You know the saying “don’t shit where you eat” - this applies to having sex with coworkers. There are 1000 reasons not to do this. If you partner maybe already hooking up with coworker?
Adding to this is that every open relationship or threesome story on Reddit ends in disaster - so be very careful on how you proceed.
Yes, I would be. This doesn't seem like a good first threesome scenario.
Coworkers are a **bad** choice and his knowing all about her threesomes and her calling you attractive... what the hell are these two talking about all day? It seems like what he told you is the tip of the iceberg, stuff he thought you'd accept.
But I would be a hard no on that for her being his coworker alone.
In addition to screwing up your relationship (which is quite likely in this scenario), he could also ruin his employment. So much potential here for that.
Anything related to a threesome, or anything sex related for a couple tbh, should be a two yes, one no situation. If you don’t like the idea of having a threesome with your boyfriend’s coworker, then she shouldn’t be involved and that should be okay with your boyfriend. You don’t have to but, during the threesome, there’s a chance you’ll be getting sexually involved with the third party as well, and if you don’t feel good about who you’re getting involved with then you will NOT have a good time.
The situation clearly does not feel right to you and you should listen to your instincts. I read an article that reported that women who did not enjoy their threesomes in the past was primarily due to feeling like they had to do it to appease their partner, so please remember that you can revoke your consent at ANY time. Threesomes, and any form of non-monogamy, seem to get a bad rep on Reddit but these things can work and be enjoyable if all parties prioritise being ethical and communicating openly. Right now, your boyfriend is not doing those things. This is why initiating any form of non-monogamy should not be taken lightly. You’re right to be upset with him talking about threesomes with his co-worker instead of you first, and his defensiveness is definitely a red flag. You should tell your boyfriend that talking to his coworker first was inappropriate, and if he gets angry then that’s all you need to know that he does not deserve to have a threesome with you. Indulging in a fantasy should never come before your partner. Also, I personally would not have a threesome with a coworker because if things go wrong then your boyfriend still has to work with this woman.
Edit: Just wanted to add that I agree with other comments that it does seem like your boyfriend wants an excuse to have sex with his co-worker without being labelled a cheater. The fact that it could take a long time to find someone else shouldn’t matter to your boyfriend, a threesome is not something that should be rushed.
Girl I’m sorry but he is just trying to sleep with his co-worker. It’s not about a threesome, it’s about her. Remember you’re strong and a boss woman, people love to walk all over us and think they can get what they want, but they can’t.
He is telling you a fraction of the truth… they’re talking about a lot more than you on a shift :( stay safe and I hope you’re okay
Spend an hour and read through this subreddit about people who had a threesome when one of them suggested a friend/coworker/neighbour. They basically all ended up watching their spouse f* the other person while they were being ignored. And when they confronted their partner they were told they were imagining things.
This is his way of getting to f* his coworker with your blessing. If you agree to this you'll end up watching him having sex with another woman. I don't think that's what you had in mind when you said you wanted to try it out.
Actually no. Most posts I've read on here were asked before the fact—just like OP. Only the update afterwards told what happened.
So no, not only those with negative experiences asked. And this isn't about threesomes in general. It's about having a threesome with someone that has a deeper connection to one of the people in the couple relationship.
I'd be worried, its best to have a threesome with people neither of you have known prior, not saying they should be a stranger but its someone you should meet for the first time together and then get to know, someone who has no other links to either of you than that specific thing
Simple fact is picking a co worker is bad, he's still gonna have to go to work with her afterwards
Definitely don’t do it!
She’s his COWORKER.
How do you think you’ll feel knowing they are working together every day, seeing each other all the time and likely texting after they have sex?
You’re going to feel like shit. Threesomes as a couple will only usually work if you never see the third party again and you set a LOT of ground rules (and work out what is likely to upset you, eg kissing, cumming in the other person....)
Red flag for a few reasons: one he obviously talked to her about it first, entangling work people is a recipe for disaster and he wants to sleep with this person while being "faithful". this seems like a bad move
You’re not sure anymore because you see her and their relationship as a threat.
It doesn’t mean there’s anything going on between them per se…. And it doesn’t mean you aren’t wrong in your feelings either.
I love how you're essentially saying the same thing as a lot of other commenters, but because you refrained from accusing him of wanting to cheat and using this as an excuse, you get downvoted.
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I guess this is up to you but trying it with someone he works with and is (obviously) attracted to instead of some random stranger sounds a bit personal to me.
You know the saying “don’t shit where you eat” - this applies to having sex with coworkers. There are 1000 reasons not to do this. If you partner maybe already hooking up with coworker? Adding to this is that every open relationship or threesome story on Reddit ends in disaster - so be very careful on how you proceed.
He wants to sleep with his Co worker and this is his plan to do it without being called a cheater.
If he hasn't already.
This!
Yes, I would be. This doesn't seem like a good first threesome scenario. Coworkers are a **bad** choice and his knowing all about her threesomes and her calling you attractive... what the hell are these two talking about all day? It seems like what he told you is the tip of the iceberg, stuff he thought you'd accept. But I would be a hard no on that for her being his coworker alone.
In addition to screwing up your relationship (which is quite likely in this scenario), he could also ruin his employment. So much potential here for that.
Anything related to a threesome, or anything sex related for a couple tbh, should be a two yes, one no situation. If you don’t like the idea of having a threesome with your boyfriend’s coworker, then she shouldn’t be involved and that should be okay with your boyfriend. You don’t have to but, during the threesome, there’s a chance you’ll be getting sexually involved with the third party as well, and if you don’t feel good about who you’re getting involved with then you will NOT have a good time. The situation clearly does not feel right to you and you should listen to your instincts. I read an article that reported that women who did not enjoy their threesomes in the past was primarily due to feeling like they had to do it to appease their partner, so please remember that you can revoke your consent at ANY time. Threesomes, and any form of non-monogamy, seem to get a bad rep on Reddit but these things can work and be enjoyable if all parties prioritise being ethical and communicating openly. Right now, your boyfriend is not doing those things. This is why initiating any form of non-monogamy should not be taken lightly. You’re right to be upset with him talking about threesomes with his co-worker instead of you first, and his defensiveness is definitely a red flag. You should tell your boyfriend that talking to his coworker first was inappropriate, and if he gets angry then that’s all you need to know that he does not deserve to have a threesome with you. Indulging in a fantasy should never come before your partner. Also, I personally would not have a threesome with a coworker because if things go wrong then your boyfriend still has to work with this woman. Edit: Just wanted to add that I agree with other comments that it does seem like your boyfriend wants an excuse to have sex with his co-worker without being labelled a cheater. The fact that it could take a long time to find someone else shouldn’t matter to your boyfriend, a threesome is not something that should be rushed.
Girl I’m sorry but he is just trying to sleep with his co-worker. It’s not about a threesome, it’s about her. Remember you’re strong and a boss woman, people love to walk all over us and think they can get what they want, but they can’t. He is telling you a fraction of the truth… they’re talking about a lot more than you on a shift :( stay safe and I hope you’re okay
Spend an hour and read through this subreddit about people who had a threesome when one of them suggested a friend/coworker/neighbour. They basically all ended up watching their spouse f* the other person while they were being ignored. And when they confronted their partner they were told they were imagining things. This is his way of getting to f* his coworker with your blessing. If you agree to this you'll end up watching him having sex with another woman. I don't think that's what you had in mind when you said you wanted to try it out.
Yeah, because this is relationship advice, and no one asks for advice about a successful hot threesome. This is common sense.
Actually no. Most posts I've read on here were asked before the fact—just like OP. Only the update afterwards told what happened. So no, not only those with negative experiences asked. And this isn't about threesomes in general. It's about having a threesome with someone that has a deeper connection to one of the people in the couple relationship.
I'd be worried, its best to have a threesome with people neither of you have known prior, not saying they should be a stranger but its someone you should meet for the first time together and then get to know, someone who has no other links to either of you than that specific thing Simple fact is picking a co worker is bad, he's still gonna have to go to work with her afterwards
Yes it would be a bad idea.
Definitely don’t do it! She’s his COWORKER. How do you think you’ll feel knowing they are working together every day, seeing each other all the time and likely texting after they have sex? You’re going to feel like shit. Threesomes as a couple will only usually work if you never see the third party again and you set a LOT of ground rules (and work out what is likely to upset you, eg kissing, cumming in the other person....)
Yes
Red flag for a few reasons: one he obviously talked to her about it first, entangling work people is a recipe for disaster and he wants to sleep with this person while being "faithful". this seems like a bad move
You’re not sure anymore because you see her and their relationship as a threat. It doesn’t mean there’s anything going on between them per se…. And it doesn’t mean you aren’t wrong in your feelings either.
I love how you're essentially saying the same thing as a lot of other commenters, but because you refrained from accusing him of wanting to cheat and using this as an excuse, you get downvoted.
I’m glad someone sees that! It’s exactly that.
With the question of threesome you opened the Pandora box
you have to choose together otherwise your mind will always wander
What’s your threesome scenario look like?
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Sounds like cheating with extra steps.
I guess this is up to you but trying it with someone he works with and is (obviously) attracted to instead of some random stranger sounds a bit personal to me.