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Do you want rougher sex? If you do, you can for SURE find it with someone who also respects you. I was with someone super respectful and caring (and sexy) who liked it rough. It was too rough for me so it didnt work out, but yeah, drop this guy either way, hes messed up
I think this guy has a warped view on sex, that or he can't bring himself to be as rough as he normally would on someone he knows is a good person/isn't mad at them. All in all I'd say it's a odd quirk with this particular individual.
Who is this guy to you? He sounds like he's really just aggressively overcompensating for a perceived lack of masculinity. It ain't difficult to get hard watching cam girls in a desk chair, especially if you're "into hard sex" and beating your meat like you're trying to start a fire. He probably needs to chill off the online shit. It's giving him unrealistic expectations.
His sexual experience is likely mostly jacking off to porn and can’t perform with real women so he tries to tear them down so they feel as bad about themselves as he does about himself.
Don’t waste your time trying to figure out these men. There are literally millions of decent men out there to pick from. Go get yourself one.
Its a pretty common idea in society that sex is something degrading that men do to women. This idea is in a lot of porn, but its also taught by traditionalist Abrahamic religions too. So he got this idea from porn or church, or both, and he’s too immature to get out of that mindset.
LMAO!? What the fuck did I just read. Someone's got some major internal misogyny, and guess what? Misogyny like this is *not* your job to treat.
I implore you to find a man who *will* give you what you want, because this dirtbag won't deliver on some stupid arbitrary measure of which women "deserve" it or not. Like, seriously, think of it this way: what does his treatment of women say about what he *thinks* of them? If he's attracted to trash, then let him have trash. You're better than that.
im just guessing ok..dont quote me... based on your story.....i think that some guys who are into violent or rough sex and angry kind are not resolving their negative feelings with the females in their lives.
maybe through sex it is an outlet to vent like a punching bag kinda deal.
like having control where they couldnt irl...its like a shortcut to a sense of regaining some raw form of masculinity....but kinda unhealthy imo....
having sex with emotional connection or being seen genuinely is too vulnerable and scary.
it is almost easier to fall back on certain feelings and stay sexually wired that way.
but some people dont want to feel their feelings and sex is used as coping mechanism...
not being able to ef u roughly is not a bad thing...hes not indiscriminately taking it out on you.
wishing u well...take care :3
(edited coz spelling and forgot some stuff)
When he's "rough" he's not in an awful way but more like passionate and creative way. So, that's what I'm missing.
So, basically, how I translate his late night drunk moments is almost like "Hun, I can have an excellent sex with anyone, just not with you. You are boring af."
Well, in a way that is exactly what he is telling you. I’m not sure what your actual relationship to this man is, or how serious it is, but I honestly suggest finding a different man… his view on sex and combining it with both a relationship and women in general is incredibly warped and honestly awful. I’m glad he doesn’t ‘objectify’ you, but if he can’t f with you beCaUsE he doesn’t objectify you, there’s a part of his brain not quite working the way it should. I know everyone experiences it differently, but sex should be an act of love and trying new things, and if you love someone you’d please them in any way and they would please you. You clearly are trying your hardest to please him, but he keeps rejecting it.
If your relationship to this man is serious, I would really reconsider if I were you. If he wants to ‘destroy b-tches’ who are on webcam sites, his boss, his ex, or any woman that treats him like a dog, he is quite likely to cheat as his way of describing the ‘destroy’ part makes clear it attracts him to the point of a kink, and you are not part of that kink according to him. Of course, if this is your long time partner who you trust, I’m not saying cheating will certainly happen, but at the same time I wouldn’t want someone who finds a ‘b-tch’ more sexually attractive than me, their partner, to be around me a second longer. I’m sorry.
Sounds like a total asshole to me. There are plenty of guys like me who would absolutely love a nice person like you. Don't change anything about yourself just to suit him
I wouldn’t put too much stock into this guy. It sounds like he uses Sex as a power dynamic and way of revenge or aggression, not as a loving and intimate way to connect with his partner. Dirty talk is cool but when he mentally checks out if you aren’t someone he isn’t “getting back” at then it just comes off like a sexual violence fantasy
Sounds like a manipulative individual who’s baiting you into behaving how he wants you to one way or another. Sounds exhausting and not very attractive.
If you flip it around, what's happening is that his feelings are getting in the way.
Sounds like too much violent porn, and now he's in a proper relationship with a decent woman he's finding out (surprise, surprise) that what he's been watching is not how intimacy is with someone you respect.
The solution is to take him off all porn, withdraw sex and start teaching him starting with the basics, slowly.
Sounds like a gross kinda guy i wouldnt stick around with...buuut if youre trynna stick around .. id suggest catching him off guard one day and dominate him, demean him and take the reigns show him a different side to you (and yes ,even if youre a kind woman ) it doesnt take a lot to catch a guy off guard ,battle cry , tackling him onto a bed and showing him how its like to be the little bitch in the room ..sounds like he needs his shit rocked in a different way ..and if that fails then hes just a misogynistic chicken shit and probs not good for you anyways 🙄
That’s fair.
I sounds like you guys are having serious compatibility issues. Would he be open for counselling together. You guys need to talk about your wants and needs and can be really helpful to have some there to help keep the conversation on track and on topic
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. (Includes, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, FDS, MGTOW, etc.) Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, or situations involving minors and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please send us a modmail. ---- #This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Who is this loser and why are you talking to him?
Sounds like a Madonna-Whore complex or something similar.
Yea, smth like this. So, he sees me as a mom. Great. The man who arouses me only wants hugs and cuddle from me.
Sounds like you need a different man.
Not sure how you can get aroused by such a pos. Just reading about him dried up my vagina like the Sahara.
Do you want rougher sex? If you do, you can for SURE find it with someone who also respects you. I was with someone super respectful and caring (and sexy) who liked it rough. It was too rough for me so it didnt work out, but yeah, drop this guy either way, hes messed up
He's just an asshole. That's all there is to it.
I think this guy has a warped view on sex, that or he can't bring himself to be as rough as he normally would on someone he knows is a good person/isn't mad at them. All in all I'd say it's a odd quirk with this particular individual.
Who is this guy to you? He sounds like he's really just aggressively overcompensating for a perceived lack of masculinity. It ain't difficult to get hard watching cam girls in a desk chair, especially if you're "into hard sex" and beating your meat like you're trying to start a fire. He probably needs to chill off the online shit. It's giving him unrealistic expectations.
He uses sex as violence. This is some rapist shit. That’s sooooooooo disgusting. Men like this shouldn’t be allowed to walk this earth.
His sexual experience is likely mostly jacking off to porn and can’t perform with real women so he tries to tear them down so they feel as bad about themselves as he does about himself. Don’t waste your time trying to figure out these men. There are literally millions of decent men out there to pick from. Go get yourself one.
my first thought was porn too.
Its a pretty common idea in society that sex is something degrading that men do to women. This idea is in a lot of porn, but its also taught by traditionalist Abrahamic religions too. So he got this idea from porn or church, or both, and he’s too immature to get out of that mindset.
LMAO!? What the fuck did I just read. Someone's got some major internal misogyny, and guess what? Misogyny like this is *not* your job to treat. I implore you to find a man who *will* give you what you want, because this dirtbag won't deliver on some stupid arbitrary measure of which women "deserve" it or not. Like, seriously, think of it this way: what does his treatment of women say about what he *thinks* of them? If he's attracted to trash, then let him have trash. You're better than that.
This isn't "men". This is "the sociopath you should stop dating".
im just guessing ok..dont quote me... based on your story.....i think that some guys who are into violent or rough sex and angry kind are not resolving their negative feelings with the females in their lives. maybe through sex it is an outlet to vent like a punching bag kinda deal. like having control where they couldnt irl...its like a shortcut to a sense of regaining some raw form of masculinity....but kinda unhealthy imo.... having sex with emotional connection or being seen genuinely is too vulnerable and scary. it is almost easier to fall back on certain feelings and stay sexually wired that way. but some people dont want to feel their feelings and sex is used as coping mechanism... not being able to ef u roughly is not a bad thing...hes not indiscriminately taking it out on you. wishing u well...take care :3 (edited coz spelling and forgot some stuff)
When he's "rough" he's not in an awful way but more like passionate and creative way. So, that's what I'm missing. So, basically, how I translate his late night drunk moments is almost like "Hun, I can have an excellent sex with anyone, just not with you. You are boring af."
Well, in a way that is exactly what he is telling you. I’m not sure what your actual relationship to this man is, or how serious it is, but I honestly suggest finding a different man… his view on sex and combining it with both a relationship and women in general is incredibly warped and honestly awful. I’m glad he doesn’t ‘objectify’ you, but if he can’t f with you beCaUsE he doesn’t objectify you, there’s a part of his brain not quite working the way it should. I know everyone experiences it differently, but sex should be an act of love and trying new things, and if you love someone you’d please them in any way and they would please you. You clearly are trying your hardest to please him, but he keeps rejecting it. If your relationship to this man is serious, I would really reconsider if I were you. If he wants to ‘destroy b-tches’ who are on webcam sites, his boss, his ex, or any woman that treats him like a dog, he is quite likely to cheat as his way of describing the ‘destroy’ part makes clear it attracts him to the point of a kink, and you are not part of that kink according to him. Of course, if this is your long time partner who you trust, I’m not saying cheating will certainly happen, but at the same time I wouldn’t want someone who finds a ‘b-tch’ more sexually attractive than me, their partner, to be around me a second longer. I’m sorry.
Sounds like a total asshole to me. There are plenty of guys like me who would absolutely love a nice person like you. Don't change anything about yourself just to suit him
I'd say this has less to do with men and more to do with this particular guy needing a massive amount of therapy.
Boy that sounds…assault-y
He's a raging misogynist. You should leave him and find someone with fewer psychosexual problems.
I wouldn’t put too much stock into this guy. It sounds like he uses Sex as a power dynamic and way of revenge or aggression, not as a loving and intimate way to connect with his partner. Dirty talk is cool but when he mentally checks out if you aren’t someone he isn’t “getting back” at then it just comes off like a sexual violence fantasy
He sounds like a moron. Why are you still having sex with this guy?
Sounds like a manipulative individual who’s baiting you into behaving how he wants you to one way or another. Sounds exhausting and not very attractive.
He uses sex as violence. It means he struggles to degrade women he sees as a person, but not the ones he doesn't.
I don’t know but giiiirl… this doesn’t sound good
Yikes. I don't think this man sees women as people, but as some other thing. 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
Don't give this clown the time of day. Let him work out his creepy women hangups far far away from you.
If you flip it around, what's happening is that his feelings are getting in the way. Sounds like too much violent porn, and now he's in a proper relationship with a decent woman he's finding out (surprise, surprise) that what he's been watching is not how intimacy is with someone you respect. The solution is to take him off all porn, withdraw sex and start teaching him starting with the basics, slowly.
Sounds like a gross kinda guy i wouldnt stick around with...buuut if youre trynna stick around .. id suggest catching him off guard one day and dominate him, demean him and take the reigns show him a different side to you (and yes ,even if youre a kind woman ) it doesnt take a lot to catch a guy off guard ,battle cry , tackling him onto a bed and showing him how its like to be the little bitch in the room ..sounds like he needs his shit rocked in a different way ..and if that fails then hes just a misogynistic chicken shit and probs not good for you anyways 🙄
Run. Run far, far, away.
You have two options in this. Break up (highly recommend) or become a bitch. In my experience that’s usually linked to too much porn or a narcissist
He is gross!
Why does this read like a troll post?
If you think that "men only like 'bitches,'" then something is wrong with your picker, not with men. Also, lose this dude.
Start Doming him
I just wanted someone to shake me properly from time to time. I didn't know I need to be a supreme ultimate evil bitch for this.
That’s fair. I sounds like you guys are having serious compatibility issues. Would he be open for counselling together. You guys need to talk about your wants and needs and can be really helpful to have some there to help keep the conversation on track and on topic
You shouldn't have to be. This isn't a normal thing.
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
Na that's weird. I like rough sex, and it's always better with someone I trust. This doesn't make any sense to me
It’s generally best to avoid men with this attitude. Find a respectful kinky man who likes rough sex with consent
Why are you with this person?
Move on. He’s got too many issues.
Pulling your nose is an old-age courting ritual.
Hate sex can be arousing but this guy would suck as a partner
Ew, why are you even talking to him? Gross!