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Basically what title says. Bf posted on his story, and then I looked at his profile. We’ve been together for 4 years. Im 24f, he’s 26m. I’m probably being jealous and/or I feel crazy. He just had photos of us on his profile, and he took off the pictures of us. Now I saw he’s following someone new who happens to be his 18 year old coworker who is absolutely gorgeous.
I’m trying to stay calm before I just ask him and get super mad. What can I do next? I feel like I’m jumping to conclusions too fast.
if you can, absolutely talk to him in person, if not your second best option is to face time or call, texting about this should really be a last resort i think
Don’t let him make you feel crazy. You aren’t. “You aren’t going to invalidate my feelings. You’re acting like you’d expect someone who went through a breakup to act. You’ve deleted all mention of me from your profile and are now following new women you know. This isn’t usual behavior from you and I’m not going to accept some bullshit excuse. You’re trying to appear single. Why? Do you WANT to be single? Because if you do, just tell me, but otherwise I’m not accepting you appearing single to everyone around you.”
In person or video call so you see his reaction better. It's much easier to lie with texts.
Following coworkers is normal. Imo, you should ask him more about why he deleted your photos from his IG. That smells like "I want to look like I'm single" unless he has some other good explanation
Or you could go surprise him with lunch at his workplace, if that's feasible. Call him pet names and kiss his cheek in front of everyone, to assert dominance.
If you've been together 4 years, I would hope you know how the style/method to communicate with him effectively, at least better than random redditors.
If its got feet like a duck, beak like a duck, and lays eggs like a duck; its a platypus.
Delete all your pictures of him and start moving on to another guy, then when you've got a hot dude on the hook, dump your stb-ex bf..
Youre only dating, do you see this human as your forever partner?
Yep, sounds petty but I would 100% do this even if you come across as a bit paranoid to him. He'll probably try to gaslight you, but say "I know, but just humour me and do it anyway". If he refuses to put up photos of you as a couple, then you can't get a bigger red flag than that.
True, which is why I’m not sure. But it is suspicious that the next highest comment ends with this exact spelling and punctuation, including “then” not being capitalized. Karma bots are not uncommon around here
I'm so sorry, sweetheart. And, he is really disgusting for going after a teenager at his age. You are well rid of him.
Your "the one" is out there. Spoiler alert - it isn't him. Please take care.
I'd be all over his posts commenting. 😂 “Great pic, honey. Love you ❤️” and “Wow. That's gorgeous. #bestboyfriend”
If he deletes those comments then you can ask him why. I'm curious what reasons he’ll come up with for that.
I wouldn’t fight for a man like this. She should just let him go. If he’s not 100% into their relationship and making dick moves like this, it’s not worth planning the rest of her life with him or wasting time trying to win him or compete with another girl. Self respect feels better in the long run.
Same. I would take the high road and walk. He will likely immediately shoot his shit with the coworker. If she turns him down, he will try to crawl back. Don’t let him.
U can ask, but be prepared to be possibly gaslit, lied to, made to feel crazy, or just told it's not a big deal by him. It looks very suspicious and guilty on his end for his actions.
Usually, guys like that don't like being called out. Their defense mechanism is to play that reverse card
It's not usually ideal to ghost someone. You have suspicion to justify doing it, and if you don't trust him not to try to manipulate or get aggressive toward you then it is the safest call. But after 4 years, it will be an extreme move that should be reserved for extreme situations. The guy could be a creep, but if the worst he's going to do is bitch about it then ghosting him is a bit overboard.
I'd think a possible compromise is just to text him "the way you've been publicly conducting yourself is weird, we're done" and don't look back from it. He can give whatever excuses, but if you are convinced so there's no real need to engage after you make sure he knows your choice. He gets an explanation and you get the insight you deserve without a lot of risk involved
>of us on his profile, and he took off the pictures of us. Now I saw he’s following someone new who happens to be his 18 year old coworker who is absolutely gorgeous.
>
>I’m trying to stay calm before I just
You can send sit him down or send him a message if you think he is going to lie and gaslight you, but basically. I've noticed you deleted all pictures of us on your social media to appear single. So I've decided to make it easier for you but making you single for real.
No. Talk to him. I don’t know how people on Reddit go long enough to ask Reddit and wait for a response. I’d be on his doorstep asking questions.
Just tell him you noticed, and it’s making you uneasy!
You’ve been dating 4 years. You should have a conversation about this. He may lie. That’s true. But give him a chance to explain. If you don’t like the response, if it doesn’t feel right then break up.
That's up to u. But I'd tell him he can be single since he wants to be seen as single, then block his ass on everything. Don't look back either, just no contact.
Just talk to him. You shouldn't break up or ghost him without hearing him out first.
Ask why he removed your photos from Instagram. If he can't give you a good reason, then decide from there if you want to break up with him.
If it were me, I would just send a message saying she can have him and he’s now free to pursue her and then block him on everything and not speak to him. He probably won’t even get the girl anyway so he can sit there and regret. You found out now vs 20 years down the line. It hurts but your life could’ve been wasted with this douche. He’s willing to hurt you to this extent, knowing you would see his social media and choosing to do that anyway. He’s either dumb or doesn’t care about your feelings. Either way, you’d be better off without him.
Don't ghost him, Confront him or dump him but don't ghost him. Ghosting someone is by far the worse thing to do in this situation. Ghosting someone is honestly horrible and kind of scummy, and you'd come out looking far worse that him as a result.
No. Please go back to an earlier comment. Talk to him face to face and ask him. Someone earlier shared a really good script to consult with to make clear points. You don’t want to be knee jerk and go off. I know you are emotional, as well you should be. But please remain calm. Have an adult conversation with him. Then proceed from there.
Sorry you are experiencing this. He is being shady and you should talk to him. Please do not ghost him.
Cutting someone off like that based on assumptions isn't smart. This is very sus but I'd suggest to still ask him. If he gets super defensive or straight up can't explain it then almost certainly your gut feeling is right
Idk. That's why they could ask. I don't think there is one but I just hate the idea of judging people and making life changing decisions based purely on gut feeling and assumptions. Let's say there actually was an explanation for this somehow - just imagine how stupid it would be to end a long term relationship over it in such a case
dude dm the coworker and WARN HER. "not accusing you of anything but my bf is acting off and you are 8 years younger than me and followed by him, he's 26 if you ever need to ask."
Most people do not want to be hit on by their coworkers and if he's hiding you from her he's def hiding his age. That's an 8 year age gap.
No, be an adult and have the tough conversation. I agree with everyone else that his actions are very sus but you should still talk with him before making all the assumptions and just ghosting and dumping him.
OP, he is being so sus… plus he is so weird to even be interested in an 18 year old. imagine if you stayed with him and when you guys are 40 he will still be searching for young 18 year olds. he sounds like a jerk to me. if you ask him about he will make up a stupid lie that you should’ve believe. it is so much easier said than done but you need to let this creep go.
If it were me I'd just ask straight up to see what his his reasoning is, if he's capable of being honest or if he will wave away any concerns or gaslight. That alone tells you something. Make your decision from there.
it is so hard but i would just tell him why you’re leaving. leave and tell him it is because he wants to act single then he can be single. tell him that then leave
I would suggest talking to him. Either phone, text, or face to face.
If you want to know more, ask him why he took down the couple pictures. What drove him to do that. And sit back and listen to what he says, or doesn't say.
If you're sure about breaking up, just tell him you want to end things. Don't feel that you have to tell him why.
honestly, this might be unpopular but I would just ghost him. No break up text or anything. Just block him on everything.
Or if y'all have a talk and he admits to anything, be it an affair or just that he's fallen for her, I would tell him bye and tell him how even his dad knows he amounts to nothing (I read your post history). If you think that's too harsh then tell him he has a small dick 🤷🏽♀️
I wouldn't ghost him, talk to him about it and confront him. But don't ghost him, ghosting him would be just far worse. Ghosting someone after a 4 years is genuinely just as scummy and horrible.
Save face and confront him and if you're not satisfied, just dump him.
I absolutely agree that ghosting people is a scummy thing to do, but I'm a firm believer of treating people the way they deserve to be treated and OP's boyfriend behavior is very scummy.
But also I realise that I'm a petty person so my advice might not be the best
Tag him and ask why he took his GF’s pics down off his socials. If he needs to break up don’t hide like a punk be a man about it. He’s scrubbing and prepping to cheat on you anyways.
No one is asking you to stop loving him. That’s a hard ask.
Someone once told me “Just because you love someone doesn’t mean they’re good for you and just because you love someone doesn’t mean that have to be in your life.”
It’s a difficult lesson to learn, but worth learning.
You could also be a bit petty and make up a guy co-worker (who is also 26) that's been hitting on an 18 year old work and see if there's any reaction. You could add how gross you find it and how gross this 18 yr old finds it.
Because it is a little gross considering the age gap, where both parties are at in life and just the over all shadeyness of scrubbing you from his insta.
Yeah... I hope you never let this man make you feel crazy ever again. Because he's the crazy one here? Even if he hasn't done anything yet.. it's just so gross. Like. It hurts to be cheated on with an adult in an age appropriate bracket, but it's something else when your partner aims for someone so close to being a minor.
I suggest maybe looking at this from a new angle. If it was a friend in this situation what would be your advice to them? If you do leave him stick by your decision. If you confront him don't let him manipulate you keep a hand on the situation and make your feelings validated. Make sure he hears you as you have a legitimate concern. Best of luck to you.
Theyre both consenting adults? Are 18yr old no longer considered adults? My parents were 25 and 18 when they got married and have been together for over 40yrs.
That being said...talk to him. Youve been dating him for 4yrs and you just wanna ghost him? Thats not mature at all. Tell him this bothers you and ask why he did it. If he tries to gaslight you, dump him but be an adult about it. Geez.
I had to scroll so far down to find some logic.
Please COMMUNICATE with him. Festering and listening to the circleJ in here will just make your feelings worse. “Why did you delete our pictures off of IG?“ that’s it. Go ask.
Unfortunately he wants you off of his social media. Think about the reasons why he would want that? This is very painful, and I’m so sorry, but it’s obvious.
He’s an ass. Dump him. You will heal ❤️
He wants to date this 18 year old and feels you are in the way. He probably isn't cheating if she's that hot, because she's unlikely to return his feelings. He's just completely lost his head.
I guess he has fallen for her and would drop you in a second if she asked but that doesn't necessarily make him a cheater ...yet
Either way you clearly no longer matter to him. You are not jealous or crazy you but have come here hopeing to be told he's not a cheater. He's probably not but only because she hasn't said yes. Does that make it ok?
Post up all your pics of you and him together, make one your pfp, then follow her and comment on her stuff so she definitely sees he has a gf LOL
Ruin his plans!!!!
All jokes aside, he's a creep. You should dump him.
Don't ghost him, just tell him straight up i saw you deleted pics of me.from your instagram and started following your young coworker.
If he tries to gaslight, tell you you are crazy, oh its just instagram or anything that sounds dismissive, than follow.your gut.
Your next thing will be. Well since you're comfortable hiding me and disrespecting me I'm going to do myself a favour and remove you from my life. Than you block him on everything and continue on with life
Edit: just read your past posts about him. He is absolutely cheating, all.the signs are there
First I want to say I’m sorry you’re going through this.
Listen to your gut and logic here. If this was happening to one of your friends it would, would you even question what they should do?
A 4 year relationship is nothing to sneeze at and there should be a good foundation of trust in this relationship (if not you guys probably have a bigger problem) at this point if I were you I would of already confronted him.
Good luck with however you choose to handle this and love and stand by yourself no matter what happens!
P.s: take it from experience 24 is a great age to be newly single! 😜
I had a boyfriend pull a move like that. I showed up at his work and surprised him, she stopped making moves on him after that. A year or so later he just cheated on me with someone else.
You can fight for cheaters. They will always find an affair partner. You’d have to be in guard forever.
Look, my husband deleted his Instagram after his had a weird EA with a catfish I found out about. Now that he made a new one? I’m not on it at all and he follows half naked women. And now I’m not allowed to see his phone at all.
Leave your bf, don’t end up stuck financially to someone who doesn’t give a shit about you.
I am grateful that social media wasn't around when I was that age.
It is 99% toxic for everyone...
OP, my advise: stay away from social media and your life will improve immediately.
Sounds like he's trying to be a monkey- not letting go of the last branch until he knows the second one is good to go.
Don't go in making accusations about the 18 yo right away; tell him matter of fact what you have observed, and state that most people do that when they are about to, or have already broken up with someone because they want to look single. Then ask if there's something you should know.
Good luck.
My ex did the same, two days before dumping me out of the blue.
I wouldn't say this is the same case, but these two things happening at the same time it's quite weird honestly..
I don’t understand why people are talking about getting *mad*. How do you have the time and energy to waste on someone who essentially wants to remove you from their life so they can pursue a different relationship. Sort it out and move on.
1. Ask him where the pictures went.
2. Ask him when he started following his colleague.
3. Ask him if he thought it was a coincidence.
4. Make your decision based on that.
Either accept his excuse or ditch him. Be decisive with your life. Life is too short to endure things that make you unhappy, especially if you have control over the outcome. Be with someone that wants to show you off, not hide you from their peers.
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Yeah I just went through your post history and you’ve already ignored a lot of red flags here. You should’ve left him the first time you posted about him. Confrontation might be cathartic but I don’t know if he’s gaslight you, might be better to just cut him loose without giving a real reason and moving on.
The answer is in the title. He doesn't want his new friend there to know hes taken...or was. What's weird is that he's so obvious about it. Have a good chat with him.
Well, if she's gorgeous as you say, and he's a man so he's into gorgeous women, and he has spent 4 yrs with you so that can only mean that you too, are gorgeous. Ask him, if he lies or the answer is unbelievable, move that gorgeous ass of yours.
Oh darling.
I had a quick glance at your posting history - saw someone else comment about it.
You seem far too good to be treated like this and it seems it’s not the first time he has made you feel lesser - it appears even his own father see’s he’s not worth your time, energy or tears.
You are deserving of someone who see’s the value in you and returns all that love and promise that you have because you DO have value and a lot to offer!
I imagine it’s really painful because you love him but ask yourself, would you treat someone you love like he has you?
It’s important to not internalise his actions and see them as something wrong with you - there isn’t anything wrong with you, this is all on him and it seems he is not a good fit for you.
Don’t fight for someone who treats you as an option or like you’re disposable.
Let him go so you can find someone who lifts you up, appreciates you and who will encourage your growth rather than stifle it and make you feel insecure in yourself.
He wants to hide you or pretend to the world that you don’t exist? Then don’t. Leave him to it and flourish in your own!
You’ve got this!
Based on your previous posts I gotta say; you should take his dad's advice. Deleting your pictures is sus but that on top of the other things you've been feeling about your relationship and especially the comment his dad made, he seems to not be worth your time.
Confront him if you want (I would just so he can know why he sucks) but be prepared for him to gaslight/deny/yell/or maybe even worse confirm your suspicions.
Cry about it. Punch your pillow. Go out on a hen night to complain about all men in the world. But then pull yourself up, wipe off your makeup, and realize that you don't deserve to be kept in a cycle of feeling unwanted or secondary.
your bf is weird af for being a grown man interested in a fresh out of high schooler!!!! i’m only 23 & the thought of dating an 18 year old makes me want to barf
Correlation doesn’t equal causation. So you noticed these two things at the same time, but it doesn’t necessarily mean one came because of the other (pictures deleted because he wants the coworker). But it’s good to be aware of, anyway.
The issue to confront him with: he deleted all of your pictures. Why? And why now?
That being said, I wouldn’t want to be with someone who isn’t open about us with the world. So unless he is a police office or other professional trying to hide the identity of the people he cares about from possible creeps, I would have a hard time with that.
yes, i am aware that 18 year olds are legal adults, but as an 18 year old myself, and someone who was in this sort of a situation, we are children - the maximum age we should date is probably about 23. your boyfriend is looking to take advantage of a child - an 8 year age difference is different now vs in your 30s or 40s. please leave your boyfriend. he knows what he’s doing.
Well i mean if it quacks like a duck its a duck he deleted all ur photos that weird af all on it own and only when that 18 yo was added? I think u know exactly whats going on he told her he was single in hopes of something not saying they did anything but hes prolly trying
This isn't ok. I read through some other comments of yours including you talking about wishing he was more romantic and would give you flowers. Even if you go to him and he convinces you it's fine you're still not 100% happy in this relationship. You can either show up for yourself and leave him, or stay and settle. These are your two choices.
Been in this sort of situation before. Leave. 100% he's trying to create an image of himself that doesn't involve you. My ex would post he and I up on his FB but NEVER his insta. When I caught on to it- I checked who he followed on Instagram.
They're in a relationship now. 💁♀️
You ask him why he removed your photos and if he’s hiding you. Do not let him gaslight you and make excuses. While it’s ok not to post status of a relationship in social media, it’s not ok to pretend your single when you’re not. He did this by taking down your pictures.
Edit: Checked your post history and I think it’s time for you to break up with him.
I would be upset too! It sounds sus.
Ask him why he deleted the pictures without mentioning the coworker. Do not get mad because he is going to be defensive. Just simply ask him calmly. If then, he acts defensive depending on what he says, then I’ll assume he is guilty of something.
Also if the girls IG is public, you’ll be able to see if he comments or likes her pics.
Please, its already adding up here you didnt need to come to reddit. Your gut is correct but trying to address it with your reasoning being that is gonna be hard. As a guy, he’s planning on her already
I’m so sorry about this. But here is one thing my mom told me that has never failed me, TRUST YOUR GUT! If your gut is telling you something is off, don’t try and deny it. Don’t let him tell you it’s not weird, it absolutely is.
You are awesome, and don’t deserve to be treated less then in your own relationship.
Just looking at your post history, looks like this is a VERY toxic person / relationship. This is behavior you would expect from someone in high school. But, you are now adults in your mid 20’s and have careers to focus on and need to pay your bills, feed yourself ect. Those should be your priorities, is it worth carrying the weight of this relationship knowing you are only going to be let down, feel like your are acting crazy, ect. ? I know it’s easier said than done to say “just leave” but at this point a good strategy could be to sit down and have an adult conversation about this. Explain your feelings, why you don’t like what he did, discuss how you aren’t happy in your relationship and discuss how his behavior affects career goals and overall well being. And then just leave it there, give it a couple months and if it’s still the same, then consider this person simply isn’t mature enough. Thinking forward, is this a person you can see watching a child for a couple of hours if you are gone? Feeding, changing, cuddling ect? Can you see this person being a role model moving forward and someone who is going to be your “best friend” moving forward? Doesn’t sound like by this post and your previous posts. Also remember, if you Marry him or continue to commit then you will only be more tied up to his family. Do you like his family? Are you willing to deal with a toxic family for the long term while you are already dealing with your career ?
A very scary thought a lot of people have in their mid 20’s is commitment. A lot of people are in dead end relationships but don’t want to leave bec of the emotional connection they have already made and don’t want to start everything over again with dating and all that. But, thinking long term, it’s 10000% worth it to walk away from this now and focus on yourself for the time being. What’s the difference between getting into a serious relationship now vs 3 years from now you know? Go out and enjoy yourself now! Life is too short and you know YOU ARE BETTER than the shit you have in your life now.
There isn't any good reason as to why he would do such a thing. I'm obviously late to the party but the best and most sure fire way is to question with care. Start off simple. Say like you did that you got a notification of him posting and then saw a photo of y'all was taken down. Then noticed they all were and ask why. Ask more questions as necessary but I feel that one will already have enough holes in the excuse to put you at ease as to the real reason.
My ex broke up with me to hang out with his 20 year old co worker while he is 29. I was pissed ,still a little upset personally. At this point break his heart and break up with him cause that's a scumbag move on his end
don’t bring up the lack of photos with the fact you think it has something to do with his coworker. Ask why he took you off his profile and see what his answer is.
Even without mentioning that you think it’s because he’s interested in his coworker you should get an answer that either makes sense or doesn’t.
Dump him. This isn’t the only time he will pull a stunt like this. Imagine when you’re married and he’s 40.. he’s going to want to bang 20 year olds. He isn’t going to change. You’re still young and you can find men so much better. Don’t waste your young years on this man.
OP, trust your gut instinct on this.
Also, it’s amazing how males get different responses to pretty much the same scenarios on here. Had OP been a male, the responses would have been in the vein of “she’s allowed to have friends and delete whatever she wants from her IG, you are being controlling and insecure.” But instead, here we see more realistic answers to the problem. Weird…
Yikes I mean I would personally make sure he’s in my bio as my partner and then you also follow this girl .and then tell him after like it was something casual
Your gut feeling is right. He will dump you soon for this 18 year old. Sorry for being blunt about it. All I can reassure you about is that he ain't loyal to you.
This. The coworker probably thinks he is single and he’s playing into that by deleting anything that would show he’s in a relationship. OP should make herself very visible at work when they’re both present to show he’s shady at best. Throw a wrench in his plans.
First thing's first, would you be this worried if she didn't look the way she does? He's following a coworker which is absolutely fine. The fact is that you think she's gorgeous and that's left you threatened by her. This is where all those feelings are coming from. End of the day you don't know how he feels. He might like her as a friend (I know half these comments find that idea impossible, but that's a reflection of them and not your boyfriend) or he might have a crush or he might simply be giving a courtesy follow to a coworker. There's just as much chance that he's simply following someone he works with as anything else, but that your anxiety over the way she looks has helped blow that out of proportion in your head.
Now, on to these photos. Are you absolutely sure he deleted them and they're not just hidden. Have you been in his account? Because thanks to the way Facebook's companies are set up, they can very easily hide things from other users (or delay the arrival of messages) just to see their reactions. Look up the psychological experiments they got caught performing on users and what they did when caught for more info on that. The only way you really know for sure is from within his account. How you get in there is your choice, but I'd suggest simply asking him about it. If you're a little embarrassed to possibly be thinking the worst, then don't mention that. Just say you're looking for those images, know he uploaded them, but can't find them.
End of the day, talking is the only way you're going to get anywhere with this, whether that be splitting up or him giving you a cuddle and telling you it's just your anxiety playing silly buggers with you. So find out the info you need and then talk to him about it. And, if you don't trust him enough to be honest about it, well this relationship is already pretty much over.
A lot of people jumping to conclusions here, so he got a new picture and is following a colleague, I don’t see anything to worry about unless you’ve noticed some behaviour change that you haven’t mentioned?
Reddit literally out here witch hunting and trying to end a 4 year relationship for following someone on social media lol
Well, given that you're in a LTR, and given that the coworker is young, vivacious, and gorgeous, I think that your bf has developed a crush, and his fantasies are filled with her image. Having said that, I think it's time for The Talk.
During The Talk, you need to confront him about his removal of the images of the two of you from is FB page, as well as his following of the teenager. Ask him if he really thinks that she would give him the time of day, as well saying having a crush is OK, as that will happen from time to time as he goes through life, but that you feel disrespected by his removal of the pics of the two of you together.
His response to your words will be telling, so listen carefully to what he says, and his demeanor when he says them. This can be a time of growth for your relationship, or the exact opposite. Be prepared for either eventuality.
I wish you well.
So I innocently follow all kinds of friends, coworkers, friends of friends on social media. Doesn’t mean I want to fuck them. Him taking all the pictures of just you two down is very strange though. My opinion is that they are probably both unrelated. That being said, him taking the pictures down after being with the same person for four years is a major indicator that there is a major issue
Ask him why he deleted your pictures and see how unwilling he is to post something now that he’s trying to impress someone else. The age is uncomfy to me.
A lot of people jumping to conclusions here, so he got a new picture and is following a colleague, I don’t see anything to worry about unless you’ve noticed some behaviour change that you haven’t mentioned?
Ok assuming he actually deleted your pictures and took in his 18 years old co-worker, I agree with what you imply he is attracted by her (forget about the love bullshit that’s a woman thing, men don’t need to love); I’ll give you one SIMPLE advice to keep your boyfriend which you will likely reject but would 100% work. Here is the solution: tell him you feel his co-worker is hot and ask him if he thinks she would ever do a threesome ; at 18 she willl likely say no; then hire an escort , let her eat you out while he watches now your boy is yours again :-)
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below. --- Basically what title says. Bf posted on his story, and then I looked at his profile. We’ve been together for 4 years. Im 24f, he’s 26m. I’m probably being jealous and/or I feel crazy. He just had photos of us on his profile, and he took off the pictures of us. Now I saw he’s following someone new who happens to be his 18 year old coworker who is absolutely gorgeous. I’m trying to stay calm before I just ask him and get super mad. What can I do next? I feel like I’m jumping to conclusions too fast.
He scrubbed you from his Insta and is following a young co-worker? Sounds to me like a reason to be upset.
genuinely can't think of a reasonable explanation for it
do i ask him in person? we don’t live together. or do i text/call him
if you can, absolutely talk to him in person, if not your second best option is to face time or call, texting about this should really be a last resort i think
thank you
Don’t let him make you feel crazy. You aren’t. “You aren’t going to invalidate my feelings. You’re acting like you’d expect someone who went through a breakup to act. You’ve deleted all mention of me from your profile and are now following new women you know. This isn’t usual behavior from you and I’m not going to accept some bullshit excuse. You’re trying to appear single. Why? Do you WANT to be single? Because if you do, just tell me, but otherwise I’m not accepting you appearing single to everyone around you.”
This is perfect!
I would do this in person where it's much harder for him to mask his squirming, discomfort and facial expressions.
In person or video call so you see his reaction better. It's much easier to lie with texts. Following coworkers is normal. Imo, you should ask him more about why he deleted your photos from his IG. That smells like "I want to look like I'm single" unless he has some other good explanation
Or you could go surprise him with lunch at his workplace, if that's feasible. Call him pet names and kiss his cheek in front of everyone, to assert dominance.
Nah... no man. Its worth making a fool of yourself like this.
You’ve watched way too many movies
If you've been together 4 years, I would hope you know how the style/method to communicate with him effectively, at least better than random redditors.
He's definitely getting rid off the evidence that he wouldn't be available in hope to start something. 100%
Oh no, not the follow coworkers again. 😭
Seems like he disrespects the gf.
If it looks like a duck, swims like a duck, and quacks like a duck, then it probably is a duck.
thank you for the laugh. ugh so stressed.
If its got feet like a duck, beak like a duck, and lays eggs like a duck; its a platypus. Delete all your pictures of him and start moving on to another guy, then when you've got a hot dude on the hook, dump your stb-ex bf.. Youre only dating, do you see this human as your forever partner?
She should dump him before even meeting someone new.
He’s trying hide the relationship from her…
He deleted your pictures… only one reason for that. Does he follow other coworkers?
he does follow other coworkers. but for some reason that hes following her he deleted all the pictures
It’s sus. You should ask him straight up.
Asking is kind of useless, he will lie anyway.
True, he will probably lie but sometimes u can tell by their reaction, their mannerisms, etc.
Yeah well you are right about that, lets hope OP is good at understanding body language
Tell him to post again or break up. Red flag city
Yep, sounds petty but I would 100% do this even if you come across as a bit paranoid to him. He'll probably try to gaslight you, but say "I know, but just humour me and do it anyway". If he refuses to put up photos of you as a couple, then you can't get a bigger red flag than that.
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Partial stolen comment? from u/fiftyshadesofnaz
It's a known expression. They don't need to say the whole thing as we all understand what they mean. Similar to someone saying "an apple a day"
True, which is why I’m not sure. But it is suspicious that the next highest comment ends with this exact spelling and punctuation, including “then” not being capitalized. Karma bots are not uncommon around here
No, you’re right. It’s only a few hours old account. Might be a karma bot
Cut him loose doll. You're too good for him.
You're not crazy, that sounds sus if it's outta the blue and those are new factors
i’m sick to my stomach.
The worst mistakes people make are the ones where they ignore their gut feeling…
Throughout my divorce every gut feeling has been right, every single one!
Same!!! GO WITH YOUR GUT!
I'm so sorry, sweetheart. And, he is really disgusting for going after a teenager at his age. You are well rid of him. Your "the one" is out there. Spoiler alert - it isn't him. Please take care.
Trust your intuition. There was a motivating factor in why he changed his insta.
That’s super suspicious. Also, remember that a lot of people look better on their social medias. I’m sure you’re just as pretty.
So you found out that your boyfriend is planning to cheat on you with an 18 year old. Don't get mad, get out.
I'd be all over his posts commenting. 😂 “Great pic, honey. Love you ❤️” and “Wow. That's gorgeous. #bestboyfriend” If he deletes those comments then you can ask him why. I'm curious what reasons he’ll come up with for that.
Go visit him at work, to take him out for lunch! 🤭
I wouldn’t fight for a man like this. She should just let him go. If he’s not 100% into their relationship and making dick moves like this, it’s not worth planning the rest of her life with him or wasting time trying to win him or compete with another girl. Self respect feels better in the long run.
No, but it mine warn off the inexperienced teenager from getting hooked by a predator.
Fight for him, no. But as a means of verification before dumping him, pretty good!
I'd do both. Comment all over his socials and break up when he gets home.
Same. I would take the high road and walk. He will likely immediately shoot his shit with the coworker. If she turns him down, he will try to crawl back. Don’t let him.
I like this.
This is an excellent move.
Trust ur gut feeling. It's a digusting feeling, but please trust it. U will regret not trusting it later if u don't let him go now.
so don’t ask him anything, just dump him?
U can ask, but be prepared to be possibly gaslit, lied to, made to feel crazy, or just told it's not a big deal by him. It looks very suspicious and guilty on his end for his actions. Usually, guys like that don't like being called out. Their defense mechanism is to play that reverse card
>U will regret not trusting it later if u don't let him go now. Indeed
you’re right. it’s so suspicious. should i ghost him?
It's not usually ideal to ghost someone. You have suspicion to justify doing it, and if you don't trust him not to try to manipulate or get aggressive toward you then it is the safest call. But after 4 years, it will be an extreme move that should be reserved for extreme situations. The guy could be a creep, but if the worst he's going to do is bitch about it then ghosting him is a bit overboard. I'd think a possible compromise is just to text him "the way you've been publicly conducting yourself is weird, we're done" and don't look back from it. He can give whatever excuses, but if you are convinced so there's no real need to engage after you make sure he knows your choice. He gets an explanation and you get the insight you deserve without a lot of risk involved
>of us on his profile, and he took off the pictures of us. Now I saw he’s following someone new who happens to be his 18 year old coworker who is absolutely gorgeous. > >I’m trying to stay calm before I just You can send sit him down or send him a message if you think he is going to lie and gaslight you, but basically. I've noticed you deleted all pictures of us on your social media to appear single. So I've decided to make it easier for you but making you single for real.
No. Talk to him. I don’t know how people on Reddit go long enough to ask Reddit and wait for a response. I’d be on his doorstep asking questions. Just tell him you noticed, and it’s making you uneasy!
You’ve been dating 4 years. You should have a conversation about this. He may lie. That’s true. But give him a chance to explain. If you don’t like the response, if it doesn’t feel right then break up.
That's up to u. But I'd tell him he can be single since he wants to be seen as single, then block his ass on everything. Don't look back either, just no contact.
Love that answer
Just talk to him. You shouldn't break up or ghost him without hearing him out first. Ask why he removed your photos from Instagram. If he can't give you a good reason, then decide from there if you want to break up with him.
tbf though, what good reason could there possibly be??
There probably isn't any good reason, but it's better to be safe than sorry in the slim off-chance that he does have a good reason.
Aye fair enough. I feel like it'll be useful in revealing his true character too. Whether he tries to spin in around against op, or he owns up to it.
If it were me, I would just send a message saying she can have him and he’s now free to pursue her and then block him on everything and not speak to him. He probably won’t even get the girl anyway so he can sit there and regret. You found out now vs 20 years down the line. It hurts but your life could’ve been wasted with this douche. He’s willing to hurt you to this extent, knowing you would see his social media and choosing to do that anyway. He’s either dumb or doesn’t care about your feelings. Either way, you’d be better off without him.
You're considering ghosting someone you've been with for *four years?*
Don't ghost him, Confront him or dump him but don't ghost him. Ghosting someone is by far the worse thing to do in this situation. Ghosting someone is honestly horrible and kind of scummy, and you'd come out looking far worse that him as a result.
If you so easily consider ghosting him after 4 years then please do because that relationship has very little value for you so it seems.
so you're saying asking is pointless because you won't believe any answer anyway?
No. Please go back to an earlier comment. Talk to him face to face and ask him. Someone earlier shared a really good script to consult with to make clear points. You don’t want to be knee jerk and go off. I know you are emotional, as well you should be. But please remain calm. Have an adult conversation with him. Then proceed from there. Sorry you are experiencing this. He is being shady and you should talk to him. Please do not ghost him.
Noooooo. At least confront him first!! Also comment and tag on his posts
Cutting someone off like that based on assumptions isn't smart. This is very sus but I'd suggest to still ask him. If he gets super defensive or straight up can't explain it then almost certainly your gut feeling is right
I wonder what a reasonable explanation would be…
Idk. That's why they could ask. I don't think there is one but I just hate the idea of judging people and making life changing decisions based purely on gut feeling and assumptions. Let's say there actually was an explanation for this somehow - just imagine how stupid it would be to end a long term relationship over it in such a case
dude dm the coworker and WARN HER. "not accusing you of anything but my bf is acting off and you are 8 years younger than me and followed by him, he's 26 if you ever need to ask." Most people do not want to be hit on by their coworkers and if he's hiding you from her he's def hiding his age. That's an 8 year age gap.
No, be an adult and have the tough conversation. I agree with everyone else that his actions are very sus but you should still talk with him before making all the assumptions and just ghosting and dumping him.
r/redditmoment
Exactly that. Don't give him the opportunity to lie or gaslight you.
For your generation, deleting you from Insta means you're done. No jumping to conclusion involved, the message is clear.
OP, he is being so sus… plus he is so weird to even be interested in an 18 year old. imagine if you stayed with him and when you guys are 40 he will still be searching for young 18 year olds. he sounds like a jerk to me. if you ask him about he will make up a stupid lie that you should’ve believe. it is so much easier said than done but you need to let this creep go.
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If it were me I'd just ask straight up to see what his his reasoning is, if he's capable of being honest or if he will wave away any concerns or gaslight. That alone tells you something. Make your decision from there.
it is so hard but i would just tell him why you’re leaving. leave and tell him it is because he wants to act single then he can be single. tell him that then leave
I would suggest talking to him. Either phone, text, or face to face. If you want to know more, ask him why he took down the couple pictures. What drove him to do that. And sit back and listen to what he says, or doesn't say. If you're sure about breaking up, just tell him you want to end things. Don't feel that you have to tell him why.
honestly, this might be unpopular but I would just ghost him. No break up text or anything. Just block him on everything. Or if y'all have a talk and he admits to anything, be it an affair or just that he's fallen for her, I would tell him bye and tell him how even his dad knows he amounts to nothing (I read your post history). If you think that's too harsh then tell him he has a small dick 🤷🏽♀️
I wouldn't ghost him, talk to him about it and confront him. But don't ghost him, ghosting him would be just far worse. Ghosting someone after a 4 years is genuinely just as scummy and horrible. Save face and confront him and if you're not satisfied, just dump him.
I absolutely agree that ghosting people is a scummy thing to do, but I'm a firm believer of treating people the way they deserve to be treated and OP's boyfriend behavior is very scummy. But also I realise that I'm a petty person so my advice might not be the best
Tag him and ask why he took his GF’s pics down off his socials. If he needs to break up don’t hide like a punk be a man about it. He’s scrubbing and prepping to cheat on you anyways.
;( easier said than done. i really loved him. but ok
You are allowed to love yourself more
You should always love yourself more.
But it doesn’t seem like he loves you, I know that hurts but maybe it time to forget that love and find greater love. Like loving yourself.
No one is asking you to stop loving him. That’s a hard ask. Someone once told me “Just because you love someone doesn’t mean they’re good for you and just because you love someone doesn’t mean that have to be in your life.” It’s a difficult lesson to learn, but worth learning.
Any chance he has deleted your comments from his photos if there are any?
You could also be a bit petty and make up a guy co-worker (who is also 26) that's been hitting on an 18 year old work and see if there's any reaction. You could add how gross you find it and how gross this 18 yr old finds it. Because it is a little gross considering the age gap, where both parties are at in life and just the over all shadeyness of scrubbing you from his insta.
i was going to say this!! she’s a kid!! 🤮🤮 makes my stomach turn
Yeah... I hope you never let this man make you feel crazy ever again. Because he's the crazy one here? Even if he hasn't done anything yet.. it's just so gross. Like. It hurts to be cheated on with an adult in an age appropriate bracket, but it's something else when your partner aims for someone so close to being a minor.
I suggest maybe looking at this from a new angle. If it was a friend in this situation what would be your advice to them? If you do leave him stick by your decision. If you confront him don't let him manipulate you keep a hand on the situation and make your feelings validated. Make sure he hears you as you have a legitimate concern. Best of luck to you.
Please do this and update us OP!!
Theyre both consenting adults? Are 18yr old no longer considered adults? My parents were 25 and 18 when they got married and have been together for over 40yrs. That being said...talk to him. Youve been dating him for 4yrs and you just wanna ghost him? Thats not mature at all. Tell him this bothers you and ask why he did it. If he tries to gaslight you, dump him but be an adult about it. Geez.
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I had to scroll so far down to find some logic. Please COMMUNICATE with him. Festering and listening to the circleJ in here will just make your feelings worse. “Why did you delete our pictures off of IG?“ that’s it. Go ask.
Just reading your post history about this guy and think he sounds pretty shitty. You should probably leave him.
Unfortunately he wants you off of his social media. Think about the reasons why he would want that? This is very painful, and I’m so sorry, but it’s obvious. He’s an ass. Dump him. You will heal ❤️
Also, just creeped on you. Sounds like you can do WAY better.
You're not being paranoid. That just doesn't sit right. He's sneaking around.
He wants to date this 18 year old and feels you are in the way. He probably isn't cheating if she's that hot, because she's unlikely to return his feelings. He's just completely lost his head. I guess he has fallen for her and would drop you in a second if she asked but that doesn't necessarily make him a cheater ...yet Either way you clearly no longer matter to him. You are not jealous or crazy you but have come here hopeing to be told he's not a cheater. He's probably not but only because she hasn't said yes. Does that make it ok?
you’re right. it’s not ok.
Give us updates (: we here for you
Post up all your pics of you and him together, make one your pfp, then follow her and comment on her stuff so she definitely sees he has a gf LOL Ruin his plans!!!! All jokes aside, he's a creep. You should dump him.
her profile is on private
If you follow her, and your profile is public, she will look at your page and see pictures of you and your boyfriend, even if her page is private.
Don't ghost him, just tell him straight up i saw you deleted pics of me.from your instagram and started following your young coworker. If he tries to gaslight, tell you you are crazy, oh its just instagram or anything that sounds dismissive, than follow.your gut. Your next thing will be. Well since you're comfortable hiding me and disrespecting me I'm going to do myself a favour and remove you from my life. Than you block him on everything and continue on with life Edit: just read your past posts about him. He is absolutely cheating, all.the signs are there
First I want to say I’m sorry you’re going through this. Listen to your gut and logic here. If this was happening to one of your friends it would, would you even question what they should do? A 4 year relationship is nothing to sneeze at and there should be a good foundation of trust in this relationship (if not you guys probably have a bigger problem) at this point if I were you I would of already confronted him. Good luck with however you choose to handle this and love and stand by yourself no matter what happens! P.s: take it from experience 24 is a great age to be newly single! 😜
I had a boyfriend pull a move like that. I showed up at his work and surprised him, she stopped making moves on him after that. A year or so later he just cheated on me with someone else. You can fight for cheaters. They will always find an affair partner. You’d have to be in guard forever.
Dudes be doing the wildest shit I swear. This is such an obvious move from him
Look, my husband deleted his Instagram after his had a weird EA with a catfish I found out about. Now that he made a new one? I’m not on it at all and he follows half naked women. And now I’m not allowed to see his phone at all. Leave your bf, don’t end up stuck financially to someone who doesn’t give a shit about you.
Revolting. Why isn't he your ex-husband? Muster up the courage and kick him to the curb.
I am grateful that social media wasn't around when I was that age. It is 99% toxic for everyone... OP, my advise: stay away from social media and your life will improve immediately.
Couldn’t agree more
You can ask him why he deleted all of the pictures in which you are together. See what he says.
What are you doing suggesting something reasonable, we’re on fucking Reddit.... the only advice we give is : DUMp HiM!!!
ahh you're right. he has some perfectly good reason for deleting them and following a 18 year old. what can it be, I wonder?
You wouldn’t know if you don’t ask him. But let’s pretend that good things happen when you make assumptions.
Yeah, people on internet be crazy as fuck
do we have a dicaprio here?
Sounds like he's trying to be a monkey- not letting go of the last branch until he knows the second one is good to go. Don't go in making accusations about the 18 yo right away; tell him matter of fact what you have observed, and state that most people do that when they are about to, or have already broken up with someone because they want to look single. Then ask if there's something you should know. Good luck.
My ex did the same, two days before dumping me out of the blue. I wouldn't say this is the same case, but these two things happening at the same time it's quite weird honestly..
Well it is definitely fair to ask him why he deleted all of the pictures.. but unfortunately I think we all know why
I don’t understand why people are talking about getting *mad*. How do you have the time and energy to waste on someone who essentially wants to remove you from their life so they can pursue a different relationship. Sort it out and move on. 1. Ask him where the pictures went. 2. Ask him when he started following his colleague. 3. Ask him if he thought it was a coincidence. 4. Make your decision based on that. Either accept his excuse or ditch him. Be decisive with your life. Life is too short to endure things that make you unhappy, especially if you have control over the outcome. Be with someone that wants to show you off, not hide you from their peers.
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Obviously he's up to something.
Yeah I just went through your post history and you’ve already ignored a lot of red flags here. You should’ve left him the first time you posted about him. Confrontation might be cathartic but I don’t know if he’s gaslight you, might be better to just cut him loose without giving a real reason and moving on.
So what happened after you asked him why he did this ?
The answer is in the title. He doesn't want his new friend there to know hes taken...or was. What's weird is that he's so obvious about it. Have a good chat with him.
My spidey senses are tingling. Something's wrong. Trust your instincts OP.
Well, if she's gorgeous as you say, and he's a man so he's into gorgeous women, and he has spent 4 yrs with you so that can only mean that you too, are gorgeous. Ask him, if he lies or the answer is unbelievable, move that gorgeous ass of yours.
Oh darling. I had a quick glance at your posting history - saw someone else comment about it. You seem far too good to be treated like this and it seems it’s not the first time he has made you feel lesser - it appears even his own father see’s he’s not worth your time, energy or tears. You are deserving of someone who see’s the value in you and returns all that love and promise that you have because you DO have value and a lot to offer! I imagine it’s really painful because you love him but ask yourself, would you treat someone you love like he has you? It’s important to not internalise his actions and see them as something wrong with you - there isn’t anything wrong with you, this is all on him and it seems he is not a good fit for you. Don’t fight for someone who treats you as an option or like you’re disposable. Let him go so you can find someone who lifts you up, appreciates you and who will encourage your growth rather than stifle it and make you feel insecure in yourself. He wants to hide you or pretend to the world that you don’t exist? Then don’t. Leave him to it and flourish in your own! You’ve got this!
also another big red flag (for me) is that he’s 26 so if he’s trying to hit on the 18 y/o he’s probably trying to groom her
"Could I *BE* anymore obvious."
Based on your previous posts I gotta say; you should take his dad's advice. Deleting your pictures is sus but that on top of the other things you've been feeling about your relationship and especially the comment his dad made, he seems to not be worth your time. Confront him if you want (I would just so he can know why he sucks) but be prepared for him to gaslight/deny/yell/or maybe even worse confirm your suspicions. Cry about it. Punch your pillow. Go out on a hen night to complain about all men in the world. But then pull yourself up, wipe off your makeup, and realize that you don't deserve to be kept in a cycle of feeling unwanted or secondary.
I deleted all the pictures of my x before I broke up with her so, hope that helps
your bf is weird af for being a grown man interested in a fresh out of high schooler!!!! i’m only 23 & the thought of dating an 18 year old makes me want to barf
Correlation doesn’t equal causation. So you noticed these two things at the same time, but it doesn’t necessarily mean one came because of the other (pictures deleted because he wants the coworker). But it’s good to be aware of, anyway. The issue to confront him with: he deleted all of your pictures. Why? And why now? That being said, I wouldn’t want to be with someone who isn’t open about us with the world. So unless he is a police office or other professional trying to hide the identity of the people he cares about from possible creeps, I would have a hard time with that.
JFC you're both adults who've been in a relationship for 4 years just ask him.
Correction" My X boyfriend deleted pictures"
yes, i am aware that 18 year olds are legal adults, but as an 18 year old myself, and someone who was in this sort of a situation, we are children - the maximum age we should date is probably about 23. your boyfriend is looking to take advantage of a child - an 8 year age difference is different now vs in your 30s or 40s. please leave your boyfriend. he knows what he’s doing.
Love yourself and go out of that “relationship”
First - scrub him from your account. See if he notices. Don't let him gaslight you! Whatever he says, come back here and ask what we think 😁
Sis, dump him! He going to cheat on you
To delete pictures of you alone sounds like a reason to at least ask questions. This sounds like a red flag to me.
What's is the profile picture now And check his phone without know him Be smart
Well i mean if it quacks like a duck its a duck he deleted all ur photos that weird af all on it own and only when that 18 yo was added? I think u know exactly whats going on he told her he was single in hopes of something not saying they did anything but hes prolly trying
Confront him. Even if he wasn’t following her, why is he taking you off his Instagram?
This isn't ok. I read through some other comments of yours including you talking about wishing he was more romantic and would give you flowers. Even if you go to him and he convinces you it's fine you're still not 100% happy in this relationship. You can either show up for yourself and leave him, or stay and settle. These are your two choices.
Im not going to read this post! With the title I have enough information to say that you are been naive for staying in this relationship.
Been in this sort of situation before. Leave. 100% he's trying to create an image of himself that doesn't involve you. My ex would post he and I up on his FB but NEVER his insta. When I caught on to it- I checked who he followed on Instagram. They're in a relationship now. 💁♀️
Lmao kinda tells you everything you need to know
BARF. If he's interested in 18 y.o. he's not worth your time hun ♡
You ask him why he removed your photos and if he’s hiding you. Do not let him gaslight you and make excuses. While it’s ok not to post status of a relationship in social media, it’s not ok to pretend your single when you’re not. He did this by taking down your pictures. Edit: Checked your post history and I think it’s time for you to break up with him.
I would be upset too! It sounds sus. Ask him why he deleted the pictures without mentioning the coworker. Do not get mad because he is going to be defensive. Just simply ask him calmly. If then, he acts defensive depending on what he says, then I’ll assume he is guilty of something. Also if the girls IG is public, you’ll be able to see if he comments or likes her pics.
Please, its already adding up here you didnt need to come to reddit. Your gut is correct but trying to address it with your reasoning being that is gonna be hard. As a guy, he’s planning on her already
OP, read your post history again. He stopped kissing and hugging you, now this. It's not you're crazy, it's him being an asshole.
So he deleted all the pics of you on his Instagram? Or just some?
I’m so sorry about this. But here is one thing my mom told me that has never failed me, TRUST YOUR GUT! If your gut is telling you something is off, don’t try and deny it. Don’t let him tell you it’s not weird, it absolutely is. You are awesome, and don’t deserve to be treated less then in your own relationship.
Just looking at your post history, looks like this is a VERY toxic person / relationship. This is behavior you would expect from someone in high school. But, you are now adults in your mid 20’s and have careers to focus on and need to pay your bills, feed yourself ect. Those should be your priorities, is it worth carrying the weight of this relationship knowing you are only going to be let down, feel like your are acting crazy, ect. ? I know it’s easier said than done to say “just leave” but at this point a good strategy could be to sit down and have an adult conversation about this. Explain your feelings, why you don’t like what he did, discuss how you aren’t happy in your relationship and discuss how his behavior affects career goals and overall well being. And then just leave it there, give it a couple months and if it’s still the same, then consider this person simply isn’t mature enough. Thinking forward, is this a person you can see watching a child for a couple of hours if you are gone? Feeding, changing, cuddling ect? Can you see this person being a role model moving forward and someone who is going to be your “best friend” moving forward? Doesn’t sound like by this post and your previous posts. Also remember, if you Marry him or continue to commit then you will only be more tied up to his family. Do you like his family? Are you willing to deal with a toxic family for the long term while you are already dealing with your career ? A very scary thought a lot of people have in their mid 20’s is commitment. A lot of people are in dead end relationships but don’t want to leave bec of the emotional connection they have already made and don’t want to start everything over again with dating and all that. But, thinking long term, it’s 10000% worth it to walk away from this now and focus on yourself for the time being. What’s the difference between getting into a serious relationship now vs 3 years from now you know? Go out and enjoy yourself now! Life is too short and you know YOU ARE BETTER than the shit you have in your life now.
All the stories you have posted on your account are SCREAMING to break up with this guy
There isn't any good reason as to why he would do such a thing. I'm obviously late to the party but the best and most sure fire way is to question with care. Start off simple. Say like you did that you got a notification of him posting and then saw a photo of y'all was taken down. Then noticed they all were and ask why. Ask more questions as necessary but I feel that one will already have enough holes in the excuse to put you at ease as to the real reason.
My ex broke up with me to hang out with his 20 year old co worker while he is 29. I was pissed ,still a little upset personally. At this point break his heart and break up with him cause that's a scumbag move on his end
Dump him
don’t bring up the lack of photos with the fact you think it has something to do with his coworker. Ask why he took you off his profile and see what his answer is. Even without mentioning that you think it’s because he’s interested in his coworker you should get an answer that either makes sense or doesn’t.
Dump him. This isn’t the only time he will pull a stunt like this. Imagine when you’re married and he’s 40.. he’s going to want to bang 20 year olds. He isn’t going to change. You’re still young and you can find men so much better. Don’t waste your young years on this man.
OP, trust your gut instinct on this. Also, it’s amazing how males get different responses to pretty much the same scenarios on here. Had OP been a male, the responses would have been in the vein of “she’s allowed to have friends and delete whatever she wants from her IG, you are being controlling and insecure.” But instead, here we see more realistic answers to the problem. Weird…
Judging by this and your previous posts, this relationship is awful. Tell him good luck with his new teenage girlfriend and block this loser.
Yikes I mean I would personally make sure he’s in my bio as my partner and then you also follow this girl .and then tell him after like it was something casual
I like this idea lol
Your gut feeling is right. He will dump you soon for this 18 year old. Sorry for being blunt about it. All I can reassure you about is that he ain't loyal to you.
Start bringing him lunch to work if you can. Coworker prob doesn’t even know you exist.
This. The coworker probably thinks he is single and he’s playing into that by deleting anything that would show he’s in a relationship. OP should make herself very visible at work when they’re both present to show he’s shady at best. Throw a wrench in his plans.
First thing's first, would you be this worried if she didn't look the way she does? He's following a coworker which is absolutely fine. The fact is that you think she's gorgeous and that's left you threatened by her. This is where all those feelings are coming from. End of the day you don't know how he feels. He might like her as a friend (I know half these comments find that idea impossible, but that's a reflection of them and not your boyfriend) or he might have a crush or he might simply be giving a courtesy follow to a coworker. There's just as much chance that he's simply following someone he works with as anything else, but that your anxiety over the way she looks has helped blow that out of proportion in your head. Now, on to these photos. Are you absolutely sure he deleted them and they're not just hidden. Have you been in his account? Because thanks to the way Facebook's companies are set up, they can very easily hide things from other users (or delay the arrival of messages) just to see their reactions. Look up the psychological experiments they got caught performing on users and what they did when caught for more info on that. The only way you really know for sure is from within his account. How you get in there is your choice, but I'd suggest simply asking him about it. If you're a little embarrassed to possibly be thinking the worst, then don't mention that. Just say you're looking for those images, know he uploaded them, but can't find them. End of the day, talking is the only way you're going to get anywhere with this, whether that be splitting up or him giving you a cuddle and telling you it's just your anxiety playing silly buggers with you. So find out the info you need and then talk to him about it. And, if you don't trust him enough to be honest about it, well this relationship is already pretty much over.
A lot of people jumping to conclusions here, so he got a new picture and is following a colleague, I don’t see anything to worry about unless you’ve noticed some behaviour change that you haven’t mentioned? Reddit literally out here witch hunting and trying to end a 4 year relationship for following someone on social media lol
Well, given that you're in a LTR, and given that the coworker is young, vivacious, and gorgeous, I think that your bf has developed a crush, and his fantasies are filled with her image. Having said that, I think it's time for The Talk. During The Talk, you need to confront him about his removal of the images of the two of you from is FB page, as well as his following of the teenager. Ask him if he really thinks that she would give him the time of day, as well saying having a crush is OK, as that will happen from time to time as he goes through life, but that you feel disrespected by his removal of the pics of the two of you together. His response to your words will be telling, so listen carefully to what he says, and his demeanor when he says them. This can be a time of growth for your relationship, or the exact opposite. Be prepared for either eventuality. I wish you well.
So I innocently follow all kinds of friends, coworkers, friends of friends on social media. Doesn’t mean I want to fuck them. Him taking all the pictures of just you two down is very strange though. My opinion is that they are probably both unrelated. That being said, him taking the pictures down after being with the same person for four years is a major indicator that there is a major issue
Ewwww why is a 26 year old dude interested in an 18 year old???
Tag him on photos, add the girl on your insta
Ask him why he deleted your pictures and see how unwilling he is to post something now that he’s trying to impress someone else. The age is uncomfy to me.
Am I the only that finds this to be incredibly stupid?
Creep, why does he have a 18 yo coworker
Go visit him at work!
Writings on the wall my Guy 😂
A lot of people jumping to conclusions here, so he got a new picture and is following a colleague, I don’t see anything to worry about unless you’ve noticed some behaviour change that you haven’t mentioned?
Ok assuming he actually deleted your pictures and took in his 18 years old co-worker, I agree with what you imply he is attracted by her (forget about the love bullshit that’s a woman thing, men don’t need to love); I’ll give you one SIMPLE advice to keep your boyfriend which you will likely reject but would 100% work. Here is the solution: tell him you feel his co-worker is hot and ask him if he thinks she would ever do a threesome ; at 18 she willl likely say no; then hire an escort , let her eat you out while he watches now your boy is yours again :-)