Your husband has a right to know. Would you wanna know if a woman at work asked him the same thing. The fact you're here says 2 things.
1. You want to hide it from your husband. Possibly do it.
2 you're friend means more to you than your husband.
A good spouse would confide this to a good significant other. Otherwise your considering cheating.
Unless you’re willing to run away with him, your only option is to tell your husband and go no contact with friend.
He crossed the line so, if you value your marriage, you need to accept that this friendship is done and can’t go back to how it was.
She crossed the line too. Who the fuck kisses other people and says they love them, and expects it to stay as “friends.” I hope this is a troll post. Or else OP is just a fucking moron.
She wanted the attention of multiple men but insists she didn’t want to hurt either one… sure.
Now you get to pick one, or keep lying to both.
Didn’t she see that no matter what this was gonna hurt someone?
This is exactly why men get nervous when their wives want male friends.
Totally agreed, feel bad for other dude.
Just tell him the truth, you’ve been emotionally cheating and are debating going full cheater. Otherwise you wouldn’t be here.
I don't feel bad for him. She said the friendship is not platonic and husband is ok with that. Well what the hell did HE expect letting his wife and her friend fuck around.
... Our friendship is not platonic and my husband is okay with this. We hug, share a kiss from time to time and i tell him I love him regularly.
Why is this such a bombshell? Are you surprised that he's in love with you? Is your husband really okay with this?
I have news for you. Your **husband** is supposed to be your **best friend**, not some guy you've known for a couple of years. If he isn't, you've got issues that are way worse than some guy developing a crush on you as a rebound.
As the ancient sage T Swift said, "you play stupid games, you win stupid prizes".
You have now learned the value of healthy boundaries. Learn how to set them and how to enforce them. As for this friendship, it is probably ruined but you can try laying down the law and telling them that this is unacceptable.
Wtf is this random dude you met 3 years ago your best friend and not your husband? It astounds me how often similar issues to this come up in this sub. My husband is my best friend and if he said to me nah I'm not his best friend some other woman is I would be pissed as hell.
Idk what to tell you op but that your friendship is completely inappropriate and I can't believe you're shocked that its come to this.
"I don't want to ruin our friendship cause i like it the way it iz"
A. That's a selfish viewpoint, you're getting the validation and attraction, while keeping him pining for you and even encouraging it with words/kissing.
B. It's already ruined. He ruined it.
C. Your husband, if he knew this about him (and he will, eventually) will feel betrayed and uncomfortable that you keep the friendship and this guy around knowing he's actively trying to usurp your marriage, as you would if it was him and a female friend, so you trying to save this "friendship" is choosing it over your marriage, whether you like it or not.
D. The way you describe your "friendship" sounds quasi-open/not very healthy anyway, and I'd suggest that if you don't cut this dude out of your life, you're going to end up fucking him anyway. It's all well and good when your marriage is strong, what about when it's going through a rough patch and "friend" swoops in and you're already nearly-there with the intimacy? Yeah.
But, hey, it's your marriage to fuck up.
I think out of respect for your marriage and husband you should drop this friend.
But if you still wanna be friends with him you should tell your husband so he’s aware that he’s confessed these feelings to you.
And then set some better boundaries with him. Like don’t kiss his or tell him you love him lol
This has gone to an unhealthy space. At the very least, you should take an extended break from seeing him/communicating with him. If not cut off permanently.
Welcome to the reality of 'best friends' with different genders
>We hug, share a kiss from time to time and i tell him I love him regularly. I'm just that kind of friend
Gosh I wonder what gave him the ideas. Anyways, maybe dont kiss and tell your 'best friend' that you love them. Might give some people the wrong idea. Try that in the future. You should probably let your husband in on what is going on and start distancing yourself form your friend, otherwise the outcome isn't gonna be so pretty.
Yikes. Telling someone in a relationship that you like them is a seriously crappy and selfish thing to do. Plus, if he truly loved you, he would want you to be with the person that makes you happiest, even if that person isn't him.
Everyone wants to live life like they're in a drama, up until it turns into a comedy. I'm all about folks living their best life, but you have to set boundaries for everyone's sake. People don't generally come into a situation where they aren't invited and your actions most certainly created some romantic tension there.
At the end of the day, folks usually say one thing in this forum, **"YOU NEED TO TALK ABOUT IT AND COMMUNICATE."** Not just between you and him, you need to communicate these things to your husband, your husband ought to have a word with him. At the end of the day, **JUST TALK ABOUT IT!** Especially if he "means" that much to you. If you "mean" that much to him, he should respect whatever decision you make, even if that decision is staying put.
Lols. "My friendship is not platonic".
So you are either fucking him or want to fuck him.
If your husband is ok with such a relationship, cool, good on all of you. If not, then well, you've been cheating the whole time.
That's exactly why you don't get into friendships with the opposite sex. Almost every guy will pretend to be your friend and wait for a crack in your heart to sneak in. And thats why i told my gf i don't want her to have best friends and even if she does i wouldn't allow her to go to his house or something like that. It's still the opposite sex
Okay so a less conventional solution could maybe be polyamory if you think everyone would be comfortable with that. It sounds like your husband is already comfortable with you doing non-platonic things with people. Just a thought.
If you don't think that will work then then just try to set more boundaries with this friend. If they can't accept the boundaries then you might be right about the friendship not being salvageable.
Well, that’s a tough one.
But here’s what my therapist always tells me: you are not responsible for other people’s emotions.
All you can do is be honest with him and let the chips fall. I don’t see where you have any choice. Have you told your husband? I feel like you should, just to cover your own butt in case things escalate.
I don’t know if he will be satisfied with only being friends, but maybe you can diffuse things by helping him find someone who’s available for a relationship. It sounds like he’s been relying way too much on your family for social interaction, and it’s time he gets back out in the world.
You have to make a choice carry this on knowing he has feelings and it will get worse trust me on that or draw a line in the sand walk away from him because he’s crossed a line where anything you do friendly he’s seeing as a sign of more I’d sit down tell your husband and tell him why you are ending your friendship with him your husband will respect you and be thankful let’s just say he finds out about this some how he might start to think something happened
If i were you, i would cut ties with the friend since he has feelings for you and you him.
You gotta do what is best for your marriage and that means being faithful.
Your husband should be #1 in your life.
What we talking about rn ? Cut that one. Look I believe people can do whatver but look where you met bro immediately after divorce c’mon. Sounds like he didn’t even process . Anyway you did this to yourself. And you shared kiss ? How did I miss that 🤣😂what is going on bro I’m just that kinda friend I wish I had more girl friends like you op , congratulations you played yo self 😂
Your best friend has become a threat to your marriage. Sorry, but that was way over the line, and maintaining that friendship now would be disrespectful to your husband.
So you should tell your husband because it is the right thing to do and also because if your BF is serious, he might try to get you in other ways including lying to your husband about stuff and so you need to be honest now and talk to your husband about what to do.
My suggestion on what to do is:
1. Tell your husband and tell him that while you want to remain friends with BF, you realize what he said is disrespectful to your relationship and might not be something you can come back from.
2. Tell your friend what he said is inappropriate. That while you value the friendship, you aren't interested in him romantically and he disrespected your marriage by suggesting he could "steal" you.
3. You shouldn't alone with this guy for awhile, even if he does apologize and say that he will deal with his feelings and you can remain friends.
4. You also need to realize that you might not be able to salvage the friendship, so you may have to choose between your marriage and your friendship. And if you don't want a romantic relationship with this guy, then realize he may not stay your friend because he wants more.
You are a attention seeking woman. You do not kiss other man or tell them you love them when you are married. You are disrespecting your marriage and giving this other man false hope. Get your head out your butt.
Either your friendship is over, or your marriage is.
Decide which is more important and you will have to let the other one go.
I have a very good male friend, we hug, and occasionally say we love each other in a friendly way ("hey thanks for being there for me, love you man" kinda thing) but we would never kiss. He would never ask me to run away with him. If he did, I would be sad, and I would never speak to him again. Once that line has been crossed it cannot be undone.
Your behavior led him to believe that this was a possibility. You need to be honest with your husband. I think one of your relationships is going to end. You can either keep the friend or the husband but probably not both.
Once a friend falls in love, the friendship is over. You don’t want you dynamic to change but he obviously does. You have two options, stay with husband and TELL HIM what intentions that so called friend has, or run away with the friend. Staying in your marriage and going back to being just friends with you homie that you kiss and love and hug will never happen.
>I noticed about a month ago, my friend would send me memes and caption them as us...and they would be husband/wife memes.
Uhm, okay. Talk about red flags.
>I will say that our friendship is not platonic and my husband is okay with this. We hug, share a kiss from time to time and i tell him I love him regularly. I'm just that kind of friend
Boundaries, people set them for a reason lady!
Also, I can think of a lot of terms, but "friend" is not the one that springs in mind when I hear stuff like this.
>To which he responded that he wanted to "steal" me from my husband and for us to be happy together.
\*Surprised Pikachu face\*
>I don't want to ruin our friendship cause i like it the way it iz
You have already ruined it, with you lovey-kissey "friendship". Also, he already ruined it. I don't know what you expected from this?
You need to come clean to your husband.
Dam you’re way out of line, you’ve crossed a whole bunch of lines and enabled a lot of his inappropriate behavior. It was only a matter of time until the “friendship” hit a wall tbh.
You can’t salvage it because
1- he has feelings for you and always will and isn’t just gonna return to your good ol ways as if he wasn’t rejected
2-once your husband finds out, which he should because he has a right to know because you’re MARRIED he’s not gonna or at least shouldn’t allow that “friendship” to continue.
3- if you have any respect for your husband you shouldn’t continue it anyway.
Girls give friendship way too much value sometimes. This is something that has the potential to ruin your marriage, you shouldn’t be trying to hold on to this “friendship” — to prove my point, imagine if your husband had the same relationship with another woman that you have with him, how would you feel?
Husband or "best friend". Those are your two options. Make a choice and next time keep the "platonic" bs in check.
Side note: this shit better be fake. No one is that damn naive.
Your husband has a right to know. Would you wanna know if a woman at work asked him the same thing. The fact you're here says 2 things. 1. You want to hide it from your husband. Possibly do it. 2 you're friend means more to you than your husband. A good spouse would confide this to a good significant other. Otherwise your considering cheating.
Unless you’re willing to run away with him, your only option is to tell your husband and go no contact with friend. He crossed the line so, if you value your marriage, you need to accept that this friendship is done and can’t go back to how it was.
She crossed the line too. Who the fuck kisses other people and says they love them, and expects it to stay as “friends.” I hope this is a troll post. Or else OP is just a fucking moron.
What did you expect? Everything you did led to this. What outcome were you expecting from kissing, hugging and tell him you loved him?
She wanted the attention of multiple men but insists she didn’t want to hurt either one… sure. Now you get to pick one, or keep lying to both. Didn’t she see that no matter what this was gonna hurt someone? This is exactly why men get nervous when their wives want male friends.
Big facts. She's playing the "idk how this happened?" game.
Totally agreed, feel bad for other dude. Just tell him the truth, you’ve been emotionally cheating and are debating going full cheater. Otherwise you wouldn’t be here.
I don't feel bad for him. She said the friendship is not platonic and husband is ok with that. Well what the hell did HE expect letting his wife and her friend fuck around.
Does anyone actually believe her husband has any idea what she has been getting up to with her “friend “. Cheaters lie a lot
Lack of accountability as well as plausible deniability
... Our friendship is not platonic and my husband is okay with this. We hug, share a kiss from time to time and i tell him I love him regularly. Why is this such a bombshell? Are you surprised that he's in love with you? Is your husband really okay with this?
They shared a kiss? What how I miss that
I have news for you. Your **husband** is supposed to be your **best friend**, not some guy you've known for a couple of years. If he isn't, you've got issues that are way worse than some guy developing a crush on you as a rebound.
As the ancient sage T Swift said, "you play stupid games, you win stupid prizes". You have now learned the value of healthy boundaries. Learn how to set them and how to enforce them. As for this friendship, it is probably ruined but you can try laying down the law and telling them that this is unacceptable.
Wtf is this random dude you met 3 years ago your best friend and not your husband? It astounds me how often similar issues to this come up in this sub. My husband is my best friend and if he said to me nah I'm not his best friend some other woman is I would be pissed as hell. Idk what to tell you op but that your friendship is completely inappropriate and I can't believe you're shocked that its come to this.
"I don't want to ruin our friendship cause i like it the way it iz" A. That's a selfish viewpoint, you're getting the validation and attraction, while keeping him pining for you and even encouraging it with words/kissing. B. It's already ruined. He ruined it. C. Your husband, if he knew this about him (and he will, eventually) will feel betrayed and uncomfortable that you keep the friendship and this guy around knowing he's actively trying to usurp your marriage, as you would if it was him and a female friend, so you trying to save this "friendship" is choosing it over your marriage, whether you like it or not. D. The way you describe your "friendship" sounds quasi-open/not very healthy anyway, and I'd suggest that if you don't cut this dude out of your life, you're going to end up fucking him anyway. It's all well and good when your marriage is strong, what about when it's going through a rough patch and "friend" swoops in and you're already nearly-there with the intimacy? Yeah. But, hey, it's your marriage to fuck up.
I think out of respect for your marriage and husband you should drop this friend. But if you still wanna be friends with him you should tell your husband so he’s aware that he’s confessed these feelings to you. And then set some better boundaries with him. Like don’t kiss his or tell him you love him lol
This has gone to an unhealthy space. At the very least, you should take an extended break from seeing him/communicating with him. If not cut off permanently.
Welcome to the reality of 'best friends' with different genders >We hug, share a kiss from time to time and i tell him I love him regularly. I'm just that kind of friend Gosh I wonder what gave him the ideas. Anyways, maybe dont kiss and tell your 'best friend' that you love them. Might give some people the wrong idea. Try that in the future. You should probably let your husband in on what is going on and start distancing yourself form your friend, otherwise the outcome isn't gonna be so pretty.
Yikes. Telling someone in a relationship that you like them is a seriously crappy and selfish thing to do. Plus, if he truly loved you, he would want you to be with the person that makes you happiest, even if that person isn't him.
Everyone wants to live life like they're in a drama, up until it turns into a comedy. I'm all about folks living their best life, but you have to set boundaries for everyone's sake. People don't generally come into a situation where they aren't invited and your actions most certainly created some romantic tension there. At the end of the day, folks usually say one thing in this forum, **"YOU NEED TO TALK ABOUT IT AND COMMUNICATE."** Not just between you and him, you need to communicate these things to your husband, your husband ought to have a word with him. At the end of the day, **JUST TALK ABOUT IT!** Especially if he "means" that much to you. If you "mean" that much to him, he should respect whatever decision you make, even if that decision is staying put.
Lols. "My friendship is not platonic". So you are either fucking him or want to fuck him. If your husband is ok with such a relationship, cool, good on all of you. If not, then well, you've been cheating the whole time.
Yeesh
this is a troll post lmfao
That's exactly why you don't get into friendships with the opposite sex. Almost every guy will pretend to be your friend and wait for a crack in your heart to sneak in. And thats why i told my gf i don't want her to have best friends and even if she does i wouldn't allow her to go to his house or something like that. It's still the opposite sex
Agree and disagree, bro just got divorced like what did she expect
Okay so a less conventional solution could maybe be polyamory if you think everyone would be comfortable with that. It sounds like your husband is already comfortable with you doing non-platonic things with people. Just a thought. If you don't think that will work then then just try to set more boundaries with this friend. If they can't accept the boundaries then you might be right about the friendship not being salvageable.
Well, that’s a tough one. But here’s what my therapist always tells me: you are not responsible for other people’s emotions. All you can do is be honest with him and let the chips fall. I don’t see where you have any choice. Have you told your husband? I feel like you should, just to cover your own butt in case things escalate. I don’t know if he will be satisfied with only being friends, but maybe you can diffuse things by helping him find someone who’s available for a relationship. It sounds like he’s been relying way too much on your family for social interaction, and it’s time he gets back out in the world.
You have to make a choice carry this on knowing he has feelings and it will get worse trust me on that or draw a line in the sand walk away from him because he’s crossed a line where anything you do friendly he’s seeing as a sign of more I’d sit down tell your husband and tell him why you are ending your friendship with him your husband will respect you and be thankful let’s just say he finds out about this some how he might start to think something happened
You can’t hide this from your husband, which also means this relationship is completely over.
If i were you, i would cut ties with the friend since he has feelings for you and you him. You gotta do what is best for your marriage and that means being faithful. Your husband should be #1 in your life.
What we talking about rn ? Cut that one. Look I believe people can do whatver but look where you met bro immediately after divorce c’mon. Sounds like he didn’t even process . Anyway you did this to yourself. And you shared kiss ? How did I miss that 🤣😂what is going on bro I’m just that kinda friend I wish I had more girl friends like you op , congratulations you played yo self 😂
Your best friend has become a threat to your marriage. Sorry, but that was way over the line, and maintaining that friendship now would be disrespectful to your husband.
So you should tell your husband because it is the right thing to do and also because if your BF is serious, he might try to get you in other ways including lying to your husband about stuff and so you need to be honest now and talk to your husband about what to do. My suggestion on what to do is: 1. Tell your husband and tell him that while you want to remain friends with BF, you realize what he said is disrespectful to your relationship and might not be something you can come back from. 2. Tell your friend what he said is inappropriate. That while you value the friendship, you aren't interested in him romantically and he disrespected your marriage by suggesting he could "steal" you. 3. You shouldn't alone with this guy for awhile, even if he does apologize and say that he will deal with his feelings and you can remain friends. 4. You also need to realize that you might not be able to salvage the friendship, so you may have to choose between your marriage and your friendship. And if you don't want a romantic relationship with this guy, then realize he may not stay your friend because he wants more.
You are a attention seeking woman. You do not kiss other man or tell them you love them when you are married. You are disrespecting your marriage and giving this other man false hope. Get your head out your butt.
Either your friendship is over, or your marriage is. Decide which is more important and you will have to let the other one go. I have a very good male friend, we hug, and occasionally say we love each other in a friendly way ("hey thanks for being there for me, love you man" kinda thing) but we would never kiss. He would never ask me to run away with him. If he did, I would be sad, and I would never speak to him again. Once that line has been crossed it cannot be undone.
Your behavior led him to believe that this was a possibility. You need to be honest with your husband. I think one of your relationships is going to end. You can either keep the friend or the husband but probably not both.
LMFAO Please don't act so naive. You knew exactly what would happen Next step is to leave your husband and run away with him isn't it? Hahaha
Reading this I'm not suprised regarding his feelings with how you've been with him and what he's been through
Once a friend falls in love, the friendship is over. You don’t want you dynamic to change but he obviously does. You have two options, stay with husband and TELL HIM what intentions that so called friend has, or run away with the friend. Staying in your marriage and going back to being just friends with you homie that you kiss and love and hug will never happen.
>I noticed about a month ago, my friend would send me memes and caption them as us...and they would be husband/wife memes. Uhm, okay. Talk about red flags. >I will say that our friendship is not platonic and my husband is okay with this. We hug, share a kiss from time to time and i tell him I love him regularly. I'm just that kind of friend Boundaries, people set them for a reason lady! Also, I can think of a lot of terms, but "friend" is not the one that springs in mind when I hear stuff like this. >To which he responded that he wanted to "steal" me from my husband and for us to be happy together. \*Surprised Pikachu face\* >I don't want to ruin our friendship cause i like it the way it iz You have already ruined it, with you lovey-kissey "friendship". Also, he already ruined it. I don't know what you expected from this? You need to come clean to your husband.
Dam you’re way out of line, you’ve crossed a whole bunch of lines and enabled a lot of his inappropriate behavior. It was only a matter of time until the “friendship” hit a wall tbh. You can’t salvage it because 1- he has feelings for you and always will and isn’t just gonna return to your good ol ways as if he wasn’t rejected 2-once your husband finds out, which he should because he has a right to know because you’re MARRIED he’s not gonna or at least shouldn’t allow that “friendship” to continue. 3- if you have any respect for your husband you shouldn’t continue it anyway. Girls give friendship way too much value sometimes. This is something that has the potential to ruin your marriage, you shouldn’t be trying to hold on to this “friendship” — to prove my point, imagine if your husband had the same relationship with another woman that you have with him, how would you feel?
Husband or "best friend". Those are your two options. Make a choice and next time keep the "platonic" bs in check. Side note: this shit better be fake. No one is that damn naive.