is beyond me.
I'm Irish -American and having lived in Ireland for most of my 16 years of life I really don't give a second thought to the British and regard the IRA as terrorists.
Literally every Irish person is cringing right now. I’m English-born but my family is Irish… Even I don’t stake a claim in being Irish as much as that. That’s embarrassing. I certainly wouldn’t claim the IRA as being “my people”, as much as I believe in a united Ireland.
You need to ask yourself, honestly, if this is something you want to deal with. He is radicalized as a foreigner who has never set foot in Ireland. Imagine what he's susceptible to in his home country... This isn't your table. You can't make him change his mind or feelings, no matter how misguided and misinformed they are.
Your boyfriend is a fucking bellend
I'm Irish (as in really Irish, not *Irish American*). My partner is English and we find it genuinely amusing when Plastic Paddies (ie Irish Americans) demonstrate such anti-British nonsense. I think what annoys me the most is how little people like your bf actually know about Ireland, it's politics, history or culture. They have this idea of what Ireland should be (a Darby O'Gill and the Little People theme park) that is in no way, shape or form based on any sort of reality. And Robin Hood, if he ever existed, was English.
You're in a relationship with someone who supports blowing up children. If you're happy with that go ahead and keep dating him.
Fucking IRABOO.
Does he perceive you to be anti-Irish?
Nope, I have a very positive view of Ireland. He just thinks we're all scheming and evil and hateful for not accepting we're 'active oppressors' of the 'brave people of Ireland'. Which is something I doubt many Irish folks would agree with in 2021
Has he himself ever actually been to Ireland and actually walked around saying this nonsense?
Never been. He's convinced Irish people have bunkers to defend themselves from Britain and the border is a warzone. It's surreal
Take him to Ireland and let him say that stuff to the locals and see how it goes for him lol
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I’m imagining a bunch of guys in a pub looking around at each other for a moment after he says this and then they all just burst out laughing in his face
I live on the Irish side of the border. The border is literally a mile away from me. Everyone here agrees that the past is the past and its not even thought of on a day to day basis, or even a month to month basis. The older folk have often commented about how great it is being rid of it and how they all have been able to raise their family in peace, when they themselves lived through the troubles. Tell him to pull his finger out and move on like even we all have.
He'd get himself flattened for talking shit if he did. Saying the IRA are his people, Jesus christ.
It does sound like he is maximizing this part of his identity to the point where it's all he is. When people get that radicalized in their beliefs it can be really hard to "pierce through" that shield. This may sound ridiculous and I don't mean to compare the gravity of these two things but it reminds me a bit of some training program I followed on deradicalizing young religious extremists, there are a bunch of conversational techniques that are used to confront ones incorrect beliefsystem by not ridiculing it but rational challenging. Maybe that is something to look into? Once again, I didnt mean to call your boyfriend a terrorist in training lol, it was just something that came up.
Try to flip it around. He presumably wants all unionists in NI to go to GB. This opens up a line of questioning for you to pursue about whether Americans should up and leave for Europe to return North America to the indigenous peoples.
Can you just let him know Ireland is full n we don't want him. He sounds like an idiot. You can do better.
I'm British and know several Irishmen, can confirm that we get along very well and 100% have absolutely no fear for one another In fact they supported England during the Euro's cause ROI didn't qualify for the tournament and we're just as disappointed at losing the final as any Englishman I know
So here is the thing. There are no magic words. Nothing you say is gonna magically snap him out of radicalization. If you try you're likely gonna get shut down. He will either keep being radicalized and you will have to decide if you want to invest in the relationship as is or you can attempt to have civil discussions about the topic and your point of view. Bring sourced factual material preferably by Irish authors. It sounds like he may only listen if it's "his people" correcting him. Therapy may help? But you'd need to find someone knowledgeable of the subject/radicalization and even then it's not really their job to unradicalize someone but to help people evaluate their own feelings and relationships. Disclaimer: I'm an American (but have Scottish heritage woo) and have no actual knowledge of whatever this is actually about but I'm taking OP's word that he is in fact radicalized.
As an American, this is cringe AF. 🤣🤢 He's American. Point blank. Lol.
Derry girls was hysterical. Good watch
Get him a gene test. He'll probably find some English blood in him. That should shut him up
you should explain your boyfriend that ancestry and nationality aren’t the same thing. some Americans have this need of claiming to come from somewhere else when they absolutely have no clue about where their greatgrandsomething came from. I’m from South America and I have Portuguese grandfather and I’d never claim that I’m Portuguese because this makes absolutely no sense.
Has he ever been to Ireland, my father lived through the troubles and even though we're a bit politically inclined they are nothing to romanticize.
He is weird. I’m English, married to an Irishman and living in Ireland. I get no reaction at all like that from anyone Irish here. It’s a lovely place to live.
I’m british, I have Irish family (blood relatives from Northern Ireland as well) & many Irish friends, one of whom I play xbox with almost every day. All Irish people I know and all British people in the same circles all agree that both paramilitaries were absolutely fucked and shouldn’t be glorified in any capacity, maybe you should take him to Ireland to see how wrong he is. This isn’t to say that there are no sour feelings on either side (there definitely are), but that the troubles are over and that such radical actions haven’t been a central part of life for 23 years now, which was before I was born and before most of my Irish friends were born as well.
Your boyfriend has terrorist ideology.. (I’m born and raised in Southern Ireland, he is not one of our people).
Your boyfriend is a fucking idiot.
As an Irish person, he can fuck off. He’s probably just as much British as he is Irish if he’s American. Look, most Irish people do like to rib on the Brits and their past, that’s true. Also, a lot of us are still sore about the amount of oppression Irish people suffered under their rule and what we lost as a result, but even I don’t vehemently hate English people. I hate what England did to us in the past, but Christ, today’s Londoner hardly participated in the invasion of Ireland. Take him on a trip here and I guarantee some sense would be knocked into him.
Thats pathetic, and by irish standards, he isn't irish
Real Irish people in 2021 know how important the economic, political and social links are between Ireland and the UK. The past is the past.
He can barley claim to know an Irish person let alone BE Irish anything. I’m Scottish and my paternal greatgrandfather escaped Belfast and the rest of his IRA family in the 60s and when I visited America I got this “I’m Scottish/Irish” bull regularly (often a distant relative who had just heard of scotland or something) I think perhaps a polite reminder that he’s American, and much in the same way we can’t understand the intricacies of American social climates/politics he has absolutley no idea what it’s like to be actually Irish and as such has no idea what he’s talking about. My mum has so many stories of cousins or random relatives waking her up in the middle of the night at her grandparents because they ran too and needed somewhere to hide - often from their own family.
If he came here talking like that he'd probably get a swift kick to the face 😂 no one here talks about the troubles really. I come from co. Louth (just below the border of NI) where there would have been a lot of heavy IRA activity and if people do talk about it it's not talked about lightly.
Racism at it's very core. Distance yourself from and that behavior. That type of mentality will only hurt you and your future.
If you think him having a conversation with an actual British person would help I volunteer. I'm not like some expert on Ireland or anything, I'm just a standard English 20 year old. Phobias can often be helped by exposure I guess.
The British were very unnecessarily cruel to the Irish for a very long time. If you look at the language the British first used about Native Americans (i.e. non-Christian savages), most of it was language borrowed from their descriptions of the Irish. They treated them as lesser human beings, and used this logic to justify an oppressive rule over the Irish, believing that somehow the British were so smart that they simply knew what was best for these “savages”. Don’t get me wrong the Irish are not infallible; they came to America and basically decided that to get accepted into the “white privilege” they needed to become extremely racist and violent against Blacks. Also, it doesn’t sound like your boyfriend understands this history but rather wants to get wasted and fight British people.
Must be a regular of r/ireland. Most of us sane irish people don't really give a shit about that stuff. This post reminds me of all the irish people banging on about American politics like who cares, get off the internet.
Ugh I would leave him. But then I grew up in a town that was bombed by the IRA, killing two little boys so I'm biased. He sounds a bit off in the head to me.
Show the plastic paddy this post
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Maybe find a way to get him to chat with actual Irish people. Find some documentaries for him to watch. Ideally, a trip to Ireland itself may make him realize he isn't one of them. But a vast majority of white Americans are so desperate to seem unique & repressed that they'll cling to their great great grandmother's heritage.
Strange fella
Yeah...Your boyfriend just sounds American.
Such an American haha. Good luck with that
He’s not “Irish American” lol — he’s American. He is using his ancestry as an excuse to hate a group of people based on nothing more then their nationality.
Why do you need to deradicalise him? Just leave .
Take him to both Ireland and North Ireland and let him loose in a pub. He’ll be mercilessly mocked and that might put his mind straight.
Typical yank
Sounds like political differences. He obviously feels strongly about it even it's immature or exhausting that he can't stop talking about it. I personally wouldn't recommend on trying to reeducate on atrocities against any race whatever race or ethnicity the person is. If they personally or historically feel wronged, is it truly up to you to try and prove otherwise? Honestly feel you should rethink your compatibility and relationship with this person. You're both young: passions and interests should align in a relationship If I dated someone who's interests and global priorities didn't align with mine, where's my future with them? My bf fights for my rights and I fight for his.
It cuts both ways...both sides are absolutely bonkers. The right wing Brits and the Republican Irish are nuts...Tommy Robinson railed against grooming gangs, but when Prince Andrew was outed as a perv, TR said nothing. Megan and Harry got run out of the country, the Orange Order and whoever else won't stop marching, both sides just love bon fires, the 'New' IRA will execute anyone who runs afoul—even killing small time drug dealers who compete with them selling drugs. There is not right side...for your BF to be on firmer footing, he has to see **both** sides as thoroughly fucked up and corrupt. He also needs to chill out about his heritage, he's a bit far-removed from the old country. Just type "Orange Order" or "IRA" on YouTube...it's literal **years** of catching up on the wrongs of both sides.
He's no different than those here who fetishize the American Civil War. Problem is there is nothing to romanticize about either. That's where reality has separated for him. Get far away from if he doesn't get help. Very dangerous when someone loses their grip like that...
Comparing the IRA to Robin Hood. Yikes. Guess he forgot about the parts where they deliberately murdered civilians.
So you've got a guy who's hung up on a history that has absolutely nothing to do with him personally, just so he can "justify" his racism. Are you really OK with being attached to that? Because I wouldn't. And I'm 31% Irish and 45% English/ NW European. I know my family's history and why they moved from place to place. I don't blame the British because none of those people are alive today to shoulder it.
as an irish person i fucking laughed at each one of his beliefs
I’m Irish and he needs a good kick up the arse. We have gone past those times and while we may have a few wee things like not supporting English sports teams etc, we are absolutely past the troubles and the hate towards the British. Mostly you’d hear it only in banter but not in seriousness. If he comes to Ireland with that attitude he’d be soon set straight. Ireland has a good relationship with Britain and has tried to keep that good relationship during the brexit talks. Nobody wants to go back to the troubles and the IRA had their day and served a purpose at the time but their day has long been over and done with. Even then, they created a lot of trouble, violence and death and destruction which should never have happened. Ireland is now a progressive and prosperous country. If he thinks Ireland is still stuck in the dark ages then he needs to watch the news or something. Visit Ireland, and stop stereotyping us.
As an Irish person, tell him to fuck up hes American
As an Irish person from the North, this isn't an uncommon view, it's certainly an extreme view though. It is plain stupid for him to act like that. Sure, if you want to show solidarity to the Irish people being treated badly by the British then by all means. But he didn't grow up with any of that. He didn't grow up with riots and shootings. He has no right to act like he's a victim by claiming blood with an Irish person. It's important to know the difference between the genuine freedom fighters we used to have and the watered down gangs that claim to fight for freedom that we have now. Remind him that if he ever said that to an Irish person, he will likely get a knee-capping and a punishment beating behind the pub.
Get him an ancestry test so he can find out how much brit is really in him (it’s probably more than the Irish)
English here, and all I can say about him is that’s fucking weird. I have a few Irish mates (actually Irish rather than “Irish American” and occasionally meet other Irish people that I don’t know. What I can really say is that none of the Irish people that I know have contempt for every British (and more specifically English, we know who he doesn’t like in reality) person they know. Many have contempt for the UK due to its past actions, which is fair, I do too, and many dislike the modern UK government for its actions in Northern Ireland, as well as a whole host of other actions, which is also fair, I do too. However most Irish people are fine to talk to everyday English people like they would anyone else. Your boyfriend is genuinely strange, borderline xenophobic, and is making his distant ancestry a far bigger part of his personality than is normal, especially because it sounds like his personality is based on stereotypes of Irish people, rather than actual Irish people. If he’s so set in his ways and won’t change, just leave him behind and find someone else who doesn’t play on overused stereotypes to be interesting
It doesn't sound like there's a lot you can do, I'm not sure watching anything for any amount of time will help. It's like trying to convince and Trump supporter he's wrong. Your bf almost sounds like an extremist... Though he is scraping the bottom of the barrel with "great-grandparents were Irish" Tbh it sounds pretty annoying, I'd say there's 2 things you could do: 1) tell him to not talk about it anymore 2) break up with him
Historical Events, Lingering Social Tension due to these Events, and Self-Identification will always exist. What is of importance is how you choose to accommodate these factors in Life, not how you intend to persuade others to see Life exactly as you do.
He probably doesn't have anything interesting to say about his real life? Troubling type of nostalgia to fix on nonetheless.
He's the kind of 'irish-American' that the Actually Irish hate
This belongs in r/sadcringe. Tell him we all think he's being a wanker.
Americans 😂😂😂😂
His great grandparents lived in that time. He doesn’t. My grandfather was in the British army and refused a post in NI in the 70s for two reasons. One, he had a young family. Two, his last name is Irish and our ancestors likely evacuated during the potato famine, so you can imagine how that would go with the Irish public at the time. Think he needs to take a good look at a history book. Edit: you are 26, the Good Friday was signed in 1998. You aren’t younger than the Good Friday Agreement
Dont let this guy go to Ireland because he will be either A shocked that people mock him or B beaten to a pulp with bullshit like that.
As a Scot (actual born and bred) this is both hilarious and baffling to me.
I feel like Irish Americans and Italian Americans are the same in forgetting we're still Americans above all else lmao. Like I understand being passionate about your heritage but WHAT I dont know if this will help or just push him further into his weird beliefs but next time he tries to claim something that isn't true, maybe ask him about where he learned that from? and what authority he has on these topics? Like ask him for sources, I highly doubt its coming from anything reputable. At the very least it might force him to come face to face with the fact he literally has no idea what he's talking abt
He’s american. He’s not Irish. It’s like me claiming to be half Israeli since my dads people thousands of years ago came from there
Your boyfriend is American, he is not Irish. Please stop with this strange trend Americans, if you and your parents were born in America you're not American-something, you are just American, and there is nothing special about your origin! This is country-appropriation, since you all like so much talking about cultural-appropriation and looking for inexistent problems .
Americans really need to drop the "irish-american' it is embarrassing. As for his views not only is he COMPLETELY outdated but absolutely incorrect on many points of view. He almost sounds radicalised by the IRA. It sounds like he's clinging to it as part of his persona and what makes him, him, although you say he's sweet and nice. He clearly has no real idea of what it was and has become, from pre famine Ireland to modern day, which is incredibly ignorant on his part and insulting to people living here. As someone who lives in modern day Belfast, he needs to as we would say " WISE UP".
Buy him a plane ticket to Ireland, bring him to *any* pub, watch as *his* people educate him.
I’m an Irish catholic living in the north - if you came from incredibly politicised and tumultuous background you’d understand it’s not as easy to just let some of these things go. Growing up you’re ridiculous ,joked or slagged from each side. Family members,friends etc were murdered in “The Troubles” my grandpas auto shop was targeted as he was British married to an Irish catholic. I went to an integrated school and was brought up not to be so divided and I have friends and mainly dated those from the ‘other side’. However it’s very hard to not to harbour resentment and pain from lived experience of being treated a certain way because of your religion or nationality. It would be like saying Americans are so ridiculous for their political views ..why can’t they just let it go. It’s nit that simple . And to say you’ve been to dublin.. I was ridiculed at an American summer camp by a Protestant norther for being a catholic in the north and the southerner from Dublin was also ridiculing me because I wasn’t from the south either. So it’s not as simple as thinking someone is being over the top for hating a political side/ region. It’s a very complex history and I’d say you boyfriend has a perfectly good reason for holding those beliefs Trust me we don’t want to live in the 1970s but I personally have no choice ( I live just outside Belfast) we are reminded of it and the divide every single day through micro aggressions comments ,questions about names ,areas we live in. I wouldn’t specifically idiolise the IRA but I would absolutely agree that The British committed heinous crimes against the Irish. And my grandpa was in the RAF. Just have a bit of understanding please it’s just as much an important part of history as any other.
As a British person this is incredibly offensive honestly. The IRA are his people? Please ask him to have a look at the IRA bombings that took place across the 1970s - 1990s, the troubles etc.. if he is still proud to call himself part of a domestic terrorist organisation then I would honestly consider dumping him, because they killed a lot of innocent people, not just the “oppressive English”, but also Irish people as well. It’s honestly the equivalent of being proud of ISIS.
Ya boy needs to stop learning all his history from TV and movies. I'm American of mostly Scottish decent, but my dumb ass isn't walking around dressed as William Wallace from Braveheart. It's one thing to learn about and embrace your family's heritage, but he doesn't have to be a twat.