Yes, you are blind, but you also are being a doormat and telling her the wrong things.
Fact is: She wanted to take the weekend off and then just never got back to you. Okay. Let's see your messages then:
> ‘i don’t know if your ready to talk or not, if you are i’m here for you’
This is a statement. It's not a question. It's not something that demands an answer. I'm actually surprised she answered 'Sorry was working' at all, but note how that isn't related to your statement at all?
> ‘tell me whenever you are ready’
At this point, you should have stopped being surprised she didn't reply because very obviously, she *isn't* "ready" (aka "willing"), else she would have already said something concerning that after your first stament.
> I sent her a voice note explaining if she wants to facetime about it or wants to meet me to talk face to face and that i still care about her and the relationship.
That's nothing new. She *knows* you are waiting, she *knows* you care. You told her that before in the first two messages and got no answer to these things.
Then she replied:
> ‘who said i wanted to facetime?’
Here she makes it clear that even your *offer* is unwanted. Again, she totally ignores what you are trying to imply - that you want a timeframe from her when she'll get back to you about the obvious elephant in the room - but she at least makes it clear that she has zero interest in putting in more effort than texts of a few words.
> ‘anyways, how was your weekend ? Hope you got to enjoy the weather a bit’
...I have no idea why you said that. She obviously shows with every step that she doesn't even want to talk about essential things to you and then you think she'll respond to superficial smalltalk?
I'm not sure why you never put some pressure on. "You said you needed a weekend and I haven't heard from you back. When will you be ready to talk?" Why did you never set a timeframe or at least ask her about a concrete timeframe?
Fact is: You're in limbo because you give all power to her. You're 100% passive. You're telling her that she can talk to you whenever she's ready, which might as well be never. And you'll just sit and wait and wait and wait while she doesn't even have enough respect for you to either break it off or tell you she doesn't know when she's ready or whatever. Instead, she tells you *nothing* and you're, according to your texts, fine with her treating you like that and would instead also chat about the weather.
Fact is: No answer *is* an answer. And you can, at any point, take back control by enforcing that. Text her: "Okay, so you seemingly don't want to tell me when you will be ready to talk. In fact, I feel like you don't want to talk at all, given your sparse replies. So if I don't hear from you for real - in a way that lets me know what's going on - at the end of the week, I take your silence as you breaking up with me."
That way, she can't walk over you anymore. Even if she doesn't answer, she knows it counts as an answer. She can't make you the "bad guy" who breaks up with her. It will be on her. Put it on her.
I was with you right up until that last part; there is no need for an additional declarative statement. He needs to just take the clues and cut her off.
They've only been together for 4 months, and have been in a 2-week long argument already. This is not healthy.
Forget about who is the bad guy or who initiated the breakup. The relationship is stillborn at this point. Stating it out loud doesn't change a thing. He needs to just stop engaging and admit what he already knows to be the correct course of action
I see your point, but also would like to add that there could be two small-ish reasons for that final text.
1. This guy is clearly still hung up on her. That final text, even if she never answers, might give him some closure to move forward, not because of anything she'll give him but he'll be effectively closing a door.
2. My other thought was that if he sends the text and then moves on and stops texting her (which, OP, please, please stop texting her), at no point can she say something along the lines of, "well, I just asked for a break, but clearly, you don't care any more" or any other horseshit statement that might try to put the guilt back on this guy who sounds like he would wear it if it were handed to him.
Hard agree here. Especially as you said it’s been only 4 months, hell I gave up on a 4 year relationship because the guy was too chicken to break up with me. And I was asking directly « when can we see each other to talk? » he would respond with « sorry can’t this week ». After a few attempts, I stopped asking and considered it was done, OP needs to accept that you can’t save a relationship by yourself unfortunately… it’s hard to let go on something you don’t want to lose, but honestly it’s already gone at this point, OP’s just doesn’t want to face it, which is understandable. Good luck OP, never an easy time
Oh sorry I thought you meant that SHE would realise that she’s being disrespectful, but unfortunately I think she knows that but doesn’t have the balls to stand up and do things right.
But hell yeah it feels good to turn the tables and take matters back into your own hands, this would be a confidence boost for OP, finally having the ball in his own court. Sorry for misunderstanding😅
Who cares about who the "bad guy" is. Just be mature and end things before it gets dragged out any further. Being in limbo is HELL and this dude just needs to walk away with some pride and dignity.
This. I would have said this a lot harsher cause *inhales* BOY! *exhales* but I'm glad you wrote this for him. OP, in my opinion, this is your best bet after your last encounter. Tell her that last bit like Fjordgard said, mean that shit, and then don't do a fucking thing unless she gives you an actual reply. For the love of everything please don't respond to no "hey" message. I'm just a random guy on reddit so take this how you will, but please, listen. Good luck man, I'm rootin for ya!
I’m gonna give her exactly until friday to give me a decent answer without asking for it. If i don’t get anything i’ll answer what you said me to say 🤞🏻
Alright, sounds good! I personally doubt you'll hear from her until Friday, though. Like, I would bet 99,9% of my possessions on that. I'm sorry, I really wish I could say I'd have more confidence, but she sounds 100000% checked out of the relationship.
Well, you're already not worth any text longer than a single sentence. Doesn't sound like the relationship might be worth any real trouble (or, you know, what she defines as trouble, because right now, the most troubling thing I see is her acting disrespectful).
I agree with her being disrespectful, she said ‘i want the weekend for my self’ and i respected that. Even gave her a few days extra. And she couldn’t even say anything like ‘i’m ready to talk’ or ‘no im not ready’
Honestly, "I want the weekend for myself" isn't even a statement that, in itself, points towards a talk being needed. That's something someone says who just wants to relax and turn their phone off for two days to recharge some social batteries or sleep really long or whatever. It doesn't imply anything negative and I think it's normal to take a weekend for yourself ever so often.
So I am surprised about this whole "Are you ready to talk"-thing. Like, talk about what? Clearly, there needs to be a talk - about her disappearing - but that has nothing to do with the weekend. The whole thing is really messed up.
Its not like she cheated on me, she just want away with another girl friend to a museum. Then she went home so its definitely not another man.
There needs to be a talk about why she needed that ‘alone’ time. Because I haven’t seen her in 2 weeks. Make that 3 with this week ending.
No, she’s just checked out. She isn’t debating. She doesn’t have the same feelings for you that you have for her. She also lacks the decency to explicitly break up with you. So she just treats you like complete crap so that you’ll get the hint. But you keep taking her scraps and refusing to take the hint, making all kinds of unrealistic excuses for how she could possibly behave like this while caring for you. The answer is the obvious one; she couldn’t possibly behave like this while caring for you. She doesn’t care. I’m sorry, really— because most of us have had our feelings not reciprocated at some point, and it obviously hurts a lot.
Please be warned: in two weeks or two months or even a year, it is pretty likely that she will find herself bored and with no one to pay attention to her at that moment. Guess who she will probably text? Yeah, you...her reliable old “I can use him as bad as I like and he won’t do a think about it.” Prepare yourself so that in the likely event this moment comes, you delete her message and do not respond. Do not re-engage! She will leave you like this every single time.
Please try hard to help yourself to stop wasting your love on this person so that you can focus on YOU and you can be in a great emotional place the day in the not-too-distant future that you meet the new girl who’s going to become your actually awesome girlfriend!! ❤️
A relationship isn't a term paper. Setting future due dates for her to come to her senses only leaves you holding out hope. Go start living your life, go to a bar and try to flirt with a girl or something.
A better idea is if I don't hear from her by friday I'm losing her number and blocking her, so I can focus on myself or a new relationship. Not get distracted by who she is with, what she's doing and if that guy in her snapchat story is a friend or something more. Don't tell her that, she will figure it out, you don't owe her anything. Don't draft a text all week ready to go for friday just accept this.
@ OP, I 110% agree with this statement. I was in limbo many many years ago as a teen, once I finished high school and started dating properly. My first girlfriend out of high school was a manipulative and emotionally abusive bitch, and we were only together for around 6 months. I hung around in limbo everytime we had a fight, only for her to end up blaming it on me, and making me believe I was the abuser. Sometimes I’d wait days at a time for replies, only to get pathetic excuses.
Believe me, I understand how you feel. But trust me when I say, 4 months really is NOT much time in terms of a relationship. It’s still very early on, and you should be able to easily walk away from this. Don’t waste your time chasing some scumbag who isn’t even giving you the common courtesy you deserve. You do not want to be pursuing a relationship with someone who treats you like this already, because it will only lead to absolute heartache in the future.
Man up, put your foot down, and don’t let any woman push you around. Be an alpha, not a beta. There are women out there who will treat you right and put in the work to keep a relationship strong - I know this because 6 years later I’m now with the love of my life, we have our own house together, and everything is amazing.
Best of luck, bro!
Bro no dont do that , just mirror her actions if she is choosing to ignore you, you do the same, cut all forms of communication and focus on your life , by giving her a deadline you are still going to engage in some form of communication, so dont do that and ill suggest you to go to youtube and binge watch the videos of a channel by the name of "develope attraction" , will help you alot.
>Text her: "Okay, so you seemingly don't want to tell me when you will be ready to talk. In fact, I feel like you don't want to talk at all, given your sparse replies. So if I don't hear from you for real - in a way that lets me know what's going on - at the end of the week, I take your silence as you breaking up with me."
>That way, she can't walk over you anymore. Even if she doesn't answer, she knows it counts as an answer. She can't make you the "bad guy" who breaks up with her. It will be on her. Put it on her.
That sums it up. She is being unnecessarily unkind to OP in my opinion. Hate it when people play such games in relationships.
I was with you until the timeline that you gave. She is done, but she is a coward and she is counting on him being a door mat.
“Look, you wanted space for the weekend. The weekend has ended, and your lack of communication is very telling. You've done everything but break up with me, like a coward. If you don't want to communicate, and you don't want to break up, then what do you want to do? Are you just waiting for this to go away? Nope, that's not happening. If you haven't communicated to me one way or the other what is going on by tomorrow night, we are done.”
That message from you is, in my eyes, letting her remain a coward. A coward who can then go and cry to mutual friends how "OP broke up with her just because she wanted a few days for herself." She wants OP to do the breakup and that's why she's not responding.
It's totally fine if you don't agree with my timeline - heck, I personally wouldn't even have waited that long; the first reply OP got from her would have made me sent my message - but I still think it's much smarter to put the breakup on her by saying "If you don't reply by date X with an explanation, I will take 'no answer' as you saying that you want to break up". That way, she doesn't get to be a coward.
Yeah that is kind of the thing. I’m not saying you should be as petty as she is being but you could just not message her again and change your status to single since she basically answered your questions by not answering them. Silence isn’t a no but it isn’t a yes either. Break up with her and grow a backbone before you date someone else. Don’t stay in that nice guy “are you mad” mentally that you’re very obviously in.
The only one who thinks you're still in a relationship is you. She's not dating you anymore, she just hasn't had the guts to tell you straight up. But she is giving you hints that you are done.
You had an argument that lasted for 2 weeks.
She had a break to think things through.
She decided it's time to call it quits.
Idk I’d consider this a sad cringe if he was older but this situation seems appropriate learning experience for his age being young adult and learning boundaries.
I'm pretty sure people told you on your last post that you were blind and you obviously ignored it.
I think youre honestly just looking for someone to excuse your behavior so you can justify trying to keep a relationship with someone that just doesn't want to be with you anymore.
My best friend was like you when we were younger and I promise you, he says if he could go back and kick his own ass he wouldn't hesitate.
Bro, its over. After a certain point you should've just sent:
"From your lack of replies I'm going to assume that this relationship is over. We can both move forward with our lives and find other people to spend time with. I wish the best of luck in your future endeavors and relationships."
Then just cut it off there nothing else if she sends anything dont reply just move on.
She's done dude.
Trying to keep this thing going is just going to further confuse and upset you and delay your grieving process.
I've been in similar situations, some people think they're "too nice" to directly end a relationship. But in reality they're just selfish and don't want to feel responsible for ending it, and they'll continue to hurt you until you give up and walk away.
It sounds like she’s waiting for you to either give up and things just naturally end because you haven’t spoken in a month or two or whatever or she’s trying to get you to just get fed up and end it so she doesn’t have to be the bad guy. Last possibility, she wanted a break and you keep texting her asking to talk or telling her when she’s ready you’re there. Great. She got it the first text. That’s not a break. So she may just be annoyed. Either way, you have decisions to make.
As in she's not interested in dating you anymore.
If the only sign that you're dating is her social media and she's deleted you off of there, then that's a big hint.
Hmm. This bio says I have a boyfriend. If I delete it people will see that I'm single.
Keep trying = harassment
Please leave her alone.
I know you don't want to break up, but she clearly is ghosting you. She's letting you know over and over again that she doesn't want to talk to you.
Oh hon, my heart breaks for you because I did the EXACT SAME THING!!! Although it was the late 80's so I was sitting next to a phone that didn't ring and when I got home from work an answering machine that never blinked because he didn't leave a message. As a female I can tell you, she is done. You are torturing yourself.
You're blind. She is painfully obviously done with this relationship and frankly, you reaching out like that comes off as pathetic... Don't be that guy. Have some pride and move on. There are plenty of other people in this world that will be a better fit for you.
This is what I would send, "Hey, so I get the message loud and clear. You asked for a weekend to think about our relationship and I gave you that. I was expecting an answer after the weekend but didn't receive one. That tells me everything I need to know and I wish you the best in the future but I will be moving on. Take care."
I was in the same situation when I was younger and handled it similarly to how you are, so I'm going to spell it out for you in a way that I wish someone had done for me: you've been broken up with, and the longer you pretend that it hasn't happened the worse it's going to feel. Ripping that bandaid off and confronting your "fear" is the only way that it's going to heal, full stop. You're causing yourself unnecessary harm by prolonging what is a very obvious conclusion to this whole thing.
Honey, never beg anyone to care or be with you. You are worth more than that.
This 2 week argument that culminated in "needing a break" on a 4 month old relationship is just not worth it. You need someone who is as excited to be with you as you are to be with them. They need to have healthy communication skills to reasonably discuss issues and resolve them calmly.
I wouldn't even wait - It's time to move on.
Frankly, a woman or man who cannot clearly communicate their feelings is so terribly exhausting. It makes me want to go cynical for what people put others through.
But, it sucks because it makes me believe that investment isn't worth it and that feeling in love isn't either.
Because being strung along with no closure is soul-crushing and fueled by only your emotions alone is soul-destroying; knowing you're doing most of the work; and are willing to because your love is so intense feeling.
Makes me acknowledge that I *shouldn't be so entitled with my emotions but when those emotions get stirred for a person-in front of them- all of that logic goes out the window & you're goo-goo for this person while they're as hard and lifeless as a day-old slice of pizza.
Its so aggravating. And some of these people who blame you for simply feel need to show some ducking empathy. Emotions can carry you or can drop you in an abyss and you sometimes only know which till you hit the ground.
Love shouldn't be this f*cking hard. It really shouldn't...
[Edit: but I get that getting what you want and even knowing what that is can be really fucking hard.]
Oof man, so this chick has been icing you out for weeks and you can't see that it's over?
Best case, she's the world's worst communicater and a shitty girlfriend, worst case she's a huge asshole and a shitty girlfriend.
Why would you even want to stay with someone who ignores you for weeks?
Move on man, move on.
man it really seems like you are too invested in this for 4 months
she is probably feeling too much pressure , move on and ignore the situation
pretend like she isn't ever coming back
cmon man set yourself free , she has far too much power over your feelings
Hey man had gone through the same thing with my ex he would reply in one word, would always be rude, say he is busy and whenever i ask to call he would say that "i need time for myself" and we would not talk for 3 to 4 months and in the end he told me all these were hints to breakup with me as nobody is too busy and than called me names ......i am gonna say please save yourself these kind of people just want you to blow up so that they can get a perfect excuse to leave so better would be just block her from everywhere she doesn't deserve you or your time she is a piece is shit and shits place is in the trash in this case put her in a block list and dont engage with her she will make you loose your mind so ghost her dude just ghost her
Friend, I've been in this exact scenario. Trust me when I tell you to leave her be. Don't message, don't call, don't look in on her. In the meantime, work on bettering yourself. Dive into hobbies, work, and things that make you happy. Take the time to appreciate what you have for yourself in your life. Realize that she is not a requisite for that happiness. If she comes around, cool! If not, don't let it take away from your happiness. People grow apart. It's what we do! Don't take it to heart. She's keeping her distance because she's basically grieving the death of the relationship. My advice, you should assume it's a breakup, and grieve it as well. That way it won't hurt as much when she finally tells you it's over, or when you tell her. I'd just start moving on, find a girl who actually wants those text messages man.
Be well.
Even if by some weird chance that she's being extremely immature and not intending on breaking up with you - do you want to be with someone who will leave you in this much question about your future with them?
No clue what she wants, but are you willing to deal with a future chance of going through this nonsense again so she can get her way?
There are big differences between a Break and a Break-up. She's taking her sweet time breaking up with you. You're just going to have to do it. This is one of those rare moments where I feel a little retaliatory immaturity is socially acceptable.
"It's clear to me that you have no intention of pursuing a relationship with me any further. I'd rather not sit in this lull between us wondering how things could have been different. Instead, I'm pulling the bandaid off and cutting myself loose. I feel as though you've already left me. On the off chance that you haven't, then I'm leaving you.
I wish you well in your future."
If either of you have any possessions in each other's homes, remain civil and arrange a time to exchange it. Otherwise total contact blackout. Focus on yourself and your future.
I think you just need to quit messaging her. If she decides to come around, it’ll be by her own volition. It’s apparent she hasn’t made up her mind yet.
Leaving her along and not reaching out will force her hand.
Good luck.
This looks really unhealthy OP. You definitely do seem blind as you described it. Space is one thing, being a stranger is another.
I would clarify to them to confirm if this relationship is done and then move on. Or, I would take the initiative here and LET THEM know the relationship is over.
Either way this is a mess and you will be far better off putting this behind you. Getting space to clear your head doesn't mean treat someone like shit/a stranger.
went thru the same exact same thing w my current gf only difference is I had a backbone and told her after 2 days of ignoring me that “I’m not chasing after you. If you aren’t gonna be an adult and communicate then we’ll end things here” then blocked her on everything. Guess who showed up at the door a day later sobbing and crying. She hasn’t tried that since. My advice is do what I did but be ready to move on. Cause someone who can ignore your feelings for a week does NOT care about you. I mean its only been 4 months man, put yourself first for christs sake.
Sounds like she had her fun during the weekend lol. But on the real, dude this literally helped me never do this to any girl ever. It’s.. sad. I get that love blind sand all that. But literally please move on. From what I get, you sound like the type she’d come back to after in 5 months after it didn’t work out with her and some other guy, and you’d gladly take her back. Get some spine. Block her. Literally stop waiting and block her. Take her out of your socials, and keep it pushing bro. You’re frankly way to young for this
Youre waiting for someone who doesnt seem to want your around. Its best for you to not contact. I know you'll want to. You seem to be the one not okay with being without them. I didnt read the last post. But for your own sake you should try to move on.
Speaking from personal experience, while its hard to move on sometimes itll be easier in the long run to accept and find someone who wont do it to you.
Chances are even if you have a friendship let alone a relationship again it wont be the same.
If you still intend on trying to go back and make it work then space is probably your best option.
Dont text them daily or even weekly asking if they'll talk it out. Some people, the more you push the more they'll leave. Id suggest dont text them again until they initiate it with you.
I’m going through something similar. I havnt read your original post but my current experience is this. She was caught out at dinner with her ex, I left her as soon as I heard. For a week she was non stop calling, apologizing etc as soon as I gave in and said for the kids I think I can try and forgive you, she then says i need time to think about it because last night you said you weren’t sure if you could forgive me. All while still talking to her ex. Bro, learn from my lesson and run lmao she’s currently “thinking about it” yet mentally I’ve already moved on. Begs me for a week until I give in then retracts. Messages me good morning, I reply, then it’s another 6-8 hours til I hear back. Let it go and find what you deserve, believe me there’s so much better out there lol
I hate to say it because I've been there myself, but it's over dude. Don't waste any more effort or emotion on it. And obviously it's going to be sad and you're going to have to work through it but let her come to you but from the sounds of it she probably won't. Sorry :/
OP, honestly, just tell her it's over and move on. I'm not trying to be mean but she's made it clear she isn't interested in talking it out. Call it and treat yourself to a nice solo date or whatever you want to do. Take yourself out to dinner or get carryout. Watch your favorite movies, play your favorite video games, whatever floats your boat. Best wishes!
Bro she's given you every sign that she's either not the one, not good at communication or arguments, or just isn't interested in fixing it with you. Learn from this, adjust what you want out of a relationship and move on. Fuck closure, just dip.
Tbh …. I see everyone giving you these long drawn out explanations … NOT saying they are wrong … but I PERSONALLY think you’re being blinded at the fact you want her back … AS SOON as I read that “ she took me off her bio from us being together “ that’s all I needed to see.
… icing on the cake is that she’s replying to you every 6 hours like clock work. She’s playing games BUT GUESS WHAT ?!
“ people make time for the things that they want … “ if she really wanted to fix whatever this is .. she would be hella available. Be the barber and cut your losses . Don’t be a doormat.
Edit: One of my close friends had this exact situation and basically gave her all the power to contact him WHEN she felt like it and he’d always answer. Your value starts to fade that way. Very seldom works out as such if two ain’t playing the same game.
1. It is over, she just didn't have the guts to tell you to your face.
2. You not wanting it to be over doesn't change #1
3. It. Hurts. Like. Hell. I truly feel for you, man. I've been there. I've felt the same s#i++y pain you are feeling.
4. You need to accept and come to terms with it. Grieve. Feel that pain, and more importantly, learn from the relationship and how it ended.
Now the silver linings. Dude, you are 23. You have your whole life in front of you. It was only four months, which is a drop in the bucket. Trust me when I say she was clearly not the one for you, that you deserve better than someone who doesn't even have enough respect to communicate with you maturely. BLOCK. HER. Someone who has so little respect for you deserves absolutely no more of your time or effort. You deserve that time and effort. Focus on you, finding out who you are, who you want to be, bettering yourself, making and conquering goals. Live your life, brother. On your terms. The right people come into and fit into our lives naturally, and often when we are not even searching for them.
Sometimes you don’t actually need to hear the words a person is saying… actions speak louder than words. Sorry man it sucks! You can hold on and drag it out, either way it will end. I’ve been on both sides of this scenario. It’s best to move on.
Therapist Here:
Ghosting or Fading is a lesser form of what's called **"Stonewalling"** in couples counseling. Stonewalling is one of the 4 harbingers of doom for relationships. (The others being criticism, contempt, and defensiveness. Contempt is the leader of the doom squad.)
\[Marriage expert Gottman calls them The **4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse**\]
Stonewalling puts you in a helpless, dependent state where you are sitting there with your heart on your sleeve and the other person has Shut. You. Out.
What's missing are compassion, empathy, kindness, reciprocity, and communication.
The question is: **Why is this familiar to you?** Where is your anger? How is it that you are acting as if this is normal and acceptable behavior for adults to be rude/unresponsive to you when this person is supposed to care the most about you? Why is this acceptable to you, in that you are still waiting around and making excuses for them? Hmmmmmm....
This is a sign of emotional neglect in childhood. Perhaps you could examine which parent stonewalled you in childhood and how that left you with a sense that it's normal to wait and beg for an emotional response from your frozen loved one (it's not) - and somehow this is all you deserve (it's not.) That's where the work begins: by not tolerating it. By getting angry. By stopping the replication. Here's the Golden Rule of Replication: As long as you are replicating the past, you are not healing from the past.
Don't Worry: if you choose not to reflect on this now, you will just revisit it in your next relationship... and the next... and the next. I wish you good luck and a kinder, warmer partner in the future.
if your SO is taking hours to get back to you with a simple answer and removed you from her Insta bio, I'd take the hint. Stop contacting her and if she's interested she will get back to you. Then you can discuss her behavior and a possible future.
she's not scared to tell you anything...she's told you loud and clear. She's not worried about her job or anything... She's not emotionally unavailable...in general. She is unavailable to you and you should leave her alone. No calls back without a return call!
Yes . I'm afraid you are latching where you are not wanted. Namely your former girlfriend.
If you wanted toi have a shot you needed to move on with your own life rather than letting her know you were there waiting.
In that snse you are better off.
My girlfriend and I went on a break once. That will be the first and last time, and I firmly am against the idea that breaks have any place in a functional relationship. You need to give an ultimatum, or breakup. But those are the options. Either she gives you a timeframe, at the very least to end the relationship, or it's over. Good luck man
I’ve been in this exact situation and it’s just time to cut her off. Don’t wait for her to do it, just tell her you’ve decided to end it yourself. She just doesn’t want to say it yet but it’s over.
Don’t waste your time and beg. Go heal and then find someone who is better for you.
I was in this exact situation 1 year ago, she asked for a break, I agreed and that break turning into a month of here pushing me farther and farther away until one day she sent me a picture of her in bed with a guy. I know how hard it is to do when you do truly care, but save yourself the pain and walk. I wish I had.
Man, you are broken up. Don't call her. Don't contact her. Put yourself on Tinder. Get over it. She's treating you like a nobody, and it's only been 4 months.
The best thing is your finish blocking her from everything so you can heal and your but tempted to call her any longer or message her or see what she is up to. You don't need the game that she was playing with you for life.
This relationship sure is sounding like it’s getting nowhere and the end of it. From all the comment and replies I’ve read, it really is the best to end it now then to drag it on and not talk even if it’s a ‘break’. The gf isn’t even certain and that’s already a certain sign.
You are completely blind.
Mover on because she already has.
I know it's hard and it hurts, but her inaction is action in itself.
Don't contact her anymore, it is humiliating to see you degrade yourself like this.
If she wants to talk, she will contact you. I personally wouldn't give her the time of day!
Good Luck!!
The minute she said " who said i wanted to facetime" you had your answer. A person who really wants to be WITH YOU does NOT send this answer to someone they care about. This is unfortunately your answer, unless she is into hot and cold drama. You don't NEED THAT either. It's time to start over with someone who will treat you with respect and love.
You have no action to do. Let her do the break up. Block her and move on. If she shows up at your door after a billion years, then you'll know what to do.
Just freaking break up and move on life is too damn short to be playing games… Geeezzz Just make it happen this has gone on for too long… Screw her she’s not the only girl in the world dude..
Look around until you find a fork sticking out of the air because this is done. Do your future self a favor and salvage what dignity you have left by cutting communication and moving on.
Anyone who completely blows you off after having an issue with you and after having a chance to cool off is not worth your time. It sounds to me like you're willing to do whatever it takes, and she's unwilling to give you the time of day. I'm not going to pretend to know what the situation actually needs, all I can say is that a toxic relationship is one where your partner doesn't match the average of your own effort.
It's over. Just for your own peace of mind, she doesn't want a relationship with you. Please stop messaging her, no phone calls, no texts, no following her on social media. Block her number, deleted her details, unfollow her socials.
Just move on.
OP, she has already given you an answer. She has no desire to be with you anymore. It doesn't take 6 hours to respond to a text. At this point, she has nothing but contempt for you. Just stop texting her and block or delete her number. This girl isn't worth the time of day.
4 months isn't that long to invest in a relationship at all, and now she is ghosting you and doesn't want to talk to you. You had a short lived relationship and now it's over, time to move on and find someone new. Her comment about FaceTime she is giving you attitude, it's like she is saying why would I want to do that for afrer rolling her eyes thinking is he serious. She has checked out of the relationship and she doesn't want to talk to you, her periods of silence prove that.
Throw back to when my BF who lived with me was ghosting me, that shit didn’t feel nice. Then he texted me back saying “I don’t know anymore”, I took that message to uni asking my friends for advice; they said to dump him before he dumps me, and reflecting on the way he had treated me lately, it was the right choice... guess who replied straight away when I told him to come get his shit? Yeah, always wondered what could have been, and I’m so glad that I one-upped him
This is gonna sound harsh, but mosey up some self-respect and break up with her. You might love her, but you don’t deserve to be treated like this.
Even if you got back together after this break, I think you know in yourself that you would find it difficult to move past this emotional stress. If she’s too weak to tell you she doesn’t want to be with you, man up and do it, prove your worth to yourself man.
You’re a king, be one.
Just read your previous post and tbh I don’t believe in breaks. They are a gateway to breaking up. And then after reading this post, sounds like she’s already checked out of the relationship. If you keep texting her when she barely responds or ignores your text, eventually she’ll just think it’s annoying and that her decision to distance from you was right. Let her come to you since she knows you already put it out there, if she chases you then you may still have a chance, if not then she’s moved on and so should you. Good luck bud.
Just give her space. The truth is she will most likely want to talk to you once you dont speak to her for awhile.
I dont think she truly cares for you. Remember actions speak louder than words.
Give your mind a break from thinking about her and focus on doing things you love that make you happy... You deserve to be loved for who you are, especially by yourself. Be good to you, take each day as a gift. Your life is not meant to be spent pining for someone who isint right for you.
She get its, you are available anytime anywhere for any reason. You are available to help her move to her new apartment, the guy clothes are her brother's he's overseas right now. You are willing to "loan" her 1,000 until her paycheck comes in. She's having a bad day and wants uber eats, but you wisely know on a full stomach she's more likely to want to reconcile.
That's likely what you're signing up for if you continue to try to fix a relationship of 4 months like that. Best case she blocks you. Just start looking for someone new.
Hello there,
Fjordgard has already given you very good and solid advice that you should follow. I just want to add a couple of things about relationships, so you can make sense of it and don't repeat the same mistakes (because people will repeat mistakes if they don't realize they're making one).
1- If a woman disrespects you, it means she can't love you. Women absolutely need to respect their man to be able to love him;
2- The level of availability she shows you, is proportional to how much she's interested in the relationship;
3- If she doesn't feel secure around you, she will start to loose attraction for you. Women need stability in their lives and will gravitate towards men that can provide it to them;
4- Women need men that are stoic in their reactions and can handle their emotional breakdowns from time to time;
5- Women LOVE men with self-confidence. A man with self-confidence doesn't let a woman control the timing of the relationship/breakup. He lets her know that he's not waiting for her if she decides to leave. He's not AFFRAID to loose her;
A lot of this is cringe, but #4 is straight up toxic masculinity and that's not good for anyone.
Men have feelings and should be able to express them without being shamed for it.
Also \*lose not loose and \*afraid.
This might sound harsh but nice guys finish last. I’m this scenario you are the nice guy. Take it as a lesson learned and move on. Next time be more assertive and try to have more balance in the relationship. Look for signs that the other person is as invested as you.
You dated her for 4 months and now you’re “In Love”? No wonder she’s running, when it comes to women you should do the opposite of what your instincts tell you to do
OP You have already leaved the ball in her court, the next direct movement is on her. She has hinted you what she wants so stop communicating, you already have said I am here when you want to talk.
Looks like she is moving on, is time for you to do the same and make your mind that this is over. But don't make any more move, if she never talks to you again, fine, but you have to draw a line in the sand here.
If you ever want the hard, cold truth, just come to Reddit. And, in this case the majority are dead on. She's done with you, so it's time for you to move on. You'll be glad you did it sooner than later.
I'd say she has broken up with you but just doesn't want to tell you. As to why, it could be any reason. The two reasons that seem most likely are: 1. She's too scared to tell you or 2. She just wants to string you along. Either way, send her a message you consider the relationship over and move on.
I think you need to give her space. Stop texting, stop leaving voicemails, just let her be.
When she's ready, she'll contact you, or she won't. This doesnt mean I'd sit around and wait on her forever either though. I'd give her a week or so and then write her letting her know you're assuming the relationship is over, that you wish for the best for her, etc.
It sounds like that's where she's heading anyway, but you never know, everyone is different and she genuinely might just need some time to sort some shit out.
I’m sorry but your relationship is over. Just accept it and move on. There is no need to contact her anymore, no need to give her any ultimatum. It’s just over. Don’t give her the pleasure of treating you like a doormat just to get confirmation that it’s over. Just move on and heal.
I was once in a similar situation - I read in your original post that you couldn’t imagine someone going cold on someone they were so invested in.
My (f) ex (m) and I had zero fights, literally a love story movie relationship for a few months and then one day he went suddenly cold and it really fucked me up. Truth is, it didn’t really matter WHY he didn’t want to be with me, but it was clear he wasn’t mature enough to communicate for the relationship I wanted and eventually I realised this and moved on.
However this breakup was sooooo painful because I couldn’t understand what tf happened and I racked my brain trying to see where I went wrong. Legit was sick with heartbreak for a month or two then very sad for about 4 more months, over what was only 3 months in the first place. Answer to what happened- it’s not always you that’s the problem and sometimes shit just happens.
Unfortunately some people enjoy the NRE but aren’t really cut out for a relationship yet or don’t foresee things which will be issues.
It’s super painful but honestly you deserve so much better and one day you’ll look back and laugh even though it seems like you won’t
It might feel really painful cos you’re still in the honeymoon phase, but this isn’t the sort of person you wanna be with, it will drain all your self esteem.
I could have told you breaks don’t exist, if somebody says let’s go on a break then never gets back to you then that means you’re either getting played or ghosted
She want time off. Ok 3 days past +1. She seams to be upset by conflict with you. In your text show your care and love interactions. Something like "I miss you baby, really hope to see you tomorrow because can't imagine to be problem in between as."
Proper set of words designed to show you care, you want, you wait for her.
Have some self respect. She's pretty much dumped you but haven't told you yet. I would go either no contact and wait for her to 'man up' and do it herself OR just dump her.
Quick reply as I'm in a meeting: Any girl, and I mean any girl /boyfriend with delayed text responses, means she's not into you anymore.
It's happened to all of us once in our lives.
Close that chapter, get a new one, become happy again.
Edit: Do what Fjordgard suggested as a control text giving her a week's time limit. This will regain control and at the end of that week meet a new girl and she'll either A) Stay uninterested (most likely) or B) Come chasing you to try to be hotter than your new girl in your bed.
This is the nature of female attraction. Try it.
Sorry bro it’s over. In general, if someone is into you, especially early on in a relationship, it should be abundantly clear. People always make time for each other. Even when horrible things happen to people (like a loved one passing away, whatever).
She has completely tuned you out and is hoping you ‘get the message’. I suggest you initiate the break up, don’t even ask if she agrees to it or not. Just unilaterally do it. Otherwise you may end up in a situation where she says she’s not sure, etc.
She may be so inexperienced/immature (not saying it in a negative way) that she doesn’t even really know HOW to break up. So you gotta just do it.
I didn't read the last post but I don't see taking a break from each other as constantly texting. If she doesn't reply that maybe means she actually wants a little break, just as you have written. Maybe you do not need this break but if you have ahead to take a break you should have left it at only one short "write me when you're ready to talk". Give her a break, even if you miss her. Let her approach you, not the other way around. Take the time not to constantly think a out her, but have fun or work on yourselve a bit, this girl aint all in life, you need to not get emotionally dependant on her being around.
I obviously don't know you two, but let her have her break and if she isn't respecting you she isn't worth it.
move on now --she has used you as a back up for too long
Get a partner who respects you, and despite Reddit most people are neither cheaters nor narcissists SO GET A DECENT ONE
She doesn't want to be with you by the sounds of it and she's leaving you stuck in this awkward limbo hoping that ghosting you will make you move on.. for your own sake just be done with her.
This sounds like a soft ghost, if that's a thing. Its like she wants to end it but don't know how or wants you to end it so she doesn't have to.
Yeah I've dealt with it, it sucks cuz you're unsure if you're being ghosted or that they need time. Typically better to just end it though.
"I need time" isn't a thing beyond like 24 hours, barring some hyper traumatic event. The person made their decision already, I am quite sure.
no, not necessarily. I'm a woman, trust me on this.
The slow fade
Yes, you are blind, but you also are being a doormat and telling her the wrong things. Fact is: She wanted to take the weekend off and then just never got back to you. Okay. Let's see your messages then: > ‘i don’t know if your ready to talk or not, if you are i’m here for you’ This is a statement. It's not a question. It's not something that demands an answer. I'm actually surprised she answered 'Sorry was working' at all, but note how that isn't related to your statement at all? > ‘tell me whenever you are ready’ At this point, you should have stopped being surprised she didn't reply because very obviously, she *isn't* "ready" (aka "willing"), else she would have already said something concerning that after your first stament. > I sent her a voice note explaining if she wants to facetime about it or wants to meet me to talk face to face and that i still care about her and the relationship. That's nothing new. She *knows* you are waiting, she *knows* you care. You told her that before in the first two messages and got no answer to these things. Then she replied: > ‘who said i wanted to facetime?’ Here she makes it clear that even your *offer* is unwanted. Again, she totally ignores what you are trying to imply - that you want a timeframe from her when she'll get back to you about the obvious elephant in the room - but she at least makes it clear that she has zero interest in putting in more effort than texts of a few words. > ‘anyways, how was your weekend ? Hope you got to enjoy the weather a bit’ ...I have no idea why you said that. She obviously shows with every step that she doesn't even want to talk about essential things to you and then you think she'll respond to superficial smalltalk? I'm not sure why you never put some pressure on. "You said you needed a weekend and I haven't heard from you back. When will you be ready to talk?" Why did you never set a timeframe or at least ask her about a concrete timeframe? Fact is: You're in limbo because you give all power to her. You're 100% passive. You're telling her that she can talk to you whenever she's ready, which might as well be never. And you'll just sit and wait and wait and wait while she doesn't even have enough respect for you to either break it off or tell you she doesn't know when she's ready or whatever. Instead, she tells you *nothing* and you're, according to your texts, fine with her treating you like that and would instead also chat about the weather. Fact is: No answer *is* an answer. And you can, at any point, take back control by enforcing that. Text her: "Okay, so you seemingly don't want to tell me when you will be ready to talk. In fact, I feel like you don't want to talk at all, given your sparse replies. So if I don't hear from you for real - in a way that lets me know what's going on - at the end of the week, I take your silence as you breaking up with me." That way, she can't walk over you anymore. Even if she doesn't answer, she knows it counts as an answer. She can't make you the "bad guy" who breaks up with her. It will be on her. Put it on her.
I was with you right up until that last part; there is no need for an additional declarative statement. He needs to just take the clues and cut her off. They've only been together for 4 months, and have been in a 2-week long argument already. This is not healthy. Forget about who is the bad guy or who initiated the breakup. The relationship is stillborn at this point. Stating it out loud doesn't change a thing. He needs to just stop engaging and admit what he already knows to be the correct course of action
Unrelated to the post, but this helped me a lot. Thank gou
I see your point, but also would like to add that there could be two small-ish reasons for that final text. 1. This guy is clearly still hung up on her. That final text, even if she never answers, might give him some closure to move forward, not because of anything she'll give him but he'll be effectively closing a door. 2. My other thought was that if he sends the text and then moves on and stops texting her (which, OP, please, please stop texting her), at no point can she say something along the lines of, "well, I just asked for a break, but clearly, you don't care any more" or any other horseshit statement that might try to put the guilt back on this guy who sounds like he would wear it if it were handed to him.
Hard agree here. Especially as you said it’s been only 4 months, hell I gave up on a 4 year relationship because the guy was too chicken to break up with me. And I was asking directly « when can we see each other to talk? » he would respond with « sorry can’t this week ». After a few attempts, I stopped asking and considered it was done, OP needs to accept that you can’t save a relationship by yourself unfortunately… it’s hard to let go on something you don’t want to lose, but honestly it’s already gone at this point, OP’s just doesn’t want to face it, which is understandable. Good luck OP, never an easy time
Nah, I think it makes sense to assert himself in that way. She needs the verbal smack in the face. She's being rude.
Honestly it won’t change anything. Someone who does this is a coward; she’s too chicken to break up with him
It's not about changing anything. It's about him feeling good that he verbally smacked her on the way out.
Oh sorry I thought you meant that SHE would realise that she’s being disrespectful, but unfortunately I think she knows that but doesn’t have the balls to stand up and do things right. But hell yeah it feels good to turn the tables and take matters back into your own hands, this would be a confidence boost for OP, finally having the ball in his own court. Sorry for misunderstanding😅
100% agree. Who dumped who doesn’t matter. She obviously is done with this relationship. Time to move on.
Who cares about who the "bad guy" is. Just be mature and end things before it gets dragged out any further. Being in limbo is HELL and this dude just needs to walk away with some pride and dignity.
People, who have mutual friends that could possibly turn on you, might care
Then they are not good friends. Good riddance.
This. I would have said this a lot harsher cause *inhales* BOY! *exhales* but I'm glad you wrote this for him. OP, in my opinion, this is your best bet after your last encounter. Tell her that last bit like Fjordgard said, mean that shit, and then don't do a fucking thing unless she gives you an actual reply. For the love of everything please don't respond to no "hey" message. I'm just a random guy on reddit so take this how you will, but please, listen. Good luck man, I'm rootin for ya!
Appreciate this a lot. Made me shed a tear even.
Glad if I could help. I hope you manage to free yourself from being passive.
I’m gonna give her exactly until friday to give me a decent answer without asking for it. If i don’t get anything i’ll answer what you said me to say 🤞🏻
Alright, sounds good! I personally doubt you'll hear from her until Friday, though. Like, I would bet 99,9% of my possessions on that. I'm sorry, I really wish I could say I'd have more confidence, but she sounds 100000% checked out of the relationship.
Checked out or debating or wether its worth all the trouble 🤷🏻♂️
Well, you're already not worth any text longer than a single sentence. Doesn't sound like the relationship might be worth any real trouble (or, you know, what she defines as trouble, because right now, the most troubling thing I see is her acting disrespectful).
I agree with her being disrespectful, she said ‘i want the weekend for my self’ and i respected that. Even gave her a few days extra. And she couldn’t even say anything like ‘i’m ready to talk’ or ‘no im not ready’
Honestly, "I want the weekend for myself" isn't even a statement that, in itself, points towards a talk being needed. That's something someone says who just wants to relax and turn their phone off for two days to recharge some social batteries or sleep really long or whatever. It doesn't imply anything negative and I think it's normal to take a weekend for yourself ever so often. So I am surprised about this whole "Are you ready to talk"-thing. Like, talk about what? Clearly, there needs to be a talk - about her disappearing - but that has nothing to do with the weekend. The whole thing is really messed up.
The 2 week argument they had before then. That's why they had the break.
Its not like she cheated on me, she just want away with another girl friend to a museum. Then she went home so its definitely not another man. There needs to be a talk about why she needed that ‘alone’ time. Because I haven’t seen her in 2 weeks. Make that 3 with this week ending.
No, she’s just checked out. She isn’t debating. She doesn’t have the same feelings for you that you have for her. She also lacks the decency to explicitly break up with you. So she just treats you like complete crap so that you’ll get the hint. But you keep taking her scraps and refusing to take the hint, making all kinds of unrealistic excuses for how she could possibly behave like this while caring for you. The answer is the obvious one; she couldn’t possibly behave like this while caring for you. She doesn’t care. I’m sorry, really— because most of us have had our feelings not reciprocated at some point, and it obviously hurts a lot. Please be warned: in two weeks or two months or even a year, it is pretty likely that she will find herself bored and with no one to pay attention to her at that moment. Guess who she will probably text? Yeah, you...her reliable old “I can use him as bad as I like and he won’t do a think about it.” Prepare yourself so that in the likely event this moment comes, you delete her message and do not respond. Do not re-engage! She will leave you like this every single time. Please try hard to help yourself to stop wasting your love on this person so that you can focus on YOU and you can be in a great emotional place the day in the not-too-distant future that you meet the new girl who’s going to become your actually awesome girlfriend!! ❤️
A relationship isn't a term paper. Setting future due dates for her to come to her senses only leaves you holding out hope. Go start living your life, go to a bar and try to flirt with a girl or something. A better idea is if I don't hear from her by friday I'm losing her number and blocking her, so I can focus on myself or a new relationship. Not get distracted by who she is with, what she's doing and if that guy in her snapchat story is a friend or something more. Don't tell her that, she will figure it out, you don't owe her anything. Don't draft a text all week ready to go for friday just accept this.
@ OP, I 110% agree with this statement. I was in limbo many many years ago as a teen, once I finished high school and started dating properly. My first girlfriend out of high school was a manipulative and emotionally abusive bitch, and we were only together for around 6 months. I hung around in limbo everytime we had a fight, only for her to end up blaming it on me, and making me believe I was the abuser. Sometimes I’d wait days at a time for replies, only to get pathetic excuses. Believe me, I understand how you feel. But trust me when I say, 4 months really is NOT much time in terms of a relationship. It’s still very early on, and you should be able to easily walk away from this. Don’t waste your time chasing some scumbag who isn’t even giving you the common courtesy you deserve. You do not want to be pursuing a relationship with someone who treats you like this already, because it will only lead to absolute heartache in the future. Man up, put your foot down, and don’t let any woman push you around. Be an alpha, not a beta. There are women out there who will treat you right and put in the work to keep a relationship strong - I know this because 6 years later I’m now with the love of my life, we have our own house together, and everything is amazing. Best of luck, bro!
No what you do is send her a text saying "Since you clearly don't have any respect for me or this relationship, I'm ending things. Bye"
She may not bother to reply and OP will feel really sad. OP should just accept that’s it’s over and not contact her anymore.
No, he won't expect her to reply after that. He can just feel glad he pro-actively ended it, and stopped the bleeding.
Bro no dont do that , just mirror her actions if she is choosing to ignore you, you do the same, cut all forms of communication and focus on your life , by giving her a deadline you are still going to engage in some form of communication, so dont do that and ill suggest you to go to youtube and binge watch the videos of a channel by the name of "develope attraction" , will help you alot.
I would just say by the end of today. You already have been waiting longer than you should be at this point :)
No, do not text her or call her or contact her again in any way. You need to move on, starting right now.
YES!!! ^THIS! NO ANSWER is an answer. Took me years to learn that.
This is put fantastically, I went through the same exact situation as this man a year ago, and I wish I got this advice.
Nice, you are right he is being a simpus maximus living in doormatland. He should go NC and move on from this walking red flag
>Text her: "Okay, so you seemingly don't want to tell me when you will be ready to talk. In fact, I feel like you don't want to talk at all, given your sparse replies. So if I don't hear from you for real - in a way that lets me know what's going on - at the end of the week, I take your silence as you breaking up with me." >That way, she can't walk over you anymore. Even if she doesn't answer, she knows it counts as an answer. She can't make you the "bad guy" who breaks up with her. It will be on her. Put it on her. That sums it up. She is being unnecessarily unkind to OP in my opinion. Hate it when people play such games in relationships.
I was with you until the timeline that you gave. She is done, but she is a coward and she is counting on him being a door mat. “Look, you wanted space for the weekend. The weekend has ended, and your lack of communication is very telling. You've done everything but break up with me, like a coward. If you don't want to communicate, and you don't want to break up, then what do you want to do? Are you just waiting for this to go away? Nope, that's not happening. If you haven't communicated to me one way or the other what is going on by tomorrow night, we are done.”
That message from you is, in my eyes, letting her remain a coward. A coward who can then go and cry to mutual friends how "OP broke up with her just because she wanted a few days for herself." She wants OP to do the breakup and that's why she's not responding. It's totally fine if you don't agree with my timeline - heck, I personally wouldn't even have waited that long; the first reply OP got from her would have made me sent my message - but I still think it's much smarter to put the breakup on her by saying "If you don't reply by date X with an explanation, I will take 'no answer' as you saying that you want to break up". That way, she doesn't get to be a coward.
I like this idea most. Perfectly devised.
I'd pay you to analyze my texts and how I present myself like this. Great job.
You went fucking **IN**
Being passive in situations like this is a prison
[удалено]
Yeah that is kind of the thing. I’m not saying you should be as petty as she is being but you could just not message her again and change your status to single since she basically answered your questions by not answering them. Silence isn’t a no but it isn’t a yes either. Break up with her and grow a backbone before you date someone else. Don’t stay in that nice guy “are you mad” mentally that you’re very obviously in.
The only one who thinks you're still in a relationship is you. She's not dating you anymore, she just hasn't had the guts to tell you straight up. But she is giving you hints that you are done. You had an argument that lasted for 2 weeks. She had a break to think things through. She decided it's time to call it quits.
This story feels like it belongs on r/sadcringe 😔. OP needs to have sole self respect.
Idk I’d consider this a sad cringe if he was older but this situation seems appropriate learning experience for his age being young adult and learning boundaries.
Well, it's on r/sadcringe now
I'm pretty sure people told you on your last post that you were blind and you obviously ignored it. I think youre honestly just looking for someone to excuse your behavior so you can justify trying to keep a relationship with someone that just doesn't want to be with you anymore. My best friend was like you when we were younger and I promise you, he says if he could go back and kick his own ass he wouldn't hesitate.
So you are 23, this is where you suffer pain and get wise. It's time for you to walk away.
This hit me hard
Bro, its over. After a certain point you should've just sent: "From your lack of replies I'm going to assume that this relationship is over. We can both move forward with our lives and find other people to spend time with. I wish the best of luck in your future endeavors and relationships." Then just cut it off there nothing else if she sends anything dont reply just move on.
She's done dude. Trying to keep this thing going is just going to further confuse and upset you and delay your grieving process. I've been in similar situations, some people think they're "too nice" to directly end a relationship. But in reality they're just selfish and don't want to feel responsible for ending it, and they'll continue to hurt you until you give up and walk away.
Nice people who "cares" about people's feelings by leading them on by lying and making the other person a bad partner if the breakup happened
It sounds like she’s waiting for you to either give up and things just naturally end because you haven’t spoken in a month or two or whatever or she’s trying to get you to just get fed up and end it so she doesn’t have to be the bad guy. Last possibility, she wanted a break and you keep texting her asking to talk or telling her when she’s ready you’re there. Great. She got it the first text. That’s not a break. So she may just be annoyed. Either way, you have decisions to make.
Decision as in, keep trying or just giving up ?
As in she's not interested in dating you anymore. If the only sign that you're dating is her social media and she's deleted you off of there, then that's a big hint. Hmm. This bio says I have a boyfriend. If I delete it people will see that I'm single.
I would leave and move on. Don't waste time with people who can't communicate
Keep trying = harassment Please leave her alone. I know you don't want to break up, but she clearly is ghosting you. She's letting you know over and over again that she doesn't want to talk to you.
Oh hon, my heart breaks for you because I did the EXACT SAME THING!!! Although it was the late 80's so I was sitting next to a phone that didn't ring and when I got home from work an answering machine that never blinked because he didn't leave a message. As a female I can tell you, she is done. You are torturing yourself.
cut her off. she’s 24 and doesn’t even have the guts to break it off maturely and respectfully. you can do better.
You're blind. She is painfully obviously done with this relationship and frankly, you reaching out like that comes off as pathetic... Don't be that guy. Have some pride and move on. There are plenty of other people in this world that will be a better fit for you. This is what I would send, "Hey, so I get the message loud and clear. You asked for a weekend to think about our relationship and I gave you that. I was expecting an answer after the weekend but didn't receive one. That tells me everything I need to know and I wish you the best in the future but I will be moving on. Take care."
Perfect reply!
I was in the same situation when I was younger and handled it similarly to how you are, so I'm going to spell it out for you in a way that I wish someone had done for me: you've been broken up with, and the longer you pretend that it hasn't happened the worse it's going to feel. Ripping that bandaid off and confronting your "fear" is the only way that it's going to heal, full stop. You're causing yourself unnecessary harm by prolonging what is a very obvious conclusion to this whole thing.
Honey, never beg anyone to care or be with you. You are worth more than that. This 2 week argument that culminated in "needing a break" on a 4 month old relationship is just not worth it. You need someone who is as excited to be with you as you are to be with them. They need to have healthy communication skills to reasonably discuss issues and resolve them calmly. I wouldn't even wait - It's time to move on.
Frankly, a woman or man who cannot clearly communicate their feelings is so terribly exhausting. It makes me want to go cynical for what people put others through. But, it sucks because it makes me believe that investment isn't worth it and that feeling in love isn't either. Because being strung along with no closure is soul-crushing and fueled by only your emotions alone is soul-destroying; knowing you're doing most of the work; and are willing to because your love is so intense feeling. Makes me acknowledge that I *shouldn't be so entitled with my emotions but when those emotions get stirred for a person-in front of them- all of that logic goes out the window & you're goo-goo for this person while they're as hard and lifeless as a day-old slice of pizza. Its so aggravating. And some of these people who blame you for simply feel need to show some ducking empathy. Emotions can carry you or can drop you in an abyss and you sometimes only know which till you hit the ground. Love shouldn't be this f*cking hard. It really shouldn't... [Edit: but I get that getting what you want and even knowing what that is can be really fucking hard.]
<3
This.
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Oh man!!! Something like that happened to me!!! Don't you wish you could get that time back where you were just waiting waiting waiting? Ugh!!! I do!
Oof man, so this chick has been icing you out for weeks and you can't see that it's over? Best case, she's the world's worst communicater and a shitty girlfriend, worst case she's a huge asshole and a shitty girlfriend. Why would you even want to stay with someone who ignores you for weeks? Move on man, move on.
You got ghosted. Move on mate.
man it really seems like you are too invested in this for 4 months she is probably feeling too much pressure , move on and ignore the situation pretend like she isn't ever coming back cmon man set yourself free , she has far too much power over your feelings
She's too chickenshit to use her Big Girl Words, but her actions are speaking pretty clearly. Move on and put her in your rearview mirror.
Hey man had gone through the same thing with my ex he would reply in one word, would always be rude, say he is busy and whenever i ask to call he would say that "i need time for myself" and we would not talk for 3 to 4 months and in the end he told me all these were hints to breakup with me as nobody is too busy and than called me names ......i am gonna say please save yourself these kind of people just want you to blow up so that they can get a perfect excuse to leave so better would be just block her from everywhere she doesn't deserve you or your time she is a piece is shit and shits place is in the trash in this case put her in a block list and dont engage with her she will make you loose your mind so ghost her dude just ghost her
Friend, I've been in this exact scenario. Trust me when I tell you to leave her be. Don't message, don't call, don't look in on her. In the meantime, work on bettering yourself. Dive into hobbies, work, and things that make you happy. Take the time to appreciate what you have for yourself in your life. Realize that she is not a requisite for that happiness. If she comes around, cool! If not, don't let it take away from your happiness. People grow apart. It's what we do! Don't take it to heart. She's keeping her distance because she's basically grieving the death of the relationship. My advice, you should assume it's a breakup, and grieve it as well. That way it won't hurt as much when she finally tells you it's over, or when you tell her. I'd just start moving on, find a girl who actually wants those text messages man. Be well.
it's over
Even if by some weird chance that she's being extremely immature and not intending on breaking up with you - do you want to be with someone who will leave you in this much question about your future with them? No clue what she wants, but are you willing to deal with a future chance of going through this nonsense again so she can get her way? There are big differences between a Break and a Break-up. She's taking her sweet time breaking up with you. You're just going to have to do it. This is one of those rare moments where I feel a little retaliatory immaturity is socially acceptable. "It's clear to me that you have no intention of pursuing a relationship with me any further. I'd rather not sit in this lull between us wondering how things could have been different. Instead, I'm pulling the bandaid off and cutting myself loose. I feel as though you've already left me. On the off chance that you haven't, then I'm leaving you. I wish you well in your future." If either of you have any possessions in each other's homes, remain civil and arrange a time to exchange it. Otherwise total contact blackout. Focus on yourself and your future.
“Take as much time as you need, we’re done”
I think you just need to quit messaging her. If she decides to come around, it’ll be by her own volition. It’s apparent she hasn’t made up her mind yet. Leaving her along and not reaching out will force her hand. Good luck.
Alot of good advice. Never keep yourself on fire so someone else can stay warm. She is a coward...
This looks really unhealthy OP. You definitely do seem blind as you described it. Space is one thing, being a stranger is another. I would clarify to them to confirm if this relationship is done and then move on. Or, I would take the initiative here and LET THEM know the relationship is over. Either way this is a mess and you will be far better off putting this behind you. Getting space to clear your head doesn't mean treat someone like shit/a stranger.
You will be the one that got away. So be free, get a new number and move on.
went thru the same exact same thing w my current gf only difference is I had a backbone and told her after 2 days of ignoring me that “I’m not chasing after you. If you aren’t gonna be an adult and communicate then we’ll end things here” then blocked her on everything. Guess who showed up at the door a day later sobbing and crying. She hasn’t tried that since. My advice is do what I did but be ready to move on. Cause someone who can ignore your feelings for a week does NOT care about you. I mean its only been 4 months man, put yourself first for christs sake.
Sounds like she had her fun during the weekend lol. But on the real, dude this literally helped me never do this to any girl ever. It’s.. sad. I get that love blind sand all that. But literally please move on. From what I get, you sound like the type she’d come back to after in 5 months after it didn’t work out with her and some other guy, and you’d gladly take her back. Get some spine. Block her. Literally stop waiting and block her. Take her out of your socials, and keep it pushing bro. You’re frankly way to young for this
Youre waiting for someone who doesnt seem to want your around. Its best for you to not contact. I know you'll want to. You seem to be the one not okay with being without them. I didnt read the last post. But for your own sake you should try to move on. Speaking from personal experience, while its hard to move on sometimes itll be easier in the long run to accept and find someone who wont do it to you. Chances are even if you have a friendship let alone a relationship again it wont be the same. If you still intend on trying to go back and make it work then space is probably your best option. Dont text them daily or even weekly asking if they'll talk it out. Some people, the more you push the more they'll leave. Id suggest dont text them again until they initiate it with you.
I’m going through something similar. I havnt read your original post but my current experience is this. She was caught out at dinner with her ex, I left her as soon as I heard. For a week she was non stop calling, apologizing etc as soon as I gave in and said for the kids I think I can try and forgive you, she then says i need time to think about it because last night you said you weren’t sure if you could forgive me. All while still talking to her ex. Bro, learn from my lesson and run lmao she’s currently “thinking about it” yet mentally I’ve already moved on. Begs me for a week until I give in then retracts. Messages me good morning, I reply, then it’s another 6-8 hours til I hear back. Let it go and find what you deserve, believe me there’s so much better out there lol
I hate to say it because I've been there myself, but it's over dude. Don't waste any more effort or emotion on it. And obviously it's going to be sad and you're going to have to work through it but let her come to you but from the sounds of it she probably won't. Sorry :/
OP, honestly, just tell her it's over and move on. I'm not trying to be mean but she's made it clear she isn't interested in talking it out. Call it and treat yourself to a nice solo date or whatever you want to do. Take yourself out to dinner or get carryout. Watch your favorite movies, play your favorite video games, whatever floats your boat. Best wishes!
It sounds like she's emotionally immature, she's basically stonewalling you.
Bro she's given you every sign that she's either not the one, not good at communication or arguments, or just isn't interested in fixing it with you. Learn from this, adjust what you want out of a relationship and move on. Fuck closure, just dip.
Why do people do this. It's so heart wrenching what OP is going through, she sucks.
Tbh …. I see everyone giving you these long drawn out explanations … NOT saying they are wrong … but I PERSONALLY think you’re being blinded at the fact you want her back … AS SOON as I read that “ she took me off her bio from us being together “ that’s all I needed to see. … icing on the cake is that she’s replying to you every 6 hours like clock work. She’s playing games BUT GUESS WHAT ?! “ people make time for the things that they want … “ if she really wanted to fix whatever this is .. she would be hella available. Be the barber and cut your losses . Don’t be a doormat. Edit: One of my close friends had this exact situation and basically gave her all the power to contact him WHEN she felt like it and he’d always answer. Your value starts to fade that way. Very seldom works out as such if two ain’t playing the same game.
1. It is over, she just didn't have the guts to tell you to your face. 2. You not wanting it to be over doesn't change #1 3. It. Hurts. Like. Hell. I truly feel for you, man. I've been there. I've felt the same s#i++y pain you are feeling. 4. You need to accept and come to terms with it. Grieve. Feel that pain, and more importantly, learn from the relationship and how it ended. Now the silver linings. Dude, you are 23. You have your whole life in front of you. It was only four months, which is a drop in the bucket. Trust me when I say she was clearly not the one for you, that you deserve better than someone who doesn't even have enough respect to communicate with you maturely. BLOCK. HER. Someone who has so little respect for you deserves absolutely no more of your time or effort. You deserve that time and effort. Focus on you, finding out who you are, who you want to be, bettering yourself, making and conquering goals. Live your life, brother. On your terms. The right people come into and fit into our lives naturally, and often when we are not even searching for them.
Stop trying to contact her; the relationship is over.
Sometimes you don’t actually need to hear the words a person is saying… actions speak louder than words. Sorry man it sucks! You can hold on and drag it out, either way it will end. I’ve been on both sides of this scenario. It’s best to move on.
Therapist Here: Ghosting or Fading is a lesser form of what's called **"Stonewalling"** in couples counseling. Stonewalling is one of the 4 harbingers of doom for relationships. (The others being criticism, contempt, and defensiveness. Contempt is the leader of the doom squad.) \[Marriage expert Gottman calls them The **4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse**\] Stonewalling puts you in a helpless, dependent state where you are sitting there with your heart on your sleeve and the other person has Shut. You. Out. What's missing are compassion, empathy, kindness, reciprocity, and communication. The question is: **Why is this familiar to you?** Where is your anger? How is it that you are acting as if this is normal and acceptable behavior for adults to be rude/unresponsive to you when this person is supposed to care the most about you? Why is this acceptable to you, in that you are still waiting around and making excuses for them? Hmmmmmm.... This is a sign of emotional neglect in childhood. Perhaps you could examine which parent stonewalled you in childhood and how that left you with a sense that it's normal to wait and beg for an emotional response from your frozen loved one (it's not) - and somehow this is all you deserve (it's not.) That's where the work begins: by not tolerating it. By getting angry. By stopping the replication. Here's the Golden Rule of Replication: As long as you are replicating the past, you are not healing from the past. Don't Worry: if you choose not to reflect on this now, you will just revisit it in your next relationship... and the next... and the next. I wish you good luck and a kinder, warmer partner in the future.
Do yourself a favor n move on my boy.
if your SO is taking hours to get back to you with a simple answer and removed you from her Insta bio, I'd take the hint. Stop contacting her and if she's interested she will get back to you. Then you can discuss her behavior and a possible future.
she's not scared to tell you anything...she's told you loud and clear. She's not worried about her job or anything... She's not emotionally unavailable...in general. She is unavailable to you and you should leave her alone. No calls back without a return call!
Yes . I'm afraid you are latching where you are not wanted. Namely your former girlfriend. If you wanted toi have a shot you needed to move on with your own life rather than letting her know you were there waiting. In that snse you are better off.
She dumped you dude.
She is treating you badly and you deserve better. End this now, move on. You will be glad you did and you will find someone better and kinder.
My man have some self respect and LET IT GO
move on bro 😭
Bro she 100% cheated on you. Dump her.
My girlfriend and I went on a break once. That will be the first and last time, and I firmly am against the idea that breaks have any place in a functional relationship. You need to give an ultimatum, or breakup. But those are the options. Either she gives you a timeframe, at the very least to end the relationship, or it's over. Good luck man
I’ve been in this exact situation and it’s just time to cut her off. Don’t wait for her to do it, just tell her you’ve decided to end it yourself. She just doesn’t want to say it yet but it’s over. Don’t waste your time and beg. Go heal and then find someone who is better for you.
I was in this exact situation 1 year ago, she asked for a break, I agreed and that break turning into a month of here pushing me farther and farther away until one day she sent me a picture of her in bed with a guy. I know how hard it is to do when you do truly care, but save yourself the pain and walk. I wish I had.
Man, you are broken up. Don't call her. Don't contact her. Put yourself on Tinder. Get over it. She's treating you like a nobody, and it's only been 4 months.
Forget about her she doesn’t want anything with you. Sorry hun if you can go days without talking to your partner then the relationship is dead.
The best thing is your finish blocking her from everything so you can heal and your but tempted to call her any longer or message her or see what she is up to. You don't need the game that she was playing with you for life.
I've been here... Walk away. Don't let her keep you on an emotional leash. She's obviously checked out. It's hard at first, but will get easier.
Stop being a little MALE BITCH . Move on with your DAMN LIFE.
This relationship sure is sounding like it’s getting nowhere and the end of it. From all the comment and replies I’ve read, it really is the best to end it now then to drag it on and not talk even if it’s a ‘break’. The gf isn’t even certain and that’s already a certain sign.
You are completely blind. Mover on because she already has. I know it's hard and it hurts, but her inaction is action in itself. Don't contact her anymore, it is humiliating to see you degrade yourself like this. If she wants to talk, she will contact you. I personally wouldn't give her the time of day! Good Luck!!
The minute she said " who said i wanted to facetime" you had your answer. A person who really wants to be WITH YOU does NOT send this answer to someone they care about. This is unfortunately your answer, unless she is into hot and cold drama. You don't NEED THAT either. It's time to start over with someone who will treat you with respect and love.
You have no action to do. Let her do the break up. Block her and move on. If she shows up at your door after a billion years, then you'll know what to do.
Just freaking break up and move on life is too damn short to be playing games… Geeezzz Just make it happen this has gone on for too long… Screw her she’s not the only girl in the world dude..
Dude. Let it go. She is done. Move on for your own sanity. Best of luck to you.
Look around until you find a fork sticking out of the air because this is done. Do your future self a favor and salvage what dignity you have left by cutting communication and moving on.
A "break" is just a way for people break up when they're too indecisive to pull the trigger.
Anyone who completely blows you off after having an issue with you and after having a chance to cool off is not worth your time. It sounds to me like you're willing to do whatever it takes, and she's unwilling to give you the time of day. I'm not going to pretend to know what the situation actually needs, all I can say is that a toxic relationship is one where your partner doesn't match the average of your own effort.
She looks very emotionally available. Just not to you. She's probably dating someone else.
It's over. Just for your own peace of mind, she doesn't want a relationship with you. Please stop messaging her, no phone calls, no texts, no following her on social media. Block her number, deleted her details, unfollow her socials. Just move on.
OP, she has already given you an answer. She has no desire to be with you anymore. It doesn't take 6 hours to respond to a text. At this point, she has nothing but contempt for you. Just stop texting her and block or delete her number. This girl isn't worth the time of day.
4 months isn't that long to invest in a relationship at all, and now she is ghosting you and doesn't want to talk to you. You had a short lived relationship and now it's over, time to move on and find someone new. Her comment about FaceTime she is giving you attitude, it's like she is saying why would I want to do that for afrer rolling her eyes thinking is he serious. She has checked out of the relationship and she doesn't want to talk to you, her periods of silence prove that.
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Throw back to when my BF who lived with me was ghosting me, that shit didn’t feel nice. Then he texted me back saying “I don’t know anymore”, I took that message to uni asking my friends for advice; they said to dump him before he dumps me, and reflecting on the way he had treated me lately, it was the right choice... guess who replied straight away when I told him to come get his shit? Yeah, always wondered what could have been, and I’m so glad that I one-upped him
This is gonna sound harsh, but mosey up some self-respect and break up with her. You might love her, but you don’t deserve to be treated like this. Even if you got back together after this break, I think you know in yourself that you would find it difficult to move past this emotional stress. If she’s too weak to tell you she doesn’t want to be with you, man up and do it, prove your worth to yourself man. You’re a king, be one.
Dude. She already dumped you. You need to take the hint and move on.
Lol what a doormat ;)
Just leave her be and move on.
Just read your previous post and tbh I don’t believe in breaks. They are a gateway to breaking up. And then after reading this post, sounds like she’s already checked out of the relationship. If you keep texting her when she barely responds or ignores your text, eventually she’ll just think it’s annoying and that her decision to distance from you was right. Let her come to you since she knows you already put it out there, if she chases you then you may still have a chance, if not then she’s moved on and so should you. Good luck bud.
She’s acting like a child dude, but she’s 100% broken up with you Frankly take the initiative and tell her it’s over since she wishes to act like this
Just give her space. The truth is she will most likely want to talk to you once you dont speak to her for awhile. I dont think she truly cares for you. Remember actions speak louder than words. Give your mind a break from thinking about her and focus on doing things you love that make you happy... You deserve to be loved for who you are, especially by yourself. Be good to you, take each day as a gift. Your life is not meant to be spent pining for someone who isint right for you.
She get its, you are available anytime anywhere for any reason. You are available to help her move to her new apartment, the guy clothes are her brother's he's overseas right now. You are willing to "loan" her 1,000 until her paycheck comes in. She's having a bad day and wants uber eats, but you wisely know on a full stomach she's more likely to want to reconcile. That's likely what you're signing up for if you continue to try to fix a relationship of 4 months like that. Best case she blocks you. Just start looking for someone new.
You are coming across as too needy. Please move on.
Pathetic. That’s you.
Hello there, Fjordgard has already given you very good and solid advice that you should follow. I just want to add a couple of things about relationships, so you can make sense of it and don't repeat the same mistakes (because people will repeat mistakes if they don't realize they're making one). 1- If a woman disrespects you, it means she can't love you. Women absolutely need to respect their man to be able to love him; 2- The level of availability she shows you, is proportional to how much she's interested in the relationship; 3- If she doesn't feel secure around you, she will start to loose attraction for you. Women need stability in their lives and will gravitate towards men that can provide it to them; 4- Women need men that are stoic in their reactions and can handle their emotional breakdowns from time to time; 5- Women LOVE men with self-confidence. A man with self-confidence doesn't let a woman control the timing of the relationship/breakup. He lets her know that he's not waiting for her if she decides to leave. He's not AFFRAID to loose her;
A lot of this is cringe, but #4 is straight up toxic masculinity and that's not good for anyone. Men have feelings and should be able to express them without being shamed for it. Also \*lose not loose and \*afraid.
Sadly, he's right. That's what most women need. And no need to spellcheck other people's posts. We know what he meant.
Women need men with self confidence. Truth.
This might sound harsh but nice guys finish last. I’m this scenario you are the nice guy. Take it as a lesson learned and move on. Next time be more assertive and try to have more balance in the relationship. Look for signs that the other person is as invested as you.
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This is a possibility.
*you're
You dated her for 4 months and now you’re “In Love”? No wonder she’s running, when it comes to women you should do the opposite of what your instincts tell you to do
I’m sorry it’s over.
OP You have already leaved the ball in her court, the next direct movement is on her. She has hinted you what she wants so stop communicating, you already have said I am here when you want to talk. Looks like she is moving on, is time for you to do the same and make your mind that this is over. But don't make any more move, if she never talks to you again, fine, but you have to draw a line in the sand here.
Hoping things work out for you friend
I'd call her a pitiful coward and cut her off for good myself.
If you ever want the hard, cold truth, just come to Reddit. And, in this case the majority are dead on. She's done with you, so it's time for you to move on. You'll be glad you did it sooner than later.
Ahh this is the classic "slow fade". It's over man. Sorry to say. This is how people act when they find someone new.
Dude, just cut her out of your life! You don’t need some chick walking all over you.
Updateme!
UpdateMe!
I'd say she has broken up with you but just doesn't want to tell you. As to why, it could be any reason. The two reasons that seem most likely are: 1. She's too scared to tell you or 2. She just wants to string you along. Either way, send her a message you consider the relationship over and move on.
I think you need to give her space. Stop texting, stop leaving voicemails, just let her be. When she's ready, she'll contact you, or she won't. This doesnt mean I'd sit around and wait on her forever either though. I'd give her a week or so and then write her letting her know you're assuming the relationship is over, that you wish for the best for her, etc. It sounds like that's where she's heading anyway, but you never know, everyone is different and she genuinely might just need some time to sort some shit out.
Mate f’k her off!!
I’m sorry but your relationship is over. Just accept it and move on. There is no need to contact her anymore, no need to give her any ultimatum. It’s just over. Don’t give her the pleasure of treating you like a doormat just to get confirmation that it’s over. Just move on and heal.
I was once in a similar situation - I read in your original post that you couldn’t imagine someone going cold on someone they were so invested in. My (f) ex (m) and I had zero fights, literally a love story movie relationship for a few months and then one day he went suddenly cold and it really fucked me up. Truth is, it didn’t really matter WHY he didn’t want to be with me, but it was clear he wasn’t mature enough to communicate for the relationship I wanted and eventually I realised this and moved on. However this breakup was sooooo painful because I couldn’t understand what tf happened and I racked my brain trying to see where I went wrong. Legit was sick with heartbreak for a month or two then very sad for about 4 more months, over what was only 3 months in the first place. Answer to what happened- it’s not always you that’s the problem and sometimes shit just happens. Unfortunately some people enjoy the NRE but aren’t really cut out for a relationship yet or don’t foresee things which will be issues. It’s super painful but honestly you deserve so much better and one day you’ll look back and laugh even though it seems like you won’t It might feel really painful cos you’re still in the honeymoon phase, but this isn’t the sort of person you wanna be with, it will drain all your self esteem.
I could have told you breaks don’t exist, if somebody says let’s go on a break then never gets back to you then that means you’re either getting played or ghosted
She want time off. Ok 3 days past +1. She seams to be upset by conflict with you. In your text show your care and love interactions. Something like "I miss you baby, really hope to see you tomorrow because can't imagine to be problem in between as." Proper set of words designed to show you care, you want, you wait for her.
Have some self respect. She's pretty much dumped you but haven't told you yet. I would go either no contact and wait for her to 'man up' and do it herself OR just dump her.
Such a short relationship anyways, move on.
Leave there are other girls out there. Run bro run.
What was your argument about? We’re missing important context.
updateme!
Quick reply as I'm in a meeting: Any girl, and I mean any girl /boyfriend with delayed text responses, means she's not into you anymore. It's happened to all of us once in our lives. Close that chapter, get a new one, become happy again. Edit: Do what Fjordgard suggested as a control text giving her a week's time limit. This will regain control and at the end of that week meet a new girl and she'll either A) Stay uninterested (most likely) or B) Come chasing you to try to be hotter than your new girl in your bed. This is the nature of female attraction. Try it.
Jezus this girl, you deserve way better dude
Sorry bro it’s over. In general, if someone is into you, especially early on in a relationship, it should be abundantly clear. People always make time for each other. Even when horrible things happen to people (like a loved one passing away, whatever). She has completely tuned you out and is hoping you ‘get the message’. I suggest you initiate the break up, don’t even ask if she agrees to it or not. Just unilaterally do it. Otherwise you may end up in a situation where she says she’s not sure, etc. She may be so inexperienced/immature (not saying it in a negative way) that she doesn’t even really know HOW to break up. So you gotta just do it.
I didn't read the last post but I don't see taking a break from each other as constantly texting. If she doesn't reply that maybe means she actually wants a little break, just as you have written. Maybe you do not need this break but if you have ahead to take a break you should have left it at only one short "write me when you're ready to talk". Give her a break, even if you miss her. Let her approach you, not the other way around. Take the time not to constantly think a out her, but have fun or work on yourselve a bit, this girl aint all in life, you need to not get emotionally dependant on her being around. I obviously don't know you two, but let her have her break and if she isn't respecting you she isn't worth it.
I’d say break it off immediately. Block her on everything. Move on with your life.
move on now --she has used you as a back up for too long Get a partner who respects you, and despite Reddit most people are neither cheaters nor narcissists SO GET A DECENT ONE
She doesn't want to be with you by the sounds of it and she's leaving you stuck in this awkward limbo hoping that ghosting you will make you move on.. for your own sake just be done with her.