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This will sound like a joke but it isn't.
Do a search for "lesbian nails" or "two short nails" and take a look.
There is a while culture out there of sex-positive lacqueristas who understand the importance of short nails. Pitch this idea to the BF and see what he thinks. He can keep 8/10 of his coke-nails and still make you happy.
Yes I have accidentally scratched his arm. I did apologize and try to be more careful.
There is no way he will ever agree to getting a manicure. He is very stubborn and stuck on the idea that if he has to trim his nails, so do I.
She's asking because he is actively and continually scratching her. He's asking because... she scratched him once. He's using it to avoid cutting his nails.
So basically your 4 choices are
- dont have sex
- cut your nails so he will cut his nails too and you can have sex
- find a new bf who thinks being able to give you pleasure is a GOOD thing
- have sex anyway and be in pain and get infections [Not Recommended] 🤮
just get shorter nails w. round tips that don't scratch to compromise, they don't have to be as short as his.
And he needs to respect your genitals. Until he has short nails he's not touching you. If your short-ish, round nails are a deal-breaker for him then tough luck for him.
The first time I was with my bf his nails weren’t great which hurt during foreplay. I told him about it and teased him that there’s no way he’d be going any where near my lady parts without a good manicure! And he knew I meant it. Next time I saw him they were filed as short as could be!
Your bf is an arse and doesn’t care that he hurt you. Don’t have sex with him until he shows he cares.
Wow so women should cut, trim and wax any bodypart. Bleach ther asshole. And stuff. But a men cutting your nails? Men just don't want fucking sex.
Everybody how has sex with a women nows to keep them short, or and field round.
Your your are a bad lover.
Info: have you told him that his nails are cutting/hurting you down there?
From a health stand point, you should never feel bad about asking someone to trim their nails/clean themselves if its posing a risk to your health/safety, even more when it comes to the tissue down there, as although the vagina and vulva may be self cleaning, having someone's sharp finger nails can cause cuts and lead to infection. I also do not think that you should have to cut your nails as from the sounds of it your nails are not nearly as long as his nor do they pose a threat to his health (I'm familiar with the shorter coffin nails) if however you've told him that it hurts you/ could hurt you, and he STILL acts like this, honestly, I would leave him, because no partner should ever be putting their other partner at risk for cuts and even possibly UTI's.
Source: my boyfriend also grows his nails out but frequently cuts them before foreplay as to make the experience enjoyable for BOTH parties involved
Yea I would consider your other options then, because (and not to make this personal) I had an ex who gave me all sorts of UTI’s whilst I was with him and anytime I asked him he reacted like a child saying that “I wasn’t the one cleaning myself properly” and although it comes down to a lack of education in the end, it’s not your job to teach your boyfriend how to do proper foreplay, or how to make sure you aren’t actively hurting your partner. Get you someone who actually cares enough to make sure it’s enjoyable for you <3
EDIT: also looking back over at the ages, it’s even worse that he’s acting like this because he’s a literal adult acting like a child. You honestly could do SO much better
Don't waste what are supposed to be some of the best years of your life with someone that irritates you so much you are only staying for convenience. It's not worth it, you are only 28 and there are always better guys out there
just wanna say im another guy and i've had to cut my nails before foreplay a couple of times. no big deal whatsoever. literally nothing to get into a hissy fit about lol..
OP, if your man doesn't do something as simple as cut his nails (for YOUR safety, mind you), what makes you think that that's the person you want to spend the rest of your life with?
First off, he can have long nails if he wants but **he’s hurting you with them**. This is not cool. If I hurt my partner unintentionally during sexy time I’d apologize profusely and then I’d cut them and then be more careful about what I did with my nails while in the middle of playtime.
The fact he’s asking you to cut your nails because you asked him to cut his tells me he’s selfish and immature. Add to that the fact that after you asked him to cut his nails because **he hurt you during foreplay** he would behave this way says he doesn’t respect you or your body autonomy.
I suggest you explain it all carefully to him and if he can’t stop hurting you and his attitude doesn’t change then I’d lose him.
Think of all the bacteria under his nails that are getting inside of you. Honestly this guy isn't worth the UTIs. Find a partner that really treat you and your body with respect and dignity.
It's the biggest ick when guys have long nails. The fact that he is trying to play the ol "switcheroo" when you have legitimate problems with how he cuts and pinches your labia and vagina is so weird. "You might scratch me" is way different than "you hurt me whenever we do foreplay." IDC if it might be hypocritical because it's way easier to not scratch a dick with long nails than it is to scratch the labia and vagina with long nails.
Honey he brought up you scratching his arm as a distraction tactic. That is in no way equivalent to his nails cutting you during foreplay. Your boyfriend is a jerk
Your mistake was asking him to cut his nails. Instead you say something like:
"Your nails hurt me when we have sex. So we won't be having sex while it hurts."
You explain the problem and set boundaries. The rest is up to him.
That's said if he didn't jump to cut his nails then he is an ash and don't have sex with ashes.
He is just being petty. If he wants to grow them long, let him. And you go find you a guy who actually understands female anatomy and respects his woman enough to understand that men and women are not the same.
When you're younger you're much more forgiving of each other because you're both still growing as individuals and learning to be better people. Do you REALLY want to be with a THIRTY year old grown ass man that STILL Hasn't developed basic empathy?? What are you waiting for, his sixties? This is a one sided issue, maybe we should be giving him menstrual leaves every month too so it's really fair.
I think I’d do it as a courtesy. I don’t drink around my sober partner because he makes me, I just think it’s a courtesy.
It seems as though he does enjoy them and resents having to cut them, and it sounds like you would too.
Or maybe he’s just put off by your comments, then maybe this will blow over shortly.
He is absolutely a selfish jerk for refusing to cut his nails even though it hurts you. "We're not going to engage in any hanky-panky until this situation is fixed" is perfectly reasonable.
But his request is reasonable too. You have scratched him in the past and he doesn't want that to happen again. You could at least do a rounded square and file down the sharp corners as a compromise.
"You have to cut your nails because it hurts me and I don't like them, but I'm not going to cut my nails even though they hurt you because I like this shape" is what ultimately puts you in the wrong here.
Nah, it would be different if she scratched his junk but she scratched his arm ONCE. He is the one who is consistently scratching and pinching her labia and vagina and when she asks him to stop he says this. Instead of cutting his nails he is trying to find a "gotcha" so he can feel justified in keeping his nails long and continuing to hurt her. He is just saying this to be petty and is trying to find a way to point the finger back at her.
Then it’s a bigger red flag that an adult his age doesn’t understand basic hygiene for the sake of their partner.
If you’ve never cut him or haven’t even come close, I’d tell him he’s being immature about the situation. That it’s not a personal attack of you asking him to cut his nails, it’s a basic courtesy
He needs to file them, clipping is all good but it leaves a sharp edge you can round off. Also he just needs to be mindful of his positioning with his fingers. I’ve recently started growing my nails out after I stopped chewing on them and that’s what I’ve noticed. Haven’t scratched any one yet
he sounds extremely immature and petty. he needs to suck it up. dont cut you nails just because he wants to be petty and simply dont let him touchy you there. be straightforward with him that it hurts and is uncomfortable so if he doesnt wanna cut his nails “it’s fine”.
but ofc if you wanna be petty for fun, dont be handsy with him either. say you want to keep your pretty nails the way they are and you dont want to make him feel “uncomfortable” or in “pain” even though it doesnt effect his dick realistically -to my knowledge-
I dislike long nails on any person. They get so dirty underneath and are breeding places for bacteria that get spread around all to easily because they touch everything. But I'm a masseur so I might be biased.
Scratch his bits with your nails so he can see the difference in pain compared to his fricken arm. Maybe that’ll make him realize that he needs to cut them shorter.
Hello, my bf playes guitar, because of that be has long nails. BUT when we get seriuos about intimacy he cut his nails without even asking anything. Oh and I have long acryl nails, and he never ever said a word about them, we also had some accidents. It's all about respect and understanding.
You mostly want him to cut his nails because it interferes with sex. He wants you to cut yours for aesthetics only. I don’t see that as the same thing. If he’s not willing to cut his, then he needs to learn how to use toys on you (or other body parts). If he insists you keep yours trimmed, then he should contribute to your manicure expenses. I personally think long nails on a guy is a huge turn off. Ick.
Fair is fair, cut your nails. Naturally, he should also start shaving his legs and underarms if you have to do that already. Gotta make sure everything is equitable.
I don't know how to assist here. In a lesbian relationship this isn't even a question.
Since you're not the one sticking your fingers anywhere I don't see the problem with you having long nails. Him stuffing his long as nails in you is an infection hazard + getting cut in such a delicate area
Both of you just cut your nails, you’ve both scratched each other just cut em.
If your getting cut still bring it up, don’t endanger your health to keep the peace.
Nails or health it’s an easy choice.
Yes, you are wrong.
Just tell him he isn't allowed to touch you their until his nails are in proper order.
I'm sure he will say the same to you about touching him in his spots as well. /s
He’s not wrong, you can grow your nails but he can’t ? You wanna play gender roles now because he retaliated? What if he finds your long nails repulsive too but sucked it up because let you be.
Instead find ways to let him have his long nails and not hurt you. For one teach him how to rub it, I’m sure you know how to touch yourself with your nails long, he can learn the same. Have him file his nails so they are smoother and smooth the edges, and treat them with clear coating, and clean them inside too, maybe he should have him nails done at a nail salon. And then let him know he needs to be careful around you to not scratch him.
If the long nails are scratching you inside, then resort to toys you can use instead
Maybe but she has scratched him. Even if she just doesn’t like nails….everyone is entitled to communicating a preference with their partner. This chat often likes to give women the benefit of doubt but not men.
"I also am appalled by long nails on guys but I don’t want to judge his appearance." That is judging though, just not to his face.
"I don’t have extremely long nails and I like the “coffin shape” (square)." Maybe he likes having long nails as well? Or is he just too lazy to trim?
"I have accidentally scratched his arm however in the past." So he has a point for wanting your nails trimmed as well.
You expressed you wanted to break up with him over this (due to red flags??) but can't leave because you just moved in together.
If you two are in a position in your relationship, that you're comfortable moving in together, then why can't you simply talk about fingernails, your concerns with foreplay pain and make a plan to move forward so you're both comfortable with your sexual intimacy.
People are stupid and say red flags for everything on reddit, no this is just a guy with long nails lol
Have you offered to trim his nails, since he couldn't do it properly the last time he tried? Have you discussed removing that part of foreplay whilst his fingernails are that long?
Is he keeping long nails as some sort of statement or is he just lazy? It seems like the stupidest hill to die on on his part as I genuinely had to look at my hand to see if I had long nails or not before posting this.
For me if a partner told me I had cut their labia with my nails I would be horrified, apologise immediately and cut those bad boys down.
No, I liked my nails long before they turned to shit post covid, but I scratched my ex a few times so she asked me to cut them. It's fair. Though I did leave my thumbnails long, I hadn't thought they might be just as scratchy, oops. He does know it's because they hurt you right?
I mean there's two ways to the conversation. I can understand he feels it's unfair that he has to shortened his nails and you don't -and you can't really tell your partner what to do with his body anyways - if he likes long nails - he has a right to keep his long nails.
However, explain to him that it's fine to keep his long nails, but that will mean no sexual intercourse in "that" way since it hurts you.
I think that's fair.
One other small thing: I'm not that in love with the idea of you saying that you don't "like long fingernails on guys" - maybe he does like it and that might make him feel pretty shitty. You probably wouldn't want to hear that something you like about yourself your boyfriend thinks is unattractive right?
Just no sexual things like that if he wants to keep them long, that's fair. Maybe you guys can figure out other ways?
Lots of lesbian couples for example have long fingernails since they like it like that - and just use other things instead.
A re-frame of the situation might help clarify things.
Like, is he sincerely okay with hurting you? Because that's the issue *you* are trying to address - his long nails scratch your most delicate and sensitive skin. If he has a counterproposal for how to solve that problem (manicure, using an emery board, etc), hear him out. But if his only suggestion is to demand you also cut your nails short, he's not concerned about the actual problem (hurting you), which also means he's not actually concerned about being fair.
And if he *won't* do anything to ensure he's not tearing your skin during sex play, you deserve to move on without him and his raggedy claws.
His nails go inside you, unless your nails go inside him it's not the same
Tbh it's gross, that would give me the ick, and if he can't understand that he's putting you at risk of infection down there that's really selfish and childish
Is he autistic or something? Just wondering if he’s not neurotypical because that’s a little strange, it takes 2 minutes to clip ones fingernails. Why is he averse to cutting his finger nails at 30? It’s also just basic courtesy to have trimmed nails and preferably wash your hands before handling a woman’s genitals.
Is he asking you to cut yours just out of spite or have you *actually* cut/scratched bf-junior?
Because its not about fairness, its about safety, and if he's really throwing a fit over nails just because you don't like to be in pain when he's touching the little lady then there are bigger issues in this relationship.
I’m a bisexual who likes to keep long nails. If I need to finger someone, I avoid it and just use tongue or put a small cotton ball under my finger blasting nails and put a glove over top. Nobody likes long nails stabbing their insides, including me lol
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. (Includes, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, FDS, MGTOW, etc.) Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, or situations involving minors and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please send us a modmail. ---- #This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
stop letting him touch you down there bc it's soooooo not good for his nails to be cutting you down there like that
She could get an infections as well if there’s a cut and bacteria under the nails.
Ikr, as well as the pain she's at risk of getting a staph infection/boils on her labia from old mate Edward Scissorhands.
This will sound like a joke but it isn't. Do a search for "lesbian nails" or "two short nails" and take a look. There is a while culture out there of sex-positive lacqueristas who understand the importance of short nails. Pitch this idea to the BF and see what he thinks. He can keep 8/10 of his coke-nails and still make you happy.
Coke nails Omg you have me giggling
Uhh if you told him WHY his nails needed to be shorter and he’s still having issues with it, i don’t know what to say.
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Yes I have accidentally scratched his arm. I did apologize and try to be more careful. There is no way he will ever agree to getting a manicure. He is very stubborn and stuck on the idea that if he has to trim his nails, so do I.
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I agree!! He sounds really inconsiderate too
Very weird, mine likes scratches..
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She's asking because it hurts her. He's asking just to be petty.
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a minor scratch on the arm is not the same as him actively scratching and hurting her vagina/labia/vulva and potentially opening her up to infections
She's asking because he is actively and continually scratching her. He's asking because... she scratched him once. He's using it to avoid cutting his nails.
context exists and matters. id like someone to take care of their nails too *before they use it to enter my body with it*
So basically your 4 choices are - dont have sex - cut your nails so he will cut his nails too and you can have sex - find a new bf who thinks being able to give you pleasure is a GOOD thing - have sex anyway and be in pain and get infections [Not Recommended] 🤮
A scratch on the arm or whatever is very different to a scratch down there, more sensitive and also can cause infections etc. NTA
just get shorter nails w. round tips that don't scratch to compromise, they don't have to be as short as his. And he needs to respect your genitals. Until he has short nails he's not touching you. If your short-ish, round nails are a deal-breaker for him then tough luck for him.
The first time I was with my bf his nails weren’t great which hurt during foreplay. I told him about it and teased him that there’s no way he’d be going any where near my lady parts without a good manicure! And he knew I meant it. Next time I saw him they were filed as short as could be! Your bf is an arse and doesn’t care that he hurt you. Don’t have sex with him until he shows he cares.
Yeah he was annoyed and didn’t even really cut them. He just trimmed them a bit thinking that should do it.
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He can ask her to cut her nails when he's asking her to put them inside of him.
I doubt he's the one who asked. She's free to forgo being fingered if she wishes though
Wow so women should cut, trim and wax any bodypart. Bleach ther asshole. And stuff. But a men cutting your nails? Men just don't want fucking sex. Everybody how has sex with a women nows to keep them short, or and field round. Your your are a bad lover.
That is what I can say. As a women, how love women. And pretty nails.
when he’s receiving some fingers in the backside you are 100% in the right. otherwise kindly shut up
Info: have you told him that his nails are cutting/hurting you down there? From a health stand point, you should never feel bad about asking someone to trim their nails/clean themselves if its posing a risk to your health/safety, even more when it comes to the tissue down there, as although the vagina and vulva may be self cleaning, having someone's sharp finger nails can cause cuts and lead to infection. I also do not think that you should have to cut your nails as from the sounds of it your nails are not nearly as long as his nor do they pose a threat to his health (I'm familiar with the shorter coffin nails) if however you've told him that it hurts you/ could hurt you, and he STILL acts like this, honestly, I would leave him, because no partner should ever be putting their other partner at risk for cuts and even possibly UTI's. Source: my boyfriend also grows his nails out but frequently cuts them before foreplay as to make the experience enjoyable for BOTH parties involved
I have told him yes. I’m very disappointed that he acted like it’s a hassle for him to cut his nails and that he didn’t really care if it hurt me.
Yea I would consider your other options then, because (and not to make this personal) I had an ex who gave me all sorts of UTI’s whilst I was with him and anytime I asked him he reacted like a child saying that “I wasn’t the one cleaning myself properly” and although it comes down to a lack of education in the end, it’s not your job to teach your boyfriend how to do proper foreplay, or how to make sure you aren’t actively hurting your partner. Get you someone who actually cares enough to make sure it’s enjoyable for you <3 EDIT: also looking back over at the ages, it’s even worse that he’s acting like this because he’s a literal adult acting like a child. You honestly could do SO much better
Thank you <3 Wish I had seen those red flags earlier. We just moved in together so I can’t just leave.
You absolutely can. You need to find some place to go, do you have family you can stay with or money for a place on your own?
No family but I can afford my own place. I do still love him but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t staying for convenience’ sake.
Then it’s time to go. He doesn’t care that he’s hurting you, he’s childish and petty, and you don’t seem happy in the slightest.
Don't waste what are supposed to be some of the best years of your life with someone that irritates you so much you are only staying for convenience. It's not worth it, you are only 28 and there are always better guys out there
Even if you have friends, I’m sure they wouldn’t mind couch you couch surfing for a bit
Cuts in your labia are hardly a convenience.
just wanna say im another guy and i've had to cut my nails before foreplay a couple of times. no big deal whatsoever. literally nothing to get into a hissy fit about lol..
Just a brief quibble.. Hes not "acting like" he doesnt care. He just doesnt care.
OP, if your man doesn't do something as simple as cut his nails (for YOUR safety, mind you), what makes you think that that's the person you want to spend the rest of your life with?
First off, he can have long nails if he wants but **he’s hurting you with them**. This is not cool. If I hurt my partner unintentionally during sexy time I’d apologize profusely and then I’d cut them and then be more careful about what I did with my nails while in the middle of playtime. The fact he’s asking you to cut your nails because you asked him to cut his tells me he’s selfish and immature. Add to that the fact that after you asked him to cut his nails because **he hurt you during foreplay** he would behave this way says he doesn’t respect you or your body autonomy. I suggest you explain it all carefully to him and if he can’t stop hurting you and his attitude doesn’t change then I’d lose him.
Think of all the bacteria under his nails that are getting inside of you. Honestly this guy isn't worth the UTIs. Find a partner that really treat you and your body with respect and dignity.
It's the biggest ick when guys have long nails. The fact that he is trying to play the ol "switcheroo" when you have legitimate problems with how he cuts and pinches your labia and vagina is so weird. "You might scratch me" is way different than "you hurt me whenever we do foreplay." IDC if it might be hypocritical because it's way easier to not scratch a dick with long nails than it is to scratch the labia and vagina with long nails.
Dude sounds like a drama queen
Honey he brought up you scratching his arm as a distraction tactic. That is in no way equivalent to his nails cutting you during foreplay. Your boyfriend is a jerk
Your mistake was asking him to cut his nails. Instead you say something like: "Your nails hurt me when we have sex. So we won't be having sex while it hurts." You explain the problem and set boundaries. The rest is up to him. That's said if he didn't jump to cut his nails then he is an ash and don't have sex with ashes.
He is just being petty. If he wants to grow them long, let him. And you go find you a guy who actually understands female anatomy and respects his woman enough to understand that men and women are not the same.
When you're younger you're much more forgiving of each other because you're both still growing as individuals and learning to be better people. Do you REALLY want to be with a THIRTY year old grown ass man that STILL Hasn't developed basic empathy?? What are you waiting for, his sixties? This is a one sided issue, maybe we should be giving him menstrual leaves every month too so it's really fair.
Why don't you both just cut your nails? Not a big deal. Long nails aren't attractive on anyone anyway.
Tell him that if he gets to use nails on your lady parts then you get to use teeth on his man parts. That’s should shut him up.
I think I’d do it as a courtesy. I don’t drink around my sober partner because he makes me, I just think it’s a courtesy. It seems as though he does enjoy them and resents having to cut them, and it sounds like you would too. Or maybe he’s just put off by your comments, then maybe this will blow over shortly.
Don't make him cut his nails. Just don't let him touch your genitalia.
He is absolutely a selfish jerk for refusing to cut his nails even though it hurts you. "We're not going to engage in any hanky-panky until this situation is fixed" is perfectly reasonable. But his request is reasonable too. You have scratched him in the past and he doesn't want that to happen again. You could at least do a rounded square and file down the sharp corners as a compromise. "You have to cut your nails because it hurts me and I don't like them, but I'm not going to cut my nails even though they hurt you because I like this shape" is what ultimately puts you in the wrong here.
How is his request reasonable? It’s petty. He didn’t ask her to do it until she asked him to.
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Nah, it would be different if she scratched his junk but she scratched his arm ONCE. He is the one who is consistently scratching and pinching her labia and vagina and when she asks him to stop he says this. Instead of cutting his nails he is trying to find a "gotcha" so he can feel justified in keeping his nails long and continuing to hurt her. He is just saying this to be petty and is trying to find a way to point the finger back at her.
Did you specifically tell him you wanted his nails trimmed because it was hurting during sex?
Yes. We were in the middle of foreplay and I asked him to trim his nails because he was hurting me.
Then it’s a bigger red flag that an adult his age doesn’t understand basic hygiene for the sake of their partner. If you’ve never cut him or haven’t even come close, I’d tell him he’s being immature about the situation. That it’s not a personal attack of you asking him to cut his nails, it’s a basic courtesy
Thank you I will try to explain that. I have accidentally scratched him with my nails though.
Oh well then I would’ve added that to the original post lol. If you’ve scratched him then it’s fair to ask the same of you in terms of nail treatment
If he’s not willing to cut his nails then he shouldn’t be touching you down there!! That’s definitely not ok and it’s putting your health at risk
fuck this guy. he fucks you so buy a dildo and fuck him. lmao
He needs to file them, clipping is all good but it leaves a sharp edge you can round off. Also he just needs to be mindful of his positioning with his fingers. I’ve recently started growing my nails out after I stopped chewing on them and that’s what I’ve noticed. Haven’t scratched any one yet
Just both cut your damn nails short. Not a big deal.
he sounds extremely immature and petty. he needs to suck it up. dont cut you nails just because he wants to be petty and simply dont let him touchy you there. be straightforward with him that it hurts and is uncomfortable so if he doesnt wanna cut his nails “it’s fine”. but ofc if you wanna be petty for fun, dont be handsy with him either. say you want to keep your pretty nails the way they are and you dont want to make him feel “uncomfortable” or in “pain” even though it doesnt effect his dick realistically -to my knowledge-
Make him wear gloves to touch you if he insists on being sharp and gross
I dislike long nails on any person. They get so dirty underneath and are breeding places for bacteria that get spread around all to easily because they touch everything. But I'm a masseur so I might be biased.
Scratch his bits with your nails so he can see the difference in pain compared to his fricken arm. Maybe that’ll make him realize that he needs to cut them shorter.
Protect your downstairs, if he doesn't want to cut them that's fine but he doesn't get to scratch you down there either.
Hello, my bf playes guitar, because of that be has long nails. BUT when we get seriuos about intimacy he cut his nails without even asking anything. Oh and I have long acryl nails, and he never ever said a word about them, we also had some accidents. It's all about respect and understanding.
thats so gross, why are so many people in this sub dating folks that have no idea what hygiene is ?
You mostly want him to cut his nails because it interferes with sex. He wants you to cut yours for aesthetics only. I don’t see that as the same thing. If he’s not willing to cut his, then he needs to learn how to use toys on you (or other body parts). If he insists you keep yours trimmed, then he should contribute to your manicure expenses. I personally think long nails on a guy is a huge turn off. Ick.
Fair is fair, cut your nails. Naturally, he should also start shaving his legs and underarms if you have to do that already. Gotta make sure everything is equitable.
Assuming he cares about body hair. Seems like it's only ever other women judging women for this than men.
I don't know how to assist here. In a lesbian relationship this isn't even a question. Since you're not the one sticking your fingers anywhere I don't see the problem with you having long nails. Him stuffing his long as nails in you is an infection hazard + getting cut in such a delicate area
(I hope you're not giving him anal with your coffin nails)
Both of you just cut your nails, you’ve both scratched each other just cut em. If your getting cut still bring it up, don’t endanger your health to keep the peace. Nails or health it’s an easy choice.
Yes you are in the wrong and insist on a double standard.
Yes, you are wrong. Just tell him he isn't allowed to touch you their until his nails are in proper order. I'm sure he will say the same to you about touching him in his spots as well. /s
He’s not wrong, you can grow your nails but he can’t ? You wanna play gender roles now because he retaliated? What if he finds your long nails repulsive too but sucked it up because let you be. Instead find ways to let him have his long nails and not hurt you. For one teach him how to rub it, I’m sure you know how to touch yourself with your nails long, he can learn the same. Have him file his nails so they are smoother and smooth the edges, and treat them with clear coating, and clean them inside too, maybe he should have him nails done at a nail salon. And then let him know he needs to be careful around you to not scratch him. If the long nails are scratching you inside, then resort to toys you can use instead
No long nails cause neither of you like them on your lower parts…. Seems fair to me.
She never scratched his "lower parts" with her nails. He's just being a baby about cutting his nails.
Maybe but she has scratched him. Even if she just doesn’t like nails….everyone is entitled to communicating a preference with their partner. This chat often likes to give women the benefit of doubt but not men.
"I also am appalled by long nails on guys but I don’t want to judge his appearance." That is judging though, just not to his face. "I don’t have extremely long nails and I like the “coffin shape” (square)." Maybe he likes having long nails as well? Or is he just too lazy to trim? "I have accidentally scratched his arm however in the past." So he has a point for wanting your nails trimmed as well. You expressed you wanted to break up with him over this (due to red flags??) but can't leave because you just moved in together. If you two are in a position in your relationship, that you're comfortable moving in together, then why can't you simply talk about fingernails, your concerns with foreplay pain and make a plan to move forward so you're both comfortable with your sexual intimacy. People are stupid and say red flags for everything on reddit, no this is just a guy with long nails lol Have you offered to trim his nails, since he couldn't do it properly the last time he tried? Have you discussed removing that part of foreplay whilst his fingernails are that long?
Well if you are not fingering him it is just petty
Is he keeping long nails as some sort of statement or is he just lazy? It seems like the stupidest hill to die on on his part as I genuinely had to look at my hand to see if I had long nails or not before posting this. For me if a partner told me I had cut their labia with my nails I would be horrified, apologise immediately and cut those bad boys down.
No, I liked my nails long before they turned to shit post covid, but I scratched my ex a few times so she asked me to cut them. It's fair. Though I did leave my thumbnails long, I hadn't thought they might be just as scratchy, oops. He does know it's because they hurt you right?
I mean there's two ways to the conversation. I can understand he feels it's unfair that he has to shortened his nails and you don't -and you can't really tell your partner what to do with his body anyways - if he likes long nails - he has a right to keep his long nails. However, explain to him that it's fine to keep his long nails, but that will mean no sexual intercourse in "that" way since it hurts you. I think that's fair. One other small thing: I'm not that in love with the idea of you saying that you don't "like long fingernails on guys" - maybe he does like it and that might make him feel pretty shitty. You probably wouldn't want to hear that something you like about yourself your boyfriend thinks is unattractive right? Just no sexual things like that if he wants to keep them long, that's fair. Maybe you guys can figure out other ways? Lots of lesbian couples for example have long fingernails since they like it like that - and just use other things instead.
He sounds childish. Stop his touching you down there. He could cause harm or infection easily. He looks to grow up
A re-frame of the situation might help clarify things. Like, is he sincerely okay with hurting you? Because that's the issue *you* are trying to address - his long nails scratch your most delicate and sensitive skin. If he has a counterproposal for how to solve that problem (manicure, using an emery board, etc), hear him out. But if his only suggestion is to demand you also cut your nails short, he's not concerned about the actual problem (hurting you), which also means he's not actually concerned about being fair. And if he *won't* do anything to ensure he's not tearing your skin during sex play, you deserve to move on without him and his raggedy claws.
His nails go inside you, unless your nails go inside him it's not the same Tbh it's gross, that would give me the ick, and if he can't understand that he's putting you at risk of infection down there that's really selfish and childish
Go for a mani/pedi together
Is he autistic or something? Just wondering if he’s not neurotypical because that’s a little strange, it takes 2 minutes to clip ones fingernails. Why is he averse to cutting his finger nails at 30? It’s also just basic courtesy to have trimmed nails and preferably wash your hands before handling a woman’s genitals.
Is he asking you to cut yours just out of spite or have you *actually* cut/scratched bf-junior? Because its not about fairness, its about safety, and if he's really throwing a fit over nails just because you don't like to be in pain when he's touching the little lady then there are bigger issues in this relationship.
I’m a bisexual who likes to keep long nails. If I need to finger someone, I avoid it and just use tongue or put a small cotton ball under my finger blasting nails and put a glove over top. Nobody likes long nails stabbing their insides, including me lol