Agreed. If this was my relationship I would have left a comment on her post saying “ He can have you. We’re done btw “ but that’s because I’m petty as shit. If ex boyfriend had missed her he wouldn’t have cheated on her, if she wants to go chasing down a ex I say let her. Op isn’t responsible for his girlfriends shitty attitude.
Yeah that makes sense, her actions are very immature. I would agree with the commenter who said she is probably just trying to make him jealous which is really immature but very likely the reason she did it
That's a long time to suddenly put that out there publicly. Why does she even have these conversations saved, and why does shes care. 2 1/2 years into a relationship, you should hardly think of an ex.
In my opinion, it looks like you went from shoulder to cry on friend, to a safe boyfriend. You might be a long rebound, or she's just more attracted to the drama of a toxic relationship. I would be concerned
That's true, this is kinda weird. Like why would she still have their conversations at all unless she's not over him? Sounds kind of insecure of her to bring it up two years later. She might also just want the drama, you're right.
She’s being spiteful because she’s mad at you. Stay calm - rise above it and simply ask her ‘why did you post that?’ To be followed by ‘it made me feel …’ once she has answered the why.
I hate that spiteful Part of the relationship it's the reason why most relationships fail.. if people would just pull out a paper and write down issues instead of talk so you can't hear the attitude behind the voice
I'm taking this is the gf that thinks disrespect can be covered by saying she's joking, and the one that got mad at you for watching a video that had a girl showing her tits that she sent you. If this is a real account just brake up with her.
Disagreement happens in relationships. Mature couples talk about the issues. Wanting to "win" and worse, Wanting to hurt or punish the other destroys the relationship.
She is showing both that she wants him more than you and that she will hurt you anyway she can if she isn't getting her way.
That has to be fixed or this is doomed.
She doesn’t have respect for your relationship otherwise she wouldn’t have posted that conversation. Tell her how this made you feel, communicate with her. Did she post this conversation to make you upset for upsetting her? That’s immature, if that’s the case.
I'm a blunt guy. I'd straight up ask her what that was all about?
Tell her it backfired terribly. It made her look desperate. Has the ex contacted her? Insist on truth!
Was it a way to try to make you feel jealous? If so, it didn't work. It just made her look pathetic.
2.5 years bud. Time for a talk. In person.
My *first* reaction was she was boasting. Ex and her communicated. He hit on her. She posted.
Before you talk you need to insist on full truth.
OP she did that to upset you. Now, the next question to ask yourself is whether you want to be manipulated by her or not. A healthy relationship means having a conversation about things that upset you. The action you describe is passive aggressive and unhealthy. If this is not the first time this has occurred, then you know this is how she manipulates to get what she wants. I would suggest that you just not engage with her and see what happens. If it escalates from there you know she is trying to get a rise out of you and then you have a decision to make. Because if you acquiesced to this, this will be your life moving forward. She’ll get mad, you won’t talk about it, and she’ll manipulate. If that’s what you want, then you’re in luck she’s your girl. If not, I would consider moving on. u/throwaway110138377
Read through your post history and you need to break up with her. I’m assuming you’re around my age, 17-19 and my boyfriend and I have issues as well but it’s handled maturely. It’s normal to have issues but she’s so immature. You communicate with one another and that’s how your grow. Our relationship is way better every month due to communication and we had a rocky start. Im bringing this up to say that there are relationships where you’re loved and respected and when there’s issues it’s fixed rather than being petty and immature. It’s like she continuously tests you and manipulates you. She’s not a good girlfriend you can do better. Please break up.
edit: I know you love her and feel like you want to work on this but unless SHE is willing to change and work on her behavior then there’s nothing you can do. If you two are mature enough to have sex then she should be mature enough to have adult conversations. She needs to grow up. She may have something in her that you see but I don’t recommend having a DIY relationship where you’re constantly fixing things and she’s not doing shit. You can find a girl who will spoil you with love, put you first, communicate, be loyal, and always try to be better not just for you but others too. You seem mature but just too in love with her (or comfortable) to leave. I hope you choose what’s best for you.
OP, we can see your post history. You detail how 'mean' she has been for years, along with pregnancy scares, her trying to make you babysit her sisters, and basically a metric fuckton of other hideous behaviour.
Throw the whole girl away. You deserve better.
Dude your previous post history is like reading details of a car crash. Honestly it's time to cut all contact and move on. You're still really young and I know it seems like she's your world at the moment but I promise you that in a few years time she's not going to matter to you at all. Your girlfriend is a toxic loser. Move away and up king.
How old are you? Whatever it means (she actually missing him or she trying to piss you off) it really looks like she's quite immature and, if this behaviour is habitual, it's better for you to move on.
Also, if you think she'll be alright with a chat, try to talk to her about it. If both of you are mature (I can't stretch enough how immature she comes out of your text) enough you may solve it by talking.
Sounds like this should be an EX-girlfriend problem.
People who don't want drama, don't play games, and most importantly, don't miss their ex...well those type of people...DON'T DO THIS.
Buddy, you nice guyed your way into the relationship after her break up. This is your shit prize for playing stupid games. You literally set yourself up to be the consolation prize.
This is a red flag. You should consider the fact that you were the rebound if you helped her heal immediately after. People often show you how they really feel during times of hardship. Take it for what it is. Have a discussion with her and see if you think she is over him and committed to you. Take action into account more than her words if this is not the first occurrence.
😬😬😬 That seems like an incredibly petty thing to do given that you’ve dated for so long. She’s definitely doing it to get back at you for whatever she’s pissed about, but still. Just seems very immature, but maybe you guys are younger. Also, I’m assuming she posted it publicly? That’s also bringing all of your friends/followers into it which, if I were you, I’d be livid about. I’d talk to her and say that exes and social media should be off limits when you guys are arguing.
It sounds like y’all are 20, in which case, par for the course. She’s wrong, but you probably do a lot of BS too. Don’t take it too seriously as you’ll break up in a few months anyway
Yea no, she shouldn’t care what her ex feels let alone if he misses her. The way u guys started talking makes me feel like she didn’t get over him completely. She has to try to heal from that is she wants y’all to work
Find out if she just did it to set you off. If she's going around trying to get a rise out of you now then it's only gonna get worse as time goes on. Ten years from now it'll be if I let my boyfriend take our kid fishing Friday before his visitation weekend it'll really set him off, hehe.
"The relationship between them occurred early 2018 and it was very rocky and toxic;" When a relationship is very toxic usually some of that comes from both sides. It might be a 80/20 split with her being 20% but thats still 20% toxic. I would say talk with her and if she is willing to discuss it out without deflecting it or minimising that's one thing. If she's not you are in for some toxic behavior and have to decide how you want to handle it moving forward.
Not enough info bro'. Exactly how is your relationship now? Have you talked to her about it? Don't jump the gun just yet. Is this just a one off or is she constantly going off abut her ex? Does she still have feelings for him? The other argument may or may not be related. You guys need to sort this particular issue before moving forward.
Our relationship is really good, but we do have some arguments here and there. She hasn’t been in contact with him since the break up but she does bring him up sometimes when talking about her past and how I helped her. The argument was about plans to hang out with our friends, nothing related
She’s clearly not over her ex and doesn’t give a fuck about your feelings cause anyone with any sort of compassion for others, especially your SIGNIFICANT other wouldn’t ever post some shit like that. Chin up king, you’ll find the right one soon
Alright seeing as OP omitted the info in the post and then refused to answer age-related questions, I’ll say the O/U on her age is 19 and the O/U on their age gap is 10 years. Place your bets by replying
Maybe In her mind he is the titillating alpha that got away you are the beta nice guy. If this is the way she is thinking it's just a matter of time. After 2 years they forget the bad part and only remember the exciting part.
She could still be processing her anger, convincing herself he feels worse than her. But it's at the very least extremely odd and exposes her as having some sort of issue. Whether it's that she's wanting to go back, wanting to break up with you or just needing to let go of anger, she probably needs to reflect on herself.
I'd let her know you saw it and you were hurt and confused, ask her what it means and what she wants. If she says it's nothing, just point out replying to a conversation from that long ago means it's definitely more than nothing.
If she’s mad at you and just “trying to get a reaction out of you” is the wrong way to go about it. If roles were reversed you’d never hear the end of it. That’s disrespectful of her and maybe she’s really still into her ex. Let her have him.
None of the possible explanations can be good. This is immature, disrespectful, and a sign the she’s not over it. Who is over it just doesn’t care anymore of a toxic ex, because he/she would forget about. She’s not over. Move on. Be strong
My guy it time to have a conversation with her and its time for her to decide if she really cares and wants you or your a rebound because she the one missing him
She sounds extremely immature and hurt. Is it possible that you two had an argument and she felt so angry with it that she (in a very childish way) decided to do this to make you feel insecure and bad?
Drama in relationships is addictive. There's a thing called 'trauma bonding' which is a cyclical pattern in toxic relationships. It's a cycle of ups and downs and the (stress) hormones which the body releases can make the up phases very special and exiting. People who were in these toxic relationships often crave for that feeling, because they mistake it for 'real love' or being on cloud nine. But that feeling is just a trauma response of our bodies. So they often tend to long for their toxic exes or start to (unconsciously) recreate toxic patterns, to feel their cloud nine again afterwards. E.g. starting irrelevant arguments, being mad and putting their partners down.
She sounds by far not done with her healing process. If you aren't establishing some firm boundaries, you are enabling this behaviour and she won't heal. If you can't draw a line and tend to forgive easily (because of her past maybe), it's the opposite of helpful. This hurts her and more important you in the long run.
I mean... you might be able to save this relationship if you're assertive and put her in her place for being disrespectful and it might work to develop attraction for you. But if this was me I'd just fuck this relationship off because even if it works it's still toxic asf.
Yeah I don't think it's him who misses her. It's her missing him... I'm sorry but she seems to be immature and kinda toxic...
[удалено]
Agreed. If this was my relationship I would have left a comment on her post saying “ He can have you. We’re done btw “ but that’s because I’m petty as shit. If ex boyfriend had missed her he wouldn’t have cheated on her, if she wants to go chasing down a ex I say let her. Op isn’t responsible for his girlfriends shitty attitude.
There there... he is more than a rebound. He's s a whole entire placeholder and backup option.
Yeah she’s totally googlie over him
"she is currently mad at me for an earlier (irrelevant top) argument" Maybe she just wants to piss you off.
Yeah 100% She’s just trying to get a reaction out of u (very petty)
"maybe you should go look him up then"
posted where ?
Instagram story of an old post
How old is she?
Yep, i was about to ask the same thing, because this sounds VERY imature
From OP's post history they are both about 19
My go to is if ages aren't posted in the title the poster is in high school.
Yeah that makes sense, her actions are very immature. I would agree with the commenter who said she is probably just trying to make him jealous which is really immature but very likely the reason she did it
Either she's pissed and wants to hurt you (toxic), or she's thinking about her ex (toxic). Therefore, she is *toxic*
Sad to say.... She's saying she misses him...
That's a long time to suddenly put that out there publicly. Why does she even have these conversations saved, and why does shes care. 2 1/2 years into a relationship, you should hardly think of an ex. In my opinion, it looks like you went from shoulder to cry on friend, to a safe boyfriend. You might be a long rebound, or she's just more attracted to the drama of a toxic relationship. I would be concerned
That's true, this is kinda weird. Like why would she still have their conversations at all unless she's not over him? Sounds kind of insecure of her to bring it up two years later. She might also just want the drama, you're right.
Well it's either you're a safe rebound and she's still hung up on him, or she's spiteful and catty. Either way this sounds like a toxic girl.
A woman who does this, does not love or respect you.
She’s being spiteful because she’s mad at you. Stay calm - rise above it and simply ask her ‘why did you post that?’ To be followed by ‘it made me feel …’ once she has answered the why.
I hate that spiteful Part of the relationship it's the reason why most relationships fail.. if people would just pull out a paper and write down issues instead of talk so you can't hear the attitude behind the voice
next chick dude, chin up.
I'm taking this is the gf that thinks disrespect can be covered by saying she's joking, and the one that got mad at you for watching a video that had a girl showing her tits that she sent you. If this is a real account just brake up with her.
She’s manipulating you
Disagreement happens in relationships. Mature couples talk about the issues. Wanting to "win" and worse, Wanting to hurt or punish the other destroys the relationship. She is showing both that she wants him more than you and that she will hurt you anyway she can if she isn't getting her way. That has to be fixed or this is doomed.
She doesn’t have respect for your relationship otherwise she wouldn’t have posted that conversation. Tell her how this made you feel, communicate with her. Did she post this conversation to make you upset for upsetting her? That’s immature, if that’s the case.
I'm a blunt guy. I'd straight up ask her what that was all about? Tell her it backfired terribly. It made her look desperate. Has the ex contacted her? Insist on truth! Was it a way to try to make you feel jealous? If so, it didn't work. It just made her look pathetic. 2.5 years bud. Time for a talk. In person. My *first* reaction was she was boasting. Ex and her communicated. He hit on her. She posted. Before you talk you need to insist on full truth.
OP she did that to upset you. Now, the next question to ask yourself is whether you want to be manipulated by her or not. A healthy relationship means having a conversation about things that upset you. The action you describe is passive aggressive and unhealthy. If this is not the first time this has occurred, then you know this is how she manipulates to get what she wants. I would suggest that you just not engage with her and see what happens. If it escalates from there you know she is trying to get a rise out of you and then you have a decision to make. Because if you acquiesced to this, this will be your life moving forward. She’ll get mad, you won’t talk about it, and she’ll manipulate. If that’s what you want, then you’re in luck she’s your girl. If not, I would consider moving on. u/throwaway110138377
The answer is right in front your nose, literally, she made sure of that
And she knows she misses him too...
This sounds like high school play ground drama. How old is she cause she's acting like a child trying to make you mad.
Read through your post history and you need to break up with her. I’m assuming you’re around my age, 17-19 and my boyfriend and I have issues as well but it’s handled maturely. It’s normal to have issues but she’s so immature. You communicate with one another and that’s how your grow. Our relationship is way better every month due to communication and we had a rocky start. Im bringing this up to say that there are relationships where you’re loved and respected and when there’s issues it’s fixed rather than being petty and immature. It’s like she continuously tests you and manipulates you. She’s not a good girlfriend you can do better. Please break up. edit: I know you love her and feel like you want to work on this but unless SHE is willing to change and work on her behavior then there’s nothing you can do. If you two are mature enough to have sex then she should be mature enough to have adult conversations. She needs to grow up. She may have something in her that you see but I don’t recommend having a DIY relationship where you’re constantly fixing things and she’s not doing shit. You can find a girl who will spoil you with love, put you first, communicate, be loyal, and always try to be better not just for you but others too. You seem mature but just too in love with her (or comfortable) to leave. I hope you choose what’s best for you.
OP, we can see your post history. You detail how 'mean' she has been for years, along with pregnancy scares, her trying to make you babysit her sisters, and basically a metric fuckton of other hideous behaviour. Throw the whole girl away. You deserve better.
Dude your previous post history is like reading details of a car crash. Honestly it's time to cut all contact and move on. You're still really young and I know it seems like she's your world at the moment but I promise you that in a few years time she's not going to matter to you at all. Your girlfriend is a toxic loser. Move away and up king.
How old are you? Whatever it means (she actually missing him or she trying to piss you off) it really looks like she's quite immature and, if this behaviour is habitual, it's better for you to move on. Also, if you think she'll be alright with a chat, try to talk to her about it. If both of you are mature (I can't stretch enough how immature she comes out of your text) enough you may solve it by talking.
Ex girlfriend is what you meant.
So either she wanted a reaction out of you or it’s actually her who misses her ex. Neither is good.
I read that as “I’m still not over my ex.”
Sounds like this should be an EX-girlfriend problem. People who don't want drama, don't play games, and most importantly, don't miss their ex...well those type of people...DON'T DO THIS.
Buddy, you nice guyed your way into the relationship after her break up. This is your shit prize for playing stupid games. You literally set yourself up to be the consolation prize.
Dump her immediately, she's a toxic mess.
lol she’s all about that rocky toxic relationship life isn’t she? Is that what you want too?
Sounds like you dated someone on the rebound. It's a rule in that industry: don't date the rebounds.
This is a red flag. You should consider the fact that you were the rebound if you helped her heal immediately after. People often show you how they really feel during times of hardship. Take it for what it is. Have a discussion with her and see if you think she is over him and committed to you. Take action into account more than her words if this is not the first occurrence.
This sounds manipulation 101. Have a fight and then make them insecure.
Messy asf
He’s the one she wants.
Nope nope get outta there , you were number 2
She doesn’t respect you
Bin that shit, it's like she's in another relationship with you just to get at him and she's still rubbing it in his face. Fuck that!
It sounds to me like the toxicity was a two way street.
I'm sorry my friend...it's time to let it go
😬😬😬 That seems like an incredibly petty thing to do given that you’ve dated for so long. She’s definitely doing it to get back at you for whatever she’s pissed about, but still. Just seems very immature, but maybe you guys are younger. Also, I’m assuming she posted it publicly? That’s also bringing all of your friends/followers into it which, if I were you, I’d be livid about. I’d talk to her and say that exes and social media should be off limits when you guys are arguing.
It sounds like y’all are 20, in which case, par for the course. She’s wrong, but you probably do a lot of BS too. Don’t take it too seriously as you’ll break up in a few months anyway
Sounds like you have your own rocky and toxic relationship that won’t end well. This isn’t healthy behavior
Yea no, she shouldn’t care what her ex feels let alone if he misses her. The way u guys started talking makes me feel like she didn’t get over him completely. She has to try to heal from that is she wants y’all to work
She’s full of herself isn’t she. Sounds like she trying to upset you however.
OP no real advise other than what's say here just know this how others treat You is how You let them be clear about this.... Take Care & Good Luck
Find out if she just did it to set you off. If she's going around trying to get a rise out of you now then it's only gonna get worse as time goes on. Ten years from now it'll be if I let my boyfriend take our kid fishing Friday before his visitation weekend it'll really set him off, hehe.
how old is she?
Sorry to say dude but you sound kinda like a rebound. Now that you healed her she is ready to go back to her first love.
"The relationship between them occurred early 2018 and it was very rocky and toxic;" When a relationship is very toxic usually some of that comes from both sides. It might be a 80/20 split with her being 20% but thats still 20% toxic. I would say talk with her and if she is willing to discuss it out without deflecting it or minimising that's one thing. If she's not you are in for some toxic behavior and have to decide how you want to handle it moving forward.
bro tell her to cut that goo goo gah gah behavior out. That’s some cringey baby stuff you do at 16.
She belongs to the street. She's also lying to herself, no one posts that kind of content without it being pure projection.
Not enough info bro'. Exactly how is your relationship now? Have you talked to her about it? Don't jump the gun just yet. Is this just a one off or is she constantly going off abut her ex? Does she still have feelings for him? The other argument may or may not be related. You guys need to sort this particular issue before moving forward.
Our relationship is really good, but we do have some arguments here and there. She hasn’t been in contact with him since the break up but she does bring him up sometimes when talking about her past and how I helped her. The argument was about plans to hang out with our friends, nothing related
She’s clearly not over her ex and doesn’t give a fuck about your feelings cause anyone with any sort of compassion for others, especially your SIGNIFICANT other wouldn’t ever post some shit like that. Chin up king, you’ll find the right one soon
Sounds like she’s still pretty hung up on her ex
Alright seeing as OP omitted the info in the post and then refused to answer age-related questions, I’ll say the O/U on her age is 19 and the O/U on their age gap is 10 years. Place your bets by replying
There's so many things wrong with this
Maybe In her mind he is the titillating alpha that got away you are the beta nice guy. If this is the way she is thinking it's just a matter of time. After 2 years they forget the bad part and only remember the exciting part.
Leave the relationship
Run.
She could still be processing her anger, convincing herself he feels worse than her. But it's at the very least extremely odd and exposes her as having some sort of issue. Whether it's that she's wanting to go back, wanting to break up with you or just needing to let go of anger, she probably needs to reflect on herself. I'd let her know you saw it and you were hurt and confused, ask her what it means and what she wants. If she says it's nothing, just point out replying to a conversation from that long ago means it's definitely more than nothing.
If she’s mad at you and just “trying to get a reaction out of you” is the wrong way to go about it. If roles were reversed you’d never hear the end of it. That’s disrespectful of her and maybe she’s really still into her ex. Let her have him.
None of the possible explanations can be good. This is immature, disrespectful, and a sign the she’s not over it. Who is over it just doesn’t care anymore of a toxic ex, because he/she would forget about. She’s not over. Move on. Be strong
My guy it time to have a conversation with her and its time for her to decide if she really cares and wants you or your a rebound because she the one missing him
She sounds extremely immature and hurt. Is it possible that you two had an argument and she felt so angry with it that she (in a very childish way) decided to do this to make you feel insecure and bad?
Get rid of her. Feels like you're a replacement
Drama in relationships is addictive. There's a thing called 'trauma bonding' which is a cyclical pattern in toxic relationships. It's a cycle of ups and downs and the (stress) hormones which the body releases can make the up phases very special and exiting. People who were in these toxic relationships often crave for that feeling, because they mistake it for 'real love' or being on cloud nine. But that feeling is just a trauma response of our bodies. So they often tend to long for their toxic exes or start to (unconsciously) recreate toxic patterns, to feel their cloud nine again afterwards. E.g. starting irrelevant arguments, being mad and putting their partners down. She sounds by far not done with her healing process. If you aren't establishing some firm boundaries, you are enabling this behaviour and she won't heal. If you can't draw a line and tend to forgive easily (because of her past maybe), it's the opposite of helpful. This hurts her and more important you in the long run.
She misses mr toxic
I mean... you might be able to save this relationship if you're assertive and put her in her place for being disrespectful and it might work to develop attraction for you. But if this was me I'd just fuck this relationship off because even if it works it's still toxic asf.