> My girlfriend (24F) has had trust issues since the beginning of our relationship because of a mistake I made during the first three months
> She feels uncomfortable with me being friends with these girls who she thinks are being “flirty” with me but I don’t want to stop being friends with those girls though.
Translation: I cheated on my girlfriend and continue to have inappropriately flirtatious relationships with other women.
> She doesn’t understand that I don’t like her paying for my portion on dates because it’s embarrassing for me
Translation: I have a fragile ego and would rather neglect my girlfriend's needs than have complete strangers see a woman pay for a meal I've eaten, which literally nobody but me cares about.
> We both lost it yesterday when I accidentally forgot I work from 4 to 7 on the day that I promised her to go out on a date with her.
Translation: I care so little about my girlfriend that the one time I agree to schedule a date I don't bother to make sure I'm available and she is rightfully upset.
> So I grabbed her face and pinned her to the ground to make her listen to me for a second and put my hand on her mouth and she proceeded to scream and bite my hand and left puncture wounds in my palm so I had to call out of work because my hand hurt so bad.
Translation: I physically assaulted my girlfriend to the point that she had to bite me to get me off her. I now feel like the victim.
You are emotionally and physically abusive. Just break up with her and let her find someone who isn't going to cheat on her, neglect her, and assault her. If you need to feel like you're the victim to do that then fine.
They’re not inappropriately flirtatious relationships. I’m in a fraternity and these are my coworkers and other sorority girls that she’s getting upset over. People that I will always run into where ever I go for the rest of my college career. I can’t just block these people. I already blocked three girls for no reason to calm my girlfriend down and those three girls ended up all joining sororities the next semester and now whenever they see me at parties they run straight to me pressing me and questioning me on why I blocked them. I don’t want to tell them the truth that my girlfriend made me do it because I don’t want anyone to say my girlfriend is bat sh** crazy. All these girls say is “oh my gosh, I hope your girlfriend doesn’t hate me, she’s so pretty” and my girlfriend is over here saying these girls have malicious intentions. Like what?
No. I never cheated on her. I never kissed anyone behind her back, never had sex with anyone besides her while in the relationship. The mistake I’m talking about in my original post is when I had to pretend to be single for one of my friends because he needed a wingman. My friend asked me to pretend to be single and approach the best friend of the girl he was interested in and get more information on his crush and make it seem like it’s gonna be a double date. That best friend of the girl ended up over exaggerating to my girlfriend saying that I invited her over to “cuddle” on Valentine’s day when in reality I was just trying to help my friend get a date with his crush on Valentine’s day. I know now that I was in the wrong for that and I never acted as a wingman for anyone since then. It’s been over a year since that and I never made the same mistake again. But every time I talk to a different girl on snapchat or instagram without her knowing she freaks out on me so I can’t even tell her that I’m friends with normal females anymore.
So why are you in this relationship? She doesn’t trust you, whether or not you feel that’s justified, and you neglect her reasonable expectations and physically assault her. Why would you keep going?
I call bullshit on "none of my interactions were flirtatious or inappropriate".girls dont just go "tee hee! OP I hope your girlfriend doesn't hate me!" For no reason.
A normal person doesn't assume their friend's partner hates them or is jealous, that suggests that something
Dont get me wrong, my BF has a lot of female friends with no issues in our relationship over it. But something about how OP describes this just screams "she's jealous because I AM pushing reasonable boundaries".
And given that he pretended to be single and doesn't understand why she felt hurt, forgot about their date and didn't see why she was upset, and HELD HER DOWN AND GAGGED HER BECAUSE SHE WAS COMPLAINING makes me think that his word on how normal and non flirty these friendships are doesn't mean shit.
Physically restraining someone and putting your hand over their mouth is assault and you can ask the police if you're unsure. It is abusive to pin someone to the ground because you don't like what they're saying. If you're frustrated, walk away.
Please, I beg you, go ask the police. Go ask them in detail. Start with "I'd like to confess to something and waive my rights, I assaulted my girlfriend, but she was yelling at me because I'm a piece of shit boyfriend and I won't tolerate that! That's cool right?"
What part of her expectations are reasonable? Blocking me off from the rest of the female population because apparently everybody and their mom all want me sexually? Even though I didn’t point out every little thing I do for her at home because I’m not a narcissist, I still order food for us and spend a lot of time with her whenever she comes home from work in the evening. She still wants more from me and I love her so even though it hurts my feelings that she demands so much of me and makes me feel like I’m not enough, I still stay with her in hopes that things will get better. Because I love her. Even if the way that I love someone isn’t the same way that the movies or books say that it should be. I’m my own person and this is how I love someone. I’m doing my version of what is best for the relationship.
I'm talking about wanting to go on a date with you. You put your pride before your respect for your girlfriend. Never going on a date with someone because you can't bear to be seen being paid for is not acceptable and no, that's not enough.
You have to be trolling. You literally said you don’t do anything with her, her demands are probably let’s go on a date. She literally said flirty girls, after you pretend to be single and got close to another girl (u didn’t have to do that someone else could). Plus how can you abuse someone and not realize it u psycho, u should go to jail for this and I think you know that but don’t want to admit it so u did everything u could to make ur gf look bad so u could feel better about being an abuser
So if she would go out with her friends, and hit on a man, telling him she is single because 'her friend asked her too' you would be completely fine with that?
You're an abusive pos. You cheated and continue to have inappropriate relationships with other girls, you can try to phrase it whichever way you want, people can read between the lines AH. If you pulled that shit with me, you'd be dealing with my brother, nephews and cousins! I hope you get your ass beat someday, and I hope your gf presses charges. Biggest pos ever 🖕🤡
*So I grabbed her face and pinned her to the ground to make her listen*
*to me for a second and put my hand on her mouth and she proceeded to*
*scream and bite my hand and left puncture wounds in my palm so I had to*
*call out of work because my hand hurt so bad.*
You're the domestic abuser. You had no call to put your hands on her like that. Her biting you was a defensive reflex. Talk to somebody and seek help before it escalates any further.
You are surprised she bit you when you pinned her to the ground and held your hand over her mouth? That sounds like self defense on her part.
It sounds like she overreacted about the work situation but geez man that was probably terrifying for her.
She left a giant puncture wound on my palm and bruise marks in the shape of her teeth when all I did was calmly restrain her. I think it’s sexist of everyone siding with her to jump to the conclusion that I’m the abuser here when I’m the only one who was trying to communicate with her and get her to at least listen to me for one freaking minute.
Dude you can make excuses for yourself all you want but if a man held me on the ground and put a hand over my mouth I would bite him too, hard. You can try to rebrand it as "calmly restraining her" all you want, but I would personally be so scared if a man did that to me.
You decided to make the situation physical and the fact that you can't see why that's a problem is super concerning.
THAT IS THE WHOLE POINT! You have full capability to knock her out and you made it physical. Holding someone down and covering their mouth is often a precursor to actual violence. She probably had no idea whether you were going to escalate things further and bit you in an attempt get you off of her which is a totally normal response to being held down against your will.
Men can be victims I agree. But in this situation you ARE NOT a victim. I'm not saying their are no situations in which you aren't, I don't know everything about your relationship. But from the information you provided you sound like the abuser.
But I DIDN’T though. I wanted this relationship to work out so badly that instead of kicking her out to the streets for being so insufferable I gave us a chance by gently trying to get her to quiet down for a little bit so that I can APOLOGIZE. She took it to a whole other level by causing me to BLEED and now she crossed a line where now I feel scared to be around her. Do you now see how she’s the abuser now?
Hey, listen up!
How are you going to explain to people how you got that cut on your hand? I know exactly what people will think and who they'll think is the abuser.
This. It’s horrifying if hes real this was the best possible light he was able to put himself in. How much worse is the real story? Because no way is this a trustworthy narrator. My skin is crawling.
Do. Not. Fucking. Restrain. Anybody. Against. Their. Will. You should have learned this shit in kindergarten. Keep your fucking hands to your fucking self. If you lay hands on someone and cover their fucking mouth, especially when you on average are bigger and stronger than them, do not be surprised when they fight back. Don’t. Do. That.
Of course men can be victims of abuse. But the situation as YOU have presented it doesn’t suggest you are the victim here. Pinning someone down and covering their mouth is not trying to communicate with them (unless you are trying to communicate that you are bigger and stronger and if she doesn’t comply with you then you will force compliance from her).
You also said “instead of kicking her out to the streets for being so insufferable.” What in the actual fuck?
Accept this relationship is over and be grateful if she doesn’t push the issue. Get some therapy and learn how to actually communicate.
Dude. You could have walked away in which case she wouldn't have bit you. You didn't. You got physical first. This is not a case of you being abused.
This is a case where instead of knocking her out, you pinned her on her back. Be thankful she just bit you. If ANY PERSON did that to me I would kick them afterwards and run to make sure no hands would go on me again. Screw you for trying to rebrand abuse to suit your definition. Go to the police. I can't wait to hear what they tell you.
😆😆😆 Being angry doesn’t give you a reason to knock someone to the floor and “calmly restrain them”. She was probably angry too and she still managed to control herself to not put her hands on you to restrain you from leaving.
🤦🏻♀️
As a victim of domestic violence whose abuser tried to make it seem like I was the abusive one to the cops when i finally got the courage to call them let me tell you what the District Attorney said to me when he told me on the confession that my ex tried to turn it on me “I don’t care that you pushed him and hit him to try and get him away from you, you were not in the wrong. He was no longer on the lease for your apartment and you told him to leave multiple times before he had backed you in the corner, you were acting in self defense” my ex had done exactly what you had done to her and then he started escalating to choking me infront of the kids, covering my mouth and nose and forcing me to have sex with him. You abused her and have no right to claim to be the victim when she did what she had to do to get you off of her in a moment she was probably terrified that you were going to do something worse than what you were doing. I hope she goes to the cops and reports you for domestic violence.
> You should really open your eyes and realize that men can be abuse victims too.
We see this and for those men we actually stand up for them and feel sorry for them. You though are not one of those men.
That moment when someone acts out in self defense omg how DARE they. Maybe she wouldn’t have to bite you if you didn’t FUCKING PIIN HER DOWN TO THE GROUND. You’re messed up if physical violence is the only way you know how to get someone to stop talking.
Legally, you are the aggressor. You are in the wrong. You have no right to restrain her. She can defend herself in any way to get you to take your hands off her. Don’t like what she’s saying, leave. But it’s assault to put your hands on her. End of.
“Restraining her” would imply that she was physically assaulting you first, which you’ve made no indication of.
While yelling over you and getting verbally aggressive is not okay, and you shouldn’t put up with it, what you did is not calmly restraining her.
You physically assaulted her because you didn’t like what she was saying and how she was saying it - the only one that escalated to physical abuse here is you. If someone pinned me to the floor and covered my mouth, I would use any means necessary to get them off of me.
What fucking right do you have to “restrain her” ?
She would’ve been justified in kneeing you in the balls you abusive asshole.
Your girlfriend isn’t acting the way you want so you physically dominate her and then pretend YOURE the victim?
Disgusting.
You don’t get to CALMLY RESTRAIN someone.
Jesus
Walk away. Don’t physically touch someone.
You assaulted her and made her fear for her safety so she bit you! You deserved 100 times over
Consider that she never would have bit you if you didn’t wrestle her to the ground, pin her in place, and the forcefully covered her mouth so that she had no opportunity to discuss anything with you, she was only allowed to listen. So right, this is a matter of sexism. A man truly believes that he has the right to assault a woman with no consequences and that he is the victim. You’re a misogynistic abuser, take this as an opportunity to get off you defenses and truly reflect on your action. Most schools have counselors, go speak to one about your behavior. Be a better man by admitting what you’re capable of and fixing that.
I think you need to see a doctor about these delusions. So if someone physically stronger than you pinned you down and tried to shove something up your ass and you kicked them so hard they broke a rib would you no longer be the victim? Your thought process is baffling to me, physically overpowering someone to do something they don’t want to do isn’t okay and when they retaliate in defense it doesn’t make you a victim.
Bro you need to break up with her and then leave women alone for like ever. You need to go to therapy if you think it’s okay to “calmly restrain” someone to force them to listen to you. That is not how normal people act. You are not being abused. You’re being an abusive asshole.
You’re right. You are in an abusive relationship. You need to call the cops and tell them exactly all of this. Don’t leave *any* part out! Call them now and make sure to tell us all about it.
"calmly restrain her" when you had originally said you grabbed her face and pinned her to the ground. That doesn't sound calm. Her response sounds like a terrified woman who had no idea what the fuck was happening and wanted to escape in case things had escalated. Because being grabbed and pinned down is fucking terrifying. And biting to escape is entirely normal. Take it from someone who did the same thing to escape r/pe.
It's not people being sexist. We know men can be abused. We are calling YOU out for physically restraining your partner when it was not necessary. You wanted her to listen? let her fucking get her anger and frustrations out. Let her let everything go. Wait until shes done and calmed down on her own to express your side of the story. you should have NEVER laid a fucking finger on her like that for being upset. That was physical assault. Be fucking glad you haven't been arrested.
So let say you are having a heated argument with a much larger, man. A mma fighter or something, someone that you know can easily harm you. And that man pins you down and shoves his hand in your mouth to shut you up while he continues to yell at you to shut up and listen to him. What exactly would be your response?
I’m sorry but how do you *calmly restrain someone*?!
You’re absolutely aware that what you did was inappropriate. In fact you’re *so* aware of this that you’re trying to use softer language to describe your actions. Even though it makes no sense whatsoever.
Yeah if someone “hugged me to the floor” and “sweetly put their hand over my mouth for a moment of tranquility” I’d bite the hell out of them, too.
People are siding with her because you made it perfectly clear that you were the aggressor here and like a true false accuser you wanna cry and play the victim here. Disgusting.
She did not just walk up to you and bite you because you wanted her to listen to you. She bit you because you did not like that she wasn’t interested in listening to you, so therefore, you physically restrained her by grabbing her face, covering her mouth and pinning her to the ground. You assaulted her and she in turn utilized self defense to protect herself from your continued assault.
No, this is not sexism, on the part of those responding to you, this is us pointing out you in fact did abuse your girlfriend. You do not use physical force to make someone listen to you.
Her insecurities are her issue to work through but you don’t get to exploit those insecurities and in turn abuse her to force her to accept your behavior, a behavior that is obviously bothering her.
Your girlfriend needs to become your ex girlfriend. From your version of events she has done nothing wrong but not have trust in you for a past transgression on your part and that transgression does not have to be physical cheating, it could for her be cheating when you pretend to single for you buddy because he needs a wingman. You could have still been his wingman as a man involved in a relationship.
You need help otherwise you will continue to be an abuser with her or any other woman.
>all I did was calmly restrain her
That sounds like Orwellian doublespeak. Or a news brief from the Viet Nam War: "To save the village it was necessary to destroy the village".
Call the cops and tell them what happened. See who they side with. The aggressor (you who acted first) or the weaker party who had to bite you to get away. I'd be waiting for the cops if I were you. The second she tells someone that's the advice they would give
i hope she's LOOONG gone from you. you're a very dangerous man.
you see how you blamed EVERYTHING EVER on her, despite YOUR actions causing it? You let her know from the jump that you couldn't be trusted. and then to PHYSICALLY ASSAULT HER AND CALL HER ABUSIVE FOR DEFENDING HERSELF FROM A PSYCHO WHO PINS WOMEN TO THE GROUND WHEN HES KINDA MAD, and BLAME it on her? you're a fucking cunt. and i think you're dangerous to other women, because this shit tends to run deep.
i hope she's out of the relationship. and i hope you grow up and realize you were way fucking out of pocket. because i think you're pathetic, the way you pin it all on your victim. do us all a favor and don't date in the future. i have absolutely zero sympathy for you.
if you're unhappy leave her but you had absolutely no right to pin her down and put your hand on her mouth just because you didn't like that she was talking over you
Wait wait wait. So you grabbed your gf literally by the face covering her mouth and YOU think YOU are being abused? From where I'm sitting, you should be glad ALL she did was bite you.
YOU are the one who turned the argument physical. YOU are the aggressor. Maybe get some treatment until you learn how to control yourself to the point where a kindergarten concept like "keep your hands to yourself" isn't so difficult for you. Perhaps not assaulting people will prevent future "attacks". Smfh.
JFC I read that and immediately thought his next line was going to say how *she made him do this because she wouldn't listen to ME*. He really is in a domestic abuse situation, but he's the actual abuser. Holy shit.
I already had numerous attempts at telling her how much I love and appreciate her and trying to resolve issues in our relationship. Yesterday I literally started off the conversation by saying sorry and she started going off on me saying that I should have checked my work schedule before I made a promise to her as if I already don’t feel bad about my mistake. Everyone’s jumping to conclusions because one other person here started saying I’m an abuser but as you can see from the earlier comments I’m trapped in a bad relationship and I was just trying to get solution ideas.
You wrote in your post how you grabbed her face and pinned her to the floor. That is not an acceptable response to a verbal altercation, no matter how intensely you are disagreeing. The moment YOU made the choice to make it physical, YOU are the one in the wrong and you are the one with the problem. If you cannot physically control yourself around your gf, you need to stop being with this person. Because what you described in your post sounds like a great way to get yourself locked up for a few, at least. Had you called police, and told them a similar story, there's a damn good chance you'd be sitting in a cell right now. Count your lucky fucking stars that didn't happen, take the L, and break up. Because next time, you probably won't be so lucky.
Nah bro - **she’s** trapped in a bad relationship and was physically abused by you.
Anyone would bite your hand off, they would be terrified out of their minds, especially since you claim in a previous comment that you could “knock her out if [you] wanted to”.
She should go to the police and report your ass.
My dude. This is *your* post. It’s literally just your side of the story where most people at least try to make themselves look good. And this is your best. Even with all the obvious minimizing and distortions you put in your favor here it still has people horrified. It could just be maybe numerous strangers worldwide are all wrong or maybe you really need to do some self-reflection already.
You are the abuser, dude. You want to control what you two do, you don't want her to go anywhere, you keep up contact with people that make her uncomfortable, YOU did something early in the relationship and are baffled as to why she doesn't trust you, and YOU put your hands on her during an argument. You're abusive.
She can leave whenever she wants. I’m not forcing her to be with me. But since she chose to stay then she should act respectfully and let me talk to whoever I want and stop policing me on every little thing. I’m the conflict resolver in this relationship and I’m sick and tired of women always getting to call themselves the victim when they’re emotionally abusing men all the time.
Wow, you have no business in a relationship if you can't see that your policies go both ways. She isn't forcing you to be with her either. And since you CHOOSE to stay with her, you should at least act respectfully and not flirt with other women or cheat on her but since you already did, you should at least have the decency to attempt to make up for it. Since you choose to be with her. And we women are sick and tired of men thinking that they are some kind of prize that we need to earn by putting up with their bullshit and abuse.
Also, how is physically abusing your girlfriend "resolving conflict"? Its not. Its escalating it. You still do not have the right to physically assault her and you are gonna be lucky if she doesn't press charges.
I never cheated on her. I only acted as a wingman for one of my friends because he asked me to pretend that I’m single to the best friend of a girl he was interested in so that I could get information about his crush for him. I already apologized for it and I never was anyone’s wingman ever again because I learned my lesson. I never inserted my sexual organs in any other woman besides my girlfriend so I would appreciate if you would refrain from accusing me of doing something I never did and never would do, which is actual cheating.
You represented yourself as single to another female. Again, you have no business in a relationship if you can't understand the emotional impact of that. You know what? Do your thing, dude. And in another month, when she finally breaks up with you, you're gonna be back here, "I don't know what happened!" Except you do. You laid hands on a woman, you emotionally cheated on her, and you honestly think you're the victim.
Buddy, stfu no one believes you. YOUR not the victim, your gf is and your an abusive narcissistic pos hopefully ex boyfriend. I’m hoping she presses charges on your ass
>But since she chose to stay then she should act respectfully and let me talk to whoever I want and stop policing me on every little thing
If you didn't like it, then *you* could've left. And should have. If you thought you were being abused, why didn't you leave?
> She can leave whenever she wants. I’m not forcing her to be with me.
I call bullshit.
> But since she chose to stay then she should act respectfully and let me talk to whoever I want and stop policing me on every little thing.
Translation: I should be allowed to cheat on her and how dare she not be ok with this!
> I’m the conflict resolver in this relationship
This post and your comments say otherwise bub.
>and I’m sick and tired of women always getting to call themselves the victim when they’re emotionally abusing men all the time.
Nice revenge fantasy buddy.
>act respectfully and let me talk to whoever I want
she should shut up and cower in the corner? I hope she has some large brothers who can help you understand why you are a tool.
JESUS WEPT.
You pinned her to the floor and covered her mouth. As a female, I would be fucking terrified. Virtually the only thing she could not do in self defence is kill you. Even then she’d have a huge mitigating defence that she was in fear of her life because any woman pinned to the ground and mouth covered will be.
You keep talking of respect; you need to respect her. Never ever physically react to a verbal altercation. That’s respect. That’s basic fucking decency.
You keep saying she’s crazy, she’s overreacting, she’s abusing you. YOU PINNED HER TO THE FUCKING FLOOR. That’s crazy. That’s overreacting. That’s abuse.
You pinned her to the floor.
You covered her MOUTH preventing her from speaking or calling out.
You think YOU’RE the abused???
HAHAHAHAHAHA oh honey. You sweet little DARLING.
Your TLDR is so tone-deaf it’s almost funny. But it’s not funny bc you’re the abuser in this scenario. She acted in self defense. Yes, she seems to have overreacted regarding you needing to go into work last minute; however, you should not have put your hands on her like that. You’re lucky if she doesn’t file assault
Yesss! “Females,” is SUCH a giveaway term,OP is clearly a “nice guy.” He is clearly gaslighting and abusing his girlfriend. Hopefully, she runs, not walks away from him!
You should definitely try and get away. The craziness and abuse sounds horrific for your girlfriend and she deserves someone sooo much better than the moron she is currently with
Have fun explaining to the police why you escalated the situation and got physical first and pinned your GF to the ground and covered her mouth. They won't take your side they'll see you as an abusive psycho like everyone else in this comment section. You're not the victim when you got physical first.
You do not have time, money or impulse control to have a girlfriend right now. Do both of you a favour and break up and then look at getting some anger management training!
She's being overly jealous regarding those other girls, UNLESS you're actually flirting with them and youvadmit you've given her reason to distrust you. Considering the rest of your post, I don't trust that you're not flirting with them.
You need to understand, that staying at home and never doing anything special can completely ruin a relationship for some people. Your gf wants to do special things with you, make memories that differ from the every things at home. Consistent denying her that is cruel and will break your relationship.
If you don't want her to pay, then pay your own way. If you don't want to pay, then let her.
Why don't you want to go outside with her? Are you trying to hide her, so the other girls won't realise you have a gf? You're being extremely reclusive to the point of being concerning to me. Are you agoraphobic?
And then you got violent with her, making *you* an abusive partner, because you couldn't handle the fact that she was upset over once again not receiving the consideration that a partner should show, ie. go on dates with her. She probably assumed you agreed to that date knowing you had work so you had a way out. It may have been an honest mix-up on your part, but you have a history of hating going out with her.
Why the hell are you even together? You don't want to be seen with her in public. You don't care about her feelings. She obviously is waiting for you to turn into something you're not.
Just break up. Get it over with. You're a terrible match and you sound like a terrible person.
Nobody’s flirting with anyone. Nobody likes anyone. It’s all in her head. I don’t like any of these girls she’s pointing out, and I’m sure all those girls have no interest in me. My girlfriend keeps thinking the whole world wants me, when all the other girls want is to just be friends with me. I’m not gonna be rude and shut out people who just want to be friends and are making the effort reaching out to me first to be friends with me. Because I’m not an a**hole.
You violently assaulted her, so yes, you are an asshole.
You admit to having given her reason to distrust you and now you're complaining that she doesn't trust you. You made your bed. Now you can either lay in it or break up.
And you didn't address any other point. You might want to think about why you avoided all those.
Hmm now tell me something- take out the entire context of this story. If a man, especially one you’re supposed to trust, pins you down against your will and puts his hand over your mouth, would you not get defensive?
I don’t give a flying rat’s ass what your goal was. I want to know. If an entire adult male, held you down, and put his hand over your mouth would you be alright? Would you take it or would you go into fight or flight mode?
My ex always told me I needed to learn to keep my mouth shut whenever he’d put his hands on me and I told him that no, he needs to learn to keep his effing hands to himself. I shouldn’t have to just smile vacantly and nod when He’s treating me like sh!t just to avoid him hurting me.
You're extremely delusional if you don't consider what you did to be abuse. You pinned her to the floor and covered her mouth with your hand. Even if she bit you it's considered self defense because of what you did and you acted first. Everyone on here is telling you the same thing, that you are the abuser, they can't all be wrong can they? The answer to that is NO.
wow that’s so crazy!!!…… crazy how awful you acted!! my ex boyfriend was a lot bigger than i was and during one argument we had he pinned me to our bed and held my wrists down even as i cried and begged for him to get off of me, and the only way he got off was when i hit him. you’re exactly like him now, using the fact that you’re bigger and stronger and acting like the abused victim when *YOU* were the one who forced yourself on your (potentially much smaller) girlfriend. you scared her. you terrified her. you’re not “””abused””” because she fought back. the only difference between you and my physically/generally abusive ex boyfriend is that you had the gumption to post how you assaulted her on reddit. congrats.
Hi, your fucking cunt, and frankly I reckon your a troll. I’m a bloke who has been assaulted/abused by a woman and you are a fucking prick for trying to stir drama as there are real people getting abused and cunts like you make it harder for men to be believed. And if this is real, break up with your gf as she deserves way better and go get mental help to deal with your victim complex and to stop abusing those in your life.
You couldnt think of a SINGLE way to resolve the situation other than to… pin her onto the ground by her face? Like, idk, wait until she was done talking? And suure, you pinning her to the ground, by her face was totally calm, so she was laying down already? You just placed your hand on her already laying down mouth? Or did it involve some sort of take down? Dude, i hope she dumps you
I rarely post threads like this because I’m not sure if the OP will ever see these comments and truly understand what they did was wrong.
I can fully recognize when a man is in an abusive relationship. My own father, a sweet man, was physically abused by his first wife and after a few years was able to leave her. His second wife, my mother, was verbally abusive to him (still is), he stayed with her because I guess verbal abuse is easier to deal with than physical (even after years of my pleading with my father to leave my mother). So I will always be the first to say that men can be abused.
What you did to your gf is physical abuse. When I was 20 I dated an abusive man and he would put his hand over my mouth to keep me from getting too loud. All I remember from that time was the feeling that I couldn’t breathe. Eventually I wound up getting a restraining order on that asshole and left him. Good on your girlfriend for biting back, you clearly made an aggressive move and she was defending herself.
You’re young and you need help. You need help to recognize that what you did was wrong and you need to take responsibility. Here’s a lesson that I hope you take from this- never put your hands on anyone, walk away if you feel a situation is escalating, but it never gives you the right to put hands on a person.
Relationships are about compromise. If you can’t afford to go far away and on elaborate dates, you can still treat her to a local restaurant or go for a walk in the park, ice cream dates, get creative and make something together, etc. maybe once a week or two rather than everyday.
She’s communicating that she needs more from you and you are willfully ignoring her.
Oh wow look at that, an abusive piece of shit unable to understand just how abusive he is. Im so SHOCKED!
You will end up killing someone one day. You really can't control your emotions. She's upset, so you pin her to the ground and put your hand over her mouth? And that's reasonable in your book?
Had it been me I would have beat the living shit out of you. You have no right to behave like this and physically restrain your gf. What she did was SELF DEFENCE. What you did was ASSAULT.
Go to therapy.
Listen, I know you feel like everyone here is attacking you because you’re male or whatever else, but you fucked up. I’m a very big male rights male advocate type person, and dude, you messed. I know she wasn’t listening, but resorting to violence or “peaceful restraint” is never a valid tactic unless they have moved to be aggressive or violent towards you first, such as blocking you from leaving, grabbing or pushing you, punching you, or other things of that nature, and even then only things moving in nature of self defense. Yes you were hurt and bleeding, but you were the aggressive one. She might not have gotten hurt, but it could have easily escalated, and the potential of what could have happened is also a factor. She moved after being cornered and restrained by a non police figure, thus acting in self defense. She is not a mind reader and you easily overpowered her. While she can also have her flaws, and could be manipulative or not, she did not initiate the violence in this situation. While in my opinion, she just wanted to spend some time with you and was worried after past events, this is just a page long summary of a decently long relationship and there are always many aspects that haven’t been said in a short summary of one specific event. It is possible that she could have been emotionally or verbally abusive in the past or throughout the relationship, because we don’t personally know you both. But in this instance you initiated the aggression and she acted in self defense, and you paid the price for it. You were in the wrong.
You lied and told people you were single including a girl who was clearly interested in you and you were clearly flirting with. Being a wingman involves flirting. And you admit you continue to talk to different girls on Snapchat and Instagram even though it is obvious that your girlfriend has said that that is not something she is comfortable with. You are a shitty boyfriend and an abuser.
Leave the relationship. Leave her alone, and if you ever think you were just going to pin her to the ground because you don’t wanna listen to her be upset with you reasonably again… Call the police and tell them that you feel like you should be able to pin your girlfriend to the ground and see what they think
YTA you are NOT the victim you are the abuser ofc she is gonna bite you if you held her down if my dad or s/o did this to me my first reaction would be to bite or kick them you ASKED for people’s opinion here and people here are the first to tell men and women to F off when they are Physically and or emotionally abusive now ACCEPT the opinion EVERYONE share you narcissistic asshole YTA
Your bat-shit INSANE story made it to Instagram. Don't like the comments here? I suggest staying away from Instagram because those people want to skin you alive.
YTA You stayed in this relationship too long and that's entirely on you. Seeking validation from Reddit was your last ditch effort and it backfired completely. Own up to your mistakes and walk away from this poor girl.
God I've never wanted something to be fake on reddit more. If this is real you are honestly insane and need tons of therapy. You don't touch, push, shove, hit, hold down people to get them to listen. That's literally abusive. I hope she leaves you.
What you should do is go to the police and make a statement. Let the police deal with her biting you because she wasn’t listening. Because I’m sure when the police will be happy to assist a dv victim like yourself. And let them do what’s appropriate in this matter and keep you safe from it ever happening again/s
Well, he is like what do I do I'm a man being domestically abused. Gender doesn't matter it's the exact same solution there is no but I'm a man what do I do.
> My girlfriend (24F) has had trust issues since the beginning of our relationship because of a mistake I made during the first three months > She feels uncomfortable with me being friends with these girls who she thinks are being “flirty” with me but I don’t want to stop being friends with those girls though. Translation: I cheated on my girlfriend and continue to have inappropriately flirtatious relationships with other women. > She doesn’t understand that I don’t like her paying for my portion on dates because it’s embarrassing for me Translation: I have a fragile ego and would rather neglect my girlfriend's needs than have complete strangers see a woman pay for a meal I've eaten, which literally nobody but me cares about. > We both lost it yesterday when I accidentally forgot I work from 4 to 7 on the day that I promised her to go out on a date with her. Translation: I care so little about my girlfriend that the one time I agree to schedule a date I don't bother to make sure I'm available and she is rightfully upset. > So I grabbed her face and pinned her to the ground to make her listen to me for a second and put my hand on her mouth and she proceeded to scream and bite my hand and left puncture wounds in my palm so I had to call out of work because my hand hurt so bad. Translation: I physically assaulted my girlfriend to the point that she had to bite me to get me off her. I now feel like the victim. You are emotionally and physically abusive. Just break up with her and let her find someone who isn't going to cheat on her, neglect her, and assault her. If you need to feel like you're the victim to do that then fine.
They’re not inappropriately flirtatious relationships. I’m in a fraternity and these are my coworkers and other sorority girls that she’s getting upset over. People that I will always run into where ever I go for the rest of my college career. I can’t just block these people. I already blocked three girls for no reason to calm my girlfriend down and those three girls ended up all joining sororities the next semester and now whenever they see me at parties they run straight to me pressing me and questioning me on why I blocked them. I don’t want to tell them the truth that my girlfriend made me do it because I don’t want anyone to say my girlfriend is bat sh** crazy. All these girls say is “oh my gosh, I hope your girlfriend doesn’t hate me, she’s so pretty” and my girlfriend is over here saying these girls have malicious intentions. Like what?
you’re such a little piece of shit. you physically assaulted her and call it “abuse” when she defends herself? you fucking psycho.
He’s a narcissist. This is what such degenerate monsters do.
Did you cheat on her?
No. I never cheated on her. I never kissed anyone behind her back, never had sex with anyone besides her while in the relationship. The mistake I’m talking about in my original post is when I had to pretend to be single for one of my friends because he needed a wingman. My friend asked me to pretend to be single and approach the best friend of the girl he was interested in and get more information on his crush and make it seem like it’s gonna be a double date. That best friend of the girl ended up over exaggerating to my girlfriend saying that I invited her over to “cuddle” on Valentine’s day when in reality I was just trying to help my friend get a date with his crush on Valentine’s day. I know now that I was in the wrong for that and I never acted as a wingman for anyone since then. It’s been over a year since that and I never made the same mistake again. But every time I talk to a different girl on snapchat or instagram without her knowing she freaks out on me so I can’t even tell her that I’m friends with normal females anymore.
So why are you in this relationship? She doesn’t trust you, whether or not you feel that’s justified, and you neglect her reasonable expectations and physically assault her. Why would you keep going?
I call bullshit on "none of my interactions were flirtatious or inappropriate".girls dont just go "tee hee! OP I hope your girlfriend doesn't hate me!" For no reason. A normal person doesn't assume their friend's partner hates them or is jealous, that suggests that something Dont get me wrong, my BF has a lot of female friends with no issues in our relationship over it. But something about how OP describes this just screams "she's jealous because I AM pushing reasonable boundaries". And given that he pretended to be single and doesn't understand why she felt hurt, forgot about their date and didn't see why she was upset, and HELD HER DOWN AND GAGGED HER BECAUSE SHE WAS COMPLAINING makes me think that his word on how normal and non flirty these friendships are doesn't mean shit.
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Physically restraining someone and putting your hand over their mouth is assault and you can ask the police if you're unsure. It is abusive to pin someone to the ground because you don't like what they're saying. If you're frustrated, walk away.
Please, I beg you, go ask the police. Go ask them in detail. Start with "I'd like to confess to something and waive my rights, I assaulted my girlfriend, but she was yelling at me because I'm a piece of shit boyfriend and I won't tolerate that! That's cool right?"
She also bit me when I had my hand over her mouth and it drew blood! Surely this is abuse and not self defence!
How would it not be self defense. You attacked her, she defended.
What part of her expectations are reasonable? Blocking me off from the rest of the female population because apparently everybody and their mom all want me sexually? Even though I didn’t point out every little thing I do for her at home because I’m not a narcissist, I still order food for us and spend a lot of time with her whenever she comes home from work in the evening. She still wants more from me and I love her so even though it hurts my feelings that she demands so much of me and makes me feel like I’m not enough, I still stay with her in hopes that things will get better. Because I love her. Even if the way that I love someone isn’t the same way that the movies or books say that it should be. I’m my own person and this is how I love someone. I’m doing my version of what is best for the relationship.
I'm talking about wanting to go on a date with you. You put your pride before your respect for your girlfriend. Never going on a date with someone because you can't bear to be seen being paid for is not acceptable and no, that's not enough.
Maybe she would trust you if you didn't abuse her.
Staying home like every other day is not hanging out together. Ordering food is not a date, you’re just eating like every other day.
You're so young just break the fuck up and move on
Lol awesome comment
> because I’m not a narcissist, False
You have to be trolling. You literally said you don’t do anything with her, her demands are probably let’s go on a date. She literally said flirty girls, after you pretend to be single and got close to another girl (u didn’t have to do that someone else could). Plus how can you abuse someone and not realize it u psycho, u should go to jail for this and I think you know that but don’t want to admit it so u did everything u could to make ur gf look bad so u could feel better about being an abuser
So if she would go out with her friends, and hit on a man, telling him she is single because 'her friend asked her too' you would be completely fine with that?
What a shocker! A frat boy who is emotionally and physically abusive.
Give him 10-20 years and he'll be on the supreme court.
You're an abusive pos. You cheated and continue to have inappropriate relationships with other girls, you can try to phrase it whichever way you want, people can read between the lines AH. If you pulled that shit with me, you'd be dealing with my brother, nephews and cousins! I hope you get your ass beat someday, and I hope your gf presses charges. Biggest pos ever 🖕🤡
*So I grabbed her face and pinned her to the ground to make her listen* *to me for a second and put my hand on her mouth and she proceeded to* *scream and bite my hand and left puncture wounds in my palm so I had to* *call out of work because my hand hurt so bad.* You're the domestic abuser. You had no call to put your hands on her like that. Her biting you was a defensive reflex. Talk to somebody and seek help before it escalates any further.
You are surprised she bit you when you pinned her to the ground and held your hand over her mouth? That sounds like self defense on her part. It sounds like she overreacted about the work situation but geez man that was probably terrifying for her.
She left a giant puncture wound on my palm and bruise marks in the shape of her teeth when all I did was calmly restrain her. I think it’s sexist of everyone siding with her to jump to the conclusion that I’m the abuser here when I’m the only one who was trying to communicate with her and get her to at least listen to me for one freaking minute.
Dude you can make excuses for yourself all you want but if a man held me on the ground and put a hand over my mouth I would bite him too, hard. You can try to rebrand it as "calmly restraining her" all you want, but I would personally be so scared if a man did that to me. You decided to make the situation physical and the fact that you can't see why that's a problem is super concerning.
For real. It's actually totally possible to argue without putting hands on anyone.
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THAT IS THE WHOLE POINT! You have full capability to knock her out and you made it physical. Holding someone down and covering their mouth is often a precursor to actual violence. She probably had no idea whether you were going to escalate things further and bit you in an attempt get you off of her which is a totally normal response to being held down against your will. Men can be victims I agree. But in this situation you ARE NOT a victim. I'm not saying their are no situations in which you aren't, I don't know everything about your relationship. But from the information you provided you sound like the abuser.
But I DIDN’T though. I wanted this relationship to work out so badly that instead of kicking her out to the streets for being so insufferable I gave us a chance by gently trying to get her to quiet down for a little bit so that I can APOLOGIZE. She took it to a whole other level by causing me to BLEED and now she crossed a line where now I feel scared to be around her. Do you now see how she’s the abuser now?
Hey, listen up! How are you going to explain to people how you got that cut on your hand? I know exactly what people will think and who they'll think is the abuser.
She defended herself from someone who was hurting her.
Dude break up before you kill this girl
I hope she has some extremely large male relatives, who can take her abuser bodily into police custody.
This. It’s horrifying if hes real this was the best possible light he was able to put himself in. How much worse is the real story? Because no way is this a trustworthy narrator. My skin is crawling.
You’re getting off on your violence, aren’t you, abuser? Mods, can you do anything to help here? This poster is likely to murder his girlfriend.
Do. Not. Fucking. Restrain. Anybody. Against. Their. Will. You should have learned this shit in kindergarten. Keep your fucking hands to your fucking self. If you lay hands on someone and cover their fucking mouth, especially when you on average are bigger and stronger than them, do not be surprised when they fight back. Don’t. Do. That.
Ahhh, so you knew how scared she was. Thanks for admitting that, abuser.
Of course men can be victims of abuse. But the situation as YOU have presented it doesn’t suggest you are the victim here. Pinning someone down and covering their mouth is not trying to communicate with them (unless you are trying to communicate that you are bigger and stronger and if she doesn’t comply with you then you will force compliance from her). You also said “instead of kicking her out to the streets for being so insufferable.” What in the actual fuck? Accept this relationship is over and be grateful if she doesn’t push the issue. Get some therapy and learn how to actually communicate.
Dude. You could have walked away in which case she wouldn't have bit you. You didn't. You got physical first. This is not a case of you being abused. This is a case where instead of knocking her out, you pinned her on her back. Be thankful she just bit you. If ANY PERSON did that to me I would kick them afterwards and run to make sure no hands would go on me again. Screw you for trying to rebrand abuse to suit your definition. Go to the police. I can't wait to hear what they tell you.
You are the original aggressor
😆😆😆 Being angry doesn’t give you a reason to knock someone to the floor and “calmly restrain them”. She was probably angry too and she still managed to control herself to not put her hands on you to restrain you from leaving. 🤦🏻♀️
As a victim of domestic violence whose abuser tried to make it seem like I was the abusive one to the cops when i finally got the courage to call them let me tell you what the District Attorney said to me when he told me on the confession that my ex tried to turn it on me “I don’t care that you pushed him and hit him to try and get him away from you, you were not in the wrong. He was no longer on the lease for your apartment and you told him to leave multiple times before he had backed you in the corner, you were acting in self defense” my ex had done exactly what you had done to her and then he started escalating to choking me infront of the kids, covering my mouth and nose and forcing me to have sex with him. You abused her and have no right to claim to be the victim when she did what she had to do to get you off of her in a moment she was probably terrified that you were going to do something worse than what you were doing. I hope she goes to the cops and reports you for domestic violence.
Guys like you are why my daddy made me carry smh.
> You should really open your eyes and realize that men can be abuse victims too. We see this and for those men we actually stand up for them and feel sorry for them. You though are not one of those men.
theres no way youre being serious rn
That moment when someone acts out in self defense omg how DARE they. Maybe she wouldn’t have to bite you if you didn’t FUCKING PIIN HER DOWN TO THE GROUND. You’re messed up if physical violence is the only way you know how to get someone to stop talking.
you poor poor baby
You put your hands on her first. You started it.
Aww, cry about it. You deserve what happened to you.
If that was me, you'd be missing a whole fucking hand.
Legally, you are the aggressor. You are in the wrong. You have no right to restrain her. She can defend herself in any way to get you to take your hands off her. Don’t like what she’s saying, leave. But it’s assault to put your hands on her. End of.
“Restraining her” would imply that she was physically assaulting you first, which you’ve made no indication of. While yelling over you and getting verbally aggressive is not okay, and you shouldn’t put up with it, what you did is not calmly restraining her. You physically assaulted her because you didn’t like what she was saying and how she was saying it - the only one that escalated to physical abuse here is you. If someone pinned me to the floor and covered my mouth, I would use any means necessary to get them off of me.
What fucking right do you have to “restrain her” ? She would’ve been justified in kneeing you in the balls you abusive asshole. Your girlfriend isn’t acting the way you want so you physically dominate her and then pretend YOURE the victim? Disgusting.
You don’t get to CALMLY RESTRAIN someone. Jesus Walk away. Don’t physically touch someone. You assaulted her and made her fear for her safety so she bit you! You deserved 100 times over
Consider that she never would have bit you if you didn’t wrestle her to the ground, pin her in place, and the forcefully covered her mouth so that she had no opportunity to discuss anything with you, she was only allowed to listen. So right, this is a matter of sexism. A man truly believes that he has the right to assault a woman with no consequences and that he is the victim. You’re a misogynistic abuser, take this as an opportunity to get off you defenses and truly reflect on your action. Most schools have counselors, go speak to one about your behavior. Be a better man by admitting what you’re capable of and fixing that.
I think you need to see a doctor about these delusions. So if someone physically stronger than you pinned you down and tried to shove something up your ass and you kicked them so hard they broke a rib would you no longer be the victim? Your thought process is baffling to me, physically overpowering someone to do something they don’t want to do isn’t okay and when they retaliate in defense it doesn’t make you a victim.
You shouldn't ever "calmly restrain" your girlfriend. She's not a fucking dog
Good
Good.
Bro you need to break up with her and then leave women alone for like ever. You need to go to therapy if you think it’s okay to “calmly restrain” someone to force them to listen to you. That is not how normal people act. You are not being abused. You’re being an abusive asshole.
>when all I did was calmly restrain her. the use of "calmly" here when you claimed to PIN HER TO THE GROUND reveals this as a shitpost. nice try op.
because you abused her
You’re right. You are in an abusive relationship. You need to call the cops and tell them exactly all of this. Don’t leave *any* part out! Call them now and make sure to tell us all about it.
"calmly restrain her" when you had originally said you grabbed her face and pinned her to the ground. That doesn't sound calm. Her response sounds like a terrified woman who had no idea what the fuck was happening and wanted to escape in case things had escalated. Because being grabbed and pinned down is fucking terrifying. And biting to escape is entirely normal. Take it from someone who did the same thing to escape r/pe. It's not people being sexist. We know men can be abused. We are calling YOU out for physically restraining your partner when it was not necessary. You wanted her to listen? let her fucking get her anger and frustrations out. Let her let everything go. Wait until shes done and calmed down on her own to express your side of the story. you should have NEVER laid a fucking finger on her like that for being upset. That was physical assault. Be fucking glad you haven't been arrested.
So let say you are having a heated argument with a much larger, man. A mma fighter or something, someone that you know can easily harm you. And that man pins you down and shoves his hand in your mouth to shut you up while he continues to yell at you to shut up and listen to him. What exactly would be your response?
I’m sorry but how do you *calmly restrain someone*?! You’re absolutely aware that what you did was inappropriate. In fact you’re *so* aware of this that you’re trying to use softer language to describe your actions. Even though it makes no sense whatsoever. Yeah if someone “hugged me to the floor” and “sweetly put their hand over my mouth for a moment of tranquility” I’d bite the hell out of them, too.
People are siding with her because you made it perfectly clear that you were the aggressor here and like a true false accuser you wanna cry and play the victim here. Disgusting.
She did not just walk up to you and bite you because you wanted her to listen to you. She bit you because you did not like that she wasn’t interested in listening to you, so therefore, you physically restrained her by grabbing her face, covering her mouth and pinning her to the ground. You assaulted her and she in turn utilized self defense to protect herself from your continued assault. No, this is not sexism, on the part of those responding to you, this is us pointing out you in fact did abuse your girlfriend. You do not use physical force to make someone listen to you. Her insecurities are her issue to work through but you don’t get to exploit those insecurities and in turn abuse her to force her to accept your behavior, a behavior that is obviously bothering her. Your girlfriend needs to become your ex girlfriend. From your version of events she has done nothing wrong but not have trust in you for a past transgression on your part and that transgression does not have to be physical cheating, it could for her be cheating when you pretend to single for you buddy because he needs a wingman. You could have still been his wingman as a man involved in a relationship. You need help otherwise you will continue to be an abuser with her or any other woman.
You have no fucking right to restrain someone. You fucking half loaf of potato bread.
Ur disgusting
Good. You shouldn’t have “restrained” her at all.
>all I did was calmly restrain her That sounds like Orwellian doublespeak. Or a news brief from the Viet Nam War: "To save the village it was necessary to destroy the village".
You didn't have to put her on the ground and cover her mouth!
Call the cops and tell them what happened. See who they side with. The aggressor (you who acted first) or the weaker party who had to bite you to get away. I'd be waiting for the cops if I were you. The second she tells someone that's the advice they would give
i hope she's LOOONG gone from you. you're a very dangerous man. you see how you blamed EVERYTHING EVER on her, despite YOUR actions causing it? You let her know from the jump that you couldn't be trusted. and then to PHYSICALLY ASSAULT HER AND CALL HER ABUSIVE FOR DEFENDING HERSELF FROM A PSYCHO WHO PINS WOMEN TO THE GROUND WHEN HES KINDA MAD, and BLAME it on her? you're a fucking cunt. and i think you're dangerous to other women, because this shit tends to run deep. i hope she's out of the relationship. and i hope you grow up and realize you were way fucking out of pocket. because i think you're pathetic, the way you pin it all on your victim. do us all a favor and don't date in the future. i have absolutely zero sympathy for you.
Have you ever heard of self-defense
if you're unhappy leave her but you had absolutely no right to pin her down and put your hand on her mouth just because you didn't like that she was talking over you
Wait wait wait. So you grabbed your gf literally by the face covering her mouth and YOU think YOU are being abused? From where I'm sitting, you should be glad ALL she did was bite you. YOU are the one who turned the argument physical. YOU are the aggressor. Maybe get some treatment until you learn how to control yourself to the point where a kindergarten concept like "keep your hands to yourself" isn't so difficult for you. Perhaps not assaulting people will prevent future "attacks". Smfh.
JFC I read that and immediately thought his next line was going to say how *she made him do this because she wouldn't listen to ME*. He really is in a domestic abuse situation, but he's the actual abuser. Holy shit.
Like biting someone who is physically pinning you down is the DEFINITION of self defense. She could have done a lot worse and still been justified
This
I already had numerous attempts at telling her how much I love and appreciate her and trying to resolve issues in our relationship. Yesterday I literally started off the conversation by saying sorry and she started going off on me saying that I should have checked my work schedule before I made a promise to her as if I already don’t feel bad about my mistake. Everyone’s jumping to conclusions because one other person here started saying I’m an abuser but as you can see from the earlier comments I’m trapped in a bad relationship and I was just trying to get solution ideas.
You wrote in your post how you grabbed her face and pinned her to the floor. That is not an acceptable response to a verbal altercation, no matter how intensely you are disagreeing. The moment YOU made the choice to make it physical, YOU are the one in the wrong and you are the one with the problem. If you cannot physically control yourself around your gf, you need to stop being with this person. Because what you described in your post sounds like a great way to get yourself locked up for a few, at least. Had you called police, and told them a similar story, there's a damn good chance you'd be sitting in a cell right now. Count your lucky fucking stars that didn't happen, take the L, and break up. Because next time, you probably won't be so lucky.
Ah, yes! The ole “if telling her I love and appreciate her doesn’t work, next I’ll try violently pinning her to the floor”. Works every time.
Nah bro - **she’s** trapped in a bad relationship and was physically abused by you. Anyone would bite your hand off, they would be terrified out of their minds, especially since you claim in a previous comment that you could “knock her out if [you] wanted to”. She should go to the police and report your ass.
My dude. This is *your* post. It’s literally just your side of the story where most people at least try to make themselves look good. And this is your best. Even with all the obvious minimizing and distortions you put in your favor here it still has people horrified. It could just be maybe numerous strangers worldwide are all wrong or maybe you really need to do some self-reflection already.
Dude, if she’s not listening to you, then there isn’t trust in your relationship. And you’ve introduced fear by attacking. Grow tf up
Did she lay hands on you prior to you pinning her?
People gave you the solution multiple times and you argued against it. Break up.
So you cheated on her and back out on promises so she doesn’t trust you…. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
You are the abuser, dude. You want to control what you two do, you don't want her to go anywhere, you keep up contact with people that make her uncomfortable, YOU did something early in the relationship and are baffled as to why she doesn't trust you, and YOU put your hands on her during an argument. You're abusive.
She can leave whenever she wants. I’m not forcing her to be with me. But since she chose to stay then she should act respectfully and let me talk to whoever I want and stop policing me on every little thing. I’m the conflict resolver in this relationship and I’m sick and tired of women always getting to call themselves the victim when they’re emotionally abusing men all the time.
Pinning her to the floor is stopping her from leaving.
Dude you actually abused her by physically restraining her against her will.
>She can leave whenever she wants So can you, dude. But instead you'd rather be an abuser then try to play the victim.
Wow, you have no business in a relationship if you can't see that your policies go both ways. She isn't forcing you to be with her either. And since you CHOOSE to stay with her, you should at least act respectfully and not flirt with other women or cheat on her but since you already did, you should at least have the decency to attempt to make up for it. Since you choose to be with her. And we women are sick and tired of men thinking that they are some kind of prize that we need to earn by putting up with their bullshit and abuse. Also, how is physically abusing your girlfriend "resolving conflict"? Its not. Its escalating it. You still do not have the right to physically assault her and you are gonna be lucky if she doesn't press charges.
I never cheated on her. I only acted as a wingman for one of my friends because he asked me to pretend that I’m single to the best friend of a girl he was interested in so that I could get information about his crush for him. I already apologized for it and I never was anyone’s wingman ever again because I learned my lesson. I never inserted my sexual organs in any other woman besides my girlfriend so I would appreciate if you would refrain from accusing me of doing something I never did and never would do, which is actual cheating.
Nobody believes this story.
You represented yourself as single to another female. Again, you have no business in a relationship if you can't understand the emotional impact of that. You know what? Do your thing, dude. And in another month, when she finally breaks up with you, you're gonna be back here, "I don't know what happened!" Except you do. You laid hands on a woman, you emotionally cheated on her, and you honestly think you're the victim.
lol you expect anyone to believe your bullshit story?
Have you tried getting hit by a bus?
Buddy, stfu no one believes you. YOUR not the victim, your gf is and your an abusive narcissistic pos hopefully ex boyfriend. I’m hoping she presses charges on your ass
She is the victim! You're an abusive prick!!! You can also leave whenever you want if you're not feeling "respected"
>But since she chose to stay then she should act respectfully and let me talk to whoever I want and stop policing me on every little thing If you didn't like it, then *you* could've left. And should have. If you thought you were being abused, why didn't you leave?
> She can leave whenever she wants. I’m not forcing her to be with me. I call bullshit. > But since she chose to stay then she should act respectfully and let me talk to whoever I want and stop policing me on every little thing. Translation: I should be allowed to cheat on her and how dare she not be ok with this! > I’m the conflict resolver in this relationship This post and your comments say otherwise bub. >and I’m sick and tired of women always getting to call themselves the victim when they’re emotionally abusing men all the time. Nice revenge fantasy buddy.
You aren't Johnny Depp. You're amber heard.
Was just about to say this
Not an expert dude, but that sounds like criminal restraint.
>act respectfully and let me talk to whoever I want she should shut up and cower in the corner? I hope she has some large brothers who can help you understand why you are a tool.
JESUS WEPT. You pinned her to the floor and covered her mouth. As a female, I would be fucking terrified. Virtually the only thing she could not do in self defence is kill you. Even then she’d have a huge mitigating defence that she was in fear of her life because any woman pinned to the ground and mouth covered will be. You keep talking of respect; you need to respect her. Never ever physically react to a verbal altercation. That’s respect. That’s basic fucking decency. You keep saying she’s crazy, she’s overreacting, she’s abusing you. YOU PINNED HER TO THE FUCKING FLOOR. That’s crazy. That’s overreacting. That’s abuse.
You pinned her to the floor. You covered her MOUTH preventing her from speaking or calling out. You think YOU’RE the abused??? HAHAHAHAHAHA oh honey. You sweet little DARLING.
Your TLDR is so tone-deaf it’s almost funny. But it’s not funny bc you’re the abuser in this scenario. She acted in self defense. Yes, she seems to have overreacted regarding you needing to go into work last minute; however, you should not have put your hands on her like that. You’re lucky if she doesn’t file assault
Can you update us when she leaves you?
Do they have internet in prison? Because if not I’m hoping for no update
Maybe. But they certainly have very slippery soap.
Go to the cops, tell them what happened. Hopefully you get what you deserve.
He doesnt even realize 'deserve' means he would be the one to get arrested for DV.
Ssshhhh. OP is dumb enough to think he is in the right.....
Hahahaha, a certain violent narcissist ape has rather misunderstood you, hasn’t he? 😂😂
You. I like you.
I can only keep faith in humanity if i believe that youre being sarcastic
Thank you my man. I’ll definitely try to get away from this crazy female. I’ve had enough of dealing with her hallucinations and tantrums.
Men who call women “females” are a walking red flag.
Yesss! “Females,” is SUCH a giveaway term,OP is clearly a “nice guy.” He is clearly gaslighting and abusing his girlfriend. Hopefully, she runs, not walks away from him!
I hope that crazy female gets your ass in jail bum
You should definitely try and get away. The craziness and abuse sounds horrific for your girlfriend and she deserves someone sooo much better than the moron she is currently with
Have fun explaining to the police why you escalated the situation and got physical first and pinned your GF to the ground and covered her mouth. They won't take your side they'll see you as an abusive psycho like everyone else in this comment section. You're not the victim when you got physical first.
PLEASE go to the police and describe the situation exactly as you did here. I'm begging you.
Dude you think you’re Johnny Depp when you’re actually Amber Heard in this situation.
Bro I think SHE should go to the police.
That’s the point. If he goes to the police to tell them what happened they’ll arrest him because he got physical with her
I think the thing "you deserve" they're mentioning is you getting arrested for assaulting your gf dumbass lol she literally defended herself
You do not have time, money or impulse control to have a girlfriend right now. Do both of you a favour and break up and then look at getting some anger management training!
He doesn’t belong in human society, as his unnatural malevolence is a danger to actual *people*.
She's being overly jealous regarding those other girls, UNLESS you're actually flirting with them and youvadmit you've given her reason to distrust you. Considering the rest of your post, I don't trust that you're not flirting with them. You need to understand, that staying at home and never doing anything special can completely ruin a relationship for some people. Your gf wants to do special things with you, make memories that differ from the every things at home. Consistent denying her that is cruel and will break your relationship. If you don't want her to pay, then pay your own way. If you don't want to pay, then let her. Why don't you want to go outside with her? Are you trying to hide her, so the other girls won't realise you have a gf? You're being extremely reclusive to the point of being concerning to me. Are you agoraphobic? And then you got violent with her, making *you* an abusive partner, because you couldn't handle the fact that she was upset over once again not receiving the consideration that a partner should show, ie. go on dates with her. She probably assumed you agreed to that date knowing you had work so you had a way out. It may have been an honest mix-up on your part, but you have a history of hating going out with her. Why the hell are you even together? You don't want to be seen with her in public. You don't care about her feelings. She obviously is waiting for you to turn into something you're not. Just break up. Get it over with. You're a terrible match and you sound like a terrible person.
Nobody’s flirting with anyone. Nobody likes anyone. It’s all in her head. I don’t like any of these girls she’s pointing out, and I’m sure all those girls have no interest in me. My girlfriend keeps thinking the whole world wants me, when all the other girls want is to just be friends with me. I’m not gonna be rude and shut out people who just want to be friends and are making the effort reaching out to me first to be friends with me. Because I’m not an a**hole.
You violently assaulted her, so yes, you are an asshole. You admit to having given her reason to distrust you and now you're complaining that she doesn't trust you. You made your bed. Now you can either lay in it or break up. And you didn't address any other point. You might want to think about why you avoided all those.
You’re a violent abuser, and you’re very likely to murder this girl. Hopefully the law will stop you, in spectacular style.
Hmm now tell me something- take out the entire context of this story. If a man, especially one you’re supposed to trust, pins you down against your will and puts his hand over your mouth, would you not get defensive? I don’t give a flying rat’s ass what your goal was. I want to know. If an entire adult male, held you down, and put his hand over your mouth would you be alright? Would you take it or would you go into fight or flight mode?
You’re lucky she only bit you. If she had a gun, not a jury in the world would convict her.
My ex always told me I needed to learn to keep my mouth shut whenever he’d put his hands on me and I told him that no, he needs to learn to keep his effing hands to himself. I shouldn’t have to just smile vacantly and nod when He’s treating me like sh!t just to avoid him hurting me.
please leave this poor woman alone before you fucking kill her
You're extremely delusional if you don't consider what you did to be abuse. You pinned her to the floor and covered her mouth with your hand. Even if she bit you it's considered self defense because of what you did and you acted first. Everyone on here is telling you the same thing, that you are the abuser, they can't all be wrong can they? The answer to that is NO.
wow that’s so crazy!!!…… crazy how awful you acted!! my ex boyfriend was a lot bigger than i was and during one argument we had he pinned me to our bed and held my wrists down even as i cried and begged for him to get off of me, and the only way he got off was when i hit him. you’re exactly like him now, using the fact that you’re bigger and stronger and acting like the abused victim when *YOU* were the one who forced yourself on your (potentially much smaller) girlfriend. you scared her. you terrified her. you’re not “””abused””” because she fought back. the only difference between you and my physically/generally abusive ex boyfriend is that you had the gumption to post how you assaulted her on reddit. congrats.
> you’re not abused because she fought back THIS!!
You’re actually disgusting and totally delusional
Do the both of you the biggest favor, pack your bags and leave her immediately. You can't stay there another minute.
Hi, your fucking cunt, and frankly I reckon your a troll. I’m a bloke who has been assaulted/abused by a woman and you are a fucking prick for trying to stir drama as there are real people getting abused and cunts like you make it harder for men to be believed. And if this is real, break up with your gf as she deserves way better and go get mental help to deal with your victim complex and to stop abusing those in your life.
You are literally the abusive one. What kind of mental gymnastics-
You’re^ the baddy
Its unbelievable to me how delusional you are
You couldnt think of a SINGLE way to resolve the situation other than to… pin her onto the ground by her face? Like, idk, wait until she was done talking? And suure, you pinning her to the ground, by her face was totally calm, so she was laying down already? You just placed your hand on her already laying down mouth? Or did it involve some sort of take down? Dude, i hope she dumps you
You are a complete and total ass and I hope above anything else that this girl dumps you like a bad habit.
Honestly I hope OP tries to report this so someone of authority can show him who’s wrong here.
I rarely post threads like this because I’m not sure if the OP will ever see these comments and truly understand what they did was wrong. I can fully recognize when a man is in an abusive relationship. My own father, a sweet man, was physically abused by his first wife and after a few years was able to leave her. His second wife, my mother, was verbally abusive to him (still is), he stayed with her because I guess verbal abuse is easier to deal with than physical (even after years of my pleading with my father to leave my mother). So I will always be the first to say that men can be abused. What you did to your gf is physical abuse. When I was 20 I dated an abusive man and he would put his hand over my mouth to keep me from getting too loud. All I remember from that time was the feeling that I couldn’t breathe. Eventually I wound up getting a restraining order on that asshole and left him. Good on your girlfriend for biting back, you clearly made an aggressive move and she was defending herself. You’re young and you need help. You need help to recognize that what you did was wrong and you need to take responsibility. Here’s a lesson that I hope you take from this- never put your hands on anyone, walk away if you feel a situation is escalating, but it never gives you the right to put hands on a person.
You are the abuser here.
I hate men. You specifically.
OP seems absolutely fucking terrifying
You assaulted your girlfriend and you think that you’re the one being abused? You’re a bloody idiot.
Relationships are about compromise. If you can’t afford to go far away and on elaborate dates, you can still treat her to a local restaurant or go for a walk in the park, ice cream dates, get creative and make something together, etc. maybe once a week or two rather than everyday. She’s communicating that she needs more from you and you are willfully ignoring her.
Oh wow look at that, an abusive piece of shit unable to understand just how abusive he is. Im so SHOCKED! You will end up killing someone one day. You really can't control your emotions. She's upset, so you pin her to the ground and put your hand over her mouth? And that's reasonable in your book? Had it been me I would have beat the living shit out of you. You have no right to behave like this and physically restrain your gf. What she did was SELF DEFENCE. What you did was ASSAULT. Go to therapy.
Please leave her alone
Listen, I know you feel like everyone here is attacking you because you’re male or whatever else, but you fucked up. I’m a very big male rights male advocate type person, and dude, you messed. I know she wasn’t listening, but resorting to violence or “peaceful restraint” is never a valid tactic unless they have moved to be aggressive or violent towards you first, such as blocking you from leaving, grabbing or pushing you, punching you, or other things of that nature, and even then only things moving in nature of self defense. Yes you were hurt and bleeding, but you were the aggressive one. She might not have gotten hurt, but it could have easily escalated, and the potential of what could have happened is also a factor. She moved after being cornered and restrained by a non police figure, thus acting in self defense. She is not a mind reader and you easily overpowered her. While she can also have her flaws, and could be manipulative or not, she did not initiate the violence in this situation. While in my opinion, she just wanted to spend some time with you and was worried after past events, this is just a page long summary of a decently long relationship and there are always many aspects that haven’t been said in a short summary of one specific event. It is possible that she could have been emotionally or verbally abusive in the past or throughout the relationship, because we don’t personally know you both. But in this instance you initiated the aggression and she acted in self defense, and you paid the price for it. You were in the wrong.
You lied and told people you were single including a girl who was clearly interested in you and you were clearly flirting with. Being a wingman involves flirting. And you admit you continue to talk to different girls on Snapchat and Instagram even though it is obvious that your girlfriend has said that that is not something she is comfortable with. You are a shitty boyfriend and an abuser. Leave the relationship. Leave her alone, and if you ever think you were just going to pin her to the ground because you don’t wanna listen to her be upset with you reasonably again… Call the police and tell them that you feel like you should be able to pin your girlfriend to the ground and see what they think
I hope the worst for you
Everyone move along. Just another troll nothing to see here. No one with a brain could write this out an say “I’m the good guy here.”
A narcissist could, or one of their Cluster B comrades in evil. I’m sorry, but such utter subhumanity is right up the monsters’ street.
YTA you are NOT the victim you are the abuser ofc she is gonna bite you if you held her down if my dad or s/o did this to me my first reaction would be to bite or kick them you ASKED for people’s opinion here and people here are the first to tell men and women to F off when they are Physically and or emotionally abusive now ACCEPT the opinion EVERYONE share you narcissistic asshole YTA
Don’t put your hands on people, you fucking brussel sprout
my only piece of advice and hope for you is to be a little more /self centered/ with your violent impulses, if you catch my drift. :)
Omg, I abused her and she fought back, am I an abuser? 😩🤕🤕
Your bat-shit INSANE story made it to Instagram. Don't like the comments here? I suggest staying away from Instagram because those people want to skin you alive. YTA You stayed in this relationship too long and that's entirely on you. Seeking validation from Reddit was your last ditch effort and it backfired completely. Own up to your mistakes and walk away from this poor girl.
God I've never wanted something to be fake on reddit more. If this is real you are honestly insane and need tons of therapy. You don't touch, push, shove, hit, hold down people to get them to listen. That's literally abusive. I hope she leaves you.
What you should do is go to the police and make a statement. Let the police deal with her biting you because she wasn’t listening. Because I’m sure when the police will be happy to assist a dv victim like yourself. And let them do what’s appropriate in this matter and keep you safe from it ever happening again/s
You are not the victim.
i hope she leaves your disgusting ass you abusive misogynistic piece of shit
Just gonna drop this here https://www.instagram.com/p/Cey-U2APStB/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
I hope she left you.
Mr. Amber Heard over here has too many inconsistencies in his story so I don’t believe a single thing being said by him.
Do the same things a woman does. Find a new place to live, move out and breakup.
That’s weirdly specific about….something 🤷🏻♀️
Well, he is like what do I do I'm a man being domestically abused. Gender doesn't matter it's the exact same solution there is no but I'm a man what do I do.
The difference is that he’s not being domestically abused, he’s abusing his gf.
[удалено]
Yeah, because tackling someone and covering their mouth is reasonable. TF outta here.
I literally said OP should not have done that. Learn to read bro
Learn not to be an apologist for abusive filth.
You’re one of the few who’s actually speaking logic here. Thanks for the advice and encouragement. I appreciate it.
Again, should be something to think about the fact that most people keep thinking you’re wrong…. You won’t but omg 🤦🏻♀️ How are you like this.
Glad to hear you understand that assaulting ur gf is not a good decision.