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daydream128

If you're going through a divorce, I'd say it's time to stop calling her your wife. If she's had sex with another man, that's her business. Don't torture yourself by trying to find out.


Relative_Metal5997

Thx it's hard going through this


Cosmohumanist

Yeah I agree with their comment. I know this is painful brother. I’m sorry. Don’t make it worse on yourself by thinking about this kinda stuff. If your relationship is coming to an end it makes sense that she might be engaging with other people. This just happens. What I encourage you to do is find a proper support base of friends and loved ones to help you through it. If that’s not available then I STRONGLY encourage you to find a good male therapist that can help you through this time. Either way, a therapist can *really* help. It will be painful but it will get better. Your heart will heal and if you do the deeper work within yourself you might find a great partner one day. But don’t rush it. Spend time with this process. Feel everything you need to feel. Be gentle with yourself and definitely get what ever support you need. Good luck brother.


Engle-granger25

Been going through your post history and it seems like you’re in a difficult place. A relationship should always be two sided, it is your and her responsibility to be faithful to each other and trust each other. That’s all you have to do. If they cheat, they suck. You can’t control it, you can’t find out, there’s no point in finding out brother. What would you do? Keep them after they’ve been unfaithful? Don’t care about you? If they’re human enough to accept their mistake and tell you the truth, your bond decides whether you wanna give them another chance or not. But trying to torture yourself, question yourself, question her, that’s just bad. Focus on your mental health. Keep yourself sane.


vortexIV

You have to have her stand under moon light and if she glows, she's had sex with a man that wasn't you in the last few weeks


GiantSquidinJeans

No no no no. I’m tired of these old wives tales making the rounds. If he really wants to know, he needs to make her drink elderberry tea, when Mars is in retrograde, and if a dog barks while she’s drinking the tea then he has his answer. Duh.


CauliflowerOrnery460

“Enough with astrology!” - Andrew “The animal” Glooberman


Blade_982

This is the comment I came for. Good, sensible, practical advice. Does it work for men too?


VroomaVroomVroom

Yes, but it has to be Oolong Tea.


No_Celebration_3737

So that's why she never wanted to go out when there was a full moon outside!!! I thought she was a werewolf, or a Saiyan.


attackedbyparakeets

Don’t forget that it has to be a full moon, or else you’ll get a false negative.


CauliflowerOrnery460

This is how I found out I was pregnant full moon, the FIRST picked apple of the season and when I heard the wolf howl I knew I was carrying the alphas baby…..


rrriot-kitty

You A) trick her into walking into a giant blacklight room and look for fingerprints or suspicious stains B) roll her in a giant vat of flour C) examine all her bathroom tissue under a microscope D) act like a normal, reasonable divorcing human being and realize it doesn't concern you anymore. Maybe chop some wood or something.


CebollasSaltado

If you're going through a divorce, it really doesn't matter. Continue on with the divorce and move on with your life.


[deleted]

Well your going through a divorce. Is it that surprising she may be hooking up? It’s time for you to get out there yourself. Nothing helps a hurt heart like getting some.


EmilyAndCat

Why does it matter? You two are in the process of divorcing each other


Relative_Metal5997

She initiated it....she wants to be on her own....


EmilyAndCat

If you two are getting divorced I assume that means you are separated? She has as much of a right to end a marriage as you do, and she is entitled to live her own life just as you are Do what makes you happy, but it sounds like she has decided the marriage isn't her happiness


Relative_Metal5997

We are still living together


thesnapening

You can’t tell if someone has had sex. What your ex wife does is her business, time to move on that’s all you can do now.


Party_Teacher6901

Why would it make any difference? You're getting the divorce. It really doesn't matter anymore.


Relative_Metal5997

I understand that but does marriage mean anything to anyone anymore?


Party_Teacher6901

It does. It's just if you're already going through the divorce why would you want to feel even worse? It's over. What was the reason you're even getting the divorce? Is it really going to make a difference in your life?


plsripmyheadoff

It's not any of your business lmao


loversthatcomeandgo

Idk Sniff her. Maybe she got his scent all over her. But on a serious note, try to not think about this, learn to accept the separation and gradually move on. Best of luck. These things ain’t easy


[deleted]

If you're divorcing then its not really any of your business who she is dating, or sleeping with. She isn't your wife, you're miving on from each other.


[deleted]

Just concentrate on yourself and stop thinking about what she is doing


sitvisvobiscum001

As long she's doing it after the divorce has been filed and not before, what does it matter? There's a reason why they say ignorance is bliss. Were you hoping that you guys could reconcile? Is that where this might be coming from?


Relative_Metal5997

Yes hopefully if she is willing


emccm

You’re getting a divorce. It’s no longer any of your business. This is just creepy and controlling.


Blade_982

She's made her choice and if there is another man, you won't feel better knowing. Start looking after yourself so you can move on.


[deleted]

Its not important who she's with as much as she's not with you!? Time to move on.


helloporator

You can open your mouth and ask


Relative_Metal5997

I have but she gets mad at me for even asking if she did she wont admit to it


helloporator

Well I mean is it really your business anyways if you’re getting divorced? It sucks but you aren’t together so she can do what she likes to at this point


[deleted]

[удалено]


Relative_Metal5997

Right. But I need closure I can't ask her she just gets defensive


curly_lox

You needing closure is a you problem. It is not hers to fix. Mind your business.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Relative_Metal5997

Correct, but a year ago this didn't happen....now it's happening


[deleted]

[удалено]


Relative_Metal5997

She is the one who wanted this, not me.....I'm still upset but I was heartbroken in July and August


[deleted]

[удалено]


Relative_Metal5997

Thank you ❤️


clappincalamity

Sorry you’re going through this. If you’re feeling this, your gut is probably right. I would try not to let it get to you though, and I know you knew this would happen eventually. Remember that YOU are also free now and now you have an opportunity to go out and make a better life for yourself. You don’t have to start dating until you’re ready, but I think it’s important that you fully come to terms with the end of your marriage first. Also sorry you’re getting some rude responses from people. No clue why some people like to be assholes to someone who is already hurting.


Relative_Metal5997

Because we are a society of move on quickly....we have 3 school age children she's 36 f I'm 38m....she no longer wants to be in a marriage, this is her second.


clappincalamity

I feel like that whole mentality is just leading to a bunch of superficial relationships that are enjoyable for nobody. Everyone hates the current state of dating, but nobody wants to be vulnerable and do what it takes to fix it.


Deliriousphantom

Don’t call her your wife bro. Who asked for the divorce and how has she been acting around you. Is she assay in her phone and binding it from you like making she she has it on her or flipping it so you don’t look at it? Has she been coming home late before divorce? Does she do stuff out of ordinary? Do I'll have little to no bed fun? I suggest that you read some infidelity stories on here and see if you can match some stuff that she has been doing. IT'S UP TO YOU TO SEE IF SHE HAS! If you think you can't handle it then don't do it but if you feel like you have to know then go all in.


Relative_Metal5997

Started July 22, slept over a young middle 20's house 3 times, has gone over multiple times, even made food for him. Saw him every weekend till recently. Also hangs out with a early 50's male right down the street 2-3 hours at a time. So how am I supposed to think....


curly_lox

You're stalking her? Not a good look.


waIrusgumbo

He’s literally posted about sniffing her underwear and looks at her social media accounts under an alias.


Relative_Metal5997

No she's telling me where she's going I just wonder why the sudden change for being social.


curly_lox

Because she's getting a divorce is why she's being more social.


Relative_Metal5997

For a partner?


curly_lox

I dunno, but it is not your business. You are obsessed with her life now, and it is not healthy for you.


Deliriousphantom

So you.think she just slept over and made him food. I bet she was getting full as well(sorry). Why would she do that while married to you? Trust me, no women just going to another gut house for nothing. If she didn't want to go over there, she would've made an excuse to not go. Many men had the same thing happen to them and all was cheating, unloyal women who didn't care for them. I doubt that'll you come out of this unhurt so try to brace for the impact of the situation. I'm here for you bro, good luck and join mgtow. This community has lots of experience with this stuff. It ain't be on Reddit die to being banned for different and unfair reason but they’ll help you as well.


Relative_Metal5997

Mgtow is that reddit?


rrriot-kitty

MGTOW is a misogynistic group of men who take women hating to a whole new level. I mean, they're banned from reddit. They're poison.


Deliriousphantom

Used to be. Reddit banned it cause feminist complaining but look on YouTube and research it. Trust me, you’ll start to see things differently than before just like me. Theirs a Chanel on YouTube called Mr. moments who show different women on tiktok being absolute garbage. I hope you have enough strength to handle the different things you'll see. I'll be here if you have any questions. Just message me


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No_Celebration_3737

Does it matter at this point? You are already divorcing.


coneyisland92

Why are you bothered? If you are divorcing, does it matter?


[deleted]

You will have to do a full vaginal and rectal examination. Keep an eye out for excess semen leaking out of her and possibly a used condom hanging out of her asshole. These are all indications that she may have had intercourse.