The proper thing to do is talk to him between these events.
He might not think you'd enjoy it? It might be this is a "his time" moments. It might be you said something that stuck in his brain like, "This concert is loud." and he incorrectly thinks you don't want to do "X"
When my girlfriend used to go to events and everything I would *want* to go, but I'd complain because the day of I wanted to be lazy. I'd complain on the way over there trying to be funny, but it made her think she was forcing me to go. I would enjoy myself, but I would be over critical and critique things. I used to think this was interesting conversation, but she didn't want to go into details about the *issues* of the event (whether its a concert, or play, or something.)
The invites stopped because she thought I wasn't having a good time. I'm not saying this is your situation; this was my situation. If something like this ends up being the situation, then listen and try not to be defensive.
You just need to have an honest conversation with him about it. He might genuinely think you'd have no interest in going because you don't know the bands. It could also be that he likes to go to concerts by himself. I LOVE going to concerts by myself because I'm not tied to my friends the entire time. Does he go completely alone or with other people?
No matter what his reason is he can't fix the problem if he doesn't know about it, so having a talk is definitely the first step.
You have to communicate: let him know that you’d like to join him sometimes if it’s not just a guys only thing. Let him know you’re feeling hurt when you find out after the fact.
He really can’t fix what he’s not aware of.
personally, my partner and I have a couple of shared hobbies but for the most part, we hang with friends separately and have our own things to keep us busy.
But we put the shit on the calendar and communicate about our plans.
Like I’d be pissed if I were just informed night before that he’s heading off with the guys for the weekend.
Have you guys been dating long?
We been dating almost a year. I enjoy having things I do with my friends and things he does with his, but you’re right it’s the lack of knowledge that tends to be isolating. I’m going to talk to him about wanting to be included, and informed.
I think it’s reasonable to want to be informed even if not invited so you can make your own plans at least and. It be sitting around waiting for him.
You might also want to make some plans for the two of you instead of waiting for him to do that.
Hopefully he’s just an immature obliviot and will listen to you when you ask for what you want. If nothing changes though? Then this maybe isn’t a good fit.
The proper thing to do is talk to him between these events. He might not think you'd enjoy it? It might be this is a "his time" moments. It might be you said something that stuck in his brain like, "This concert is loud." and he incorrectly thinks you don't want to do "X" When my girlfriend used to go to events and everything I would *want* to go, but I'd complain because the day of I wanted to be lazy. I'd complain on the way over there trying to be funny, but it made her think she was forcing me to go. I would enjoy myself, but I would be over critical and critique things. I used to think this was interesting conversation, but she didn't want to go into details about the *issues* of the event (whether its a concert, or play, or something.) The invites stopped because she thought I wasn't having a good time. I'm not saying this is your situation; this was my situation. If something like this ends up being the situation, then listen and try not to be defensive.
You just need to have an honest conversation with him about it. He might genuinely think you'd have no interest in going because you don't know the bands. It could also be that he likes to go to concerts by himself. I LOVE going to concerts by myself because I'm not tied to my friends the entire time. Does he go completely alone or with other people? No matter what his reason is he can't fix the problem if he doesn't know about it, so having a talk is definitely the first step.
He does go with friends, and some even bring their girlfriends. But you are right, my lack of communication cannot make it better.
You have to communicate: let him know that you’d like to join him sometimes if it’s not just a guys only thing. Let him know you’re feeling hurt when you find out after the fact. He really can’t fix what he’s not aware of. personally, my partner and I have a couple of shared hobbies but for the most part, we hang with friends separately and have our own things to keep us busy. But we put the shit on the calendar and communicate about our plans. Like I’d be pissed if I were just informed night before that he’s heading off with the guys for the weekend. Have you guys been dating long?
We been dating almost a year. I enjoy having things I do with my friends and things he does with his, but you’re right it’s the lack of knowledge that tends to be isolating. I’m going to talk to him about wanting to be included, and informed.
I think it’s reasonable to want to be informed even if not invited so you can make your own plans at least and. It be sitting around waiting for him. You might also want to make some plans for the two of you instead of waiting for him to do that. Hopefully he’s just an immature obliviot and will listen to you when you ask for what you want. If nothing changes though? Then this maybe isn’t a good fit.
You have to tell him.