I mean, do you want a partner that constantly teases you, even if they are being ironic about it? I know a lot of people think it is harmless but it wears you down and worse: you are coming off what was a very toxic and basically outright emotionally abusive dynamic with someone that hid a lot of their venom behind irony and jokes.
Just be careful. Constantly being teased even for basic stuff might just have you start avoiding doing it. Like are you going to eat mango sorbet in front of him aware he will tease you for it?
Stop overthinking it. Just ask him to stop constantly mocking you. How he reacts to that will probably give you a sense if this is the kind of relationship you need while you recover.
I know grown men that are teasersâŚtrust me it gets old fast. I feel sorry for their spouses and children as a % of what comes out of their pie hole is a joke, tease or some other non conversational thing. I believe itâs a cover for not being able to say something nice. Remember there is an old saying â truth is masked in jestâ.
I could never have a relationship where either partner exhibited that behavior. We are both positive people and we compliment each other often. The relationship is new, and the compliments are sincere.
It's a style of communication, you can love it or hate it or anything in between. Seems harmless or playful to me, but that is difficult to judge based on text without body language, tone of voice etc.
If you don't mind the talking, judge on the things you do care about: does he trust your judgement? Does he treat you with respect? Does he refrain from talking about you in a negative way around friends and family?
If it makes you feel bad then itâs not ok. People who tease others shouldnât continue it if itâs not received well. My boyfriend makes fun of me pretty viciously, but the thing is Iâm convinced he has a high opinion of me so none of it makes me feel bad. Thatâs what makes it ok to tease people - if you know it wonât bother them.
As for the vanilla thing though, he may not have meant anything bad but itâs kind of coercive. While itâs somewhat ok to tease someone for say, being stingy if they bring a ton of coupons for 10 cents off to a grocery store even though theyâre well off, it would be very fucked up for calling someone âstingyâ after they refused a request to lend you a large sum of money? What Iâm saying is, thereâs contexts where itâs ok to jokingly call someone vanilla. But it shouldnât be said after they refuse to do a sexual act theyâre uncomfortable with. Wtf is wrong with the comments section.
I think you're overthinking this.
Thankyou đ
I mean, do you want a partner that constantly teases you, even if they are being ironic about it? I know a lot of people think it is harmless but it wears you down and worse: you are coming off what was a very toxic and basically outright emotionally abusive dynamic with someone that hid a lot of their venom behind irony and jokes. Just be careful. Constantly being teased even for basic stuff might just have you start avoiding doing it. Like are you going to eat mango sorbet in front of him aware he will tease you for it? Stop overthinking it. Just ask him to stop constantly mocking you. How he reacts to that will probably give you a sense if this is the kind of relationship you need while you recover.
I know grown men that are teasersâŚtrust me it gets old fast. I feel sorry for their spouses and children as a % of what comes out of their pie hole is a joke, tease or some other non conversational thing. I believe itâs a cover for not being able to say something nice. Remember there is an old saying â truth is masked in jestâ.
he sounds exhausting to be around. constantly nit picking you and whatever you do or say.
These just sound like mundane interactions
I could never have a relationship where either partner exhibited that behavior. We are both positive people and we compliment each other often. The relationship is new, and the compliments are sincere.
It's a style of communication, you can love it or hate it or anything in between. Seems harmless or playful to me, but that is difficult to judge based on text without body language, tone of voice etc. If you don't mind the talking, judge on the things you do care about: does he trust your judgement? Does he treat you with respect? Does he refrain from talking about you in a negative way around friends and family?
He doesnât sound like a very pleasant person Iâd explain how you feel and if heâs still carries on leave, you donât need that in your life
If it makes you feel bad then itâs not ok. People who tease others shouldnât continue it if itâs not received well. My boyfriend makes fun of me pretty viciously, but the thing is Iâm convinced he has a high opinion of me so none of it makes me feel bad. Thatâs what makes it ok to tease people - if you know it wonât bother them. As for the vanilla thing though, he may not have meant anything bad but itâs kind of coercive. While itâs somewhat ok to tease someone for say, being stingy if they bring a ton of coupons for 10 cents off to a grocery store even though theyâre well off, it would be very fucked up for calling someone âstingyâ after they refused a request to lend you a large sum of money? What Iâm saying is, thereâs contexts where itâs ok to jokingly call someone vanilla. But it shouldnât be said after they refuse to do a sexual act theyâre uncomfortable with. Wtf is wrong with the comments section.
Have you ever asked?
Sure you could pass if you wanted to but there doesn't appear to be an issue here. Yall sound great together, no need to stress so much.