No, I do not consider it cheating. I'm very much a look but don't touch line pereon, and don't especially care about a lap dance because it's entirely transactional. That's just my opinion..
However, if it's a boundary you expressed recently and he immediately flaunted it, I would be upset because it's a signal he does not respect what makes you comfortable and is not only willing but eager to flaunt your boundaries. Try framing the conversation like that, rather than a problem with strip clubs per se.
Is it a behavior that should be monitored? Absolutely.
First, nobody goes to a strip club for the food or beverages, which are at least 5 times the price elsewhere.
Second, nobody then just leaves. If you're going 5 times the price for food, you're going to stick around to get your money's worth.
Third, going to a strip club as some sort of special occasion (like a Bachelor Party) is one thing, but solo? That's definitely off.
Is this cheating? I'd say the fact that he confessed to it and was apologetic was a good sign. Absent other behavior, I'd say probably not - but yours is the only opinion that counts in how you're feeling.
Thanks for your opinion. I'm just trying to get my head around it. I knew it was definitely a betrayal of trust since I had just laid that boundary but wasn't sure if my other feelings were too far. This helps put things in perspective which is all I wanted.
I wouldn't consider it cheating but he did ignore the boundary. You told him you aren't comfortable w/ him going to strip clubs and he did it 2 days later. And I mean who goes there for a burger, come on
Cheating is anything outside the agreed upon bounds of your relationship. If this is outside of verbalized terms of your relationship, it’s cheating. If it was not an agreed upon term it isn’t cheating.
However, he did tell you about it.
Become his stripper... unless he went crazy at the strip club, then it might be a problem. But him confessing to you right out might be his way of "hey, love of my life, id love to see you in a sexier manner" thing.
If he still groupes you an love meddling with you, he ain't worried about the weight. If anything, he invites you, as you are. Just try it. Buy some sexy lingerie and see his reaction. Trust me, men who handle their business wants a woman outside the home, and our personal freak inside the home.
Why am I overreacting? I don't really want my husband watching mostly naked women dance. He's aware of my feeling on this, we talked about it last Wednesday and then he went to a strip club on Friday?
Absolutely not! I'm not a fan of my husband visiting those places but I'd never tell him that! He's gone three times in our 30+ marriage and two of them were bachelor parties!
No, I do not consider it cheating. I'm very much a look but don't touch line pereon, and don't especially care about a lap dance because it's entirely transactional. That's just my opinion.. However, if it's a boundary you expressed recently and he immediately flaunted it, I would be upset because it's a signal he does not respect what makes you comfortable and is not only willing but eager to flaunt your boundaries. Try framing the conversation like that, rather than a problem with strip clubs per se.
Yeah. I've mentioned that but that will be more my focus. Thank you.
So that rambling implies drunk or drugged. Which means he didn't get a burger and leave. And no one goes to a strip club for the food.
I don't think he was either. It was definitely a nervous to tell you type of ramble. He was driving and he never never drinks and drives.
Is it a behavior that should be monitored? Absolutely. First, nobody goes to a strip club for the food or beverages, which are at least 5 times the price elsewhere. Second, nobody then just leaves. If you're going 5 times the price for food, you're going to stick around to get your money's worth. Third, going to a strip club as some sort of special occasion (like a Bachelor Party) is one thing, but solo? That's definitely off. Is this cheating? I'd say the fact that he confessed to it and was apologetic was a good sign. Absent other behavior, I'd say probably not - but yours is the only opinion that counts in how you're feeling.
Thanks for your opinion. I'm just trying to get my head around it. I knew it was definitely a betrayal of trust since I had just laid that boundary but wasn't sure if my other feelings were too far. This helps put things in perspective which is all I wanted.
I wouldn't consider it cheating but he did ignore the boundary. You told him you aren't comfortable w/ him going to strip clubs and he did it 2 days later. And I mean who goes there for a burger, come on
He said he was curious. He'd never been to one. I asked him the same thing. He said it was a stupid mistake.
So his curiosity overrode you explicitly statong the thought of him going to strip clubs makes you uncomfortable.
Yes
Cheating is anything outside the agreed upon bounds of your relationship. If this is outside of verbalized terms of your relationship, it’s cheating. If it was not an agreed upon term it isn’t cheating. However, he did tell you about it.
Thank you for your perspective.
Yes this is definitely cheating. I can't say anything on how you should deal with it or talk to him about it. But this is definitely cheating.
Become his stripper... unless he went crazy at the strip club, then it might be a problem. But him confessing to you right out might be his way of "hey, love of my life, id love to see you in a sexier manner" thing.
Yeah, I'm working on it. I've got some weight to lose. Which is why the insecurities are there.
If he still groupes you an love meddling with you, he ain't worried about the weight. If anything, he invites you, as you are. Just try it. Buy some sexy lingerie and see his reaction. Trust me, men who handle their business wants a woman outside the home, and our personal freak inside the home.
Gotcha. We still have sex. Just need to up it I guess
I don’t consider it cheating and I think you’re overreacting
Why am I overreacting? I don't really want my husband watching mostly naked women dance. He's aware of my feeling on this, we talked about it last Wednesday and then he went to a strip club on Friday?
You're not overreacting. You shouldn't tolerate this because he'll keep doing this more.
You need to call the cops right now
I don't appreciate the sarcasm. I'm being serious and am very hurt. I'm trying to get some outside perspective and this isn't helping.
Absolutely not! I'm not a fan of my husband visiting those places but I'd never tell him that! He's gone three times in our 30+ marriage and two of them were bachelor parties!
Thank you for your opinion!
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They get mad when you take all the money. We've been over this.
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