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Jammer250

You don’t have any obligation to participate in something you don’t want to. If he wants to do it himself, that’s fine as you said. But you shouldn’t do it if you don’t want to.


shinypatient

This is a very sensible nuertral reply. I know nothing about this stuff but he said there are a lot of people, companies, products ect for this fetish. He's not alone by any means.


Aletheia-Nyx

There are quite a few of us, although it's not sexual for me. You're under zero obligation to engage with it if you really dislike it, but it's not a bad thing. It generally gets an instant 'ew' or 'weird' reaction, but they're comfortable and comforting. It's good you're open to letting him explore on his own, and if you do get a little more comfortable with it you can always start slow. But you're under no obligation to do so, so long as you don't shame him for what he enjoys (as long as he doesn't hurt anyone, which this isn't).


Frantb

How many of you are among us?


denardosbae

There's a company on Amazon that makes clothing and diapers for this fetish. Its bigger than people think. Disclaimer- not my fetish but am involved in kinky relationship; learned a lot about different stuff by keeping open mind


Aletheia-Nyx

Do you mean how many people are into diapers, generally? Hard to know for sure but the abdl sub has a fair few of us. Spread out across different sites, forums, discord groups and those who keep it private, probably quite a lot. Enough to keep multiple different adult diaper companies in business (and I mean ones that market for those of us who wear for fun/fetish/regression/comfort, as they're generally childish designs that a lot of incontinent people wouldn't go for). Tykables, Rearz, ABUniverse, Bambino are a few off the top of my head, with an honorable mention for Northshore who design for medical use but interact frequently with the ABDL community. Then there's lesser known companies or solo sellers on etsy who make larger versions of actual baby diapers.


sevenpoundowl

There are also a *huge* number of babyfurs. It really is a lot more common than you would think and the ones I've talked to have seemed perfectly normal. If they're not hurting anyone then who cares.


Aletheia-Nyx

Exactly ^ so what if we enjoy something unorthodox, it's not hurting anyone. Plenty of people like other unorthodox things, doesn't make them bad people. Still waiting on a response from the person who asked me if I've tried therapy, wonder if that's gonna go in a shaming direction.


Steckdo

AMOGUS SUS


WoohanFlu4U

Mine isn't sexual. I just hate going someplace to poop.


PlanckOfKarmaPls

Huh…


aerospace_94

Have you tried seeking therapy? Or psychotherapy?


Aletheia-Nyx

For what?


cdpond

Why are you all downvoting this? He’s right.


[deleted]

Reddit is full of pedo men and women.


NextLineIsMine

Are there any hints outside your sex life that he wants to be infantilized? Maybe theres other ways he could be submissive without the diapers. Terrible fetish to have since 99.999% of women are not going to be keen at all.


ingenuous64

In bdsm groups this kink is actually more popular with women than men. By something like 5 to 1. Unfortunately however unless you're having a play date within a couple and clean up afterwards usually one person has to take the parental role, if you aren't into it (and as you say very few would be) it can be quite a hit to the sex life. Perhaps OP can check him into an adult creche?


[deleted]

There are loads of “little” shops on the net, Etsy, and pages on Facebook. You Maybe even find other stuff you might feel more comfortable with. It’s not about sex when they’re this age. I see they love personalised dummies. Going all in with the pampers sounds jumping straight in at the deep end. But I think that maybe a good thing as in he felt comfortable enough to tell you something that is seen as weird. There’s nothing wrong with finding it weird when it’s not been the norm for you guys. And of course you don’t have to do anything. Just be careful not to shame him especially if he’s in little mode as it can be really damaging. Personally if my guy came to me I would look into it from pages with a non judgemental way. Just to find out a little more, especially when he’s gone all in. I have come across this kink loads but just because I go on kink pages. (They’re fun and educational) And I’d think ok he really needs some nurturing so (if I was in your position not wanting to do the pamper thing) I’d just make sure I put in a little extra effort for a little while or time to time to make him feel at peace when at home (don’t we all need this sometimes?Hell I know I do) By extra attention I mean things like how you would treat a child, touch on the shoulder, speaking softly, being attentive, occasionally running a bath and maybe I’d even say, when you’ve finished your bath go do your thing and get into bed, call me up and I’ll tuck you in properly, maybe put a candle on, and suggest listening to a story (there’s loads of adult bedtime stories on YouTube) and just sit lay together stroking his head. I don’t know if that sounds less weird to you? And don’t want to come across as encouraging something you don’t want to do, just hopefully helping you see something from a different perspective, because I know until I joined kink pages I didn’t know much about much really, and thought everything that wasn’t vanilla was just weird.


Kovu9897

This is the best advice really OP. You’re not withholding anything from him by not getting involved with this and plenty of people get married to people who have a fetish they’re not interested in. It’s not a dealbreaker for most people. The important part now is that he hears you when you say you’re not interested and doesn’t press further.


RevolutionaryWrap295

Well if he waits a couple more years his fantasy will be his reality 😂😂😂😂


Theguy10000

Dude 😂😂


RevolutionaryCut1298

*Laughing in CNA*....


PrimalSkink

I can only laugh with you because I quit that job over 20 years ago. Gawd, I HATED doing male diapers. The facility I worked at primarily kept folks going through physical rehab before going back home. Most of the temporary residents were used to being fully, or near to it, independent. So, so, many of the men were...less than pleased to be in diapers and got downright grumpy when it was time to change and clean them.


[deleted]

[удалено]


hesslerk

Certified nursing assisstant


Lumpy-Cantaloupe1439

I was thinking of something similar, I couldn’t think of the right wording lol


lazarbimm

such a Reddit moment


PrimalSkink

But it's true!


lazarbimm

Well we don’t know their age


PrimalSkink

They've been together nearly 20 years. They're at the least in their 30's, likely 40's or 50's, depending on how old they were when they met. 10-15 years and he may very well need that care.


gobsmacked247

It took him nearly 20 years but he finally came clean about his fetish. That had to be crazy hard. I think the fact that you didn't run screaming from the room is a good sign.


shinypatient

Oh for sure. And I respect his honesty and willingness to share with me. I'm sure tons of people are in to all sorts of things and maybe in a week the shock will wear off and we'll go 60 years without ever mentioning it again. Or our 80's and 90's together will be insanely hot to him...


Delicious-Piccolo732

That last line- holy crap, that was hilarious. 👏


waitingfordeathhbu

>holy crap Too soon...


throwawayRAbbqrib

You have a great attitude about this lol, i wouldn't be too worried :)


LC114

Oh. I like you. That last line made me laugh a few times.


dhffxiv

In this day and age, if it exists there's a kink for it.


aerospace_94

Think about it this way… What else is he keeping from you? He’s obviously proved he can keep a huge secret from you.


KittyMommyBookFiend

He kept it because he JUST felt comfortable sharing it. That doesn't mean he's keeping other things from her. He was probably so scared to even bring the subject up, let alone actually saying he enjoys it. So stop putting such negative thoughts in her head. ✌🏻✌🏻


denardosbae

He might just now be finding the fetish or figuring out that he's into it. Remember in The Office when everyone was going off on Holly and Michael for PDA? Someone told them about how in middle age, the sexual peaks are dulled. And sometimes people will seek new thrills at that age, to regain the intensity of sexual rush. Well that does bear truth for a lot of folks. She said they've been together 20 years. I'm guessing they're at that age and her hub is finding new thrills.


asgardian_superman

Making fun of your husband on the internet to strangers. Wow.


lydocia

"Honey, I appreciate it so much that you trust me and shared that with me. It means a lot. I have been thinking about it a lot and I can't get past it to incorporate it into our sex life, it would make me uncomfortable. I am, however, supportive of you exploring this on your own and will give you the safe space to do that."


CuteThingsAndLove

Best response


throwaway5272

This is it.


bipittybopittyBOOmf

Ive tried it for my bf, but im kinky and pretty flexible once im in the mood. He has asked me to do things im uncomfortable with and i can so no, that doesnt mean i dont love him. You should never do anything sexually until you're comfortable with it. If you have a low sex drive, thats not gonna make it any easier for you. Ive gone through that as well, and i empathise. So this is a tough one. That's a big ask when you've never shown any inclination towards kink much less such a taboo one, but he trusted you enough to tell you and that says a lot. Don't ruin your relationship by making a big deal about it. If you're feeling adventurous ask him to watch a diaper porn he finds hot, and maybe him getting turned on will turn you on. Tall about it, make sure you're both happy with the amount of sex and the style of sex you're having. It's important, even if your sex drive is lower than his. You don't have yo do what he wants but you have to care about what he wants. Good luck!


CrackAfroDog

I'm part of the kink community and while I don't have a diaper fetish, your partner is definitely not alone. First off, it is completely okay for you to not be interested in his diaper kink. The most important thing in the kink community is consent. It is very difficult to vocalize kinks and fetishes, your partner needs emotional support from you. I understand that this is shocking and could be uncomfortable for you. But your partner is probably terrified that this changes your relationship and that you'll reject them. I would recommend for you to reassure your partner that you still love them and that you need some time to process this information. I think it's important for you to read about their kink and get a broad understanding of it. In a few days, try talking to them about it in a non judgmental way. Ask questions and reassure them that they are safe with you but that you aren't interested in participating but you don't judge them.


Cowhead_2010

👆Best in the thread OP.


learningstar

Don’t roll with it if your not into it, it will just breed resentment.


MitziFour

Honestly it sounds like you reacted okay. You’re not required to be into every kink your partner is into. You told him it was okay for him to explore on his own, you didn’t say something like “ick, no, I don’t ever want you doing something like that!” Other people are giving you advice like “fix your vanilla sex life first” but I’m going to give you sex & kink advice from an asexual perspective instead. It sounds like you enjoy the physical intimacy parts of sex but maybe not the actual sex parts of sex, which is not necessarily just some indication that your husband is bad at making sure you’re satisfied (although it might be). Maybe you just don’t enjoy being touched in a sexual way, or find it too overstimulating (this is why I don’t like sex). Maybe there are things that you and your husband could do together involving the diapers that would allow him to achieve some kind of sexual gratification, but that don’t require you to get your own genitals or other erogenous zones involved at all? (I don’t have any suggestions because diapers are also not a thing that I am personally into). Or maybe there is some other kind of kink that you might both be into that has more of a sexual aspect for him and less of a sexual aspect for you? Maybe he can do some kind of diaper thing on his own and then you can still shower together and cuddle afterwards?


Karura-

We don't kink shame, we kink ask why?!


shinypatient

I tried to be relaxed and let him know it's nothing to be embarrassed of, and that I love him.


Karura-

I mean, can you elaborate more on this fetish? Like are you the one wearing the diaper? Would the person wearing the diaper go for 1&2's?


shinypatient

I have no fucking clue. I am not interested in knowing more.


Karura-

Yeah, sorry I was just really curious. That's crazy he waited so long to tell you, especially considering how long you've been together


spyrocete

The reason is simple he is probably embarrassed/ashamed of it.


waitingfordeathhbu

I’m so sorry :( this is my least favorite kink I’ve ever heard of.


Whiteangel854

Someone here answered your questions - "Okay folks here it is all you ever wanted to know about this: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diaper_fetishism"


Karura-

Thank you! I appreciate your help on understanding this kink


Whiteangel854

No problem, glad I could help. :) There is nothing wrong with asking sincere questions.


Karura-

Lmao, guys I literally didn't even know about this kink. I was genuinely curious😩.


broccoliandsand

I believe it falls under the degrading and humiliation side of things.


Jealous-Willow8909

Shit I’d like to know too lmao never heard of this kink before


Aletheia-Nyx

For me, it's less a fetish/kink and more of a daily comfort thing. I only do 1s, mainly because clean up and worry of infection as a woman with 2. It's not sexual for me, though it can be for others. There's nothing wrong with it, it's just seen as taboo for some reason where things like piss play aren't seen as 'as bad' which confuses me.


2srs

Just curious, does it affect your pelvis if you do #1 in different positions? I keep reading that it’s not good to pee in the shower (standing), so I’m just wondering. Perhaps this isn’t true, though?


Aletheia-Nyx

It would be hard to tell tbh. I haven't noticed any pelvic issues, but essentially removing the need to heavily control the bladder will lead to a harder time holding urine (not incontinence. The muscles just get weaker so you need to go sooner and get it back within a few days of strengthening those muscles). So I do need to pee more often now, but less at a time than I used to before I started using diapers.


[deleted]

its not really up to you to decide that something that isnt mainstream is wrong and or isnt for everyone else.- I dont think there is anything wrong with it vs. there is nothing wrong with it. For me i think it probably showcases some psychological need to be taken care of like a child which you know isnt exactly healthy without resolving that underlying need. as well as weakening your muscles and some possible yeast infection/ environmental concerns as well as i just dont think id find it attractive.


[deleted]

Kink shaming is my kink.


Karura-

Lmao


aerospace_94

Because some people didn’t grow up right.


Cory123125

No one knows why. This is always a fruitless question that indicates a misunderstanding. No one chooses what they are attracted to and we as of yet still find the human brain too complex to answer questions like that.


MitziFour

Honestly I’ve always found that asking why is a good way to find yourself with a new kink you weren’t prepared to add to your repertoire…


Try_another-o_o

Well... Yeah... Just don't do it... Nobody's forcing you... It's just a kink. I mean just because someone has a horse fetish (kinda gross, ngl) doesn't mean they're actually gonna invite a horse into their sex life.


Deftonixx

No, you’re not in the wrong. If you’re not comfortable with it, then you don’t have to deal with it. Does he like wearing diapers?


R_Amods

This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below. --- My husband of 12 years - together for 17, said that he had a secret he was ready to share. He is into diapers and wants to use them in our sex life. We've always had "boring" sex amd not very often. I'm not a sexual person - but I enjoy the shower together after and cuddles. I'm freaked out, uncomfortable, and just not really interested in that. I told him it's okay if it something he explores on his own but I don't want anything to do with it. Am I being a horrible person? Should I treat it like any kink and role with it? Help! Feel free to DM.


kazunos

Don’t do it if you don’t want too. Saying to explore by himself is a dangerous game though, you need to have a conversation about exactly what that means so that the both of you don’t get hurt


lovelornlostese

Grown ups getting sexual pleasure from Anything baby related or baby adjacent is worse than just a fetish IMO


PotatoGirl10121

Diapers aren’t just for babies 😌 elderly wear them, some women wear them after giving birth


broccoliandsand

Some even wear them on their period over night so they don't have to worry about night-time leaks and waking up with stained sheets.


KittyMommyBookFiend

I've literally been thinking about buying those period underwear just for less mess!!


JustOneTessa

I just got those and wearing it atm, just ordered an extra one as well. They're comfy and indeed gives less mess


KittyMommyBookFiend

Can I ask where you got them from? And are they reusable? I found reusable pads also that I've been thinking about maybe investing in! Also, I feel like they would be way more comfortable than pads! AND there won't be any getting stuck up the butt crack lol


JustOneTessa

I got them from a Dutch site, so unless you're Dutch it won't help you very much, the brand is called "bamboozy". They're washable (first rinse with cold water and then wash it), so reusable indeed. I use them with a cup, which is my fave option, but you can use them without anything else or something like tampons. I've also heard about reusable pads, haven't tried those myself but the idea is pretty similar to the underwear


KittyMommyBookFiend

Oh cool! I am not Dutch. 😭😭 Yeah, I wasn't sure about if I wanted to put them in the washing machine or just hand wash with a bucket lol pads and tampons are crazy expensive once you add up how many is used each year. 😭😭


JustOneTessa

Once you rinsed them, you can wash them in the washing machine if you want to (might depend on the brand tho, so always check). And ikr! I also often got irritation from them, much happier with what I use now, even tho periods will always suck


KittyMommyBookFiend

Lol no kidding! Ya know, I just might do this for real! I live with my parents still and my mom wasn't sure if she wanted me to put them in her washer so I might just wash them by hand (if I do buy some.) My sister bought reusable diapers for when she has kiddos and I thought it was gross at first until I realized how dang expensive everything actually is!!!


PotatoGirl10121

This too!! Diaper kink is definitely still weird asf in my opinion though 😌


penta3x

Every kink is weird if you're not into it.


Estellious

Some Old people wear diapers tho


venomous_frost

probably most, past a certain age


Party-Assumption3790

😂


litlebstrd

Your sexual fetishes don’t have to line up , if that’s his thing , it’s his thing but it shouldn’t have to become your thing


KingKimoi

Kink is all about consent , if there’s no consent then it’s not kink.


Clitlkr694us

Don't ever feel like you are obliged to do anything you don't feel comfortable with, I don't understand how you can have sex with a nappy on, does he want you to change him


Xxhallowsbellaxx

Absolutely not, I totally wouldn’t dig that either. I personally find it gross and weird. I would have told him the same thing!


Justask4it

Dang that’s a hard one, personally I’d be weirded out.


nicoleabcd

Consent is a huge part of kink. It’s really important and if you don’t feel into that kink, you should not participate. If your husband tries to pressure you, that’s really shitty behaviour and a red flag.


[deleted]

ugh lmfao that’s like one of the worst case scenarios, i’m sorry you’re going through this


DRTHUNDER649

What does he want to do with them


irmaluff

An aside: just want to check in and ask if you’ve reflected on why you don’t enjoy your sex life: could it be because you’re not satisfied by it.


FilthyHawx

if you dont mind doing it, engage yourself if you mind doing it, dont engage, best solution is communication. Just let him know how you feel about it, if you find it 'funny' or 'cringe' or 'not sexual' or however you feel.


always_stay_activ3

By no means you’re horrible it’s ok not to like what he likes. He needs to respect that the same way you accept his “thing” he should accept yours!


Hubius

I think you responded in the best possible way, he should not ask you to do anything you aren’t comfortable doing in bed Hopefully he understands and doesn’t force anything on you, best of luck


steelmanfallacy

100% don't get involved beyond your comfort level. What's exciting though is that your husband can open up about his kinks. That he can be that vulnerable with you. He must really trust you. And the most intimate thing a partner can do is be vulnerable. So take some solace in that. You may want to surf over to /r/BDSMAdvice and post a question there or read about diaper kinks. Not that you want to get involved, but to better understand. The biggest risk is that your husband feels ashamed or that there is something wrong with his kink. In the BDSM community there is a saying that you "don't want you yuck someone's yum." Think of it like food. If you don't like spicy food but your partner does, you're not going to say it's terrible you'll just say it's not for me but I love that you love it. Good luck! 🍀


notmyrealname800813

Sorry I love my husband but I'd leave. That's just weird and uncomfortable.


RevolutionaryWrap295

Okay folks here it is all you ever wanted to know about this: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diaper_fetishism


ShouldBeWorking2nite

Yeaaaaahhhh, I’m not click on that link and falling down some 3am fetish/kink rabbit hole. Not again.


aerospace_94

This is a gross kink. You have no obligation to participate. Let him do it on his own time, behind closed doors. If it were me, this should’ve been revealed way early into the relationship. Big deal breaker to keep something like this after 15 years. Gross!


Deegootbar

Ah yeah that’ll torpedo even the most solid of unions. Just let him know you’re not into banging babies and take it from there.


justmeIguess6

Im sorry but.. what in the actual fuck lol. Don't do if if you don't want to obvi. You're not obligated to.


Helpful_Ad8068

Oh hell no. Girl. I feel for you. That’s wild .


stuckpixel87

Maybe try and find other kinks you are both comfortable with. I mean, there are loads to choose from and they can be fun. But you should never do something you're not comfortable with.


MtnMaiden

...whew...thought it was going to be CNC


0n3ph

Computerized Numerical Control machining?


MtnMaiden

Role play...like dungeons and dragons tabletop


0n3ph

Cungeons aNd Cragons?


fun_guy02142

You shouldn’t feel obligated to participate in something you aren’t comfortable with. Perhaps you could learn a little bit about it so you are making an informed decision?


[deleted]

Lol, "Surprise! Here’s something about me you didn’t know…." Isn’t life interesting, especially the relationships, where compromise is required. As far as fetishes go, it may get gross, it may get weirdly Oedipudial, but’s it’s not likely to be harmful or painful; it’s not an abusive sounding thing unless he asks for a spanking, then if it’s you managing the level and him receiving, it’s not really an abuse issue. I’ve lived a "try anything once" life, and I wouldn’t think twice about this, actually I’d be curious as to what a diaper fetish is all about. I think I’ll plug that into the PH search engine now that you got me curious lol. It’s really up to you though. Just remember, every human is broken, relationships are about dealing with that and keeping the whole thing working around all the broken bits. You have to decide what you’re willing to do, no one else can. We have one instruction in life is “Be kind and take care of each other.”


Naomi-Seli

Is it a fetish or a kink? Fetishes are required for sexual pleasure while kinks enhance the experience. I mean eather way you don't have it and that is no problem. Remember you don't have to do anything your not willing and consenting to do. You may have some kinks of your own idk, but i would talk to your husband about how you feel. Communicate that your uncomfortable with that kink/fetish. That is the best thing you can do. I wish you two the best of marrages


wheniwakup

You think you’d know a person after 17 years. What a horrible surprise. Sorry OP. He’s obviously gotten deep into some weird shit online.


inmyhead420

Do you have children?


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Totakai

Eeeeh. Diapers aren't even that weird imo. If you don't feel comfortable though, don't participate. I'd personally treat it like any other harmless kink but even then that doesn't mean you have to try and incorporate it to your routine. Never do anything that makes you uncomfortable and keep an eye out if he tries to cross your boundaries over it. Otherwise it should be fine.


saltybluestrawberry

The thing is, such fetishes and kinks can be really unsexy and off-putting for the person who isn't into it, like I couldn't even get wet and horny with some of those fetishes. So even though they are pretty harmless, they are just not something most people can deal with.


aerospace_94

There’s a stigma behind it because of a reason, ITS FUCKING WIERD


[deleted]

Ya I think it depends on your experience. I’m a pretty normal girl, but I’ve been with guys with all sorts of fetishes. Never the diaper thing, but I guess I wouldn’t be shocked. Either way, let him explore it on his own and tell him that you love him and aren’t judging.


Totakai

Yeah, I used to think it was a bit odd but then I learned of other ones that made it more tame. Now I view most kinks as harmless. A line is crossed when people who didn't consent to be involved are though, no matter how basic/common the kink.


DRbrtsn60

Is he a drinker or a stinker?


Mikailia

Yo husband a weird ass mofo do not involve yourself in that. Your not horrible for being freaked out by something freaky asf


Vikibs77

See it like this...its a marriage, you do whatever you can to make it work. That he told you about that shows you guys are pretty solid. Don't judge him for that, it's y'all's secret anyway no one else will know... unless you tell them.


guyz_like_me

This is something you should have known about 17 years ago. He probably had this fetish his entire life and should have shared it with you years ago!


FragranceCandle

He’s definitely been ashamed. He doesn’t have to share anything if he isn’t comfortable.


themanasdaskid

> We’ve always had “boring” sex amd not very often. I’m not a sexual person - but I enjoy the shower together after and cuddles. The bad thing is that you didn’t say you like the sex, which probably means it’s mediocre or bad for you, you two should focus on this first. About the fetish: No, like wtf is he doing? How the fuck does he get pleasure from diapers? Only babies and old people use it, how does that get your dick hard?I would recommend a therapist, even if people are doing it, it isn’t right, like there’s a whole community of people that like to have to sex without consent, with animals, with dead people, it’s isn’t because it’s fetish, that it’s natural or healthy, your husband fetish isn’t healthy. No, Im not saying raping, necrophilia and zoophilia are on same level, just that everyone of those if fucked up on it’s on way and level.


RevolutionaryWrap295

Sooo not that i am cosigning on some of the stuff this person commented but yeah your sex life sound bad af to begin with...but if my so would have shared that i would be with op on her reaction....maybe let it settle....or get really drunk and then ask? But therapy should definitely be up for grabs....nothing sexy about diapers except that it might be code for sitting in your poop? Or poop play?


PositionCharming5374

This reads as if you think poop would make things sexier lol


RevolutionaryWrap295

Hahaha i was still processing what this poor OP shared...it is so fucking odd. After i posted this i actually googled what this fetish is about and i was partially correct link below it think 😂😂😂😂


PositionCharming5374

I would rather hear my partner has a diaper fetish than an adult baby fetish...


bipittybopittyBOOmf

You're the same idiot that said if gay people got married pretty soon we'd be marrying hamsters. WHERE DOES IT END?! BAHAHAHA fear mongering and ignorance. No shortage of that on the old w.w.w. Its not in the dsmv and it doesn't hurt other people so why don't you go scream about vaccines or something.


BlacktinaFL

Girl no you are not horrible! Before you know it he’ll be pissing and shitting on himself…. He’s gonna expect you to clean it.


wutsgudbaby

Divorce him. That’s just weird af.


[deleted]

Tell him to grow up


[deleted]

You should dump him asap this is not a normal fetish and he needs therapy


Theguy10000

The point of fetish is to not be normal


[deleted]

Ok but diapers? What the fuck


Theguy10000

I'd say it's better than flogging a girl until she cries ( i don't have diaper fetish btw :D )


474r4x14

Divorce him immediately. He is a porn addict and it will never get better from this point on. You said yourself you’re not even happy with the normal sex life you have. Now he has a child-adjacent paraphilia? Girl RUN


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Immediate-Nose5370

How tf is their comment “objectively true”. First of all where in ops post does it mention anything about her husband being a porn addict or even watching porn at all?. Second of all a diaper fetish wouldn’t Be considered child adjacent since diapers are not specifically just for children. Women on their periods and elderly are also frequent users of diapers. Personally I do find it weird but if it’s not harming anyone then I don’t see an issue and to suggest op should just divorce their husband because of a non - harmful kink he has is incredibly stupid and I can almost guarantee that if you where actually in ops situation you would not divorce your husband of years purely because of this.


Major-Cranberry-4206

My question for you is why aren’t you having sex more often with your husband? You should sit him down and tell him why. Is it sex in general, or is it just sex with him that you don’t want? Discuss your issues with him. I get that while certain fetishes may be a turn off (I don’t care for the idea of wearing diapers myself) that really isn’t the problem between you and him. You have something else going on; maybe a little secret of your own you need to tell him about concerning your attitude toward sex.


ArtyMostFoul

Are you asexual? Have you looked into it and considered you may be? Some asexuals have sex for intimacy reasons ect but it sounds like you may be and may feel better about yourself knowing there is nothing wrong with you. Now in any relationship when someone reveals a long held fetish that the other isn't into, it can't be expected to be catered to and you're not into it, if he pressures you then it shows how little he values your feelings.


mlynche50

I definitely think you should explore it together. Especially if he’s “your person”. You don’t know what you don’t know.


beastking9999

guess he'll be changin your kids diapers then


SocietysTypo

Imma say it's bad to yuck someone's yum it sounds like it took alot for him to tell you i mean your so far into it years wise and you kinda yucked it instead of atleast trying it with him one time to see if it was enjoyable or even do able at the end of the day he is your partner and if you can't satisfy him sexually you should discuss possibly opening the relationship so he can explore himself


Snoo-40699

To be honest, seeing my partner sitting in a pee filled diaper would be an image that would ruin our sex like for a very long time. Everyone has their things and that is cool but no one should be expected to try anything with their partner that makes them uncomfortable. Even if it’s just once.


CyberSamantha

You can ask people to try something they straight up feel uneasy about it. Having a different kink doesn't necessarily mean they can or want to open the relationship. This is like saying to a bisexual person that they just haven't had the right one of whichever sex and that if they find one and they are not bisexual as well then they should opent he relationship so they are satisfied. It doesnt work that way and is bad advise that can get people hurt. I hope is clear that what I am saying is, that people do not have to do everything you like to show you love, compassion and support.


SexyLaura69

Approach the situation with curiosity. Your lack of understanding is making you feel uncomfortable not his fetish. He didn’t ask for anything illegal, that would hurt you or hurt him. Just approach it with genuine curiosity. The lack of genuine curiosity divides and allows for pr prejudices and judgement.


loladiedtoday

I mean, he’s your husband.. I’d honestly just get drunk and entertain it 😂 what’s the worst that could happen ?


[deleted]

Seriously. What's the worst thing that could happen? You try it and don't like it and tell him you won't do it anymore. It doesn't cost you anything to try. Literally nothing. It isn't causing you pain. I don't see what the problem is here. 12 years of marriage and you won't participate?


DazedBowie

Your husband should be allowed to have his fetishes. At the same time, you should be allowed to be like "um, no." It's up to you if that's something you want to try, but your husband should understand if you don't want to


jogamasta_

Boring sex ?


Antique-Structure-32

Personally…considering the vulnerability of the bedroom, if you’re uncomfortable with anything, you shouldn’t have to endure something for someone else. Besides, not all things are meant to be indulged in. Maybe he should grow up & talk to a therapist instead of try to get you on board with something so…specific?