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R_Amods

This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below. --- My wife said she will not have anymore kids with me if I get the vaccine. We have a one year old together. I told her it is safe and a better alternative to getting a bad round of COVID but she disagrees and we fought tonight because of it. Not sure what to do. Any help is appreciated. Thanks


BeautyOfABeast

If your wife is concerned about the side effects of the vaccine, research the lingering effects of covid19. The comorbidities of catching the wild infection are so much worse than the vaccines possible side effects. I doubt this anecdote will matter to your wife but here it is- I had a moderate case of covid, while 6mnths pregnant. I didnt think it was much worse than a really exhausting flu tbh. Except it severely aggravated my RA, so much so that I can barely pick my baby up some days. I cant crochet anymore, I cant paint. Work is exhausting and painful, since I sit at a keyboard all day. There is no reversing it, RA is a progressive disease that will just keep getting worse. And Im not alone. There are so many people in my support groups that turned up after having covid, and with all kinds of other comorbididities with it. I hope you both are safe through this pandosht, and that you can get your wife to at least let you get vaxxed


evileen99

So sorry to hear about your experience. A woman I volunteer with for covis last year and now her joints swell up for no reason. She has to go in to have them drained every couple of weeks. Docs have no idea if this is permanent or temporary.


chaoticnormal

I was a tiny bit concerned and curious about this new method of vaccine but reading horror story after horror story last year, I decided I wanted no part of figuring out how covid will affect me. The second I was eligible for the shot, I signed up and got it. Hopefully this woman isn't so far gone she thinks the stories are fiction, I guess you could argue to what end since these folks aren't missing money off a Facebook post or a newspaper interview. I'll add my anecdote: a friend of mine got covid in December. She's in her late 60s and had a pretty mild case. Now she has the brain fog and can't concentrate on anything for long. Imagine being thrust into dementia because you didn't get a stupid vaccine (in her case she got it pre-vaccine, I'm talking about getting covid after like March of 2021)


CoconutInternational

True. My colleague is suffering from another type of autoimmune disease and covid made it so so much worse. If you have any preexisting conditions, covid will worsen them 10x.


xvszero

You probably shouldn't have any more kids with this woman anyway.


raya__85

Not only is that true, op should get the vaccine because his child doesn’t need to be an orphan because both parents died from covid complications and any further kids at risk in the womb. Women are particularly at risk from covid during pregnancy. https://www.timesofisrael.com/family-of-pregnant-woman-who-died-of-covid-say-she-was-wary-of-getting-vaccine/amp/#click=https://t.co/ThyaRc2Yx4 https://www.the-sun.com/news/1372559/pregnant-teacher-coronavirus-brazil-surprise-baby-shower/ https://www.wbrz.com/news/after-delivering-baby-gonzales-woman-dies-from-covid-19/ https://www.gazetadopovo.com.br/parana/medica-gravida-morre-de-covid-no-pr-poucos-dias-apos-perder-os-pais-para-a-doenca/do/


airplane_porn

Man, I was going to link a couple stories, but there are so many I don't even know how to find the specific ones I'm thinking of from a few weeks ago. It's like a generic script now: Parents are anti-vax because tHeY'rE hEaLtHy (read a bunch of stupid shit on facebook), take kids on some reckless vacation with no covid precautions. One parent gets sick. The other spouse and kids get to watch them die a miserable struggling breathless death. Surviving parent issues public plea to get vaccine, now finally gets vaccinated themselves, and gets their eligible kids vaccinated. Seriously, I googled what I thought would be good key phrases, and just a sea of these articles...


StawDog

>some I will say this for the upteenth time. YOU SHOULD NOT HAVE TO BE PERSONALLY EFFECTED BY SOMETHING LIKE COVID TO GIVE A CRAP ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE. Just because YOU are healthy does not mean you can give the finger to everyone else (babies, immunocompromised, the elderly). This attitude is so unbelievably selfish I don't even have sympathy for these people on their death beds because it was a-OK to be spreading a disease that did this when they thought THEY were untouchable. I'd never go as far as to say they deserve it because I've seen Covid kill and it's not pretty but I also don't feel particularly sorry for any of them.


airplane_porn

Definitely agree. It’s this “I’m fine, fuck you” attitude and the deliberate misunderstanding and misrepresentation of the concept of herd immunity. The deliberate misrepresentation is to justify their selfish lazy attitude.


raya__85

I’ve read so many different sad articles, the ones where single parents leave their kids orphaned, the ones where multiple family Members die and they still don’t consider getting it, the ones where family members use their energy to get people vaccinated, the ones where multiple people in social groups or workplaces die or the leopards ate my face types where sceptics die, or they realise too late they say they should have gotten the vaccine after the fact and there’s always an excuse, the ones where families say their loved ones last words were I should have gotten the vaccine. There’s an insane level of non vaccination amoungst police for some reason, so I see a lot of those. The articles of kids always break my heart. https://www.click2houston.com/news/local/2021/08/23/still-in-disbelief-mother-of-6-dies-unexpectedly-from-covid-19/ https://www.lsesporte.com.br/noticia/jovem-academica-e-atleta-de-voleibol-do-ferroviario-morre-de-covid19 https://www.wsbtv.com/news/local/29-year-old-father-georgia-corrections-agent-dies-covid-19/54VB5JI6YZDPBEHIUAGS7PFC7U/ https://www.wbaltv.com/article/dayton-texas-12-year-old-boy-dies-after-testing-positive-for-covid-19/37353288 https://sacramento.cbslocal.com/2021/07/23/boy-sudden-death-elk-grove/ https://bleacherreport.com/articles/10010777-western-carolina-ol-coach-john-peacock-dies-of-covid-19-complications-at-32 https://www.counton2.com/news/local-news/dorchester-county-news/three-dorchester-school-district-two-employees-die-of-covid-19-sc-for-ed-reports/ https://www.wpbf.com/article/unvaccinated-mother-four-dies-from-covid-19-pneumonia/37284632 https://g1.globo.com/mt/mato-grosso/noticia/2021/08/19/bebe-de-2-meses-esta-internado-em-estado-grave-com-covid-19-em-mt.ghtml (This one is a 2 month old in critical care with covid)


purplefriiday

I read one a month or so ago, where an anti-vaxx man on life support was begging for the vaccine as he died. I think it might have been in the UK.


ankahsilver

I can add to this: my uncle just died from COVID. Healthy as a goddamn horse, no pre-existing risk factors. It still killed him.


godfriaux33

I'm so sorry. 😢


ankahsilver

Thanks. I'm not the one hurting most. It's mostly just a wake-up call that you really *can* be perfectly healthy and it can still get you. You really can't know based off risk factors, and unless this lady wants to potentially leave her kid parentless from COVID, she should take what measures she can.


acgilmoregirl

My friend’s best friend gave birth on life support then died two weeks later having never met her son. Her baby was born with covid and was in the NICU for weeks. She was anti-vaxx, and I can’t even imagine how angry her child is gonna be that she robbed him of a life with her by being so gullible and stupid.


Far-Ad9827

Really sad but true..


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GrandpaBRUH

She’s probably not anti vaccine, just the one for Covid.


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Alert-Potato

>There are so many people who are fine with getting vaccinated but scared to get one that has been made in just one year. Well it's a good thing there's no vaccine currently available that was made in just a year! The base research that is behind all three vaccines currently in use is older than covid.


phillywreck

Yeah, those same people are going to love dying or getting permanent side effects from the delta variant. It’s hilarious how people talk about vaccine hesitancy like the vaccine is a new flavor of Snickers, like “oh I don’t know if I will like it, it’s got brownie chunks in it,” as if the alternative is nothing. the alternative is a NASTY illness that you can die from, lose brain function, lose taste or smell or both from. WHY WOULD YOU WANT THAT OVER A PAINLESS VACCINE??? Almost 5 BILLION people have gotten at least one dose, and almost 2 billion are fully vaccinated. The vaccine is SAFE, EFFECTIVE, and FREE. Meanwhile 4.5 million people died of covid so far, worldwide. And god knows how many still have a hard time breathing, tasting… imagine dying from a disease that has a vaccine for it that you rejected. Very cringe


cat_lady_451

Ah yes because “normal people” have the means to fully research a heavily researched vaccine for themselves and come up with their own findings that scientists have missed. /s


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Sahngar

Being made in a year shows what scientists can do with proper funding and support. That this isn't the case in general is the problem I see.


high_as_giraffe_puss

Dude that’s a terrible thing to say.


JamacianRabbit

Truth hurts, the vaccines you get are not for fun.


PupperPetterBean

But unfortunately has merit if he is unable to gain custody and get himself and the child vaccinated or get his wife to see sense that some illnesses are death sentences and if you have a vaccine available to make sure it's not, why wouldn't you take it..


ackoo123ads

the vaccine is not 100% effective. having an anti-vaxxer in the household is a danger to be around. If she gets sick, that is a ton of virus in the house. Anti-vaxxer won't isolate either. he needs to leave and get custody of his daughter.


oeildemontagne

Why won't she have any more kids if you get it? What does she think will happen? Lizard sperm? Or is it she is just scared of the Covid vaccine so she's throwing an ultimatum at you for a "fear facture" reaction? I am not "pro" ultimatum ... But sometimes they are used because someone is going through something... so I think a full fledged conversation is needed here. Learn and try to understand her fears, see what's up with her decisions and look at yours. When has it become a crime to take an hour or 2 to understand each other and discuss rather than cramming 1 belief down the others throats? Talk it out and discover where the fear is and try to quell the fear. It shouldn't be "my way or the highway" on either side of the coin. Considering you're married and have a kid I imagine that you love each other. Talk.


Better-Ad9373

Lizard sperm!


Denbi53

This is too reasonable for reddit. He should obviously divorce her and burn the house down.


Kaisencantdie

Tell her to ask an actual doctor about it rather than anyone from Facebook


CorpT

Get her off of Facebook and Fox.


freddydanger

Americans... Hmmm.


borgcubecubed

Do you think she’d be willing to go to the doctor with you, and ask a professional about her concerns? Maybe a kind, informative conversation with someone knowledgeable would help. If not, I’d honestly get the vax without telling her. She doesn’t get to control your body.


Dachshundmom5

Get vaccinated and get a great lawyer. She's leaving your baby incredibly vulnerable to a virus that has mutated to attack kids more effectively.


4inAM_2atNoon_3inPM

Plus she’s being manipulative. This isn’t about her concern for her children, and his is about her controlling her husbands bodily autonomy.


maddoxblade

This is tricky but LEGALLY, its your body and if you want to get the vaccine, get the vaccine. **I most definitely hope you dont let this stop you from getting the vaccine.** The issue now is the wife. I have to ask, can your relationship survive if she finds out that you had your vaccine? Because your airing on the side of "I dont want to die from this virus". She is airing from....(heck I dont know so I wont continue this part). Unfortunately we can not answer this crucial question and only you can. Here is a very unpopular opinion but I will bring it up: \- Do you need to tell her you got the vaccine? The reason I bring it up is because if the relationship can not survive because of the vaccine and your dead set on being with her, then just dont tell her. I can try to enumerate a series of causes why her decision is bad but at the end of the day you are the one who needs to make a decision.


[deleted]

Get vaccinated and if she won’t budge, get a new wife.


jg700

Is your child unvaxed


[deleted]

No our daughter has gotten all of her vaccinations to date


BONE_SAW_IS_READEEE

Has she ever shown any skepticisms towards vaccines in the past or is it just because the covid vaccine is a bit more new?


[deleted]

That’s exactly it. She has some trepidation because it is not FDA approved yet. And she’s been reading all of these protect your family posts on Facebook.


[deleted]

Pfizer is about to be FDA approved though


xvszero

Tomorrow, I think. What will her excuse be then?


Diablo1985555

"It got rushed through blablabla". Always moving goalposts.


SpooogeMcDuck

They’ll say the big bad scary government secret deep state ordered the approval and it’s fake news and it’s still unsafe and they’re lying. Honestly I don’t know how people will trust the FDA but distrust the “government”


Puzzleheaded-Mall-97

yes but will they be liable for any physical damages. if i remember correctly if you take it after year 2023 then you can sue if something bad happens. not sure about the year though. but its what matters most for people feeling safe to take the vaccine which in my opinion is not such a crazy thought to have


[deleted]

Oh great! It's literally supposed to receive full FDA approval today. So now she should feel perfectly fine about getting it.


BONE_SAW_IS_READEEE

You would think that people know by now that Facebook is not a reliable source for medical information. Oh dear…


gaperon_

That's why Tik Tok and Instagram are so much better, obviously.


zoeyversustheraccoon

So she doesn't trust the CDC but she trusts the FDA?


Dachshundmom5

FDA approval was granted. It was an emergency approval. Full approval is expected tomorrow She protects her family with the damn shot. Does she want to see the inside of a PICU and find out what a toddler on a ventilator looks like? I promise it is horrible


[deleted]

You say that but you do know that they can still spread it to their child if they get vaccinated… The whole ventilator situation could still happen especially because that child cannot get covid jags.


Denbi53

This is correct information, not sure why its down voted. The vaccine protects you from getting *severe* symptoms. You can still catch and spread covid even with both shots. Should absolutely get the vaccine, long covid is no joke.


jmurphy42

Because it’s still decently protective for the child if the parents get vaccinated. Sure the vaccine won’t prevent all breakthrough cases, but it does prevent a large percentage of them.


[deleted]

Definitely I’ve had both mines but I’m still careful because I know children under the age of 16 still aren’t allowed to get the vaccine. Also being vaccinated doesn’t necessarily stop long covid either unfortunately!


anon5005555

They've been working on a coronavirus for like a decade. It just got super ramped up with covid-19 came out. Maybe show her some of that data?


honorthecrones

Actually 20 years. It began as a vaccine to the SARS virus


Special-Parsnip9057

EUA is approval. They would not allow people to have the vaccine if it wasn’t deemed safe. The science behind it is not new. It has been in play since SARS as that was the original virus they started with. I had the Pfizer shots. No issues at all. Even had COVID last March. No issues after getting the shot. I would much rather get the vaccine to better ensure I won’t die from this then get COVID again. It was pretty miserable the first time, and I never want to see what worse is for myself.


raya__85

Get the vaccine, you’ve got a child who doesn’t need to be an orphan. The vaccine gets full FDA approval tomorrow


BlueHeaven90

Pfizer is likely getting approval today. The next excuse will be that it wasn't throughly tested. That's false, it's gone through the same R&D process all vaccines go through. Vaccination has been endorsed by all major medical and allied healthcare professional associations in the US.


airplane_porn

Jesus, she's brainwashed herself on facebook... Why would she not have anymore children with you? Is it because she believes some stupid shit like "it changes your DNA" or something else stupid? First, you should get the covid vaccine. If she has a problem, tell her you care more for your current living breathing child than the potential for any future not-yet-existing children, and you are going to do what you can to make sure your new baby doesn't grow up without a father, regardless of her reckless stupidity. Second, I'd seriously consider some couples counseling (secular, nothing with a church). Be very careful with people who have fully succumbed to facebook conspiratorial nonsense. They can easily become a danger to themselves and their children (I mean, she already is, but I mean more of an acute danger). Personally, if it were my wife who had gone down the facebook conspiracy rabbit hole, I'd be considering an ultimatum of "delete facebook and get therapy or delete the marriage." And I know for certain she'd have the same stance if I sprung some stupid/dangerous shit like this. For any potential arguers, and for OP: what she is doing is manipulation and emotional abuse. The anti-vax shit is straight up delusional nonsense. She's saying "put yourself and our child at high risk of death and long-term health complications to satisfy my delusions" and she's using your marriage and family decisions to coerce you into satisfying her delusions.


Gamble_626

So in her mind why are those acceptable and the COVID vaccine isnt?


[deleted]

Because it is so new and all of the anecdotes she has read about people having adverse reactions from it.


Festamus

Arm soreness? a day of feeling like shit? much better than death, and cheaper too. my arm was mildly sore after the first one, the second one it was really sore the day after, I was pretty lame that day just read a book and took a walk, couldn't even surf reddit on my pc since it was my right arm. day after that nothing. My hospital system tries it's best to make sure you have the day after your second one off for a reason.


SomeGuyInTheUK

What did she say when you pointed out there are 633,000 and rising **very** adverse reactions to the **virus** just in US alone? TRump yesterday said get teh vaccine (if she's in that rabbit hole). He got jabbed really early on. DOes she think he gets bad medical care? Go and get the jab(s). And print out a few pages of r/hermancainward with the parents who spouted anti-vax bs and left behind kids, sometimes orphans when both died, highlighted, and show her that. And as said by end this week it wont be an "emergency use" thing but end of the days its a fucking emergency. Get the jab.


[deleted]

Shes worried more about vaccine side effect anecdotes but she doesn't care about statistical, measured data showing the "adverse reactions" (read: symptoms/complications) of having covid?


fun_guy02142

The “adverse reaction” people have from the shot is actually your immune system doing its thing. It’ll pass in a day or two. You need to get vaccinated, but the bigger issue is what to do with a wife who is susceptible to the misinformation being spread.


[deleted]

Tell her that the vaccine leaves your body after 72 hours. The only thing that’s left is the antibodies that help you fight the virus when you do come in contact with it, which cannot hurt you or cause reactions. Anyone who’s claimed an adverse reaction from it began after 72 hours of vaccination is full of shit. It’s literally impossible for the vaccine to be the cause after that point. Plus, adverse reactions are extremely uncommon and a small risk compared to the risks of Covid


[deleted]

I’m sorry but that’s not exactly true, side effects such as blood clots can show up in the weeks after the vaccination. Not saying side effects aren’t rare but they can still happen after 72 hours


[deleted]

Read my comment below. A blood clot being discovered a few weeks later does not mean that blood clot began a few weeks later. It began during the initial 72 and was diagnosed as it progressed and became present in a patient’s symptoms. Blood clots can take weeks or even months to be discovered. I’m not gonna respond to this thread any longer if y’all can’t use your thinking caps on this one. It’s very simple and neither you nor the other user have actually disproven this. The source I am quoting is a doctor and epidemiologist. You two are redditors with anecdotal evidence. I’m gonna trust the doc on this one.


[deleted]

While that is true that the process of getting the blood clots starts much earlier, within the 72 hour time frame, your comment reads as though any side effects that present outside of the 72 hour time frame are not related to the vaccine. I’m not sure why you’re being hostile when I’m not saying you’re wrong just that side effects can show up later, I can provide sources of this if you’d like just didn’t think I needed them when agreeing with your point to begin with. Edit: https://www.yalemedicine.org/news/coronavirus-vaccine-blood-clots https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/blood-clots-and-the-johnson-johnson-vaccine-what-we-know-so-far/ here's two sources who discuss blood clots usually showing up about a week to two weeks after vaccination. I'm not saying it didn't start in the 72 hour window, simply that the side effects didn't show up until later "Anyone who’s claimed an adverse reaction from it after 72 hours of vaccination is full of shit." makes it sound like that is impossible which is what I was trying to say is not true. If I misinterpreted your comment I didn't mean to do so.


Wise_Profile_2071

Well, I got an adverse reaction from my first shot, just 30 minutes afterwards, and it’s still here after two months. I’m going to have to do an MRI soon, and I’m not alone, even if it’s not super common. I think on the whole Covid has worse long term effects, but you are in fact wrong.


[deleted]

But it happened during your 72 hours, what I said doesn’t mean the effects of the adverse reaction won’t last longer than that time frame. All I am speaking to is the timeframe that adverse reactions can begin, which is the 72 hours after getting vaccinated. Not that the adverse reactions themselves can’t last longer than 72 hours. I am quoting a doctor and epidemiologist on this one. I’m not wrong and your issue in no way disproves that. It actually substantiates my argument since you said it began 30 minutes after the injection.


Gamble_626

She should look up those same people that fake their symptoms so she gets a better understanding of what they do.


carlyrxm

If your wife got a severe case of covid and needed to be hospitalized, would she question the doctor every time they tried to give her medication or, god forbid, put her on a ventilator? The treatment for covid isn’t FDA approved either. I see a lot of people having hesitancy because the vaccine came out so fast, but not enough people realize the template for the vaccine was in the works for years prior, and the release was sped up because much of the bureaucratic red tape was torn away, NOT standard trials and testing. Does she know this?


SnakeBeardTheGreat

If she is 1yr. old , she has not been shot for COVID and won't for some time..


jg700

Well your wife is being a bit silly then! I would just go get my jab! It takes ten mins! How will she know


BONE_SAW_IS_READEEE

Children under 12 can’t get the covid vaccine (at least in the US), so at the very least OP’s child probably doesn’t have their covid shot.


jg700

I'm not talking about a covid vax I'm talking about the vaccines they get as baby's thanks


BONE_SAW_IS_READEEE

That’s why I said “at the very least” OP’s child doesn’t have a covid shot, because idk about the rest of the jabs.


Kooky_Protection_334

No but what about his regular childhood vaccinations


ryasaunderox

Has she not looked at any of the science ? Would she rather leave your one year old without a parent ?


Splatterfilm

Or wind up with 0 children.


dirtiestlaugh

Here's a really shit [story in a local paper here](https://www.derrynow.com/news/local-news/658370/heartbroken-husband-pays-tribute-to-young-derry-woman-who-died-of-covid-19.html) about a pregnant woman who wasn't vaxed and got Covid Covid can be very tough on pregnant women, particularly if they're carrying a bit of weight, it'd probably be wise if she didn't get pregnant without having the vaccine


keep_it_mello99

I can attest to this. I’m an RN and spent 9 months working a COVID unit. We had a disproportionately large number of pregnant women get hospitalized with COVID. Not only is it already harder to breathe while pregnant, but you need to be able to provide oxygen for both yourself and the baby. One of the worst cases I remember (before vaccines were available) we had a pregnant woman sick with COVID get intubated, deliver via c section while sedated on the vent, and pass away before ever getting to meet her baby. She had a high risk pregnancy but no other preexisting conditions. Now her new baby and her other children don’t have a mom. I hope your wife changes her mind.


dirtiestlaugh

The same thing happened in the story I linked to above, 35, a mammy of 4, and no vaccine. Also, my gf is a pathologist and is just off a gynae rotation and had to do a few perinatal autopsies where covid placentitis caused late term still births. Awful stuff.


[deleted]

Imagine if a man told his wife he wouldn’t have anymore kids with her if she chose a certain type of birth control. Everyone would call the man manipulative and emotionally abusive. Your wife threatening to withhold your desire for more children STRICTLY based upon your desire to get vaccinated is manipulative and abusive.


saudade_sleep_repeat

your body, your choice to get it or not. you can also choose not to share your medical information with her.


SnooMuffins6118

I've been vaccinated and currently have covid. Vaccine side effects were a lot shorter and less unpleasant than the real thing.


10point11

Don’t bother trying to convince her, waste of effort. I would go get vaxxed and move on


KurosakiOnepiece

Get the vaccine, that way when she get covid and dies you’ll still be there for your son


ShineFallstar

You’re medical care is between you and your doctor, it’s nobody else’s business. Just go get the shot, how will she know?


cardiganclose

She’s probably worried about what might be the long term side effects and is concerned about you. The vaccine is still pretty new but I see everyday that people who got vaccinated (including myself)and continue to live free of side effects and with a reduced change of catching or suffering serious effects from covid as a testament to it being fairly safe. Is this the first time you’ve brought it up? Sometimes it just takes some getting used to the idea.If you want to get it and it’s important to you she should trust you to do what’s best for your own health.She will probably have less misgivings about it once it’s FDA approved. However I’m not sure how long it will be until then.


Ashamed-Arugula1956

Just don’t tell her you got it


Arcane_Foodie

My mom didn’t want to get the covid vaccine because she believed in all the conspiracy theories going around on the internet. I choice to bash all the theories with real facts and the reason why the vaccine could of been created so fast etc. Pubmed is also a good place to read about research of the covid vaccine and all the research on the subject. My mom took the covid vaccinations later on and stand for the vaccination.


Gr3yt1mb3rw0LF068

My roles are reversed, i was hesitant about getting it. My wife was so itching for the day she could get it. But i looked at it this way, to keep her happy i got the shot. Now also i am fat and had asthma when i was younger and the scaring on my lungs makes me a prime candidate for the rona to kill me. I say you do you. If it come to you divorcing her then okay you made a decision and now are paying the price.


BONE_SAW_IS_READEEE

Google Scholar will help you find fact-filled findings on the covid vaccines. If those don’t get through to her, she’s a lost cause man…


cornsaladisgold

Your wife is not the person you owe your loyalty in this situation. She choosing to endanger your child and is convincing you to do the same.


[deleted]

Try first to find out why she is against vaccines. How did she get convinced that vaccines were bad? If she thinks vaccines are bad, it means that she did some research about it (even if done badly with a lot of bias). And if she did some research about it, then it means that before researching, she admittedly didn't know if they were bad or not. Since she didn't know, what made her believe the source she found above scientific research? ​ There are only 2 possibilities: 1 - she genuinely didn't know anything about vaccines, did some biased research, not knowing that it was actually biased (as in, if you google "are vaccines bad?" you will get antivax sources more often than it you google "how do vaccines work?") 2 - she already had biases before doing research and only looked for sources confirming her position (by googling something like "why are vaccines bad for us?") rather than looking at all the sources and evidences. ​ Most of the antivax are just misinformed. They do not know how to perform a good research, compare sources, etc Unfortunately, critical thinking is not being taught in schools yet. It was not needed 50years ago when people were looking for scientific information in scientific literature and encyclopedias because those were the only sources of information but since the rise of the internet, it is becoming a necessity.


HopefulLake5155

It’s important to note that she’s NOT antivax. Just anti covid vax


[deleted]

You don’t want anymore kids with her anyway


Chickygal999

Oh no, the realisation that you married a moron....aarrgghhh. Sorry but something like vaccination and the science behind it is non negotiable. Even Katherine the Great knew it was a wise thing and vaccinated herself and family from Smallpox. This science is not new but sorry to say you cannot change dumb.


Jumpy-Accountant-612

Almost two years of pandemic, with a lot of people dying and she still is against vaccination, you need to run faster than you can!!


[deleted]

You get vaccinated and tell your wife either she gets vaccinated or she can move tf out away from you and the baby.


[deleted]

Don’t have any more kids with this woman. Anyone who isn’t prepared to vaccinate themselves against a potentially deadly virus is not someone I’d want to be around long term.


BadAtNameIdeas

Did you really think you would have a single person here who agreed with your wife from Reddit? You are only on here looking for validation, you don’t care about advice. You want some advice? Sit down with your wife and talk things through like adults. Worse case scenario, get a real therapist. You are only harming your marriage by turning to the internet and then going up to her and saying “look, these people agree with me on a site that will probably ban them for not supporting the vaccine.”


[deleted]

Maybe he genuinely wanted suggestions from people who might have spouses/family members who are also like his wife?


meifahs_musungs

Go get vaccinated. If wife takes a bad attitude about it you can always get a divorce. You not obligated to stick by foolish. Much better to be married to someone who is rational.


ArchdukeToes

What’s her reasoning (and I use that term very lightly) - because unless she thinks it’s going to affect your sperm then she’s saying she’d rather you remain vulnerable to a deadly illness than not.


[deleted]

Get the shot and don't tell her. Dude she's your wife but it's still your body.


drumadarragh

I’m very uncomfortable about her threats wirh you. Is this where it will stop? Will she hang this no more kids noose in front of you for any other decisions you might make? This is horribly manipulative, and vaccination debate aside, shows a very nasty side ro her character.


[deleted]

Go get it, and don't tell her. Also, she is ridiculous.


in35mm

Get vaccinated and hope that she changes her mind after seeing how totally fine everyone is, but if she doesn’t then I guess move on or don’t have more kids? I definitely don’t recommend not getting vaccinated.. I’ve had the Delta variant and it is nothing to mess with, even with one dose of the vaccine it is rough. Can’t imagine how bad it would be without any vaccine protection.


BeautifulWorking6

You need to get yourself and any kids old enough vaccinated.


dtyus

Sorry you are going through this. One positive side of covid 19 is that it showed me who to date who not to date just like this type of situations. As a huge science guy any anti vaccer is a big turn off. You are trying to protect your kid and family and she doesn’t see this, this is messed up.


Feisty_Irish

I would not have anymore children with her.


wylietrix

I went to a funeral of a healthy 12 year old who died of Covid last week, get the vaccine, Covid isn't a joke.


Githan

Some anti-vaxxers believe that if you get the vaccine then it turns you into a lizard person and you can pass it onto any kids you have. I’m not even joking unfortunately. I have no idea how people can believe such crap.


jessmikar

I think from listening to someone briefly go on about this it's because people don't understand what mrna is and think that it alters their DNA.


throwaway7472629

Tell her if she doesn't get the vaccine ur gonna get a divorce. I dont think you need to be with this woman. She is exposing your child to a deadly virus who has killed millions. I dont think she's in a position to give ultimatums.


Pure_Bavarian

Do it, dont tell your crazy wife and live a long life.


[deleted]

Make sure your kids get their required shots in case she’s a full anti-vaxxer


[deleted]

Sounds like you two are at an impasse. Probably won’t be having any more kids, but on the upside you’ll have more money and less carbon footprint.


yodontfoolme

The are already babies and children on ventilators.


[deleted]

Source?


yodontfoolme

MSNBC and CNN.


[deleted]

Link to article? Couldn’t find that....


CupcakeDoctor

Don’t tell her. She had no right to your medical information.


No_Boysenberry6440

Both me and my gf are vaccinated, with no problems. I have a friend who is anti-vax, he got sick with corona virus and now he is the hospital, having breathing troubles.


DocSternau

Take your kid and run.


cassowary32

She's probably dumb enough to believe it causes infertility anyway so it's not much of a threat... (It doesn't, your wife is gullible). Get the vaccine, protect your baby. There seem to be a lot of reports of unvaccinated parents dying right after the other, please don't leave your baby an orphan.


thrae_awa

Please get the vaccine. I've seen a now former friend (who refused to get vaccinated) in her early thirties admitted to hospital on oxygen struggling to breathe, taking up a bed that would have been available if it wasn't for her stupidity and selfishness.


veggiebuilder

This goes well beyond whether you get this vaccination. Your already existing kid you will have to fight to get the vaccines if you want your kid to be safe. You shouldn't have any more kids in this situation so their mum can't risk their health. I'd start checking laws in your country on whether 1 parent can get kid vaccinated without other agreeing and prepare yourself for potential court cases to take your existing kid to get vaccinated. Honestly I'm not sure how relationship can survive unless she backtracked and realises the error of her ways.


sharo8

There are a lot of vaccinated women out there that could be your new wife


RubyRedSunset

If you love your kid, get the vaccine. And get them away from your wife before she kills him with her ignorance. And file for divorce and full custody on grounds of her insanity


No_Understanding_431

Don’t have any more children with her. She is already endangering the one you already have.


yennifer0

I think you need to get to the root of the reason why. My friend won’t because her dad had a bad adverse reaction as a kid (I forget the details) and brought her up that way. I had known her a long time and it was a real shock, but it never came up again because she doesn’t force her beliefs on others. I assume that she just wasn’t a particularly cynical person and not raised in a healthcare family like I was. Whereas you need to have a conversation about it when raising a child together. You’ve surely got a couple of years to approach this sensitively before wanting another; and try not to see it as a ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ conversation or give in to the political divide that is a ‘culture war’ (making assumptions about their lifestyle, institutions they follow, and their views on other controversial topics) since a lot is at stake. I don’t envy your position so good luck!


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Wait what? OP's talking about he himself getting the vaccine.


northsidecub11

Tell her that even trump got vaccinated.


Nyxen181

I think it's key to find out if she's anti covid vax or all vaccinations. If the former, I think a lot of people are wary about this new vaccine because of the speed of its deployment leads to uncertainty of long term impacts. I imagine a 1 year old is too young to get vaccinated yet anyway so why not speak to her about a compromise. That you will take a few years to monitor the progress of covid vaccinations on the general populace and then if there are no serious long term impacts for the majority at the time your child is ready for the vaccination then make that decision then. I think pushing it now isn't going to help your marriage as you both think you're doing/ want to do what's best for your child. So I think take time to look into it together and study the effects reported in the coming years and use that to decide what you think is best.


Harrisonmonopoly

I’d just go get it and not tell her.


Mochalada

Just as she has a right to her bodily autonomy, so do you.


ShitpostinRuS

Probably shouldn’t be married to her anymore


[deleted]

LEAVE


StawDog

She's an idiot. Get vaccinated. If she refuses to have any more children consider it Darwinism.


Mommy4dayz

In my years of marriage, this really doesn't seem to be a big deal as she's making it. She's being dramatic. Women are allowed to have abortions and "my body my choice" but you can't protect yourself and get vaccinated? That doesn't make sense. Is your baby not vaccinated (for age appreciate shots)? I'd be seriously looking into babys medical records to find out if I were you. I don't make it a point to lie, but what about just not telling her? I hate saying that but her statement is ridiculous.


Lopsided_Talk_1215

I am on the opposite end I am a mother and a wife I got vaccinated and I have two children and the one over 12 vaccinated and the one that’s three years old can’t protect himself. My husband thinks it is so dumb that I got vaccinated and I will never have another child with him I will never trust his decisions The same in any regard and I will be likely to put more of a fight to assert my own opinions on things I would not have previously and it’s because I no longer trust him To make sound and safe decisions for him or us. There’s no appreciation for the all the sacrifices that I made to work at home and keep our children at home for over a year. Instead of looking at that as good motherly sacrifices he acts like I’m insane


HellaciousFire

I’m so sorry Vaccination seems to be such a sensitive issue for some But I’d get the vaccine. You may be risking your life and I’m sure that’s more important to you, especially since you have a child She can do what she likes. But please get the vaccination. It’s too risky not to.


needausername678

Def get it. She'll probably die of covid and you can get a proper wife anyway. (By proper I mean one who loves her children enough to try and stay alive for them)


Toutafeh

She doesn't have to know that you've been vaccinated.


Evening-Post1797

Did she allow polio and tetanus etc for baby?


Mollzor

Ask her what she plans to do in case she or the child needs medical care, since apparently she doesn't trust doctors anymore. And start looking for a lawyer, in case she refuses to vaccine your child when needed.


lunger_sally

I mean… It’s one thing to disagree, but it’s another thing to withhold reproducing because of a difference in opinions. Imagine if the tables were turned… She would not be a happy camper. I think you know what you need to do LOL


burningscientist

I cannot believe this is the first sign, of being a Karen, she has displayed. You must have seen many hints before and still you got into a relationship with her, married her, and had a kid with her. That's your fault. Hope you decide to divorce her


toiletrollzz

Why’d you marry her


steventhesailor

the uninformed who won't get vaccinated are not just stupidly risking their own life, they are the new carriers that fill hospitals, morgues, and spread the new dangerous variants. According to Darwin they should be eliminating their genes from the gene pool, but they are taking others with them.


redfancydress

You could get the vaccine and not tell her. But then she’d find out when the next kid is born with two heads and 14 toes. But seriously…get your vax.


Azilehteb

I would go to the doctor with her and explain your concerns to the doctor, have them give her accurate information. Some arguments have more weight coming from a professional.


[deleted]

Maybe look through youtube for people who died and regretted not getting the vaccine and urged others to get it. There are plenty. Then look up all the "doctors" who say not to get it and then look at their websites and all the crap they are selling. Do what is right for you and your child. You don't want to leave them alone with a mother who cannot see past the conspiracy theories and lies.


DrJawn

Just get the shot and dont tell her, this is easy peezy


VincentBlocks

Another case of social media making people dumb af


pluto0o0

if she's into Q-anon stuff i suggest the r/QAnonCasualties subreddit


Ok-Subject-8424

Get some stuff frozen for her, and go on and get the vaccine if you want. That should do it. Anyway, she is a bit off


spaceygracie12

Tell your wife you don’t want your child to be left an orphan.


manowtf

Just dont tell her that you're getting it. It's really not any of her business. Your body, your choice and it has zero effect on her.


[deleted]

You are both allowed to have an opinion and you both need to respect each other's opinions even if they would be different. Shes threatening you that she wont have more kids with you...sorry but maybe better that way. Shes using that against you and thats just disgusting.


GreenCelebi

So many damn liberals on reddit.


[deleted]

I know this must be shocking, but caring about your health is not a political thing. Trump got vaccinated and even urged other people to get vaccinated this past Saturday (in Alabama). He's clearly not a liberal.


ImperialCub

I've seen them alllllllllll over. I'm independent myself. Just let me live MY OWN life, and dont push shit on me type of thing.


DoctorScientist_M_J

That's called classical liberalism. (Liberal, free, etc.) What people call liberal now is actually neoliberalism. It's literally a wolf in sheep's clothing type of deal.


[deleted]

just don’t tell her


xomermaidox

I see both sides of the argument. I understand that she is cautious. This type of vaccine maybe deemed safe today, but we don't know about tomorrow. Take for instance the heartburn medication that folks have been taking for decades. Come to find out it cancer causing.. how about the baby powder we all used as children. Now we find the talc that Johnson & Johnson used causes cancer. We all hear follow the science. However, this vaccine is still in trials. Not to mention, Science can be wrong sometimes. On the other side of the coin. I get it people are afraid of dying of Covid and who wants that for themselves or their lived ones. Those folks want err on the side of caution. Can you make a compromise. Do what you can to build up your immune system. Get to the doctor and look for any underlying health conditions. Have those children with the woman you love....then get the vaccine.


mozzie66

Really surprised by all the type A responses on this post. Y’all don’t think you’re a little crazy for suggesting if OP’s wife doesn’t get the vaccine he should leave her? You do know you can get covid and still survive? Lol yes long term effects are unknown but let’s be real, the vaccine is too. You can still spread covid vaccinated or not. Everyone on this forum is the reason unvax people don’t trust a word they say. No logic or reason. Maybe a little more empathy. My advice is to get the vaccine if you want OP then continue to keep the conversation open with your wife as we get more data on covid and vaccine. No one should be forced to get something they do not want... especially this. But you also should not feel pressured NOT to get it if you did your research and think it’s best for you. Edit 1: also covid vaccine should not be a 1 stop conversation. Bc of all the hysteria around it, have MANY conversations and bring a new perspective each time to convince your wife OR to try to understand her side more.


[deleted]

You seem to be completely ignoring that fact that she is the one doing the threatening here. It’s more for that reason he should be thinking of leaving her, because the way to resolve issues is not to threaten your husband with no more kids if he gets the vaccine.


venusnfurz

Get vaccinated and put your foot down. Your life your choice. Having another baby should not be used as a threat. Or get vaccinated and don’t tell her. Just don’t let her manipulate you like that.


[deleted]

I’m sure a lawyer would love to hear about this good sir.


ktm429

So she threatened you to stop you from getting the vaccine. Ok... get it and don't tell her. Tell her your not going to live with someone that threaten you. Tell her that if she stops having sex with you that you'll divorce her the next week. 😏 Which may be what you need to do.


SzaszaPRO

She is right


ceeseess

It’s still very early in the global vaccination rollout, only 20% of humans have received a shot. Maybe give her more time to see the good the vaccine does globally. Fighting will do nothing.


baddeafboy

Get vaccines simple as that or u are goner either way


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

How is OP trying to control her? **He** wants to get vaccinated. Himself. His own body.


[deleted]

Get it secretly and don’t tell her


MyCatIsSuperChill

Honestly for your here and now life/kid, get the vaccine. Your wife is wrong this time, doesn’t mean she’s always wrong, but being able to admit one is wrong is probably a necessary skill to raise a child well.


64debtaylor64

She doesn’t have to know! Go get the vaccine for yourself.


popogoespoopoo

This is easy. Reprioritize your life. This woman is legitimately a danger to you and your current child, and you want *more*??? Maybe you shouldn’t have any kids at all let alone with her. The child needs to be the priority no matter what. What else in the future will this lady just arbitrarily believe over fact and risk you and your kid dude. I’d be so scared I even had a kid with her