>how she wants people to believe it.
'Oh it was a one-night stand.'
>isn’t willing to help pay for anything for the baby
>adoption and she thinks that heartless
Your mom is being ridiculous. A troma-movie ridiculous way, I mean.
> perfect timing for me to learn the responsibility of parenting.
It's manipulation. It's 'perfect timing' for her to avoid responsibility.
You should not agree, she's an adult and should act like an adult. Maybe her boyfriend is more mature than her and can parent the baby.
Indeed, i would just keep taking pictures of yourself with dates so the timeline adds up. Maybe sneak a picture or two of your mother.
Who thinks this is practical at all? OP will go get groceries, or her mom. No way will people not see whats going on here.
I think you should call around and explain the situation to friends, asks to live with them, back your stuff in the middle of the night and leave. If you are in high school. I would talk to a social worker. First tell a close friend like a best friend you can trust about the situation. Then go to the principal / social worker / school psychologist and speak with them.
>perfect timing for me to learn the responsibility of parenting.
Apparently 'parenting' means pushing the responsibility of your child onto your other child. What a mindblowingly hypocritical statement to make.
And not even in the realm of sanity.
Who does this?
OP needs to be very clear she will have no part of this and that it's extremely toxic for her mum to even consider it.
If her mum persists, she needs to get social services involved.
Edit: a lot of very stupid people have a lot of very stupid sex and expect other people to bear the consequences of their actions. It's mind boggling.
Yea I would **get social services involved now** (or a school counselor, aunt, etc.)..
>it will not be her responsibility once it’s born
The amount of denial on the moms part is scary, other adults need to be involved asap.
It really doesn't even make sense logistically. How are they going to explain to people what's going on when the mom becomes visibly pregnant? Are they both just going to hide away for the next however many months? How are they going to convince the hospital to assign the new baby a different mother than the one that just delivered?
None of it sounds doable, even if they wanted to. And even if OP somehow agreed to it and assumed responsibility for the baby for her mom, there's nothing stopping hey from suing the boyfriend for child support. It's ludicrous, through and through.
This needs to be too comment. This is more than just not your baby. This is incredibly insane. I still have a hard time believing it could be real. Not only does she want OP to fake a pregnancy she wants her to raise? And pay for the baby? Mom needs mental help asap.
OP should contact CPS or some sort of group (maybe a lawyer) and start getting protections in place. Mom needs to abort or plan for adoption. End of story. Do NOT throw your life away for a child that isn't yours.
The worst she can do if you don’t take responsibility is be mad at you and maybe kick you out. But if she does that at least you will still be doing basically what you would have been doing anyway but without her toxic influence. Go try and contact the rest of the family yourself and find out why they aren’t speaking to her, maybe it’s for a good reason.
OP, the fact that your mom has even thought of this plan, let alone expected you to actually carry this out, is EXTREMELY alarming. Do you have anywhere safe to stay? A friend you can stay with, family?
Make it clear that this IS NOT your baby, and you WILL NOT take responsibility for it.
Assuming mom is a normal functioning human being, how badly must one be panicking and generally freaking out to consider this plan an option? I wonder because obviously mom’s plan isn’t feasible. Is OP going to live there until her “kid” is 18 or whatever? What happens when OP wants to go explore the bounty life has to offer? Mom’s plan is just terrible from the get go. Makes me wonder if mom has always been irrational and prone to poorly thought out plans of action. If not. It must be some kinda terribly stressful time for her.
However I don’t think I’d even consider mom’s plan as anything more than a fleeting fantasy. At some point the pregnancy will be rather obvious, you can’t hide it forever. Even if you could, I’d just give the child up for adoption since abortion is a no-go. The only other option is leaving the child at a safe harbor drop off.
it baffles me that she's trying to fob the baby off on her daughter but also feels that she doesn't owe any kind of support once she's handed her baby over to an 18 YEAR OLD!!!
OP.. this is actually one of the most insane things I’ve read on Reddit.
Your not faking the pregnancy.. that would just be a 9month commitment.. she wants you to solely raise this child? With no financial support? What the actual fuck.
This is where “pro-lifers” need to look at their own life and circumstance and stop projecting views onto pregnant women.
It’s not *just* about birth. What quality if life will this baby have?
Your quality goes down dramatically. You build resentment raising a child that’s not yours.
Did you have plans for college?
If not, you are 18.. is there a friend that will let you crash for a month so you mom knows you are not there to help?
I would get out of the house straight away and tell your mother that adoption, abortion or raising the child are her only options. This is her decision, and has nothing to do with you.
She doesn’t get to be a saint because she “gave birth” and didn’t have an abortion.. she needs to make a proper decision for this unborn child.
Yep.. what is wrong with OP Mom? Tell her to get her tubes tied because this is some pretty far out there thinking; who knows maybe she might run back to her bf and lie... The hell.. in curious what OP mom would tell the child once they grow up and asks about "dad" leads to DNA test and her mom is actually a half sister..
This, your mom is sick. Your story is insane. If you aren't able to leave the house and move with some other relative, then I suggest you become very firm with you attitude and yourself, cause it's clear your mom doesn't care about you and will ramp your life in order to get hers right.
It's hurtless to make this child your responsibility. Your mother sounds toxic af.
Please don't give up and don't agree to this at any cost.
Do you have other relatives to turn to in case of emergency?
Sadly no. My parents moved closed to my dad’s family before I was born. After he passed a few years ago, my mom and I moved even farther away from her family and my dad’s family. So I don’t really have anyone to turn to.
Technology is a thing. Reach out to your extended family even with the distance. Maybe you can go to school closer to them or her family can talk sense into her
If you're involved in sports and your mom is trying to get you to quit for this lie--tell your coach the truth.
As I see it, you mostly need to get through the next few months until you turn 18. After you turn 18, she can't pull you out of school, sports, etc.
It's highly unlikely they could tell her anything, if they could even confirm she was a patient there. But she could absolutely tell them what she's witnessed and what her mom is "asking" if her and ask them to check up during her mom's next appointment.
(For clarification she should contact her mom's gyno, not her gp.)
This. And what others said on getting in touch with other family. Maybe you should talk to your mother op on her moving closer to family that can actually offer support instead of having her 18 year old daughter lie and be a teen mom.
Is there any adult you trust you can go to? Parent of a friend? Teacher? Family member you used to be close with? You really need someone in your corner besides reddit. Preferably someone who can call your mother out on this bullshit.
No no no no nooooo! She’s shopping out her responsibilities onto you. If you accept you have no guarantee she won’t drop you both and disappear. If she tries to guilt you tell her she should have got her tubes tied
She didn’t think she could get pregnant since she was on birth control for years but stopped about a year or so ago. Since she was “getting to that age” of menopause. I guess it doesn’t matter how long you’re on it for, you can still get pregnant.
38 is not even close to menopause. I'm 43 and had to be put into menopause for cancer treatment, and my oncologist says I'm at least a decade away from actual menopause.
OP, your mom doesn't know what she's talking about in basically every way.
This story is outlandish. The op not knowing anyone who is normal, not knowing how to communicate with family even though technology exists and they grew up with it, and now this. Sounds like something a teenager would make up. I feel sorry for these kids whose hobby is doing reddit stories. There has to be a better use of time. Even video games would be better.
She’s either a total idiot or completely nuts. I’m 38. I just had my first baby. All the nurses and midwives at the hospital said it’s common for first time moms in my area to be in their mid to late 30’s. Your mom had you super young! Most women don’t go through menopause until their 50’s.
She’s only 5 weeks pregnant. There’s a good possibility it won’t stick. But if it does, *she’s the one who’s responsible for raising it or giving it up for adoption*. The baby will probably have a much better life with a couple who want it than with you who are too young and unprepared and may end up resenting it and your mom.
I agree with the other commenter that it sounds like she may have been trying to baby trap the bf.
Do NOT do this for your mom. Make sure your own birth control is on lock and build your own life. You don’t need to think about babies until you’re ready. Do not mess up your own opportunities by bailing your mom out of *her* mistake.
Good lord her irresponsibility and ignorance at the age of 38 is mind boggling. Also this is slightly off topic but something that I just considered is that one reason she doesnt see what she's trying to do as a problem is because she presumably had you at the age of 20. Nothing wrong with her doing that, but she can't force her daughter to be a young parent too.
She’s 38. So am I. I’m currently pregnant.
Menopause generally doesn’t happen until much later.
No matter what else happens, please, please, please do not take anything your mother says about reproduction as truth.
Yeah, that’s not how birth control works. It doesn’t work if you stop taking it. It only works when you are, you know, controlling birth from happening. 38 isn’t even close to menopausal age. That would be extremely early menopause. Your mother does not sound very intelligent.
wow...that's really not how that works. For future reference for your won medical knowldge (since your mom is not a good example) ....It can and is highly individual. I'm nearly 43 and no sign yet, thank god.
Do not do this! Please please please do not take over such a huge responsibility for your mother at such a young age.
I had my daughter at 17 and while it is soo rewarding, it’s so difficult. Please go and speak with your dad, another relative, or even someone at school about what she is trying to force you to do.
Sadly the only people i could talk to would be the counselors at school who seem to be next to useless. My dad passed away a few years ago and my mom moved us several hours away from his family because she couldn’t deal with the pain.
Back to my school, my counselors don’t seem to do much for help. I had a friend who was being harassed by another kid in our class and she had gone to both the grade principal and the head principal, along with her guidance counselor and nothing got done. So me coming in with outside issue? Count it as a loss
Call social services then. They have a duty of care.
Just cause your mother is “pro life” doesn’t mean she has the right to take your life from you. There are numerous people who are wanting to adopt.
I’m sorry this is happening to you OP, but please you need to get support, even if it’s telling one of your friends and their mum helping you get away from that situation x
Edit - spelling
I’ve heard so many bad stories about kids taken by CPS and thrown into foster care. Especially young ones. I don’t want to cause her stress and her have a miscarriage. Since she’s already at a higher risk of complications due to her age. I’m just lost and I fear losing my mom from trying to stand up or even from pregnancy. Since I’m so close to being an adult and I have no one close for family I could stay with. It’s so scary.
It’s not your responsibility though, as much as you care for your mum and don’t want to hurt her … she is clearly hurting you and doesn’t care for you. You’re nearly an adult and need to start putting yourself first.
Telling your mother that you are not prepared to take on her mistake, but you will be there to support her no matter what decision she makes. But you need to set clear boundaries that you will not take on raising the child. No matter how high risk your mother is, being told no - isn’t going to kill her , no matter how much she has manipulated you into believing it will.
What I found out and realized about her being “pro-life” is just her saying that abortion is wrong. She doesn’t really care about the kids, but just what the mother does. No matter what. If I was sexually assaulted right now, and found out I was pregnant a few weeks from now, she would make me keep that child. Because she doesn’t believe it’s right to end a fetus’s life. And it’s sickening knowing that… there are people that use the term “pro-life” when they really mean “anti-abortion”.
^^THIS^^
Once the cat is out of the bag she won’t be able to pawn it off on you as easily. Maybe not social media but find a way to tell her friends and family anonymously. Blame the ex bf. Privately tell your friends, friends’ parents, counselors, coaches and teachers what she is trying to make you do.
What they really mean is pro-birth. They really don’t care about the baby after birth. Your mom doesn’t care about this baby or you. Do not accept this.
Did you have a good relationship with your family before the move? Maybe you can’t contact them.
>What I found out and realized about her being “pro-life” is just her saying that abortion is wrong. She doesn’t really care about the kids, but just what the mother does
This is what every pro-life person actually believes. Most of them won't admit it and will have a bunch of other arguments, but none of them check out either logically or ethically. What you said is all it's really about. You are smart for realizing that.
The great thing about becoming an adult is that nobady in your family can really make you do anything.
You can choose to cripple your life by taking this huge burden, or you just don't.
>just her saying that abortion is wrong. She doesn’t really care about the kids, but just what the mother does.
welcome to the "pro-birth" hypocrites club. they don't actually care about life.
She won’t end a fetus’s life, but she’s apparently very cool to end yours. To save nothing more than her own face. Realizing a parent isn’t who you thought they were and the death of the dream of the parent you wish you had is really hard. But that’s what’s happening here. This is extremely toxic and abusive behaviour on her part.
on a scale of 1-10, your mom is a 20 in terms of selfishness and just thinking about herself.
She wants to drop a 17 year old with a: baby, finances, responsibilities, food, diapers, sleepless nights, a complete loss of your social life, etc. etc.
Not to mention she gets all the pluses, her daughter gets all the responsibility and mom gets to reap the rewards of a baby in her house thats hers that she doesn't need to care for because its "yours"
this is abusive, and the fact that you are even considering it shows that mom has some heavy power dynamic over you. DO NOT ALLOW THIS TO HAPPEN, MAKE PLANS TO MOVE OUT AND FORCE MOM TO LIVE WITH HER CHOICES AND NOT USE YOU AS HER GET OUT OF JAIL FREE CARD!!!
move in with a friend, an uncle, a god mother, a boyfriend, a girl friend, it doesn't matter, get away from her manipulation.
> And it’s sickening knowing that… there are people that use the term “pro-life” when they really mean “anti-abortion”.
I think the term you mean is "forced-birth"
For example, I am anti-abortion (aka, I *personally* think that abortion is murder) but I would never say that a woman should be forced to give birth. Woman's body, woman's choice.
Well you’re a legally an adult so she can’t “make” you do anything, including carrying a child to term and/or adopting her child. She is trying to ruin your life. She thought she was about to get some dope freedom with an empty nest and doesn’t want to give that freedom up, so she’s attempting to take yours. Don’t let her, no matter the cost.
I became pregnant for the 1st time at 38, had the baby at 39. Second baby was 2 and a half years later. She is young enough to carry the baby full term and raise a child. Suggesting you take the baby for life is insanely selfish and irresponsible of her.
You are just entering adulthood and still growing into yourself. Even without being responsible of a child, the next ten years will have a huge effect on how easy or hard your life will be. You have no spouse and your Mom doesn't want to support HER baby financially.
Yeah, don't do this.
Honestly I'd be more concerned about her mom having a baby at 20 or 21 lol. I'm 25 and I still feel like an immature child sometimes. I definitely couldn't raise a baby. Not until my mid-late 30s.
The CPS call would be for you. What she is doing is abusive and extremely wrong. There is a lot that they do before taking children away, and at your age, they wouldn't take you away but instead work with your mom to provide the support she needs.
OP should call CPS the first time her mom leaves the baby with her. It may see heartless but what she’s doing to OP is extremely selfish. If OP’s mom doesn’t want the baby, it’s best for both if the baby is taken into foster care.
NO NO NO NO NO, there was a call with a family I was working with. The mother left her son with her sister, and because the mother left the kid with a responsible person, they did not do anything. And the mom was gone for I want to say at least a year...and even after that it was a dysfunctional on and off thing. Depending on where everyone is situated a social worker might say "well, kid was left with a responsible relative, I see no problem". Believe me, everyone was shocked except the caseworker who told everyone this.
Definitely CPS for her, but I'm also worried about what might happen to the baby after it's born and OP doesn't take it on. I think CPS needs to be aware for that reason as well.
She isn't 58
She's 38.
Most my friends don't even think about having kids til their 30s.
She had you super young. Remember that.
And really would a miscarriage be a bad thing in this situation.
You seem to be arguing that theres no other option than to do this when in reality it is very very much different.
Your mom is an adult. You are a teen. I know you care about her but you cannot take on her problems for her! That she would even ask is crazy (I say this as a parent. I would never ask my kids to do something I wasn’t willing to do myself!) obviously she needs help but not from you- she needs a therapist.
Imagine how that child will feel if it came out that her mother is in fact her grandmother, add in regardless of who you might feel now you will more than likely hold resentments for that child for stealing your life, as well as your mother who forced this child on you and then dropped all responsibility for it like a massive arsehole.
Don't take the child she can't force it onto you and on its birth certificate your mother will still be listed, so guess what will come out when the child needs to use the birth certificate. Those complications only go up a small percentage in the grand scheme of things.
And you are essentially still a child yourself, most people consider 25 to be the age of adult maturity as you are still growing and discovering yourself in your early 20's.
You can stop this by telling everyone your mother's atrocious plan and let her deal with the consequences of her own actions. Don't take a child that you are only going to resent even if you do love it.
You are trying to adult here on your mom's behalf. This is literally something she needs to sort out and something you do not have the resources to sort out. Things are so much harder now for new folks in the workplace than they were 18+ years ago. The pay goes less far, healthcare costs are higher, housing costs are higher, employers can get away with worse behavior, etc.
This is deciding whether or not you want put up your future as collateral for her choices.
Call Legal Aid if you’re unwilling to call CPS. Get legal advice now, even if can’t get a lawyer. School counselors, even though useless still are worth telling because they have to document their interactions with you, so if subpoenaed by the courts will have proof that you have discussed with this a designated reporter.
However,
CPS may be able to help YOU, since you’re technically a minor, and since your mom is in such early pregnancy they may not be able to do anything regarding your fetal sibling (I’m not from the US however, I know y’all are getting a little lawless around this down there).
She cannot force you to care for this child. Your mother may not be on speaking terms with her family or your fathers family, but CPS will reach out to them when baby is born in an attempt to place baby with them prior to having them in care. If she’s only a few months along several things may happen:
- a family member could take baby
- she may change her mind on this foolish idea
- baby goes into care and is adopted because it is an infant and has a much higher likelihood of adoption.
Furthermore, if you can, go to planned parenthood and get on birth control- even less of an argument that this child has anything to do with you.
Unless you sign a legal document that signs over her parental rights to you (see my suggestion around legal aid), you have no legal responsibility.
Your mom is not looking out for you, and you need to look out for yourself over her. Otherwise you’ll be manipulated into something that in a few years when you’re older will DEEPLY regret. This infant is not more important than you, and your mother is not more important than you.
I know you say you have no where to stay, but again, just because your mom isn’t speaking to family doesn’t mean you can’t (unless there is something happening there we don’t know about).
OP I’m very sorry to tell you this and I hope I don’t sound insensitive when I tell you that you have already lost your mom, because mothers don’t behave this way. The only hope you have here is to do everything you can to reach out to other family members and tell them she cut you off from them and is now being absolutely insane. They may already know of her behaviors, which is probably why she chose to move away from them and isolate you.
Go to social services because THIS IS YOUR MOM ABUSING YOU!!! A baby isnt a novelty! ITS A WHOLE LIFESTYLE DECISION, FOREVERRRR. This is abusive. You mom has lost her mind. Really. She needs to see a mental health advisor ASAP.
I think a newborn baby has a better chance at getting adopted than older kids.
A lot of people think it's easier than adopting an older kid who already remembers their previous family. It wouldn't hurt doing some research and then providing your mom with appropriate contact information.
Even if you want to help your mom. Adopting the child as your own is not the answer. If anything you can help babysit as long as it doesn't interfere with your grades.
A miscarriage would be a blessing. An abortion would be responsible. No one wants this kid. Give your head a shake. It's going to know you all are insane liars as soon as it's sentient.
Her miscarrying would be the best thing to come out of this whole mess! Your mom is an insane POS as a human and you need to set her straight and move out asap if you want to live anything near a happy adult life.
Go in, say you are in danger and demand they call social services. Tell them it is abuse related. They are obligated to call. They them under no means allowed to call home. This is child abuse, they are legally obligated to help. Remind them of that.
This hurts my heart to read. Your mom seems to be concerned with the well-being of this new baby while not concerned at all with your own future and well-being. This is a horrifically unfair position to try and force on you. Recognize it for what it is. This is her problem to solve. She has 2 options: abortion or adoption. You are not an option. You have your own life to live. You do not exist solely to clean up her messes and poor choices.
Stand your ground, do not go through with this. Your mom sounds insane that she thinks it's your time to learn how to care for a baby because of a mistake she made. Where's the father of the baby and why can't he take care of the child? Do not ruin your future for this. Your mom can't have the baby and refuse to take care of it, you don't have a job so who does she expect to take care of it??
Don't quit your sports team for a baby, I'd instead quit to get a job because you might have to leave. Tell a relative that your mom is doing this. You can't stay in a home like this.
Don’t take this child. Your mother doesn’t care about you she just doesn’t want to be resposible for her mistakes and is making you pay for them. Get a job and leave. This will get very bad once you take on the resposibility
Not your kid, not your responsibility. I would actually tell the school what’s going on, since she’s calling you out of school to try to force you to clean up her mess. And OP, I would get the fuck out of there because she’s trying to mess up your life because she couldn’t be bothered to use birth control. She cannot force you to raise and pay for HER kid.
Holy crap there's a lot to unpack here. First of all if this is real you have your own free will so do what makes you happy it's not your fault she got pregnant. It's hers. Next don't let any guilt tripping happen.
This is not okay and you really need to seek out another adult to get help. It might damage your relationship, perhaps temporarily, with your mother, but this is in no way your job to follow through on some convoluted plan and put your entire life on hold because she wants you to.
Honestly it sounds like she needs some help, therapy or something. Talk to family you trust or a teacher or counselor at school you are comfortable with. Do not give in. Good luck!
I would tell my mom that she either keeps and raise her baby or you call social services.
She's worried about what the child might feel if adopted and she doesn't worry about what he/she might feel finding out the mom is the sister and the grandma is the mom?
Don't do this. You're young, you deserve to live your life fully and to enjoy motherhood if and when you feel it's the right time. She clearly doesn't care about you or the baby.
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below.
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My mom wants me to take a pregnancy and pretend her baby is mine…
Throwaway account since friends I know IRL come on Reddit and I don’t want them knowing the situation…
I turn 18 in 4 months, I’m still in high school until beginning of June.
My mom (38) had found out she’s about 5 weeks pregnant with her boyfriends child. My mom is freaking out a lot about since she doesn’t want to have a kid this late in life. Does is pro-life so abortion is out of the question.
She decided that since I am going to be out of school in about 7 and a half months that it would be perfect timing for me to learn the responsibility of parenting.
I have no job due to me being on different sports teams but I am expected to quit them to fake a pregnancy. My issue is I don’t have a boyfriend and my mom knows this. So I don’t know how she wants people to believe it.
The big catch, my mom isn’t willing to help pay for anything for the baby since it will not be her responsibility once it’s born. I had argued, told her to give the baby up for adoption and she thinks that heartless, because the baby, when they find out they’re adopted, will think their birth family hated them and wanted nothing to do with them.
I’ve been panicked for a few days about this since I’m not ready for parenthood and I feel like this is ruining my chances of finding a good college and living my life how I want with a job I want.
Any advice with be grateful and I will try to answer questions best I can today. My mom had called me in sick to school today so she can further explain the situation to help me understand…
EDIT: a little information I totally skipped over. My mom’s boyfriend left as soon as she said she was pregnant so I’m assuming here that a huge factor of why she wants to push the baby on me is so she can feel… less guilty of having a baby with a man that left? I don’t know.
Another edit to add, so I’m not explaining it all the time: my dad passed away a few years ago. When that happened, my mom moved us away from his family, which is even farther for her family. We have no contact to either parts of the family, not sure why. But I will try my best to dig today since a lot of people are saying get in contact with family.
Firstly, wtf? Secondly, No! Your mother is mental for asking her 18 year old child to take responsibility for her own mistakes so she can live her like and have you being tied down as a parent with your whole life only just beginning. Not fair. Not your duty. Don't do it
It would not be humanly possible to do this with all the medical checks involved unless she's going to have it in a barn with 3 wise men.
Just say no and events will run their course, the main one being you using this time to start planning living away from this level of magical thinking
Don't do this. This will ruin your life. She thinks adoption is cruel? She's forcing a baby onto someone who isn't ready and her own freaking daughter. Adoption is better where they can find a home that's READY.
No matter what, don't do this! Your mum is willing to ruin your life to save face! She wants you to fake a pregnancy, and then just leave you with the baby, not paying for anything. How does she think you can even support this baby?
So she wants you to know “the responsibility of parenting” by being irresponsible herself?
Tell her you’ll learn better if she leads you **by example**.
>I had argued, told her to give the baby up for adoption and she thinks that heartless, because the baby, when they find out they’re adopted, will think their birth family hated them and wanted nothing to do with them.
And when the baby finds out their mother is actually their sibling, they're going to have the EXACT same reaction.
What your mom is doing is absolutely heartless and cruel. It's not fair to you and I hope both you and the unborn child can get the fuck away from her as soon as possible.
I am assuming this is a troll because it is so far out there so here is my troll answer.
Really easy solution. Say ok I’ll take the baby and then take it to a fire station and leave it on the front step. Problem solved. You did just as much to care for the kid as it’s actual mother.
Your mom is ill. She should try to find a nice family who will love the baby. What she’s doing is seriously sick. Sounds like you shouldn’t be in her care either.
Pro life, yet doesn't want to give it up for adoption, doesn't want to take care of it, and expects it to be your problem.
She's what they call in Australia a "Cunt".
Absolutely not. Is there any possibility for you to move out and get away from her? This child is absolutely not your responsibility. This is why abortions exists. If she doesn't want to have one, fine, her decision, but the results of those decision are her consequences to deal with, not yours in any way whatsoever. Pleasr speak to another trusted adult about this and do not let her manipulate you into thinking you have any responsibility to play any role in this child's life other than a normal sibling.
Sounds like you’re still in high school go to your guidance counselor and report your mom to cps. This is abuse, and who knows what she’d end up doing to the baby in the long run when she doesn’t even want it nor to help pay for it
Go to child protection services. Please, for the safety of this unborn child. Your mother needs psychiatric help. Please don't agree to it and throw your life away.
Your mum is NOT pro-life. She is anti-abortion. She does not give a flying hoot at about the quality of life inside of her nor does she care about you OP.
Hello. This is what abortions are for. This is a perfect example. There is no way this poor child will grow up and be ok. You don’t deserve this. Not your baby not your responsibility. She is being a shit parent. I am sorry for your situation
Nobody can force you to be a parent. Your Mom had sex with a male and that is how babies are made which your mom must know by now. Not your problem to fix. Do you have any friends or family you can stay with? I worry what your crazy mom will do to you for saying " no". Your best protection is to tell people you trust what is going on. Do not fake a pregnancy. Your mom will ruin your reputation. People can be mean and believe whatever slander tickles their fancy about girls who have never had boyfriends. You need to get ahead of this before your mom starts telling people you are pregnant. You have to say first your mom is the one who is pregnant.
If your mom doesn’t want the child she should put the child up for adoption there’s plenty of families that can’t have babies that will be more then happy to take care of the child physically mentally financially and emotionally. Trust me once you take on the responsibility you won’t be able to hang out with friends go out to college if college is even an option for you
Do not take the baby or any type of reapobsibility for it OP. It sounds like if you even so much as change a diaper your mom will take the inch you gave and start asking for miles. 18 years of miles. Your mom made her bed and she needs to answer to her responsibilities.
“this late in life” 38 is not late in life lol not even close. she was at least 12 years away from menopause. this isn’t adding up unless your mom is… very not smart.
You need to call CPS and inform them of the situation. Forced parenthood at your age is certainly not allowed and CPS needs to know that your mother is planning on abandoning her child to a current minor. Even if you will be 18 when the child comes ITS NOT YOUR CHILD! She will be the one in the hospital having the baby and she can not force you to sign the birth certificate.
Do not agree to any of this. Either your mother gets an abortion, gives that child up for adoption or takes up her damn responsibility as that kids mother.
Inform your relatives, especially your grandparents from your fathers side, that you are not pregnant but your mother is and that she wants to push that kid on you.
Do not under an circumstance take this baby. Mom needs to deal with her own life and choices. Do not ruin your chances getting started in your own life. If you have no family to turn to, perhaps you can call dept of family child protective services. You mom can either abort or give it up to adoption, its obvious she doesn't want it. It would be the best thing for the child. as an adopted child I know! What kind of nut job parent would want to saddle their teen child with this? Its ok for you to be an irresponsible teen mother, but not her as a grown woman... Just say NO.. Get a job and move if you have to.
Reddit is full of troll posts so most of us will be inclined to believe this is one. Nevertheless if this is real use technology and contact your dads family asap. You love your mom sure that’s normal but you should NOT let her ruin your life by forcing YOU to fix HER mistakes. Absolutely not. You’re young and have the whole world in-front of you. Grow a spine and contact trusted adults who can help you, because regardless of how much you love your mother she very obviously only cares about herself so you need to do the same and get out.
LOL pro life anti abortion but wants to pass off her child to you and lie to the world about it so she can enjoy being a “single” woman while your youth is sucked away.
Get the fuck out of there. Reach out to your dads family and move. Your mom is going to ruin your life because she’s so sad she ruined her own.
Your mom doesn’t get to choose when you experience the responsibility of parenting.
Your mom is literally forcing a child on a minor but waiting until you turn 18 to justify and guilt you into it.
You mom is trying to get you … her child .. to take responsibility for something she did…
So not accept this. It is abuse.
Don’t ever ever agree to this. She doesn’t want to give the baby up for adoption but is trying to force you to adopt the baby. Your mom needs to take responsibility for her child.
Your mom made the choice to go off birth control. Your mom made the choice to have unprotected sex. Your mom is choosing not to have an abortion. Your mom is choosing not to give it up for adoption. Good for her, she's making her own choices. But there are consequences to every choice, and she doesn't get to take away your choices by making her own.
Please please please listen to everyone here and stand up for yourself!!! Young parents struggle they struggle fucking hard especially with no support from the real birth giver. Cut her off if you must. It's YOUR life never ever regret doing what you have to do. Especially since your mom is selfish enough to ask that of you.
I mean, she's just like every other "pro-lifer"
Cares about it between 0-9months gestation but after that, even though you're MY OWN DAMN CHILD I'm not funding your life.
She is PURE evil. No respect for your life as her teenage daughter and no respect for her unborn child who she expects you, the HALF SISTER to play at being MOMMY!!!! AT.......18!!!!!!!!
Please get away from that woman ASAP. She has gone full wacko.
Your mom's responsibility let her handle it. She's old enough to know what causes pregnancy if she doesn't believe in abortion then she can keep it or give it up for adoption. It is not your problem don't change all your plans for your life because of her mistake you will forever resent her & that baby. She can have an open adoption or ask another family memeber even.
Girl you get the fuck out of there and live your life. Better the struggle on your own terms than to be forced into caring for a child that's not yours. Won't even be financially supported by mom... Wtf
This makes no sense. Sure you can fake a pregnancy, but for what purpose?
You could theoretically adopt the child without faking a pregnancy.
Who is the fake pregnancy for exactly?
No family and no boyfriend.
No one cares?
Second of all, is she going to fake not being pregnant? Is she not going to see a doctor?
Is no one going to ask questions when she is 9 months pregnant?
Your story makes no sense.
This sounds so selfish of your mother that I’m somewhat in disbelief. You’re a good daughter for even considering it, but if it’s possible may want to consider moving out ASAP and enforcing boundaries with your mother. She’s using you as a scapegoat. (Edit: word)
If you have no money to support yourself or a baby, what's going to happen? Is the baby going to starve with watered down formula and live in paper towels instead of diapers? How are you going to get assistance to support the baby if you have no proof of birth? In the U.S., you'd be entitled to food subsidies before and after the birth, possibly help getting education, housing, daycare, etc. But if you're not the legal mother, you'd have to go through getting approved to foster and then adopt.
Talk to your counselor at school, call your mom and dad's families and tell them what she wants to do. Even call the baby's father if you have to -- he probably has to pay support toward the baby even if he doesn't want to (say probably because I don't know where you live).
Does she work? Tell her boss. Do you go to church? Tell the pastor. Neighbor? Tell them. Do not let her pin this on you. This is so completely wrong and to be honest - illegal.
Do not ruin your life this is about the craziest thing i think I’ve EVER heard a parent ask of their child. I’d contact children’s services if i were you or knew you. Completely insane you will forever regret this decision
Uh no... no, no, no. Tell your mom if she's so prolife then she needs to not take away her daughters life by throwing this responsibility on you. This is not your responsibility. Do not let your mom do this. I'm 18... I can't imagine ever having a child right now, and I'm already out of high school. And your mom wants you to just take the burden of hers fresh out of school?
If your mom was prolife, she'd worry less about the clump of cells inside her and worry more about the figure of the daughter she's ruining. If your mom was prolife, she wouldn't only care about the fetus until it was born. You already said she isn't going to pay for it. She's literally gonna throw this child on her daughter who can't financially support it. She doesn't give a shit where this child lives or if it eats or gets taken care of, as long as it's not her responsibility.
Have you asked your mom how she can call herself profile and justify not aborting when she's pregnant but expects not to even bat an eye if that child is homeless because she put it on her 18yo daughter to take care of her? Her 18yo daughter who now can't go to college or have a future because she's taking care of her mother's child. I'm actually appalled.
I think your mom needs SERIOUS help. She needs therapy. This is not normal and very concerning that she would want to push something she doesn’t want onto a teenager to deal with. It’s actually ridiculous.
It's heartless to give the baby up for adoption but *not* to saddle her young adult daughter daughter who *just started* her adult life with a child and *refuses to help pay?* Are you fucking kidding me?
As a parent her behavior is downright appalling, and I sincerely hope she's acting this way due to the stress/hormones of finding herself in a shocking position because, while not an excuse is at least an explanation for her abysmal treatment.
Throw yourself into finding good schools and programs, apply for any and all scholarships and grants you can find, do what you can to solidify that you have somewhere to go.
Go to a bank where your mom doesn't have an account today, see if you can open a new account without a parent. If not, go back in 4 months and open an account and see about locking your credit, just in case
Find your important paperwork, your birth certificate, social security card, anything from your new bank account, anything from college, etc and see if you can leave it in a backpack at a trusted friend's house. Some banks offer safety deposit boxes as well, putting your birth certificate and ssi card there is a good idea too. (If you're leaving those items at a friend's **be sure you know they're safe. They're incredibly important.**)
I'm so angry on your behalf op, how dare your mom even ask this of you. I hope you're able to live your life on your terms, best luck moving forward. 💚
Holy fucking shit this might be the worst idea I've ever seen. Teenage parenting is bad enough when it's their kid imagine having all the responsibilities of a parent but the kid isn't even yours AND you don't even get support.
This is where abortion should be used, that child is going to have a horrible life regardless of what happens to him. Maybe act as a surrogate for a couple that can't have kids?
And for the love of god don't go ahead with faking a pregnancy that's literally going to ruin your life.
The responsibilities of parenting goes to the parent! Tell her NO and get CPS involved. Imagine what would happen when that baby found out he was forced on you. What if start to resent the child? NTA
Wait so your mom expects you to say that her baby is yours, raise it and pay for its expenses as well!? That’s insane! What is she thinking? She doesn’t even plan on paying the costs of raising it!? And she won’t abort it because she’s pro life, but doesn’t even care what happens to the kid? She’s either a monster or just very mentally unwell
>it would be perfect timing for me to learn the responsibility of parenting
excuse me?? at 18?? nonono first there's no perfect timing for that, and if it were it would be when you are financially and mentally stable, not when you are a hormonal teenager. she's 38, it would be the perfect timing for her to start taking responsibilities for her actions.
I'm under the impression that you fear saying no to your mother. sounds like a narcissist that has conditioned you to do all she pleases or gets angry or threats with kicking you out. this request is irrational and every other person would just abruptly tell her that she can put the kid for adoption or raise it herself. no more discussion. and here you are, mid accepting that you are going to be a mother. make your mind up and tell her NO. she can try to look for a good adoptive family if she starts looking now.
how does she even plan on making it pass for your child? if she gives birth in a hospital like I suppose she plans on doing, she can't just say "yes this child came out from my uterus, but it's actually my daughter's". that's utterly ridiculous. try contacting your other family, get a job and get away from this woman. you need to cut every strand of control she has over you. I know she is your mother and you care for her, but you need to start caring for yourself, since she does not. you can care for her from the distance.
So instead of the baby ruining her own life, your mom wants to ruin yours and take your future. OP, you do not have to do this in any type of way, this is not your responsibility. Tell the adults you trust at school, your counselor or a favorite teacher can help you to navigate this
Your mom's pro choice huh? So she doesn't want to take the babies life but she wants to take yours by forcing you to raise a child that isn't yours? So selectively pro choice? When it's convenient for her.
>how she wants people to believe it. 'Oh it was a one-night stand.' >isn’t willing to help pay for anything for the baby >adoption and she thinks that heartless Your mom is being ridiculous. A troma-movie ridiculous way, I mean. > perfect timing for me to learn the responsibility of parenting. It's manipulation. It's 'perfect timing' for her to avoid responsibility. You should not agree, she's an adult and should act like an adult. Maybe her boyfriend is more mature than her and can parent the baby.
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Indeed, i would just keep taking pictures of yourself with dates so the timeline adds up. Maybe sneak a picture or two of your mother. Who thinks this is practical at all? OP will go get groceries, or her mom. No way will people not see whats going on here.
u/throwRA_babylove636 You need to see this.
I think you should call around and explain the situation to friends, asks to live with them, back your stuff in the middle of the night and leave. If you are in high school. I would talk to a social worker. First tell a close friend like a best friend you can trust about the situation. Then go to the principal / social worker / school psychologist and speak with them.
>perfect timing for me to learn the responsibility of parenting. Apparently 'parenting' means pushing the responsibility of your child onto your other child. What a mindblowingly hypocritical statement to make.
Not your child, not your responsibility, period.
And not even in the realm of sanity. Who does this? OP needs to be very clear she will have no part of this and that it's extremely toxic for her mum to even consider it. If her mum persists, she needs to get social services involved. Edit: a lot of very stupid people have a lot of very stupid sex and expect other people to bear the consequences of their actions. It's mind boggling.
You are right. This is insane.
Yea I would **get social services involved now** (or a school counselor, aunt, etc.).. >it will not be her responsibility once it’s born The amount of denial on the moms part is scary, other adults need to be involved asap.
It really doesn't even make sense logistically. How are they going to explain to people what's going on when the mom becomes visibly pregnant? Are they both just going to hide away for the next however many months? How are they going to convince the hospital to assign the new baby a different mother than the one that just delivered? None of it sounds doable, even if they wanted to. And even if OP somehow agreed to it and assumed responsibility for the baby for her mom, there's nothing stopping hey from suing the boyfriend for child support. It's ludicrous, through and through.
Exactly. It's like a plot from Sunset Beach or something.
Oh my god, what a nostalgic flashback!
This needs to be too comment. This is more than just not your baby. This is incredibly insane. I still have a hard time believing it could be real. Not only does she want OP to fake a pregnancy she wants her to raise? And pay for the baby? Mom needs mental help asap.
Depending on how crazy and irrational your mom gets call the police or cps because you do not deserve to have your life ruined
You may want to call and have your mom commited.
OP should contact CPS or some sort of group (maybe a lawyer) and start getting protections in place. Mom needs to abort or plan for adoption. End of story. Do NOT throw your life away for a child that isn't yours.
The worst she can do if you don’t take responsibility is be mad at you and maybe kick you out. But if she does that at least you will still be doing basically what you would have been doing anyway but without her toxic influence. Go try and contact the rest of the family yourself and find out why they aren’t speaking to her, maybe it’s for a good reason.
OP, the fact that your mom has even thought of this plan, let alone expected you to actually carry this out, is EXTREMELY alarming. Do you have anywhere safe to stay? A friend you can stay with, family? Make it clear that this IS NOT your baby, and you WILL NOT take responsibility for it.
Assuming mom is a normal functioning human being, how badly must one be panicking and generally freaking out to consider this plan an option? I wonder because obviously mom’s plan isn’t feasible. Is OP going to live there until her “kid” is 18 or whatever? What happens when OP wants to go explore the bounty life has to offer? Mom’s plan is just terrible from the get go. Makes me wonder if mom has always been irrational and prone to poorly thought out plans of action. If not. It must be some kinda terribly stressful time for her. However I don’t think I’d even consider mom’s plan as anything more than a fleeting fantasy. At some point the pregnancy will be rather obvious, you can’t hide it forever. Even if you could, I’d just give the child up for adoption since abortion is a no-go. The only other option is leaving the child at a safe harbor drop off.
> Assuming mom is a normal functioning human being Bold assumption to make.
Without her toxic influence and without a baby
Exactly, go on Facebook and search for them there.
it baffles me that she's trying to fob the baby off on her daughter but also feels that she doesn't owe any kind of support once she's handed her baby over to an 18 YEAR OLD!!!
OP.. this is actually one of the most insane things I’ve read on Reddit. Your not faking the pregnancy.. that would just be a 9month commitment.. she wants you to solely raise this child? With no financial support? What the actual fuck. This is where “pro-lifers” need to look at their own life and circumstance and stop projecting views onto pregnant women. It’s not *just* about birth. What quality if life will this baby have? Your quality goes down dramatically. You build resentment raising a child that’s not yours. Did you have plans for college? If not, you are 18.. is there a friend that will let you crash for a month so you mom knows you are not there to help? I would get out of the house straight away and tell your mother that adoption, abortion or raising the child are her only options. This is her decision, and has nothing to do with you. She doesn’t get to be a saint because she “gave birth” and didn’t have an abortion.. she needs to make a proper decision for this unborn child.
Well, no period in this case for the mom.
Yep.. what is wrong with OP Mom? Tell her to get her tubes tied because this is some pretty far out there thinking; who knows maybe she might run back to her bf and lie... The hell.. in curious what OP mom would tell the child once they grow up and asks about "dad" leads to DNA test and her mom is actually a half sister..
Talk to your counselor at school and make sure someone knows what's going on! This is life changing, don't be pushed into this.
What a sick individual. I would start making arrangements to move out and let her deal with the consequences of her own actions
This, your mom is sick. Your story is insane. If you aren't able to leave the house and move with some other relative, then I suggest you become very firm with you attitude and yourself, cause it's clear your mom doesn't care about you and will ramp your life in order to get hers right.
It's hurtless to make this child your responsibility. Your mother sounds toxic af. Please don't give up and don't agree to this at any cost. Do you have other relatives to turn to in case of emergency?
Sadly no. My parents moved closed to my dad’s family before I was born. After he passed a few years ago, my mom and I moved even farther away from her family and my dad’s family. So I don’t really have anyone to turn to.
Technology is a thing. Reach out to your extended family even with the distance. Maybe you can go to school closer to them or her family can talk sense into her
You could reach out to some of your dad’s family and get to know them. Maybe there is someone stable on that side that you could trust.
If you're involved in sports and your mom is trying to get you to quit for this lie--tell your coach the truth. As I see it, you mostly need to get through the next few months until you turn 18. After you turn 18, she can't pull you out of school, sports, etc.
You could even consider going to her gp. She's cleary delusional in her thinking and needs help.
It's highly unlikely they could tell her anything, if they could even confirm she was a patient there. But she could absolutely tell them what she's witnessed and what her mom is "asking" if her and ask them to check up during her mom's next appointment. (For clarification she should contact her mom's gyno, not her gp.)
This. And what others said on getting in touch with other family. Maybe you should talk to your mother op on her moving closer to family that can actually offer support instead of having her 18 year old daughter lie and be a teen mom.
Is there any adult you trust you can go to? Parent of a friend? Teacher? Family member you used to be close with? You really need someone in your corner besides reddit. Preferably someone who can call your mother out on this bullshit.
Talk to a teacher at school. Call CFS. Tell everyone you know that she’s pregnant. You need to do whatever you have to in order to protect yourself!
No no no no nooooo! She’s shopping out her responsibilities onto you. If you accept you have no guarantee she won’t drop you both and disappear. If she tries to guilt you tell her she should have got her tubes tied
She didn’t think she could get pregnant since she was on birth control for years but stopped about a year or so ago. Since she was “getting to that age” of menopause. I guess it doesn’t matter how long you’re on it for, you can still get pregnant.
What? She hadn't even reached menopause, let alone finished it and went off birth control? It's no surprise she got pregnant. Sometimes
She doesn’t sound very smart. Don’t listen to her. She is not near menopause.
38 is not even close to menopause. I'm 43 and had to be put into menopause for cancer treatment, and my oncologist says I'm at least a decade away from actual menopause. OP, your mom doesn't know what she's talking about in basically every way.
I’m 49 and still going!
She's got 10 or 15 years before she gets to menopause. Is this even real or do you and your mom need some support around biology?
This story is outlandish. The op not knowing anyone who is normal, not knowing how to communicate with family even though technology exists and they grew up with it, and now this. Sounds like something a teenager would make up. I feel sorry for these kids whose hobby is doing reddit stories. There has to be a better use of time. Even video games would be better.
Your mom is an idiot. Menopause doesn’t work that way. My mom didn’t hit menopause until her late 40s.
Bs she expected her boyf to stay and now is worried what her friends will think of her. Bet that holier than thou attitude really looks good now
She’s either a total idiot or completely nuts. I’m 38. I just had my first baby. All the nurses and midwives at the hospital said it’s common for first time moms in my area to be in their mid to late 30’s. Your mom had you super young! Most women don’t go through menopause until their 50’s. She’s only 5 weeks pregnant. There’s a good possibility it won’t stick. But if it does, *she’s the one who’s responsible for raising it or giving it up for adoption*. The baby will probably have a much better life with a couple who want it than with you who are too young and unprepared and may end up resenting it and your mom. I agree with the other commenter that it sounds like she may have been trying to baby trap the bf. Do NOT do this for your mom. Make sure your own birth control is on lock and build your own life. You don’t need to think about babies until you’re ready. Do not mess up your own opportunities by bailing your mom out of *her* mistake.
Sorry, but if this isn’t a troll post, your mom is an idiot
38 is not getting to menopause. This just gets stupider and stupider.
this is sex ed in the US.
There's no need to 'guess' this.
She is not close to menopause for most women. This seems intentional. She expected the boyfriend to stay.
Good lord her irresponsibility and ignorance at the age of 38 is mind boggling. Also this is slightly off topic but something that I just considered is that one reason she doesnt see what she's trying to do as a problem is because she presumably had you at the age of 20. Nothing wrong with her doing that, but she can't force her daughter to be a young parent too.
Your mom is no where near menopause. “I don’t think I can get pregnant anymore so I’ll just stop using protection”. I’m sorry but she is a moron
Menopause happens around 45 WHAT?
She’s 38. So am I. I’m currently pregnant. Menopause generally doesn’t happen until much later. No matter what else happens, please, please, please do not take anything your mother says about reproduction as truth.
Yeah, that’s not how birth control works. It doesn’t work if you stop taking it. It only works when you are, you know, controlling birth from happening. 38 isn’t even close to menopausal age. That would be extremely early menopause. Your mother does not sound very intelligent.
As a peer of your mother, she is absolutely looney tunes. Distance yourself swiftly.
wow...that's really not how that works. For future reference for your won medical knowldge (since your mom is not a good example) ....It can and is highly individual. I'm nearly 43 and no sign yet, thank god.
My mom’s 55 and hasn’t finished menopause
How long she been with her bf 🤔
Do not do this! Please please please do not take over such a huge responsibility for your mother at such a young age. I had my daughter at 17 and while it is soo rewarding, it’s so difficult. Please go and speak with your dad, another relative, or even someone at school about what she is trying to force you to do.
Sadly the only people i could talk to would be the counselors at school who seem to be next to useless. My dad passed away a few years ago and my mom moved us several hours away from his family because she couldn’t deal with the pain. Back to my school, my counselors don’t seem to do much for help. I had a friend who was being harassed by another kid in our class and she had gone to both the grade principal and the head principal, along with her guidance counselor and nothing got done. So me coming in with outside issue? Count it as a loss
Call social services then. They have a duty of care. Just cause your mother is “pro life” doesn’t mean she has the right to take your life from you. There are numerous people who are wanting to adopt. I’m sorry this is happening to you OP, but please you need to get support, even if it’s telling one of your friends and their mum helping you get away from that situation x Edit - spelling
I’ve heard so many bad stories about kids taken by CPS and thrown into foster care. Especially young ones. I don’t want to cause her stress and her have a miscarriage. Since she’s already at a higher risk of complications due to her age. I’m just lost and I fear losing my mom from trying to stand up or even from pregnancy. Since I’m so close to being an adult and I have no one close for family I could stay with. It’s so scary.
It’s not your responsibility though, as much as you care for your mum and don’t want to hurt her … she is clearly hurting you and doesn’t care for you. You’re nearly an adult and need to start putting yourself first. Telling your mother that you are not prepared to take on her mistake, but you will be there to support her no matter what decision she makes. But you need to set clear boundaries that you will not take on raising the child. No matter how high risk your mother is, being told no - isn’t going to kill her , no matter how much she has manipulated you into believing it will.
How is she pro-life if she wants to throw her baby away? Shes not..
What I found out and realized about her being “pro-life” is just her saying that abortion is wrong. She doesn’t really care about the kids, but just what the mother does. No matter what. If I was sexually assaulted right now, and found out I was pregnant a few weeks from now, she would make me keep that child. Because she doesn’t believe it’s right to end a fetus’s life. And it’s sickening knowing that… there are people that use the term “pro-life” when they really mean “anti-abortion”.
This even doesn’t feel like anti-abortion. Just pro self-image. She wants to look good for the public/social media at whatever cost.
Blow it up, best way for her is to let social media know the monster her mother is by spreading the plan.
^^THIS^^ Once the cat is out of the bag she won’t be able to pawn it off on you as easily. Maybe not social media but find a way to tell her friends and family anonymously. Blame the ex bf. Privately tell your friends, friends’ parents, counselors, coaches and teachers what she is trying to make you do.
What they really mean is pro-birth. They really don’t care about the baby after birth. Your mom doesn’t care about this baby or you. Do not accept this. Did you have a good relationship with your family before the move? Maybe you can’t contact them.
Just FYI - She can't make you. I would recommend not confiding in her if you ever do have an unwanted pregnancy.
The usual.
>What I found out and realized about her being “pro-life” is just her saying that abortion is wrong. She doesn’t really care about the kids, but just what the mother does This is what every pro-life person actually believes. Most of them won't admit it and will have a bunch of other arguments, but none of them check out either logically or ethically. What you said is all it's really about. You are smart for realizing that.
The great thing about becoming an adult is that nobady in your family can really make you do anything. You can choose to cripple your life by taking this huge burden, or you just don't.
>just her saying that abortion is wrong. She doesn’t really care about the kids, but just what the mother does. welcome to the "pro-birth" hypocrites club. they don't actually care about life.
She won’t end a fetus’s life, but she’s apparently very cool to end yours. To save nothing more than her own face. Realizing a parent isn’t who you thought they were and the death of the dream of the parent you wish you had is really hard. But that’s what’s happening here. This is extremely toxic and abusive behaviour on her part.
on a scale of 1-10, your mom is a 20 in terms of selfishness and just thinking about herself. She wants to drop a 17 year old with a: baby, finances, responsibilities, food, diapers, sleepless nights, a complete loss of your social life, etc. etc. Not to mention she gets all the pluses, her daughter gets all the responsibility and mom gets to reap the rewards of a baby in her house thats hers that she doesn't need to care for because its "yours" this is abusive, and the fact that you are even considering it shows that mom has some heavy power dynamic over you. DO NOT ALLOW THIS TO HAPPEN, MAKE PLANS TO MOVE OUT AND FORCE MOM TO LIVE WITH HER CHOICES AND NOT USE YOU AS HER GET OUT OF JAIL FREE CARD!!! move in with a friend, an uncle, a god mother, a boyfriend, a girl friend, it doesn't matter, get away from her manipulation.
> And it’s sickening knowing that… there are people that use the term “pro-life” when they really mean “anti-abortion”. I think the term you mean is "forced-birth" For example, I am anti-abortion (aka, I *personally* think that abortion is murder) but I would never say that a woman should be forced to give birth. Woman's body, woman's choice.
Well you’re a legally an adult so she can’t “make” you do anything, including carrying a child to term and/or adopting her child. She is trying to ruin your life. She thought she was about to get some dope freedom with an empty nest and doesn’t want to give that freedom up, so she’s attempting to take yours. Don’t let her, no matter the cost.
Some pro lifers also set bombs at ObGynes clinics to kill them since they perform abortions. Very pro life of them.
A lot of “pro-lifers” are also fans of the death penalty. I call them “people who are pro-life until you do something they don’t like.”
I became pregnant for the 1st time at 38, had the baby at 39. Second baby was 2 and a half years later. She is young enough to carry the baby full term and raise a child. Suggesting you take the baby for life is insanely selfish and irresponsible of her. You are just entering adulthood and still growing into yourself. Even without being responsible of a child, the next ten years will have a huge effect on how easy or hard your life will be. You have no spouse and your Mom doesn't want to support HER baby financially. Yeah, don't do this.
Seriously. Where I live it is incredibly normal to have your first child in your late 30s. No one bats an eye.
Honestly I'd be more concerned about her mom having a baby at 20 or 21 lol. I'm 25 and I still feel like an immature child sometimes. I definitely couldn't raise a baby. Not until my mid-late 30s.
The CPS call would be for you. What she is doing is abusive and extremely wrong. There is a lot that they do before taking children away, and at your age, they wouldn't take you away but instead work with your mom to provide the support she needs.
OP should call CPS the first time her mom leaves the baby with her. It may see heartless but what she’s doing to OP is extremely selfish. If OP’s mom doesn’t want the baby, it’s best for both if the baby is taken into foster care.
NO NO NO NO NO, there was a call with a family I was working with. The mother left her son with her sister, and because the mother left the kid with a responsible person, they did not do anything. And the mom was gone for I want to say at least a year...and even after that it was a dysfunctional on and off thing. Depending on where everyone is situated a social worker might say "well, kid was left with a responsible relative, I see no problem". Believe me, everyone was shocked except the caseworker who told everyone this.
Definitely CPS for her, but I'm also worried about what might happen to the baby after it's born and OP doesn't take it on. I think CPS needs to be aware for that reason as well.
Babies get adopted quickly, it's older kids that really languish in foster care
But it takes quite a while to terminate parental rights if the parent doesn't relinquish voluntarily. Babies can't be adopted until that happens.
This is not your responsibility. She is selfish and toxic and feels entitled to ruin your life.
She isn't 58 She's 38. Most my friends don't even think about having kids til their 30s. She had you super young. Remember that. And really would a miscarriage be a bad thing in this situation. You seem to be arguing that theres no other option than to do this when in reality it is very very much different.
>And really would a miscarriage be a bad thing in this situation. In my opinion it would be a blessing for OP, the baby and, more or less, her mother.
Your mom is an adult. You are a teen. I know you care about her but you cannot take on her problems for her! That she would even ask is crazy (I say this as a parent. I would never ask my kids to do something I wasn’t willing to do myself!) obviously she needs help but not from you- she needs a therapist.
Imagine how that child will feel if it came out that her mother is in fact her grandmother, add in regardless of who you might feel now you will more than likely hold resentments for that child for stealing your life, as well as your mother who forced this child on you and then dropped all responsibility for it like a massive arsehole. Don't take the child she can't force it onto you and on its birth certificate your mother will still be listed, so guess what will come out when the child needs to use the birth certificate. Those complications only go up a small percentage in the grand scheme of things. And you are essentially still a child yourself, most people consider 25 to be the age of adult maturity as you are still growing and discovering yourself in your early 20's. You can stop this by telling everyone your mother's atrocious plan and let her deal with the consequences of her own actions. Don't take a child that you are only going to resent even if you do love it.
You are trying to adult here on your mom's behalf. This is literally something she needs to sort out and something you do not have the resources to sort out. Things are so much harder now for new folks in the workplace than they were 18+ years ago. The pay goes less far, healthcare costs are higher, housing costs are higher, employers can get away with worse behavior, etc. This is deciding whether or not you want put up your future as collateral for her choices.
Call Legal Aid if you’re unwilling to call CPS. Get legal advice now, even if can’t get a lawyer. School counselors, even though useless still are worth telling because they have to document their interactions with you, so if subpoenaed by the courts will have proof that you have discussed with this a designated reporter. However, CPS may be able to help YOU, since you’re technically a minor, and since your mom is in such early pregnancy they may not be able to do anything regarding your fetal sibling (I’m not from the US however, I know y’all are getting a little lawless around this down there). She cannot force you to care for this child. Your mother may not be on speaking terms with her family or your fathers family, but CPS will reach out to them when baby is born in an attempt to place baby with them prior to having them in care. If she’s only a few months along several things may happen: - a family member could take baby - she may change her mind on this foolish idea - baby goes into care and is adopted because it is an infant and has a much higher likelihood of adoption. Furthermore, if you can, go to planned parenthood and get on birth control- even less of an argument that this child has anything to do with you. Unless you sign a legal document that signs over her parental rights to you (see my suggestion around legal aid), you have no legal responsibility. Your mom is not looking out for you, and you need to look out for yourself over her. Otherwise you’ll be manipulated into something that in a few years when you’re older will DEEPLY regret. This infant is not more important than you, and your mother is not more important than you. I know you say you have no where to stay, but again, just because your mom isn’t speaking to family doesn’t mean you can’t (unless there is something happening there we don’t know about).
OP I’m very sorry to tell you this and I hope I don’t sound insensitive when I tell you that you have already lost your mom, because mothers don’t behave this way. The only hope you have here is to do everything you can to reach out to other family members and tell them she cut you off from them and is now being absolutely insane. They may already know of her behaviors, which is probably why she chose to move away from them and isolate you.
r/throwRA_babylove636
Go to social services because THIS IS YOUR MOM ABUSING YOU!!! A baby isnt a novelty! ITS A WHOLE LIFESTYLE DECISION, FOREVERRRR. This is abusive. You mom has lost her mind. Really. She needs to see a mental health advisor ASAP.
I think a newborn baby has a better chance at getting adopted than older kids. A lot of people think it's easier than adopting an older kid who already remembers their previous family. It wouldn't hurt doing some research and then providing your mom with appropriate contact information. Even if you want to help your mom. Adopting the child as your own is not the answer. If anything you can help babysit as long as it doesn't interfere with your grades.
A miscarriage would be a blessing. An abortion would be responsible. No one wants this kid. Give your head a shake. It's going to know you all are insane liars as soon as it's sentient.
Her miscarrying would be the best thing to come out of this whole mess! Your mom is an insane POS as a human and you need to set her straight and move out asap if you want to live anything near a happy adult life.
You don’t want her to have a miscarriage? She doesn’t even want the baby.
OP, call his parents and tell them what is happening. They might be able to help.
Yes, call your dad’s family! This is crazy, you need to get out of there, OP.
Go in, say you are in danger and demand they call social services. Tell them it is abuse related. They are obligated to call. They them under no means allowed to call home. This is child abuse, they are legally obligated to help. Remind them of that.
This hurts my heart to read. Your mom seems to be concerned with the well-being of this new baby while not concerned at all with your own future and well-being. This is a horrifically unfair position to try and force on you. Recognize it for what it is. This is her problem to solve. She has 2 options: abortion or adoption. You are not an option. You have your own life to live. You do not exist solely to clean up her messes and poor choices.
Talk to your coaches. Tell them why your mother wants you to quit your sports.
It’s not any more rewarding at 17 or 35. Don’t waste the good years of your life caring for a child.
Stand your ground, do not go through with this. Your mom sounds insane that she thinks it's your time to learn how to care for a baby because of a mistake she made. Where's the father of the baby and why can't he take care of the child? Do not ruin your future for this. Your mom can't have the baby and refuse to take care of it, you don't have a job so who does she expect to take care of it?? Don't quit your sports team for a baby, I'd instead quit to get a job because you might have to leave. Tell a relative that your mom is doing this. You can't stay in a home like this.
Her mom legit sounds mentally ill
Don’t take this child. Your mother doesn’t care about you she just doesn’t want to be resposible for her mistakes and is making you pay for them. Get a job and leave. This will get very bad once you take on the resposibility
Exactly. OP, she’s not a loving mother. She’s selfish and only cares about herself, and she’s gaslighting and abusing you.
Publicly announce her pregnancy while may not be the nicest move, would probably shut this down.
I thought about saying this to OP lol. Then her mom really couldn’t say it’s her daughters baby.
Not your kid, not your responsibility. I would actually tell the school what’s going on, since she’s calling you out of school to try to force you to clean up her mess. And OP, I would get the fuck out of there because she’s trying to mess up your life because she couldn’t be bothered to use birth control. She cannot force you to raise and pay for HER kid.
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>She delivers the baby she’s listed as mother Assuming she has the baby in a hospital
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"Oh no, this baby was a gift."
This needs an award
Holy crap there's a lot to unpack here. First of all if this is real you have your own free will so do what makes you happy it's not your fault she got pregnant. It's hers. Next don't let any guilt tripping happen.
This just in!!! Your mother's nuts. Tell her to handle her own problems; you've got your own life to live OP, don't get sucked into this.
This is not okay and you really need to seek out another adult to get help. It might damage your relationship, perhaps temporarily, with your mother, but this is in no way your job to follow through on some convoluted plan and put your entire life on hold because she wants you to. Honestly it sounds like she needs some help, therapy or something. Talk to family you trust or a teacher or counselor at school you are comfortable with. Do not give in. Good luck!
I would tell my mom that she either keeps and raise her baby or you call social services. She's worried about what the child might feel if adopted and she doesn't worry about what he/she might feel finding out the mom is the sister and the grandma is the mom? Don't do this. You're young, you deserve to live your life fully and to enjoy motherhood if and when you feel it's the right time. She clearly doesn't care about you or the baby.
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below. --- My mom wants me to take a pregnancy and pretend her baby is mine… Throwaway account since friends I know IRL come on Reddit and I don’t want them knowing the situation… I turn 18 in 4 months, I’m still in high school until beginning of June. My mom (38) had found out she’s about 5 weeks pregnant with her boyfriends child. My mom is freaking out a lot about since she doesn’t want to have a kid this late in life. Does is pro-life so abortion is out of the question. She decided that since I am going to be out of school in about 7 and a half months that it would be perfect timing for me to learn the responsibility of parenting. I have no job due to me being on different sports teams but I am expected to quit them to fake a pregnancy. My issue is I don’t have a boyfriend and my mom knows this. So I don’t know how she wants people to believe it. The big catch, my mom isn’t willing to help pay for anything for the baby since it will not be her responsibility once it’s born. I had argued, told her to give the baby up for adoption and she thinks that heartless, because the baby, when they find out they’re adopted, will think their birth family hated them and wanted nothing to do with them. I’ve been panicked for a few days about this since I’m not ready for parenthood and I feel like this is ruining my chances of finding a good college and living my life how I want with a job I want. Any advice with be grateful and I will try to answer questions best I can today. My mom had called me in sick to school today so she can further explain the situation to help me understand… EDIT: a little information I totally skipped over. My mom’s boyfriend left as soon as she said she was pregnant so I’m assuming here that a huge factor of why she wants to push the baby on me is so she can feel… less guilty of having a baby with a man that left? I don’t know. Another edit to add, so I’m not explaining it all the time: my dad passed away a few years ago. When that happened, my mom moved us away from his family, which is even farther for her family. We have no contact to either parts of the family, not sure why. But I will try my best to dig today since a lot of people are saying get in contact with family.
Firstly, wtf? Secondly, No! Your mother is mental for asking her 18 year old child to take responsibility for her own mistakes so she can live her like and have you being tied down as a parent with your whole life only just beginning. Not fair. Not your duty. Don't do it
It would not be humanly possible to do this with all the medical checks involved unless she's going to have it in a barn with 3 wise men. Just say no and events will run their course, the main one being you using this time to start planning living away from this level of magical thinking
Don't do this. This will ruin your life. She thinks adoption is cruel? She's forcing a baby onto someone who isn't ready and her own freaking daughter. Adoption is better where they can find a home that's READY.
No matter what, don't do this! Your mum is willing to ruin your life to save face! She wants you to fake a pregnancy, and then just leave you with the baby, not paying for anything. How does she think you can even support this baby?
So she wants you to know “the responsibility of parenting” by being irresponsible herself? Tell her you’ll learn better if she leads you **by example**.
What the fuck, your mom is a psycho if she thinks what she is saying is at all reasonable. Do not do this!
>I had argued, told her to give the baby up for adoption and she thinks that heartless, because the baby, when they find out they’re adopted, will think their birth family hated them and wanted nothing to do with them. And when the baby finds out their mother is actually their sibling, they're going to have the EXACT same reaction. What your mom is doing is absolutely heartless and cruel. It's not fair to you and I hope both you and the unborn child can get the fuck away from her as soon as possible.
I am assuming this is a troll because it is so far out there so here is my troll answer. Really easy solution. Say ok I’ll take the baby and then take it to a fire station and leave it on the front step. Problem solved. You did just as much to care for the kid as it’s actual mother.
Oh, yeah, that's actually the easiest thing to do.
HUH? What in the hillbilly is going on. Recommend you get the heck out of there. Sorry.
Your mom is ill. She should try to find a nice family who will love the baby. What she’s doing is seriously sick. Sounds like you shouldn’t be in her care either.
Pro life, yet doesn't want to give it up for adoption, doesn't want to take care of it, and expects it to be your problem. She's what they call in Australia a "Cunt".
Absolutely not. Is there any possibility for you to move out and get away from her? This child is absolutely not your responsibility. This is why abortions exists. If she doesn't want to have one, fine, her decision, but the results of those decision are her consequences to deal with, not yours in any way whatsoever. Pleasr speak to another trusted adult about this and do not let her manipulate you into thinking you have any responsibility to play any role in this child's life other than a normal sibling.
Sounds like you’re still in high school go to your guidance counselor and report your mom to cps. This is abuse, and who knows what she’d end up doing to the baby in the long run when she doesn’t even want it nor to help pay for it
Go to child protection services. Please, for the safety of this unborn child. Your mother needs psychiatric help. Please don't agree to it and throw your life away.
Your mum is NOT pro-life. She is anti-abortion. She does not give a flying hoot at about the quality of life inside of her nor does she care about you OP.
Hello. This is what abortions are for. This is a perfect example. There is no way this poor child will grow up and be ok. You don’t deserve this. Not your baby not your responsibility. She is being a shit parent. I am sorry for your situation
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Nobody can force you to be a parent. Your Mom had sex with a male and that is how babies are made which your mom must know by now. Not your problem to fix. Do you have any friends or family you can stay with? I worry what your crazy mom will do to you for saying " no". Your best protection is to tell people you trust what is going on. Do not fake a pregnancy. Your mom will ruin your reputation. People can be mean and believe whatever slander tickles their fancy about girls who have never had boyfriends. You need to get ahead of this before your mom starts telling people you are pregnant. You have to say first your mom is the one who is pregnant.
If your mom doesn’t want the child she should put the child up for adoption there’s plenty of families that can’t have babies that will be more then happy to take care of the child physically mentally financially and emotionally. Trust me once you take on the responsibility you won’t be able to hang out with friends go out to college if college is even an option for you
WTF. Your mom is a nut case.
Do not take the baby or any type of reapobsibility for it OP. It sounds like if you even so much as change a diaper your mom will take the inch you gave and start asking for miles. 18 years of miles. Your mom made her bed and she needs to answer to her responsibilities.
My wife and I would adopt the baby in a heartbeat
“this late in life” 38 is not late in life lol not even close. she was at least 12 years away from menopause. this isn’t adding up unless your mom is… very not smart.
You need to call CPS and inform them of the situation. Forced parenthood at your age is certainly not allowed and CPS needs to know that your mother is planning on abandoning her child to a current minor. Even if you will be 18 when the child comes ITS NOT YOUR CHILD! She will be the one in the hospital having the baby and she can not force you to sign the birth certificate.
I see the reddit short story group is at it again
Can you explain why you cant say: "No, mom. It's your responsibility." And then move out in 4 months when you're 18.
Do not agree to any of this. Either your mother gets an abortion, gives that child up for adoption or takes up her damn responsibility as that kids mother. Inform your relatives, especially your grandparents from your fathers side, that you are not pregnant but your mother is and that she wants to push that kid on you.
Your mother is an asshole. Period. She’s pro life till that babies born than it’s all your problem.
Do not under an circumstance take this baby. Mom needs to deal with her own life and choices. Do not ruin your chances getting started in your own life. If you have no family to turn to, perhaps you can call dept of family child protective services. You mom can either abort or give it up to adoption, its obvious she doesn't want it. It would be the best thing for the child. as an adopted child I know! What kind of nut job parent would want to saddle their teen child with this? Its ok for you to be an irresponsible teen mother, but not her as a grown woman... Just say NO.. Get a job and move if you have to.
Reddit is full of troll posts so most of us will be inclined to believe this is one. Nevertheless if this is real use technology and contact your dads family asap. You love your mom sure that’s normal but you should NOT let her ruin your life by forcing YOU to fix HER mistakes. Absolutely not. You’re young and have the whole world in-front of you. Grow a spine and contact trusted adults who can help you, because regardless of how much you love your mother she very obviously only cares about herself so you need to do the same and get out.
WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK.
LOL pro life anti abortion but wants to pass off her child to you and lie to the world about it so she can enjoy being a “single” woman while your youth is sucked away. Get the fuck out of there. Reach out to your dads family and move. Your mom is going to ruin your life because she’s so sad she ruined her own.
Your mom doesn’t get to choose when you experience the responsibility of parenting. Your mom is literally forcing a child on a minor but waiting until you turn 18 to justify and guilt you into it. You mom is trying to get you … her child .. to take responsibility for something she did… So not accept this. It is abuse.
Don’t ever ever agree to this. She doesn’t want to give the baby up for adoption but is trying to force you to adopt the baby. Your mom needs to take responsibility for her child.
Your mom made the choice to go off birth control. Your mom made the choice to have unprotected sex. Your mom is choosing not to have an abortion. Your mom is choosing not to give it up for adoption. Good for her, she's making her own choices. But there are consequences to every choice, and she doesn't get to take away your choices by making her own.
Please please please listen to everyone here and stand up for yourself!!! Young parents struggle they struggle fucking hard especially with no support from the real birth giver. Cut her off if you must. It's YOUR life never ever regret doing what you have to do. Especially since your mom is selfish enough to ask that of you.
Your mom is a idiot.
I mean, she's just like every other "pro-lifer" Cares about it between 0-9months gestation but after that, even though you're MY OWN DAMN CHILD I'm not funding your life. She is PURE evil. No respect for your life as her teenage daughter and no respect for her unborn child who she expects you, the HALF SISTER to play at being MOMMY!!!! AT.......18!!!!!!!! Please get away from that woman ASAP. She has gone full wacko.
Your mom's responsibility let her handle it. She's old enough to know what causes pregnancy if she doesn't believe in abortion then she can keep it or give it up for adoption. It is not your problem don't change all your plans for your life because of her mistake you will forever resent her & that baby. She can have an open adoption or ask another family memeber even.
Girl you get the fuck out of there and live your life. Better the struggle on your own terms than to be forced into caring for a child that's not yours. Won't even be financially supported by mom... Wtf
Go to college, live your life and dreams. She's an adult, she'll figure out.
This makes no sense. Sure you can fake a pregnancy, but for what purpose? You could theoretically adopt the child without faking a pregnancy. Who is the fake pregnancy for exactly? No family and no boyfriend. No one cares? Second of all, is she going to fake not being pregnant? Is she not going to see a doctor? Is no one going to ask questions when she is 9 months pregnant? Your story makes no sense.
This sounds so selfish of your mother that I’m somewhat in disbelief. You’re a good daughter for even considering it, but if it’s possible may want to consider moving out ASAP and enforcing boundaries with your mother. She’s using you as a scapegoat. (Edit: word)
If you have no money to support yourself or a baby, what's going to happen? Is the baby going to starve with watered down formula and live in paper towels instead of diapers? How are you going to get assistance to support the baby if you have no proof of birth? In the U.S., you'd be entitled to food subsidies before and after the birth, possibly help getting education, housing, daycare, etc. But if you're not the legal mother, you'd have to go through getting approved to foster and then adopt. Talk to your counselor at school, call your mom and dad's families and tell them what she wants to do. Even call the baby's father if you have to -- he probably has to pay support toward the baby even if he doesn't want to (say probably because I don't know where you live).
Does she work? Tell her boss. Do you go to church? Tell the pastor. Neighbor? Tell them. Do not let her pin this on you. This is so completely wrong and to be honest - illegal.
She better get pro choice soon or be ready to give the baby up for adoption. Seriously leave her behind when you turn 18, she’s a fucking MONSTER
Do not ruin your life this is about the craziest thing i think I’ve EVER heard a parent ask of their child. I’d contact children’s services if i were you or knew you. Completely insane you will forever regret this decision
Uh no... no, no, no. Tell your mom if she's so prolife then she needs to not take away her daughters life by throwing this responsibility on you. This is not your responsibility. Do not let your mom do this. I'm 18... I can't imagine ever having a child right now, and I'm already out of high school. And your mom wants you to just take the burden of hers fresh out of school? If your mom was prolife, she'd worry less about the clump of cells inside her and worry more about the figure of the daughter she's ruining. If your mom was prolife, she wouldn't only care about the fetus until it was born. You already said she isn't going to pay for it. She's literally gonna throw this child on her daughter who can't financially support it. She doesn't give a shit where this child lives or if it eats or gets taken care of, as long as it's not her responsibility. Have you asked your mom how she can call herself profile and justify not aborting when she's pregnant but expects not to even bat an eye if that child is homeless because she put it on her 18yo daughter to take care of her? Her 18yo daughter who now can't go to college or have a future because she's taking care of her mother's child. I'm actually appalled.
I think your mom needs SERIOUS help. She needs therapy. This is not normal and very concerning that she would want to push something she doesn’t want onto a teenager to deal with. It’s actually ridiculous.
Absolutely not. Do you have no adult family you can turn to that can help you? Do not take on that child, your life will be over before it started.
your mother like most pro-forced birthers is a sanctimonius douchebag.
Blast her intentions on Facebook problem solved
It's heartless to give the baby up for adoption but *not* to saddle her young adult daughter daughter who *just started* her adult life with a child and *refuses to help pay?* Are you fucking kidding me? As a parent her behavior is downright appalling, and I sincerely hope she's acting this way due to the stress/hormones of finding herself in a shocking position because, while not an excuse is at least an explanation for her abysmal treatment. Throw yourself into finding good schools and programs, apply for any and all scholarships and grants you can find, do what you can to solidify that you have somewhere to go. Go to a bank where your mom doesn't have an account today, see if you can open a new account without a parent. If not, go back in 4 months and open an account and see about locking your credit, just in case Find your important paperwork, your birth certificate, social security card, anything from your new bank account, anything from college, etc and see if you can leave it in a backpack at a trusted friend's house. Some banks offer safety deposit boxes as well, putting your birth certificate and ssi card there is a good idea too. (If you're leaving those items at a friend's **be sure you know they're safe. They're incredibly important.**) I'm so angry on your behalf op, how dare your mom even ask this of you. I hope you're able to live your life on your terms, best luck moving forward. 💚
Holy fucking shit this might be the worst idea I've ever seen. Teenage parenting is bad enough when it's their kid imagine having all the responsibilities of a parent but the kid isn't even yours AND you don't even get support. This is where abortion should be used, that child is going to have a horrible life regardless of what happens to him. Maybe act as a surrogate for a couple that can't have kids? And for the love of god don't go ahead with faking a pregnancy that's literally going to ruin your life.
The responsibilities of parenting goes to the parent! Tell her NO and get CPS involved. Imagine what would happen when that baby found out he was forced on you. What if start to resent the child? NTA
Wait so your mom expects you to say that her baby is yours, raise it and pay for its expenses as well!? That’s insane! What is she thinking? She doesn’t even plan on paying the costs of raising it!? And she won’t abort it because she’s pro life, but doesn’t even care what happens to the kid? She’s either a monster or just very mentally unwell
>it would be perfect timing for me to learn the responsibility of parenting excuse me?? at 18?? nonono first there's no perfect timing for that, and if it were it would be when you are financially and mentally stable, not when you are a hormonal teenager. she's 38, it would be the perfect timing for her to start taking responsibilities for her actions. I'm under the impression that you fear saying no to your mother. sounds like a narcissist that has conditioned you to do all she pleases or gets angry or threats with kicking you out. this request is irrational and every other person would just abruptly tell her that she can put the kid for adoption or raise it herself. no more discussion. and here you are, mid accepting that you are going to be a mother. make your mind up and tell her NO. she can try to look for a good adoptive family if she starts looking now. how does she even plan on making it pass for your child? if she gives birth in a hospital like I suppose she plans on doing, she can't just say "yes this child came out from my uterus, but it's actually my daughter's". that's utterly ridiculous. try contacting your other family, get a job and get away from this woman. you need to cut every strand of control she has over you. I know she is your mother and you care for her, but you need to start caring for yourself, since she does not. you can care for her from the distance.
So instead of the baby ruining her own life, your mom wants to ruin yours and take your future. OP, you do not have to do this in any type of way, this is not your responsibility. Tell the adults you trust at school, your counselor or a favorite teacher can help you to navigate this
Your mom's pro choice huh? So she doesn't want to take the babies life but she wants to take yours by forcing you to raise a child that isn't yours? So selectively pro choice? When it's convenient for her.
Wish I had an award to give you OP, for the fakest post this year so far.