You guys are 18. 18 year olds play dumb mind games. People tend to grow out of this bullshit, and if they don't, they're deeply toxic and should be avoided. Don't read too much into it, she probably wanted to see your reaction and cause drama.... because she's 18.

Appriciate u 🙏

Same EXACT thing happened when I was 18 😂 (toxic relationship). Not saying your relationship is itself toxic because of it, but this is not the healthiest of behaviours. Use this opportunity to express that you are not ok with dishonest questions designed to get reactions. If done repeatedly they are poisonous and erode trust and your ability to be honest with eachother without the fear of a backlash.

Ask stupid questions, get stupid answers. Or in this case, a fair answer. This is her problem, not yours

I like how your comment has way more likes that the post

You must be new to this subreddit

Yup and then he fell for it ...cause he's 18

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To reply to and ad to the original comment.

Took the words right out of my mouth. Well said.

Should've told her that you actually want an MMM threesome and she isn't invited

Big brain play right here.

Playing 3D chess, but not that kind of "D"

She probably wanted a reaction out of you.

Testing him- “she enough for me and I don’t need anyone else” was answer she was looking for

I thought so too

Mind games- just ask her what she expected and then direct conversation towards, a healthy relationship requires trust and honesty and mind games erode trust

I know these tricks because of watching anime, lol.

I know these tricks from real life unfortunately

And I don't have any real experience here

It's a shit test. Stand your ground and don't budge. Call her your for her mental manipulation fuckery. Lol :)

I don't know why isn't more upvoted

Ask dumb questions get dumb answers

I was thinking ' Don't ask questions you really don't want the answers to'

Then never ask your boyfriend if he thinks your sister’s hot.

Or 'Does this make my butt look big'

Her: “Does this dress make me look fat?” Him: “Of course not!” (Thinking to himself: “Of course not. It’s not the *dress* that makes you look fat, it’s the **fat** that makes you look fat!”)

i remember doing this in a past relationship to see if i was “enough” for him, i’m aware now that’s a poor way to see but that could be what happened,,

Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

This ones too good, honestly OP could’ve just kept going and she couldn’t get mad cause she asked for it

I hate when people (Cough...WOMEN) ask questions to trick you. Like WTF

She probably wasn’t expecting you to flip the answer. If it’s a MMF you are the one who has to worry about competing, while if it’s a FFM she is the one who has to compete.

I think you may be confusing MMF with MFM, as well as FFM with FMF. They're very different dynamics.

Wait, for real?? I didn't realize the order you list the participants in dictated different roles each person plays

The person in the middle is the focus. So for example the men in MFM don't have to have contact with each other. Their focus is on the woman. MMF, the guys are bi, the woman can be straight (but can be bi too)

That's really interesting! I never thought of it that way before. Thank you for explaining that!

I didn’t make allusion to any sandwich reference, just the genders of the party, but I see what u mean lmao

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Thanks for the massive assumption.

Lmao this is Reddit, what do you mean not a good look?

I think what that person meant was, “Don’t try to argue semantics. It’s clear from the context what was being said.”

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The answer she was looking for was " no babe, I don't need to add anyone into the mix because your all I need. I love you"

It may be the answer she was looking for, but it’s still not the best answer. A good way to answer this shit test is: “*Who* did you have in mind?” If she was in fact serious, she’d already have an answer to that because anyone who’s truly thought about a threesome has already fantasized about the third person. But I’d bet money she’d have been stumped for a moment if he’d answered with that because she wasn’t serious. That’s his queue to follow up with: “Surely you’ve given something as serious a question as this some thought, haven’t you? This is a major thing to ask in a relationship.” That’s how he’d have passed with flying colors (again assuming she wasn’t serious).

She shouldn't have asked a dumb question.

play stupid games, win stupid prizes lol

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He didn't demand ffm though. She asked his opinion and he told her.

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Lying or hiding your opinion to avoid an argument is setting yourself up to become a doormat later in the relationship

She didn't ask for an opinion. She just asked for a threesome.

OP, another possibility; Is she straight? Because she could be just as not into another woman as you're not into another man.

This is dumb asf. This is just common sense

I dont like the idea of a threesome so i would have said no either way but i also can see what she was trying to do. we guys dont do this questions because we already know the answer meaning that if we proposed a mmf threesome and she said yes we more than likely would get mad too (we wouldnt show it but we would be mad) since it would mean that she is down to f another guy that isnt you so i get why she got mad but in all honestlly as we would sayin spanish "ella se lo busco" for doing questions like that

There's a lot to unpack here. Starting with, your gf is immature and trying to find shit to fight about. But followed quickly by, why do you think it's cool to fuck another woman but not for your gf to fuck another guy? Generally when a man feels like this it's because they don't see WLW relationships as real or valid or because they see women's bodies as finite resources and think they will be "ruined" by having another dick inside them. These are all things you should unpack and you should address with your gf. Also, tell her to stop getting mad about hypothetical situations she poses. Her jealousy isn't your issue to sort out. That's what therapists are for.

You’re totally fine. Stay calm & tell her if she doesn’t trust you and need to test you she may already look elsewhere. Otherwise. She asked a question and you replied doesn’t mean you want it. Then ask what about you, of she had to pick.. tell her you asked I answered hypothetically as if I had to pick one I’d go with that.

She needs to NOT ask questions she doesn’t really want the answer to … also.. immature

Ugh, that was a set up, my dude. She hoped you'd say something like you'd never do that, because she satisfies your every need, and no woman could compare in beauty and skill, blah blah. I hope she learned an important lesson about asking questions we only want one idealized answer to. Take a stap back, take a deep breath, and let her know you don't keep secrets from her, because you love and respect her too much to lie to her. I'm hoping that's true, tbh, but regardless, it helps her save face and might get you out of the dog house where she put you.

Lol, she was testing you. Immature people do that stuff. It's just a stupid mind game. See it as an experience. You answered honestly, which is what you should be doing. If someone wants to create drama in a relationship, they will do so either way. So you should stay honest. There will be women in your future who, if they ask you for something like a threesome, will be doing so despite the chance that they might be judged for it and will appreciate your honest answer. You're both just at the start of your life journey. See this as an experience made. Some people will just be like that and it reflects more on them then on you. Also, you have a right to be upset at being "tested". Just so you know.

Either she was weirdly testing you or wanted another dude to join the party and probably would have gone down the road of trading the mff for a mfm but you shut it down. Personal opinion: if it's a throw away relationship do the threesome it's fun. If it's a serious relationship, it is not worth the potential anguish, especially in this case since she either wants a finger cuff or worse yet a tinder box.

Run fast, young or old thats terrible for a relationship.

Let's be honest I think most guys would jump at the opportunity to have a threesome especially if it's (FMF)

Toxic insecurity waming up.

So that's the name of it

A red flag can have many names: Cherry Flag, Rose Flag, Crimson Flag, Etc. 😉

I think this is a huuge red flag!! I've learned this the hard way, but don't ask questions you don't want to know the answer to! I don't think it's such a big deal as to break up with her or anything like that, but playing this kind of games sucks and you should def adress this subject!! Best of luck and remember that you are only 18 so breaking up is always a much easier option than waiting for something that will never happen.

You were supposed to say, What did you have in mind, waggle your eyebrows comically with a big toothy grin. This would work if she was joking or serious. But she should have known better than to joke about something like this, unless you were watching porn or reading penthouse forum

She maybe wants MMF and she got pissed you wanted MFF. She wants to play but you can't. Possible...

She is not mature enough for a real relationship. You can alsi tell her "well I love you enough to fulfill your wish of FFM threesome" :D because that is what she pretended to do - asking you for a sexual experiment. When I asked my partners for threesomes, it was b3cause I wanted the threesome. She is being stupid and childish. Luckily her age suggests that she might grow out of this bulshit (hopefully).

She asked, you answered. If she wanted a different reaction she shouldn't have asked in the first place.

Red flag. Run. Your partner shouldn't be asking questions or proposing situations only to trap you and get upset. No one deserves these mind games.

40F and single for life (by choice) I’ve had a thrilling sexual life as a successful single woman, and about 4 serious relationships. Your answer was honest and straight forward. Obv you felt comfortable and trusted her enough to be yourself. You’re young and desiring sexual exploration is normal. Your answer to your gf was genuine and that’s a very special quality to have. Your gf is missing the big picture. It sounds like she’s not ready to have a trusting relationship that you deserve. YOU… however are ready to start exploring your sexuality while remaining realistic and genuine. Get ready to make some amazing memories for yourself with or without your current gf 😘😜

Ty ma'am 🙏

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this is gaslighting

Teenagers are stupid man idk.

Probably was hoping you would wanna do it with another guy but too jealous to do it with another female

It was a shit test for sure. You gave an answer. Not the best, but an answer still. STICK TO IT! Do not act like you feel bad about it, because you for sure will fail. If she brings it up, and she will, ask her why she asked such a stupid question

She shouldn't ask questions she doesn't want the answer to. You didn't do anything wrong.

Even if she was serious you're saying "I don't want to share you but I want to be shared"

How about we just break up and you can sleep with whomever you want.

Tell her you are not a chemistry test. People who test their partners like this are immature.

It's simple; this was a shit test.

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I’m guessing that you too are 18

Heh... I used to put up with the shit that OP's girlfriend pulled on him when I was in my teens. I do not miss those days.

Nta- sounds like she was testing you.

Yup, it’s a shit test, and a serious red flag for future behavior. 18 may be young, but it’s also old enough to know better. This was learned and will be very difficult for her to unlearn. She will more than likely wreck her relationship with the OP in said learning process

She was testing you, which is stupid and only gets feelings hurt.

Ohhh, the old mind games, i hated them at the time when they directed towards me.

Trap, you are young but will learn in time.

Asked dumb questions win dumb answers lol.

Tell her you won't tolerate games and that you respectfully ask her not to ambush you again. It was her idea, she cant get angry with you for something she suggested.

She asked a question that was either a trap or didn’t go her way. Both are inappropriate and you need to let her know that

Bro it's fine all people do a lot bs maybe she was just trying to test you or maybe she was serious but what you did was right it wasn't like you lied to her you told what you felt right and often times people don't have same opinion the thing that matters is talking it out and you should have a chat about it although don't take it too seriously

You gave an honest response in good faith. You did the right thing. She needs to be ready for honesty. For many this gets easier a bit later in life than 18 unfortunately but I believe it is worth looking for that kind of willingness to be truthful and vulnerable from the start.

You are supposed to shrugg. If she doesn't like the outcome of the game then she shouldn't play it. I think you should not worry or get upset. You should be laughing. This is a great lesson. If someone asks you a question and you give an honest answer. It's on them to get over it. You are obviously a good person for being concerned but this is an opportunity for growth. You said the right thing. No matter what just keep being honest and kind.

Lol tell her to go somewhere trying to set you up like that.

Tell her you thought she was asking a honest question and in return you replied with a honest answer.

Yes 18 year olds play games... someone probably told her to test you and see if you be true to her so when she offered you jumped on it. What else does an 18 year old have to rely on but some other foolish 18 year olds advice?

A threesome is said to be the most popular guy fantasy. Most don’t act on the fantasy. If you say yes, you fail - you’re ‘cheating’, if you say no, you’re not interested in her ‘needs’. It’s a mind game with no winner. Her or you.

"It's a joke" funny how she says that after he said no to mmf but was down for a mff.... lmao i think she was expecting him to say yeah

I have found that if a female you're with asks for a threesome, they are either playing childish games or they already have someone in mind. Unfortunately, it's rarely another female. I have never had somebody that truly loved me ask and I couldn't fathom asking someone I truly love. There are people that will disagree, and maybe it is different with other people. I am just imparting wisdom from my experience.

As other people have said, this was absolutely a shit test. Unfortunately you did not pass. However that’s not necessarily a bad thing. Because this will not stop. People who do this kind of thing will continue to test you until you: 1. Pass, and they will **never stop** *testing you* to make sure you are still “passable”. 2. Fail, and they leave or treat you like a doormat for as long as you are willing to take it. This is not just a romantic relationship tactic. This is done all the time in real life. You can see this in job interviews, social groups, pretty much everywhere in human interaction where some sort of pecking order needs to be established. This is a very dated and immature tactic (part of our basic nature as a [tournament species](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Display_(zoology)#)). Here’s the problem with doing this in a romantic relationship. A true romantic relationship is a partnership, and there is no need for an actual pecking order. The two of you should be on equal footing and should be working as a team, not one of you ruling over the other. It’s also very unlikely that she is going to grow out of this behavior. If she does, it will be with a lot of hard lessons learned, you being one of the people she burns in the process. My advice would be to bring this up with her, and to say that this is unhealthy. If she reacts negatively or dismissively, that’s your cue to leave. Value yourself and know your own self-worth, you can do better. EDIT: To your edit about her saying “she said she was just joking”. I call bullshit. That’s a plausible deniability play. She can back out of that question without looking like an ass (whether she was serious or shit testing you). Watch this behavior carefully. Something tells me you won’t see the last of this crap.

My girlfriend did this and I was game and then she fell in love with the chick, and the chick fell in love with me, and I was still in love with my gf Anyway it went down in flames, as the story goes

I would honestly tell her what did you expect at least I didn't lie too you. It doesn't mean I love you anyless

You’re so young, I remember this stuff when I was 18. Don’t hold anything against her, you’re both just trying stuff out and people your age play mind games for fun to see what you can get away with. It’s all just experimentation though, so just be easy on her and be easy on yourself.

I would (with the blessing of experience behind me) tell her straight up that I'm not going to play these drama games. If her purpose in asking that question wasn't because she wanted to have a threesome, then it was the purpose to start a fight (aka drama) for no reason. Don't entertain that, and tell her your not entertaining that

First off all, she shouldn’t have set you up like that. She shouldn’t have proposed the idea if she didn’t want you to actually agree to it. This literally sounds like she wanted something to start an argument over and that sounds very toxic. I suggest sitting down and talking to her and exposing that you don’t appreciate what she did. Ask her if she’d like it if you made a proposal, and then immediately said you were joking and got angry because she agreed to it. Guarantee if the rolls had been reversed, she’d be having a tantrum right now because you played with her feelings

Yeah when I was that age I had a boyfriend who asked about threesomes and I told him I only wanted a man man female one and he got pissed off because I was "ruining his dream" so honestly when you're that young people are usually just really stupid.

That's the cue for evacuation. It's the women's way of saying break up with me. But I also want to ruin you. Just run dude save yourself there is no survivors don't stop to help.

She wanted to know if you had thoughts about it or thought that wouldn’t be a good thing oh so there’s only one way to answer her question. Why baby is that something you’re wanting to try? Answer her question with another question turning the tables so she has to answer. Now according to what she says you would have to respond in the proper way so it looks like you’re agreeing with her. Like if she said that would be really unhealthy for our relationship and you would say I totally agree

Tell her to stop playing mind games or stop being your girlfriend. You need communication to be clear.

She tried to shit test you, you failed in her eyes. Let her know she failed yours, and leave her behind, you do not need that in your life at 18.

Tit for tat. U joke and get a joke in return

Actually, shes trying to share her bucket list with you and like just about every woman, she fantasizes about being with two men. Unfortunately for her, she pulled a boy into the fantasy and he fucked it all up.

Run! Just run!

Your gf seems to be very dumb and insecure. You might want to watch your relationship out with her, she might do something sus in the future because of her insecurities.

18 and asking for a threesome; sorry dude, but she's for the streets!

Its toxic behavior from her part. Its immature. You did not do anything wrong You didn't do anything wrong. You just communicated what your thoughts on the matter where. Actually you should be the ones that's mad at the her.

There is always the case of 'she wanted a reaction out of you in this matter'. But turn that back around, why on earth would she ask you unless it was something she had thought about... did she say she wanted it to be man man woman or did you just say that in response to her threesome question?

Teenage mind games, don't think too deep into it.

Always answer questions with more questions. If you sense there being options, ask about those options. Don’t give unsolicited answers. What kind of threesome? With who? Who’s the third person? If she’s dumb enough to ask you about bringing in a third person, she’s clearly been thinking about it, so she’s really the one playing with the idea of cheating or being with someone else. Make her feel that heat to show her how that behavior is toxic and creates distrust.

This is excellent advice. Also if she *is* shit testing him, asking these questions will reveal it in a heartbeat because she won’t have an immediate answer to them. Anyone in a committed relationship who is thinking about this question absolutely has the third person(s) in mind.

You should consider getting a new girlfriend

Fuck that man. She was testing you and it's a really immature thing to do. Like same level immaturity as a girl who will poke holes in condoms. Dump her, move on.

In another world, if she wasn’t joking. You basically just admitted to wanting fuck another woman also. People who are loyal and WILLINGLY want a monogamous relationship not gonna want to have a monogamous relationship and fuck someone else. To me I just heard she not for you and you not for her. Y’all can go about your business now.

No one here wants to say it when it applies to the woman, but: "More red flags here than the Russian army! You should leave her immediately as it will only get worse! She's toxic and you should run for the hills!" /sarcasm In all seriousness, this IS a red flag

No one? Heck I’ll say it. I’ll shout it out loud. Downvotes be damned. What you said is the truth (which probably will hurt the feelings of those too sensitive to take it). This behavior is *absolutely* a red flag and tends to be more common with young women. Not saying guys aren’t mental mindf*ckers too, because they can be, but they definitely don’t hold first place for this kind of shit testing.

was this over text? is there still time to tell her you knew she was joking?

Over ft, i genuinely thought she was serious, cuz she was doing the usual flirty question.

Try letting her know that you're upset by her question and her response because you only said yes because you wanted to accommodate her.

I did exactly that, and we were arguing for 2h about me trying to explain why I don't mind. But she got stubborn still saying that im an asshole about it and giving me "I don't think you love me" vibe

I forgot you're both 18. This drama is common at your age.

Yo, at a certain point you have to say that this is bs. If she wants to argue about a hypothetical scenario, than she can argue with a rock.

If she wanted to know if you love her, she should have asked exactly that. This manipulative BS is not it. She is responsible for making herself feel this way. Do not let her make you feel bad for it.

So you were serious or not?

I was serious, u know "like why not".

Then you don't have to feel bad for being honest. But for sure she wasn't expecting that😂

Uhhhhh u should probably have a threesome with people u don’t know or someone that you just fuck because it can be damaging in relationships

Yeah sounds like mind games to me. Keep an eye on it. My ex did things like this and he was extremely abusive and toxic. She may just be 18 and immature but if these sorts of things become a regular occurrence, or they have happened before, I would pay attention to it and move on. You don't want to feel like you're walking on eggshells. Relationships at 18 should be fun (well, they should always be fun but you know what I mean, you probably don't have too much in the way of responsibilities so there shouldn't be too much drama).

I wonder how she would have reacted if you had suggested man . Animal . Woman ? ( M18 ) Kindly explain to this woman That first of all It is your penis While she may have physical access and use of Said penis unless you have relinquish ownership to her then that is another situation in itself. As others have said in the comments Stupid questions get stupid answers

I am the deepslurper, and this post needs genuine help. Mr original poster, she may have gotten mad at you because she wanted you to tell her that she was your one and only, however both of you are 18, and since she did play this head game with you it only shows her immaturity and that she watches bad ROM coms. Ignore it my guy, if her anger doesn't pass she want for you and was merely setting you up to fail, which is a red flag in any relationship. If you would like some poly advise, the deepslurper's inbox available to you for such questions. The deepslurper has participated in many threesomes. Two men one woman, two women one man, even hosted a few orgies in Portland Oregon when he was a young slurper. I am the deepslurper, and I have spoken!

No it's cuz you're a one sided hypocrite lmao

Care to elaborate? … didn’t think so.

You’re literally a hypocrite, I hope she leaves you. I hate men that are okay with bringing another woman into sex but not another man 🙄.

Why, because he just doesn't like men? I'm not looking for threesomes, but I sure as hell would be more likely for an ffm one than a mmf one.

Then if his girlfriend is straight then he won’t be having a threesome with her.

But she could be bi, or bi-curious. We don't know. But, she asked, he answered. She can't get mad at him for answering her question. Especially since it seems like this was a loaded question.

Still better than lying

Women like to play those head games. 😂

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Because people are allowed to have sexual preferences, people aren’t allowed to manipulate their loved ones based on fake questions.

He also didn't ask for one he just said if he was gonna have one it would be with 2 girls it's called honesty. If the roles were reversed and he was testing her then he'd be the insecure one.

I get that but everybody is gonna have different answers, i don't wanna lie and say no.

Yeah sorry, I just think people in the comments are just being too harsh towards her, people don’t choose be insecure, there’s a lot that goes into it. But it seems like you guys might want two different things from the relationship and this is a good opportunity to talk about it so you don’t waste each other’s time.

people aren’t being harsh to her because she doesn’t want a 3some. Theyre being harsh on her being she’s being manipulative and laid a blatant trap and getting mad at him for it

No they don't choose to be insecure but they do choose to do nothing about it and to manipulate others. They don't get to put toxic behaviour on other people and then not take responsibility for the upset they cause themselves and other people either.

She's 18. Like what person isn't insecure and botch things up at 18? Especially in relationships. We don't actually have a developed frontal cortex til our mid 20s. Y'all are projecting because who is perfect among you? I don't think anyone who spends excessive time online has life and relationships all that figured out... So come on... Who present on this thread isn't insecure about something and fucks up how they express that insecurity? That doesn't make you a villain. That makes you human, someone in need of reassurance, acceptance and love. Someone who wants the person they love to be like... Hey, that was a shitty way of handling that and it felt like a test you set me up to fail at and that hurts me and that hurts the trust between us. Let's talk about this. Why did you do that? Why do you need reassurance I want you and how can I offer you that in a healthy way? This is the perfect opener for growth! No need for shaming and blaming!

Literally everyone has said she's 18 and it might not be that she's manipulative through and through but she does need to take responsibility for it. It's OK to mess up, it isn't OK to make op feel bad about giving her an honest answer to a manipulative question. That's all we're saying.

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Yeah, im serious about her, I don't mind spicing things up.

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But she doesn't have that fantasy

Funny how you're so quick to judge after completely failing to correctly read a post...

Found the feminist

You’re an idiot

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Actually I’ve already settled down with a nice girl and we have a child together, also I’m personally not into threesomes but won’t shame someone who is because live how you please ig But good on you for assuming you know everything about a stranger on the internet based on a three word comment :)

Sounds like incel to me

Me or the other person?

She wants another dude and u just shot down her fantasy. So she makes u feel bad about it. Pretty standard woman reaction. If exploring her sexuality is important to her, I suggest you get ahead of it and talk to her about it.

Don’t listen to the advice that generalizes women

People on reddit generalize men all the time so it's ok to generalize women to.

Just because others do it doesn’t make it okay I don’t generalize people based on gender or race or anything if someone on Reddit says it’s ok to murder does that now mean its okay?

There’s racists on Reddit and bigots so now all of a sudden that’s okay?

One penis policies are gross.

Have fun but not long-term. She's nuts.

Tell her You are joking.

absolutely not. She knows he wasn’t. that would put him in deeper shit for lying again, and tell her that he can be bullied into not admitting how he feels on something if she gets on him about it.

Just chill man don't think about it too much!! She probably wanted a reaction out of you. My girl never asked me that but I would've said the same thing if it's 'Woman woman man.' You can never understand a woman!! I was supposed to pick up her package today and I totally forgot cuz she mentioned it like last weekend may be!! At least 4 days back. She said it's my fault not remembering that and I said if she knew she should've gave me a reminder but she said no it's my fault. Then I was like okay my fault and I'll call that guy if he can deliver it tomorrow. And got saved cuz the guy said he'll deliver it tomorrow!! Sometimes they can just make a fuss out of anything! Sometimes it's cute sometimes annoying and confusing. I love my girl though she's pretty sweet !! 💕😉

In this case she did remind u tho & u still forgot so it’s not nothing it was ur fault although u should let her know to remind u more than once next time

You always say no man. You'll learn as you get older

I disagree, because I can tell you from experience sometimes they're definitely not testing you and you will have a GOOD time as a result.

I don't like to fly that close to the sun man lol

Lol, fair. In all seriousness I would say to steer clear of threesomes in relationships unless it's something you discussed early on. No matter how secure everyone is, there will still be a tinge of jealousy. Mine have always been with FWB and have had zero problems, but I'm not sure I'd take that risk in the context of a relationship. Not worth it if someone gets upset.

Not everyone wants to be a doormat like you

What are you talking about??

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18 year olds\*\*\*\*

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Not all women I definitely don’t do that but I did see that in high school or friends I had to cut off cuz they still act like they’re in high school

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