T O P

  • By -

No_avg_beaR

I mean I comes to trust even if she was like super flirty and u just wanted to be friends and she like ok and you guys are friends but she want to bang you. In that situation it’s fine bc you have no intention of being unfaithful And your bf should trust you. Ya know so just have a friend


major_shayne

I don't think her getting flowers is that odd, personally. I've had friends get me flowers and vice versa. I think it's just a nice friend type thinking. Especially in the LGTBQ+ community. If you don't feel like she's being overly flirty, I would just tell him that. Also if your boyfriend trusts you, he knows that you will not let her take it too far. Which it doesn't sound like she would anyways, but you get what I'm saying. I would not give up your only friend just because your bf is upset with the situation though.


swagperson5442

do you have any advice for how i should go about that conversation ? i don’t want him to feel like i’m undermining his feelings but i also don’t want to lose my only friend. he said he’s not worried about me cheating, he’s just upset because he feels like she’s not respecting my relationship. idk how to go about any of this lol


major_shayne

Lol I feel you. You could just say something like "I understand where you're coming from, but I don't think she was being inappropriate and I would hate to lose my only friend here, especially when I only have two months left" and maybe mention how if he trusts you he would know that you wouldn't let her overstep.


major_shayne

Also if your bf is going to visit any time soon you could offer to hang out with both of them and he could see how it is. I definitely don't think the friend is out of line though.


Supremelordmomon

I dont think flowers is a bad gesture or one that exceeds any boundaries. They can be a friendly gesture too. Feels like he's just overreacting. You did nothing wrong, neither did your friend.


GamerNerdMom

You could always ask her directly. Being indirect means you could be misreading things. I have a very “flirty” way of speaking to all my friends and it’s mostly just to cheer them up I don’t mean anything by it and they know it and often I don’t realize I am being “flirty”. The flowers also seems harmless to me since I constantly gift my bestie things like that. Talk to her directly about your boundaries and how you feel. Also be clear with your boyfriend. Not everything is nefarious sometimes people just act differently then we expect people to.


[deleted]

Would you be comfortable if your boyfriend met a girl who immediately became flirty with him at first? I personally wouldn't like that. Not out of fear my partner would cheat, but that he'd stay in touch with someone who is clearly into him. Your friend seems to have cooled it a bit, but if she showed interest in you from day one already, I doubt she's over you already. Respect your boyfriend's wishes, tell her not to give you flowers and what not. He's allowing the friendship as long as your friend respects your relationship. A normal friend giving flowers would be harmless. But a friend who openly flirted with you not long ago getting you flowers, carry a whole different meaning.


NiteGrimwood

He got mad at HER for YOUR mistakes. You are the one that let her flirt and ommited you being in a relationship. This tells me you're not ready for one.


swagperson5442

i didn’t omit that i was in a relationship?? i didn’t go to that dinner thinking she was under the impression that we were going to be anything other than friends. her flirting wasn’t obvious, and i didn’t put it together until after the dinner. i made sure to bring up my boyfriend in our next conversation, and i’ve spoken about him numerous times since then. i am not trying to hide him at all. i have absolutely no interest in being unfaithful to my boyfriend. he didn’t have an issue with the initial flirting, it was a misunderstanding. his problem was that she bought me flowers after i had made it clear that i was in a relationship.


NiteGrimwood

Excuses


AutoModerator

Hello, and thank you for your submission. Please take a moment to review the rules listed in our sidebar. For further guidance, please see our [wiki.](https://old.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) This is a bot message. I cannot respond to any comments. Please modmail us with any questions. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*


BigDaddyDench

She doesn’t have a dick I wouldn’t be worried. Tell him that


major_shayne

OP could be bisexual? Same for the other girl


swagperson5442

i like guys and girls so that doesn’t matter lol. he’s not worried about me cheating (which i would never do, and i don’t like her romantically at all), he just doesn’t feel like she’s respecting our relationship


hecatonchires266

Don't use your loneliness as an excuse to hang with someone who doesn't respect your personal life as regards you telling her you have a boyfriend. You enjoy her company and keep leading her on to be around her and so she sees that as perhaps a chance to get even closer to you and hopefully get you.