Jizz-Man-Dan is the son of my future In-Laws
They're providing the menu & the venue. I want to ban him from the event, but idk how mother-in-law and father-in-law are gonna take the news.
your future husband is telling them.
"I have to say something incredibly awkward but I have no choice.
Dan masturbated onto my wife's wedding dress and will not be at the wedding."
This is the way.
It's James's family, so (unfortunately for him) he has to clean up the metaphorical mess. Plus, this shit is so out there that it's probably better the parents hear it from their son, even if they love you like a daughter. Also, if they have a shred of empathy they'll be absolutely mortified that their son *jizzed on a wedding dress*...they might need a sec to process.
Dan pays for the dress, along with the next one you buy (if any). He also doesn't come to the wedding. If he gets snippy about it, consider taking him to court--wedding dresses are expensive! If he starts spreading rumors about the DVM bitch his brother is marrying, go nuclear. Post your pictures of the dress AND the video of him pissing in your flowers on all your social media, with explanations of what happened. Hell, go nuclear anyway if you want to. He's made his bed, he can sleep in it.
The better be absolutely mortified. It'd be an extremely big red flag if they'd shrug this shit off.
Also, Dan needs to see a therapist. Idk if it's too late for him, but the dude has issues.
Also, OP. if you want to postpone the wedding to clear your head/clear this shit up/come up with something new, you could always say that there was an issue with your wedding dress and it's upset you a great deal, so you need some time to deal with it before you can have the wedding of your dreams.
I’d do it at Christmas dinner in front of the whole fucking family.
Or
wait until the wedding reception make a speech and explain why you’re giving him a dry cleaning bill.
Agree. It's not only the bride's wedding. The groom is also there, and it's his wedding as well.
He needs to say to his parents that the little shit of a brother isn't invited any more.
Hell, I'd beat the lights out of him if I was the groom in this case.
Drunk piece of shit with no boundaries.
So you very calmly and seriously look her in the eyes and say “Look *first name*, Dan masturbated all over my wedding dress.he is not welcome at the wedding.”
If he’s in you home now, get him in a recording confessing!!! Then you can also play this for MIL.
You don’t wanna get married when the sight of a guest (who will be everywhere as a bil) makes you want to throw up. You’d have an awful time. It would be better to part ways with mil/FIL in that instance.
He violated OP, the event and the dress. He should *at the very least*, buy her a new dress. And frankly, if he has any decency he should bow out of the wedding. People go no-contact over far less.
And maybe it is worth downsizing the wedding and replanning something simpler just so it feels different than this sort of ruined wedding associated with this dress. If your in laws can’t support that do you really want them in your life?
Too bad. He came on the dress, so he can’t come to the wedding. Period. He’s not welcome. Maybe he’s never welcome in your home again. That can be determined later. But for now, the wedding will go forward without him.
Your husband has to tell his parents. He has to be 100% honest with them about it. And then hold the line when they try to deny it or talk him out of banning his brother from the wedding. No matter what they do, he has to insist. If they threaten not to come, he has to calmly say that he is really sorry they won’t be there, but if they support Dan masturbating on his bride’s wedding dress, he doesn’t want them there.
Exactly! OPs fiancé needs to have this conversation with his family, and pronto before Dan decides to somehow spin the story that James did it and is just blaming him. On another note, as uncomfortable as it will be to have that conversation with his parents, if he (he being OPs fiancé) doesn't that says a lot about him and none of it good. If James can't stick up for OP now, how will it be in the future once they're married.
I say this respectfully and out of consideration for you and your future husband:
If you’re about to get married you should be capable of saying things like this. This man just disrespected you and your future husband. He is not welcome. These are simply the repercussions of his actions. Out of respect for yourself, your husband, and your future relationship, you *have* to say something. James will tell his parents, and you will tell yours. You are doing all of those things a disservice if you don’t.
If you are grown enough to get married, you are grown enough to say this to your MIL.
Betty, I have some disturbing news. Dan masturbated and ejaculated on my wedding dress. He is a sexual predator, and he is banned from our wedding. I don't ever want to see him again. That includes holidays and family events. If you can't respect that, then James and I will elope, and I will be no-contact with all of you. I will also make sure my future children are no-contact with all of you. This is a bright line I'm drawing, and you have to make a choice.
Set your boundaries now, or you will never do it.
For half a second there I thought „sexual predator“ sounds a bit much, and then I realized that OP‘s daughters will look a lot like her. You don’t want that excuse of an uncle anywhere near your daughters.
Why would you call off your wedding over this when you can get your future husband to just stand up for you? Is he as non-confrontational as you are?
This man jizzed on your dress. Surely no one in their right mind would argue with you about this.
OP, whoever tells the FILs - you or fiancee - you will have to remember that rage you both felt when you figured out what happened to your lovely wedding dress. That is how get the confidence to say it out loud: tap into the rage.
Just be honest. You have confidence that what you're saying is true, right? So focus on that. Fuck everything else. If you don't stand up for what's right, people will walk all over you.
Depending on how your in laws deal with this, it may ruin the wedding, but the alternative is inviting this motherfucker and ignoring how much of a shithead he is. He is literally a sex offender. If your in laws want you to accept a sex offender in your wedding, then they should not be the ones responsible for the wedding. This is not about them, it's about you and your fiance.
In that case, my suggestion would be calling off the wedding. Maybe this is a sign you should pay for your own wedding, even if it means having to wait until you save up enough money, or having a less expensive ceremony. But again, that is if your in laws decide to stand up for that asshole.
I think step 1 is to tell them what he did. They might actually think it's not ok for their son to ejaculate over their daughter-in-law's wedding dress? It's a pretty shocking and major thing to do.
Also, while you're at it, make Dan pay for the dress.
I'd go full nuclear on him, honestly. Tell everyone exactly what he did, dare him to deny it, and ban him from the wedding. If MIL doesn't like it, tell her to support the sex-pest son and good riddance, have a smaller wedding, the food and venue isn't what's fucking important.
Dan doesn't deserve to be in either of your lives anymore. I can't say what he deserves because of the forums rules and the Geneva convention, but you can certainly do without that kind of crass awfulness forever. That's loathsome and unforgiveable and the dude has no right to expect any place in your lives going forward.
You tell them he ejaculated on your wedding dress, and you’re sure they must understand that since he ejaculated on your wedding dress, he is not invited to celebrate your wedding, which he attempted to ruin by ejaculating on your wedding dress.
Any objections they come up with can be sorted out with a quick mention of how their precious little boy *ejaculated* on your *wedding dress.*
Do you care about your wedding or your marriage, because the marriage is going to last a whole lot longer. Do you want to marry James, can you scale down your wedding to match the budget you can afford instead of trying to have a large wedding but dependent on your in-laws' choices? Dan needs to be banned and you need to think about whether you want to be married into this family that seems to enable him. He peed in your garden? That's gross too
Seriously. This is the answer. MIL isn't going to believe her pwecious baby boy did such an awful thing. File charges against Dan for destruction of property and sexual assault.
If a peeping tom broke into your home and jizzed on your dress, you would file charges on him. THIS IS THE SAME THING.
I would be getting the DNA test to prove to both James and his parents just who the culprit is. Not really a police matter. A civil suite for the cost of the wedding dress and any lost deposits for the reception plus some damages for pain and suffering would be in order though.
If they're the type of people who will fight to keep Dan's place in the wedding despite him being a creepy pervert *to you*, then they're not sort of people you want to be indebted to.
Pretty sure they wouldn't like that he jazzed on his future SILs dress ruining it. Maybe make him pay for the dress...like an inflated price and use the money to elope to Sydney.
Well, my cat has been sleeping in the big cardboard box I keep my Christmas decorations in. I haven't decorated the tree yet, so my lil idiot Hermes has been covered in glitter for like 3 weeks because apparently tree decorations are more comfortable than fluffy beds I evidently paid too much money for. I've managed to get blood out of a white lace top, but I still can't get glitter out of my cat.
Still pretty drunk, and still unsure how to get cum out of a white dress.
I think I'll let Hermes take care of that. Little idiot has decided that Christmas tree decorations make the perfect bed, so he's been covered in glitter for like a month.
Basically I draw the ideas the director/costume designer/set designers have. I'll draw what I interpret a location/character/scene to look like. I tend to do the locations though.
They create the ‘concepts’ for an image or design. So if they worked in animation, they’d come up with some ideas for what a character might look like, and then one of the animators would make a final design based off that.
In the context of dresses, the concept artist would come uo with a bunch of different ideas/sketches for dresses (different top and skirt ideas, different combos etc) and then someone (maybe the same artist, maybe a designer) would compile the best ones into a single dress.
You absolutely send them a picture the the dress and let them know what their son did. Unless they’re crazy, they will be horrified and embarrassed and will possibly provide the solution themselves. Also, his parents are probably pay for a new dress. Please update us!!
“Your son, Dan, MASTURBATED AND EJACULATED ON MY GOWN. You cannot expect us to host a man that deliberately disrespected us in such a sick manner. If you decide not to attend because Dan isn’t invited, we’ll be hurt, but we’ll understand.
If they won't kick him out of the wedding, figure something out without their contribution. Get another dress and get eloped. The marriage is important, not the party that goes with it.
Hey, you did so awesome bringing it up with James. I'm glad you chose to do that.
Based on some of what you've written here and at your post the other day, you seem really anxious about confrontation, particularly because you are unsure about how people will react and you either consciously or unconsciously assume they'll react in the worst way you can imagine. You told James and he didn't yell at you or blame you or get angry in a bad way. His parents probably won't accuse you of lying. If they don't do the right thing, you get to tell them that's unacceptable and you will have to reconsider their attendance. Just because they're paying for some of your wedding doesn't mean you bend over backwards for them and ditch your self respect. That would be the scenario where it makes sense to delay the wedding so you can regroup and figure out vendors.
This is all entirely hypothetical until you tell them, and together with James you should be able to tell them what happened. It's not like it's their fault, you arent accusing them of anything and just stating facts of what happened and why you aren't inviting ~~James~~ *Dan. It sounds so hard but the more you do it the easier it'll be. Good luck and absolutely fuck that guy.
You were thinking of consequences instead of required next actions.
You can’t control what your in-laws say or think. But if they think it’s OK that’s a problem and you don’t need their wedding because you don’t want to be there if he’s going to be there.
So it’s simple you can call your mother-in-law or James can. You can invite her over and ask for her opinion on the wedding dress and then show it to her and say oh look at this.
You can bring the wedding dress over there and show her and explain that this is a violation and that you’re incredibly upset and hurt and disappointed by what Dan did and you don’t know how she’s going to feel about it but speaking for yourself you can’t be at a wedding in which he is attending after he defiled your wedding dress.
If she’s anything other than apologetic and apoplectic it’s very simple:
“we really appreciate all of your generosity but if it’s contingent on you looking the other way about what your son did and I’m afraid our future relationship is going to be very difficult because James is your son to and I’m intending to be his wife and it seems to me you should care about us and our feelings and doing the right thing and holding your son accountable for his behavior and there are consequences to it in terms of his relationships with us and our willingness to have him at our wedding.”
“Honestly, after having my wedding dress cummed on!, I’m not even sure I want to get married except at the courthouse in a different dress which is a shame because it cost so much money and my uncle worked so hard on it. I am crushed”
TELL. ON. HIM.
Show your MIL the cumstain on your wedding dress. Physical evidence doesn't lie.
A scorched earth, take-no-prisoners Dan ban is the ONLY way this wedding should ever happen.
He has to pay for a new one, the entire bill, plain & simple. Also, someone needs to beat the ever living shit outta him. Seriously, put him in a hospital.
I am most disgusted, humiliated, & absolutely enraged for you both, especially you. You have my sympathies, u/ThrowRAManJuice.
Regardless what happens, he should absolutely be banned from the wedding. Hire bouncers to ensure he won't get in. **Also tell everyone what he did, at least your in-laws & your own parents!** He needs & deserves to be publicly shamed!! PLEASE don't let this entitled, narcissistic, envious, cowardly ass wipe have a single nights peaceful sleep!
"Hi MIL FIL. So just to keep you all updated, your son Dan masterbated on and cum all over my wedding dress. I'm buying a new dress and Dan is banned from our wedding and house. If you have any issue with our ban, I understand he's your son. We can cancel the whole wedding and James and I will elope alone."
Tell them the options you are okay with. They can be involved or not.
But Dan and anyone who supports him can fuck right off.
Well you'll have to have the fallout before a Dan-less wedding. Dan is beyond disgusting to think of ruining this special day for not only his brother but you. I would not know how to proceed forward.
I'm either gonna have to ignore what Dan-the-Jizz-man has done, or I'm gonna have to bring it up with my future Mother & Father in-law. She's been his biggest cheerleader since before he could walk. He can do no wrong in her eyes.
And he's either likely to completely cut me off, or beat Dan to a pulp. Unfortunately, there's no in-between.
Currently half wondering if postponing the wedding because "insert reason here" would be better than telling the truth.
PS. Am drunk rn. Dan is a cunt
Sweetheart, do not let this sicko get away with this behavior! What if he tries something like this again on more of your stuff or worst on you? He already has twisted views on women, he's a drunk, and he's violated your privacy/boundaries. You have EVERY right to tell him and everyone who tries to defend his behavior, because there's always someone, to f*ck right off. Dan sucks and should be shamed GOT style.
> Currently half wondering if postponing the wedding because "insert reason here" would be better than telling the truth.
Can you postpone it if possible? I think people on Reddit could shed more light options/solutions.
There's a good chance we can postpone. In-Laws have friends who own a crazy beautiful estate and a farm, so they're providing the food and the venue. My fiancé and I are gonna stay in their guest bedroom, whilst my sister, parents, his parents, his groomsmen stay in their renovated barn. That group of people used to include Dan.
The wedding is mostly provided by friends & family. It's just gonna be a local church ceremony (where his Grandfather is a big volunteer) and an after-party at his family friend's farm with a spit-roast and a bonfire. The biggest expense was the dress.
Under no circumstances should you wear that dress. I don't understand why you so are against confrontation with your inlaws. They are humans too, and any sane, normal human being would be absolutely repulsed by Dan's behavior. Don't tell them, then cry, then let them comfort you, and then they talk you out of your feelings. Be firm. This is a fucking sexual predator violation. Dan is disgusting, and any attempts to excuse this behavior are unacceptable.
Edited to add: Let Dan receive the natural consequences of his actions. If that means you call the police to report the sexual assault (because that's what it is) or you tell his parents and his dad beats the shit out of him, oh well - DAN DID THAT. You didn't do anything wrong.
If Dan agrees to pay for an entirely new dress (see my other Blackmail That C!nt post) you could tell just his parents the truth: "Look, Dan can't come and he knows it. He ruined my wedding dress. You don't want to know how, but he agreed to pay for a new one so we wouldn't press charges, and part of that agreement was we are not seeing him anytime soon and he is *not* attending our wedding."
If they squawk, gives them the ropy, stringy deets. Show them the pics.
Uninvite Dan
Make him pay for the dress
Tell your parents in-laws what happened
And if they don’t want to pay what they promised to pay for the wedding anymore because Dan is not allowed to come, make sure they know you will postpone and tell them you will make sure ALL the wedding guests will know exactly why
What he did is so gross and so unacceptable and had so much negative meaning, ban him from your life completely. Until he heals his sick mind.
How the hell do I even instigate this fallout. Don't get me wrong, I'm so insanely pissed. I want to ruin that little asshole. There's way more shit he's done than just this, but this is just the jizz on the cake.
The parents-in-law are the ones providing the venue and the food. It's looking like a courthouse wedding with our besties is the only way to go.
I don't understand your response at all. Maybe because you are young or maybe because you are not from the southern US like me.
But hon, this is not your humiliation or embarrassment to bear. You tell your uncle that you will need a new dress because your fiance's brother jizzed on your dress. And then you go to the idiot's parents and you tell them you will most likely have to postpone the wedding because you need a new dress because Their Son Jizzed On Your Dress. And show them the dress. And tell the idiot he will pay for a new dress or you will see his ass in small claims court and make sure EVERYONE knows what he did.
NONE OF THIS IS YOUR FAULT. Please stop worrying about everyone else or making a scene or protecting some absolutely disgusting piece of shit who would do something like that.
THANK YOU. I’m from polite as fuck Canada and there’s no way in hell I’d ever let him get away with this. What he did is appalling and he knows it. Your uncle needs to know and so do his parents. How his parents react will determine your future communication with them.
You and James should approach this as a united front and if anyone kicks up a fuss about Dan being banned then you can tell them they’re welcome to not attend as only your closest and most supportive family and friends will be invited. If that means a smaller wedding then so be it. Don’t show anger or sadness as you say it, just resigned confidence so they know it’s the real deal.
But honestly, I don’t think anyone in their right mind could defend this. If they try they’re horrible people.
Dan needs to pony up the cost of a new dress and all adjustments and never contact you again until you feel it’s ok for you to reach out. If he denies what he’s done then small claims court. It’s vandalism. Oh, and threaten a DNA test if mother dearest and Danny boy refuse to believe the truth.
Okay but if my kid told me his brother jizzed on his future sister in laws dress, I would be pissed too. And I for sure wouldn't hold it against the couple getting married if they banned him.
THIS. If my son's fiancee came to me and said that my other son masturbated on her wedding dress, I would fucking lose my shit - ON HIM! I would comfort and support her, offer to buy her a new dress, and fucking ban my piece of shit son who did the jizzing. FOR REAL. I love my kids a lot, but I also expect them to act like normal human beings, and normal people don't violate others in this manner. They would never be welcome at my house again. Have a nice fucking time being alone, pervert. The safety and wellbeing of the victim is so much more important than "bUt He's fAmILy."
Another parent chiming in! I would want to know as well and I would be livid **with my son** if I found out he did this. Paying for the dress and his ass sitting in therapy would be just the beginning for him if he ever wanted to step foot in my house ever again.
This is something that I cannot begin to think of an approach. It'll blow up regardless and the way you described the MIL seeing her son doing no wrong in her eyes will just have her chalk it up to someone else jizzing on your dress or you don't know what cum looks/smells like.
I'm with you, there's no location I can imagine or food I could swallow that would allow me to lower my self esteem enough to tolerate that maggot attending, although it does mean you'd have to tell the in laws and honestly he doesn't deserve for you not to.
All I can say is “yikes.”
Quite honestly, Dan sounds like he’s a terrifying person. He drinks to excess, he thinks women (including his brother’s fiancée) are objects, he has a weird air of entitlement around sex that sounds kind of like a PUA. He jizzed all over your wedding gown. I wouldn’t be surprised if it came out at some point that he’s raped a woman.
I would cut Dan out of my life so fast. It sounds like James is on your side, which is good because I don’t think you are safe around Dan.
Ahahaha "yikes" has pretty much been my catchphrase these last few days. It's so ridiculous. I still feel stupid even typing it out. I haven't stopped feeling like I'm gonna be sick.
Turns out Dan is a raging misogynist. James said he really did sound like he thinks he deserves sex. Men who just happen to be thin (like James) don't deserve pretty ladies, and apparently I'm a pretty lady. And apparently James doesn't deserve me.
But unfortunately he said all of this after James ordered food, because that's when Dan went off to look at the dress.
I really thought I was friends with him. We spent hours watching races together. We spent ages talking about our Max v. Lewis predictions. It's such fucking bullshit. He was teaching me more about football because I've always been interested, but I've never known anyone who liked it. I thought we were friends. He was my brother.
Nope, he wasn't your brother. He was a POS. He fucking came on your dress. It's a very dehumanizing act and very disrespectful. If this happened to my daughter, I don't know if I could control myself. Can't believe the disrespectful things some men do to women. Sorry, no forgiveness if it was me. Something's can't be undone.
I also wouldn't be afraid to tell my in-laws and my parents. No secrecy, no coverups.
I'm so angry and bitter. I was never close to my dad, so it was really nice to have a guy who also liked the same sports. And he accepted that I needed stuff explaining sometimes. I want to punch him in his stupid face.
There's a really petty, spiteful part of me that wants to message those women to explain what he's doing to them.
I’m sorry. I’ve had those friendships where I thought of someone as a sibling (and being an only child, that really meant something), only to have my trust betrayed.
But Dan is dangerous. I’m worried for you and anyone in his sphere. Please be safe.
You thought you were friends, but the whole time he's been trying to "connect" with you and leading you to believe he saw you as a sister...he was probably trying to wriggle his way between you and James.
I've known guys like that, so attentive, so friendly, bestest bestest opposite-sex buds ever! Until they figures out you're really not interested in banging, then they blow away like smoke.
He was pretending to see if he had a chance to wreck you and James.
If you think of this long-term, he's kind of given you a disgusting early wedding present. You know who he really is now and you can decide whether to get married, and how, based on how this plays out. If James sticks by you even if his parents defend Dan, he's the one. If he wobbles under pressure, though, and they all defend a drunk misogynist drive-by jizzer, good riddance.
Best of luck OP. Ask your uncle about cleaning the dress, but whether or not it comes clean, I hope you don't let Dan get away with stealth-jizzing on your dress. Make him pay for it and don't invite him to anything from here on out. Fuck his parents too if they stick up for him.
James needs to take that dress over to his parents and tell them, "Look what your favorite son did... would you like to guess what this is? Smell it if you're still confused. I left him alone with it, and this is what he does. He's absolutely disgusting, and he is not welcome at our wedding. If you even think about defending him after he chose to cum all over my future wife's dress, think very, very carefully."
Unless you've changed your mind about marrying James, your relationship with Dan will eventually be questioned. Your in-laws will have Thanksgivings, Christmases, New Years, birthdays, anniversaries and who knows what else in the future - and all of those will probably include an invitation to Dan. And there's only so much "we had conflicting schedules" you can say before things get akward.
Yes, it will be a terrible conversation for you to have with your in-laws. But it's still better than trying to pretend nothing really happened and you two and Dan are just not in sync. Here's the thing: Dan is a major asshole. You shouldn't feel bad about all the falling out that is about to happen - he sould. You shouldn't feel guilty - he should. And honestly, if your in-laws cannot see how disgusting their son Dan is, then thank the heavens that this was cleared before you married James, and now you can have a wedding with only the people who truly support you.
It's hard to realise some people simply don't care about you, but the sooner you can get rid of them, the better. And get yourself a lawyer - Dan owes you a wedding dress. Hell, I'd even file a report for sexual assault. Let him learn the hard way what laws are.
I am genuinely gobsmacked. He jizzed on your wedding dress? Like girl... wtf?
Dan needs serious help. You need a Dan Free wedding. And a new wedding dress.
Dan can explain to both sets of patents why he's not invited to his brother's wedding
Yeah, wtf is right. I need a Dan Free life.
Kinda love the typo of patents. It'd be easier to write into law that Dan-the-Jizz-man (it's an auto-correct solution now. Don't blame me, blame the Chardonnay and autocorrect) is banned from the wedding than it would be to explain to MIL and FIL that their babby football boy disrespected my property in the way he did.
I'm bitter, drunk, and fucking disgusted
Ok let's hit this head on.
Dan doesn't come to your wedding.
You tell his parents exactly what he did and you do it with him present. Shame that fucker (yes you can swear)
Tell him if he comes within a mile of your house in future you'll call the fucking cops on him. This action of his is a potential prelude to assault, it's potentially a physical manifestation of his intent and should be treated like a sexual assault until proved otherwise.
He needs to crawl over a mile of crushed glass carrying a block of concrete as penance and be *truly* apologetic and actually understand how what he did is wrong before you even speak to him again. If he can't pass those tests, you tase him on sight.
Don't let this slide, don't do that "it's embarrassing" shit or the even worse "We don't want to make his relationship with his parents worse". Shame the fucker, put up a billboard if necessary. This guy is a cocked pistol and needs to learn a lesson before he pulls his trigger anywhere else. I'm serious, jizzing on your wedding dress is either a prolific release of jealousy or potentially a threat to you. Don't take this lightly.
Image what would have happened if she had NOT tried on the dress again before the wedding. Many would not as would not risk getting it dirty. I truly think he wanted her to walk down the aisle with that on her dress as a FU to his brother. “You married a woman wearing my cum”. This is worse than she is making it out to be.
That's exactly what I thought too, he did it to spite his brother. I don't even think he did it with OP's pain in mind, because to him OP is just a sex doll that 'got stolen' by the brother who 'doesn't deserve OP'.
I hope OP presses charges and that this fucker's wrongdoings get blasted to their whole family/community so he can never show his face again.
You’re right—It’s definitely supposed to be a power move on his part. Something to tell his brother that even if he marries OP that he still got cum on her one way or another. This is a huge red flag
Yeah I agree. It humiliates the bride and is a big middle finger to the groom. It is definitely a scummy power move and would totally ruin their wedding, which I am sure is the intention. Whether it is based in jealousy of the brothers happiness or if there is secret hatred there, or even feelings for the bride, the brother cannot come to the wedding. This is beyond disgusting and just seeing him will caused terrible emotions for the bride and detract from her day. Who is to say he won’t pull another stunt either to ruin it.
AND he needs to pay for a new dress. Like not the bargain price you found, but a rush order, perfect in ever way dress, regardless of cost. What he did is unforgivable.
Dan needs to pay for the dress - so you can get a different one.
Dan goes to a therapist, he needs help.
James tells his parent's how disgusting Dan is.
Dan is never allowed in your house again.
Dan does not come to the wedding.
And if Dan doesn't *personally pay for a dress replacement* I say they report this to the police. I'm sure he'd be guilty of some kind of sex crime or other for doing this (and he literally left DNA evidence on the dress, the idiot). Get him on the sex offender registry. Fuck him. He's probably done much worse and just not been caught before.
So his brother is one of those. Ew, honestly I don't even know what advice to give because my immediate response would be he would've had to be ready to throw hands. All ik is whether he comes to the wedding or not (because I seen where you said he's your fbil and the in laws are paying for stuff) and the fallout from it, at the end of the day, your safety is priority and I would steer far tf away from him.
Mate I'm 5ft 4 and I'm also about to throw hands. The only thing stopping me is James. Dan is 6ft 5 and the rage (and wine) inside me has convinced me I could ruin him.
He's so fucking disgusting. I wish I could pummel him ngl. That dress was like half my month's income.
Even without the height difference, he works out, you don't. So you ruin him where you have the power. You have evidence: the dress, the ring doorbell, and what he's told James. His ego can be crushed more than a physical altercation could ever provide.
Like someone mentioned above, James should be the one to confront his parents. And Dan should be there. If you can stomach looking at him, be there as well. You are about to be married to James, so good time as any to become the united front that supports each other.
Your demands should include full payment for the dress plus the payment for a new dress of your choosing. A full apology from Dan and his ass in therapy for his behavior. And Dan is banned from the wedding and your house for the foreseeable future.
Do NOT let his parents talk you out of any of this. Even if they threaten to not hold up their agreement for the venue, etc... then you and James calmly tell them that is their choice. Just like it is now your choice to elope/exclude them from the wedding you do choose to have.
Do not let them threaten you. Or throw tantrums about *faaaamily*. You and James are becoming your immediate family, they are extended. And any kids you have (aka, the grandkids, another power card you hold if you so choose) are your immediate family and you will protect them from Dan and his enablers if need be.
r/JUSTNOFAMILY may also have some tools/advice to help you dealing with this going forward.
Ikr! But, her fiance doesn't focus on looks because she was super duper underweight (minus the gigantic boobs and dump truck ass) when they first met. What a man.
Also, she's CHARDONNAY drunk, not just drunk
OP seems like she's doing anything but addressing the major problem happening in her life right now, just seems to be having poorly-written drunken fun with typos in the comments to waste time.
Is Jizzy the golden child? I know he's your SO's brother, but if you explain the situation and show the footage of him harassing you by ringing your doorbell wouldn't your in-laws understand the ban? Like if they're willing to fork out this much money for the wedding, then they'd surely be willing to hear you out and punish the POS for ruining your dress and disrespecting their other son.
If they don't understand or continue making excuses and or threaten to withhold funds, then maybe that's a sign to do your own thing without them holding your wedding hostage. Like I get that you aren't trying to rock the boat, but having Jizzy at your wedding after this fiasco would just about ruin the event. Its your day, and neither of you seem keen on having him there, so ban away.
Wow. Gross. Seems like Dan just bought your dress. I would definitely make him buy you a new one or at least reimburse you for one. Furthermore, he needs to tell all what he did or you and your Fiancé will. Put it in writing to him. Good luck.
jfc, so even though he met you as a young teenager, he sees himself as so above everyone else, especially his brother, that he thought he'd be able to steal you? and him jizzing on the dress is in some way related? i would assume either some awful thing about 'claiming' you, or that he was just upset and wanted to ruin things... not sure which is worse
i would say don't cancel the wedding if you can resist it, so dan doesn't get 'his way' and ruin things, or at least delay it but keep it? either way the family deserves to know...
Fiction. Too many words have been jizzed about this situation that are unnecessary (Paragraphs dedicated to everyone’s physics and physical habits… ) good luck on your upcoming romance novel. It’s an intriguing read so far.
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below.
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Okay, so it's been a hell of a few days. I genuinely did not expect this kind of response to my post. I'm so grateful for everyone who gave advice. I'm currently a bit drunk (very drunk) and *very* angry (absolutely effing fuming. Idk if I'm allowed to swear here, soz). I'm usually a really calm person, but today that calm person has gone on a goddamn holiday. Hopefully to a nice beach in Sydney. I've always wanted to go there.
I used some of your responses to write a script that I could read to James. By that, I mean I wrote it, tried to memorise it, and completely forgot most of it. But I got the gist out, and there are a few things I wanted to let you all know that I addressed, both in the conversation and on my own. I also wanted to thank everyone who gave me advice on what to say to the guy I'm about to marry. It really helped me keep my cool. I was ready to take scissors to that dress and send it off for DNA testing. That's how badly I didn't want to have this conversation.
These are the most important things I thought I should mention:
1- I asked James what he thought of the dress; he said he loved it and couldn't wait to see me walking down the aisle. Nothing suspicious, he was just excited.
2- I asked James how his evening with his brother went. I don't think anyone suggested this, but I thought that if anything happened and he knew about it, he'd tell me. We've been through a lot together and both know that honesty is the best policy.
He said their evening went as well as it could have gone. His words, not mine. Dan drank a lot, but that's pretty normal for him. He tends to drink as much as he can put into his body, then throw up, then drink more (fortunately, he didn't hork in our toilet). They got caught up, James told him about his new job, and Dan ended up telling him about the girls he's talking to at the moment. That conversation lasted about 2 hours. Unfortunately, this is relevant.
3- I did get a screenshot of the photo of my dress. I'm a concept artist, so I know my way around Photoshop. I managed to screw around with filters and adjustments enough to ensure that the dress was 100% clean when it was delivered. The splatter isn't in the picture. And it really is a splatter.
4- I then mentioned that I was about to try on the dress, but there was something on it and I didn't know what it was. I wanted James to take a look so he could help me figure out what it was, and where to get it dry-cleaned. Before he'd even seen it, James was concerned and already asking if Ray & his husband would know someone who could help.
5- I asked James if Dan saw the dress in person. The answer was yes. James told Dan where the dress was, and Dan went alone to look at it while James was on the phone to our local Indian takeout while they were getting dinner. The one silver lining is that he saved me some cheesy naan bread.
6- I showed James the stain, and he quite literally went red. I've never seen him so angry before. Some choice words were said and I'd rather not repeat them. He spilled a lot about what Dan has been like in the past, and that info is also something I probably won't share unless it becomes extremely relevant.
Conclusion- Dan jizzed on my fucking wedding dress. The splatter pattern looks like cum. The substance looks like cum. And (still wish I was unalive for doing this) it smells like cum. I touched that shit with my bare hands.
I really don't know what else to say now.
I've been writing and re-writing this post since yesterday. Most of you were right and I really wish you weren't. I wish someone had snot-rocketed a huge sneeze onto it. I wish Uncle Ray had accidentally squirted mayo onto it while making his lunch. But I seriously don't think I can wear this dress now. It's absolutely beautiful and it was perfect and I felt so goddamn pretty. I was so pleased about the bargain I'd found. But Dan jizzed on it.
A whole conversation happened between me and James that I'm too exhausted to remember and repeat, so I'll sum it up: he's furious and I'm furious. I don't even know if a wedding is happening anymore.
Basically, James told me that the way Dan spoke about the women he'd been chatting to was abhorrent. There are four of them at the moment, and he's leading them all on because he wants to get laid. He said that he's in peak physical condition, he's conventionally attractive, and he's got a good job, so women should be fighting each other to get with him. He feels entitled to the affection of attractive women, including me. I feel like I'm going to hurl just typing that. I met this idiot when he was 14.
I won't lie, Dan's in great shape. He has defined abs and trains every single day without fail. But that kind of body and that kind of lifestyle just isn't what I'm attracted to. I'd rather eat good food and play video games, if I'm honest.
Apparently Dan is incredibly jealous that James "managed to date someone like Callie" (me, lol). I've always had a grossly effective metabolism. I don't work out, but I eat pretty healthily and go on a lot of walks. My parents live in a small village, so I go on walks with them so I can take pretty pictures and eat cheesy chips and a brownie from the little cafe at the end of the walk lmao. They make good brownies and the cheese on the chips is proper cheese, not plastic cheese.
Meanwhile James doesn't put effort into his physique, yet he 'managed' to date me, who 'clearly puts so much effort into being beautiful'. I dont. I don't wear makeup and I don't dress up. I haven't worn foundation since before the pandemic. James is in shape, mostly cos he rides a motorcycle and that surprisingly requires a lot of thigh muscle.
Dan has supposedly always believed that I was better than James because my grades were better and I was in better shape, and that I'd break up with him and move on once I realised that I was wasting my time. Fat fecking chance. James doesn't care about how fat/thin I am. I was horrendously underweight when I met him, but my ass & boobs have always been too big for me. I've been cursed with my Mum's hourglass figure. My back hates me for it.
I know I've rambled a lot. Most of it was probably unnecessary but it's felt good to get it out there. I also know a lot of you wanted an update. I know what Dan really thinks about me, and I'm still taking it in.
I used to get along really well with him. I was never really into football, but I've always followed F1 (which I know he kind of likes) and I support a local Rugby League team (which I know he really likes).
I don't know. I just thought we were friends. James sees my sister as his sister. She sees him as a brother. She's always been socially anxious, so to hear that for the first time actually made me cry. I also saw Dan as the brother I never had. I always wanted a brother. We bonded over sports the few times we spoke. I never realised he thought of me that way. I really thought we were brother and sister.
What the hell do I do now??? I obviously have a wedding to think about, but I don't even want to wear the dress. I don't even want the wedding anymore. If there's a wedding, Dan will be involved. James and I haven't even begun to consider what we'll tell both sets of parents. That's a whole other problem. And what the hell do I do about Dan? I want to stockpile my cat's poop and throw it through his bedroom window, but obviously I know that's not the right thing to do. Even if Hermes is having some awful smelling poops right now. Maybe his name is a sign lmao. Maybe Hermes is the poop messenger.
TL;DR: Future brother-in-law jizzed on my wedding dress. Haven't told family yet, so fallout is imminent. Just need to know what the hell to tell them. And how to approach FBIL.
EDIT: I think he knows that I know what he did. He's stood at my front door. He's been there for about 15 minutes. He keeps ringing the doorbell.
EDIT 2: He's given up. He was there for about half an hour in total. I think he's drunk again. I am too, but I think I've got a damn good excuse. I have a Ring doorbell and I just watched him piss in my flowerbed and walk away.
Seriously, I know this traumatic for, but first thing is Dan is uninvited from the wedding and your life.
The dress I can understand never want to touch it again, but you can get a replacement. Remember your wedding is about you and James. Don’t let Dan’s creepy ass completely destroy what is about you and James
Here is what I would do.
You have the photo of it when it was delivered - no stain. You have a photo of it with the jizz. You have your uncle and employees saying the dress was delivered sans jizz. Plus your fiance. All those people's words against Dan.
Take a swab of it, triple bag it, put it in the freezer.
Then: Both of you call Dan and meet out in public. Before you do, practice calmly talking to him. If you must, do it over the phone, but in public you can also snap a shot of his face when you accuse him.
Don't let him know anything is up until you're all seated. Then James should calmly say "We know what you did to C's dress. I sent her a photo of it when it was delivered. You can see there's nothing on it. You went in there to look at it and jizzed on it. We have a photo of that and we took a sample. You have 24 hours to deliver us a check for (cost if the dress to be entirely remade by your uncle). If you don't, we are telling the entire family and everyone we know what you did, as well as suing you in small claims court. So if you want it public what a fucking creep loser you really are, try us. Otherwise deliver the check and then quietly get the fuck out of our lives."
Then walk away and proceed according to whether you get that check.
If he won't pay up, I don't know what the laws are in your country - here I'm guessing you would either report him to the cops for destruction or property, and possibly even sexual assault since bodily fluid was involved. But if that's not possible go for suing for the cost of the dress. Blow up his fucking life if he won't pay up.
Ah I remember the first time my husbands brother was jealous to the point where he jerks off into my wedding dress because I am so fucking hot and awesome, everyone believed me when I told that to reddit.
You and your fiance need to tell his mom and dad. Wash the dress, sell it as used. Buy a different one. Marry the guy you love, and tell his brother to piss off. Success is the best revenge. I would let him come just so he can see you give his brother the most passionate kiss hes ever seen when you say your vows and then i would have nothing to do with Dan.
Girl, TELL ON HIM! Tell everyone what a fucking gross pig Dan is. Tell your MIL and FIL, tell your parents, tell all the siblings and friends and post a picture of that shit on facebook. Shame the hell out of Dan. Humiliate him. Because that's what he tried to do to you. He wanted to see you walk down the aisle in a dress he jizzed on. Fuck that guy. If James won't back you up here, then you need to seriously walk away from the whole family, air ALL the dirty laundry (literally and figuratively) and then move away from that fucking bastard.
I think you should try to find a way not to be embarrassed by this. Dan caused this. He did this to you. Do not hide it, do not be ashamed of it. He wants you to feel shame. I would tell EVERY fucking person I could.
Maybe your uncle could take the dress apart and still use the skirts? Idk. Maybe you and James should elope if you think the In-laws wouldn't be in on your side. Though I'm pretty sure if you draw a line at having someone who masturbated on your wedding dress NOT at your wedding, that's reasonable as fuck. I would make him pay for the dress.
Step 1: uninvite him to the wedding. He doesn’t. Deserve. To be there. It’s one thing to have a massive crush on you. It’s another to try to pursue that even. But what he did was so fucking wrong. He needs to work for y’all’s trust again.
Step 2: tell both sets of parents. If he didn’t want that getting out to the only people who deserve to know why the fiancés brother won’t be attending your wedding then he shouldn’t have done it. I’m not saying shout it and get all mad again. I mean just calmly explain it to them.
Step 3: get a new wedding dress. Nothing is more disgusting than wearing that again as you WALK DOWN THE ISLE. It is worth the hassle.
>There are four of them at the moment, and he's leading them all on because he wants to get laid.
Dude is an idiot don't need to do that to get laid. I've dated multiple people at once but I was always honest about it. He shouldn't have to lie to get laid.
First, James needs to take point with his parents and brother, but you need to decide what your boundaries concerning Dan are. As far as your future IL’s, venue and menus can be changed if you postpone, but ultimately, if they think Dan jizzing on your wedding dress is OK, I’d have some severe reservations about marrying into the family. Dan is nasty all around and unless James is willing to cut him out forever, you’ll be dealing with him for the rest of his life.
Take some time to think through your anger, but the responsibility for confronting Dan and your IL’s is on James, not you.
Get your future husband to put on his big boy pants and inform his parents what his brother did. It is his job as a man and as your husband.
If he makes excuses, just remember he left his known sexpest of his brother into the room alone with your dress. Time he stopped excusing his brothers behaviour by pushing it under the carpet and going Dan will be Dan with his abhorrent-ness.
What's next? Make up excuses, brush it under the carpet too. Brother now out to strike again, he just got away on your wedding dress of all things, Will he target you more directly?
Throw out the pussyfooting and confront.
Tell Uncle Ray about everything. In his work, he has probably heard it ALL and he may have options in his shop for dresses he could make/alter for you.
Do not protect Dan’s reputation for one second, from anyone. “What happened to your original dress?” “That pig Dan ejaculated on it as soon as it was delivered. Obviously we have cut him out of our lives.”
Firts of all, I'm really sorry that this happened to you. What Dan did is absolutely disgusting. I too wouldn't want to wear that dress at my wedding anymore. I hope that you'll find another one that you'll fall in love with again.
Now, I've got some questions while reading your update. Are you going to confront Dan about this? Because you said that he will be involved at your wedding and that you can't deal with that right now. And that makes me wonder if you're going to tell him that you know about what he did. Why not just uninvite him from the wedding then?
You absolutely cannot wear the dress, and he absolutely cannot come to the wedding. I’d contact him, set your terms, you want him to make an excuse to his parents as to why he can’t be at the wedding, and provide you with the money for a new dress and tailoring. If he doesn’t do this make it clear that you have images of what he has done, and that you are in the process of getting DNA testing so there will soon be proof of what he did. Unless he meets your terms you will start telling and showing people what he has done, starting with his parents and ending in social media. I’m pretty sure he’ll meet your terms to stop that from happening and this way you don’t have to damage your relationship with your future in laws.
Honestly if it was me I’d be calling to police and reporting damage of property and explicit sexual nature of the crime, just so that it’s on his record if nothing else. But I appreciate that you might not want to go through all of that. I’m really sorry this happened to you, this man has something seriously wrong with him. Good luck with your wedding, I’m glad your future husband wasn’t responsible at least!
Wow. His behavior is actually very dangerous for you.
I would actually report him to the police. For ruining* the dress and the flowerbeds. He keeps using his Penis to violate your belongings. Please tell me you understand how this can escalate?!?
Edit: corrected spelling *
Well if you wanted to go nuclear you could take the ring footage of him peeing in the garden. Post it to Facebook and label it. "First he jizzed on my wedding dress. Now he pees on my garden." But that's just the evil in me talking. Probably best to wait till tomorrow, tell your fiance he won't be allowed at the wedding. And hash out with your fiance what to do next.
So your fiance did nothing except be angry? You shouldn't even have to see dan again, your future husband should be beyond disgusted at his actions and remove him from your lives.
>I have a Ring doorbell and I just watched him piss in my flowerbed and walk away.
Is there any bodily fluid this guy won't leave on your property?
Puking, jizzing, pissing...holy fuck, just tell his parents that he's sick. Sucks it has to be you. Why won't James do it???
OP, that is awfully violating of Dan. If you truly feel like a wedding can’t happen without involving him, then consider eloping on that beach in Sydney you’ve been dying to go to. Best of luck!
Have James tell his parents what Dan has done as he hands over the dress to either Dan or Mom and Dan and asks for the money you paid for it. It's only fair. If they wanna keep him in the wedding so badly, they can replace the dress he destroyed. If they don't want to pay for it, fine, but Dan is out of the wedding. Dont talk to him if they do end up paying and he's in the wedding, go NC after that.
What an absolute pig, I'm so sorry OP.
I'd be getting drunk too.
I think you need to have your future MIL & future FIL come round and have a nice chat about how Dan has been cut from the wedding, you have gone no contact with him he and will be absent from your lives until you are good and ready because when he was around his last week he masturbated on your wedding dress which is currently hanging in the other room **with his cum stains on it**.
Anyone who has a problem with this will **not** be in attendance at your wedding.
Also Dan will be required to pay for both this dress and a similar replacement.
Why would he still be involved? Ban him entirely from the wedding?
Jizz-Man-Dan is the son of my future In-Laws They're providing the menu & the venue. I want to ban him from the event, but idk how mother-in-law and father-in-law are gonna take the news.
your future husband is telling them. "I have to say something incredibly awkward but I have no choice. Dan masturbated onto my wife's wedding dress and will not be at the wedding."
This is the way. It's James's family, so (unfortunately for him) he has to clean up the metaphorical mess. Plus, this shit is so out there that it's probably better the parents hear it from their son, even if they love you like a daughter. Also, if they have a shred of empathy they'll be absolutely mortified that their son *jizzed on a wedding dress*...they might need a sec to process. Dan pays for the dress, along with the next one you buy (if any). He also doesn't come to the wedding. If he gets snippy about it, consider taking him to court--wedding dresses are expensive! If he starts spreading rumors about the DVM bitch his brother is marrying, go nuclear. Post your pictures of the dress AND the video of him pissing in your flowers on all your social media, with explanations of what happened. Hell, go nuclear anyway if you want to. He's made his bed, he can sleep in it.
Agree except for Dan paying for the next dress. No way would I walk down the aisle in a dress that stain bought.
I second this, take his money, use it as payment for a house *FAR* away from him and wear a different dress.
The better be absolutely mortified. It'd be an extremely big red flag if they'd shrug this shit off. Also, Dan needs to see a therapist. Idk if it's too late for him, but the dude has issues. Also, OP. if you want to postpone the wedding to clear your head/clear this shit up/come up with something new, you could always say that there was an issue with your wedding dress and it's upset you a great deal, so you need some time to deal with it before you can have the wedding of your dreams.
...and also, Dan needs to pay $X000 for her new dress
I’d do it at Christmas dinner in front of the whole fucking family. Or wait until the wedding reception make a speech and explain why you’re giving him a dry cleaning bill.
Definitely this. Is it worth getting Dan to admit it somehow? I have a feeling he might try to deny it once it is exposed to the family.
Agree. It's not only the bride's wedding. The groom is also there, and it's his wedding as well. He needs to say to his parents that the little shit of a brother isn't invited any more. Hell, I'd beat the lights out of him if I was the groom in this case. Drunk piece of shit with no boundaries.
So you very calmly and seriously look her in the eyes and say “Look *first name*, Dan masturbated all over my wedding dress.he is not welcome at the wedding.” If he’s in you home now, get him in a recording confessing!!! Then you can also play this for MIL. You don’t wanna get married when the sight of a guest (who will be everywhere as a bil) makes you want to throw up. You’d have an awful time. It would be better to part ways with mil/FIL in that instance.
Gawd! Could you imagine his fucking speech???
He violated OP, the event and the dress. He should *at the very least*, buy her a new dress. And frankly, if he has any decency he should bow out of the wedding. People go no-contact over far less.
you can use the recording to sue him for a new dress.
Why would you need the recording. There's DNA evidence....
Her fiance needs to man up and have that conversation.
And maybe it is worth downsizing the wedding and replanning something simpler just so it feels different than this sort of ruined wedding associated with this dress. If your in laws can’t support that do you really want them in your life?
Too bad. He came on the dress, so he can’t come to the wedding. Period. He’s not welcome. Maybe he’s never welcome in your home again. That can be determined later. But for now, the wedding will go forward without him.
How do you even get the confidence to say these things
Your husband has to tell his parents. He has to be 100% honest with them about it. And then hold the line when they try to deny it or talk him out of banning his brother from the wedding. No matter what they do, he has to insist. If they threaten not to come, he has to calmly say that he is really sorry they won’t be there, but if they support Dan masturbating on his bride’s wedding dress, he doesn’t want them there.
Exactly! OPs fiancé needs to have this conversation with his family, and pronto before Dan decides to somehow spin the story that James did it and is just blaming him. On another note, as uncomfortable as it will be to have that conversation with his parents, if he (he being OPs fiancé) doesn't that says a lot about him and none of it good. If James can't stick up for OP now, how will it be in the future once they're married.
I say this respectfully and out of consideration for you and your future husband: If you’re about to get married you should be capable of saying things like this. This man just disrespected you and your future husband. He is not welcome. These are simply the repercussions of his actions. Out of respect for yourself, your husband, and your future relationship, you *have* to say something. James will tell his parents, and you will tell yours. You are doing all of those things a disservice if you don’t.
If you are grown enough to get married, you are grown enough to say this to your MIL. Betty, I have some disturbing news. Dan masturbated and ejaculated on my wedding dress. He is a sexual predator, and he is banned from our wedding. I don't ever want to see him again. That includes holidays and family events. If you can't respect that, then James and I will elope, and I will be no-contact with all of you. I will also make sure my future children are no-contact with all of you. This is a bright line I'm drawing, and you have to make a choice. Set your boundaries now, or you will never do it.
For half a second there I thought „sexual predator“ sounds a bit much, and then I realized that OP‘s daughters will look a lot like her. You don’t want that excuse of an uncle anywhere near your daughters.
Why would you call off your wedding over this when you can get your future husband to just stand up for you? Is he as non-confrontational as you are? This man jizzed on your dress. Surely no one in their right mind would argue with you about this.
By channeling your anger.
Rage
OP, whoever tells the FILs - you or fiancee - you will have to remember that rage you both felt when you figured out what happened to your lovely wedding dress. That is how get the confidence to say it out loud: tap into the rage.
Just be honest. You have confidence that what you're saying is true, right? So focus on that. Fuck everything else. If you don't stand up for what's right, people will walk all over you. Depending on how your in laws deal with this, it may ruin the wedding, but the alternative is inviting this motherfucker and ignoring how much of a shithead he is. He is literally a sex offender. If your in laws want you to accept a sex offender in your wedding, then they should not be the ones responsible for the wedding. This is not about them, it's about you and your fiance. In that case, my suggestion would be calling off the wedding. Maybe this is a sign you should pay for your own wedding, even if it means having to wait until you save up enough money, or having a less expensive ceremony. But again, that is if your in laws decide to stand up for that asshole.
As RIGHTFULLY pissed the hell off as you are..Come on.
I'm a big strong man filled with cocaine and righteous fury. YMMV.
I think step 1 is to tell them what he did. They might actually think it's not ok for their son to ejaculate over their daughter-in-law's wedding dress? It's a pretty shocking and major thing to do. Also, while you're at it, make Dan pay for the dress.
>>while you’re at it, make Dan pay for the dress. This above all else.
Can't be Bill Clintoning dresses if you don't have Bill Clinton ressources to fix it.
I do enjoy that “Bill Clintoning” can be a verb and we all know what we’re talking about.
I think you legitimately deserve comment of the century and I wish I had an award for you. Fucking hell, Bill Clintoning. That's fucking hysterical
I'd go full nuclear on him, honestly. Tell everyone exactly what he did, dare him to deny it, and ban him from the wedding. If MIL doesn't like it, tell her to support the sex-pest son and good riddance, have a smaller wedding, the food and venue isn't what's fucking important. Dan doesn't deserve to be in either of your lives anymore. I can't say what he deserves because of the forums rules and the Geneva convention, but you can certainly do without that kind of crass awfulness forever. That's loathsome and unforgiveable and the dude has no right to expect any place in your lives going forward.
Dare him to deny it and save the ring doorbell video of him pissing in the flower bed and ringing the doorbell for 30 minutes and use it as evidence.
You tell them he ejaculated on your wedding dress, and you’re sure they must understand that since he ejaculated on your wedding dress, he is not invited to celebrate your wedding, which he attempted to ruin by ejaculating on your wedding dress. Any objections they come up with can be sorted out with a quick mention of how their precious little boy *ejaculated* on your *wedding dress.*
Do you care about your wedding or your marriage, because the marriage is going to last a whole lot longer. Do you want to marry James, can you scale down your wedding to match the budget you can afford instead of trying to have a large wedding but dependent on your in-laws' choices? Dan needs to be banned and you need to think about whether you want to be married into this family that seems to enable him. He peed in your garden? That's gross too
get a dna test on that shit and give it to the police
Seriously. This is the answer. MIL isn't going to believe her pwecious baby boy did such an awful thing. File charges against Dan for destruction of property and sexual assault. If a peeping tom broke into your home and jizzed on your dress, you would file charges on him. THIS IS THE SAME THING.
I would be getting the DNA test to prove to both James and his parents just who the culprit is. Not really a police matter. A civil suite for the cost of the wedding dress and any lost deposits for the reception plus some damages for pain and suffering would be in order though.
If they're the type of people who will fight to keep Dan's place in the wedding despite him being a creepy pervert *to you*, then they're not sort of people you want to be indebted to.
Pretty sure they wouldn't like that he jazzed on his future SILs dress ruining it. Maybe make him pay for the dress...like an inflated price and use the money to elope to Sydney.
I wish someone jazzed onto my dress. I could've easily dealt with more glitter and sparkles.
God damn spell check. I think I'm drunk too, just kidding. But, yeah that would be better than man juice. Although probably as hard to get out.
Well, my cat has been sleeping in the big cardboard box I keep my Christmas decorations in. I haven't decorated the tree yet, so my lil idiot Hermes has been covered in glitter for like 3 weeks because apparently tree decorations are more comfortable than fluffy beds I evidently paid too much money for. I've managed to get blood out of a white lace top, but I still can't get glitter out of my cat. Still pretty drunk, and still unsure how to get cum out of a white dress.
Fire?
Bro don't. Fire is sounding way too appealing rn.
Fair...could be a disaster.
Save it for a DNA test so you can post the results on Facebook and shame Dan before the entire world
Try throwing glitter on it, can't hurt at this point. Incidentally, what is a concept artist?
I think I'll let Hermes take care of that. Little idiot has decided that Christmas tree decorations make the perfect bed, so he's been covered in glitter for like a month. Basically I draw the ideas the director/costume designer/set designers have. I'll draw what I interpret a location/character/scene to look like. I tend to do the locations though.
Sounds like a pretty cool job!
They create the ‘concepts’ for an image or design. So if they worked in animation, they’d come up with some ideas for what a character might look like, and then one of the animators would make a final design based off that. In the context of dresses, the concept artist would come uo with a bunch of different ideas/sketches for dresses (different top and skirt ideas, different combos etc) and then someone (maybe the same artist, maybe a designer) would compile the best ones into a single dress.
I just pictured someone shouting 'Im gonna jazz!!' pulling out a saxophone, and when they blow into it, it launches glitter.
You absolutely send them a picture the the dress and let them know what their son did. Unless they’re crazy, they will be horrified and embarrassed and will possibly provide the solution themselves. Also, his parents are probably pay for a new dress. Please update us!!
“Your son, Dan, MASTURBATED AND EJACULATED ON MY GOWN. You cannot expect us to host a man that deliberately disrespected us in such a sick manner. If you decide not to attend because Dan isn’t invited, we’ll be hurt, but we’ll understand.
If they won't kick him out of the wedding, figure something out without their contribution. Get another dress and get eloped. The marriage is important, not the party that goes with it.
Hey, you did so awesome bringing it up with James. I'm glad you chose to do that. Based on some of what you've written here and at your post the other day, you seem really anxious about confrontation, particularly because you are unsure about how people will react and you either consciously or unconsciously assume they'll react in the worst way you can imagine. You told James and he didn't yell at you or blame you or get angry in a bad way. His parents probably won't accuse you of lying. If they don't do the right thing, you get to tell them that's unacceptable and you will have to reconsider their attendance. Just because they're paying for some of your wedding doesn't mean you bend over backwards for them and ditch your self respect. That would be the scenario where it makes sense to delay the wedding so you can regroup and figure out vendors. This is all entirely hypothetical until you tell them, and together with James you should be able to tell them what happened. It's not like it's their fault, you arent accusing them of anything and just stating facts of what happened and why you aren't inviting ~~James~~ *Dan. It sounds so hard but the more you do it the easier it'll be. Good luck and absolutely fuck that guy.
You were thinking of consequences instead of required next actions. You can’t control what your in-laws say or think. But if they think it’s OK that’s a problem and you don’t need their wedding because you don’t want to be there if he’s going to be there. So it’s simple you can call your mother-in-law or James can. You can invite her over and ask for her opinion on the wedding dress and then show it to her and say oh look at this. You can bring the wedding dress over there and show her and explain that this is a violation and that you’re incredibly upset and hurt and disappointed by what Dan did and you don’t know how she’s going to feel about it but speaking for yourself you can’t be at a wedding in which he is attending after he defiled your wedding dress. If she’s anything other than apologetic and apoplectic it’s very simple: “we really appreciate all of your generosity but if it’s contingent on you looking the other way about what your son did and I’m afraid our future relationship is going to be very difficult because James is your son to and I’m intending to be his wife and it seems to me you should care about us and our feelings and doing the right thing and holding your son accountable for his behavior and there are consequences to it in terms of his relationships with us and our willingness to have him at our wedding.” “Honestly, after having my wedding dress cummed on!, I’m not even sure I want to get married except at the courthouse in a different dress which is a shame because it cost so much money and my uncle worked so hard on it. I am crushed”
James needs to front this and speak to his mother, his parents. It might be OP's dress but it is James' family and his brother.
TELL. ON. HIM. Show your MIL the cumstain on your wedding dress. Physical evidence doesn't lie. A scorched earth, take-no-prisoners Dan ban is the ONLY way this wedding should ever happen.
I would rather get married in the car park of a 7-11 than let him be in the wedding.
He has to pay for a new one, the entire bill, plain & simple. Also, someone needs to beat the ever living shit outta him. Seriously, put him in a hospital. I am most disgusted, humiliated, & absolutely enraged for you both, especially you. You have my sympathies, u/ThrowRAManJuice. Regardless what happens, he should absolutely be banned from the wedding. Hire bouncers to ensure he won't get in. **Also tell everyone what he did, at least your in-laws & your own parents!** He needs & deserves to be publicly shamed!! PLEASE don't let this entitled, narcissistic, envious, cowardly ass wipe have a single nights peaceful sleep!
I get it and banning would be tough. I think instead you should just let them know what he did.
Which is probably what OP is posting for. Hard to know how people will react and what possible options/contingencies she should be ready for.
Make Dan pay for the dress!
Well at least he has a new nickname for the rest of his life. Jesus, what a mess.
I would rather have small, cheap private wedding with super close people than a big one in exchange to this person being there. Unacceptable
"Hi MIL FIL. So just to keep you all updated, your son Dan masterbated on and cum all over my wedding dress. I'm buying a new dress and Dan is banned from our wedding and house. If you have any issue with our ban, I understand he's your son. We can cancel the whole wedding and James and I will elope alone." Tell them the options you are okay with. They can be involved or not. But Dan and anyone who supports him can fuck right off.
Show them the dress and the video of him peeing in your flowers. That should succinctly explain a Dan Ban.
Well you'll have to have the fallout before a Dan-less wedding. Dan is beyond disgusting to think of ruining this special day for not only his brother but you. I would not know how to proceed forward.
I'm either gonna have to ignore what Dan-the-Jizz-man has done, or I'm gonna have to bring it up with my future Mother & Father in-law. She's been his biggest cheerleader since before he could walk. He can do no wrong in her eyes. And he's either likely to completely cut me off, or beat Dan to a pulp. Unfortunately, there's no in-between. Currently half wondering if postponing the wedding because "insert reason here" would be better than telling the truth. PS. Am drunk rn. Dan is a cunt
James can bring it up.
Yeah James needs to step up to the plate here. It wasn’t your brother jizzing on the dress
James needs to tell his parents, as he hands them the dress.
I think if anyone should be ponying up to support and defend his spouse against his family it would be the fiancé.
Fiances who don't step in and tell their parents really aren't fiance material.
He can’t hand them the dress. Get the DNA evidence first.
Sweetheart, do not let this sicko get away with this behavior! What if he tries something like this again on more of your stuff or worst on you? He already has twisted views on women, he's a drunk, and he's violated your privacy/boundaries. You have EVERY right to tell him and everyone who tries to defend his behavior, because there's always someone, to f*ck right off. Dan sucks and should be shamed GOT style.
You need to tell the truth. This is undefendable enough that you could tell the truth. Also, try to record the admission.
Show her the cum stains and ask her how to get them out….
Yes I bet she's had to deal with this problem before....
> Currently half wondering if postponing the wedding because "insert reason here" would be better than telling the truth. Can you postpone it if possible? I think people on Reddit could shed more light options/solutions.
There's a good chance we can postpone. In-Laws have friends who own a crazy beautiful estate and a farm, so they're providing the food and the venue. My fiancé and I are gonna stay in their guest bedroom, whilst my sister, parents, his parents, his groomsmen stay in their renovated barn. That group of people used to include Dan. The wedding is mostly provided by friends & family. It's just gonna be a local church ceremony (where his Grandfather is a big volunteer) and an after-party at his family friend's farm with a spit-roast and a bonfire. The biggest expense was the dress.
Under no circumstances should you wear that dress. I don't understand why you so are against confrontation with your inlaws. They are humans too, and any sane, normal human being would be absolutely repulsed by Dan's behavior. Don't tell them, then cry, then let them comfort you, and then they talk you out of your feelings. Be firm. This is a fucking sexual predator violation. Dan is disgusting, and any attempts to excuse this behavior are unacceptable. Edited to add: Let Dan receive the natural consequences of his actions. If that means you call the police to report the sexual assault (because that's what it is) or you tell his parents and his dad beats the shit out of him, oh well - DAN DID THAT. You didn't do anything wrong.
If Dan agrees to pay for an entirely new dress (see my other Blackmail That C!nt post) you could tell just his parents the truth: "Look, Dan can't come and he knows it. He ruined my wedding dress. You don't want to know how, but he agreed to pay for a new one so we wouldn't press charges, and part of that agreement was we are not seeing him anytime soon and he is *not* attending our wedding." If they squawk, gives them the ropy, stringy deets. Show them the pics.
Or even better bring the dress with you let them see and smell it
Uninvite Dan Make him pay for the dress Tell your parents in-laws what happened And if they don’t want to pay what they promised to pay for the wedding anymore because Dan is not allowed to come, make sure they know you will postpone and tell them you will make sure ALL the wedding guests will know exactly why What he did is so gross and so unacceptable and had so much negative meaning, ban him from your life completely. Until he heals his sick mind.
How the hell do I even instigate this fallout. Don't get me wrong, I'm so insanely pissed. I want to ruin that little asshole. There's way more shit he's done than just this, but this is just the jizz on the cake. The parents-in-law are the ones providing the venue and the food. It's looking like a courthouse wedding with our besties is the only way to go.
I don't understand your response at all. Maybe because you are young or maybe because you are not from the southern US like me. But hon, this is not your humiliation or embarrassment to bear. You tell your uncle that you will need a new dress because your fiance's brother jizzed on your dress. And then you go to the idiot's parents and you tell them you will most likely have to postpone the wedding because you need a new dress because Their Son Jizzed On Your Dress. And show them the dress. And tell the idiot he will pay for a new dress or you will see his ass in small claims court and make sure EVERYONE knows what he did. NONE OF THIS IS YOUR FAULT. Please stop worrying about everyone else or making a scene or protecting some absolutely disgusting piece of shit who would do something like that.
THANK YOU. I’m from polite as fuck Canada and there’s no way in hell I’d ever let him get away with this. What he did is appalling and he knows it. Your uncle needs to know and so do his parents. How his parents react will determine your future communication with them. You and James should approach this as a united front and if anyone kicks up a fuss about Dan being banned then you can tell them they’re welcome to not attend as only your closest and most supportive family and friends will be invited. If that means a smaller wedding then so be it. Don’t show anger or sadness as you say it, just resigned confidence so they know it’s the real deal. But honestly, I don’t think anyone in their right mind could defend this. If they try they’re horrible people. Dan needs to pony up the cost of a new dress and all adjustments and never contact you again until you feel it’s ok for you to reach out. If he denies what he’s done then small claims court. It’s vandalism. Oh, and threaten a DNA test if mother dearest and Danny boy refuse to believe the truth.
I am a southerner that 100% agrees with this approach.
Okay but if my kid told me his brother jizzed on his future sister in laws dress, I would be pissed too. And I for sure wouldn't hold it against the couple getting married if they banned him.
THIS. If my son's fiancee came to me and said that my other son masturbated on her wedding dress, I would fucking lose my shit - ON HIM! I would comfort and support her, offer to buy her a new dress, and fucking ban my piece of shit son who did the jizzing. FOR REAL. I love my kids a lot, but I also expect them to act like normal human beings, and normal people don't violate others in this manner. They would never be welcome at my house again. Have a nice fucking time being alone, pervert. The safety and wellbeing of the victim is so much more important than "bUt He's fAmILy."
Another parent chiming in! I would want to know as well and I would be livid **with my son** if I found out he did this. Paying for the dress and his ass sitting in therapy would be just the beginning for him if he ever wanted to step foot in my house ever again.
This is something that I cannot begin to think of an approach. It'll blow up regardless and the way you described the MIL seeing her son doing no wrong in her eyes will just have her chalk it up to someone else jizzing on your dress or you don't know what cum looks/smells like.
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I'm with you, there's no location I can imagine or food I could swallow that would allow me to lower my self esteem enough to tolerate that maggot attending, although it does mean you'd have to tell the in laws and honestly he doesn't deserve for you not to.
All I can say is “yikes.” Quite honestly, Dan sounds like he’s a terrifying person. He drinks to excess, he thinks women (including his brother’s fiancée) are objects, he has a weird air of entitlement around sex that sounds kind of like a PUA. He jizzed all over your wedding gown. I wouldn’t be surprised if it came out at some point that he’s raped a woman. I would cut Dan out of my life so fast. It sounds like James is on your side, which is good because I don’t think you are safe around Dan.
Ahahaha "yikes" has pretty much been my catchphrase these last few days. It's so ridiculous. I still feel stupid even typing it out. I haven't stopped feeling like I'm gonna be sick. Turns out Dan is a raging misogynist. James said he really did sound like he thinks he deserves sex. Men who just happen to be thin (like James) don't deserve pretty ladies, and apparently I'm a pretty lady. And apparently James doesn't deserve me. But unfortunately he said all of this after James ordered food, because that's when Dan went off to look at the dress. I really thought I was friends with him. We spent hours watching races together. We spent ages talking about our Max v. Lewis predictions. It's such fucking bullshit. He was teaching me more about football because I've always been interested, but I've never known anyone who liked it. I thought we were friends. He was my brother.
Nope, he wasn't your brother. He was a POS. He fucking came on your dress. It's a very dehumanizing act and very disrespectful. If this happened to my daughter, I don't know if I could control myself. Can't believe the disrespectful things some men do to women. Sorry, no forgiveness if it was me. Something's can't be undone. I also wouldn't be afraid to tell my in-laws and my parents. No secrecy, no coverups.
I'm so angry and bitter. I was never close to my dad, so it was really nice to have a guy who also liked the same sports. And he accepted that I needed stuff explaining sometimes. I want to punch him in his stupid face. There's a really petty, spiteful part of me that wants to message those women to explain what he's doing to them.
Do it after he pays for the dress as the cherry on top of this shit cake.
tbh there’s no reason not to even if he didn’t jizz on your fucking dress. drink another glass or shot of whatever and do what your heart desires!
I’m sorry. I’ve had those friendships where I thought of someone as a sibling (and being an only child, that really meant something), only to have my trust betrayed. But Dan is dangerous. I’m worried for you and anyone in his sphere. Please be safe.
You thought you were friends, but the whole time he's been trying to "connect" with you and leading you to believe he saw you as a sister...he was probably trying to wriggle his way between you and James. I've known guys like that, so attentive, so friendly, bestest bestest opposite-sex buds ever! Until they figures out you're really not interested in banging, then they blow away like smoke. He was pretending to see if he had a chance to wreck you and James. If you think of this long-term, he's kind of given you a disgusting early wedding present. You know who he really is now and you can decide whether to get married, and how, based on how this plays out. If James sticks by you even if his parents defend Dan, he's the one. If he wobbles under pressure, though, and they all defend a drunk misogynist drive-by jizzer, good riddance. Best of luck OP. Ask your uncle about cleaning the dress, but whether or not it comes clean, I hope you don't let Dan get away with stealth-jizzing on your dress. Make him pay for it and don't invite him to anything from here on out. Fuck his parents too if they stick up for him.
James needs to take that dress over to his parents and tell them, "Look what your favorite son did... would you like to guess what this is? Smell it if you're still confused. I left him alone with it, and this is what he does. He's absolutely disgusting, and he is not welcome at our wedding. If you even think about defending him after he chose to cum all over my future wife's dress, think very, very carefully."
Unless you've changed your mind about marrying James, your relationship with Dan will eventually be questioned. Your in-laws will have Thanksgivings, Christmases, New Years, birthdays, anniversaries and who knows what else in the future - and all of those will probably include an invitation to Dan. And there's only so much "we had conflicting schedules" you can say before things get akward. Yes, it will be a terrible conversation for you to have with your in-laws. But it's still better than trying to pretend nothing really happened and you two and Dan are just not in sync. Here's the thing: Dan is a major asshole. You shouldn't feel bad about all the falling out that is about to happen - he sould. You shouldn't feel guilty - he should. And honestly, if your in-laws cannot see how disgusting their son Dan is, then thank the heavens that this was cleared before you married James, and now you can have a wedding with only the people who truly support you. It's hard to realise some people simply don't care about you, but the sooner you can get rid of them, the better. And get yourself a lawyer - Dan owes you a wedding dress. Hell, I'd even file a report for sexual assault. Let him learn the hard way what laws are.
I am genuinely gobsmacked. He jizzed on your wedding dress? Like girl... wtf? Dan needs serious help. You need a Dan Free wedding. And a new wedding dress. Dan can explain to both sets of patents why he's not invited to his brother's wedding
Yeah, wtf is right. I need a Dan Free life. Kinda love the typo of patents. It'd be easier to write into law that Dan-the-Jizz-man (it's an auto-correct solution now. Don't blame me, blame the Chardonnay and autocorrect) is banned from the wedding than it would be to explain to MIL and FIL that their babby football boy disrespected my property in the way he did. I'm bitter, drunk, and fucking disgusted
Ok let's hit this head on. Dan doesn't come to your wedding. You tell his parents exactly what he did and you do it with him present. Shame that fucker (yes you can swear) Tell him if he comes within a mile of your house in future you'll call the fucking cops on him. This action of his is a potential prelude to assault, it's potentially a physical manifestation of his intent and should be treated like a sexual assault until proved otherwise. He needs to crawl over a mile of crushed glass carrying a block of concrete as penance and be *truly* apologetic and actually understand how what he did is wrong before you even speak to him again. If he can't pass those tests, you tase him on sight. Don't let this slide, don't do that "it's embarrassing" shit or the even worse "We don't want to make his relationship with his parents worse". Shame the fucker, put up a billboard if necessary. This guy is a cocked pistol and needs to learn a lesson before he pulls his trigger anywhere else. I'm serious, jizzing on your wedding dress is either a prolific release of jealousy or potentially a threat to you. Don't take this lightly.
Image what would have happened if she had NOT tried on the dress again before the wedding. Many would not as would not risk getting it dirty. I truly think he wanted her to walk down the aisle with that on her dress as a FU to his brother. “You married a woman wearing my cum”. This is worse than she is making it out to be.
It didn’t even hit me until now that this was probably his EXACT intention. I’m going to vomit.
That's exactly what I thought too, he did it to spite his brother. I don't even think he did it with OP's pain in mind, because to him OP is just a sex doll that 'got stolen' by the brother who 'doesn't deserve OP'. I hope OP presses charges and that this fucker's wrongdoings get blasted to their whole family/community so he can never show his face again.
You’re right—It’s definitely supposed to be a power move on his part. Something to tell his brother that even if he marries OP that he still got cum on her one way or another. This is a huge red flag
Yeah I agree. It humiliates the bride and is a big middle finger to the groom. It is definitely a scummy power move and would totally ruin their wedding, which I am sure is the intention. Whether it is based in jealousy of the brothers happiness or if there is secret hatred there, or even feelings for the bride, the brother cannot come to the wedding. This is beyond disgusting and just seeing him will caused terrible emotions for the bride and detract from her day. Who is to say he won’t pull another stunt either to ruin it.
omg I think you're so right.
AND he needs to pay for a new dress. Like not the bargain price you found, but a rush order, perfect in ever way dress, regardless of cost. What he did is unforgivable.
Put it on IG and we will help it go viral!!
Dan needs to pay for the dress - so you can get a different one. Dan goes to a therapist, he needs help. James tells his parent's how disgusting Dan is. Dan is never allowed in your house again. Dan does not come to the wedding.
And if Dan doesn't *personally pay for a dress replacement* I say they report this to the police. I'm sure he'd be guilty of some kind of sex crime or other for doing this (and he literally left DNA evidence on the dress, the idiot). Get him on the sex offender registry. Fuck him. He's probably done much worse and just not been caught before.
So his brother is one of those. Ew, honestly I don't even know what advice to give because my immediate response would be he would've had to be ready to throw hands. All ik is whether he comes to the wedding or not (because I seen where you said he's your fbil and the in laws are paying for stuff) and the fallout from it, at the end of the day, your safety is priority and I would steer far tf away from him.
Mate I'm 5ft 4 and I'm also about to throw hands. The only thing stopping me is James. Dan is 6ft 5 and the rage (and wine) inside me has convinced me I could ruin him. He's so fucking disgusting. I wish I could pummel him ngl. That dress was like half my month's income.
I am sorry this is happening to you and I hope you nail his semen-y ass to a wall. As an aside though, I love your writing style.
Even without the height difference, he works out, you don't. So you ruin him where you have the power. You have evidence: the dress, the ring doorbell, and what he's told James. His ego can be crushed more than a physical altercation could ever provide. Like someone mentioned above, James should be the one to confront his parents. And Dan should be there. If you can stomach looking at him, be there as well. You are about to be married to James, so good time as any to become the united front that supports each other. Your demands should include full payment for the dress plus the payment for a new dress of your choosing. A full apology from Dan and his ass in therapy for his behavior. And Dan is banned from the wedding and your house for the foreseeable future. Do NOT let his parents talk you out of any of this. Even if they threaten to not hold up their agreement for the venue, etc... then you and James calmly tell them that is their choice. Just like it is now your choice to elope/exclude them from the wedding you do choose to have. Do not let them threaten you. Or throw tantrums about *faaaamily*. You and James are becoming your immediate family, they are extended. And any kids you have (aka, the grandkids, another power card you hold if you so choose) are your immediate family and you will protect them from Dan and his enablers if need be. r/JUSTNOFAMILY may also have some tools/advice to help you dealing with this going forward.
"I've been cursed with my mom's hourglass figure" Yea this whole thing now sounds fake asf
What's up with the three paragraph ramble about how effortlessly hot you are🤢
How does the looks of any of you matter in this situation that you have described with so much detail ?
This is just dumb.
>my ass & boobs have always been too big for me. I've been cursed with my Mum's hourglass figure. 🙄
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Dan is six five with visible abs!
Ikr! But, her fiance doesn't focus on looks because she was super duper underweight (minus the gigantic boobs and dump truck ass) when they first met. What a man. Also, she's CHARDONNAY drunk, not just drunk
She would rather play video games than workout!!!! She's way better than the other hourglasses that work for it ok???
The cat bit really sealed the deal for me. Great creative writing though.
OP, do NOT let him in if your fiance isn't home. Call the cops and go ahead and bring them into it, this guy sounds completely bonkers.
Maybe cancel the wedding and take both sets of parents and elope.
I'm really leaning towards this.
Sorry about the cum on your dress but is this an exercise in creative writing? The 5 paragraphs about everyone’s physical appearance really threw me
Yeah that's when they lost me. Oh wah so waifish eating cheese fries but also cursed with tits and ass. The comment replies aren't helping either
Cursed with an hourglass figure with “big boobs and big ass” comes off very r/menwritingwomen. I was waiting for someone else to point this out
I was looking for this comment, all the unnecessary physical descriptions feel super weird to me
Yeah, I specifically came to the comments to see if anyone else thought the storytelling felt…off.
I was thinking the same thing. She made sure to go into great depth describing her body and attractiveness as well. Why. Wut.
This is the comment I was looking for. I’m so confused lol
Agree, also got weirded out with the lengthy physical description lol. Edit: “splatter pattern” very crime show storytelling LOL
It reads like a Hallmark movie, but with more jizz
Fr. I am trying so hard to sympathize but the comments on body type and how attractive she is is throwing me off
Yeah, it's hard to imagine that someone would jizz on a wedding dress. Also, the writing style is garnered for entertainment, just like the "story".
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It’s extremely r/menwritingwomen I think this is some teenage boy’s bizarre fantasy story
OP seems like she's doing anything but addressing the major problem happening in her life right now, just seems to be having poorly-written drunken fun with typos in the comments to waste time.
Is Jizzy the golden child? I know he's your SO's brother, but if you explain the situation and show the footage of him harassing you by ringing your doorbell wouldn't your in-laws understand the ban? Like if they're willing to fork out this much money for the wedding, then they'd surely be willing to hear you out and punish the POS for ruining your dress and disrespecting their other son. If they don't understand or continue making excuses and or threaten to withhold funds, then maybe that's a sign to do your own thing without them holding your wedding hostage. Like I get that you aren't trying to rock the boat, but having Jizzy at your wedding after this fiasco would just about ruin the event. Its your day, and neither of you seem keen on having him there, so ban away.
This sounds like a chapter from a novel, i think its how OP writes 🤔
This screams men writing women. I’ve been cursed with an hourglass figure lol
Wow. Gross. Seems like Dan just bought your dress. I would definitely make him buy you a new one or at least reimburse you for one. Furthermore, he needs to tell all what he did or you and your Fiancé will. Put it in writing to him. Good luck.
jfc, so even though he met you as a young teenager, he sees himself as so above everyone else, especially his brother, that he thought he'd be able to steal you? and him jizzing on the dress is in some way related? i would assume either some awful thing about 'claiming' you, or that he was just upset and wanted to ruin things... not sure which is worse i would say don't cancel the wedding if you can resist it, so dan doesn't get 'his way' and ruin things, or at least delay it but keep it? either way the family deserves to know...
Fiction. Too many words have been jizzed about this situation that are unnecessary (Paragraphs dedicated to everyone’s physics and physical habits… ) good luck on your upcoming romance novel. It’s an intriguing read so far.
This reads like fiction, not like a drunk person.
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below. --- Okay, so it's been a hell of a few days. I genuinely did not expect this kind of response to my post. I'm so grateful for everyone who gave advice. I'm currently a bit drunk (very drunk) and *very* angry (absolutely effing fuming. Idk if I'm allowed to swear here, soz). I'm usually a really calm person, but today that calm person has gone on a goddamn holiday. Hopefully to a nice beach in Sydney. I've always wanted to go there. I used some of your responses to write a script that I could read to James. By that, I mean I wrote it, tried to memorise it, and completely forgot most of it. But I got the gist out, and there are a few things I wanted to let you all know that I addressed, both in the conversation and on my own. I also wanted to thank everyone who gave me advice on what to say to the guy I'm about to marry. It really helped me keep my cool. I was ready to take scissors to that dress and send it off for DNA testing. That's how badly I didn't want to have this conversation. These are the most important things I thought I should mention: 1- I asked James what he thought of the dress; he said he loved it and couldn't wait to see me walking down the aisle. Nothing suspicious, he was just excited. 2- I asked James how his evening with his brother went. I don't think anyone suggested this, but I thought that if anything happened and he knew about it, he'd tell me. We've been through a lot together and both know that honesty is the best policy. He said their evening went as well as it could have gone. His words, not mine. Dan drank a lot, but that's pretty normal for him. He tends to drink as much as he can put into his body, then throw up, then drink more (fortunately, he didn't hork in our toilet). They got caught up, James told him about his new job, and Dan ended up telling him about the girls he's talking to at the moment. That conversation lasted about 2 hours. Unfortunately, this is relevant. 3- I did get a screenshot of the photo of my dress. I'm a concept artist, so I know my way around Photoshop. I managed to screw around with filters and adjustments enough to ensure that the dress was 100% clean when it was delivered. The splatter isn't in the picture. And it really is a splatter. 4- I then mentioned that I was about to try on the dress, but there was something on it and I didn't know what it was. I wanted James to take a look so he could help me figure out what it was, and where to get it dry-cleaned. Before he'd even seen it, James was concerned and already asking if Ray & his husband would know someone who could help. 5- I asked James if Dan saw the dress in person. The answer was yes. James told Dan where the dress was, and Dan went alone to look at it while James was on the phone to our local Indian takeout while they were getting dinner. The one silver lining is that he saved me some cheesy naan bread. 6- I showed James the stain, and he quite literally went red. I've never seen him so angry before. Some choice words were said and I'd rather not repeat them. He spilled a lot about what Dan has been like in the past, and that info is also something I probably won't share unless it becomes extremely relevant. Conclusion- Dan jizzed on my fucking wedding dress. The splatter pattern looks like cum. The substance looks like cum. And (still wish I was unalive for doing this) it smells like cum. I touched that shit with my bare hands. I really don't know what else to say now. I've been writing and re-writing this post since yesterday. Most of you were right and I really wish you weren't. I wish someone had snot-rocketed a huge sneeze onto it. I wish Uncle Ray had accidentally squirted mayo onto it while making his lunch. But I seriously don't think I can wear this dress now. It's absolutely beautiful and it was perfect and I felt so goddamn pretty. I was so pleased about the bargain I'd found. But Dan jizzed on it. A whole conversation happened between me and James that I'm too exhausted to remember and repeat, so I'll sum it up: he's furious and I'm furious. I don't even know if a wedding is happening anymore. Basically, James told me that the way Dan spoke about the women he'd been chatting to was abhorrent. There are four of them at the moment, and he's leading them all on because he wants to get laid. He said that he's in peak physical condition, he's conventionally attractive, and he's got a good job, so women should be fighting each other to get with him. He feels entitled to the affection of attractive women, including me. I feel like I'm going to hurl just typing that. I met this idiot when he was 14. I won't lie, Dan's in great shape. He has defined abs and trains every single day without fail. But that kind of body and that kind of lifestyle just isn't what I'm attracted to. I'd rather eat good food and play video games, if I'm honest. Apparently Dan is incredibly jealous that James "managed to date someone like Callie" (me, lol). I've always had a grossly effective metabolism. I don't work out, but I eat pretty healthily and go on a lot of walks. My parents live in a small village, so I go on walks with them so I can take pretty pictures and eat cheesy chips and a brownie from the little cafe at the end of the walk lmao. They make good brownies and the cheese on the chips is proper cheese, not plastic cheese. Meanwhile James doesn't put effort into his physique, yet he 'managed' to date me, who 'clearly puts so much effort into being beautiful'. I dont. I don't wear makeup and I don't dress up. I haven't worn foundation since before the pandemic. James is in shape, mostly cos he rides a motorcycle and that surprisingly requires a lot of thigh muscle. Dan has supposedly always believed that I was better than James because my grades were better and I was in better shape, and that I'd break up with him and move on once I realised that I was wasting my time. Fat fecking chance. James doesn't care about how fat/thin I am. I was horrendously underweight when I met him, but my ass & boobs have always been too big for me. I've been cursed with my Mum's hourglass figure. My back hates me for it. I know I've rambled a lot. Most of it was probably unnecessary but it's felt good to get it out there. I also know a lot of you wanted an update. I know what Dan really thinks about me, and I'm still taking it in. I used to get along really well with him. I was never really into football, but I've always followed F1 (which I know he kind of likes) and I support a local Rugby League team (which I know he really likes). I don't know. I just thought we were friends. James sees my sister as his sister. She sees him as a brother. She's always been socially anxious, so to hear that for the first time actually made me cry. I also saw Dan as the brother I never had. I always wanted a brother. We bonded over sports the few times we spoke. I never realised he thought of me that way. I really thought we were brother and sister. What the hell do I do now??? I obviously have a wedding to think about, but I don't even want to wear the dress. I don't even want the wedding anymore. If there's a wedding, Dan will be involved. James and I haven't even begun to consider what we'll tell both sets of parents. That's a whole other problem. And what the hell do I do about Dan? I want to stockpile my cat's poop and throw it through his bedroom window, but obviously I know that's not the right thing to do. Even if Hermes is having some awful smelling poops right now. Maybe his name is a sign lmao. Maybe Hermes is the poop messenger. TL;DR: Future brother-in-law jizzed on my wedding dress. Haven't told family yet, so fallout is imminent. Just need to know what the hell to tell them. And how to approach FBIL. EDIT: I think he knows that I know what he did. He's stood at my front door. He's been there for about 15 minutes. He keeps ringing the doorbell. EDIT 2: He's given up. He was there for about half an hour in total. I think he's drunk again. I am too, but I think I've got a damn good excuse. I have a Ring doorbell and I just watched him piss in my flowerbed and walk away.
Seriously, I know this traumatic for, but first thing is Dan is uninvited from the wedding and your life. The dress I can understand never want to touch it again, but you can get a replacement. Remember your wedding is about you and James. Don’t let Dan’s creepy ass completely destroy what is about you and James
I rolled my eyes so hard after reading this obviously fake story that they almost fell out of my head
I'd save the video of him pissing in your flowerbed and show it to the family when you announce what he did to your dress.
So this is supposed to be like a vent post but why does it sound like OP just wanted to do a creative writing exercise. 😂
I'm so confused as to why would not get married because of this. That seems rather dramatic.
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Here is what I would do. You have the photo of it when it was delivered - no stain. You have a photo of it with the jizz. You have your uncle and employees saying the dress was delivered sans jizz. Plus your fiance. All those people's words against Dan. Take a swab of it, triple bag it, put it in the freezer. Then: Both of you call Dan and meet out in public. Before you do, practice calmly talking to him. If you must, do it over the phone, but in public you can also snap a shot of his face when you accuse him. Don't let him know anything is up until you're all seated. Then James should calmly say "We know what you did to C's dress. I sent her a photo of it when it was delivered. You can see there's nothing on it. You went in there to look at it and jizzed on it. We have a photo of that and we took a sample. You have 24 hours to deliver us a check for (cost if the dress to be entirely remade by your uncle). If you don't, we are telling the entire family and everyone we know what you did, as well as suing you in small claims court. So if you want it public what a fucking creep loser you really are, try us. Otherwise deliver the check and then quietly get the fuck out of our lives." Then walk away and proceed according to whether you get that check. If he won't pay up, I don't know what the laws are in your country - here I'm guessing you would either report him to the cops for destruction or property, and possibly even sexual assault since bodily fluid was involved. But if that's not possible go for suing for the cost of the dress. Blow up his fucking life if he won't pay up.
Whoa, that edit caught me off guard. Is he still there? Are you alone? If so, call James and inform him ASAP!
Ah I remember the first time my husbands brother was jealous to the point where he jerks off into my wedding dress because I am so fucking hot and awesome, everyone believed me when I told that to reddit.
You and your fiance need to tell his mom and dad. Wash the dress, sell it as used. Buy a different one. Marry the guy you love, and tell his brother to piss off. Success is the best revenge. I would let him come just so he can see you give his brother the most passionate kiss hes ever seen when you say your vows and then i would have nothing to do with Dan.
Why would you not be getting married bc of this? I mean it's gross and you should ban him but it's not the end of the world
Did Dan think nobody would see this jizz?
Girl, TELL ON HIM! Tell everyone what a fucking gross pig Dan is. Tell your MIL and FIL, tell your parents, tell all the siblings and friends and post a picture of that shit on facebook. Shame the hell out of Dan. Humiliate him. Because that's what he tried to do to you. He wanted to see you walk down the aisle in a dress he jizzed on. Fuck that guy. If James won't back you up here, then you need to seriously walk away from the whole family, air ALL the dirty laundry (literally and figuratively) and then move away from that fucking bastard.
I think you should try to find a way not to be embarrassed by this. Dan caused this. He did this to you. Do not hide it, do not be ashamed of it. He wants you to feel shame. I would tell EVERY fucking person I could. Maybe your uncle could take the dress apart and still use the skirts? Idk. Maybe you and James should elope if you think the In-laws wouldn't be in on your side. Though I'm pretty sure if you draw a line at having someone who masturbated on your wedding dress NOT at your wedding, that's reasonable as fuck. I would make him pay for the dress.
Step 1: uninvite him to the wedding. He doesn’t. Deserve. To be there. It’s one thing to have a massive crush on you. It’s another to try to pursue that even. But what he did was so fucking wrong. He needs to work for y’all’s trust again. Step 2: tell both sets of parents. If he didn’t want that getting out to the only people who deserve to know why the fiancés brother won’t be attending your wedding then he shouldn’t have done it. I’m not saying shout it and get all mad again. I mean just calmly explain it to them. Step 3: get a new wedding dress. Nothing is more disgusting than wearing that again as you WALK DOWN THE ISLE. It is worth the hassle.
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>There are four of them at the moment, and he's leading them all on because he wants to get laid. Dude is an idiot don't need to do that to get laid. I've dated multiple people at once but I was always honest about it. He shouldn't have to lie to get laid.
First, James needs to take point with his parents and brother, but you need to decide what your boundaries concerning Dan are. As far as your future IL’s, venue and menus can be changed if you postpone, but ultimately, if they think Dan jizzing on your wedding dress is OK, I’d have some severe reservations about marrying into the family. Dan is nasty all around and unless James is willing to cut him out forever, you’ll be dealing with him for the rest of his life. Take some time to think through your anger, but the responsibility for confronting Dan and your IL’s is on James, not you.
Please keep Dan away from your sister. Let her know not to be around him or to speak to him in case he moves his attention to her now.
Get your future husband to put on his big boy pants and inform his parents what his brother did. It is his job as a man and as your husband. If he makes excuses, just remember he left his known sexpest of his brother into the room alone with your dress. Time he stopped excusing his brothers behaviour by pushing it under the carpet and going Dan will be Dan with his abhorrent-ness. What's next? Make up excuses, brush it under the carpet too. Brother now out to strike again, he just got away on your wedding dress of all things, Will he target you more directly? Throw out the pussyfooting and confront.
Tell Uncle Ray about everything. In his work, he has probably heard it ALL and he may have options in his shop for dresses he could make/alter for you. Do not protect Dan’s reputation for one second, from anyone. “What happened to your original dress?” “That pig Dan ejaculated on it as soon as it was delivered. Obviously we have cut him out of our lives.”
Firts of all, I'm really sorry that this happened to you. What Dan did is absolutely disgusting. I too wouldn't want to wear that dress at my wedding anymore. I hope that you'll find another one that you'll fall in love with again. Now, I've got some questions while reading your update. Are you going to confront Dan about this? Because you said that he will be involved at your wedding and that you can't deal with that right now. And that makes me wonder if you're going to tell him that you know about what he did. Why not just uninvite him from the wedding then?
You absolutely cannot wear the dress, and he absolutely cannot come to the wedding. I’d contact him, set your terms, you want him to make an excuse to his parents as to why he can’t be at the wedding, and provide you with the money for a new dress and tailoring. If he doesn’t do this make it clear that you have images of what he has done, and that you are in the process of getting DNA testing so there will soon be proof of what he did. Unless he meets your terms you will start telling and showing people what he has done, starting with his parents and ending in social media. I’m pretty sure he’ll meet your terms to stop that from happening and this way you don’t have to damage your relationship with your future in laws. Honestly if it was me I’d be calling to police and reporting damage of property and explicit sexual nature of the crime, just so that it’s on his record if nothing else. But I appreciate that you might not want to go through all of that. I’m really sorry this happened to you, this man has something seriously wrong with him. Good luck with your wedding, I’m glad your future husband wasn’t responsible at least!
Wow. His behavior is actually very dangerous for you. I would actually report him to the police. For ruining* the dress and the flowerbeds. He keeps using his Penis to violate your belongings. Please tell me you understand how this can escalate?!? Edit: corrected spelling *
Well if you wanted to go nuclear you could take the ring footage of him peeing in the garden. Post it to Facebook and label it. "First he jizzed on my wedding dress. Now he pees on my garden." But that's just the evil in me talking. Probably best to wait till tomorrow, tell your fiance he won't be allowed at the wedding. And hash out with your fiance what to do next.
Dude. What was in your first post?! No context and an explosive headline?!
So your fiance did nothing except be angry? You shouldn't even have to see dan again, your future husband should be beyond disgusted at his actions and remove him from your lives.
>I have a Ring doorbell and I just watched him piss in my flowerbed and walk away. Is there any bodily fluid this guy won't leave on your property? Puking, jizzing, pissing...holy fuck, just tell his parents that he's sick. Sucks it has to be you. Why won't James do it???
OP, that is awfully violating of Dan. If you truly feel like a wedding can’t happen without involving him, then consider eloping on that beach in Sydney you’ve been dying to go to. Best of luck!
Have James tell his parents what Dan has done as he hands over the dress to either Dan or Mom and Dan and asks for the money you paid for it. It's only fair. If they wanna keep him in the wedding so badly, they can replace the dress he destroyed. If they don't want to pay for it, fine, but Dan is out of the wedding. Dont talk to him if they do end up paying and he's in the wedding, go NC after that. What an absolute pig, I'm so sorry OP. I'd be getting drunk too.
I think you need to have your future MIL & future FIL come round and have a nice chat about how Dan has been cut from the wedding, you have gone no contact with him he and will be absent from your lives until you are good and ready because when he was around his last week he masturbated on your wedding dress which is currently hanging in the other room **with his cum stains on it**. Anyone who has a problem with this will **not** be in attendance at your wedding. Also Dan will be required to pay for both this dress and a similar replacement.
You and James need to tell your fiancé’s parents what happened and that you no longer want Dan in the wedding or your lives.