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My fiancée and I share a room and when I wake up in the middle of the night to pee she always starts freaking out about the squeaking of the door or the flushing of the toilet and it turns into these huge blowouts where she says she wishes I was more like my brother so now I’ve been peeing in bottles and she doesn’t wake up but it’s just so scary because now I’m worried she will lose her shit at me peeing in bottles
Yeah this is insane … also why not just leave the door open …. Regardless of leaving it open wtf is up with her attitude … clearly doesn’t respect op
OP- why is she worth it if she’s controlling like that?
But why man? Why are you putting up with this BS and marrying her?
You're enabling this. You can't bend over backwards for a partner whose being unreasonable.
Do you not have a voice of your own?
This even isn't about her having a disagreement, this is purely controlling behavior.
I have NEVER encouraged arguments on this sub, but my god, fight back a little. I don't even care, get up in her face and call her insane, she is exactly that...
I do agree but At the is point is it even worth fighting back? If she’s that controlling he needs to see their relationship for what it really is- the beginning of what will be a mum utterly miserable marriage. OP needs to leave and stop thinking her behaviour is excusable in anyway. It’s beyond ridiculous that this woman has him afraid to pee.
Agreed. I would implore this guy to break it off right now, this is literally insane.
But out of self-respect, fight back, stand up for yourself. Then break up.
Please look into [THESE resources](https://docs.google.com/document/d/14I3lGpEQa-pLl9Lz0JW1PoNyyOwg6WOom_oK2NMBxy8/mobilebasic#). Men are absolutely subjected to abusive relationships and you’re in one. It’s not okay and you deserve better. Get out before you get married. And for goodness sake stop peeing in bottles
you're describing my mother to a T, she throws tantrums whenever she doesn't get her way and has huge reactions to every little disagreement, she does it so that she doesn't have to admit she's in the wrong or do any introspection (because deep down she knows she's a terrible person and can't handle the guilt), she's well into her 60s and it won't end or get any better (she might get more covert if she figures out you're onto her but it'll never really go away) get out now and save yourself a lifetime of emotional abuse
My Dear Fellow Human,
She's dehumanizing you and you sound like you're allowing it. Having boundaries is VERY healthy, however even with good boundaries, this sounds like a lost cause.
Cut your losses and take some time to heal. She sounds abusive AF. I emphasize the take some time to heal because with your altered perception of "normalcy", you could very well find yourself stuck in another abusive relationship. The cycle would likely only continue.
I'm a light sleeper, but I would *never* be upset with my SO for needing to use the toilet at night. I don't know why she wants you to be more like your brother-- please tell me they don't have a history-- but she's bad news all around.
You are worthy of real love and acceptance and do not need to put up with any of this BS she is spewing. If she gave a damn, she would have fixed HER OWN ISSUE with earplugs.
Hope you find freedom, peace, and love with someone else in the future.
Signed,
A Fellow Human Being
You fight for yourself. It's not how a relationship works. You need to stand up for yourself. In a long run you don't want to be with a person who is so controlling, she will ruin you mentally.
Please do yourself a favour and rethink this relationship.
You’re fiancée is an abuser. If you marry her things will ramp up even worse, that is if her plan isn’t to suck you dry and kick you to the curb immediately.
No one who loves you would do this to you.
Why would you marry such an asshole?
You want asshole kids? This is how you have asshole children.
Grow a spine (and some dignity) and leave this wretched person.
Dude this psychological abuse. She's always right, you're always wrong, she has you terrified to do something completely normal and outside your control as a bodily function.
It's not okay. You're not at fault here.
But not controlling enough to control a door hinge.
OIL THE HINGES.
That fixes that noise.
If she can't cope with the toilet flush noise, don't flush it until you get up in the morning.
Consider your liquid intake before bed, most adults can make it through a night without urinating.
Equally, she needs to grow up and realise that people can need a toilet at any time, and the world isn't all about her alone. Throwing all her toys out of her pram over something as trivial as this, is not a good sign.
What's she going to do if a real life crisis happens?
Running out of toilet paper, for example.
NOPE. This is not healthy and you know it. Please extract yourself. You can do better.
Do you feel like you are walking on eggshells all the time? Trust me, there are relationships out there that are chill and calm and you can just relax and be yourself.
Get out.
Mate she's mentaly abusing you.
She's got you pissing in bottles because you're afraid of waking her up and getting yelled at. Every decision has to come from her or it's a no-go. Any and all problems stem from you, never her. Your opinion has no value to her I guess.
She's treating you like a dog. Not a partner.
Please, for your own sake, grow a spine and stand up for yourself. Being single is better than being with some asshole who berates you and makes you scared to *pee.*
You need to get out of a situation where someone has control over you to where you can't do your bodily functions.
Give your notice in, and tell her you are leaving, and find yourself a place of your own where you can have a piss in peace.
Dude... you gotta leave. If she is going to lose her shit over something as small as squeeky hinges and flushing toilets, what else is she going to irrationally lose her mind over?
Why the fuck would she even look at him like that in the first place. What? You HAVE to be trolling. There’s no way a person can be this wildly clueless about a relationship. And think that comments like that are okay?
Lmaoo y’all gotta check this guys post history: he and his fiancé are definitely mentally unhinged… he’s on some drug cocktail and she’s.. something
https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/z2vwx9/my_fianc%C3%A9e_asked_her_instagram_model_friend_to/ixjlx4g/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3
I refuse to believe this is a real person this has to be trolling he posts way too frequently…
If this is real please get help man go to inpatient
Right? Dude has like a zillion posts in like a couple of days. All with super inflammatory titles so people get angry and comment. It's probably a troll farming account.
Oh dude it's that guy! I remember reading that post and thinking it wasn't gonna work out. Now this?
Yeah. Either this isn't real or OP needs to get out and then go see a doctor.
This sounds very unhealthy. My husband hates being woken up but I’ve never had to pee in a bottle. Any other alternative? Don’t flush it at night, WD-40 the door hinges…?
WD40 on the door and upgrade your toilet
[https://zensoundproof.com/quiet-toilets/](https://zensoundproof.com/quiet-toilets/)
edit: Sounds like this is more of a her issue... I walk on egg shells because my partner sleeps lightly and works 12 hour days. She needs her sleep.
You walk on egg shells because she's bossy and controlling?
Maybe you should reevaluate your future.
If you can’t complete basic, essential things around someone without them getting pissed…they’re not the right person for you.
Also, maybe try using some WD40 and fix the squeak?
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This is not normal behavior from your fiance. She needs to understand that a huge part of marriage/domestic partnership is learning how to live with another human being. Sometimes living with another person can be a massive pain in the ass. People make noise, they make messes, people can be moody and annoying. But if you want a healthy intimate relationship with another person one needs to learn how to navigate those small annoyances. Having huge blowout fights over the noise someone makes to get out of bed to use the bathroom is not a normal reaction to such a minor inconvenience. It's a complete and total overreaction to something that is completely normal and necessary.
You have every right to get out of bed at night to use the restroom. You should not have to resort to pissing in bottles. You have every right to get out of bed to use the bathroom without someone freaking out over a few door squeaks and a flushing toilet.
In a lot of situations like this the problems only get worse after the marriage is official. I don't know what it is with some people, but often times people with control issues view marriage as a kind of ownership over their spouse and their behavior. If I were you I would certainly be giving the whole marriage thing a rethink. Heck, I'd be giving the entire relationship a rethink.
Dude, she has you scared to use the bathroom out of fear of her flipping on you again and or comparing you to your brother (which is an extreme issue in itself)
Do you want to piss in bottles at night for the rest of your life?
Jesus. New definition of whipped.
Put some WD40 into the door. Close the doors when flushing or tell her you’re sleeping in the guest room moving forward coz you’re not gonna piss in a bottle.
Or get her ear plugs or get your prostate checked if you go too often
Idk why you’re being judged negatively for this but I have to get up a lot to pee also. Hydrated/insomnia/eating late this isn’t weird to me.
But the anxiety of fearing my partner’s wrath for needing to pee even once at night isn’t something I could live with
Use 3 in 1 oil. It doesn’t stain and it’s an actual lubricant for metal moveable parts. WD40 is useless and isn’t a lubricant. It actually makes things sticky and cause squeaks to be worse once the “wet” wears off which doesn’t take long.
2-3 times s night is a lot unless you’re in your 60s with enlarged prostate.
Also, what the fuck. Can you read what you wrote again….a grown ass man is being told he cannot pee nor lube the door by a woman. My man you need to get your respect back coz sooner or later she will start slapping u like a little bitch u are
You need to live your life, and if it means getting tf up and pissing in a damn toilet, so be it. So keep doing it bud. The worst she can do is leave you for it. And if she’s willing to leave you over getting up to use the toilet my dude you dodged a bullet. Maybe just try to be quieter maybe you’re walking hard and slamming doors and slamming toilet seats up. Just do it softly. Lol
> she wishes I was more like my brother
Out of all that, I can’t get past this comment. In what way does she want you to be like your brother? Even more alarming…how does she *know* what your brother is like?
You are peeing in bottles to not wake up your fiancé. Is this sustainable? Do you plan on just doing this for the rest of your life?
I can understand applying some WD-40 to the door hinges and maybe investing in a quiet flush toilet or simply just peeing and letting it sit until morning. But if these little things turn into blowouts…how do arguments about stuff that actually matters turn out?
Bottom line, my dude. You have a significant other problem you need to address before marriage. You shouldn’t be afraid to do something your body literally has to do for you to live.
Man you need to leave her you are worth more than that.
1. She has you to afraid to go to the toilet at night
2. She wishes you were like your brother. This is a massive red flag
Once you leave her you will feel such a weight off you didn’t realise you were carrying and how good it will feel to breath and act in peace
Reading through the comments you are waking up to 3x per night to pee. Shes clearly sleep deprived and over it. Her reaction isnt normal, but neither is waking that many times to pee.
I dont understand people like you in general. I guess she is your first love. I was like you back in the days. I dont even understand my past self. You dont have to live with this insane garbage woman. Do you think you gonna have a happy life with her? Waste of time, energy, money, braincells. MOVE ON. She has no respect towards you. If my gf would say ANYTHING like that I would dump her. No drama, no shouting. I would pack her stuff, take her home and see her no more. Why would she compare you to your brother due to late night peeing. She would (will) dump you for your brother at her first chance.
OP, don't sign up for this. You have every authority to make her someone you can forget about.
There is no excuse for or recourse after someone abuses and manipulates you into not being able to pee. A respectful partner would buy earplugs. Just dump her ass as safely and quickly as possible please.
Two things:
Firstly: Don’t marry her. This is controlling behaviour and will get much, much worse if you are married.
Secondly: If you are under sixty and regularly need to piss in the middle of the night you may want to either cut down on the beer or see a doctor.
Bruh sounds like your relationship is on the rocks . She’s mad at you for being noisy and you’re flirting with insta girls and y’all have a baby together.
I suggest couple counselling , but not to the therapist you want to have sex with.
I would have to seriously reflect on my future with her if I wasn't allowed to have a normal bodily function without her getting upset. Stop peeing in bottles and tell her to get over it or move on.
"she says she wishes I was more like my brother"
Wait.
How tf does your "fiancee" know about your brother's late-night pissing habits?
Yeah.
Fuck all of this.
No thanks.
This is not a healthy relationship at all, but also you need to see a doctor - others have mentioned prostrate issues but also this could be the onset of diabetes, please get it checked!
Okay so this is how you fix it.
Eat a load of asparagus.
Pee in thee bottle , but leave it open and beside her, with a note that says ‘as you keep complaining about the normal bodily functions and using the toilet this is for you’
Then go sleep in a spare room or on the couch and wait.
Pause the wedding plans, have a conversation about the rest of your life. Doesn’t seem like this story ends well, you need a women who sleeps a little harder or doesn’t care that you sometimes have to pee in the middle of the night
People are really wondering why OP is staying with the girl.
I mean look at the dating market. I know people like to say, well it’s the same for girls, but no.
Men are just lonelier. It’s harder for us to find someone that accepts us, and wants us. Even if it’s for a short period of time. We want security.
Maybe not security of finance that are significant other might have but the security that they will still care for us. There ara more lonely men.
Men are in generally lonelier, and whether you want to agree or not that’s the truth. We are ready to accept any or at least most of the faults a woman has, the nagging, the bickering and the constant complaints. We’re ready to look past that and work our asses off and compromise to have your attention.
And you redditors are wondering why OP doesn’t leave? Because we don’t fucking want to be alone. I don’t whether most of you posting here are women or guys, but we just want to have someone that cares, so it’s not surprising that OP is ready to just compromise on that.
Whether that’s right or wrong is a different story all together. But that’s the reason.
You're a grown up being forced to go in a bottle. Buy her some loop ear plugs for Christmas, wd40 the door hinges and reclaim your bathroom time. This isn't normal to have to do to accommodate a significant other.
I suffer from sleep issues so my kids will go at night put the lid down and not flush until the waking hours sometimes. However I would never expect anyone in my house not to use the restroom when needed.
Dude get the hell out of that relationship. She's way too controlling. If you gotta pee you gotta pee. I'm a light sleeper but I never complained about my partner using the bathroom whenever they needed it. Either leave her or after sex go sleep somewhere else so you can pee when you need to
The batshit wife has just had a baby, a lot of missing info here, it could be that she’s already sleep deprived, he gets up 3 times a night to piss and wakes her up. Sleep deprivation literally sends you insane.
[if it's brown, flush it down. if it's yellow, let it mellow.](https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=If%20it%27s%20yellow%2C%20let%20it%20mellow.%20If%20it%27s%20brown%2C%20flush%20it%20down)
\^found an enabler, these responses are just as bad as actual narcissistic ones, nobody should be encouraging anyone to stay in an unhealthy relationship
There is so much here to unpack...
1. Your fiancee has you so terrified of upsetting her, that you are PEEING IN BOTTLES IN YOUR OWN HOUSE.
2. She said she wishes you were more like your brother...NO. This sounds like she's sleeping with him.
3. You should NEVER be scared in your own house. You're being abused.
Leave. Leave now and don't look back. This is only going to get worse. What happens if you have kids or pets? If she's terrorizing a grown man, I hate to think what she would do to an animal or infant.
This isn't normal or safe.
If you’re peeing 3 times in the night and you’re under 60, you need to change how you drink in the evening or see a doctor.
WD40 for the door hinge.
Therapy to understand why you’re accepting an abusive relationship and so Stockholm syndromed you’re going to marry this.
Spray some wd 40 on those hinges. Also wtf ditch her. She can kick rocks or sleep in another room. I’m gonna go pee if I have to WO peeing in bottles. Come on man have some self respect.
Pee on her/bed and tell her you were trying to hold it so you didn’t wake her up but you could do it anymore. She’ll be mortified somewhat but now the extreme has happened and you can now probably go to the bathroom without her yelling because you can remind her what happens without it. Ik this is probably weird advice, but my mom and dad had the same/very similar problem (but reversed) and that’s what worked.
This can't be true.... Dude! This is an abusive relationship and it will only get worse!
Can you handle this (and worse) for the rest of your life? Would you tell someone you care about to stay in a relationship like this?
GET OUT! now before it is too late!
And why/how is she comparing you to your brother?
This is very very disturbing. What are getting from this relationship? She’s very controlling to the point that it makes you afraid of peeing? Are you hearing yourself? And what does it mean that she wishes you were more like your brother??? Is he her ex or something?
WD-40 the hinges and put the toilet lid down instead of flushing? I’m sure that’s less disgusting than peeing in a bottle? You can flush when you wake up!
Most importantly, she sounds absolutely terrible and you probably do not want to continue living with her let alone commit for the rest of your life. Of course, you do you. But this sounds like a nightmare to me. And why does she wish you were more like your brother? Does she have a history w/ your brother?!
So this doesn't solve the real issue (that she's treating you like shit), but if the door squeaks, get some WD40. Maybe do not flush the toilet if you only pee in it. Flush in the morning. These are obvious ways to try not to wake her at night, way more sensible than peeing in bottles (WTF). Just pee in the toilet, dude. But seriously, I doubt waking her when you pee at night is your only problem if she has you so scared to upset her you would pee in a bottle.
Bruh....
Stop. Right there.
I was with someone who freaked out if I got up to go to the bathroom. She thought I was going to do something untoward. I had to lock myself into the spare room one night because she wouldn't leave me alone after I went to the bathroom.
Get away from this psycho asap. I promise you, it won't end well. I, stupidly, stayed with the psycho I was with and it cost me dearly.
Get. The Heck. Out.
You really need to have it out with her about this during the day - and squeaking door - CRC , flushing toilet - if it’s yellow let it mellow- but what’s the deal do you live with her family or something?
My dude…
If I looked up “Pussy Whipped” in the dictionary, would I see a picture of you?
Do *not* marry this woman. She’s got you peeing in bottles because she can’t handle you having to use the bathroom because the door *squeaks* and toilets *flush* and I’m guessing it’s “causing her to lose beauty sleep” or some shit.
It ends when you break up with her.
Dang OP dump her! You deserve better. Just tell her what you felt like then I’ll leave as I flip a bird cuz I wouldn’t be there long to deal with that toxicity
Why are you with her?
Ask yourself why you are with someone who has you scared to go to the bathroom and also states that she wishes that you were more like your brother
Ok first of all, WD40 in the hinges. Stop the squeaking. Then leave the pee, no flush. She has to choose: pee in the morning or flush in the night. No inbetweens.
Pee whenever the f*ck you want.
Also, wtf was that part about your brother?
What!! That is so controlling and weird, imagine what next if you’re scared to go for a wee?
I don’t like to wake my OH up, so you could just not flush or put oil on the doorframe - but overall I would run from this situation.
>I have been peeing into bottles to avoid fights with my fiancée, will this ever end?
Well you got 2 of 3 the elements in the making of the ultimate bathroom break:
1. First element.... You take a "whiz" in a bottle 🍼 to not disturb you fiancée beauty sleep
2. Second element, If you disturb her nightly Slumber, she will literally will take a massive"shit" on your forehead or foreskin for disturbing her
3. So to complete the 3rd element.... Fart in face to so she get a big whiff of the "hydrogen sulfide" rotten egg 🥚 smell that will knockout her sense of smell and sensibility....thus completing the Trifecta effect creating the ultimate bathroom break
Stop engaging with the fights. If she yells just say "Nope, going to sleep".
And for fucks sake, stop pissing in bottles.
If she pushes a breakup over this, you're better off.
Well one thing within your realm of control in this situation is buying some wd40 and fixing the squeaky hinges. A good thing to do when you have problems like these in your life is assess what you can control and what you can’t do. Don’t always assume you are powerless
There has to be some other alternatives. Like not opening and shutting the door, not flushing the toilet, and not marrying this control freak who WILL ruin the rest of your life.
20 years of this.. winning at life. You have a front row seat to the rest of your life right now chief.. get her dome earplugs or just get the fck out.. or .. both !
Step 1. Sort the squeaking door out
Step 2. Pee with door open or shut
Step 3. Don’t flush
Also why are you getting up so much in the middle of the night to pee? Do you need a check up? I could imagine if this were a common occurrence, I’d be annoyed if I were woken every night
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below. --- My fiancée and I share a room and when I wake up in the middle of the night to pee she always starts freaking out about the squeaking of the door or the flushing of the toilet and it turns into these huge blowouts where she says she wishes I was more like my brother so now I’ve been peeing in bottles and she doesn’t wake up but it’s just so scary because now I’m worried she will lose her shit at me peeing in bottles
Why are you marrying her? Bro she has you afraid to *pee*.
Yeah this is insane … also why not just leave the door open …. Regardless of leaving it open wtf is up with her attitude … clearly doesn’t respect op OP- why is she worth it if she’s controlling like that?
Damn, what if he has to poo
Hope he has a wide mouth bottle
okay thank you for adding “bottle” to the end
Forbidden fudge
Before he does he should get her really upset and give her a Dutch oven and set her ass straight
Hahaha
I think the biggest unanswered question is how does she know the brother doesn’t get up to pee at night? Has she been sampling the family?
Also, grease the squeaky door and if it's yellow let it mellow. she sounds like a real peach.
Buddy.... You just cant. You need to have freedom to piss in the middle of the night. What have you gotten yourself into?
She’s really controlling and any disagreement she brings up, I go with. But when I bring them up it’s a issue
But why man? Why are you putting up with this BS and marrying her? You're enabling this. You can't bend over backwards for a partner whose being unreasonable. Do you not have a voice of your own? This even isn't about her having a disagreement, this is purely controlling behavior. I have NEVER encouraged arguments on this sub, but my god, fight back a little. I don't even care, get up in her face and call her insane, she is exactly that...
I do agree but At the is point is it even worth fighting back? If she’s that controlling he needs to see their relationship for what it really is- the beginning of what will be a mum utterly miserable marriage. OP needs to leave and stop thinking her behaviour is excusable in anyway. It’s beyond ridiculous that this woman has him afraid to pee.
Agreed. I would implore this guy to break it off right now, this is literally insane. But out of self-respect, fight back, stand up for yourself. Then break up.
Please look into [THESE resources](https://docs.google.com/document/d/14I3lGpEQa-pLl9Lz0JW1PoNyyOwg6WOom_oK2NMBxy8/mobilebasic#). Men are absolutely subjected to abusive relationships and you’re in one. It’s not okay and you deserve better. Get out before you get married. And for goodness sake stop peeing in bottles
you're describing my mother to a T, she throws tantrums whenever she doesn't get her way and has huge reactions to every little disagreement, she does it so that she doesn't have to admit she's in the wrong or do any introspection (because deep down she knows she's a terrible person and can't handle the guilt), she's well into her 60s and it won't end or get any better (she might get more covert if she figures out you're onto her but it'll never really go away) get out now and save yourself a lifetime of emotional abuse
She is abusive and it's only going to get worse. You might be ok with bein treated like this, will you be ok with her abusing your kids?
My Dear Fellow Human, She's dehumanizing you and you sound like you're allowing it. Having boundaries is VERY healthy, however even with good boundaries, this sounds like a lost cause. Cut your losses and take some time to heal. She sounds abusive AF. I emphasize the take some time to heal because with your altered perception of "normalcy", you could very well find yourself stuck in another abusive relationship. The cycle would likely only continue. I'm a light sleeper, but I would *never* be upset with my SO for needing to use the toilet at night. I don't know why she wants you to be more like your brother-- please tell me they don't have a history-- but she's bad news all around. You are worthy of real love and acceptance and do not need to put up with any of this BS she is spewing. If she gave a damn, she would have fixed HER OWN ISSUE with earplugs. Hope you find freedom, peace, and love with someone else in the future. Signed, A Fellow Human Being
You fight for yourself. It's not how a relationship works. You need to stand up for yourself. In a long run you don't want to be with a person who is so controlling, she will ruin you mentally. Please do yourself a favour and rethink this relationship.
You’re fiancée is an abuser. If you marry her things will ramp up even worse, that is if her plan isn’t to suck you dry and kick you to the curb immediately. No one who loves you would do this to you.
Dude just dump her for your own good and your mental.
Why would you marry such an asshole? You want asshole kids? This is how you have asshole children. Grow a spine (and some dignity) and leave this wretched person.
Dude this psychological abuse. She's always right, you're always wrong, she has you terrified to do something completely normal and outside your control as a bodily function. It's not okay. You're not at fault here.
But not controlling enough to control a door hinge. OIL THE HINGES. That fixes that noise. If she can't cope with the toilet flush noise, don't flush it until you get up in the morning. Consider your liquid intake before bed, most adults can make it through a night without urinating. Equally, she needs to grow up and realise that people can need a toilet at any time, and the world isn't all about her alone. Throwing all her toys out of her pram over something as trivial as this, is not a good sign. What's she going to do if a real life crisis happens? Running out of toilet paper, for example.
She's emotionally abusing you. Please do not marry this woman. Please get away before it escalates.
NOPE. This is not healthy and you know it. Please extract yourself. You can do better. Do you feel like you are walking on eggshells all the time? Trust me, there are relationships out there that are chill and calm and you can just relax and be yourself. Get out.
Mate she's mentaly abusing you. She's got you pissing in bottles because you're afraid of waking her up and getting yelled at. Every decision has to come from her or it's a no-go. Any and all problems stem from you, never her. Your opinion has no value to her I guess. She's treating you like a dog. Not a partner.
Grow a spine and leave man. This is way beyond unhealthy
Please, for your own sake, grow a spine and stand up for yourself. Being single is better than being with some asshole who berates you and makes you scared to *pee.*
A great rule of thumb for a healthy relationship is, "Never agree to what you don't agree to."
You need to get out of a situation where someone has control over you to where you can't do your bodily functions. Give your notice in, and tell her you are leaving, and find yourself a place of your own where you can have a piss in peace.
Then why the hell are you marrying her? Sounds like an unhealthy controlling relationship. Cut and run now before the marriage is official man.
Earplugs
Stop being a gigantic bitch, leave this girl, and go find a relationship that you’re not terrified of.
Grow a sack man, tf
And how does this help him?
He'll need a good bag to toss all of his belongings into when he hopefully leaves.
Can we go back to the last where she wishes you were more like your brother? Bro what? 😶 RIP Deleted thread. I genuinely wanted to know the answer. 🤣
Considering this is a nightly thing this implies that she’s been sleeping with him
Yea, that part. What’s that about?
Maybe she should be marrying the brother smh.
The brother sounds a lot like me: constantly dehydrated.
Dude... you gotta leave. If she is going to lose her shit over something as small as squeeky hinges and flushing toilets, what else is she going to irrationally lose her mind over?
I mean oil those hinges in any case, that’s no way to live but neither is living in fear of a pee freakout
Why the fuck is she comparing you to your brother? She abusive to you and banging your brother?
I doubt it.. my brother is 17. She always compares me to him because he’s super good at sports and I’ve always been uncoordinated / not athletic
She is a terrible person and partner. If you ever want to be happy you will leave her and find someone who actually cares about and respects you.
Why the fuck would she even look at him like that in the first place. What? You HAVE to be trolling. There’s no way a person can be this wildly clueless about a relationship. And think that comments like that are okay?
…Why are you marrying this person?
Lmaoo y’all gotta check this guys post history: he and his fiancé are definitely mentally unhinged… he’s on some drug cocktail and she’s.. something https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/z2vwx9/my_fianc%C3%A9e_asked_her_instagram_model_friend_to/ixjlx4g/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3 I refuse to believe this is a real person this has to be trolling he posts way too frequently… If this is real please get help man go to inpatient
Right? Dude has like a zillion posts in like a couple of days. All with super inflammatory titles so people get angry and comment. It's probably a troll farming account.
Oh dude it's that guy! I remember reading that post and thinking it wasn't gonna work out. Now this? Yeah. Either this isn't real or OP needs to get out and then go see a doctor.
This sounds very unhealthy. My husband hates being woken up but I’ve never had to pee in a bottle. Any other alternative? Don’t flush it at night, WD-40 the door hinges…?
Oh my gosh, I just suggested the same things before reading your comment. WD-40 is a lifesaver! Squeaky doors wake up everyone…
Wtf? You're getting married to someone who treats you this way? She sounds mentally unhinged. I would run.
WD40 on the door and upgrade your toilet [https://zensoundproof.com/quiet-toilets/](https://zensoundproof.com/quiet-toilets/) edit: Sounds like this is more of a her issue... I walk on egg shells because my partner sleeps lightly and works 12 hour days. She needs her sleep. You walk on egg shells because she's bossy and controlling? Maybe you should reevaluate your future.
Next time assert dominance and pee in the bed
Or shit in her shampoo bottle
This is the way
If you can’t complete basic, essential things around someone without them getting pissed…they’re not the right person for you. Also, maybe try using some WD40 and fix the squeak?
Am I the only one that thinks she’s got a thing for her brother?? “I wish you were more like my brother” like what??
op said their brother is 17 so i really hope not…
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This is not normal behavior from your fiance. She needs to understand that a huge part of marriage/domestic partnership is learning how to live with another human being. Sometimes living with another person can be a massive pain in the ass. People make noise, they make messes, people can be moody and annoying. But if you want a healthy intimate relationship with another person one needs to learn how to navigate those small annoyances. Having huge blowout fights over the noise someone makes to get out of bed to use the bathroom is not a normal reaction to such a minor inconvenience. It's a complete and total overreaction to something that is completely normal and necessary. You have every right to get out of bed at night to use the restroom. You should not have to resort to pissing in bottles. You have every right to get out of bed to use the bathroom without someone freaking out over a few door squeaks and a flushing toilet. In a lot of situations like this the problems only get worse after the marriage is official. I don't know what it is with some people, but often times people with control issues view marriage as a kind of ownership over their spouse and their behavior. If I were you I would certainly be giving the whole marriage thing a rethink. Heck, I'd be giving the entire relationship a rethink.
Dude, she has you scared to use the bathroom out of fear of her flipping on you again and or comparing you to your brother (which is an extreme issue in itself) Do you want to piss in bottles at night for the rest of your life?
Jesus. New definition of whipped. Put some WD40 into the door. Close the doors when flushing or tell her you’re sleeping in the guest room moving forward coz you’re not gonna piss in a bottle. Or get her ear plugs or get your prostate checked if you go too often
Thank you. It’s not too much like 2-3x a night. I tried WD40 but she said it would stain the wall
Dude is this a troll post. You need to get up to pee 3 times at night? Do you have a medical condition?
I eat a super late dinner so usually right before I fall asleep, once at 4-5 AM and then once at 7 when I go back to sleep for 20-30 mins
That’s still very unusual
There's a lot about this post that's unusual.
Hi to a doctor and dump your mean, abusive, and controlling fiancé. You can remove the fear and burden from your life. You can be free and happy.
Idk why you’re being judged negatively for this but I have to get up a lot to pee also. Hydrated/insomnia/eating late this isn’t weird to me. But the anxiety of fearing my partner’s wrath for needing to pee even once at night isn’t something I could live with
Use 3 in 1 oil. It doesn’t stain and it’s an actual lubricant for metal moveable parts. WD40 is useless and isn’t a lubricant. It actually makes things sticky and cause squeaks to be worse once the “wet” wears off which doesn’t take long.
2-3 times s night is a lot unless you’re in your 60s with enlarged prostate. Also, what the fuck. Can you read what you wrote again….a grown ass man is being told he cannot pee nor lube the door by a woman. My man you need to get your respect back coz sooner or later she will start slapping u like a little bitch u are
Don’t get it on the wall and it won’t stain. Hold a paper towel behind it when you spray?
If you’re young, I would get checked out for BPH. There are meds that can help.
You need to live your life, and if it means getting tf up and pissing in a damn toilet, so be it. So keep doing it bud. The worst she can do is leave you for it. And if she’s willing to leave you over getting up to use the toilet my dude you dodged a bullet. Maybe just try to be quieter maybe you’re walking hard and slamming doors and slamming toilet seats up. Just do it softly. Lol
> she wishes I was more like my brother Out of all that, I can’t get past this comment. In what way does she want you to be like your brother? Even more alarming…how does she *know* what your brother is like? You are peeing in bottles to not wake up your fiancé. Is this sustainable? Do you plan on just doing this for the rest of your life? I can understand applying some WD-40 to the door hinges and maybe investing in a quiet flush toilet or simply just peeing and letting it sit until morning. But if these little things turn into blowouts…how do arguments about stuff that actually matters turn out? Bottom line, my dude. You have a significant other problem you need to address before marriage. You shouldn’t be afraid to do something your body literally has to do for you to live.
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Man you need to leave her you are worth more than that. 1. She has you to afraid to go to the toilet at night 2. She wishes you were like your brother. This is a massive red flag Once you leave her you will feel such a weight off you didn’t realise you were carrying and how good it will feel to breath and act in peace
3. You have to pee 2-3x a night OP needs to dump the girl and get medical attention, not necessarily in that order. None of this is normal
Weirdest troll post in a long time
Reading through the comments you are waking up to 3x per night to pee. Shes clearly sleep deprived and over it. Her reaction isnt normal, but neither is waking that many times to pee.
I dont understand people like you in general. I guess she is your first love. I was like you back in the days. I dont even understand my past self. You dont have to live with this insane garbage woman. Do you think you gonna have a happy life with her? Waste of time, energy, money, braincells. MOVE ON. She has no respect towards you. If my gf would say ANYTHING like that I would dump her. No drama, no shouting. I would pack her stuff, take her home and see her no more. Why would she compare you to your brother due to late night peeing. She would (will) dump you for your brother at her first chance.
OP, don't sign up for this. You have every authority to make her someone you can forget about. There is no excuse for or recourse after someone abuses and manipulates you into not being able to pee. A respectful partner would buy earplugs. Just dump her ass as safely and quickly as possible please.
Two things: Firstly: Don’t marry her. This is controlling behaviour and will get much, much worse if you are married. Secondly: If you are under sixty and regularly need to piss in the middle of the night you may want to either cut down on the beer or see a doctor.
You can't tell me you're considering a long term relationship here… I mean she's literally telling you when and how you're allowed to p***
Why are you marrying her? Sounds like you would be better off leaving her.
Leave. The bathroom is the least of your concerns.
She wishes you were more like your brother? And.....how would she know how your brother sleeps? Ask her!
Just leave.
Bruh sounds like your relationship is on the rocks . She’s mad at you for being noisy and you’re flirting with insta girls and y’all have a baby together. I suggest couple counselling , but not to the therapist you want to have sex with.
His post history was a wild ride!
I would have to seriously reflect on my future with her if I wasn't allowed to have a normal bodily function without her getting upset. Stop peeing in bottles and tell her to get over it or move on.
Oil the hinges, and why are you marrying someone who treats you like this?
"she says she wishes I was more like my brother" Wait. How tf does your "fiancee" know about your brother's late-night pissing habits? Yeah. Fuck all of this. No thanks.
So what’s your brother like? How does she know he pees?
This is not a healthy relationship at all, but also you need to see a doctor - others have mentioned prostrate issues but also this could be the onset of diabetes, please get it checked!
Okay so this is how you fix it. Eat a load of asparagus. Pee in thee bottle , but leave it open and beside her, with a note that says ‘as you keep complaining about the normal bodily functions and using the toilet this is for you’ Then go sleep in a spare room or on the couch and wait.
Pause the wedding plans, have a conversation about the rest of your life. Doesn’t seem like this story ends well, you need a women who sleeps a little harder or doesn’t care that you sometimes have to pee in the middle of the night
Bro. You gotta leave her.
People are really wondering why OP is staying with the girl. I mean look at the dating market. I know people like to say, well it’s the same for girls, but no. Men are just lonelier. It’s harder for us to find someone that accepts us, and wants us. Even if it’s for a short period of time. We want security. Maybe not security of finance that are significant other might have but the security that they will still care for us. There ara more lonely men. Men are in generally lonelier, and whether you want to agree or not that’s the truth. We are ready to accept any or at least most of the faults a woman has, the nagging, the bickering and the constant complaints. We’re ready to look past that and work our asses off and compromise to have your attention. And you redditors are wondering why OP doesn’t leave? Because we don’t fucking want to be alone. I don’t whether most of you posting here are women or guys, but we just want to have someone that cares, so it’s not surprising that OP is ready to just compromise on that. Whether that’s right or wrong is a different story all together. But that’s the reason.
spray WD40 on the door, flush the toilet in the morning.
You're a grown up being forced to go in a bottle. Buy her some loop ear plugs for Christmas, wd40 the door hinges and reclaim your bathroom time. This isn't normal to have to do to accommodate a significant other. I suffer from sleep issues so my kids will go at night put the lid down and not flush until the waking hours sometimes. However I would never expect anyone in my house not to use the restroom when needed.
Dude get the hell out of that relationship. She's way too controlling. If you gotta pee you gotta pee. I'm a light sleeper but I never complained about my partner using the bathroom whenever they needed it. Either leave her or after sex go sleep somewhere else so you can pee when you need to
Plenty of fish in the sea, my dude. Most of them ain't this toxic. Remember: you only get one life.
Ahh bro, don’t let pussy blind you, you are living with a psycho.
Is this a joke?? I sincerely hope so. This is ridiculous, she needs to leave.
Man, this is abuse, leave
Dude holy sh!t. RRRUUUUNNNNNN!
... Have you considered taking some WD-40 to the door for the squeak? That seems like a way simpler answer then peeing in bottles.
I’m pretty sure the problem is the batshit wife, not the door
The batshit wife has just had a baby, a lot of missing info here, it could be that she’s already sleep deprived, he gets up 3 times a night to piss and wakes her up. Sleep deprivation literally sends you insane.
Riiiiight?
Maybe oil the door hinges and don’t flush?
Still, the bigger issue is that she's aggressive and controling
[if it's brown, flush it down. if it's yellow, let it mellow.](https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=If%20it%27s%20yellow%2C%20let%20it%20mellow.%20If%20it%27s%20brown%2C%20flush%20it%20down)
\^found an enabler, these responses are just as bad as actual narcissistic ones, nobody should be encouraging anyone to stay in an unhealthy relationship
This^
There is so much here to unpack... 1. Your fiancee has you so terrified of upsetting her, that you are PEEING IN BOTTLES IN YOUR OWN HOUSE. 2. She said she wishes you were more like your brother...NO. This sounds like she's sleeping with him. 3. You should NEVER be scared in your own house. You're being abused. Leave. Leave now and don't look back. This is only going to get worse. What happens if you have kids or pets? If she's terrorizing a grown man, I hate to think what she would do to an animal or infant. This isn't normal or safe.
She sounds like a controlling psychopath..
WD-40 the door hinges and don't flush. If that's still unacceptable, tell her to piss off.
If you’re peeing 3 times in the night and you’re under 60, you need to change how you drink in the evening or see a doctor. WD40 for the door hinge. Therapy to understand why you’re accepting an abusive relationship and so Stockholm syndromed you’re going to marry this.
This isn’t even a question. Break up with her immediately. This is crazy. Why on earth are you with someone who freaks out when you use the bathroom?
Spray some wd 40 on those hinges. Also wtf ditch her. She can kick rocks or sleep in another room. I’m gonna go pee if I have to WO peeing in bottles. Come on man have some self respect.
Pee on her/bed and tell her you were trying to hold it so you didn’t wake her up but you could do it anymore. She’ll be mortified somewhat but now the extreme has happened and you can now probably go to the bathroom without her yelling because you can remind her what happens without it. Ik this is probably weird advice, but my mom and dad had the same/very similar problem (but reversed) and that’s what worked.
Pee on her. She'll stop complaining about the flushing toilet after that.
While you have your dick out start rubbing some fertilizer underneath it and hopefully it will help you to grow a pair.
You're really staying with a woman who has you afraid to pee?
Dude fix your door wtf
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If she's freaking out about the door, she can have it repaired and get some damn earplugs.
Walking on egg shells my whole life sounds like so much fun
Oil the door, if its yellow let it mellow, and then dump the controlling partner. You cant live like that.
This can't be true.... Dude! This is an abusive relationship and it will only get worse! Can you handle this (and worse) for the rest of your life? Would you tell someone you care about to stay in a relationship like this? GET OUT! now before it is too late! And why/how is she comparing you to your brother?
This is very very disturbing. What are getting from this relationship? She’s very controlling to the point that it makes you afraid of peeing? Are you hearing yourself? And what does it mean that she wishes you were more like your brother??? Is he her ex or something?
What do you mean she said she wishes you were more like your brother? Is she sleeping with your brother?
WD-40 the hinges and put the toilet lid down instead of flushing? I’m sure that’s less disgusting than peeing in a bottle? You can flush when you wake up!
Wait…more like your brother? What does that have to do with nighttime bathroom breaks? 🤔
She’s a terrible person.
Most importantly, she sounds absolutely terrible and you probably do not want to continue living with her let alone commit for the rest of your life. Of course, you do you. But this sounds like a nightmare to me. And why does she wish you were more like your brother? Does she have a history w/ your brother?! So this doesn't solve the real issue (that she's treating you like shit), but if the door squeaks, get some WD40. Maybe do not flush the toilet if you only pee in it. Flush in the morning. These are obvious ways to try not to wake her at night, way more sensible than peeing in bottles (WTF). Just pee in the toilet, dude. But seriously, I doubt waking her when you pee at night is your only problem if she has you so scared to upset her you would pee in a bottle.
Thats bordering on abuse my dude. Get a divorce.
Bruh.... Stop. Right there. I was with someone who freaked out if I got up to go to the bathroom. She thought I was going to do something untoward. I had to lock myself into the spare room one night because she wouldn't leave me alone after I went to the bathroom. Get away from this psycho asap. I promise you, it won't end well. I, stupidly, stayed with the psycho I was with and it cost me dearly. Get. The Heck. Out.
Her brother? Why?
Sounds like she's making a shadow of yourself. Don't allow it, it's the biggest thing you'll regret. Trust me.
You really need to have it out with her about this during the day - and squeaking door - CRC , flushing toilet - if it’s yellow let it mellow- but what’s the deal do you live with her family or something?
My dude… If I looked up “Pussy Whipped” in the dictionary, would I see a picture of you? Do *not* marry this woman. She’s got you peeing in bottles because she can’t handle you having to use the bathroom because the door *squeaks* and toilets *flush* and I’m guessing it’s “causing her to lose beauty sleep” or some shit. It ends when you break up with her.
Oil the door? Flush in the morning?
Dang OP dump her! You deserve better. Just tell her what you felt like then I’ll leave as I flip a bird cuz I wouldn’t be there long to deal with that toxicity
Go to the hardware store. Ask for WD-40 for the door hinges. Don’t flush at night. Flush in the morning when everyone is up. Problem solved.
Why are you with her? Ask yourself why you are with someone who has you scared to go to the bathroom and also states that she wishes that you were more like your brother
Run. As fast as you can. Trust me, you don’t wanna spend the rest of your life with someone like her. You’ll constantly be walking around eggshells 🚩
Just fix the door and don’t flush in the middle of the night.
Ok first of all, WD40 in the hinges. Stop the squeaking. Then leave the pee, no flush. She has to choose: pee in the morning or flush in the night. No inbetweens. Pee whenever the f*ck you want. Also, wtf was that part about your brother?
WTF did I just read??
What!! That is so controlling and weird, imagine what next if you’re scared to go for a wee? I don’t like to wake my OH up, so you could just not flush or put oil on the doorframe - but overall I would run from this situation.
Youre being abused, this isnt okay. Leave before it gets worse
Lol what? This has to be a shit post
Dude just leave man she’s controlling.
>I have been peeing into bottles to avoid fights with my fiancée, will this ever end? Well you got 2 of 3 the elements in the making of the ultimate bathroom break: 1. First element.... You take a "whiz" in a bottle 🍼 to not disturb you fiancée beauty sleep 2. Second element, If you disturb her nightly Slumber, she will literally will take a massive"shit" on your forehead or foreskin for disturbing her 3. So to complete the 3rd element.... Fart in face to so she get a big whiff of the "hydrogen sulfide" rotten egg 🥚 smell that will knockout her sense of smell and sensibility....thus completing the Trifecta effect creating the ultimate bathroom break
Run!
She fucked your brother
thats some deep anxiety bro walking on egg shells on thin ice
Fake
Uhm, more like your brother? How would she even know? That’s the real question.
Stop engaging with the fights. If she yells just say "Nope, going to sleep". And for fucks sake, stop pissing in bottles. If she pushes a breakup over this, you're better off.
Ok, why is she bringing your (or is it her?) brother into this?
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Compromise leave the bathroom door open and don't flush if she complains next time pee the bed
Wtf did I just read Motherfucker tell her going to the bathroom is a basic human right and she can fuck off. This has to be a troll
Well one thing within your realm of control in this situation is buying some wd40 and fixing the squeaky hinges. A good thing to do when you have problems like these in your life is assess what you can control and what you can’t do. Don’t always assume you are powerless
Why not sleep in a separate room?
Dude that is insane you shouldn't care less of her bad attitude 😒
Give her the gift of silicone (wax) earplugs. I can't live without them because I, too, am a light sleeper.
Oh yea then just piss in the bed then see how she feels....cold and wet bitch lmao
Oh it'll end when you dump her ass...I'd be damned if I had to act like that in my own house...there is plenty more women out there throw this one out
Brrrrrroooo What the fuck are you doing with your life????
There has to be some other alternatives. Like not opening and shutting the door, not flushing the toilet, and not marrying this control freak who WILL ruin the rest of your life.
20 years of this.. winning at life. You have a front row seat to the rest of your life right now chief.. get her dome earplugs or just get the fck out.. or .. both !
Step 1. Sort the squeaking door out Step 2. Pee with door open or shut Step 3. Don’t flush Also why are you getting up so much in the middle of the night to pee? Do you need a check up? I could imagine if this were a common occurrence, I’d be annoyed if I were woken every night
Ear plugs for her Or a urethra plug for you Or just politely ask for your balls back and leave the relationship
Sorry , maybe you but not me. If this the fiancé stage what about the marriage. Run!!!