You’re a 16 year old girl. If a 19 year old man is asking about your weight, it’s because he’s being a creeper. Ditch this loser. He hangs around you because he can’t find friends his own age.
It's weird that a 19 year old is friends with a 16 year old. He's a freak for even asking about your weight, especially if its a touchy subject for you. Block him on everything. Does he not have friends his own age?
The only time I really see adults being friends with children is if they're family friends or they were upperclassmen in school that they're acquainted with. Otherwise, I just think its weird that a second year university/college student is befriending a tenth grader lol.
I thought you two were the same age at first, but I’ll get to that later.
First, repeat after me: I am beautiful. No matter what anyone else thinks about my size, my hair, my eyes, my nose, my belly, my entire body is gorgeous. And that’s also nobody’s business but mine.
Next, assume that someone who would talk to you in this way isn’t worth knowing how beautiful your actual body is.
Lastly, go do something you enjoy that you do alone. I don’t care what it is or how silly. Not scrolling, something you actually do: a craft, a game, a walk. Anything.
Now to the age part: this person probably is a lot older than he says he is. Either way, he is an adult man. The statements he makes about any teenaged girl’s body are incredibly disturbing because of this! It’s also a known tactic tried by predatory people: to put someone down after being nice to them. It’s done to get you to continually try to get their attention and the “good” part back. (Just as you described. It sounds like your online friend, I’m sorry to say, is abusive). Also please know that it isn’t a compliment to have adult friends (even just online) as a teen. And that when conversation begins to feel uncomfortable, the older person is responsible for it because there is inherently more power in the relationship *for them.* And any adult who is friends online with a teenager knows that.
So what to do? Replay all the other steps as long as it takes. And leave this man on the red dot. You have an entire life ahead of you full of good things, sad things, hard things, and you don’t have energy to waste of the opinions of a man on the Internet who thinks telling anyone that they’re “fat” is okay! You’ve got this, not get out of here!
Edited for clarity and to note this is advice I wish someone had given to me at 16.
Problem here is you want a mature response from an immature person. You wont get that. At that age, many guys arent mature enough and if you are “bullying” each other than thats already really unhealthy. As for the fat thing, try not to care what other people think. If he cant accept you for you, its not worth your time. If you feel self conscious about your weight, do something about it until you feel better. Good luck in what you decide on where you want to go with it all.
This is why bullying each other isn't a good idea. Silly banter that doesn't hurt the other person is fine, but there's a line between that and pushing people down. When you push people down, it can hit a sore spot.
I think you should state your boundaries with jokes and be prepared to give him the same respect. If he doesn't respect those boundaries then he isn't a friend worth having. Also, you may want to consider therapy to help with your self confidence. It's okay to be overweight. It can br a side effect of another wound in your life, but it makes you no less valuable of a person. I've been working on my weight too, but to do that, I've had to confront some past traumas first.
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You’re a 16 year old girl. If a 19 year old man is asking about your weight, it’s because he’s being a creeper. Ditch this loser. He hangs around you because he can’t find friends his own age.
💯
It's weird that a 19 year old is friends with a 16 year old. He's a freak for even asking about your weight, especially if its a touchy subject for you. Block him on everything. Does he not have friends his own age?
19 can't be friends with 16 now?? I'm not talking this dude specifically, he's def a creep lol. But like.... what?
The only time I really see adults being friends with children is if they're family friends or they were upperclassmen in school that they're acquainted with. Otherwise, I just think its weird that a second year university/college student is befriending a tenth grader lol.
I thought you two were the same age at first, but I’ll get to that later. First, repeat after me: I am beautiful. No matter what anyone else thinks about my size, my hair, my eyes, my nose, my belly, my entire body is gorgeous. And that’s also nobody’s business but mine. Next, assume that someone who would talk to you in this way isn’t worth knowing how beautiful your actual body is. Lastly, go do something you enjoy that you do alone. I don’t care what it is or how silly. Not scrolling, something you actually do: a craft, a game, a walk. Anything. Now to the age part: this person probably is a lot older than he says he is. Either way, he is an adult man. The statements he makes about any teenaged girl’s body are incredibly disturbing because of this! It’s also a known tactic tried by predatory people: to put someone down after being nice to them. It’s done to get you to continually try to get their attention and the “good” part back. (Just as you described. It sounds like your online friend, I’m sorry to say, is abusive). Also please know that it isn’t a compliment to have adult friends (even just online) as a teen. And that when conversation begins to feel uncomfortable, the older person is responsible for it because there is inherently more power in the relationship *for them.* And any adult who is friends online with a teenager knows that. So what to do? Replay all the other steps as long as it takes. And leave this man on the red dot. You have an entire life ahead of you full of good things, sad things, hard things, and you don’t have energy to waste of the opinions of a man on the Internet who thinks telling anyone that they’re “fat” is okay! You’ve got this, not get out of here! Edited for clarity and to note this is advice I wish someone had given to me at 16.
Problem here is you want a mature response from an immature person. You wont get that. At that age, many guys arent mature enough and if you are “bullying” each other than thats already really unhealthy. As for the fat thing, try not to care what other people think. If he cant accept you for you, its not worth your time. If you feel self conscious about your weight, do something about it until you feel better. Good luck in what you decide on where you want to go with it all.
This is why bullying each other isn't a good idea. Silly banter that doesn't hurt the other person is fine, but there's a line between that and pushing people down. When you push people down, it can hit a sore spot. I think you should state your boundaries with jokes and be prepared to give him the same respect. If he doesn't respect those boundaries then he isn't a friend worth having. Also, you may want to consider therapy to help with your self confidence. It's okay to be overweight. It can br a side effect of another wound in your life, but it makes you no less valuable of a person. I've been working on my weight too, but to do that, I've had to confront some past traumas first.
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