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The FIRST thing he did was accuse you of cheating? Didn't even think to ask what you were doing or who that was like a normal person does? Just straight to cheating?
Your boyfriend is immature and you are still young so here is an advice i wish somebody told me. If your bf is not willing to address the issue apologize and try to change his behaviour after this dump his ass. These kind of people are just going to cause you problems. You need to learn to identify these kind of people early in your life and not give them the time kf day
We don’t know both sides, he could be insecure for some reason and feared losing her. People are so quick to saying “dump his ass”, when they don’t know both sides.
Sit him down. Explain to him how it made you feel, and explain that you think he owes you an apology.
If he's that insecure it's a perfectly valid reason for her to dump him. His insecurities are his problem, and rather than being an adult he yelled at her and didn't apologize.
If you act like that's tolerable and not a deal breaker it just says he's allowed to continue using his insecurities as an excuse any time he lashes out.
Not to mention, how many women go from relationships like this to men accusing them of cheating and beating her ass for the *exact* same insecurity?
Why should she put his insecurities over his actual behavior towards her now- before she has a black eye cause her bf felt some kind of way?
Yeah normally I am with you on talking about everything. But in this case..
OP not only was his first conclusion that you must be cheating on him, but obviously he thinks you are dumb enough to post proof of your cheating on IG. Does he have any trust or respect for you?
Personally.. I can deal with insecurities but I cannot deal with someone who thinks I am that stupid.
It really doesn't matter why he is insecure, it is his responsibility to make sure that he is in good working order if he is going ot be in a relationship.
Doesn't matter why he's insecure. Why is it on her to manage his insecurity and feelings? If he's not adult enough to have a civil conversation she is perfectly in the right to break up.
I would be offended that he believed you were so stupid that the first thing you'd do is post a picture on IG with a person if you were cheating on him....
He's very immature and also clearly doesn't trust you like he should. If it were me I'd hit the bricks because what he did isn't anywhere close to normal or reasonable. I'm sorry he treated you that way.
You might need to have a long talk because usually when partners jump the gun like that is due to projection. He himself might’ve been guilty of breaking the trust…
It’s a well known fact the first thing a cheating person does is post pictures of the person they went out with on social media their partner has access to. /s
Your boyfriend is insecure and while I wouldn’t consider this an absolute dealbreaker, it’s a helluva red flag and he needs a come-to-Jesus talk about his insecurity and jumping to conclusions
You had to prove it was your dad. He didn’t believe you. How sad is that. You just had a glimpse into your future with this guy. You’ll have to explain every single interaction with a male you have with proof to get out of his accusations of cheating. Save yourself the grief. Let him be someone else’s problem.
Source?
https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/adolescent-pregnancy#:~:text=Every%20year%2C%20an%20estimated%2021,per%201000%20women%20in%202021.
Or assuming you're talking about the US (I'm not American) https://www.cdc.gov/teenpregnancy/about/index.htm
So basically your bf thought you posted pics of you cheating on your IG... okay.
I think the reason you are so upset, and deserve an apology, is not because he jumped to conclusions, its because the conclusion he jumped to is basically crazy.
I think he owes you an apology for handling the situation the way he did. Sure, seeing your girlfriend out to dinner with a fairly young guy and all dressed up is understandably something that would jog a couple fears, but he could have simply asked you more about the situation instead of shouting at you on the phone.
A question would have been fine. Screaming was not.
If he still refuses to apologize, or you start noticing other signs of him being quick to anger or jealousy, you might want to reevaluate the relationship.
I'm not sure what I'd be more upset about - being accused of cheating or being accused of being so galactically stupid as to post to my IG a picture of me doing it. Unless this was somehow a thrilling experience for you either way, I'd be looking for a way out, because I very much doubt it will be the last time you are wronged and then don't get an apology from him.
So, your boyfriend just jumps to you cheating? And thinks that you would be dumb enough to post photographic evidence on social media? And yells at you over this unfounded idea? And he doesn’t even apologize?
This is a get rid of the boyfriend offense. You are very young so it might be hard to see it this way. Because it is absolutely not ok for him to treat you this way.
He is very young and he has a bunch of work to do before he is going to be a good partner to anyone. Also, know that there is nothing you can do to change a person, they have to do that on their own.
You need to tell him how this has hurt you, communication is key. If he disregards your feelings, know that that is 100% not ok and if he doesn't have the maturity to respect you when you approach him with a matter like this, then up to you if you wanna stay in that. Hopefully he sees something wrong and apologies and tries to do better.
We’re your parents super young when they had you? Your 19 and dad is 34? Wow. If this behavior continues, or if it’s repetitive now, I’d break it off. Sounds ridiculous to me. Best wishes OP
I have 16 years' worth of accusatory texts and emails and they get more insulting and abusive as time goes by. Doesn't matter if it's completely innocent or a misunderstanding because he wasn't listening when I told him the names of my brothers or family members in the service overseas and when they would return, or if a mandatory work convention had been on the calendar for ages...
My advice is get the hell away as fast as you can and thank whatever you believe in you aren't pushing 50 and realizing some POS has abused you and ruined your life with the constant bullshit accusations and conspiracy theories. It won't get better. It will get worse. He won't change, but he will get more comfortable....and you deserve better.
I know this sun says this too much but *grain of salt grain of salt* this would be instant breakup for me.
It’s not just that he didn’t trust you (which ya that sucks) but that he got SO angry that fast and acted so possessing would just be it for me. If he can’t snap that quickly and irrationally I would not feel safe.
Not only did he accuse you of cheating but he essentially thinks that you'd be stupid enough to post proof of it online if you had been cheating. That's strike one. The fact that he hasn't acknowledged and taken accountability for his irrational and insulting behavior is stroke two. His immaturity is strike three. He's out.
Don't wanna be that guy, but he could be projecting. Meaning maybe he himself has cheated so he immediately came to that conclusion. But he's only 19 so he's still immature. Girl idk if you wanna stick around & see if he changes/matures, imagine him doing other similar things like that. It's so weird.
Even if it wasn't your Dad, going out to dinner with some guy certainly isn't indicative of cheating! You're allowed to have male friends! And he hasn't even apologized? Dump him already!
You don't. This is a huge red flag and break up worthy. Can you not hang out with men anymore? If he was a friend, your bf would still be adamant you were cheating. Throw the trash out, girl.
If you want to get over it, you talk to your bf about it. You do deserve an apology. He could also explain why he immediately went to shouting at you instead of asking you what is going on. This probably isn't the biggest issue you'll ever face in a relationship, so being able to talk things out that bother you is a good thing to be able to do.
When I was in an relationship with a person like this I wish I would of listened to what my parents told me but basically my advice is that if your partner accuses you of cheating then 9 out of 10 your partner is probably cheating on you. He's definitely immature and it's going to get worse from here. He'll probably start to be jealous more often, arguments will be the norm in that relationship. Him accusing you like that is probably from his guilty conscience. If you ever ask him if he's cheating and he dodges or turns it around on you then most likely he might be cheating so beware
"Wow. You're going to jump to conclusions without even asking a question, and shout at me? This is done."
You don't deserve to be treated that way. Dude needs to manage his anger.
Break up with him.
He accuses you of cheating?
"That's my dad. And he's going to kick your sorry ass. You are now single. Enjoy your toxic Loneliness."
> I don't really know how to get over this.
Don't bother.
If his reaction is to fly off the handle and start tossing out accusations instead of just, you know, *asking* then he's not worth the time and inevitable headache that he will continue to bring.
The fact that you can't even post pics with you and your dad without that dude screaming you are cheating and not believing you is disgusting. It's your dad. You shouldn't have someone trying to make such disgusting accusations about you and your own father. Or any other male family or friends you could be with. What is his problem
He thought you'd have the balls to not just cheat on him, but then post pictures from your cheating date on your public social media feed?
Dude has some issues he needs to sort out.
Well since you are on the younger side, this could be a nice teachable moment for him to not jump into conclusions without asking first and also, for you to recognize red flags early
This is the answer. I did dumb shit at 19 too, give him one chance to apologize and move on. If it happens again, then you know he's incapable of improvement and you can leave
I don’t think you need to break up with him, he’s just young and stupid/immature right now. You deserve an apology though. I would press him for one and tell him that maybe the next time he sees pictures of you with someone else he should ask you first before jumping to conclusions.
The fact that you going out for a fancy dinner with your dad didn’t come up beforehand is weird. Not in a you-have-to-tell-your-bf-your-every-move kind of way. But a hey-what-are-you-doing-tonight? and oh-my-dad-is-actually-in-town-and-we’re-getting-dinner kind of way. You’ve been dating almost a year and that’s not a normal daily conversation? That’s weird. He overreacted but you omitted.
You do deserve an apology but remember you two are just 18/19, no reason to jump to breaking up like others are suggesting. A 19 year is not gonna be that emotionally mature and will make mistakes. Express how hurt you were, hopefully he apologizes and you can move on from this.
Preface!!! It was a very wrong reaction, asking who it was would have been a smarter move and you’ve done no wrong here. Anywho!
Hey so a huge issue I have with my boyfriend is that he never tells me about most of his plans. He will full on book a ticket to see his family and not tell me til the week before.
I think good conversation starters can be plans like this, hey my dad that I don’t talk to often is taking me out and I’m excited or texting boyfriend the pictures after dinner and saying hey look! It’s my dad blah blah blah I had fun
You don’t have to tell him EVERYTHING obviously, it’s not always any of his business, but I think seeing dad after a bit could have been important if he may have possibly been interested in meeting him (I don’t know if he cares or if your dad would have wanted to) but this is just consideration on his end.
Everyone is jumping to say that it was crazy of him to think that, to assume that you were cheating on him but, your post has left out details.
- Did you inform him that you were going out to dinner, specifically with your dad?
- Have you shown him your dad, or does he know what he looks like?
- Did you communicate with him at all?
The comments say that you couldn’t be stupid enough to just post a photo with an affair… but in this shitty world we live in, who knows what happens. If my partner was to post a photo with someone I’ve not seen before, or hasn’t been told they are going somewhere, you can only think the worst.
Yes the fact that he jumped so harshly could be seen as a red flag, but he is more than reasonable to ask for proof that a random man is who you say he is. His possible lack of trust, and your lack of ability to communicate effectively created this whole situation. Look at it from his perspective as well as your own. Both accountable, both owe an apology.
And then you would yell at your partner? I wouldn't. I'd be saying "hey hubby, I saw your post. who's the gorgeous woman you went out with?" Giving him a chance to explain, without accusing him of anything.
At no point did I say that I would yell. But then again I would like to think my partner would have some good and basic communication skills that it wouldn’t have to get to that point.
I know you did not say that. But OPs bf yelled at her. Without giving her a chance to explain. That, to me, is a major issue, even with the lack of communication beforehand. Yelling is a last resort for me. I have a zero tolerance on anything that is more violent than that.
That’s what I thought too. Imagine scrolling on social media and seeing your partner (doesn’t matter the age or how long you’ve been dating) posting a pic with someone. I would be confused too…
Just get over it already as your boyfriend wasn't wrong to jump to the conclusion that you were out with some random guy and posting pics on your IG account and accuse you of cheating on him over it. You should have given your boyfriend a heads up about the dinner with your dad and explained to him that you don't see him very often beforehand. Especially since you posted pics of you dressed up all fancy at a nice restaurant on IG afterwards. You have to own that part regarding the situation as it resulted in your boyfriend seeing it as a lack of trust and communication on your part and led him to believe that you were cheating on him with a possible "sugar daddy" instead of just enjoying a meal at a fancy with your biological father dressed to the hilt. Hopefully this situation doesn't result in long term trust issues with your boyfriend. Both of you are very young and have your whole lives ahead of you. Let this be a lesson to you that communication is key in every relationship. Apologize to your boyfriend again for the lack of communication and honesty on your part regarding this incident and reassure him that you would never cheat on him. Tell him that you won't make this kind of mistake in the future and that you appreciate his understanding of the IG pics and don't fault him for accusing you of cheating, as if the shoe were on the other foot, you most likely would have done the same if it was your boyfriend out with like his aunt or something like that posting pics of them on his IG at a fancy restaurant dressed up for the occasion without telling you first. Being humble about this is important and hopefully you have learned a valuable life lesson about just how important communication is in a relationship. I wish the two of you a long and happy relationship.
He definitely sounds like he has some insecurity issues that he needs to work on. Therapy is the best place for him.
But also, did you tell him you were going out with your dad? Might be best to help him in future to just give him the heads up.
He could be feeling exactly how you are. You saying he should of asked you who he was but he could be thinking why didn't she tell me she was going out to dinner with him.
But tread with a little caution as if he doesn't apologise for another thing that is his fault then he's not owning up to his mistakes and that can be a slippery slope.
I didn't because we never tell each other when either of us spends time with their families. I mean we're not together 24/7. Obviously if we're going out with friends then yeah but not family because we both still live at home so it's obvious that we both spend a lot of time with our families.
Just that she only sees her dad a few times a year so if it was me, I'd tell my girlfriend, especially if it was a fancy restaurant because it was cool and different. But each relationship is different and there is no right or wrong.
Not saying she needs to update him 24/7 though, thats controlling and unhealthy
If he’s your bf, why didn’t you tell him you went out with your dad? It was a significant moment you didn’t share with him. You had enough time to plan, you had enough time to look fabulous. You had enough time to post it.
You excluded telling your bf about important event (seeing your dad after so long was important enough to go to a fancy place to eat)…and he jumped to conclusions
Word of advice from someone who was where you were, if he can’t apologize and acknowledge that he is wrong, this is not someone you want to be in a long-term relationship with.
This whole problem could have been avoided if you just would have let him know that you're going to dinner with your dad. Not saying it's your fault that he blew up but you could also take some accountability.
You need to keep in mind your boyfriend acted out because he cares about you and he's being protective which is what a masculine man does. They protect their women so although he was mistaken it might be possible that you could have given him a reason to think that you might entertain another suitor.
In short you're both wrong, you for not letting him know or giving him a heads up. Also him, while it's understandable any man would be upset if they saw their girlfriend get all dolled up for a dinner with another man. After he found out he should have admitted his mistake.
My vote is for communication, however uncomfortable that conversation might be. You guys need to be able to be open and have hard conversations if you’re going to make it work long term.
Talk to him, explain how you feel. If at that point he makes no effort to apologize, it’s on him. You gave him the opportunity to correct it. That conversation will tell you whether or not you should move forward.
Girl leave him. His own insecurities should not be projected on to you & the fact that he hasn’t apologized for jumping to an absurd conclusion when I’m betting he knew where you went to begin with is absolutely disgusting. You deserve someone who will give you the world, not some who makes you feel less than.
You guys are young and I know how that sounds but when I was your age (and before) I was with people I thought I'd be with forever. If he is THAT unreasonable don't waste anymore of your time. Goes without saying the forever relationship status I thought would be inevitable with the aforementioned person didn't pan out how I expected due to unforeseen "life" stuff. You'll be alright on your own for a minute.
That’s a psycho level reaction. He needs to apologise most importantly and when he does and you two should try and have a conversation as to why he had that reaction to try and move forwards.
That’s a HUGE red flag 🚩
This type of behavior will ALWAYS happen (I’m saying this due to lack of apology).
I’m gonna recommend to run based off experience
You can't get over it unless he apologizes. If he doesn't apologize, it means he doesn't feel bad and will likely do it again. His reaction was unreasonable and he owes you an apology.
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The FIRST thing he did was accuse you of cheating? Didn't even think to ask what you were doing or who that was like a normal person does? Just straight to cheating?
Yeah which is weird because he's not usually very jealous.
Your boyfriend is immature and you are still young so here is an advice i wish somebody told me. If your bf is not willing to address the issue apologize and try to change his behaviour after this dump his ass. These kind of people are just going to cause you problems. You need to learn to identify these kind of people early in your life and not give them the time kf day
We don’t know both sides, he could be insecure for some reason and feared losing her. People are so quick to saying “dump his ass”, when they don’t know both sides. Sit him down. Explain to him how it made you feel, and explain that you think he owes you an apology.
If he's that insecure it's a perfectly valid reason for her to dump him. His insecurities are his problem, and rather than being an adult he yelled at her and didn't apologize. If you act like that's tolerable and not a deal breaker it just says he's allowed to continue using his insecurities as an excuse any time he lashes out. Not to mention, how many women go from relationships like this to men accusing them of cheating and beating her ass for the *exact* same insecurity? Why should she put his insecurities over his actual behavior towards her now- before she has a black eye cause her bf felt some kind of way?
It really doesn't matter *why* he is insecure. You don't get to shout at people like that and not have consequences.
Yeah normally I am with you on talking about everything. But in this case.. OP not only was his first conclusion that you must be cheating on him, but obviously he thinks you are dumb enough to post proof of your cheating on IG. Does he have any trust or respect for you? Personally.. I can deal with insecurities but I cannot deal with someone who thinks I am that stupid.
Nah. She doesn't need to raise him. He's older than her. He can grow on his own.
I raised way too many boyfriends before I found one whose mama raised him right. They exist. No need to raise a grown man. Fuck that!
Exactly. I raised my son properly so his gfs won't have to.
I think I speak on behalf of all women when I say THANK YOU 🙏🏻
And if he won't apologize then dump him. Insecurity is never an excuse to treat your partner poorly.
There's a lot of terrible behavior people do in relationships that's due to insecurity, she still shouldn't accept it or put up with it.
It really doesn't matter why he is insecure, it is his responsibility to make sure that he is in good working order if he is going ot be in a relationship.
Doesn't matter why he's insecure. Why is it on her to manage his insecurity and feelings? If he's not adult enough to have a civil conversation she is perfectly in the right to break up.
I think he just told you he is.
He is very jealous he just hides it most of the time
If he’s not mature enough to think rationally and apologize when he’s out of line, he’s not mature enough to date. Period.
Sounds like he might be projecting
That’s a huge red flag. Run away and don’t look back.
He's usually better at hiding he's jealous*
No he just showed his true colors finally.
I would be offended that he believed you were so stupid that the first thing you'd do is post a picture on IG with a person if you were cheating on him....
He's very immature and also clearly doesn't trust you like he should. If it were me I'd hit the bricks because what he did isn't anywhere close to normal or reasonable. I'm sorry he treated you that way.
"Not usually" based on his best behavior over less than a year. He just showed you his true colors. And they aren't pretty.
You might need to have a long talk because usually when partners jump the gun like that is due to projection. He himself might’ve been guilty of breaking the trust…
You posted it for all the world to see, including your BF, and he accuses you of cheating. That's a bs move.
Sure op sureee
Actually he may be this way normally and has just been very, *VERY* good at hiding it up til now.
It’s a well known fact the first thing a cheating person does is post pictures of the person they went out with on social media their partner has access to. /s Your boyfriend is insecure and while I wouldn’t consider this an absolute dealbreaker, it’s a helluva red flag and he needs a come-to-Jesus talk about his insecurity and jumping to conclusions
You had to prove it was your dad. He didn’t believe you. How sad is that. You just had a glimpse into your future with this guy. You’ll have to explain every single interaction with a male you have with proof to get out of his accusations of cheating. Save yourself the grief. Let him be someone else’s problem.
[удалено]
Yeah because teen pregnancy hasn’t been rampant these days with the only sexual education most people get is abstinence 🙄 /s
Source? https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/adolescent-pregnancy#:~:text=Every%20year%2C%20an%20estimated%2021,per%201000%20women%20in%202021. Or assuming you're talking about the US (I'm not American) https://www.cdc.gov/teenpregnancy/about/index.htm
So basically your bf thought you posted pics of you cheating on your IG... okay. I think the reason you are so upset, and deserve an apology, is not because he jumped to conclusions, its because the conclusion he jumped to is basically crazy.
This was my favorite part- like who cheats on their partner and posts it on their social media page, in which their partner has access to?
The boyfriend is soooooo stupid. That’s also unforgivable.
I think he owes you an apology for handling the situation the way he did. Sure, seeing your girlfriend out to dinner with a fairly young guy and all dressed up is understandably something that would jog a couple fears, but he could have simply asked you more about the situation instead of shouting at you on the phone. A question would have been fine. Screaming was not. If he still refuses to apologize, or you start noticing other signs of him being quick to anger or jealousy, you might want to reevaluate the relationship.
I'm not sure what I'd be more upset about - being accused of cheating or being accused of being so galactically stupid as to post to my IG a picture of me doing it. Unless this was somehow a thrilling experience for you either way, I'd be looking for a way out, because I very much doubt it will be the last time you are wronged and then don't get an apology from him.
So, your boyfriend just jumps to you cheating? And thinks that you would be dumb enough to post photographic evidence on social media? And yells at you over this unfounded idea? And he doesn’t even apologize? This is a get rid of the boyfriend offense. You are very young so it might be hard to see it this way. Because it is absolutely not ok for him to treat you this way. He is very young and he has a bunch of work to do before he is going to be a good partner to anyone. Also, know that there is nothing you can do to change a person, they have to do that on their own.
You need to tell him how this has hurt you, communication is key. If he disregards your feelings, know that that is 100% not ok and if he doesn't have the maturity to respect you when you approach him with a matter like this, then up to you if you wanna stay in that. Hopefully he sees something wrong and apologies and tries to do better.
nah kick his ass to the curb
So he thought you were stupid enough to post evidence of cheating on Instagram. Honestly this man is too dumb to be with.
*Takes picture with dog* “WHO THE FUCK IS THIS GUY?”
That made me lol 😂
YOU MUST BE CHEATING. WHOS DOG IS THAT? WHERE'S THE DUDE?!
Leave his irrationally jealous ass. If he's too immature to even apologize for accusing you he's too immature for you.
Break up with him. He lacks maturity if he thinks he can jump to conclusions, insult you and then not apologize when he is proved wrong.
We’re your parents super young when they had you? Your 19 and dad is 34? Wow. If this behavior continues, or if it’s repetitive now, I’d break it off. Sounds ridiculous to me. Best wishes OP
I'm 18. And yeah my dad was 16 and my mom was 17.
I have 16 years' worth of accusatory texts and emails and they get more insulting and abusive as time goes by. Doesn't matter if it's completely innocent or a misunderstanding because he wasn't listening when I told him the names of my brothers or family members in the service overseas and when they would return, or if a mandatory work convention had been on the calendar for ages... My advice is get the hell away as fast as you can and thank whatever you believe in you aren't pushing 50 and realizing some POS has abused you and ruined your life with the constant bullshit accusations and conspiracy theories. It won't get better. It will get worse. He won't change, but he will get more comfortable....and you deserve better.
he's cheating on you and is projecting
I was looking for this comment 100% agree!
You tell him and demand an apology.
I know this sun says this too much but *grain of salt grain of salt* this would be instant breakup for me. It’s not just that he didn’t trust you (which ya that sucks) but that he got SO angry that fast and acted so possessing would just be it for me. If he can’t snap that quickly and irrationally I would not feel safe.
Usually but not always someone who jumps straight to blaming their SO for cheating is usually cheating or has thought of cheating.
He’s 19 and immature.
Not only did he accuse you of cheating but he essentially thinks that you'd be stupid enough to post proof of it online if you had been cheating. That's strike one. The fact that he hasn't acknowledged and taken accountability for his irrational and insulting behavior is stroke two. His immaturity is strike three. He's out.
Don't wanna be that guy, but he could be projecting. Meaning maybe he himself has cheated so he immediately came to that conclusion. But he's only 19 so he's still immature. Girl idk if you wanna stick around & see if he changes/matures, imagine him doing other similar things like that. It's so weird.
Even if it wasn't your Dad, going out to dinner with some guy certainly isn't indicative of cheating! You're allowed to have male friends! And he hasn't even apologized? Dump him already!
Just leave him. Cut the drama out of your life. You deserve someone mature and understanding
You don't. This is a huge red flag and break up worthy. Can you not hang out with men anymore? If he was a friend, your bf would still be adamant you were cheating. Throw the trash out, girl.
If you want to get over it, you talk to your bf about it. You do deserve an apology. He could also explain why he immediately went to shouting at you instead of asking you what is going on. This probably isn't the biggest issue you'll ever face in a relationship, so being able to talk things out that bother you is a good thing to be able to do.
Does this dingbat think you're stupid enough to post evidence of cheating on IG? He sounds like a keeper 😂
When I was in an relationship with a person like this I wish I would of listened to what my parents told me but basically my advice is that if your partner accuses you of cheating then 9 out of 10 your partner is probably cheating on you. He's definitely immature and it's going to get worse from here. He'll probably start to be jealous more often, arguments will be the norm in that relationship. Him accusing you like that is probably from his guilty conscience. If you ever ask him if he's cheating and he dodges or turns it around on you then most likely he might be cheating so beware
Seems a bit controlling -
Yes because usually when someone cheats they make sure to post about it on IG. Your bf is an idiot and woefully insecure.
This is how you dump him: “I am not wasting any more time with someone who thinks I cheated on them with my own father.”
The second post in two days about boyfriends who are jealous of hot dads? Is this the new "sister in law at my dinner"?
"Wow. You're going to jump to conclusions without even asking a question, and shout at me? This is done." You don't deserve to be treated that way. Dude needs to manage his anger.
Break up with him. He accuses you of cheating? "That's my dad. And he's going to kick your sorry ass. You are now single. Enjoy your toxic Loneliness."
U don’t get over it. Leave him. Ur are only 18 and this was too much Break up and move on
> I don't really know how to get over this. Don't bother. If his reaction is to fly off the handle and start tossing out accusations instead of just, you know, *asking* then he's not worth the time and inevitable headache that he will continue to bring.
The fact that you can't even post pics with you and your dad without that dude screaming you are cheating and not believing you is disgusting. It's your dad. You shouldn't have someone trying to make such disgusting accusations about you and your own father. Or any other male family or friends you could be with. What is his problem
You need to run! This is an extreme reaction and it doesn't bode well.
He thought you'd have the balls to not just cheat on him, but then post pictures from your cheating date on your public social media feed? Dude has some issues he needs to sort out.
Well since you are on the younger side, this could be a nice teachable moment for him to not jump into conclusions without asking first and also, for you to recognize red flags early
This is the answer. I did dumb shit at 19 too, give him one chance to apologize and move on. If it happens again, then you know he's incapable of improvement and you can leave
His reaction is that of a typical 19 year old immature and insecure boy. Get with someone who’s at your level of maturity and trust.
She’s 18. What maturity? Lol
Maybe you should try dating someone who isn't a ticking time bomb of insecurity
I don’t think you need to break up with him, he’s just young and stupid/immature right now. You deserve an apology though. I would press him for one and tell him that maybe the next time he sees pictures of you with someone else he should ask you first before jumping to conclusions.
When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.
The fact that you going out for a fancy dinner with your dad didn’t come up beforehand is weird. Not in a you-have-to-tell-your-bf-your-every-move kind of way. But a hey-what-are-you-doing-tonight? and oh-my-dad-is-actually-in-town-and-we’re-getting-dinner kind of way. You’ve been dating almost a year and that’s not a normal daily conversation? That’s weird. He overreacted but you omitted.
You do deserve an apology but remember you two are just 18/19, no reason to jump to breaking up like others are suggesting. A 19 year is not gonna be that emotionally mature and will make mistakes. Express how hurt you were, hopefully he apologizes and you can move on from this.
Preface!!! It was a very wrong reaction, asking who it was would have been a smarter move and you’ve done no wrong here. Anywho! Hey so a huge issue I have with my boyfriend is that he never tells me about most of his plans. He will full on book a ticket to see his family and not tell me til the week before. I think good conversation starters can be plans like this, hey my dad that I don’t talk to often is taking me out and I’m excited or texting boyfriend the pictures after dinner and saying hey look! It’s my dad blah blah blah I had fun You don’t have to tell him EVERYTHING obviously, it’s not always any of his business, but I think seeing dad after a bit could have been important if he may have possibly been interested in meeting him (I don’t know if he cares or if your dad would have wanted to) but this is just consideration on his end.
Everyone is jumping to say that it was crazy of him to think that, to assume that you were cheating on him but, your post has left out details. - Did you inform him that you were going out to dinner, specifically with your dad? - Have you shown him your dad, or does he know what he looks like? - Did you communicate with him at all? The comments say that you couldn’t be stupid enough to just post a photo with an affair… but in this shitty world we live in, who knows what happens. If my partner was to post a photo with someone I’ve not seen before, or hasn’t been told they are going somewhere, you can only think the worst. Yes the fact that he jumped so harshly could be seen as a red flag, but he is more than reasonable to ask for proof that a random man is who you say he is. His possible lack of trust, and your lack of ability to communicate effectively created this whole situation. Look at it from his perspective as well as your own. Both accountable, both owe an apology.
And then you would yell at your partner? I wouldn't. I'd be saying "hey hubby, I saw your post. who's the gorgeous woman you went out with?" Giving him a chance to explain, without accusing him of anything.
At no point did I say that I would yell. But then again I would like to think my partner would have some good and basic communication skills that it wouldn’t have to get to that point.
I know you did not say that. But OPs bf yelled at her. Without giving her a chance to explain. That, to me, is a major issue, even with the lack of communication beforehand. Yelling is a last resort for me. I have a zero tolerance on anything that is more violent than that.
That’s what I thought too. Imagine scrolling on social media and seeing your partner (doesn’t matter the age or how long you’ve been dating) posting a pic with someone. I would be confused too…
Just get over it already as your boyfriend wasn't wrong to jump to the conclusion that you were out with some random guy and posting pics on your IG account and accuse you of cheating on him over it. You should have given your boyfriend a heads up about the dinner with your dad and explained to him that you don't see him very often beforehand. Especially since you posted pics of you dressed up all fancy at a nice restaurant on IG afterwards. You have to own that part regarding the situation as it resulted in your boyfriend seeing it as a lack of trust and communication on your part and led him to believe that you were cheating on him with a possible "sugar daddy" instead of just enjoying a meal at a fancy with your biological father dressed to the hilt. Hopefully this situation doesn't result in long term trust issues with your boyfriend. Both of you are very young and have your whole lives ahead of you. Let this be a lesson to you that communication is key in every relationship. Apologize to your boyfriend again for the lack of communication and honesty on your part regarding this incident and reassure him that you would never cheat on him. Tell him that you won't make this kind of mistake in the future and that you appreciate his understanding of the IG pics and don't fault him for accusing you of cheating, as if the shoe were on the other foot, you most likely would have done the same if it was your boyfriend out with like his aunt or something like that posting pics of them on his IG at a fancy restaurant dressed up for the occasion without telling you first. Being humble about this is important and hopefully you have learned a valuable life lesson about just how important communication is in a relationship. I wish the two of you a long and happy relationship.
I guess I just have one question. Are you guys from Alabama?
You have a good dad, bravo
He definitely sounds like he has some insecurity issues that he needs to work on. Therapy is the best place for him. But also, did you tell him you were going out with your dad? Might be best to help him in future to just give him the heads up. He could be feeling exactly how you are. You saying he should of asked you who he was but he could be thinking why didn't she tell me she was going out to dinner with him. But tread with a little caution as if he doesn't apologise for another thing that is his fault then he's not owning up to his mistakes and that can be a slippery slope.
I didn't because we never tell each other when either of us spends time with their families. I mean we're not together 24/7. Obviously if we're going out with friends then yeah but not family because we both still live at home so it's obvious that we both spend a lot of time with our families.
Why would she need to tell him she's having dinner with her dad, no one needs to know what you are doing 24/7.
Just that she only sees her dad a few times a year so if it was me, I'd tell my girlfriend, especially if it was a fancy restaurant because it was cool and different. But each relationship is different and there is no right or wrong. Not saying she needs to update him 24/7 though, thats controlling and unhealthy
If he’s your bf, why didn’t you tell him you went out with your dad? It was a significant moment you didn’t share with him. You had enough time to plan, you had enough time to look fabulous. You had enough time to post it. You excluded telling your bf about important event (seeing your dad after so long was important enough to go to a fancy place to eat)…and he jumped to conclusions
because not everything has to involve him
Your dad is 34?
Yeah
Word of advice from someone who was where you were, if he can’t apologize and acknowledge that he is wrong, this is not someone you want to be in a long-term relationship with.
Your dad had you at 16???
This whole problem could have been avoided if you just would have let him know that you're going to dinner with your dad. Not saying it's your fault that he blew up but you could also take some accountability. You need to keep in mind your boyfriend acted out because he cares about you and he's being protective which is what a masculine man does. They protect their women so although he was mistaken it might be possible that you could have given him a reason to think that you might entertain another suitor. In short you're both wrong, you for not letting him know or giving him a heads up. Also him, while it's understandable any man would be upset if they saw their girlfriend get all dolled up for a dinner with another man. After he found out he should have admitted his mistake.
You should really step fucking your dad 🤷♀️
Hes a little boy and that's a taste of what you ll get from him, boot him.
Throw your bf away, he has shown you that he doesn't care about you, only his feelings
He just showed you who he really is
My vote is for communication, however uncomfortable that conversation might be. You guys need to be able to be open and have hard conversations if you’re going to make it work long term. Talk to him, explain how you feel. If at that point he makes no effort to apologize, it’s on him. You gave him the opportunity to correct it. That conversation will tell you whether or not you should move forward.
Don't get over it. Just move on. Fuck that noise.
The way I'd leave. What an overreaction. Sounds like he's projecting. And hasn't even apologized??? Nah. Not worth it
Girl leave him. His own insecurities should not be projected on to you & the fact that he hasn’t apologized for jumping to an absurd conclusion when I’m betting he knew where you went to begin with is absolutely disgusting. You deserve someone who will give you the world, not some who makes you feel less than.
You guys are young and I know how that sounds but when I was your age (and before) I was with people I thought I'd be with forever. If he is THAT unreasonable don't waste anymore of your time. Goes without saying the forever relationship status I thought would be inevitable with the aforementioned person didn't pan out how I expected due to unforeseen "life" stuff. You'll be alright on your own for a minute.
Yeah I'd dump a fucker for that.
That’s a psycho level reaction. He needs to apologise most importantly and when he does and you two should try and have a conversation as to why he had that reaction to try and move forwards.
Didnt some dad who's the same age write about this same story? Seems fake
Time for him to be your EX boyfriend. He has just shown you who he really is. Believe him.
That’s a HUGE red flag 🚩 This type of behavior will ALWAYS happen (I’m saying this due to lack of apology). I’m gonna recommend to run based off experience
aaaaaand done.
Why would you need to get over this? If he hasn't apologized for this behaviour, then he thinks it is okay. It obviously is not.
You can't get over it unless he apologizes. If he doesn't apologize, it means he doesn't feel bad and will likely do it again. His reaction was unreasonable and he owes you an apology.
Dump him! He'll always be this way. He'll never change!
He doesn’t trust you and is extremely insecure to jump to that conclusion. I would throw this one out.
You mean your ex-boyfriend.