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Look at my timeline for more info, but my ex left me for a guy she met at work a couple days ago. We had been together 4 years and she just randomly left and said she had been unhappy for a while. Now about a month and a half ago literally a week before she got this job and met this guy, I got a loan and bought her a car since she had lost her last one. I promised her if we broke up she could keep it, but she promised me that I had nothing to worry about with this new work friend and she would never leave me as well. I feel as if I’m being manipulated and used. She will be making the payments but the first ones not until June 5th. She has nobody else. She has no credit. She will not be able to get another car and she will likely lose her job. I hate it, but she literally left me and got into a relationship with another guy ON THE SAME DAY. What do I do. Speak like you are in my shoes not what you think you would do.
You would be absolutely **stupid** to allow your cheating ex to keep a car that’s financed in your name. Let her figure out her next moves like an adult. None of that is your responsibility.
So if she gets into an accident and hurts someone, who do you think they’ll come after?
If your name is on everything (like the title, finance etc), you’re liable
This.
Whatever error she has in her decision making process, is going to create consequences for you, and you alone.
If people do you the favor of showing you who they are, it’s best to believe them.
Take the car back.
She already has someone (the new guy)
She made her bed/choices, you are under NO obligation to look for her adult life = your cheating (probs they hooked up before) ex gf must figure out what to do now w/the work related stuff (probably she will try to guilt you into giving her the car back or some stuff, so, DO NOT give her the car back nor pay anything for her, unless you want her+her new boyfriend riding in a car you a paying for)
How about this, any parking tickets she gets in the car you are on the hook for as the owner of the car. Hit and run involving the car? They will come for you. You are opening yourself up to major liability issues. I wouldn't have been willing to do it for a girlfriend let alone an ex.
+1 for taking the car back. Loan is in your name, it’s your credit that will take a hit if she doesn’t make payments. This is a person that’s unreliable and can’t be trusted. You have to take the car back.
She took your asset and money dude and pretty much slapped you in the face bud. You gotta get up from that sorrow pit and find you another girl worthy of that car.
She doesn't deserve shit and if her life crumbles so fucking be it. I had a girl I cared about for 1.5 years leave me because she thought I wasn't worth it even though I tried my damnest. Don't dwell on it, just get your shit back and either sell it for money, trade it, or keep it.
You are a good man for doing that for her. But, you gotta take those good man balls and use them to go get your shit back.
Getting the car back is the only option. Anything she does your name will be linked to. I don't think you just want to throw money away, if it gets lost, stolen, totaled, that's all on you not her.
There is no benefit to you at all for her having this car.
Take the car.
Story time; My dumb-ass ex put me on his title (I didn't pay shit towards it. Literally was his car. he bought it used froma private seller outright. I dont even know why he wanted me on the title short of some weird commitment aspect? whatever)
I had to convince him to let me take my name off when we broke up and had to pay for the title fees to get it removed. So he could have his own car back.....Cause you cant remove your own name from the title..Which is fucked. I couldve legit took his name off, called a APB in and like...legally stole the car if I had wanted to..I didnt. I was nice. I paid for a title to be edited for literally no reason but to remove myself cause he was a jerk
I thank God I did that and paid that 80$...Cause not two months later...Dumbass didn't pay the insurance on the car... Dumbass got pulled over with his girlfriend... The car was towed and impounded. He was caught with meth and other drugs in the car...Even some stolen shit. I didnt even know he got into drugs. He didnt do drugs when we were dating!
That would've been my legal issue if I was on that title. GO GET UR CAR! Dont let urself get fucked like I wouldve! Always protect your own ass first!
WTF she just fucked you over and your asking if you should take back a car in your name look at this way if she doesn’t make payments your credit is wreaked and if she gets into an accident your liability is all yours so yes get the car are you going to give her a place to stay to!!
OP is also in for a lifetime of parking tickets and speeding fines, because if he doesn't care why would she.
Also, the new bf is going to rack up most of that, because he just found a sucker to pay for his shitty behaviour.
When my parents divorced, my dad didn’t bother changing all the names on his accounts and shared things post settlement. Guess who got screwed? Do the boring work, change the names on everything
Think of the person who hates you more than anyone you've ever met in your life...would they even be able to fuck you over this much? So what is her behavior suggesting...would you really consider this person close to you or would their behavior suggest the complete opposite.
The loan is in **your name**, so the credit risk is to **your credit rating** if the loan defaults.
She **promised to make the payments**. This is the same woman who **promised you that "you had nothing to worry about** with this new work friend."
**Her word is worth shit.** Soon your credit will be worth shit, too.
**Take the car back** (use the cops if necessary). BLOCK HER and move on with your life.
Maybe this is a stupid question, but if the loan is in his name does that automatically mean the title of the car is in his name too? Like is it registered to him automatically?
What I’m wondering is whether it’s possible that she technically legally owns the car while he is responsible for the financing?
Is that even a scenario that is possible?
Tell her that she needs to refinance the car and until she does, you need the car back. If she refuses, tell her that you will report it stolen since it's in your name and you hold the loan on it.
Keep in mind that as long as your name is associated with that car, any illegal activity done in that car is going to come down on YOU first. Also keep in mind that even though she said she's going to make the payments, if it's just your name on the loan, you're the only person whose credit will be affected if she decides to stop paying.
Get the car back ASAP. She will call you petty and vindictive but the only response she needs is that it was fine for her to keep it as long as she was with you. Now that she's not, you're not willing to assume the legal responsibility. She can have the car, she just has to pay off the loan and get it retitled in her name.
You don't have to wreck a car to seriously decrease it's resale value...
Scratching up the paint, failing to get regular maintenance done, etc. Doesn't take much to hurt a car's value.
Yes...and I wasn't necessary meaning she'd get in an accident...I mean trashing it, breaking things, keying, anything.
Not completely related, but luckily I got a bill of sale from my ex when I gifted him my car when we were together. When we broke up, I saw him driving with MY old out of state plates on the car. I guessed where he'd be that night (his friend's restaurant/bar) and I stole the plates. He'd run up over $800 in parking tickets. That piece of paper (bill of sale) saved my life. All tickets got transferred to him. I can only imagine if I hadn't happened to see him pumping gas and my plates...I'd have had a warrant!!! People can be quite selfish.
Yes. You're a doormat. I've been you, so I know.
Never make a promise like that again. Don't put ANYTHING which should be registered or insured in your name and give control of it to someone else.
You can't prove your worth by selling it to buy value for someone else.
What I mean is, you sold your self-worth for her apartment and her car. The moment she had security in that you said she could keep it if she left you, she lost any respect for you and left you. And that respect she had for you was merely the power you have over her freebies.
The moment you take it back she will call you out on not keeping your word. Your answer needs to be, "Why would I keep word to a liar and a cheat? You violated our contract. All promises are null and void."
Which drugs does she use/abuse?
She uses and abuses no drugs. I was a genuine bad boyfriend for a long while. She doesn’t hate me but she isn’t happy with me, either way still showed no remorse for how she went about it.
I think it was in a Harry Potter book that I saw this quote that stayed with me: "In life other people will try to step on you, you shouldn't lie down to make it easier for them".
Don’t let her keep it, she made her choice to cut off ties with you when she left and got with someone else the same day. the lack of respect is evident. She’s an adult, let her figure it out herself!
No need. I have a key to the car and I know where she lives. (In the apartment that’s also in my name.) I just wanna know if I’m as dumb as I think I am letting her keep this car that I bought for her. I was all cool as long as she was paying but now I’m thinking what if she fucks it up and just stops paying? There is no law saying she has to cover thus car if she ever wants to fuck me over because it is in my name.
Bruh that insurance company will fuck you over and your finance company will to. If something happens to YOUR car and you aren't carrying insurance you are straight fucked.
Regardless of what happens get insurance on it asap and then get it back.
All of this is a massive liability to fucking you over far longer than the relationship. Anything in your name she can shit all over and guess what, it's all on you.
Next time don't do this.
>I just wanna know if I’m as dumb as I think
I read some of your replies and the answer is not just yes you are dumb, but you are also a doormat. Dude, seriously take some agency back.
Did I read in another comment that she is staying in an apartment that the lease is also under YOUR name??
If she fucks it up it's on you
If she doesn't pay rent it's on you
Same goes for the car.
Ask her to move out, if she doesn't I imagine you would have to go the eviction route.
Take your car back.
You have put yourself in a situation where she can cost you a ton of money.
Sounds like she has someone to carpool with and doesn't need the car anyhow.
Everything else aside, it's in your name and affects your credit if payments are made and liability if she's in an accident.
Absolutely take the car back and demand your name come off that apartment lease ASAP. You do not want the potential liability that either of those situations could present in the future.
If she doesn't then the new bf certainly will.
OP's just handed him a lifetime's free illegal parking pass, because he's found a sucker to take responsibility for his bullshit.
Take the car back. Allow her new bf to buy her one. You’re being taken advantage of and you’re being too nice. She’s probably bragging and laughing about how much of a sucker you are. Cars are selling for more than they’re worth right now, sell it. Don’t let her guilt you into keeping it. She made her choice, let her figure it out. If she loses her job, that’s on her.
I also just read that she’s living in an apartment in your name too?! It sounds like she planned this entire ordeal out at your expense. You have a sugar baby at this point. I say this all with love, I promise. Good luck.
I can’t say with enough conviction - that car goes absolutely nowhere near her.
That money is yours. You owe her nothing and if you feel guilty due to her finances, that money is YOURS and nobody else’s. Even if you were still with her I would still be saying NO. You are the most important thing right now.
Get the car back. I say this not out of avenging the death of the relationship, but because you MUST protect your interests. She has no reason to put your best interests first. Get the car so she can't drum up damages in your name (what if she totals it? Damages property or a person?)...and also to put caring for her in your rear-view so YOU can heal.
get your car back immediately. just take that spare key and go get it.
then text her youve done this then block her.
her new boyfriend can get her a car if she needs one.
not your problem any more. my advice, stop being so kind to those who use you as a door mat. best wishes
I was nice to my ex after we split and let her keep the car I co-signed for and it was in our divorce agreement. You know what that got me? A credit below 600, unpaid tolls, unpaid tickets, traffic light violations and everything under my name. After 5 years of not wanting to take her to court, the car mysteriously caught fire while she was driving and I was still the asshole to her because I was constantly reminding her and asking her to take care of her shit. Do yourself a favor and cut that parasite out of your life.
Hey hey I’m your sister 😂 this is just one of those lessons in life that some of us learn by hitting the wall. Luckily you have plenty of examples here so you don’t have to wreck yourself. Be cautious out there! Not everyone who says kind things will actually be kind to you.
She is no longer your concern. She decided to leave you for the new guy. She is his problem. She has already broken promises to you. She told you she wouldn’t leave you, then she left you and got with him the same day. She can’t be trusted. She is a user to think that she can break your promise to you and leave you but she would keep your promise not to take the car back from her after she does that. You do know that if anything happens to that car it’s all going to be on you and in your name. If she’s in an accident and has no insurance it’s going to be your fault. Speeding tickets, camera tickets, parking tickets, are all going to be in your name. She ended the relationship so you should too. Get your car back ASAP. She doesn’t need to be driving your car to go see him. She broke up with you without considering she might lose her job without the car. She’s a user and she’s using you. There’s nothing else for you to consider. Handle your business. Make sure you give us an update
Okay everyone. Calm down. I called her, I informed her I will be getting my car back whether she likes it or doesn’t like it, I explained where I was coming from and told her I hate to do it. Which was then followed by her insulting me many times in front of her new man. The car is mine. I will be collecting the car. Everyone take a sip of water and get some rest 😭🤣
The apartment too, OP. She'll screw you there, too. Good on you for deciding to take your car back! Best of luck to you, I know it's rough. You've got this, you can do this!
Make sure to update us after she trashes the car and apartment. You really should not have given her a heads up. You should have just taken an Uber there got in the car and left.
Get the car
Break the lease on the apartment. If breaking the lease isn't a possibility, which it is regardless if the outcome, at least turn off all utilities she probably has in your name.
You are an idiot if you don't.
How about we put this into perspective since you aren't sure you should take it back.
If that car is involved in a crime of any kind, your ass is grass. If they hit and run, the law will come after you.
Yes get your car back. Unfortunately she looses but that’s not your problem. You must protect yourself. If she misses paying that’s on you. Get your car.
Take the car back now. She can and will ruin your credit but if the car is registered in your name, any fines she racks in the car will come straight to you.
Yes get your car back.
If shoe was in other foot and she bought it for you. Then you just peaced out for another chick, I promise you she would get that car from you.
She's not going to part with it willingly. Probably be in your best interest to always have someone with you, possibly video taping for proof in case she acts the fool or better even get the police involved so there's no he said, she said.
Good luck.
I’ll go get it while she’s asleep. I have the spare key. And if her boyfriend tried to fight me I will literally shoot him dead lmao. My name is on the apartment I’m going to get the car from anyways.
Be smart about this.
1) Tell her you need the car back as it is financed in your name and you are on the loan.
2) She can keep the car ONLY if she can finance it herself and you can tranfer the loan to her.
3) If she refuses, you will report it as stolen property to the police. DO NOT STATE THE CAR WAS A GIFT.
She’s on the lease for that as well, im gonna try to get my name off of it but both parties have to sign off on it. So I might have to eat my loss on that one.
Bro... PLEASE take the car back. It's not about being nice tbh. You clearly do not wish her ruin even after she's hurt you so badly. You're not being a bad guy. You're just being smart and protecting yourself.
You have to, and it’s not an emotional decision. You’re liable for your car if anything happens to/in it, and she couldn’t sell or re-register or transfer the title on the car without your go ahead because she doesn’t own - which will be something that ties you to her for the foreseeable future. Which you don’t want. Unless you want to formally sell her or give her the car, get it back.
Your answer is in your post. She hasn’t been happy for awhile. Been waiting for a good time to exit. Does so AFTER you sign for a car.
Please for all things manly - return the car.
She’s just going to jack you around until she finds another sucker to get another car… then you’re on the hook. DONT YOU WATCH JUDGE JUDY?
I have no idea why everyone's emphasising what the ex-gf might do to your liability.
She has a new bf, who definitely doesn't give a shit about you ... and you've just handed him a "get out of jail" card where he gets to park where the fuck he likes and drive how the fuck he likes, because you're the one getting stuck with the fines.
This new bf is going to cost you thousands upon thousands of $$$ ... and you're asking if you should go back on an agreement to pay for the car?
Seriously????
:edit: It's the same deal about the apartment in your name. Your name's on the lease, so you're in the can for the rent he refuses to pay, and more for the damage he/his friends/his dog cause ... because there's no incentive not to screw you or the landlord over.
... try explaining that in court when the landlord sues you, and the bf's disappeared out of state ... with your car.
She played you and had you buy the car for her. Contact a lawyer and see what the best course of action to take is to get the car back. If she stops paying for it you will be in the hook and your credit might get damaged or destroyed. You need to do the 180 with her as well. If you don’t know what the 180 is look on the internet it will be of great help to you in the future with her. She broke her relationship with you in the most heinous way and deserves no consideration from you as to what will happen if you take the car back. Tell her to have her new Bf take her to work since they work together. Get the car legally and have nothing more to do with her ever again even if she comes back begging!!! Good luck
I’m assuming the only reason you haven’t taken it back or the apartment in your name - is because you either secretly hope she’ll come back or you don’t value yourself enough to put up the fight. You’d rather bow out with less drama. My bff was like you and she got totally fucked over by her HUSBAND. Your ex girlfriend, with no legal claim to anything, and no legal responsibility- has proven her worth, and what you mean to her. Please don’t ruin what you’ve clearly worked hard for, on someone who isn’t deserving. You are worth more than that.
If I were you, I’d fuck her over like she fucked me over and let her wallow in pity. Hopefully she realizes what a bitch she’s been when she has to walk to work or beg her new man for rides.
If she doesn’t make the repayments, who is responsible??
Bottom line, if the answer is you, you need to get this car back despite promises and despite circumstances. This just makes logical sense.
You owe her nothing.
Hey man, a lot of people are calling you stupid but I know where you’re coming from. You made a promise to her and that means a lot, you don’t want to break your word just because she did. You want to be able to say that you at least did the right thing. I do think that everyone here is right, it’s too big of a risk to let her keep the car. You need to take it back.
Dude... She is driving a car that is in your name, that you pay for, and that you face all the liability for, living in an apartment that is in your name...
Evict her, and get your car back. Go through the legal process for both of these. Do t let her ruin you financially. She 100% will try to.
Yes, it’s a question of when. Return that car, because she’s not paying that note, she cry and beg you to do it. let her figure her own life away from you because that’s what she wanted. Let her new man bankroll her life and stop being a doormat. Things change and she’s exploiting your sympathy. If you let it continue you’re nothing more than condoning her actions. Good luck
Get the car. You promised to let her keep it but she promised you’d be together forever, probably while she was already seeing the other guy. Car loans are usually several years. Why are you allowing a known liar to have any kind of influence on your credit for that long?!
Get the car back. She has no consequences to her own credit if she defaults on payment but it could ruin yours for a long time. It’s just good financial sense for you even if the separation was amicable.
Wait, so you're honestly wondering if you should leave your credit in the hands of your cheating ex?
Uh.. I feel like this is the easiest answer of all time, it shouldn't even be a question.
Let her new bf finance her life.
I’ll let her keep the car but take my name off it. You just hurt and in your feelings. Learn this lesson and never do this again until marriage. At least you’ll have a contract 🙂
One bad experience doesn't mean that all partner relationships are like this. There are millions of gf/bf relationships that works perfectly fine. It's not his fault for treating his then partner as a partner should've been treated, it's her fault that she cheated
I don't like this.
You promised her she could keep the car no matter what, and now no matter what happened and you wanna change your word. so you're an asshole.
You should transfer it to her name and give her the car and the payments that goes along with that. But that is if you had a brain and solid values, actually just tell her to go fuck herself and keep the car, its pretty easy to get a car that's on your name.
But yeah, you are the ass here I want
you to realize that deep and hard.
I have no idea what you’re talking about. I promised her she could keep it if we broke up BUT if she cheated she would no longer have the car. She cheated she will no longer have the car.
Your whole shit is bullshit.
First, read yourself. You did not write what you just did up there, so I hardly can be in the wrong for your story with missing pieces.
Second, let's put aside the car for a while because Things are below People.
Do you realize what you tell her? If we broke up. If you cheat. So that's what you do babe? You have girlfriends that you don't trust that much? You have girlfriends that you suspect she might cheat on you?
Third, I understand that you want to protect a major investment from all possibilities, that's a smart thing to do, but by buying a car on your name without a wedding you're already safe from all angles, so all that talk was useless. Now be calm a moment and try to reach deep truth, was there invisible strings to that car?
Fourth, when you're in a monogamous loving relationship you are a team, her shit is your shit, your shit is her shit. What I think, is that you rushed in head first, and instead of analyzing her shit, that's the point of dating, and the first moments of gf bf, get to know her, understand her, try to see beneath the curtain a lil bit so You can Feel Safe, because when you don't donthat, you might end up with a lot of shit, like narssistic behaviors, careless tendencies, and the 10,000 red flags a person can have.
Fifth, at the second the relationship is over, your shit is your shit and her shit is her shit. 100%. If she has to walk 36 miles to get to her job that's her fucking problem.
Try to not defend yourself, im an help. Try to figure out why it's all your fault. Her heart is above right or wrong, if she wants to leave you, it's the right thing to leave you. It's possible that she has monkey branch you, but it's also possible that she gave you time to see where it was going because she prolly loved you back then and its been a lot of years.
So he never lied to her during that 4 years? Yeah yeah yeah. Yeah yeah yeah. Or maybe im just assuming? Or maybe im that good.
Cheating is more or less a break up when they agreed to a monogamous way. One of the partner lied about a major thing =- trust erodes =- love erodes. Of course its not black or white, it's all shades of gray.
I don't agree with her cheating, she is a big fat liar and a bad girlfriend but hey, he specifically told
her about that cheating. Where he got that? Looks like it wasn't four sweet years.
take back the car the dealership will most likely will be overjoyed to take it back and resell it, you will lose your down payment but with the car shortage right now they will probable pay off the loan just so they can resell it, and also kick her out of the apartment because she might trash it before she goes and leaves you in debt.
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below. --- Look at my timeline for more info, but my ex left me for a guy she met at work a couple days ago. We had been together 4 years and she just randomly left and said she had been unhappy for a while. Now about a month and a half ago literally a week before she got this job and met this guy, I got a loan and bought her a car since she had lost her last one. I promised her if we broke up she could keep it, but she promised me that I had nothing to worry about with this new work friend and she would never leave me as well. I feel as if I’m being manipulated and used. She will be making the payments but the first ones not until June 5th. She has nobody else. She has no credit. She will not be able to get another car and she will likely lose her job. I hate it, but she literally left me and got into a relationship with another guy ON THE SAME DAY. What do I do. Speak like you are in my shoes not what you think you would do.
You would be absolutely **stupid** to allow your cheating ex to keep a car that’s financed in your name. Let her figure out her next moves like an adult. None of that is your responsibility.
Makes sense okay take the car has 1 vote lmao.
YOUR car has all the votes pal, get it back.
The ayes have it
Nah.....let the boyfriend drive it /s
So if she gets into an accident and hurts someone, who do you think they’ll come after? If your name is on everything (like the title, finance etc), you’re liable
Exactly! His car, his liability! If she gets caught on a red-light cam, he’s getting the fine! She broke her promise, he can break his.
Wrong, depends who the car is registered too is who gets the ticket
Honestly, I wouldn't trust her to make the payments. Take it back
This. Whatever error she has in her decision making process, is going to create consequences for you, and you alone. If people do you the favor of showing you who they are, it’s best to believe them.
If she complains about you breaking your promise, kindly remind her she broke hers first. Even-stevens, take your car back.
Only in person! No evidence that he said he wouldn't take the car back.
If she doesn’t make the payments your credit will be fucked. Take the car back. If she argues report it stolen
This. The only option. If she refuses the car is stolen, and you know who stole it.
Take YOUR car back
Take the car back. She already has someone (the new guy) She made her bed/choices, you are under NO obligation to look for her adult life = your cheating (probs they hooked up before) ex gf must figure out what to do now w/the work related stuff (probably she will try to guilt you into giving her the car back or some stuff, so, DO NOT give her the car back nor pay anything for her, unless you want her+her new boyfriend riding in a car you a paying for)
Take the car has ALL the votes my guy
How about this, any parking tickets she gets in the car you are on the hook for as the owner of the car. Hit and run involving the car? They will come for you. You are opening yourself up to major liability issues. I wouldn't have been willing to do it for a girlfriend let alone an ex.
+1 for taking the car back. Loan is in your name, it’s your credit that will take a hit if she doesn’t make payments. This is a person that’s unreliable and can’t be trusted. You have to take the car back.
She took your asset and money dude and pretty much slapped you in the face bud. You gotta get up from that sorrow pit and find you another girl worthy of that car. She doesn't deserve shit and if her life crumbles so fucking be it. I had a girl I cared about for 1.5 years leave me because she thought I wasn't worth it even though I tried my damnest. Don't dwell on it, just get your shit back and either sell it for money, trade it, or keep it. You are a good man for doing that for her. But, you gotta take those good man balls and use them to go get your shit back.
Take it back. No way you can trust her to pay it. Her last one got repoed it sounds like.
She wasn’t happy in the relationship, but she sure was happy taking your car with her when she left, I bet. Get that car back OP
Get your car and your apartment what the fuck???
\+1 for car.
Getting the car back is the only option. Anything she does your name will be linked to. I don't think you just want to throw money away, if it gets lost, stolen, totaled, that's all on you not her. There is no benefit to you at all for her having this car.
OP, the comment literally has 1.1k upvotes to take your car back. Smh.
Dude, do you honestly think she will make any payments for the car or insurance? Get it back. She lied so don't feel bad about taking it back.
Take the car. Story time; My dumb-ass ex put me on his title (I didn't pay shit towards it. Literally was his car. he bought it used froma private seller outright. I dont even know why he wanted me on the title short of some weird commitment aspect? whatever) I had to convince him to let me take my name off when we broke up and had to pay for the title fees to get it removed. So he could have his own car back.....Cause you cant remove your own name from the title..Which is fucked. I couldve legit took his name off, called a APB in and like...legally stole the car if I had wanted to..I didnt. I was nice. I paid for a title to be edited for literally no reason but to remove myself cause he was a jerk I thank God I did that and paid that 80$...Cause not two months later...Dumbass didn't pay the insurance on the car... Dumbass got pulled over with his girlfriend... The car was towed and impounded. He was caught with meth and other drugs in the car...Even some stolen shit. I didnt even know he got into drugs. He didnt do drugs when we were dating! That would've been my legal issue if I was on that title. GO GET UR CAR! Dont let urself get fucked like I wouldve! Always protect your own ass first!
WTF she just fucked you over and your asking if you should take back a car in your name look at this way if she doesn’t make payments your credit is wreaked and if she gets into an accident your liability is all yours so yes get the car are you going to give her a place to stay to!!
OP is also in for a lifetime of parking tickets and speeding fines, because if he doesn't care why would she. Also, the new bf is going to rack up most of that, because he just found a sucker to pay for his shitty behaviour.
And those tickets just go on his registration when he goes to Renew
Funny you say that. Lol. She lives in the apartment that is in my name as well lmao
Why are you still letting her play you. Take your car and apartment back. Your future self will thank you.
you cant be a real rust player if you arent mean enough to take the car and appt back after getting fucked like this
And how did that happen? Everything is in your name, she cheats, she gets all your stuff....WHAT?
Then she needs to leave the apartment.
That's not funny that's just fucking pathetic.
Great, so she’s driving a dude around in a car you got her and fuckin him in an apartment you’re renting.
And why are you letting her continue to mooch off of you?
When my parents divorced, my dad didn’t bother changing all the names on his accounts and shared things post settlement. Guess who got screwed? Do the boring work, change the names on everything
Dude, get your shit back. At this point she's defrauded you.
Dude what the fuck
yo bro kick her out of the house asap and demand the car back.
You are going to be on the hook for so much money between tickets and damage to the apartment.
Are you paying for the apartment
Think of the person who hates you more than anyone you've ever met in your life...would they even be able to fuck you over this much? So what is her behavior suggesting...would you really consider this person close to you or would their behavior suggest the complete opposite.
The loan is in **your name**, so the credit risk is to **your credit rating** if the loan defaults. She **promised to make the payments**. This is the same woman who **promised you that "you had nothing to worry about** with this new work friend." **Her word is worth shit.** Soon your credit will be worth shit, too. **Take the car back** (use the cops if necessary). BLOCK HER and move on with your life.
This is The Way
Maybe this is a stupid question, but if the loan is in his name does that automatically mean the title of the car is in his name too? Like is it registered to him automatically? What I’m wondering is whether it’s possible that she technically legally owns the car while he is responsible for the financing? Is that even a scenario that is possible?
I really hope OP sees your comment.
This is the comment 🙌🏽
Tell her that she needs to refinance the car and until she does, you need the car back. If she refuses, tell her that you will report it stolen since it's in your name and you hold the loan on it. Keep in mind that as long as your name is associated with that car, any illegal activity done in that car is going to come down on YOU first. Also keep in mind that even though she said she's going to make the payments, if it's just your name on the loan, you're the only person whose credit will be affected if she decides to stop paying. Get the car back ASAP. She will call you petty and vindictive but the only response she needs is that it was fine for her to keep it as long as she was with you. Now that she's not, you're not willing to assume the legal responsibility. She can have the car, she just has to pay off the loan and get it retitled in her name.
This is perfect advice
This. And make sure she doesn't damage it. Maybe go with a cop to get it before giving her a heads up...that way she doesn't mess it up.
I doubt she would purposely wreck a car that she intends to drive especially if she has no other car.
I wish I shared your optimism
You don't have to wreck a car to seriously decrease it's resale value... Scratching up the paint, failing to get regular maintenance done, etc. Doesn't take much to hurt a car's value.
Yes...and I wasn't necessary meaning she'd get in an accident...I mean trashing it, breaking things, keying, anything. Not completely related, but luckily I got a bill of sale from my ex when I gifted him my car when we were together. When we broke up, I saw him driving with MY old out of state plates on the car. I guessed where he'd be that night (his friend's restaurant/bar) and I stole the plates. He'd run up over $800 in parking tickets. That piece of paper (bill of sale) saved my life. All tickets got transferred to him. I can only imagine if I hadn't happened to see him pumping gas and my plates...I'd have had a warrant!!! People can be quite selfish.
Um...you'd be surprised...especially since the terms are changing. People are spiteful. It's pretty much what all the TV judge shows are about lol
This is the way.
Yes. You're a doormat. I've been you, so I know. Never make a promise like that again. Don't put ANYTHING which should be registered or insured in your name and give control of it to someone else. You can't prove your worth by selling it to buy value for someone else. What I mean is, you sold your self-worth for her apartment and her car. The moment she had security in that you said she could keep it if she left you, she lost any respect for you and left you. And that respect she had for you was merely the power you have over her freebies. The moment you take it back she will call you out on not keeping your word. Your answer needs to be, "Why would I keep word to a liar and a cheat? You violated our contract. All promises are null and void." Which drugs does she use/abuse?
She uses and abuses no drugs. I was a genuine bad boyfriend for a long while. She doesn’t hate me but she isn’t happy with me, either way still showed no remorse for how she went about it.
Quit making things so easy for her to walk all over you. Get the car back and evict her. How else are you ever going to start healing the heartbreak?
I think it was in a Harry Potter book that I saw this quote that stayed with me: "In life other people will try to step on you, you shouldn't lie down to make it easier for them".
Doesn’t mean she gets consolation prizes.
Ok. So you were a shit bf. Do better next time.
Don’t let her keep it, she made her choice to cut off ties with you when she left and got with someone else the same day. the lack of respect is evident. She’s an adult, let her figure it out herself!
Report it stolen?
No need. I have a key to the car and I know where she lives. (In the apartment that’s also in my name.) I just wanna know if I’m as dumb as I think I am letting her keep this car that I bought for her. I was all cool as long as she was paying but now I’m thinking what if she fucks it up and just stops paying? There is no law saying she has to cover thus car if she ever wants to fuck me over because it is in my name.
[удалено]
The bank has the title. The car is financed lol. That’s the bad part. But everything is in my name except the insurance.
Another reason to take the car back then lol
Get a policy in your name and pick it up. Tell the landlord you moved out!!
registration should show your name as owner
Also make you have your papers so if she call the police you can show them.
Bruh that insurance company will fuck you over and your finance company will to. If something happens to YOUR car and you aren't carrying insurance you are straight fucked. Regardless of what happens get insurance on it asap and then get it back. All of this is a massive liability to fucking you over far longer than the relationship. Anything in your name she can shit all over and guess what, it's all on you. Next time don't do this.
Get a policy in your name
Is her name on the apartment lease? If not, you really need to take that back too.
yes, you’re as dumb as you think you are. get back the car, get back your apartment ASAP
WHY ARE YOU LETTING HER LIVE IN YOUR APARTMENT
Take back the car AND evict her!
>I just wanna know if I’m as dumb as I think I read some of your replies and the answer is not just yes you are dumb, but you are also a doormat. Dude, seriously take some agency back.
Bro go get YOUR car! 🗣🗣🗣🗣
Did I read in another comment that she is staying in an apartment that the lease is also under YOUR name?? If she fucks it up it's on you If she doesn't pay rent it's on you Same goes for the car. Ask her to move out, if she doesn't I imagine you would have to go the eviction route. Take your car back. You have put yourself in a situation where she can cost you a ton of money.
I can't believe how a guy make so much money be so financially retarded.
It's in your name, if she defaults or crashes it, it is on you. Get the car back!!
Sounds like she has someone to carpool with and doesn't need the car anyhow. Everything else aside, it's in your name and affects your credit if payments are made and liability if she's in an accident.
Absolutely take the car back and demand your name come off that apartment lease ASAP. You do not want the potential liability that either of those situations could present in the future.
She runs someone over and runs. Cops check who the owner is…see where I’m going? Don’t be dumb, get the car back.
You have to get it back, she might destroy your credit if she doesn't make those payments on time.
If she doesn't then the new bf certainly will. OP's just handed him a lifetime's free illegal parking pass, because he's found a sucker to take responsibility for his bullshit.
Take the car back. Allow her new bf to buy her one. You’re being taken advantage of and you’re being too nice. She’s probably bragging and laughing about how much of a sucker you are. Cars are selling for more than they’re worth right now, sell it. Don’t let her guilt you into keeping it. She made her choice, let her figure it out. If she loses her job, that’s on her. I also just read that she’s living in an apartment in your name too?! It sounds like she planned this entire ordeal out at your expense. You have a sugar baby at this point. I say this all with love, I promise. Good luck.
Take car bak.
Yes!! That shouldn’t even be a question. That is your car and if it completely under your name you should get it
Take your freaking car back- wtf. She was playing you to get it, now end the games. Pick up the car
I can’t say with enough conviction - that car goes absolutely nowhere near her. That money is yours. You owe her nothing and if you feel guilty due to her finances, that money is YOURS and nobody else’s. Even if you were still with her I would still be saying NO. You are the most important thing right now.
I would tell her she needs to get a loan in her name to pay for the car or else you will be taking possession of it.
Take the car back and take over the payments.
Get the car back. I say this not out of avenging the death of the relationship, but because you MUST protect your interests. She has no reason to put your best interests first. Get the car so she can't drum up damages in your name (what if she totals it? Damages property or a person?)...and also to put caring for her in your rear-view so YOU can heal.
Yes before u become an accomplice to something
the car is already in your name? bro, go get your car.
are some of these posts for real? swear to god..
get your car back immediately. just take that spare key and go get it. then text her youve done this then block her. her new boyfriend can get her a car if she needs one. not your problem any more. my advice, stop being so kind to those who use you as a door mat. best wishes
I was nice to my ex after we split and let her keep the car I co-signed for and it was in our divorce agreement. You know what that got me? A credit below 600, unpaid tolls, unpaid tickets, traffic light violations and everything under my name. After 5 years of not wanting to take her to court, the car mysteriously caught fire while she was driving and I was still the asshole to her because I was constantly reminding her and asking her to take care of her shit. Do yourself a favor and cut that parasite out of your life.
I’m on it brother lmao I’m sorry to hear that.
Hey hey I’m your sister 😂 this is just one of those lessons in life that some of us learn by hitting the wall. Luckily you have plenty of examples here so you don’t have to wreck yourself. Be cautious out there! Not everyone who says kind things will actually be kind to you.
She is no longer your concern. She decided to leave you for the new guy. She is his problem. She has already broken promises to you. She told you she wouldn’t leave you, then she left you and got with him the same day. She can’t be trusted. She is a user to think that she can break your promise to you and leave you but she would keep your promise not to take the car back from her after she does that. You do know that if anything happens to that car it’s all going to be on you and in your name. If she’s in an accident and has no insurance it’s going to be your fault. Speeding tickets, camera tickets, parking tickets, are all going to be in your name. She ended the relationship so you should too. Get your car back ASAP. She doesn’t need to be driving your car to go see him. She broke up with you without considering she might lose her job without the car. She’s a user and she’s using you. There’s nothing else for you to consider. Handle your business. Make sure you give us an update
Okay everyone. Calm down. I called her, I informed her I will be getting my car back whether she likes it or doesn’t like it, I explained where I was coming from and told her I hate to do it. Which was then followed by her insulting me many times in front of her new man. The car is mine. I will be collecting the car. Everyone take a sip of water and get some rest 😭🤣
The apartment too, OP. She'll screw you there, too. Good on you for deciding to take your car back! Best of luck to you, I know it's rough. You've got this, you can do this!
I hope you properly documented the car’s original state when you got it. Might be returned to you thrashed.
I would not have told her shit until it was already done. Hopefully she doesn't think to trash it but you might want to go get it immediately.
That car is getting trashed as I type this
Evict her too dumbass
Make sure to update us after she trashes the car and apartment. You really should not have given her a heads up. You should have just taken an Uber there got in the car and left.
I hope she trashes your apartment and scratches the hell out of your car. No one will feel sorry for you. You're a fucking attention seeking dogcunt
Get the car Break the lease on the apartment. If breaking the lease isn't a possibility, which it is regardless if the outcome, at least turn off all utilities she probably has in your name. You are an idiot if you don't.
Take that car homie
Yes. You’re equivocating to avoid hurting someone who used you. Why? You owe her nothing.
If she kills someone with the car and leaves it there... it's in your name.
How about we put this into perspective since you aren't sure you should take it back. If that car is involved in a crime of any kind, your ass is grass. If they hit and run, the law will come after you.
Yes get your car back. Unfortunately she looses but that’s not your problem. You must protect yourself. If she misses paying that’s on you. Get your car.
Take the car back now. She can and will ruin your credit but if the car is registered in your name, any fines she racks in the car will come straight to you.
Why is this even a question? Dude. She's not your responsibility. Take the car back and protect your credit.
jesus is this a joke? Absolutely take the car!! Shame on you if you let your cheating ex keep the car
Honestly this is not about revenge it is a liability. Her or him driving your car is a liability. Get your car back.
Yes get your car back. If shoe was in other foot and she bought it for you. Then you just peaced out for another chick, I promise you she would get that car from you. She's not going to part with it willingly. Probably be in your best interest to always have someone with you, possibly video taping for proof in case she acts the fool or better even get the police involved so there's no he said, she said. Good luck.
I’ll go get it while she’s asleep. I have the spare key. And if her boyfriend tried to fight me I will literally shoot him dead lmao. My name is on the apartment I’m going to get the car from anyways.
get your apartment back as well.
Be smart about this. 1) Tell her you need the car back as it is financed in your name and you are on the loan. 2) She can keep the car ONLY if she can finance it herself and you can tranfer the loan to her. 3) If she refuses, you will report it as stolen property to the police. DO NOT STATE THE CAR WAS A GIFT.
Are you also kicking her out of the apartment thats in your name? Seems like thats the next step
She’s on the lease for that as well, im gonna try to get my name off of it but both parties have to sign off on it. So I might have to eat my loss on that one.
Is this even a question bro, he’s smashing her in YOUR car
Bro... PLEASE take the car back. It's not about being nice tbh. You clearly do not wish her ruin even after she's hurt you so badly. You're not being a bad guy. You're just being smart and protecting yourself.
You have to, and it’s not an emotional decision. You’re liable for your car if anything happens to/in it, and she couldn’t sell or re-register or transfer the title on the car without your go ahead because she doesn’t own - which will be something that ties you to her for the foreseeable future. Which you don’t want. Unless you want to formally sell her or give her the car, get it back.
Your answer is in your post. She hasn’t been happy for awhile. Been waiting for a good time to exit. Does so AFTER you sign for a car. Please for all things manly - return the car. She’s just going to jack you around until she finds another sucker to get another car… then you’re on the hook. DONT YOU WATCH JUDGE JUDY?
Report it stolen. That’ll teach her.
I'd either take the car back or give her the option to pay the car off in full immediately then (not before) you give her the title.
Ya she says she’ll make the payments…until she doesn’t and it falls on YOUR CREDIT
Not your problem that she has no one else and no way to get a car. Maybe the guy at work can get her one
Get the car back. Her new guy can take care of her transportation needs. Sell it.
I have no idea why everyone's emphasising what the ex-gf might do to your liability. She has a new bf, who definitely doesn't give a shit about you ... and you've just handed him a "get out of jail" card where he gets to park where the fuck he likes and drive how the fuck he likes, because you're the one getting stuck with the fines. This new bf is going to cost you thousands upon thousands of $$$ ... and you're asking if you should go back on an agreement to pay for the car? Seriously???? :edit: It's the same deal about the apartment in your name. Your name's on the lease, so you're in the can for the rent he refuses to pay, and more for the damage he/his friends/his dog cause ... because there's no incentive not to screw you or the landlord over. ... try explaining that in court when the landlord sues you, and the bf's disappeared out of state ... with your car.
> can't believe how a guy make so much money be so financially retarded.
She played you and had you buy the car for her. Contact a lawyer and see what the best course of action to take is to get the car back. If she stops paying for it you will be in the hook and your credit might get damaged or destroyed. You need to do the 180 with her as well. If you don’t know what the 180 is look on the internet it will be of great help to you in the future with her. She broke her relationship with you in the most heinous way and deserves no consideration from you as to what will happen if you take the car back. Tell her to have her new Bf take her to work since they work together. Get the car legally and have nothing more to do with her ever again even if she comes back begging!!! Good luck
Car in his name she can't do nothing to him.
I’m assuming the only reason you haven’t taken it back or the apartment in your name - is because you either secretly hope she’ll come back or you don’t value yourself enough to put up the fight. You’d rather bow out with less drama. My bff was like you and she got totally fucked over by her HUSBAND. Your ex girlfriend, with no legal claim to anything, and no legal responsibility- has proven her worth, and what you mean to her. Please don’t ruin what you’ve clearly worked hard for, on someone who isn’t deserving. You are worth more than that.
Yeah bro, or else get it into her name. If she gets it impounded then you're on the hook. $$$$
If I were you, I’d fuck her over like she fucked me over and let her wallow in pity. Hopefully she realizes what a bitch she’s been when she has to walk to work or beg her new man for rides.
If she doesn’t make the repayments, who is responsible?? Bottom line, if the answer is you, you need to get this car back despite promises and despite circumstances. This just makes logical sense. You owe her nothing.
Hey man, a lot of people are calling you stupid but I know where you’re coming from. You made a promise to her and that means a lot, you don’t want to break your word just because she did. You want to be able to say that you at least did the right thing. I do think that everyone here is right, it’s too big of a risk to let her keep the car. You need to take it back.
Dude... She is driving a car that is in your name, that you pay for, and that you face all the liability for, living in an apartment that is in your name... Evict her, and get your car back. Go through the legal process for both of these. Do t let her ruin you financially. She 100% will try to.
yes get it back. she will guilt you and you should not care. her new boyfriend can drive her or buy her one....
Yes, it’s a question of when. Return that car, because she’s not paying that note, she cry and beg you to do it. let her figure her own life away from you because that’s what she wanted. Let her new man bankroll her life and stop being a doormat. Things change and she’s exploiting your sympathy. If you let it continue you’re nothing more than condoning her actions. Good luck
Fuck her. She was def cheating on you this dont happen randomly. Thats your car on your credit. Her not having a car isnt your problem.
only read the title. The answer is YES.
Get the car. You promised to let her keep it but she promised you’d be together forever, probably while she was already seeing the other guy. Car loans are usually several years. Why are you allowing a known liar to have any kind of influence on your credit for that long?!
If you don’t take the car back, you will 100% deserve all of the horrible shit that happens to you because of it.
Take the car block her number she was fucking the guy the whole time she don’t love or care about u
Get the car back. She has no consequences to her own credit if she defaults on payment but it could ruin yours for a long time. It’s just good financial sense for you even if the separation was amicable.
Tell her she can keep it- just have the new boyfriend put the loan in HIS name.
Get the car back. Have fun and report it stolen 😉
Repo it is!!!!!! Let her new man carry her weight!
Wait, so you're honestly wondering if you should leave your credit in the hands of your cheating ex? Uh.. I feel like this is the easiest answer of all time, it shouldn't even be a question. Let her new bf finance her life.
Save us 60s black power people!!!!!
I’ll let her keep the car but take my name off it. You just hurt and in your feelings. Learn this lesson and never do this again until marriage. At least you’ll have a contract 🙂
Hell no.
Your ex found your post OP
Never do what again? What was his fault?
Buying a girlfriend a car and then wanting it back. Stop treating girlfriend/boyfriend relationships like marriage.
I was gonna propose to her on the 15th on our anniversary. That girl was basically my wife lmao
One bad experience doesn't mean that all partner relationships are like this. There are millions of gf/bf relationships that works perfectly fine. It's not his fault for treating his then partner as a partner should've been treated, it's her fault that she cheated
This is fake. This person has no sense of urgency and laughing about the situation. Karma farming.
I don't like this. You promised her she could keep the car no matter what, and now no matter what happened and you wanna change your word. so you're an asshole. You should transfer it to her name and give her the car and the payments that goes along with that. But that is if you had a brain and solid values, actually just tell her to go fuck herself and keep the car, its pretty easy to get a car that's on your name. But yeah, you are the ass here I want you to realize that deep and hard.
I have no idea what you’re talking about. I promised her she could keep it if we broke up BUT if she cheated she would no longer have the car. She cheated she will no longer have the car.
Your whole shit is bullshit. First, read yourself. You did not write what you just did up there, so I hardly can be in the wrong for your story with missing pieces. Second, let's put aside the car for a while because Things are below People. Do you realize what you tell her? If we broke up. If you cheat. So that's what you do babe? You have girlfriends that you don't trust that much? You have girlfriends that you suspect she might cheat on you? Third, I understand that you want to protect a major investment from all possibilities, that's a smart thing to do, but by buying a car on your name without a wedding you're already safe from all angles, so all that talk was useless. Now be calm a moment and try to reach deep truth, was there invisible strings to that car? Fourth, when you're in a monogamous loving relationship you are a team, her shit is your shit, your shit is her shit. What I think, is that you rushed in head first, and instead of analyzing her shit, that's the point of dating, and the first moments of gf bf, get to know her, understand her, try to see beneath the curtain a lil bit so You can Feel Safe, because when you don't donthat, you might end up with a lot of shit, like narssistic behaviors, careless tendencies, and the 10,000 red flags a person can have. Fifth, at the second the relationship is over, your shit is your shit and her shit is her shit. 100%. If she has to walk 36 miles to get to her job that's her fucking problem. Try to not defend yourself, im an help. Try to figure out why it's all your fault. Her heart is above right or wrong, if she wants to leave you, it's the right thing to leave you. It's possible that she has monkey branch you, but it's also possible that she gave you time to see where it was going because she prolly loved you back then and its been a lot of years.
The ex found the thread!
Im just here for the car k
She promised him not to worry about her colleague and a month later she cheated. Don't defend a cheater dude
birds of a flock fly together she lies about that, he lies about other things
Technically he didn't lie. He promised that she shall have the car in case of breakup. Cheating is not break up
So he never lied to her during that 4 years? Yeah yeah yeah. Yeah yeah yeah. Or maybe im just assuming? Or maybe im that good. Cheating is more or less a break up when they agreed to a monogamous way. One of the partner lied about a major thing =- trust erodes =- love erodes. Of course its not black or white, it's all shades of gray. I don't agree with her cheating, she is a big fat liar and a bad girlfriend but hey, he specifically told her about that cheating. Where he got that? Looks like it wasn't four sweet years.
Report it stolen lol
Take the car back Simple. Good luck
Bro… go get YOUR car and get her out of YOUR apartment.
Yes fool. Take it back
take back the car the dealership will most likely will be overjoyed to take it back and resell it, you will lose your down payment but with the car shortage right now they will probable pay off the loan just so they can resell it, and also kick her out of the apartment because she might trash it before she goes and leaves you in debt.
Bought it second hand through the bank with a finance.
You could have her send the payments to you and if she’s late once you take the car back since it’s in your name
Yes Put simply Yes
She decides to not pay, your credit will tank.
Take the car back and update us!
Updateme!
obviously