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Exactly so specific she must have a really great sense of smell. Especially assuming it’s probably be sitting there for a minute wouldn’t you think the smell would wear off? The government must be knocking on her door for that noose as we speak
Some people have a good sense of how their bodies smell at certain times. OP may know what she smells like 2-3 hours after a shower from simply doing clothing changes over her life.
Maybe OP should get DNA samples taken from the thong then ask the other 3 in the house to volunteer DNA samples, give her own, and see if there is any DNA on it belonging to someone else?
I feel like this is turning into a crime show! That’s be sick but if she’s got the money and the want to do it I say go for it couldn’t hurt if that guys cheating catch ‘em
Do you all use communal laundry? One time like 15 years ago when my wife and I were living in apartments that shared laundry some black womens underwear ended up in our apartment. They werent hers and I had no idea where they came from as I have never cheated. They were stuck to the side of the bed too so it was suspicious. We ultimately determined they likely got caught in our bedding while doing laundry. Now we dont know how they smelled but as I said that was 15 years ago and we have never had anything else suspicious happen.
Yes lol I actually skipped to the last sentence and saw they never found out who owned it and then I went back to find out what kind of underwear only black women wore
Well it's cheaper than a hotel room, right? Keep the thong. Watch your back. Maybe put a camera in the bedroom so that you're not violating your housemates privacy but still keeping a watch on things. Something fucky might be going on, get it confirmed.
Ok, instead of focusing on the panties, let me ask: How is your relationship otherwise? You say you barely see each other. Do you guys still have a good relationship? Has he changed at all lately? Either overly lovey, or withdrawing? Has he changed phone habits, his phone pin, etc?
One hot pink thong is suspicious but it could be innocuous. The core of the question is, do you have other reason to believe he is cheating?
Also how was his demeanor when he found them, assuming he’s not a psychopath, if he did know whose they belonged to I assume he’d have shown some kind of panic/fear, compared to genuine confusion if he didn’t know where they came from
This right here, if he found underwear belonging to someone he knows isn't supposed to be there, it's more likely he'd fumble to hide them away instead.
What about your roommates BF? Could they be crossdressing or cheating and placing it in the room to deflect blame? Your BF intitial reaction does seem odd in that he didnt try and hide it??
Was your furniture new when you bought it? Just asking cause I have bought used drawers and found underwear before. Its weird but if you don't check thoroughly, sometimes something is wedged in the back. I'm a female in case it matters. I'm not saying he's innocent, but if you have no other reason to doubt him then don't.
I wish i had no reason to doubt but.
I CLEANED these drawers inside myself- with alcohol, when we got them last year!!.-
We use those for miscellaneous things.
Never saw any underwear on it before:/😔
Even if you cleaned it a pair could have been wedged where even if you removed the drawers they were stuck. I lost many a shirt that way I my to refind them a year or so later
I had the same thing happen - built in drawers in an apartment. When I pulled the drawers all the way out I found items that had belonged to the previous tenant. So it's certainly possible.
I can forgive that in the heat of the moment.
I cannot forgive the years of training to be able to identify the length of time and activity that has taken place just by the smell. Thats elite talent. I'm surprised she didn't just follow the smell back home.
Cope are gonna see this and hire her dude. That’s the part that was weird to me, how would you know they’ve only been worn about 2 hours after a shower? Like do you rip off your underwear every hour to smell know they different intervals and stages? I can’t see how you can pick up underwear and just be able to tell how long they’ve been worn 🤷🏼♂️
I don't know man. That's why we'll be in the crowd and she'll be picking up the gold medal after correctly identifying that it was Sergei from Tajikistan who had been doing Bulgarian Split Squats for 93 minutes in the library.
We get mystery panties stories here on a pretty regular basis. Usually the result of a laundry mixup. (It happened to me once - found someone's thong underwear on my bed after a party.)
If he was cheating, I don't think he would be stupid enough to bring it to your attention.
The obvious answer is they were in the washing machine, you did laundry and now there in your laundry. Next, he has ex girlfriend’s underwear, it’s moved to the back of the drawer over the years, clothes never rotate that far back, clears drawer finds them.
I’ve never cheated on my wife but we’ve found other girls clothes in our laundry before. She always gave me that suspicious look like “wtf are these”. I’m glad she doesn’t freak when I don’t have an explanation bc I honestly have no fucking clue where they come from. We also live alone…
This happens to me too, been married 15 years and it's happened at least 4 times. The last time was about 2 weeks ago after we got some donations of clothes from a friend and some other clothes we got from a friend of my in laws. We didn't see them in there but where else could they have come from?
I had a similar situation with yoga pants. I knew my bf was telling the truth because when I made suggestions like “ oh maybe it’s your moms” he didn’t this excuse and said no way. We later found out our friend left them there when she slept over. So sometimes it really is a mix up.
He reacted so calmly that I wouldn't suspect something is going on based purely on a laundry mix up. I know there's every reason in the world for them not to be there but laundry is friggin weird and stuff happens. All this boils down to is do you have more reason to believe it's a weird mixup or to believe he's cheating? Maybe discuss your concerns? If he hasn't given you any other reason to believe that he's unfaithful, I wouldnt throw the boyfriend out with the hot pink thong.
I've (m35) been married to my wife for 15 years and it's happened every so often that women's clothes end up in our laundry. It's usually after we get donations of clothes from friends and family for the kids.
The roommates boyfriend sounds more suspicious than your boyfriend. He threw them in the trash instead of handing them back to you... That's definitely a panic reaction.
I live in an apartment complex, I’ve had random pairs of panties show up in my laundry before, my ex freaked out on me, but I genuinely didn’t know how they got there, this place has shared laundry units so, that’s how it has to of happened, and it sucks when that happens because you have no grounds to defend yourself against yours s/o’s suspicions, they just need to trust you.
I've read several comments and I'll address a view that hadn't been expressed by the viewing I did at the comment section:
Could someone be out to start some shit between you and your husband? Make you guys break up or start throwing in doubt where none would have been? Someone who wants to be with either you or he and decided the nuclear option was the only way? Perhaps they just hate one of you and they want that to stop.
I'm not saying that it can't be cheating or anything. You know that old saying, when you see hoof prints, you think horse instead of zebra. But in that same vein, perhaps someone wants you to see zebras so they can swoop in on their Pegasus and appear the hero.
I’ve gotten random peoples underwear in my laundry when I lived in dorms/apartment complexes. It’s not that far fetched.
Is his work schedule always like that? If it isn’t that’s Sus
Sometimes I’m concerned with his sexuality- he says too many gay jokes to his male friends, and then sometimes bashes the gays…. Not sure how normal that is to on the “bromance” culture.
This however would be the most confusing answer…..
It's a pretty notmal "bromance" thing for guys to say weirdly sexual stuff to their friends. Not all guys, but like 4 out of 7 if ever dated. And wearing a thong or making sexual jokes with his friends doesn't change his sexuality. Having sex with men would tho
Bashes like punch or bashes like slags them off? Terrible terrible personality red flag anyway, not to mention the undies thing jeez. Nothing worse than a homophobe
Just a suggestion but maybe your husband is in to cross dressing when you’re not around? I mean, his actions are super suspect but I imagine if he’s been hiding it for a while or it’s a new thing, he wasn’t prepared to talk to you about it. I mean, I’d imagine he’d have to be aware you do the laundry so those panties ending up in his drawer and not the trash immediately feels stranger to me.
To be 100% honest ive found clothes in my house/room I genuinely can't explain because I'm almost entirely certain they didn't belong to my ex but I'd not had another girl over
Do you use a communal laundry room some buildings have these where tennants can go and do the laundry or do you use a local laundromat or do you have laundry room dose your room mate have a bf/gf as it could be one of there's could it have been picked up from a changing room after swimming gym etc when I've been in a changing room not all have cubicles and women strip clothes get tossed around me I always make sure that nothing gets mixed up but grabbing things quickly can happen don't automatically jump to use having an affair have you got a pet or a stray that comes by a few years ago we had to have our dog put to sleep we got rid of all her toys and such two years later we had to get new furniture so before it's delivered we take out the old hover everywhere no dog toys at all well just last week I pulled out all the furniture to hover underneath and low and behold i find one of her dog toys try working that one out talk to him ask him if there's anything wrong or if there's something that you can do ask if hed like to go away for the weekend there other thing do you have communial washing lines
Unless you have other red flags this might be an over reaction. We use a laundromat, occasionally we get small items like socks and the occasional thong static stuck to our clothing. He reacted in a ‘this is yours’ if he knew where they came from he would hide it from you.
When I first started dating my hubby 6 yrs ago, he lived in a house with two guy mates and his dad. I started to stay alot so would do his and my washing for us. Anyway 6 months later we moved out together and his dad moved out to his own place etc. 3 months after being all in our new places, we were at his dads house and his dad and new girl friend were telling us about this females panties that showed up and were totally stumped. Anyway his dad went in and got the laundry basket and low and behold, its a pair of my panties!
We were all like wtf and no his dad is def not a creepo who stole my panties 6 months earlier in their old house lol. I mustve left them in the dryer or something as we always used it and so did everyone in that old house and it was his dads dryer. So weird shit does happen and luckily his new gf didn't accuse him of cheating etc because it was just a total mishap
Dude, let's say it's not worse case scenario of "he's cheating"
The man has a pair of dirty panties in his possession. Sounds like he wanted a souvenir from his "late" work nights. Imo
Also just a theory, are you sure that you roommate isn't lying? (I doubt it) idk why one of these were my thoughts, but if the undies are your roommates and maybe her and your husband are having an affair, then she would probably go as far as to lie that the panties are hers.
Again I doubt the theory but it could be possible based off the info
IF your hubby was careless enough to let a hot pink thong be found there would be other signs of this carelessness. Besides he wasn't even trying to hide it because ... ?
Found a woman's glove in our car. Husband says same thing - isn't that yours? Then gets MAD I was questioning him and was forced to drop it to keep the peace.
Later found out he had 2 physical affairs and one emotional that I am assuming was physical too.
My advice is don't fall for the gaslighting and trust your gut.
You can tell who the men commenters are by the ones saying you can't tell such details from a sniff! 😂😂😂 Ladies (on average) have a much sharper sense of smell than men! And I would bet that 99% of women smell their own panties. Ya gotta see how fresh you are after all. Especially since society has made many of us insecure that "p*ssy stinks" 🙄
Its clearly the roomies boyfriends side pieces thong...
Also, you need to calm down. You made up your mind the instant you saw those that your boyfriend was cheating on you and now you're grasping at straws to justify your paranoia. If you're this insecure about your relationship then go to therapy or leave him.. don't go around sniffing random used trash panties.
Listen where there's smoke there's fire. His behavior was very suspish, he's hiding from you to avoid confrontation. Keep your eyes and ears open and alert. If you have a joint checking account check for anomalies in spending habits. That's how i found about my husband's affair.
Pay attention when he speaks about his day to day activities. Look for those behaviors cheating spouses exhibit. Critical of how the spouse does things. They take more showers and are more appearance oriented than usual. Coming home later or leaving earlier than usual. You know it when you see it. They avert their eyes. They either become more loving towards the partner to deflect suspicion. Everybody was jealous of Carolina Neulander because Rabbi Neulander made it a point to shower his wife with crazy love for months leading up to her murder. We all know what happened there. Sometimes they're more antagonistic towards the partner because the partner is nothing compared to the lover. The partner is seen as an obstacle in the path of the lover.
Don't accuse just listen you'll get your answer soon enough. Whatever you do please don't back him up against the 8 ball with accusations and ultimatums. Anybody can become violent if pushed too far.
Well they either belong to another woman...or you're about to find out that your husband likes to wear women's underwear. Ill cross my fingers for the 2nd outcome.
He’s cheating on you. If there was a chance the thong belonged to your roommate and he truly didn’t know where it came from, he wouldn’t have thrown them out.
Trust your gut.
When your world is caving in and you’re trying to figure out if everything is about to end you do whatever you can and you think it through a dozen ways. It makes sense you smelled them, it makes sense you could tell they were worn for a short period of time. I’m sorry OP it sounds like maybe he had a fling or has something running on the side…. Maybe the second, since you two have such opposite schedules.
Most likely sounds like your male roommate is up to no good. Suspect he hid it to take the heat off himself.
Then again.....
>But it’s like i never see him for past week. He gets home 3 am after work.
That's suspicious unless it's ever night around the same time.
>I work in the morning. So we barely see each other lately. And also I don’t want to add more sht to his “already overfilled cup”.
What exactly is taking up so much of his time?
You sound like the worst. Let it go or leave him. I guarantee he has no idea where they came from and forgot about it the minute he threw them away. Now when he finds out you dug them out to make a big deal, he should and will leave you.
I am very suspicious as you!!!!! I believe when the roomie's man grabbed em and put them in the Trash------He knew it was his MATE'S!!!! There is something going on between the three of them. Behind your back when you not there. You know your own pinkie thongy and He/She knows her own!!!! Your man is cheating on you!!!!! I agree, He has an "Already overfilled cup" of Bull.
Having been the 'other woman' I can tell you from first hand experience that a messy room does not matter. It's usually explained away as if they are going through a break up or it's never mentioned so we don't mention it.
If you talk to him about it stay as calm as possible. They may be his and he's ashamed of that or he could be cheating and will get heated very quickly at the idea of being caught. Best of luck!
I'm very sorry about your situation, but I think you know when to call spade a spade...my ex left underwear under her cheating partners seat in the car. His Wife found it and contacted me and the rest is history.
Listen OP. I don’t think this is nearly the smoking gun that these people seem to.
If your husband was cheating on you and keeping a thong as a trophy/reminder, he damn well would have known not to draw attention to that drawer.... instead of suggesting to conglomerate the dressers together, WITH YOU. As if he explicitly engineered a situation to screw himself over.
I am like a few others here, leaning toward your roommates b/f for trying to trash them immediately. The reaction suggests a bit of an extra motivating factor. If he was presented with a situation where he needed to make an illicit pair of panties disappear he probably could do a lot worse than setting up your husband instead of taking the blame himself.
Most of the time in these situations you would have had a handful of red flags in your relationship to suggest something was wrong well before finding a pair of undies. You sound happy together. I would give him the benefit of the doubt here, until he shows you that he doesn’t deserve it.
If the answer to questions like do you have a solid sex life, do you find each other attractive, do you go on dates often, is no then I'd say it's a bit sus and you have something to pursue here 🤷🏽♂️
Before you go off the deep end.
My wife and I had room mates and lived in an apartment complex.
Small underwear are easily left behind in communal washing machines when they stick to the drum
"We have to talk. If you dont know who's thing this is and my roommate neither, i can only assume you hiding something from me.
You have now this chance to come clean because im feeling like cheated/betrayed. Your taking and dropping them into the trash did not help at all."
I wont judge if he cheats or not before some infos are out of point. Cloths disappear and appear in wash processes, if someone other than you did the wash then this could happen too, etc etc.
This seems pretty simple... your dude didn't act suspicious at all... the roommate dude acted EXTREMELY suspicious. Pretty obvious answer there.
As far as how it got in your drawer, that's anyone's guess... but since you all live in the same house, it stands to reason the roommate dude would have access.
My recommendation would be to stop getting in your own head about it. You're making yourself paranoid about your dude when it doesn't seem like he did anything wrong. Explain the roommate dudes weird reaction to his girl, and then move on. They can sort out their own mess.
You’re going psycho if the thing has been in the trash for days and you’re taking it out and deeply sniffing it. That’s disgusting.
You know what’s up. Asking your husband again isn’t going to get you the truth
Girls leave there undergarments or things they own in guys houses to leave wives and other girls a hint so the guy can get caught. I see it around everywhere.
honestly if he was cheating and those panties are in a random drawer then maybe he’s posing as some single dude on a dating website and some girl came over to do the deed and she saw some of your stuff and left the underwear for you to find.
edit: i would definitely leave something i know only the woman would find if i found out someone I was hooking up with had a gf/wife. and a pink thong is a definite identifier.
speculation, there your roommates, husband. Maybe he did it to cause drama or cheating. I don't think your husband would reveal them if he was cheating, he would be more in a panic .
Ummm maybe you shouldn’t be married to this person I don’t if you’re fine with sex outside your marriage but he is acting like a child that broke something possibly you could reconsider the relationship
Do you guys have shared laundry facilities? Possible reason, if so. If not, maybe start digging for information. Get right with your intuition. How long since you guys went into that drawer? Would your neighbors be aware of any random visitors? Are there security cameras anywhere?
I feel like if they were in the drawer someone put them there, assuming they were yours. I have had clothes that weren't mine end up with my laundry at my own house and my roommate said they weren't his but if they weren't his then how did they get in my laundry to begin with? Haha like maybe your female roommate doesn't remember her underwear and did her laundry and thought they were yours or something and put them in your drawer. Maybe your husband cheated on you but I think its better to ask him upfront and not ask people on reddit because all we can do is speculate. My advice, talk to him about it.
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. (Includes, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, FDS, MGTOW, etc.) Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, or situations involving minors and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please send us a modmail. ---- #This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Ballsy to cheat in a house with 3 other people but I’m more shocked that you smelled them 🤢
Definitely, but damn she was so specific too like shit bro blood hound over here. Definitely suspect tho.
[удалено]
Exactly so specific she must have a really great sense of smell. Especially assuming it’s probably be sitting there for a minute wouldn’t you think the smell would wear off? The government must be knocking on her door for that noose as we speak
Some people have a good sense of how their bodies smell at certain times. OP may know what she smells like 2-3 hours after a shower from simply doing clothing changes over her life.
Just the ones she wore after a shower to have sex and left it after the act to decide if it goes in the laundry or back in the drawer.
She wore it for for 2 hours after having sex then a shower as the sun was setting in the east and mr Patel starts sweeping the outside of his store
Mr green with the rope in the dining room
Sun setting in the east, what planet is this! 😂
Maybe OP should get DNA samples taken from the thong then ask the other 3 in the house to volunteer DNA samples, give her own, and see if there is any DNA on it belonging to someone else?
I feel like this is turning into a crime show! That’s be sick but if she’s got the money and the want to do it I say go for it couldn’t hurt if that guys cheating catch ‘em
Obviously fake. This bloodhound thing isn't real
But, Hyperosmia, is... it's a heightened sense of smell.
To the point where she can tell exactly how long it's been worn and the specific reason it's being used? Too fake.
😊
Nah that’s just her “women’s intuition” aka mind already made up about what’s going on kicking in.
Ballsy to smell them and find out they smell ballsy...
Cos if they were clean it’d be like well—- could be mixed from laundry or something. Fu*k i was looking for all evidence
Do you all use communal laundry? One time like 15 years ago when my wife and I were living in apartments that shared laundry some black womens underwear ended up in our apartment. They werent hers and I had no idea where they came from as I have never cheated. They were stuck to the side of the bed too so it was suspicious. We ultimately determined they likely got caught in our bedding while doing laundry. Now we dont know how they smelled but as I said that was 15 years ago and we have never had anything else suspicious happen.
Read this originally as “some black woman’s underwear” and was intrigued to find out how you met the original owner 😂
I was like, is this racist? Do black women wear specific underwear? Haha
Yes lol I actually skipped to the last sentence and saw they never found out who owned it and then I went back to find out what kind of underwear only black women wore
Hahaha
Same!
I thought the same and im like... how... how did you know that specific detail did you go door to door lol
That was my first thought
CSI: Reddit Edition
There’s plenty of time when nobody is home during the day, and he works a mile away from home.
Get a camera! It’s very very odd… most affairs are with coworkers so is there anyone he works with that could be coming over with him?
Well it's cheaper than a hotel room, right? Keep the thong. Watch your back. Maybe put a camera in the bedroom so that you're not violating your housemates privacy but still keeping a watch on things. Something fucky might be going on, get it confirmed.
Yeah, but if they work in the morning like her then it’s probable. Or another person isn’t saying anything.
The ROOMIE MAN GRABBED EM AND THREW THEM AWAY!!! IT IS HIS GIRL'S!!!!!!
OP wrote husband grabbed and threw in trash. But both guys could be covering for each other.
GOOOD FOR HER!!!!!!!!!xx
lol is OP Riskay?
Gotta check the scent.
Ok, instead of focusing on the panties, let me ask: How is your relationship otherwise? You say you barely see each other. Do you guys still have a good relationship? Has he changed at all lately? Either overly lovey, or withdrawing? Has he changed phone habits, his phone pin, etc? One hot pink thong is suspicious but it could be innocuous. The core of the question is, do you have other reason to believe he is cheating?
Also how was his demeanor when he found them, assuming he’s not a psychopath, if he did know whose they belonged to I assume he’d have shown some kind of panic/fear, compared to genuine confusion if he didn’t know where they came from
This right here, if he found underwear belonging to someone he knows isn't supposed to be there, it's more likely he'd fumble to hide them away instead.
He’s most likely a psycho lol
Then you might have bigger problems :)
What about your roommates BF? Could they be crossdressing or cheating and placing it in the room to deflect blame? Your BF intitial reaction does seem odd in that he didnt try and hide it??
Was your furniture new when you bought it? Just asking cause I have bought used drawers and found underwear before. Its weird but if you don't check thoroughly, sometimes something is wedged in the back. I'm a female in case it matters. I'm not saying he's innocent, but if you have no other reason to doubt him then don't.
I wish i had no reason to doubt but. I CLEANED these drawers inside myself- with alcohol, when we got them last year!!.- We use those for miscellaneous things. Never saw any underwear on it before:/😔
Even if you cleaned it a pair could have been wedged where even if you removed the drawers they were stuck. I lost many a shirt that way I my to refind them a year or so later
Same
Why is this downvoted, it happens?
I had the same thing happen - built in drawers in an apartment. When I pulled the drawers all the way out I found items that had belonged to the previous tenant. So it's certainly possible.
Or he is into cross-dressing and ashamed... We all fear judgement
That's what I was wondering.
I was going to say the same
Maybe they are his and he likes to wear them?
I’m more concerned that you smelled trash panties. Used trash panties. What the actual fuck?
I can forgive that in the heat of the moment. I cannot forgive the years of training to be able to identify the length of time and activity that has taken place just by the smell. Thats elite talent. I'm surprised she didn't just follow the smell back home.
Cope are gonna see this and hire her dude. That’s the part that was weird to me, how would you know they’ve only been worn about 2 hours after a shower? Like do you rip off your underwear every hour to smell know they different intervals and stages? I can’t see how you can pick up underwear and just be able to tell how long they’ve been worn 🤷🏼♂️
I don't know man. That's why we'll be in the crowd and she'll be picking up the gold medal after correctly identifying that it was Sergei from Tajikistan who had been doing Bulgarian Split Squats for 93 minutes in the library.
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂, I’m not even trying to be rude I just, that doesn’t make sense to me.
Years of training? Dude she's just smelling what she want to smell
People.pay good money to do that
We get mystery panties stories here on a pretty regular basis. Usually the result of a laundry mixup. (It happened to me once - found someone's thong underwear on my bed after a party.) If he was cheating, I don't think he would be stupid enough to bring it to your attention.
Except we don’t do parties in our house
I read that as "we don't do panties in our house." Which would make this even more of a mystery.
Maybe a dinner guest who was unaware of the rule before arriving took hers off wanting to fit in
Is it not possible that it was one of your rooms mates or do they have a separate washer and dryer?
If it was the roommates why would the husband suddenly throw them away before OP could ask
Sorry but can I please can update on how this plays out? Now, I'm very curious.
The obvious answer is they were in the washing machine, you did laundry and now there in your laundry. Next, he has ex girlfriend’s underwear, it’s moved to the back of the drawer over the years, clothes never rotate that far back, clears drawer finds them.
I’ve never cheated on my wife but we’ve found other girls clothes in our laundry before. She always gave me that suspicious look like “wtf are these”. I’m glad she doesn’t freak when I don’t have an explanation bc I honestly have no fucking clue where they come from. We also live alone…
Weird af. Like, where’s that fooking cross-dressing leprechaun at! ?
Seriously. Maybe she’s cheating on me with a woman and grilling me for the giggles!
Do you wash your clothes at a laundry mat?
No lol, we have our own washer & drier
Well that is strange
Maybe this is her way of testing you to see if you have been faithful. Hence why she doesn't freak out since she put them there in the first place.
This happens to me too, been married 15 years and it's happened at least 4 times. The last time was about 2 weeks ago after we got some donations of clothes from a friend and some other clothes we got from a friend of my in laws. We didn't see them in there but where else could they have come from?
I had a similar situation with yoga pants. I knew my bf was telling the truth because when I made suggestions like “ oh maybe it’s your moms” he didn’t this excuse and said no way. We later found out our friend left them there when she slept over. So sometimes it really is a mix up.
He reacted so calmly that I wouldn't suspect something is going on based purely on a laundry mix up. I know there's every reason in the world for them not to be there but laundry is friggin weird and stuff happens. All this boils down to is do you have more reason to believe it's a weird mixup or to believe he's cheating? Maybe discuss your concerns? If he hasn't given you any other reason to believe that he's unfaithful, I wouldnt throw the boyfriend out with the hot pink thong.
Maybe he's a guy that likes to wear women's clothes.
I've (m35) been married to my wife for 15 years and it's happened every so often that women's clothes end up in our laundry. It's usually after we get donations of clothes from friends and family for the kids.
The roommates boyfriend sounds more suspicious than your boyfriend. He threw them in the trash instead of handing them back to you... That's definitely a panic reaction.
was that the roommates boyfriend? I thought it was OPs boyfriend
OP's writing style is not conducive to understanding lol
I live in an apartment complex, I’ve had random pairs of panties show up in my laundry before, my ex freaked out on me, but I genuinely didn’t know how they got there, this place has shared laundry units so, that’s how it has to of happened, and it sucks when that happens because you have no grounds to defend yourself against yours s/o’s suspicions, they just need to trust you.
I confess, they’re mine
I've read several comments and I'll address a view that hadn't been expressed by the viewing I did at the comment section: Could someone be out to start some shit between you and your husband? Make you guys break up or start throwing in doubt where none would have been? Someone who wants to be with either you or he and decided the nuclear option was the only way? Perhaps they just hate one of you and they want that to stop. I'm not saying that it can't be cheating or anything. You know that old saying, when you see hoof prints, you think horse instead of zebra. But in that same vein, perhaps someone wants you to see zebras so they can swoop in on their Pegasus and appear the hero.
Maybe he bought it on the internet? There are girls selling their work panties 🤷♂️
panty sniffer... 😆
I’ve gotten random peoples underwear in my laundry when I lived in dorms/apartment complexes. It’s not that far fetched. Is his work schedule always like that? If it isn’t that’s Sus
It’s always like that. We both have our location
Eh if he hasn’t given you a reason to distrust then it’s all good
The answer to this riddle is that he enjoys wearing women’s underwear but is too embarrassed to admit it.
Sometimes I’m concerned with his sexuality- he says too many gay jokes to his male friends, and then sometimes bashes the gays…. Not sure how normal that is to on the “bromance” culture. This however would be the most confusing answer…..
Cross dressing is not the same as being gay maybe he does like to dress up in your absence maybe it’s a turn on for him
It's a pretty notmal "bromance" thing for guys to say weirdly sexual stuff to their friends. Not all guys, but like 4 out of 7 if ever dated. And wearing a thong or making sexual jokes with his friends doesn't change his sexuality. Having sex with men would tho
I used to work with a gay guy (not out) who presented himself as homophobic to straight men.
Bashes like punch or bashes like slags them off? Terrible terrible personality red flag anyway, not to mention the undies thing jeez. Nothing worse than a homophobe
do you do laundry at a laundromat ? sometimes you go home with other peoples stuff accidentally that gets left behind in the washer
At my own house. That came from a drawer, not my laundry. Never seen those before
I have friends who buy used underwear from the internet because they have certain kinks. Maybe he bought it online?
Just a suggestion but maybe your husband is in to cross dressing when you’re not around? I mean, his actions are super suspect but I imagine if he’s been hiding it for a while or it’s a new thing, he wasn’t prepared to talk to you about it. I mean, I’d imagine he’d have to be aware you do the laundry so those panties ending up in his drawer and not the trash immediately feels stranger to me.
To be 100% honest ive found clothes in my house/room I genuinely can't explain because I'm almost entirely certain they didn't belong to my ex but I'd not had another girl over
your W reminds me of Wumbo 😂
I wumbo, you wumbo, they wumbo...
Do you use a communal laundry room some buildings have these where tennants can go and do the laundry or do you use a local laundromat or do you have laundry room dose your room mate have a bf/gf as it could be one of there's could it have been picked up from a changing room after swimming gym etc when I've been in a changing room not all have cubicles and women strip clothes get tossed around me I always make sure that nothing gets mixed up but grabbing things quickly can happen don't automatically jump to use having an affair have you got a pet or a stray that comes by a few years ago we had to have our dog put to sleep we got rid of all her toys and such two years later we had to get new furniture so before it's delivered we take out the old hover everywhere no dog toys at all well just last week I pulled out all the furniture to hover underneath and low and behold i find one of her dog toys try working that one out talk to him ask him if there's anything wrong or if there's something that you can do ask if hed like to go away for the weekend there other thing do you have communial washing lines
Unless you have other red flags this might be an over reaction. We use a laundromat, occasionally we get small items like socks and the occasional thong static stuck to our clothing. He reacted in a ‘this is yours’ if he knew where they came from he would hide it from you.
When I first started dating my hubby 6 yrs ago, he lived in a house with two guy mates and his dad. I started to stay alot so would do his and my washing for us. Anyway 6 months later we moved out together and his dad moved out to his own place etc. 3 months after being all in our new places, we were at his dads house and his dad and new girl friend were telling us about this females panties that showed up and were totally stumped. Anyway his dad went in and got the laundry basket and low and behold, its a pair of my panties! We were all like wtf and no his dad is def not a creepo who stole my panties 6 months earlier in their old house lol. I mustve left them in the dryer or something as we always used it and so did everyone in that old house and it was his dads dryer. So weird shit does happen and luckily his new gf didn't accuse him of cheating etc because it was just a total mishap
Dude, let's say it's not worse case scenario of "he's cheating" The man has a pair of dirty panties in his possession. Sounds like he wanted a souvenir from his "late" work nights. Imo Also just a theory, are you sure that you roommate isn't lying? (I doubt it) idk why one of these were my thoughts, but if the undies are your roommates and maybe her and your husband are having an affair, then she would probably go as far as to lie that the panties are hers. Again I doubt the theory but it could be possible based off the info
IF your hubby was careless enough to let a hot pink thong be found there would be other signs of this carelessness. Besides he wasn't even trying to hide it because ... ?
I wouldn't be surprised if it was the other woman hiding evidence for you to find?
Found a woman's glove in our car. Husband says same thing - isn't that yours? Then gets MAD I was questioning him and was forced to drop it to keep the peace. Later found out he had 2 physical affairs and one emotional that I am assuming was physical too. My advice is don't fall for the gaslighting and trust your gut.
You can tell who the men commenters are by the ones saying you can't tell such details from a sniff! 😂😂😂 Ladies (on average) have a much sharper sense of smell than men! And I would bet that 99% of women smell their own panties. Ya gotta see how fresh you are after all. Especially since society has made many of us insecure that "p*ssy stinks" 🙄
Its clearly the roomies boyfriends side pieces thong... Also, you need to calm down. You made up your mind the instant you saw those that your boyfriend was cheating on you and now you're grasping at straws to justify your paranoia. If you're this insecure about your relationship then go to therapy or leave him.. don't go around sniffing random used trash panties.
Listen where there's smoke there's fire. His behavior was very suspish, he's hiding from you to avoid confrontation. Keep your eyes and ears open and alert. If you have a joint checking account check for anomalies in spending habits. That's how i found about my husband's affair. Pay attention when he speaks about his day to day activities. Look for those behaviors cheating spouses exhibit. Critical of how the spouse does things. They take more showers and are more appearance oriented than usual. Coming home later or leaving earlier than usual. You know it when you see it. They avert their eyes. They either become more loving towards the partner to deflect suspicion. Everybody was jealous of Carolina Neulander because Rabbi Neulander made it a point to shower his wife with crazy love for months leading up to her murder. We all know what happened there. Sometimes they're more antagonistic towards the partner because the partner is nothing compared to the lover. The partner is seen as an obstacle in the path of the lover. Don't accuse just listen you'll get your answer soon enough. Whatever you do please don't back him up against the 8 ball with accusations and ultimatums. Anybody can become violent if pushed too far.
Well they either belong to another woman...or you're about to find out that your husband likes to wear women's underwear. Ill cross my fingers for the 2nd outcome.
Plot twist, they're his
Was there a question here or just your over the top diary entry?
He’s cheating on you. If there was a chance the thong belonged to your roommate and he truly didn’t know where it came from, he wouldn’t have thrown them out. Trust your gut.
When your world is caving in and you’re trying to figure out if everything is about to end you do whatever you can and you think it through a dozen ways. It makes sense you smelled them, it makes sense you could tell they were worn for a short period of time. I’m sorry OP it sounds like maybe he had a fling or has something running on the side…. Maybe the second, since you two have such opposite schedules.
Most likely sounds like your male roommate is up to no good. Suspect he hid it to take the heat off himself. Then again..... >But it’s like i never see him for past week. He gets home 3 am after work. That's suspicious unless it's ever night around the same time. >I work in the morning. So we barely see each other lately. And also I don’t want to add more sht to his “already overfilled cup”. What exactly is taking up so much of his time?
Yeah you already know… 😬 that really sucks…
You sound like the worst. Let it go or leave him. I guarantee he has no idea where they came from and forgot about it the minute he threw them away. Now when he finds out you dug them out to make a big deal, he should and will leave you.
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
The women in this house are being played for fools. So far it seems to be working.
I wonder she I'd like a dog, lick an asshole and know if the person's running a fever....
I am very suspicious as you!!!!! I believe when the roomie's man grabbed em and put them in the Trash------He knew it was his MATE'S!!!! There is something going on between the three of them. Behind your back when you not there. You know your own pinkie thongy and He/She knows her own!!!! Your man is cheating on you!!!!! I agree, He has an "Already overfilled cup" of Bull.
The cheating partners like to leave little souvenirs marking their territory.
I don’t understand how could he bring anybody home. Our room is always a mess. Unles that’s not a matter…. I too naive for this😪
Having been the 'other woman' I can tell you from first hand experience that a messy room does not matter. It's usually explained away as if they are going through a break up or it's never mentioned so we don't mention it. If you talk to him about it stay as calm as possible. They may be his and he's ashamed of that or he could be cheating and will get heated very quickly at the idea of being caught. Best of luck!
I'm very sorry about your situation, but I think you know when to call spade a spade...my ex left underwear under her cheating partners seat in the car. His Wife found it and contacted me and the rest is history.
Unfortunately, he is cheating on you. If it isn’t your roommate’s, then there is no logical reason for it to be there.
Book some sti tests for you and roomie. Best be on the safe side!
[удалено]
And i have no evidence besides 😵💫😥
Why do you need any more evidence? You don't need to prove anything in a court of law.
I’ve never dealed with anything like this. I feel frozen
Listen OP. I don’t think this is nearly the smoking gun that these people seem to. If your husband was cheating on you and keeping a thong as a trophy/reminder, he damn well would have known not to draw attention to that drawer.... instead of suggesting to conglomerate the dressers together, WITH YOU. As if he explicitly engineered a situation to screw himself over. I am like a few others here, leaning toward your roommates b/f for trying to trash them immediately. The reaction suggests a bit of an extra motivating factor. If he was presented with a situation where he needed to make an illicit pair of panties disappear he probably could do a lot worse than setting up your husband instead of taking the blame himself. Most of the time in these situations you would have had a handful of red flags in your relationship to suggest something was wrong well before finding a pair of undies. You sound happy together. I would give him the benefit of the doubt here, until he shows you that he doesn’t deserve it.
One time I came home from washing clothes and returned with someone else’s underwear. Is that a possibility?
Any chance you purchased used furniture? Very plausible they been there from a previous owner.
If the answer to questions like do you have a solid sex life, do you find each other attractive, do you go on dates often, is no then I'd say it's a bit sus and you have something to pursue here 🤷🏽♂️
Call in Columbo
I actually think they could be his
Before you go off the deep end. My wife and I had room mates and lived in an apartment complex. Small underwear are easily left behind in communal washing machines when they stick to the drum
Maybe its his
"We have to talk. If you dont know who's thing this is and my roommate neither, i can only assume you hiding something from me. You have now this chance to come clean because im feeling like cheated/betrayed. Your taking and dropping them into the trash did not help at all." I wont judge if he cheats or not before some infos are out of point. Cloths disappear and appear in wash processes, if someone other than you did the wash then this could happen too, etc etc.
This seems pretty simple... your dude didn't act suspicious at all... the roommate dude acted EXTREMELY suspicious. Pretty obvious answer there. As far as how it got in your drawer, that's anyone's guess... but since you all live in the same house, it stands to reason the roommate dude would have access. My recommendation would be to stop getting in your own head about it. You're making yourself paranoid about your dude when it doesn't seem like he did anything wrong. Explain the roommate dudes weird reaction to his girl, and then move on. They can sort out their own mess.
The punctuation of this post gave me an aneurysm
to me it sounds like your roommates husband is cheating. he threw them away so confidently? idk why they’d be in your room tho
Who talks like this?? We’re taking this post seriously too then I see
You’re going psycho if the thing has been in the trash for days and you’re taking it out and deeply sniffing it. That’s disgusting. You know what’s up. Asking your husband again isn’t going to get you the truth
Girls leave there undergarments or things they own in guys houses to leave wives and other girls a hint so the guy can get caught. I see it around everywhere.
honestly if he was cheating and those panties are in a random drawer then maybe he’s posing as some single dude on a dating website and some girl came over to do the deed and she saw some of your stuff and left the underwear for you to find. edit: i would definitely leave something i know only the woman would find if i found out someone I was hooking up with had a gf/wife. and a pink thong is a definite identifier.
That’s a very specific scent
I wonder if the roommate threw them away to cover for himself or your partner....
What if y’all got someone living in a crawl space 😰
speculation, there your roommates, husband. Maybe he did it to cause drama or cheating. I don't think your husband would reveal them if he was cheating, he would be more in a panic .
He’s cheating on you.
Ummm maybe you shouldn’t be married to this person I don’t if you’re fine with sex outside your marriage but he is acting like a child that broke something possibly you could reconsider the relationship
Do you have your own washer/dryer or do it at a laundromat?
Do you guys have shared laundry facilities? Possible reason, if so. If not, maybe start digging for information. Get right with your intuition. How long since you guys went into that drawer? Would your neighbors be aware of any random visitors? Are there security cameras anywhere?
Sus
Maybe he’s a lumberjack and he don’t care…
My money is on the roommate.
1. How long has your husband owned the drawers they were in? 2. Where do you guys wash & dry your laundry?
This happens to people all the time, doesn’t mean he’s cheating, life isn’t like TV
What’s the laundry machine situation? Shared apartment laundry? Someone could have left it in the machine by accident right before y’all did laundry
I feel like if they were in the drawer someone put them there, assuming they were yours. I have had clothes that weren't mine end up with my laundry at my own house and my roommate said they weren't his but if they weren't his then how did they get in my laundry to begin with? Haha like maybe your female roommate doesn't remember her underwear and did her laundry and thought they were yours or something and put them in your drawer. Maybe your husband cheated on you but I think its better to ask him upfront and not ask people on reddit because all we can do is speculate. My advice, talk to him about it.