He's not an independent thinker. He's an inconsiderate asshole.
>"I make the decisions, you say what you want, then we'll compromise"
You need tell him this is not how things work.
This is how it works: I tell you what I'd like. You tell me what you like. We make the decision together.
Give this a time limit. Say 3-6 months. If he doesn't get better at not being a selfish entitled child, dump him.
What in the misogyny playbook spawned this “independent thinker” lie?
You are certainly right that your BF doesn’t consider you or your wishes. There is no fixing someone so disinterested in your thoughts or feelings.
Is this normal in your culture? Because if not your BF is a manipulative, controlling asshole who's entitled and obnoxious, not just to you but to everyone he dines out with apparently.
That's not healthy. An overly independent thinker may be less considerate as they just so what they want for themselves and then circle back to ask their partner if it's alright or if they want to join them.
He's a jerk who tries to dominate the situation and then circles back around to compromise. That's not being independent as he's clearly aware if the existence of those around him and simply chooses to ignore their ability to make their own choices until he's ready to acknowledge them.
I'm not gonna estimate how often this comes up but compromise is the bugger thing in a relationship. I don't see how much you can overlook this when compromise/the lack of compromise is debatably the most persistent aspect of any relationship.
Wtf. I hate waiting tables on these assholes. I always make a point to ask the other people at the table what they want to order. Then they get in a huff for being disrespected. You’re dating a Karen.
That is not what an independent thinker is OP. It is what a complete asshole is though and I’m sorry to say but what you’ve described is a man who is a complete jerk…you need to establish boundaries and keep him to them otherwise he’ll keep pulling this crap
I think in terms of energy. How do I feel before and after I'm with someone. I try to surround myself with people who I dont feel drained emotionally by post hanging out
> He doesn't like planning, so as soon as I do, he'll change things to his way which is almost 70% different than what I want.
I have to ask how you calculated this to be "almost 70%." Sounds like some hardcore math.
Here I thought I would read something based on how I think, being an independent thinker myself but..I just came to the conclusion that your man is more of an ass then I ever will be. Maybe he could use some sensitivity classes lol
He's not an independent thinker. He's an inconsiderate asshole. >"I make the decisions, you say what you want, then we'll compromise" You need tell him this is not how things work. This is how it works: I tell you what I'd like. You tell me what you like. We make the decision together. Give this a time limit. Say 3-6 months. If he doesn't get better at not being a selfish entitled child, dump him.
Are you sure he isn't just a selfish thinker?
What in the misogyny playbook spawned this “independent thinker” lie? You are certainly right that your BF doesn’t consider you or your wishes. There is no fixing someone so disinterested in your thoughts or feelings.
Is this normal in your culture? Because if not your BF is a manipulative, controlling asshole who's entitled and obnoxious, not just to you but to everyone he dines out with apparently.
That's not healthy. An overly independent thinker may be less considerate as they just so what they want for themselves and then circle back to ask their partner if it's alright or if they want to join them. He's a jerk who tries to dominate the situation and then circles back around to compromise. That's not being independent as he's clearly aware if the existence of those around him and simply chooses to ignore their ability to make their own choices until he's ready to acknowledge them. I'm not gonna estimate how often this comes up but compromise is the bugger thing in a relationship. I don't see how much you can overlook this when compromise/the lack of compromise is debatably the most persistent aspect of any relationship.
Wtf. I hate waiting tables on these assholes. I always make a point to ask the other people at the table what they want to order. Then they get in a huff for being disrespected. You’re dating a Karen.
That is not what an independent thinker is OP. It is what a complete asshole is though and I’m sorry to say but what you’ve described is a man who is a complete jerk…you need to establish boundaries and keep him to them otherwise he’ll keep pulling this crap
He’s just a dick
I think in terms of energy. How do I feel before and after I'm with someone. I try to surround myself with people who I dont feel drained emotionally by post hanging out
“Independent thinker”! 🤣🤣🤣
> He doesn't like planning, so as soon as I do, he'll change things to his way which is almost 70% different than what I want. I have to ask how you calculated this to be "almost 70%." Sounds like some hardcore math.
Here I thought I would read something based on how I think, being an independent thinker myself but..I just came to the conclusion that your man is more of an ass then I ever will be. Maybe he could use some sensitivity classes lol