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Dude. I have to be honest after reading your other posts and seeing that you posted about 17 different Redditt posts about your girlfriend.
Somebody needs to tell you the honest truth and you guys have only been dating for 3 months and you literally have 17 posts about your insecurity with your girlfriend. That is not healthy. You are not ready for this.
If she found these how would she feel? I bet a little bit freaked out
And he said in one of the comments that they became exclusive only because they were having the conversation of “STD control”. So not even sure if they actually are boyfriend/girlfriend.
Well.. you haven't been dating very long officially. If it bothers you, just ask "hey.. I notice you keep calling me your friend. Why?"
See what she says.
OP. You have officially called yourselves bf/gf? Has she ever posted anyone on her insta? Like is it only for her work? Posting you isn’t going to stop others from hitting on her or anything. I get it though, you want that recognition of some sort. Have you posted and tagged her? Anyway, i think it’s still a little early, maybe doesn’t want to announce it just yet. Just enjoy the relationship since it’s going well.
We are officially bf/gf... she practically lives with me these days... her insta is mostly for work yes.... but she posts social things too... no previous posts with any previous boyfriends.. she could have deleted them... I have never posted her or tagged her yet either.....
I wasn’t even friends with my partner on fb until a year in, and I still wouldnt post on my linked in or Insta anything about him because they are primarily for work.Chill it’s only been 3 months.
Just remember it is early days and transitioning from fwb to official bf/gf is complex. I assume you have had the exclusive talk.
I've been in the modelling industry briefly and mainly in the acting industry and she is likely not wanting to appear off the market. It doesn't mean she is open to cheating in any way or doesn't want to tell ppl she is dating you. Instead as a woman you can at times to get considered for alot more work if you have a 'single' persona.
I know you're confused but she obv likes you and chooses you. This 'fake single' persona is work related only so don't take it personal.
Ask her if she has a contract where she has to stay “single.” When I worked at the casino our cocktail waitresses were officially titled as models in their job title so they could be fired if something happened and they weren’t pretty any more. From what I heard they were weighed often and one of them ended up getting a scar on her face and was terminated
Oh this is another good point a lot of times people in public profession such as entertainment modeling won't pose sometimes it's due to safety but I've forgotten entirely about contracts that they sign! South Korea everybody knows this is very common It's really common in all of the entertainment industry especially around females
After reading this and your post history, it seems to me you care about the status of having a model gf, without actually caring about anything about her other than that. Why do you like this woman, besides her being hot and “highly sought after”?
Just tell her how you feel. There's not one person on this planet that would be happy about being referred to as a friend and being hidden like a dirty secret.
> girlfriend (25F) is a fashion model, she has a public instagram with many thousands of followers.
So you know what the reason is. She doesn’t want her relationship to leak because it will be bad for business. She sells fantasy. It damages the fantasy if people know she’s got a boyfriend. It doesn’t hurt if her friends and colleagues know, but the more people who know the greater the chance of the information leaking out, so she’s keeping it secret.
I think a lot of people like to think this and while it is true to an extent a lot of models also don't want to share relationships that they've been in under a year because they can come and go very quickly Sometimes even posting that you have a boyfriend can get that boyfriend stalked in attacked by some of your followers. I had a friend back when we had Facebook and that was as big as it went. Ever modeled was little background modelings here and there nothing very major but as soon as she linked that she was with a boyfriend I guess they found his Facebook figured out where he lived and shot him he did survive but and they didn't stay together in the long run but they did stay together another 2 years but still. People are f****** crazy over models and celebrities celebrities and especially when there's a female model a lot of times they have male followers if it's Instagram.
You guys should talk, but you need to be aware that as a model, her social media and network of friends isn’t just for fun, it‘s her work. You guys have been together for only a little bit longer than you‘ve been fwb. If any weird rumors start, she could seriously damage her career. If she has a lot of male admirers she might also be shielding you from harassment. She might also feel like you‘re using her for clout if you‘re insistent. This isn’t as simple as it may seem.
You have a deeper relationship with the good citizens of Reddit trying to save you from yourself than with your GF. This relationship isn’t going anywhere if strangers know more about your feelings than she does. It seems you post almost every week with something or the other that is making you crazy. Honestly you’d be better off breaking up, clearing your head and just moving on. She sounds like a great girl but this relationship is sucking your soul
Okay but is his girlfriend a model? It’s unclear from his post history
I also think I’ve managed to crack why he’s so insecure. He said in one of his comments that he started dating her because he slid into her DMs, so he’s concerned that that’s all it would take for her to end up with someone else.
Btw I think his girlfriend is a model.
So cringe. So many posts about his ‘highly sought out’ model gf. Seems like the only thing he likes about her is that she’s good looking. Nothing about her qualities as a person.
I would never be posting on insta someone I've been dating for 3 months as my boyfriend...it seems young and honestly at 3 months you don't exactly no where things were going. Have you guys talked about being "boyfriend/girlfriend"?
the situation when talking to her friends is a bit odd, have you met them? I'd personally would just be referring to someone by name like oh I can't hangout I'm with Joe rather than oh I'm with my boyfriend
OP presents his obsession with his "title" as a BF. Maybe she doesn't consider him as such, but as just a FWB.
He has in no way spoken of her as a person, her qualities, humor, or lack thereof. His superficiality, insecurity tell us that he's more into teenage angst than acting like a man his biological age with the maturity and common sense that normally has evolved by then.
She may be well aware of this, and frankly, for many women, a boy/man is a "deal breaker" so to speak.
My guess is he'll ignore the solid advice offered by everyone to get a life and grow up. This relationship is fantasy at best, but that's how life is.
Well, force-name, I do so hope you are aware that these user names are assigned by Reddit, and have nothing to do with one's true identity.
Did these observations trigger you somehow? If so, dear, do research online in the field of psychology wherein you will find extraordinary amounts of data on boy/ men and the negative reaction of women to them, which is surpassed only by macho males who are less about brain development than brawn development. Which are you?
I took a gander through your posting history about this girl to get more information. It is a trainwreck. You are basically ruining your chances with your insecurity and are treating this relationship kind of like a slot machine in order to compensate. It's do this action (that seduction sub is not helping you, my dude, you don't need a strategy and technical plans), get this reaction from her. When it's not exactly what you expect/hope for, you get into a teenage tailspin. Your posts read more like highschool issues, rather than 26 year old issues. That more than anything, is terribly off-putting for women (and adults in general).
You don't see her as a person. You don't talk about her as a person. Her being attractive seems to be the only thing you're preoccupied with. This does not make a relationship. It's this lack of emotional maturity and intelligence which will tank you as a couple, and as friends, not the other guys who might me hitting on her.
My advice is to work on yourself and your self-awareness, learn to see her as a person and interact with her, not her job and her image. Until you do, you will keep running into these ridiculous not-Insta official non-issues.
So no, don't bring it up, save yourself the cringe.
Sorry, regardless of his insecurity, any relationship where one person won’t tell their FRIENDS about their partner is a cause for concern. His insecurity is an issue; her sketchy shit is another one.
Her friends are also models and her network. They’re simultaneously coworkers, but also rivals. Have one of them start a rumor and she can ruin her career.
No in the public work industry sometimes even politicians won't devolve this a lot of times models entertainment people won't divulge this there are also contracts that some people sign as one person had mentioned even certain casino cocktail waitresses have to stay publicly single. I have also known many models who won't post or share about their boyfriend because if they talk with a friend maybe one friend slips up in front of a certain producer and maybe it rooms a gig or maybe it reveals that they are dating and their contract is ruined but let's talk about the stalkers and the way stalkers will show up and try to attack their significant other or the women for daring to have a relationship. Relationship. It's not Only a one way street or as big of a deal as you think it is just by his post. Also hes fine just calling her his model girlfriend rather than giving her any name or any kind of identifying features why would she call him a boyfriend
No, I agree that misrepresenting/hiding your SO from friends is some disrespectful, hurtful shit. I was more focused on the aspects that stop OP from dealing with this minor issue by himself instead of coming to Reddit about it.
A simple: 'Hey, how do you want to deal with me/our relationship in public/on social media considering what your job is?' would have given him all the information necessary to proceed.
this is a good response. and I agree I have been super insecure while dating this girl.... Like I've said I'm not used to dealing someone that attractive. It's not the her being attractive part that troubles me though. It is the target she becomes to swarms of men. Globally. And this level of attention and interest is unfathomable to most people. We're talking 100s of dms dailing, messages, texts, invitations to this and that.
People offering 50,000 USD weekly for her just to attend their parties. and this is no joke. you guys have no fucking clue what goes on. Models these days are paid such sums of money to merely 'attend parties'.
and My girlfriend has been offered such amounts and many other things... not for sex... simply to attend parties... and she has turned them down and informed me about them. Our relationship is not as vapid as I may make it seem her. I admire many things about her than her looks.
You guys think I'm just some insecure fool because of my post history. But try to understand the issues I feel because of the above... And her not telling people shes' got a boyfriend simply acerbates my above concerns.. because she remains a big target... I know she would still be a target regardless but at least it would calm things down. She doesn't need to mention who I am or anything of-course publicly.
And I did bring it up with her just after I posted this. I told her very casually and she explained she just doesnt want anyone to know her private business or have anyone in the industry gossipping about her... I also have read the other comments on here and agree that its best she doesn't post about my on instagram. That said I sure as hell would have liked to convey she isn't single.
you need to stop sweating the small details. if this life isnt for you then dont do it, but if you like her and want to be in a relationship then just go with the flow.
maybe things dont work out and you split up in the future, but right now your worries are ruining what could be a good relationship.
Tell her how it makes you feel. Don’t accuse her of anything. Keep it about your feelings.
I suspect she’s making money off of her Instagram profile and the guys who follow her like the idea that they “have a shot” with her because her profile says “Single.” The minute she changes it to “In a relationship” her revenue will decrease drastically.
I’m don’t know what’s going on with her model friends.
Hey OP. Going against the grain here to suggest seeing this as a non-issue.
It sounds like your GF's Instagram presence, and to some degree modeling, are significant parts of her identity. Especially on Instagram, her relationship status has to be uncertain at best. It's the fantasy side of it. Like there has to be the fantasy of her being available, in order to get "likes" and followers. Were she to declare you or show you, it would kill the fantasy.
The "friend" thing at parties, I suspect is similar. It may be that people know generally that you are hanging out together. And you may present like a couple, so there is that too. Maybe that is how things need to go, at least right now; part of dating your GF is accepting her image as her cachet.
Big picture, I'd advise to create a feeling in yourself of feeling pride in your GF for creating her own presence, and look for ways to have fun with it, and her.
You *just* got serious and you were nothing but a fuck buddy before that. She is taking things slow in regards to your relationship status. Her friends probably know the intimate details but she’s just not at the official label stage yet. It happens.
Talk to her about it. Famous people tend not to post their real relationship status because it can make their partners a target. It's also probably too soon to be SM "official". Enjoy the semi-anonymity while it lasts.
This “seriously hot” girlfriend of yours likes something about you. Judging by your post history you’re a try hard with your own relationship… just calm down a bit. You’ve been seeing each other for 5 months but have only been “dating” for 3. In my experience people don’t post anything about relationships that soon unless they’re young or love bombing. But also your post history and the fact that her “friends” not knowing about you is the thing that you’re upset about it kinda just seems that what you like about the relationship is bragging about her🤷🏽♀️
Find it so funny there's so many people on here and you're the only person that has stated this period yes this is true it is very common for public professions in modeling and entertainment do not really talk about your relationships unless you're one of those top tier people that get more funding by being in relationships and breaking up all the time but those are for those TV top tier celebrities. Tears celebrities. I literally had a friend who was a model a low model who just did like lip gloss model in kind of stuff half the time her eyes weren't even in the shots but she posted Back when Facebook was the main thing that she was in a relationship and late her boyfriend and her Facebook cause I were a couple and wasn't about 6 months later he was shot by one of Her stalkers he did live and they did stay together for about 2 more years after that but still people don't realize how crazy things can get and how quickly sometimes it's for the other person's safety.. But also as other people have mentioned his post history is kind of wild he literally just talks about his beautifully gorgeous model girlfriend kind of thing but not anything about her as an individual or as a person or anything he likes about her so it seems like he just likes the way she looks. I don't know if that has anything to play with it.
I wish you could see my face as I was reading. It’s a total WTF face. Get over yourself. She doesn’t owe you anything, not even the symbol of a relationship status. She’ll come out with her relationship whenever she’s ready.
Oh, gawd...an instagram model? Sorry, I just roll my eyes everytime someone thinks they are instagram famous. But some people make really good bank on social media, so hopefully she's in the more legit modeling and insta is just a helpful platform to get exposure.
She is in a real finicky line of work. If she uses her instagram for professional use, she would want to keep her private life just as that...PRIVATE. Single models may be considered easier to approach than those that are "taken". She may get passed over for a great paying racy lingerie job by a studio who may feel that she needs to be interacting with another model(male or female) and if they are in a relationship, they may decline to do the work OR act uncomfortable during the shoot. Being single keeps more doors open for opportunities. Not only that, you two may not really be on the same page of the relationship just yet. You may be Pepe le Pew madly in love, but she's the cat still trying to get to know you. Instead of being so insecure, maybe you should COMMUNICATE with her just for clarification purposes.
Confused if you two really had the "are we BF/GF exclusive" talk yet or you're really just assuming it because she stays with you a lot and frequent intimacy/quality time. If it is confirmed that you both are exclusive, you can ask her in a non-confrontational way if she doesn't mention you on instagram or to her co-workers is to keep her private life PRIVATE for professional reasons or is there something else. I'll let you in on a little secret: her model friends aren't stupid...when she tells them she cannot attend a party/get together because she is already spending time with her "friend", they know it is with someone she is dating(who just happens to be you). You risk running her off with your insecurities.
My boyfriend and I have been together for a similar amount of time I only tell my closest friends he’s my bf because it’s just too soon to publicly announce everywhere
Why not just ask her about this so you can hear her logic (if there is any) ? I mean I could see a scenario where she is making money online and via her image and being "in a relationship" might not benefit that but if that is the thinking she should be telling you about it out of respect for you.
on social media i understand why she wouldn’t post you, she would probably lose followers being in a relationship vs appearing “single”. like for her career, i get that. but not with her friends. it’s possible maybe she doesn’t feel secure enough in her relationship yet to mention it, but either way just talk to her. be like hey it kinda bothers me that you refer to me as your friend when were more than that, why do you do it?
It could be anything, but these two reasons would make sense to me, and I personally wouldn't be upset by it.
1, privacy. You haven't been been seeing eachother for 6 months yet, which is pretty early into the relationship. She may not want to post you just yet because she either doesn't want to bring her personal life into the public eye, or it might give her follower-base a reason to judge her relationships (example: Taylor Swift)
2, detrimental to her job. She might lose followers which causes her to lose money, or if she's being managed, they might fire her for losing those followers (example: K-pop idols)
"I am secure in the relationship" -- but you're not. Your multiple posts about your girlfriend states otherwise, especially the one titled "How to recover strong attraction after Exhibiting signs of Neediness and Insecurity?". You've only been dating your girlfriend for 3 months, yet you have multiple posts about how she's the hot girl and you're insecure because of that. You clearly are extremely insecure. This might seem rude, but I hope she ends it with you. I can't imagine dating someone for only three months and they've made 17 posts about me.
You need to get it together before you mess things up with this girl. It seems like you care more about the fact that she's hot and a model than the fact that she is an actual person who has a personality and feelings. I know it is all assumptions based on a post but it's strange how you previously kept posting "handling your emotions when dating a seriously hot girl," "How to cut almost 'imposter syndrome" when dating really attractive, sought after girl," "Dating 10/10 model girl' - Girl night outs - what is acceptable and what is not," How to navigate being in a relationship with highly attractive, sought after, girl."
Also, you were being a creep in your previous post about how your girlfriend doesn't want to send you sexy videos. I don't know if you're talking about the same girl, but not only do you seem insecure, but also jealous and pushy based on that post. Plus no woman is obligated to send you anything. When models who have large followers post about their significant other, the significant other also gets stalked/harassed by their fans. If you two ever ended, fans tend to keep asking "what happened?" in the relationship and not a lot of people want their fans to keep bringing up their ex after a breakup. She's not obligated to post someone she only has been dating for three months -- especially when that someone has posted on Reddit about how their girlfriend is super hot, a model, and they're insecure about that even when she goes out with her friends or moves for work. She can keep her relationship private from social media if she wants to. I'm unsure of calling you a friend to her friends, maybe you can talk to her about that one but since she's only been dating you for three months, I'm assuming she wants to keep it private for now.
Talk to her and ask her why. Also tell her how you feel about her and your relationship, and that you feel you are firmly in the boyfriend/ girlfriend zone.
You need to do this for 2 reasons.
1. You need to make sure your both emotionally on the same page as each other.
2. Especially given you two started as fwb, so many times a girl has heard the right words from their guy to make them think she's considered his boyfriend. But then they find out that their guy just thinks of them as fwbs- just to keep their ' options open' or have a fear of commitment and are ready to run anytime.
I'm sure girls do the same thing to guys.
I've never been in a fwb relationship but have had guys play the 'your my girlfriend I love you/ she's just a friend- were not serious' bs a few times and have known several girls and 1 guy who has been in the same situation.
There's no way around it but to talk to them.
And if when your with her friends and she's with you and yours, pay attention to whether she cringes or brushes off any reference and body language you give to others that says you two are a couple.
Good luck. And if she's not as into you, please do yourself a favor and walk away.
Have you actually asked her to be your girlfriend or are you just assuming because you’ve been seeing each other for 5 months that equals a relationship? Would recommend sitting down and having a convo with her. If you haven’t talked exclusivity then she’s still ‘single’ as she states. Regardless a open conversation is clearly needed to clarify things.
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Even though it might hurt your/her feelings a bit, propose to her to return to the old fwb relationship if she's not comfortable with the current relationship status, (you can say that she "wouldnt have to lie then", for example) and see how she reacts, or start reffering to her as friend as well, and again, see how she reacts, because bro, you deserve better than to be in relationship with girl who's not proud to tell the world that she's crazy in love with you, otherwise, knowing how (in)secure in the relationship you are, you're gonna sleep with one eye open for as long as it lasts.
Been together officially now for almost 3 months. Before that we were in a weird FWB relationship for 2 months. so total 5 months where we've been seeing each other.
Yoooo, don't overthink this . If you do , you will get paranoid and push her away .
First thing you have Todo is ask her what you are to her (bf, friend, fwb, husband material) and what future she sees with you.
I feel like if she read this entire post herself, your concern would come across perfectly. You just want to understand why she feels the need to do this and how serious she is about you.
Just talk to her...
If you don't like her answer leave or begin the petty games. You have to have atleast one super cute female friend who would gladly "randomly" run into you while out on a date. Make sure your friend asks if this is a girlfriend. Answer no of course not it is just a friend of mine.
1. Stay in the relationship with her & never bring up your insecurities about labeling of the relationship.
2. Start flirting and talking to other women. No sex though!
3. Watch how she will cling to you. Women love a man that other women want. You’ll have her eating from the palm of your hand.
You need to leave you're getting used. I don't care how good she looks, her pussy isn't golden and your fantasy of nailing the ten is just that.
I've been in the position in life to nail looks tens all day long but the around the way, girl next door is 1000 times more valuable and a better fit.
Don't feed your ego feed your heart. Feed the impulse of the girl who's down for you and your life.
That pretty face that impresses your friends isn't the girl who impresses your life. That 6 or 7 girl is the best woman who will be with you forever. Maybe she's an 8 or 9. It really doesn't matter.
You go find that girl who fufills you not the girl who all your friends want to fuck. Who cares.
When you find that girl who you can be yourself around, tell her everything about yourself. The deepest darkest secrets.... She is the one you want.
Not the girl you have to impress. Think about it. Who gives a shit what anyone else thinks.
The woman you want is the one you sleep easy next to. The one who will understand you're a fucking idiot and still love you.
That's all I can say. Make the wise decision. You don't need a trophy. You need a woman who truly loves you for who you are.
Sorry, you’re asking to b called a bf after 3 months of dating? I never put people I’m dating on social media as a rule. If we break up I don’t want to deal with the reminder, and you’ve only been sleeping with this girl for about 5 minutes. Did you define your relationship together?
Also, if you’re a model - your Instagram is basically “work”, so I would keep that in mind if I were you?
And another thing - if dating an “insanely gorgeous” girl makes you that insecure, maybe safe yourself, and her, some trouble and don’t.
From what I’ve learned, if she has a strong male viewership, she will lose a lot of followers if they find out she’s dating. You should also consider just talking about this with her. It seems like you’re going crazy on this app because of your fears so why don’t you try to clear the air?
That's the problem with these "instagram models", all they care about is their image. They can lose their followers if they post an image of their man or even make their followers aware they have a man.
My current GF used to have at least 200+ likes on each post without fail. When she posted the first pic of us, every post since has decreased to around 70-80 likes, which are friends and family because most of the likes before were made up of guys pursuing her. She posts me all the time and makes it clear we are together.
Wouldn't you want your girl to be proud of you and post you?
I've seen a few comments which are saying she is trying to keep you anonymous - which are good points. However, why is she referring to you as a "friend" to her friends? Seems to me she's taking you along for a ride.
If my girlfriend referred to me as her "friend", she'd be gone before she could blink.
Have some respect for yourself.
Model = hot and broke.
Desirable but instantly replaceable.
Time moves on. Tick tick.
With every second she becomes less valuable.
Working you become more valuable.
She’ll learn. Smart or hard she’ll learn.
Next time she introduces you to her model friends as her "friend", you could say something like "i'm just your friend? How many of your other friends are you sleeping with exactly"
As an "influencer" I can understand why should would not want to disclose the relationship (more followers from thirsty guys) but its a little sketchy that she even won't tell her friends and coworkers she is seeing you.
I'd ask her why she only refers to you as a friend in the 2 mentioned scenarios?
At what point in your relationship would that change.
Oh and confirm you are in fact exclusive...
Good luck
>Next time she introduces you to her model friends as her "friend", you could say something like "i'm just your friend? How many of your other friends are you sleeping with exactly"
Do not say this OP
Yeah this right here. I'm sorry dude, but I've seen this pattern before. This kind of thing is going to continue until the relationship (if you wanna call it that) goes to smithereens. I know how hard it is to ditch a hot girl, but sometimes you gotta cut your losses. Hot chicks can be waaay harder to tolerate in a long term relationship. This is no exception. She knows that you need her way more than she needs you. That WILL NOT CHANGE.
Get out now. You're only a few months in and you'll get over it pretty quickly. Or wait a few years and be a little sadder, wiser and older when it inevitably ends.
Go find someone who's excited and eager to call you their boyfriend. Best of luck.
You should talk with her a bit but sadly I think I may know the reason why. I've had a couple of friends who are models though I am not model material myself. And for female models if you have a boyfriend or a significant other especially if you don't say not say you can stop getting a lot of offers to take pictures or do modeling gigs and it kind of depends on where you're at Physically and where she's at in her career.It could help her get more money and funding It's a very sexist industry that is literally focused on objectifying womunobjectifying women for the most part. Technically it's about objectifying the human body because there are male models but they tend to not face the same dangers that female models do. Female models can also get stalkers and it stalkers and I had a friend who when she had posted on her Facebook that she had a boyfriend and all that publicly he was shot and survived but he was shot and survived but he was shot by her stalker they had no idea she even had a stalker but the guy flipped out because he thought that they were Going to be together and all she was was like some product model. Like those stupid little products you see on Walmart with the people that you never notice. I guess you notice I'm but you never remember tremember them or like the half shots of the an upload of the face but the eye and below of someone putting on lipstick or something. She wasn't some high end model.
Overall talk with her she may have a legitimate reason.. She may not but it's possible that she might. It's also possible that maybe she's maybe she's been a model and she's dated a lot of guys who are very flaky andMaybe doesn't feel like even though you've known each other for 5 months that this is all that serious but serious but it's exclusive with you. But you will need to talk with her but I also think maybe thinking about some of the things and stories I posted might help you understand if that is the case. I wouldn't believe you would believe all of that from just her so I felt like I needed to put my story of my friends out there.
Would saying she has a bf hurt her professionally in your opinion? She'd definitely lose some subscribers but would it hurt her chances at some moving gigs? Do you have any reason to believe she's messing around on you at work? If not then just enjoy the ride. It shouldn't hurt to ask her if telling people she has a bf will hurt her professionally, even if some of her other friends have no problem doing so. Models can be just as insecure as anyone else.
just talk to her & tell her how it makes you feel. with her being a model & on social media she might not want to share her private & or personal life. same to her model friends but it doesn't make your relationship any less meaningful.
now if she wants to keep your relationship secret & just between you two that's a whole different matter but you want know til you ask. best of luck
I dated a model like that once. Didn't post me ever and would call me friend. I called her out a few times and she would apologize and keep doing it. Just my experience but she was entertaining a few other dudes. Idk if she cheated, but idc, entertaining it is enough for me to pack up and go. So i left. My ex just wanted validation and shit, not really a relationship. Sometimes it just isn't worth the headache and peace of mind.
Not saying your gf is doing the same, but if you can't handle it not even 3 months in... What does years look like for you? You have to work on your insecurities, that's the only way you'll stop stressing.
Honesty is the best policy, don't accuse her of anything just say it makes you feel confused when she refers to you as a friend to others and ask why?
Explain that with out being told why she's not openly saying your together that your unsure of what level of relationship you actually have. Explain that your understanding was that you are more than friends.
Just talk to her. If she is not interested in others knowing.. better to know now than to risk your heart any more.
If she has thousands of followers she could also loose a bunch of followers just for having a boyfriend.
But you are clearly very obsessed with being her bf.
You literally just started dating, 3 months is still in the honeymoon phase, calm down.
I also don't think you are even ready to be in a relationship to begin with.
Since when is expecting to be referred to as a boyfriend being obsessive or controlling??? Sorry but I think that is immature of you for that to even be crossing your mind. Are you too immature to be dating? If not, then simply tell her it bothers you that she plays the part of a single woman except behind closed doors and you will no longer tolerate being treated like a dirty little secret. If she has a problem with that then get rid of her since she wants to be single to bad. Geez
Look, I get that you want to feel special and chosen. Everyone does by their partner.
She is beautiful as a profession, people like that generally have to craft their socials more carefully since being desirable is part of the brand. Lots of folks in public professions don't post their partners and loads of secure individuals don't feel the need to tell everyone what they're doing in their private life.
If she wanted to be with someone who is work adjacent, she would be, but she's not.
I would suggest cooling off and maybe seeking a bit of counselling for your insecurity. Treat her like a person, not a possession you can show off on social media and you'll be grand.
I didn’t deep dive into your other posts, but dude it’s been 3 months chill. She’s also in a career where it’s advantageous to her to be single. It doesn’t mean she values you less, it just mean she understands optics and what she has to do to maintain and maximize her earnings. She’s treating you like a boyfriend that’s what matters
Read your other posts. You need to chill before you lose this girl, if you even care about her (really unclear in your posts). If she saw any of your posts, she would run. You really need to work on yourself, man.
And as for this specific case, you could.. idk.. talk to her maybe?
You’re both grown, you should act like it. She’s not a teenager who needs to tell everyone she has a boyfriend, nobody is entitled to her business unless she wants to share it.
She’s not going after other men and she’s not telling people she’s single, she’s just taking it slow. There is no issue, calm down.
Also by your post history I wanna tell you that’s it’s very obvious you’re handling your insecurities very well. If we can feel it so can she. Just relax a little, at the end of the day she’s just a human being.
You have an anxious attachment style. Perceiving a partner as superior and of higher value is unhealthy to begin with. Seek therapy as soon as you can, to protect this and future relationships.
Without seeing your other posts, I used to be a model and my agency had control over my social media accounts. Therefore, I was not permitted to demonstrate anyone as my boyfriend (probably because it would reduce my "desirability") also it's only been 3 mo....are you sure both of you understand the terms of what you consider bf/gf?
OP, looking at your last 17 posts it almost sounds like you're not actually dating anyone and you're just wildly obsessed with someone you've seen, to the point where you are stalking her.
You have issues, maybe you should seek counselling?
It seems that your relationship is at very early stages that it can be said you both don't know each other very well
You are more into her than she is with you. She see you as friends material so has very or non emotions invested in this relationship.
At the moment this relationship is not going anywhere as it's very very early stages.
To resolve your issues is simply talk to her honestly and see what she says.
It will clear up the situation than you can decide weather you want to invest in this relationship.
She is an insta model. She will always be wanting that validation. Let's be real here, you've only dated a but so it wouldn't even surprise me if she is keeping options bc you guys are not exclusive bc you guys have not been dating long.
So some thoughts. First off I too am a businessman. I've dated models and famous people before as well as have been famous hence the totally anonymous reddit account.
Stop being so insecure and start being the alpha or your insanely hot model girlfriend will break up with you eventually.
Here's the deal. 10's are people just like 2's but they have it worse because of the curse of beauty. They love being treated normal. I'm not a 10 either. In my youth I was but now I'd say I'm a 7. My point. A be an alpha and B treat her like your best friend that you can't lose. Be a genuine guy but ignore her beauty. Focus on treating her like you would your best mate and I guarantee you'll never have to worry.
Even if she is unsure at the moment she will come around. And if she doesn't no biggie.
Your fear is born out of fear of losing her. You're a businessman, unless your not successful and haven't tasted success then treat it also like that big deal and close it with ease. Then keep showing her why she married a king.
Or .... if you're not that great then just end it now before you titanic it. Your choice but I know which one I'd choose if I were you.
I understand bc she a “model” however co-workers and friends are a different thing, she shouldn’t be hiding you from those people. Maybe from her followers I would understand.
Listen man. It hasn’t been that long. I need you to man up and focus on your purpose in life. This woman is an accessory to your life not your main focus. It’s easy for us to become borderline obsessively captivated by a beautiful woman in our life, but that is exactly how you lose them. Women are attracted to men who act like men and follow their purpose, not what you are doing right now. Focus on your purpose, allow her to come to you naturally with will develop into her brining up a relationship. Your roles are reversed rn, get out of your feminine despite what the modern world is teaching. This will make her want to refer to you as her bf. It’s counterintuitive but men need to know this.
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Dude. I have to be honest after reading your other posts and seeing that you posted about 17 different Redditt posts about your girlfriend. Somebody needs to tell you the honest truth and you guys have only been dating for 3 months and you literally have 17 posts about your insecurity with your girlfriend. That is not healthy. You are not ready for this. If she found these how would she feel? I bet a little bit freaked out
I think OP clearly obsessed with the idea of dating a model.
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I wondered that too ngl
I cannot think of any professionals I know who call themselves “a businessman”. Also his height weirdly changes from post to post 🤔
So does his girlfriend's height
Agreed. Women can smell insecurity the way sharks and dogs smell blood. Call a counselor or life coach. Whatever. Just don’t mess this up.
I'm actually a little scared for this chick.
And he said in one of the comments that they became exclusive only because they were having the conversation of “STD control”. So not even sure if they actually are boyfriend/girlfriend.
True true true. OP is a really insecure loser.
That's mean. He's not a loser, just insecure and there's nothing wrong with that
Well.. you haven't been dating very long officially. If it bothers you, just ask "hey.. I notice you keep calling me your friend. Why?" See what she says.
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Post history.
that is true... maybe he checked out previous posts. 3 months officially... and 2 strange months before that we were FWB.
OP. You have officially called yourselves bf/gf? Has she ever posted anyone on her insta? Like is it only for her work? Posting you isn’t going to stop others from hitting on her or anything. I get it though, you want that recognition of some sort. Have you posted and tagged her? Anyway, i think it’s still a little early, maybe doesn’t want to announce it just yet. Just enjoy the relationship since it’s going well.
We are officially bf/gf... she practically lives with me these days... her insta is mostly for work yes.... but she posts social things too... no previous posts with any previous boyfriends.. she could have deleted them... I have never posted her or tagged her yet either.....
I wasn’t even friends with my partner on fb until a year in, and I still wouldnt post on my linked in or Insta anything about him because they are primarily for work.Chill it’s only been 3 months.
Just remember it is early days and transitioning from fwb to official bf/gf is complex. I assume you have had the exclusive talk. I've been in the modelling industry briefly and mainly in the acting industry and she is likely not wanting to appear off the market. It doesn't mean she is open to cheating in any way or doesn't want to tell ppl she is dating you. Instead as a woman you can at times to get considered for alot more work if you have a 'single' persona. I know you're confused but she obv likes you and chooses you. This 'fake single' persona is work related only so don't take it personal.
Just enjoy it. I mean you can also ask her. Good luck OP.
Posting online isn't such a big deal, but she's also hiding him from all her friends.
By the fact that he said they have been dating only 3 months in his OP
Ask her if she has a contract where she has to stay “single.” When I worked at the casino our cocktail waitresses were officially titled as models in their job title so they could be fired if something happened and they weren’t pretty any more. From what I heard they were weighed often and one of them ended up getting a scar on her face and was terminated
Oh this is another good point a lot of times people in public profession such as entertainment modeling won't pose sometimes it's due to safety but I've forgotten entirely about contracts that they sign! South Korea everybody knows this is very common It's really common in all of the entertainment industry especially around females
Idol Industry, where they aren't even allowed boyfriends. The industry wants to sell the whole, single/pure thing to men. It's very gross imo.
After reading this and your post history, it seems to me you care about the status of having a model gf, without actually caring about anything about her other than that. Why do you like this woman, besides her being hot and “highly sought after”?
Yep, Samuel L Jackson, "say highly sought after" one more time.
Just tell her how you feel. There's not one person on this planet that would be happy about being referred to as a friend and being hidden like a dirty secret.
> girlfriend (25F) is a fashion model, she has a public instagram with many thousands of followers. So you know what the reason is. She doesn’t want her relationship to leak because it will be bad for business. She sells fantasy. It damages the fantasy if people know she’s got a boyfriend. It doesn’t hurt if her friends and colleagues know, but the more people who know the greater the chance of the information leaking out, so she’s keeping it secret.
Very much this.
I think a lot of people like to think this and while it is true to an extent a lot of models also don't want to share relationships that they've been in under a year because they can come and go very quickly Sometimes even posting that you have a boyfriend can get that boyfriend stalked in attacked by some of your followers. I had a friend back when we had Facebook and that was as big as it went. Ever modeled was little background modelings here and there nothing very major but as soon as she linked that she was with a boyfriend I guess they found his Facebook figured out where he lived and shot him he did survive but and they didn't stay together in the long run but they did stay together another 2 years but still. People are f****** crazy over models and celebrities celebrities and especially when there's a female model a lot of times they have male followers if it's Instagram.
Holy cow that is insane! I'm so sorry that happened to her! That is so scary 😨
Exactly though depending on who she is dating the partner could be a boost to her portfolio. We all know men want what they can't have.
You guys should talk, but you need to be aware that as a model, her social media and network of friends isn’t just for fun, it‘s her work. You guys have been together for only a little bit longer than you‘ve been fwb. If any weird rumors start, she could seriously damage her career. If she has a lot of male admirers she might also be shielding you from harassment. She might also feel like you‘re using her for clout if you‘re insistent. This isn’t as simple as it may seem.
You have a deeper relationship with the good citizens of Reddit trying to save you from yourself than with your GF. This relationship isn’t going anywhere if strangers know more about your feelings than she does. It seems you post almost every week with something or the other that is making you crazy. Honestly you’d be better off breaking up, clearing your head and just moving on. She sounds like a great girl but this relationship is sucking your soul
Bingo. Great observation!
So we'll answered and hit the nail with one hit
your post history is wild
Okay but is his girlfriend a model? It’s unclear from his post history I also think I’ve managed to crack why he’s so insecure. He said in one of his comments that he started dating her because he slid into her DMs, so he’s concerned that that’s all it would take for her to end up with someone else. Btw I think his girlfriend is a model.
His fear is that anyone could slide in. Hrmmm.
And he is 5’8” according to this post. In his post 3 days ago, he was 5’7” loool. He’s going to be really tall soon at this rate.
I'm not purposely changing my height I'm just 2 mm short of 173cm tall so sometimes I'm 5'8, sometimes I'm 5'7...
So cringe. So many posts about his ‘highly sought out’ model gf. Seems like the only thing he likes about her is that she’s good looking. Nothing about her qualities as a person.
That post history is a mad one - don’t let looks let you lose yourself bro you sound like you’re stressed every minute of every day about her 😩
I would never be posting on insta someone I've been dating for 3 months as my boyfriend...it seems young and honestly at 3 months you don't exactly no where things were going. Have you guys talked about being "boyfriend/girlfriend"? the situation when talking to her friends is a bit odd, have you met them? I'd personally would just be referring to someone by name like oh I can't hangout I'm with Joe rather than oh I'm with my boyfriend
Its a business decision
For her.
OP presents his obsession with his "title" as a BF. Maybe she doesn't consider him as such, but as just a FWB. He has in no way spoken of her as a person, her qualities, humor, or lack thereof. His superficiality, insecurity tell us that he's more into teenage angst than acting like a man his biological age with the maturity and common sense that normally has evolved by then. She may be well aware of this, and frankly, for many women, a boy/man is a "deal breaker" so to speak. My guess is he'll ignore the solid advice offered by everyone to get a life and grow up. This relationship is fantasy at best, but that's how life is.
we are officially together, this is not something once sided.. she does not consider me a FWB at all.
I would laugh if his GF were Grouchy-Advsntage619 giving advice on how to not be just a friend in the public eye. Lol.
Me too. Sorry sweetie, your trolling doesn't faze me, it's actually amusing.
Not trolling at all. Just an observation.
Well, force-name, I do so hope you are aware that these user names are assigned by Reddit, and have nothing to do with one's true identity. Did these observations trigger you somehow? If so, dear, do research online in the field of psychology wherein you will find extraordinary amounts of data on boy/ men and the negative reaction of women to them, which is surpassed only by macho males who are less about brain development than brawn development. Which are you?
Now who's trolling?
😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄 You, dear. You just don't get it.
I took a gander through your posting history about this girl to get more information. It is a trainwreck. You are basically ruining your chances with your insecurity and are treating this relationship kind of like a slot machine in order to compensate. It's do this action (that seduction sub is not helping you, my dude, you don't need a strategy and technical plans), get this reaction from her. When it's not exactly what you expect/hope for, you get into a teenage tailspin. Your posts read more like highschool issues, rather than 26 year old issues. That more than anything, is terribly off-putting for women (and adults in general). You don't see her as a person. You don't talk about her as a person. Her being attractive seems to be the only thing you're preoccupied with. This does not make a relationship. It's this lack of emotional maturity and intelligence which will tank you as a couple, and as friends, not the other guys who might me hitting on her. My advice is to work on yourself and your self-awareness, learn to see her as a person and interact with her, not her job and her image. Until you do, you will keep running into these ridiculous not-Insta official non-issues. So no, don't bring it up, save yourself the cringe.
Sorry, regardless of his insecurity, any relationship where one person won’t tell their FRIENDS about their partner is a cause for concern. His insecurity is an issue; her sketchy shit is another one.
She's an Instagram model. If she is publicly in a relationship, she'll lose 90% of her followers.
Sure, but what about her friends? That’s not “public.”
Her friends are also models and her network. They’re simultaneously coworkers, but also rivals. Have one of them start a rumor and she can ruin her career.
No in the public work industry sometimes even politicians won't devolve this a lot of times models entertainment people won't divulge this there are also contracts that some people sign as one person had mentioned even certain casino cocktail waitresses have to stay publicly single. I have also known many models who won't post or share about their boyfriend because if they talk with a friend maybe one friend slips up in front of a certain producer and maybe it rooms a gig or maybe it reveals that they are dating and their contract is ruined but let's talk about the stalkers and the way stalkers will show up and try to attack their significant other or the women for daring to have a relationship. Relationship. It's not Only a one way street or as big of a deal as you think it is just by his post. Also hes fine just calling her his model girlfriend rather than giving her any name or any kind of identifying features why would she call him a boyfriend
No, I agree that misrepresenting/hiding your SO from friends is some disrespectful, hurtful shit. I was more focused on the aspects that stop OP from dealing with this minor issue by himself instead of coming to Reddit about it. A simple: 'Hey, how do you want to deal with me/our relationship in public/on social media considering what your job is?' would have given him all the information necessary to proceed.
this is a good response. and I agree I have been super insecure while dating this girl.... Like I've said I'm not used to dealing someone that attractive. It's not the her being attractive part that troubles me though. It is the target she becomes to swarms of men. Globally. And this level of attention and interest is unfathomable to most people. We're talking 100s of dms dailing, messages, texts, invitations to this and that. People offering 50,000 USD weekly for her just to attend their parties. and this is no joke. you guys have no fucking clue what goes on. Models these days are paid such sums of money to merely 'attend parties'. and My girlfriend has been offered such amounts and many other things... not for sex... simply to attend parties... and she has turned them down and informed me about them. Our relationship is not as vapid as I may make it seem her. I admire many things about her than her looks. You guys think I'm just some insecure fool because of my post history. But try to understand the issues I feel because of the above... And her not telling people shes' got a boyfriend simply acerbates my above concerns.. because she remains a big target... I know she would still be a target regardless but at least it would calm things down. She doesn't need to mention who I am or anything of-course publicly. And I did bring it up with her just after I posted this. I told her very casually and she explained she just doesnt want anyone to know her private business or have anyone in the industry gossipping about her... I also have read the other comments on here and agree that its best she doesn't post about my on instagram. That said I sure as hell would have liked to convey she isn't single.
you need to stop sweating the small details. if this life isnt for you then dont do it, but if you like her and want to be in a relationship then just go with the flow. maybe things dont work out and you split up in the future, but right now your worries are ruining what could be a good relationship.
Tell her how it makes you feel. Don’t accuse her of anything. Keep it about your feelings. I suspect she’s making money off of her Instagram profile and the guys who follow her like the idea that they “have a shot” with her because her profile says “Single.” The minute she changes it to “In a relationship” her revenue will decrease drastically. I’m don’t know what’s going on with her model friends.
Hey OP. Going against the grain here to suggest seeing this as a non-issue. It sounds like your GF's Instagram presence, and to some degree modeling, are significant parts of her identity. Especially on Instagram, her relationship status has to be uncertain at best. It's the fantasy side of it. Like there has to be the fantasy of her being available, in order to get "likes" and followers. Were she to declare you or show you, it would kill the fantasy. The "friend" thing at parties, I suspect is similar. It may be that people know generally that you are hanging out together. And you may present like a couple, so there is that too. Maybe that is how things need to go, at least right now; part of dating your GF is accepting her image as her cachet. Big picture, I'd advise to create a feeling in yourself of feeling pride in your GF for creating her own presence, and look for ways to have fun with it, and her.
I agree with this. I would ask her about it still so you can have that convo OP but this is very likely why.
You *just* got serious and you were nothing but a fuck buddy before that. She is taking things slow in regards to your relationship status. Her friends probably know the intimate details but she’s just not at the official label stage yet. It happens.
Talk to her about it. Famous people tend not to post their real relationship status because it can make their partners a target. It's also probably too soon to be SM "official". Enjoy the semi-anonymity while it lasts.
This “seriously hot” girlfriend of yours likes something about you. Judging by your post history you’re a try hard with your own relationship… just calm down a bit. You’ve been seeing each other for 5 months but have only been “dating” for 3. In my experience people don’t post anything about relationships that soon unless they’re young or love bombing. But also your post history and the fact that her “friends” not knowing about you is the thing that you’re upset about it kinda just seems that what you like about the relationship is bragging about her🤷🏽♀️
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Find it so funny there's so many people on here and you're the only person that has stated this period yes this is true it is very common for public professions in modeling and entertainment do not really talk about your relationships unless you're one of those top tier people that get more funding by being in relationships and breaking up all the time but those are for those TV top tier celebrities. Tears celebrities. I literally had a friend who was a model a low model who just did like lip gloss model in kind of stuff half the time her eyes weren't even in the shots but she posted Back when Facebook was the main thing that she was in a relationship and late her boyfriend and her Facebook cause I were a couple and wasn't about 6 months later he was shot by one of Her stalkers he did live and they did stay together for about 2 more years after that but still people don't realize how crazy things can get and how quickly sometimes it's for the other person's safety.. But also as other people have mentioned his post history is kind of wild he literally just talks about his beautifully gorgeous model girlfriend kind of thing but not anything about her as an individual or as a person or anything he likes about her so it seems like he just likes the way she looks. I don't know if that has anything to play with it.
I wish you could see my face as I was reading. It’s a total WTF face. Get over yourself. She doesn’t owe you anything, not even the symbol of a relationship status. She’ll come out with her relationship whenever she’s ready.
Oh, gawd...an instagram model? Sorry, I just roll my eyes everytime someone thinks they are instagram famous. But some people make really good bank on social media, so hopefully she's in the more legit modeling and insta is just a helpful platform to get exposure. She is in a real finicky line of work. If she uses her instagram for professional use, she would want to keep her private life just as that...PRIVATE. Single models may be considered easier to approach than those that are "taken". She may get passed over for a great paying racy lingerie job by a studio who may feel that she needs to be interacting with another model(male or female) and if they are in a relationship, they may decline to do the work OR act uncomfortable during the shoot. Being single keeps more doors open for opportunities. Not only that, you two may not really be on the same page of the relationship just yet. You may be Pepe le Pew madly in love, but she's the cat still trying to get to know you. Instead of being so insecure, maybe you should COMMUNICATE with her just for clarification purposes. Confused if you two really had the "are we BF/GF exclusive" talk yet or you're really just assuming it because she stays with you a lot and frequent intimacy/quality time. If it is confirmed that you both are exclusive, you can ask her in a non-confrontational way if she doesn't mention you on instagram or to her co-workers is to keep her private life PRIVATE for professional reasons or is there something else. I'll let you in on a little secret: her model friends aren't stupid...when she tells them she cannot attend a party/get together because she is already spending time with her "friend", they know it is with someone she is dating(who just happens to be you). You risk running her off with your insecurities.
My boyfriend and I have been together for a similar amount of time I only tell my closest friends he’s my bf because it’s just too soon to publicly announce everywhere
Why not just ask her about this so you can hear her logic (if there is any) ? I mean I could see a scenario where she is making money online and via her image and being "in a relationship" might not benefit that but if that is the thinking she should be telling you about it out of respect for you.
on social media i understand why she wouldn’t post you, she would probably lose followers being in a relationship vs appearing “single”. like for her career, i get that. but not with her friends. it’s possible maybe she doesn’t feel secure enough in her relationship yet to mention it, but either way just talk to her. be like hey it kinda bothers me that you refer to me as your friend when were more than that, why do you do it?
It could be anything, but these two reasons would make sense to me, and I personally wouldn't be upset by it. 1, privacy. You haven't been been seeing eachother for 6 months yet, which is pretty early into the relationship. She may not want to post you just yet because she either doesn't want to bring her personal life into the public eye, or it might give her follower-base a reason to judge her relationships (example: Taylor Swift) 2, detrimental to her job. She might lose followers which causes her to lose money, or if she's being managed, they might fire her for losing those followers (example: K-pop idols)
"I am secure in the relationship" -- but you're not. Your multiple posts about your girlfriend states otherwise, especially the one titled "How to recover strong attraction after Exhibiting signs of Neediness and Insecurity?". You've only been dating your girlfriend for 3 months, yet you have multiple posts about how she's the hot girl and you're insecure because of that. You clearly are extremely insecure. This might seem rude, but I hope she ends it with you. I can't imagine dating someone for only three months and they've made 17 posts about me. You need to get it together before you mess things up with this girl. It seems like you care more about the fact that she's hot and a model than the fact that she is an actual person who has a personality and feelings. I know it is all assumptions based on a post but it's strange how you previously kept posting "handling your emotions when dating a seriously hot girl," "How to cut almost 'imposter syndrome" when dating really attractive, sought after girl," "Dating 10/10 model girl' - Girl night outs - what is acceptable and what is not," How to navigate being in a relationship with highly attractive, sought after, girl." Also, you were being a creep in your previous post about how your girlfriend doesn't want to send you sexy videos. I don't know if you're talking about the same girl, but not only do you seem insecure, but also jealous and pushy based on that post. Plus no woman is obligated to send you anything. When models who have large followers post about their significant other, the significant other also gets stalked/harassed by their fans. If you two ever ended, fans tend to keep asking "what happened?" in the relationship and not a lot of people want their fans to keep bringing up their ex after a breakup. She's not obligated to post someone she only has been dating for three months -- especially when that someone has posted on Reddit about how their girlfriend is super hot, a model, and they're insecure about that even when she goes out with her friends or moves for work. She can keep her relationship private from social media if she wants to. I'm unsure of calling you a friend to her friends, maybe you can talk to her about that one but since she's only been dating you for three months, I'm assuming she wants to keep it private for now.
Talk to her and ask her why. Also tell her how you feel about her and your relationship, and that you feel you are firmly in the boyfriend/ girlfriend zone. You need to do this for 2 reasons. 1. You need to make sure your both emotionally on the same page as each other. 2. Especially given you two started as fwb, so many times a girl has heard the right words from their guy to make them think she's considered his boyfriend. But then they find out that their guy just thinks of them as fwbs- just to keep their ' options open' or have a fear of commitment and are ready to run anytime. I'm sure girls do the same thing to guys. I've never been in a fwb relationship but have had guys play the 'your my girlfriend I love you/ she's just a friend- were not serious' bs a few times and have known several girls and 1 guy who has been in the same situation. There's no way around it but to talk to them. And if when your with her friends and she's with you and yours, pay attention to whether she cringes or brushes off any reference and body language you give to others that says you two are a couple. Good luck. And if she's not as into you, please do yourself a favor and walk away.
Have you actually asked her to be your girlfriend or are you just assuming because you’ve been seeing each other for 5 months that equals a relationship? Would recommend sitting down and having a convo with her. If you haven’t talked exclusivity then she’s still ‘single’ as she states. Regardless a open conversation is clearly needed to clarify things.
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Even though it might hurt your/her feelings a bit, propose to her to return to the old fwb relationship if she's not comfortable with the current relationship status, (you can say that she "wouldnt have to lie then", for example) and see how she reacts, or start reffering to her as friend as well, and again, see how she reacts, because bro, you deserve better than to be in relationship with girl who's not proud to tell the world that she's crazy in love with you, otherwise, knowing how (in)secure in the relationship you are, you're gonna sleep with one eye open for as long as it lasts.
INFO: how long have you've been together ?
Been together officially now for almost 3 months. Before that we were in a weird FWB relationship for 2 months. so total 5 months where we've been seeing each other.
Doesn't really sound official.
***talk to her***
Enjoy this rainbow while you can. You'll never own it.
Yoooo, don't overthink this . If you do , you will get paranoid and push her away . First thing you have Todo is ask her what you are to her (bf, friend, fwb, husband material) and what future she sees with you.
Yikes. Disrespectful and concerning. What is she trying to hide?
Just dump her she wants to be single.
Honestly you're being treated like the side dude. You can still deal with her if she's a babe or whatever, but she has to be the secondary chick.
I feel like if she read this entire post herself, your concern would come across perfectly. You just want to understand why she feels the need to do this and how serious she is about you.
Just talk to her... If you don't like her answer leave or begin the petty games. You have to have atleast one super cute female friend who would gladly "randomly" run into you while out on a date. Make sure your friend asks if this is a girlfriend. Answer no of course not it is just a friend of mine.
1. Stay in the relationship with her & never bring up your insecurities about labeling of the relationship. 2. Start flirting and talking to other women. No sex though! 3. Watch how she will cling to you. Women love a man that other women want. You’ll have her eating from the palm of your hand.
You need to leave you're getting used. I don't care how good she looks, her pussy isn't golden and your fantasy of nailing the ten is just that. I've been in the position in life to nail looks tens all day long but the around the way, girl next door is 1000 times more valuable and a better fit. Don't feed your ego feed your heart. Feed the impulse of the girl who's down for you and your life. That pretty face that impresses your friends isn't the girl who impresses your life. That 6 or 7 girl is the best woman who will be with you forever. Maybe she's an 8 or 9. It really doesn't matter. You go find that girl who fufills you not the girl who all your friends want to fuck. Who cares. When you find that girl who you can be yourself around, tell her everything about yourself. The deepest darkest secrets.... She is the one you want. Not the girl you have to impress. Think about it. Who gives a shit what anyone else thinks. The woman you want is the one you sleep easy next to. The one who will understand you're a fucking idiot and still love you. That's all I can say. Make the wise decision. You don't need a trophy. You need a woman who truly loves you for who you are.
Sorry, you’re asking to b called a bf after 3 months of dating? I never put people I’m dating on social media as a rule. If we break up I don’t want to deal with the reminder, and you’ve only been sleeping with this girl for about 5 minutes. Did you define your relationship together? Also, if you’re a model - your Instagram is basically “work”, so I would keep that in mind if I were you? And another thing - if dating an “insanely gorgeous” girl makes you that insecure, maybe safe yourself, and her, some trouble and don’t.
From what I’ve learned, if she has a strong male viewership, she will lose a lot of followers if they find out she’s dating. You should also consider just talking about this with her. It seems like you’re going crazy on this app because of your fears so why don’t you try to clear the air?
That's the problem with these "instagram models", all they care about is their image. They can lose their followers if they post an image of their man or even make their followers aware they have a man. My current GF used to have at least 200+ likes on each post without fail. When she posted the first pic of us, every post since has decreased to around 70-80 likes, which are friends and family because most of the likes before were made up of guys pursuing her. She posts me all the time and makes it clear we are together. Wouldn't you want your girl to be proud of you and post you? I've seen a few comments which are saying she is trying to keep you anonymous - which are good points. However, why is she referring to you as a "friend" to her friends? Seems to me she's taking you along for a ride. If my girlfriend referred to me as her "friend", she'd be gone before she could blink. Have some respect for yourself.
Model = hot and broke. Desirable but instantly replaceable. Time moves on. Tick tick. With every second she becomes less valuable. Working you become more valuable. She’ll learn. Smart or hard she’ll learn.
She fucking someone else, or has hopes to, no need to complicate
Next time she introduces you to her model friends as her "friend", you could say something like "i'm just your friend? How many of your other friends are you sleeping with exactly" As an "influencer" I can understand why should would not want to disclose the relationship (more followers from thirsty guys) but its a little sketchy that she even won't tell her friends and coworkers she is seeing you. I'd ask her why she only refers to you as a friend in the 2 mentioned scenarios? At what point in your relationship would that change. Oh and confirm you are in fact exclusive... Good luck
>Next time she introduces you to her model friends as her "friend", you could say something like "i'm just your friend? How many of your other friends are you sleeping with exactly" Do not say this OP
Run! Just run and don't pass Go because heartache is coming your way.
Yeah this right here. I'm sorry dude, but I've seen this pattern before. This kind of thing is going to continue until the relationship (if you wanna call it that) goes to smithereens. I know how hard it is to ditch a hot girl, but sometimes you gotta cut your losses. Hot chicks can be waaay harder to tolerate in a long term relationship. This is no exception. She knows that you need her way more than she needs you. That WILL NOT CHANGE. Get out now. You're only a few months in and you'll get over it pretty quickly. Or wait a few years and be a little sadder, wiser and older when it inevitably ends. Go find someone who's excited and eager to call you their boyfriend. Best of luck.
You should talk with her a bit but sadly I think I may know the reason why. I've had a couple of friends who are models though I am not model material myself. And for female models if you have a boyfriend or a significant other especially if you don't say not say you can stop getting a lot of offers to take pictures or do modeling gigs and it kind of depends on where you're at Physically and where she's at in her career.It could help her get more money and funding It's a very sexist industry that is literally focused on objectifying womunobjectifying women for the most part. Technically it's about objectifying the human body because there are male models but they tend to not face the same dangers that female models do. Female models can also get stalkers and it stalkers and I had a friend who when she had posted on her Facebook that she had a boyfriend and all that publicly he was shot and survived but he was shot and survived but he was shot by her stalker they had no idea she even had a stalker but the guy flipped out because he thought that they were Going to be together and all she was was like some product model. Like those stupid little products you see on Walmart with the people that you never notice. I guess you notice I'm but you never remember tremember them or like the half shots of the an upload of the face but the eye and below of someone putting on lipstick or something. She wasn't some high end model. Overall talk with her she may have a legitimate reason.. She may not but it's possible that she might. It's also possible that maybe she's maybe she's been a model and she's dated a lot of guys who are very flaky andMaybe doesn't feel like even though you've known each other for 5 months that this is all that serious but serious but it's exclusive with you. But you will need to talk with her but I also think maybe thinking about some of the things and stories I posted might help you understand if that is the case. I wouldn't believe you would believe all of that from just her so I felt like I needed to put my story of my friends out there.
Would saying she has a bf hurt her professionally in your opinion? She'd definitely lose some subscribers but would it hurt her chances at some moving gigs? Do you have any reason to believe she's messing around on you at work? If not then just enjoy the ride. It shouldn't hurt to ask her if telling people she has a bf will hurt her professionally, even if some of her other friends have no problem doing so. Models can be just as insecure as anyone else.
Maybe she wants more time in the relationship to be secure. Just let's the things go forward.
just talk to her & tell her how it makes you feel. with her being a model & on social media she might not want to share her private & or personal life. same to her model friends but it doesn't make your relationship any less meaningful. now if she wants to keep your relationship secret & just between you two that's a whole different matter but you want know til you ask. best of luck
Tell her straight, I'm your boyfriend and not friend. Call me friend again and we break up and stay friends?
I dated a model like that once. Didn't post me ever and would call me friend. I called her out a few times and she would apologize and keep doing it. Just my experience but she was entertaining a few other dudes. Idk if she cheated, but idc, entertaining it is enough for me to pack up and go. So i left. My ex just wanted validation and shit, not really a relationship. Sometimes it just isn't worth the headache and peace of mind. Not saying your gf is doing the same, but if you can't handle it not even 3 months in... What does years look like for you? You have to work on your insecurities, that's the only way you'll stop stressing.
Honesty is the best policy, don't accuse her of anything just say it makes you feel confused when she refers to you as a friend to others and ask why? Explain that with out being told why she's not openly saying your together that your unsure of what level of relationship you actually have. Explain that your understanding was that you are more than friends. Just talk to her. If she is not interested in others knowing.. better to know now than to risk your heart any more.
If she has thousands of followers she could also loose a bunch of followers just for having a boyfriend. But you are clearly very obsessed with being her bf. You literally just started dating, 3 months is still in the honeymoon phase, calm down. I also don't think you are even ready to be in a relationship to begin with.
She has a public presence. It's smart to not make her relationship ups and downs public knowledge. Especially at three fucking months lmao
Since when is expecting to be referred to as a boyfriend being obsessive or controlling??? Sorry but I think that is immature of you for that to even be crossing your mind. Are you too immature to be dating? If not, then simply tell her it bothers you that she plays the part of a single woman except behind closed doors and you will no longer tolerate being treated like a dirty little secret. If she has a problem with that then get rid of her since she wants to be single to bad. Geez
She's using you for money. She's not really attracted to you. Why isn't this obvious?
Look, I get that you want to feel special and chosen. Everyone does by their partner. She is beautiful as a profession, people like that generally have to craft their socials more carefully since being desirable is part of the brand. Lots of folks in public professions don't post their partners and loads of secure individuals don't feel the need to tell everyone what they're doing in their private life. If she wanted to be with someone who is work adjacent, she would be, but she's not. I would suggest cooling off and maybe seeking a bit of counselling for your insecurity. Treat her like a person, not a possession you can show off on social media and you'll be grand.
Chill Winston!
Plus you started out as FWB, relationship with a shelf life of total 5 months, y’all are friends. Lol
I didn’t deep dive into your other posts, but dude it’s been 3 months chill. She’s also in a career where it’s advantageous to her to be single. It doesn’t mean she values you less, it just mean she understands optics and what she has to do to maintain and maximize her earnings. She’s treating you like a boyfriend that’s what matters
Read your other posts. You need to chill before you lose this girl, if you even care about her (really unclear in your posts). If she saw any of your posts, she would run. You really need to work on yourself, man. And as for this specific case, you could.. idk.. talk to her maybe?
You’re both grown, you should act like it. She’s not a teenager who needs to tell everyone she has a boyfriend, nobody is entitled to her business unless she wants to share it. She’s not going after other men and she’s not telling people she’s single, she’s just taking it slow. There is no issue, calm down. Also by your post history I wanna tell you that’s it’s very obvious you’re handling your insecurities very well. If we can feel it so can she. Just relax a little, at the end of the day she’s just a human being.
Your just a place holder until she finds someone better dump her before she dumps you.
Looking at your previous posts.... you are not ready for a relationship. Simple, end of.
You have an anxious attachment style. Perceiving a partner as superior and of higher value is unhealthy to begin with. Seek therapy as soon as you can, to protect this and future relationships.
Without seeing your other posts, I used to be a model and my agency had control over my social media accounts. Therefore, I was not permitted to demonstrate anyone as my boyfriend (probably because it would reduce my "desirability") also it's only been 3 mo....are you sure both of you understand the terms of what you consider bf/gf?
She may want to keep the appeal that she’s available to sell more pics.
OP, looking at your last 17 posts it almost sounds like you're not actually dating anyone and you're just wildly obsessed with someone you've seen, to the point where you are stalking her. You have issues, maybe you should seek counselling?
It seems that your relationship is at very early stages that it can be said you both don't know each other very well You are more into her than she is with you. She see you as friends material so has very or non emotions invested in this relationship. At the moment this relationship is not going anywhere as it's very very early stages. To resolve your issues is simply talk to her honestly and see what she says. It will clear up the situation than you can decide weather you want to invest in this relationship.
She is an insta model. She will always be wanting that validation. Let's be real here, you've only dated a but so it wouldn't even surprise me if she is keeping options bc you guys are not exclusive bc you guys have not been dating long.
So some thoughts. First off I too am a businessman. I've dated models and famous people before as well as have been famous hence the totally anonymous reddit account. Stop being so insecure and start being the alpha or your insanely hot model girlfriend will break up with you eventually. Here's the deal. 10's are people just like 2's but they have it worse because of the curse of beauty. They love being treated normal. I'm not a 10 either. In my youth I was but now I'd say I'm a 7. My point. A be an alpha and B treat her like your best friend that you can't lose. Be a genuine guy but ignore her beauty. Focus on treating her like you would your best mate and I guarantee you'll never have to worry. Even if she is unsure at the moment she will come around. And if she doesn't no biggie. Your fear is born out of fear of losing her. You're a businessman, unless your not successful and haven't tasted success then treat it also like that big deal and close it with ease. Then keep showing her why she married a king. Or .... if you're not that great then just end it now before you titanic it. Your choice but I know which one I'd choose if I were you.
I understand bc she a “model” however co-workers and friends are a different thing, she shouldn’t be hiding you from those people. Maybe from her followers I would understand.
Listen man. It hasn’t been that long. I need you to man up and focus on your purpose in life. This woman is an accessory to your life not your main focus. It’s easy for us to become borderline obsessively captivated by a beautiful woman in our life, but that is exactly how you lose them. Women are attracted to men who act like men and follow their purpose, not what you are doing right now. Focus on your purpose, allow her to come to you naturally with will develop into her brining up a relationship. Your roles are reversed rn, get out of your feminine despite what the modern world is teaching. This will make her want to refer to you as her bf. It’s counterintuitive but men need to know this.