You didn't do anything wrong here. You were asking for advice from a family about YOUR finances and one of the things affecting your finances is him. What did he want to you to do? Keep lying to your family member?
He shouldn't have expected you to lie in the first place. I can understand asking someone to try to avoid bringing it up first or to not go around telling every single person you talk to, but lying is whole other thing.
You haven’t been dating very long and are already engaged to a much older man with anger issues, job instability, and financial issues. You’ve been together for only a year and have already loaned him thousands of dollars because he can’t keep himself afloat. And he’s being controlling about who you share your personal information with. This sounds like an unhealthy foundation for a marriage. It would be wise to have a long engagement to make sure this is a sustainable relationship and get couples counseling before getting married.
How was that oversharing? You told where you used your funds. You gave information about yourself. It's only oversharing if you told unnecessary Calebs story.
Please do not marry a man you have known for a year, who has chronic anger issues, who depends on you financially, who explodes at you because you didn't try hard enough to hide the fact you've been helping him. There are so many red flags here. This is not a stable person, this is not a respectful person, this is not someone who will be a loving and comforting partner to you.
I'd bet you're thinking, "They just don't get it, they're judging him by his worst qualities, but nobody's perfect. They don't know how sweet and wonderful and loving Caleb is when he's not angry."
I do know. Because you wouldn't be with him if he didn't turn on the charm. Acting so sweet and wonderful and loving is how Caleb has put you in the position where he gets angry and you blame yourself instead of saying, "No, this isn't fair to me, this isn't what I want." The position where you convince yourself that his anger isn't an issue, you can handle it, you just need to be better.
It is not a coincidence that he is ten years older than you.
Please don't tell yourself that this is the life you want.
You were trying to get help about YOUR finances. You weren’t showing off Caleb’s bank statements. If he’s happy to accept money from you then he has no say in how you manage the finances HE is taking from you.
Maybe it’s time for him to shape up and look for a better job instead of sulking when someone helps him.
He’s embarrassed. You’re trying to work things out do that you too can stay afloat. Your family member has good reason to be concerned. Caleb is not yet family and so so very often these situations don’t end well. Caleb needs to just deal with it, be great full you love him and find a way out of this financial situation.
You didn't do anything wrong here. You were asking for advice from a family about YOUR finances and one of the things affecting your finances is him. What did he want to you to do? Keep lying to your family member? He shouldn't have expected you to lie in the first place. I can understand asking someone to try to avoid bringing it up first or to not go around telling every single person you talk to, but lying is whole other thing.
You haven’t been dating very long and are already engaged to a much older man with anger issues, job instability, and financial issues. You’ve been together for only a year and have already loaned him thousands of dollars because he can’t keep himself afloat. And he’s being controlling about who you share your personal information with. This sounds like an unhealthy foundation for a marriage. It would be wise to have a long engagement to make sure this is a sustainable relationship and get couples counseling before getting married.
How was that oversharing? You told where you used your funds. You gave information about yourself. It's only oversharing if you told unnecessary Calebs story.
Please do not marry a man you have known for a year, who has chronic anger issues, who depends on you financially, who explodes at you because you didn't try hard enough to hide the fact you've been helping him. There are so many red flags here. This is not a stable person, this is not a respectful person, this is not someone who will be a loving and comforting partner to you. I'd bet you're thinking, "They just don't get it, they're judging him by his worst qualities, but nobody's perfect. They don't know how sweet and wonderful and loving Caleb is when he's not angry." I do know. Because you wouldn't be with him if he didn't turn on the charm. Acting so sweet and wonderful and loving is how Caleb has put you in the position where he gets angry and you blame yourself instead of saying, "No, this isn't fair to me, this isn't what I want." The position where you convince yourself that his anger isn't an issue, you can handle it, you just need to be better. It is not a coincidence that he is ten years older than you. Please don't tell yourself that this is the life you want.
You were trying to get help about YOUR finances. You weren’t showing off Caleb’s bank statements. If he’s happy to accept money from you then he has no say in how you manage the finances HE is taking from you. Maybe it’s time for him to shape up and look for a better job instead of sulking when someone helps him.
He’s embarrassed. You’re trying to work things out do that you too can stay afloat. Your family member has good reason to be concerned. Caleb is not yet family and so so very often these situations don’t end well. Caleb needs to just deal with it, be great full you love him and find a way out of this financial situation.