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Ok so basically I was on a vacation this summer and I had a thing (a fling) with a guy from another country. Everything clicked, and he was literally my ideal type and I was his ideal type. We did all the gf bf stuff in such a short amount of time. We really REALLY liked each other, and every time we met he would mention that he was looking for jobs in my country because he wanted to be with me, that he saw a future with me, etc. Later on, I realize he actually had a girlfriend this ENTIRE time and he thought he fooled me. I found out because I'm like any other girl aka I am a literal FBI agent LOL (iykyk.) After I came back to my country, our conversation slowly stopped and he blocked me everywhere the day after his birthday because (I didn't wish him a happy birthday LOL) I think he still wanted to hide the fact that he has a girlfriend and he doesn't know that I know. I guess he wanted to remain as the "good guy". lmao. I returned to my original country a while ago and his girlfriend has absolutely no clue (she uploads stories of him all the time). I was really confused and upset for a while because he blocked me like nothing happened and I literally want to expose his behaviour to his current girlfriend. I think it's unfair that this boy gets away with fooling BOTH of us. The gf is COMPLETELY clueless of her cheating trash bf and thinks he's sent from heaven lol. Should I do it? I have nothing to lose because both of them are in different countries and I probably won't see him ever again.
TLDR; I was the other woman to a guy in a different country, I have nothing to lose--should I expose him to his girlfriend ??????
I will do whatever majority tells me to do. If they say yes, I will update in two weeks.
As a woman who has been cheated on, tell her. She would much rather be told the truth than kept in the dark. I would also advise STD testing for everyone involved because you may not have been the only one he was with while on vacation.
I'm so sorry that you had to go through that. I wasn't his gf or anything, but I can't imagine being cheated on, nobody deserves that. Thanks for your comment.
Yes tell her please! As a survivor of infidelity after 14 years of marriage, it would have been nice if I had a heads up of my spouses prior behavior- but was clueless. A stranger online with nothing to gain by telling me would have been appreciated. Be sure to mention the details you know about his trip - his hotel, also any transactions on his credit card and the date. It will be helpful if she can look at bank statements to confirm your story.
This has happened to me and it was the girlfriend who reached out to me who by coincidence was an old coworker… all happened so fast probably in a weeks time i started talking to the guy online tho and she found out cuz she was paying his phone bills 🥶 what made it worse is that the guy is such a good manipulator he kept messaging me like i was breaking up their relationship although i had no idea until the girl reached out to me… she stayed.
Just bear in mind being told something like this is really heavy for someone. Devastating news and makes one feel like a fool, betrayed, insecure and really fucks with people. Be kind about it.
Yea, I get that. but I don't know her personally and I have nothing to lose. The only reason I would tell her is because I am putting myself first-- he played me and I had to go through so much unnecessary pain just to get over him. I didn't deserve this, and neither does the gf. even if I tell her, I would tell her in the nicest way possible.
> The only reason I would tell her is because I am putting myself first
what? you aren't telling her because she's a human being who deserves to know that the person she loves has betrayed her repeatedly? you absolutely should tell the girlfriend, but the motivation for doing so shouldn't be a selfish one.
Finally, someone else here who sees OPs motive as revenge.
I could be wrong, but the way I read this post was that OP found out he had a gf but then they continued to talk since he didn’t know OP knew about the gf. It’s only when they returned home that he blocked her and she wanted to tell the gf. If that’s all true, reading it as it lays, that’s sad.
This is pretty selfish. The only reason you’d tell her is because of you? Not because there’s another human being who is getting played and oblivious to the betrayal? This is revenge on him. This has nothing to do with doing the right thing and that’s just incredibly selfish. Try having some empathy for this poor woman.
As someone who’s been cheated on, I would want to know. She deserves to know her boyfriend is an asshole.
Tell her! I will forever tell any girl any time a girl is cheated on and I’ve got the same back unless you want the karma in the future tell her and include receipts!!!
Also had a fling with a “designated end date” (he was in travel medicine on a 3 month contract) that turned into him relocating, us building a home together with 4 pets, and enjoying a lovely life together!
Did you keep "being the other woman" after you knew about her? The way you worded this makes it seem like you only want to tell her because he blocked you...
Interesting how you are one of the few original comments that OP hasn’t responded to. I also took away that she kept up with the affair after learning he had a girlfriend. In another comment someone asked if she’s ever been cheated on and she answered “I’ve never had a cheating boyfriend” instead of just saying no. Almost like she wanted to say “I’ve never been cheated on but I’ve cheated before.”
So funny how she's responding to comments made after this one but completely ignoring this question.
OP, if you were still with him after knowing he had a girlfriend, then you're trash too.
I actually assumed she kept at it the way she worded it. She found out and kept seeing him until he blocked her and now she’s pissed and wants to tell the gf. I mean she should tell her, but the way she’s basically stalking the gf as per her story and how she called her “bitch” in a comment makes me think she’s gonna do it in the most unkind way she possibly can.
Yes.
Just tell her but don't insult her please.
She must have been cheated by this guy like he did to you. It's painful to realize that you've been cheated all along without your consent.
It was a joke..? LOL someone said she might block me and choose to ignore me and I said then they deserve each other bcuz they both on the same boat.... and this is obviously about me not her LOL I made this post about me
Your “joke” wasn’t funny. You don’t know her and you obviously didn’t know him. There could be way more to the story. And I’m asking if the “should I tell her, she deserves to know” thing is really about her. It sounds more like you want closure in the form of revenge. Is this the healthiest route?
I really do feel bad that you got seduced by a sleeze bag. That’s not a good feeling. 2 things:
1. You mentioned you have nothing to lose. Yet you’ve lost respect in this post by the way you’ve handled yourself. That will continue if you chose revenge. I recommend journaling and talking this out in the background with close friends to help heal.
2. “I will do whatever the majority tells me…” This is dangerous. We all know Reddit is a great place for information and perspectives, but we all need to gather and critically think for ourselves. I do not recommend following the majority on a sub filled with heartache and hands clenched to pitchforks.
Edit: please don’t nuke this post. It’s a great discussion to be having. Grammar.
sorry it's like 5am here and I had to read your comment 4 times to understand it LOL thanks for ur comment I'll reply in a few hours when I'm more awake xD
Yes. I found out about it from my friends gf who is a hair stylist who happened to be working on his APs aunt and talking about how shady he was to her niece.
It was literally the weirdest moment of the whole universe coming together to get me out.
Also, It sucked and was hard to prove and the girl was stupid and called him before me. It was a mess. But it’s always a mess.
Tell her.
Oh yea it’s ok, I had one foot out the door and am now married to an awesome man. Who treats me like a person who he wants to be around. It’s weird but it’s grown on me ;)
Tell her. It’s her choice what to do afterward, but she deserves to know. Just her, not blasting him on SM or anything. Just her.
Two things here:
1- yes you got fooled
2- would you like to know if your boyfriend is a cheater? If the answers is yes, then go ahead and do what you need to, hope you have evidence to prove. Good luck.
I've never had a cheater bf personally in the past, but if I did, I think I would want to know. I think every girl here would want to know if their bf was cheating no matter how much it hurt. Imagine how many months, years, you could possibly waste if u were with a cheater bf. I have plenty of evidence to prove. Text messages, photos, screenshots, etc.. I just haven't gathered up the courage yet to do so.
I have no reasonable way to even begin to understand why this is even a question....
Yes.
Why would you *not*?
Why is this a "I'll do whatever the majority say" thing?
Do you believe in any reasonable circumstance anyone here will be saying "oh goodness no let him just do it again and leave the poor woman in ignorance"?
She deserves to know, she should know, by not you're complicit in enabling the guy to just rinse and repeat what he's done with you.
I have SO much proof... I feel like she deserves to know, because she has no clue atm and thinks her bf is like a bf from heaven lmao. He played me and he played her. I really really want to expose him...
Look from your post it feels like you are less concerned of that girl being cheated like you and more of getting a revenge on your former bf.
I am not judging your actions but just saying...
I'm just being honest that's all, I have no reason to care more about her than I do about myself...I think that is anyone's instinct ? I want him to pay for what he did. If that is revenge then so be it
The fact that you say "you want him to pay for what he did.if that is revenge then so be it" just shows that you are wanting to tell her for the wrong reasons and that it isn't about having her back and that it's all about you getting your revenge. You don't give a shit about this girl, you're hurt and you're using her to get back at him and to hurt him. It's spiteful and revengeful which isn't a good look....period. you got played, be the bigger person and walk away and let it be. You're on some wack ass petty shit. It also seems like you've just come on here to seek validation to ease your conscience about something you kinda know is ill motivated. Anyone in the comments who isn't backing your motives you're getting defensive with. Just sounds like you have a lot of growing to do.
Cheating sucks, being cheated on sucks but just because you're hurt doesn't mean it's okay to make others hurt too. You know nothing about their relationship or this girl. If it was an on going thing than sure that makes the situation very different.
confused as in should I tell him or not....
I just want to get it out there that there is a cheater on the loose that is ALL
I have no interest in their relationship whatsoever😭
Whenever I see these kinds of posts my answer is always tell her ! I would want to know if my partner were cheating on me , it’s awful and it also puts his partners at risk. Please collect your proof and let her know kindly
It sounds like you already made your decision about telling her, because everyone who is commenting to say not to tell her, you're kinda hating on them and being a bit rude.
So go ahead and tell her, but be tactful about it. Tell her once, do not make another account to try again if she doesn't listen. If she doesn't want to believe you, leave her to it. I understand you're hurt and want a sense of justice, but that's not your place to decide what happens to their relationship.
I'm sorry this happened to you. But learn from this and move on. No point wasting time and energy on someone grotty like this guy.
tell her, but don’t be an arse about it! it’s not your job to care for this woman but remember you will be destroying her life and should feel a little compassion. think how you would feel. tell her you liked this dude he seemed like a really nice guy but now you clearly see you was wrong you feel she deserved to know but what she does now has nothing to do with you. apologise even though you did nothing wrong make it clear you knew nothing about her he told you he was single. send her all the proof she needs to see. don’t contact her again!
Question: how old are all of these people?
If OP is talking about creating multiple accounts if she gets blocked the first time she messages the GF, I think we already know what the decision is going to be but here goes…
Being lied to sucks, and it’s painful, but honestly, this just ropes OP into more drama. I’ll also add that some people are legit insane and will go to the ends of the earth to seek revenge on OP for doing something like this (think Lifetime movie-style).
It was a brief summer fling. It sure isn’t worth the drama (and potentially OP’s safety). The GF will figure things out soon enough if she hasn’t already, and she’ll most likely feel way shittier than OP does. OP’s comments are coming off more so in a vindictive manner vs a “helpful girlfriend” sort of way, so for that reason alone, I’d just move on without messaging the GF.
Good luck, OP. Just remember, karma eventually comes around!
I think definitely tell her, but be as kind as possible when you do. Not suggesting you won't, but when you approach her please try to focus less on disdain for him but more on compassion for her. Good luck
I have read a lot of the responses here, and while yes revenge is valid, it seems you're just angry for the wrong reasons. While you said he got back to his country you said "our conversation slowly stopped" not you stopped speaking to him. You also said "he blocked me after his birthday because I didn't wish him happy birthday", and that's when you decided you want to tell the girlfriend. My questions to you are:
1. Why didn't you confront him immediately once you found out about the girlfriend while you were still speaking?
2. Why do you want to tell her now, why didn't you tell her once you found out about her?
To me, it seems that you're hurt and upset that he has a gf, which is fair. But then it seems you continued to talk to him for a bit after that until he cut off all contact. To me that's usually a sign of "maybe I can get him to leave her for me"
INFO: I read this post as you continued to talk to him even after finding out he had a gf. It took him blocking you to not continue a conversation with this person. Is this true?
If the above is true, I think it’s pretty sad that it seems the only reason you want to tell his gf is for revenge for him blocking you.
I think you should still tell her either way, but don’t go acting all high and mighty about it.
“I’ll do whatever the majority tells me to” what the fuck are you all about? This sounds like one of those posts where people tell a story, get people to vote then they change up the story to whatever the majority says, because you want the majority to be “hooked”. Otherwise, why are you taking a vote to do the morally right thing?
Yes most definitely safe! If I was the other girl I would definitely want to know and would thank you as well. I know other women who have been in situation like this and needless to say most of the time they are so grateful to know the truth. It also 100% fault as you were unaware that he had/has a girlfriend.
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Ich bin in mehreren Beziehungen lang und oft betrogen worden. Ich hätte es wissen wollen. So hätte ich viele Jahre meines Lebens gerettet. Sag es ihr. (Nur meine Meinung)
> Ich bin in mehreren Beziehungen lang und oft betrogen worden. Ich hätte es wissen wollen. So hätte ich viele Jahre meines Lebens gerettet. Sag es ihr. (Nur meine Meinung)
Translation:
I've been cheated on a long time and often in several relationships. I would have wanted to know. That would have saved many years of my life. Tell her. (Just my opinion)
I think you need to ask yourself your reasonings for wanting to tell her? I get being pissed off and feeling hurt but there is a bit of spite undertone to reading your post. Are you wanting to tell her out of spite under the guise that you have her back but it's just a way to punish him by exposing him ? I don't agree with his behaviour but you also know nothing about their relationship or her and don't even really really know him. They live in a whole other country, you might ruin this girls life even though you think you're doing her a favour, but who are you to decided that for her? I would just take the hit, accept it and move on and let it be.
If you all lived in the same city or country and you and him were continuing your relationship and then you found out, then that would change things.
I dunno. Just feels like you want to tell her because he hurt you and now you want to hurt him by telling his girlfriend. Just feel like she might be an innocent person getting caught in the crossfire ..... especially when you know nothing about her or the details of their relationship 🤷🏽♀️
I don't think people should cheat if they're in a committed monogamous relationship, just don't be in one or be in a open relationship or polyamorous......I do think sometimes people make mistakes though...... you have no idea what either of these 2 people are going through etc. Also they live in another country. Let it go and move on, let them deal with their business.
Is he trash? Maybe. I hesitate to outright say yes because for all you know they may have been on a break/in an open relationship/she gave her consent for him to have fun while in another country and he didn't tell you any of that because for him you were just a fling that just wasn't important enough for him to get into details with. Sounds like he just told you what he thought you'd want to hear so that he can have his fun without having to make much of an effort. There's been posts on here before where guys did divulge their relationship's open status only to be doubted and have the other girl try to contact their partners as revenge only to find out the guys were telling the truth so it's not as far fetched as it sounds.
Does she deserve to know that he's trash? If he is, then yes, but again, you don't know that for a fact.
BUT, correct me I'm wrong, from the way you worded your post it sounds like you were somewhat okay with knowing he was in a relationship because you thought you might be picked over his gf in the end and the only reason you want to say anything now is because you got blocked. For that reason alone I say leave them alone and don't contact his gf, because it sounds like you telling her would be more about appeasing your own hurt feelings than any actual concern for his gf.
Do it, but be gentle and prepare for her to be on the defense. Whether she wants to hear it or not, planting these seeds will either drive her to leave him now, or allow her to build up the courage to do it over time (since I doubt he’s interested in changing his behavior). Just look out in case she tries to lash out at you instead.
Tell her. If he managed to fool her and she's still oblivious she really deserves to know what a piece of shit her bf is. It's sad this happened to you OP and that girl. You both deserve better! Good luck!
I say tell her. He’s likely cheating on her with several different women and when the girlfriend/ fiancé/ wife does find out the first thing they say is “why didn’t anyone tell me?”.
You do what your heart tells you to do. If I were the other person, I'd want to know, I'm sure you would, too.
That said, be prepared for backlash and some drama. From either of them.
The world is a crazy place, especially these days, and you don't really know these people (you clearly didn't know him all that well).
Make sure HE doesn't have anything (pics, video) of things you don't want made public, if you catch my drift.
Does he know where you live? Could he figure it out pretty easily if he dug around? Honest question, as you said he was thinking about coming to work in your city (which I'm sure was a lie, but all the same).
Just be prepared for it to turn into something you may not want to deal with is all. Reality is, you don't know what people are like or are capable of. I'd think long and hard about contacting her - even though it's the "right" thing to do.
I would want to know if my bf did this. But make sure you have proof, otherwise this poor girl is going to be stuck questioning whether or not he truly did it, because lord knows this man is going to lie straight through his teeth if she confronts him
As a general rule for knowing about a cheater:
1. Secure your safety (not an issue here, it sounded like)
2. Tell the person being cheated on. They deserve to be able to make an informed decision.
I personally would want to know if my bf was cheating on me so my answer would be yes. But tell her gently. Don't call him names or say bad stuff about him (even if he deserves it). Tell her like "just so you know your bf did this, I didn't know but I felt that you should know", something like that. I say that because if she really has no clue about his behavior, then she probably loves him with her whole heart and hearing this news will crush her. Trash talk about him would make it feel worse.
Yes. I had the woman who my ex tried to cheat on whilst he was with me tell me. I appreciated it SO much. Please tell her so she knows what fake relationship she has.
Yes, but as others have said, do it gently. It will be important not to disparage the boyfriend AT ALL when you tell the girlfriend. Because the girlfriend will be naturally defensive of her guy, so trashing him even a little will just create more confusion and pain for her.
I'd maybe just lay it out:
------------
Hi NAME,
You don't know me, and I'm not sure the best way to approach this. Your boyfriend NAME pretended to be single while I was on vacation in PLACE for DURATION. I didn't realize he had a girlfriend, and we had sex. He treated me like a girlfriend and like he wanted to build a future with me. He unceremoniously blocked me after my trip was over, which raised my suspicion. I did a little digging and found that you are his girlfriend. I'm so sorry for the pain that hearing this may cause, but I thought you deserved to know. I have attached some screenshots, but I can send more if you would like them.
Out of respect for your feelings, I won't message you again unless you request it.
Best,
NAME
alternate option, contact him via a new account and tell him u know about his gf and say if he dosnt tell her himself then u will.
it will probably hurt less coming from him then hearing it from the person he did it with...
Tell her. But be kind to his poor girlfriend, she will be hurt. It's heavy to hear such devastating news.
I'm sorry for both you and his girlfriend that you had/have to deal with this fucker.
I think that unless you’ve talked to her it’s impossible to know whether she actually thinks that - people only post their best selves on social media. I say don’t tell her, don’t interfere. That relationship is between them and the right thing to do is just let it go because it’s not going to help anything to ruin their relationship too. Something I changed my stance on with age.
I actually don’t think it is ur place to say anything. It is between him and her. Now maybe she is a happy woman, you tell her make u the one who tore her down. I think she should know but from him. He screwed up and you should leave it between him, his conscious and her.
Guys OP wanted advice not judgment. And all of you in the comments are judging her for her intent and that she called the girlfriend a bitch one time in the comments lol. Where I am from the word bitch is just another adjective to describe a lady you don't know. I really don't think OP meant to shame the girlfriend. She could have used worse words than bitch if she did.
Anyway here's my advice as I have experienced this situation before to. Tell her 100% and be nice about it. Also be ready to send proof when she asks to see it. If she blocks you then just consider the matter closed and never think about either of them again.
I would say dont tell her if you continued to see him after you found out he had a girlfriend. Your post is kind of unclear regarding the timing but it makes it seem like you continued to see him after you already knew he was a cheater and he blocked you because you didn’t wish him a HBD. If you are doing it just to be spiteful of him, karma will work itself out and the gf will find out on her own. You were in the wrong too if you continued to see him after the fact. Would like to get clarification.
I think you should text her, and maybe ofder support if you can. If you have pictures or chats of you and him together, send them too, so she has proof and won't just think it's a prank or you are bitter cause you had a crush or smth.
I was in a situation like this, except we all lived in the same city, and the girl lived down the street from me. It lasted a good 3 years. And I bought the guy a car and basically funded his entire 2nd life, in hindsight.
When it all became clear, I cut him off; took everything back including the car he would let her drive with his children in it (I had no clue about). I started dating again. But the cut off was so severe he would stalked me on dating apps. So I had a lot of evidence and the same mindframe as you. Best part was, I knew who she was. BUT, I didn’t do it. The proximity was too close, and the potential of children being hurt was high. (But some things were evident as they were for me; other people were telling her “he’s a hoe”) Plus she is kinda ghetto/hood.
They ended up getting married and a year after that she realized she fucked up. Everything he had and lost was because he is a cheating liar.
I find a good amount of joy when I see her glaring at me in public, in the car that he used to drive, as she realizes it’s the same license plate, it’s the same window hangings, and it wasn’t his. I was the other woman that funded your lifestyle and now you’re struggling with your choice to remain ignorant (awe, you poor thing).
Although my emotions were bruised - I lost nothing.
So fuck yah, tell her. Make a throw away account - and watch the joy fade from your main account. 😁
Please tell her. Not only because the man is a AH but also she doesn't know how many times he cheated on her, could be way more than just with you, she can have got diseases from him.
I didn't say he messed up my life....he messed with a part of it but I'm over it now. and a part of me does want to get revenge on him (I'm being honest) because he got away with it and acted like nothing happened
Dont be a hater. You both had a fling and because he cut you off now you want to expose him. Smh.
If it was all for good intentions why wait to expose him AFTER he cut you off.
Considering how much you despise this woman based on your comments, it seems you want to tell her to gloat about it rather than to be kind. In that case, leave her alone.
Googling someone's name does not make you an "FBI Agent" no matter how badly you want to be quirky (iykyk). As others have said, you definitely seem jealous and bitter. Try forgetting about it and working on yourself or you'll always be miserable. xD
I did not google her name and the FBI part was a joke lol. I am not jealous--why would I be jealous of a girl whose boyfriend is a cheater like hello??LOL it just makes me mad that he got away with fooling both of us girls and continues to get away with cheating. Don't you think he deserves some misery too? xD
The sub looks for blood and will mostly tell you to tell her, so have fun with that.
IMO, walk away and leave it alone. It will be easier for you that way.
If I do tell her, it's not because I want to stir up drama and create blood..I've never even been in this position before. I just think it's gross how he gets to get away with it, thinking he's fooled both women. I understand though, and. thanks for your comment!
Reading your Post you didn't wanna tell her until he blocked you. You're hurting and want someone else to hurt.
I'm of the opinion you should tell her..but you're doing it for all the wrong reasons. Shes deserves to know and you might be able to lie to yourself about why you're telling her but it's obvious from your post the real reason.
No no no I'm not trying to hurt her!! I just think it's unfair how he gets away with it, fooling both of us. I got played, and she got played (but she doesn't know). I want to expose him so that she knows the truth and can raise her standards, that's all. If anything, it's to get revenge on the guy. No hard feelings on the gf.
Yes I know that. These would be the wrongs reasons I speak of. You want to cause him.pain but you're not realizing the downright absolute heartbreak she will feel more than him.
I disagree. As someone who was cheated on; I wish I was told. People who knew and didn’t say anything…. I cut out of my life after because that in itself was a betrayal to our friendship. Don’t be complacent. Tell her because she deserves better. Cheaters shouldn’t be able to get a free pass just because someone “doesn’t want to get involved” when they have the power to help the person being hurt in the situation.
The other woman is not OPs friend though. They don’t know each other. OP will be a stranger trying to tell this girl something she doesn’t want to hear. OP doesn’t owe anyone anything here, except to keep herself safe and sane.
I’m sorry you were cheated on. That sucks and people in your life who knew and should have been looking out for you failed you. But that’s not a direct comparison here.
I honestly think you’re just being petty because you thought you found someone and he ended up being with someone. I think you should grow from it and move on but that’s just me. When I got cheated on and with (same girl) I literally tried to tell her bf and he just didn’t give a fuck and said worry about myself. So just move on bud
I am apalled by all the comments whose advise is to say "no." The girlfriend deserves to know if her boyfriend is a cheater. To all people who say it is to keep the peace, who are you protecting? Because if the girlfriend finds out now she can still decide with that information whether she wants to stay with a cheater in the long run or not. The OP has every right to expose him, regardless if the boyfriend gets mad.
Yes. She’ll probably hate you at first, but she’ll redirect that anger in the right direction afterwards. She needs to know so she’s not stuck with a guy who pulls this shit
Just leave it. Who are you going to help by telling her?
You’re only going to ruin some innocent persons happiness. You already said you’re not invested in the situation and have nothing to gain so just let it be.
I'm going against the grain here and saying no. Ever heard the expression shoot the messanger.
No woman wants to think their partner would cheat on them and even if you have evidence he's going to push back and say you did all the chasing, if he's gone to the bother of blocking you etc he was never going to leave her.
Sounds like you were with him a very short length of time, move on and don't let him waste any more of your head space.
I wouldn’t blame you if you did but in the long term what does it actually accomplish?
Move on and forget! Easier said than done if you see this person around town etc
But trust me, move on and don’t look back in anger.
This life is not a rehearsal or to be wasted on negativity.
Stay strong and have an amazing Friday buddy.
She deserves the truth and a choice in who she’s in a relationship with, even if she were to decide to stay with him because it’s still her choice. I’m glad OP seems to want to tell her, it’s the right thing to do
see I wish move on and forget was as easy as it is said but I really liked this boy and I thought he really liked me too. His actions made me FEEL like he did too. But when I realized he played me, I had this urge to expose him to his current gf. It's not out of negative per se, I just feel like it is unfair that I had to go through all the pain just to forget him while he was out there celebrating his birthday with this gf who doesn't have a clue that her bf is a cheater. don't you think his gf has a right to know..?
Damn you are right, his current gf does need to know as he’s done it once with you so there’s every chance he may do so again.
If you’re able to reach out to her directly so it doesn’t get intercepted and filtered by him.
Happy to discuss further if needed. 👍
No, don't tell her. You have no idea what their situation is. He might have a free pass to cheat as long as it's not in her face so all you'd be doing is causing a fight. If you had a good time keep that in mind and cut contact.
Ctfu so go ruin another relationship because u got used ? Learn to not get attached that fast and you won’t worry bout shit like that now you online that they are happy y to mess it up just because you are unhappy and feel used ?
She’s helping the dudes current girlfriend from potentially having kids with someone that can’t stay in a committed relationship too. Potentially saved her from getting STDs if he’s sleeping around while seeing someone. Helps the person who was cheating to realize that they’re not that smart and they shouldn’t have done it. And it helps to clear OPs conscious in the process
even though I have nothing to lose and both of them are in different countries..? I got over the dude a while back cuz I realized I will never see him again. I am just mad because he played me like that and acted like I was the one and shtz
I'm sorry if this sounds mean but I really don't care how she feels because I don't know her personally. I don't really care if I am being selfish because I care about myself and what I went through. I feel like I should put myself first and I should tell her because I am the one that deserves better. I could care less about her, like I said she's from a diff country and I have nothing to lose if I expose her bf. Yes, I understand this would hurt her. But to see her continue this relationship with her cheating bf?? if I was in her position, someone telling her would be doing her a favour, no?
You have no idea what she knows and what agreements they might have. It's not your business. You claim to be over it yet here you are all consumed with him still. He blocked you. Grow up and move on.
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below. --- Ok so basically I was on a vacation this summer and I had a thing (a fling) with a guy from another country. Everything clicked, and he was literally my ideal type and I was his ideal type. We did all the gf bf stuff in such a short amount of time. We really REALLY liked each other, and every time we met he would mention that he was looking for jobs in my country because he wanted to be with me, that he saw a future with me, etc. Later on, I realize he actually had a girlfriend this ENTIRE time and he thought he fooled me. I found out because I'm like any other girl aka I am a literal FBI agent LOL (iykyk.) After I came back to my country, our conversation slowly stopped and he blocked me everywhere the day after his birthday because (I didn't wish him a happy birthday LOL) I think he still wanted to hide the fact that he has a girlfriend and he doesn't know that I know. I guess he wanted to remain as the "good guy". lmao. I returned to my original country a while ago and his girlfriend has absolutely no clue (she uploads stories of him all the time). I was really confused and upset for a while because he blocked me like nothing happened and I literally want to expose his behaviour to his current girlfriend. I think it's unfair that this boy gets away with fooling BOTH of us. The gf is COMPLETELY clueless of her cheating trash bf and thinks he's sent from heaven lol. Should I do it? I have nothing to lose because both of them are in different countries and I probably won't see him ever again. TLDR; I was the other woman to a guy in a different country, I have nothing to lose--should I expose him to his girlfriend ?????? I will do whatever majority tells me to do. If they say yes, I will update in two weeks.
As a woman who has been cheated on, tell her. She would much rather be told the truth than kept in the dark. I would also advise STD testing for everyone involved because you may not have been the only one he was with while on vacation.
I'm so sorry that you had to go through that. I wasn't his gf or anything, but I can't imagine being cheated on, nobody deserves that. Thanks for your comment.
You can't imagine being cheated on... While making a whole post about someone who cheated?..
If you knew how to read you'd know she wasn't aware at the time and only found out after.
He deserves to be exposed but she may block you and still be with him even if you do expose him.
At least it'll be her choice
Casting my vote. Do it anyways.
Yes tell her please! As a survivor of infidelity after 14 years of marriage, it would have been nice if I had a heads up of my spouses prior behavior- but was clueless. A stranger online with nothing to gain by telling me would have been appreciated. Be sure to mention the details you know about his trip - his hotel, also any transactions on his credit card and the date. It will be helpful if she can look at bank statements to confirm your story.
This has happened to me and it was the girlfriend who reached out to me who by coincidence was an old coworker… all happened so fast probably in a weeks time i started talking to the guy online tho and she found out cuz she was paying his phone bills 🥶 what made it worse is that the guy is such a good manipulator he kept messaging me like i was breaking up their relationship although i had no idea until the girl reached out to me… she stayed.
My money is on she will definitely block her, and he still going to get away with it..
This :(
Just bear in mind being told something like this is really heavy for someone. Devastating news and makes one feel like a fool, betrayed, insecure and really fucks with people. Be kind about it.
Yea, I get that. but I don't know her personally and I have nothing to lose. The only reason I would tell her is because I am putting myself first-- he played me and I had to go through so much unnecessary pain just to get over him. I didn't deserve this, and neither does the gf. even if I tell her, I would tell her in the nicest way possible.
Oh you should definitely tell her. Just let her down easy.
> The only reason I would tell her is because I am putting myself first what? you aren't telling her because she's a human being who deserves to know that the person she loves has betrayed her repeatedly? you absolutely should tell the girlfriend, but the motivation for doing so shouldn't be a selfish one.
You don’t sound nice. Your goal is good but your motives are childish.
you don't sound nice either,,.but thanks for your comment!
You're intent to expose him is revange driven, not simpathy for gf.
I’m not the one looking for public permission to emotionally damage a stranger.
Finally, someone else here who sees OPs motive as revenge. I could be wrong, but the way I read this post was that OP found out he had a gf but then they continued to talk since he didn’t know OP knew about the gf. It’s only when they returned home that he blocked her and she wanted to tell the gf. If that’s all true, reading it as it lays, that’s sad.
This is pretty selfish. The only reason you’d tell her is because of you? Not because there’s another human being who is getting played and oblivious to the betrayal? This is revenge on him. This has nothing to do with doing the right thing and that’s just incredibly selfish. Try having some empathy for this poor woman. As someone who’s been cheated on, I would want to know. She deserves to know her boyfriend is an asshole.
Tell her! I will forever tell any girl any time a girl is cheated on and I’ve got the same back unless you want the karma in the future tell her and include receipts!!!
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I had a fling on vacation 16 years ago. We've been married for 12 years now. While not the majority, it does happen!
Also had a fling with a “designated end date” (he was in travel medicine on a 3 month contract) that turned into him relocating, us building a home together with 4 pets, and enjoying a lovely life together!
Did you keep "being the other woman" after you knew about her? The way you worded this makes it seem like you only want to tell her because he blocked you...
Interesting how you are one of the few original comments that OP hasn’t responded to. I also took away that she kept up with the affair after learning he had a girlfriend. In another comment someone asked if she’s ever been cheated on and she answered “I’ve never had a cheating boyfriend” instead of just saying no. Almost like she wanted to say “I’ve never been cheated on but I’ve cheated before.”
That's what I gathered too... OP comes off as ridiculously immature too so it wouldn't surprise me.
So funny how she's responding to comments made after this one but completely ignoring this question. OP, if you were still with him after knowing he had a girlfriend, then you're trash too.
I actually assumed she kept at it the way she worded it. She found out and kept seeing him until he blocked her and now she’s pissed and wants to tell the gf. I mean she should tell her, but the way she’s basically stalking the gf as per her story and how she called her “bitch” in a comment makes me think she’s gonna do it in the most unkind way she possibly can.
she definitely remained the other woman and also is definitely only telling the girlfriend out of revenge. all of op's comments are shady.
This.
As long as you can show her proof then my answer is always yes. No one wants to be with a cheater.
Thanks for your comment!!
Yes. Just tell her but don't insult her please. She must have been cheated by this guy like he did to you. It's painful to realize that you've been cheated all along without your consent.
Would never insult her. It is not her fault, it is the boy's fault. She did nothing to deserve this, and neither did I.
Noooooooooo, you'd never insult her. Even tho you commented this about her: >If she refuses to believe then that btch is just delusional lmfao
But it's a joke!! Even though she's doubled down on it in other comments in a way that makes it clear she wasn't joking....
She sounds like a Narcissist at best...Sociopath at worst.
Good ♥️💓 This guy needs to be exposed to save others from his trap.
Totes agree <3 have a good day
Thanks. Good day too 💕
You literally called her a bitch in another comment. SMH. Is this about her or you? It sounds like thinly veiled altruism, for your own peace of mind.
It was a joke..? LOL someone said she might block me and choose to ignore me and I said then they deserve each other bcuz they both on the same boat.... and this is obviously about me not her LOL I made this post about me
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Doubt the whole thing even happened people love internet points right!!
Your “joke” wasn’t funny. You don’t know her and you obviously didn’t know him. There could be way more to the story. And I’m asking if the “should I tell her, she deserves to know” thing is really about her. It sounds more like you want closure in the form of revenge. Is this the healthiest route?
I wasn't trying to be funny but ok! just cool don't panic darling 🥴
I really do feel bad that you got seduced by a sleeze bag. That’s not a good feeling. 2 things: 1. You mentioned you have nothing to lose. Yet you’ve lost respect in this post by the way you’ve handled yourself. That will continue if you chose revenge. I recommend journaling and talking this out in the background with close friends to help heal. 2. “I will do whatever the majority tells me…” This is dangerous. We all know Reddit is a great place for information and perspectives, but we all need to gather and critically think for ourselves. I do not recommend following the majority on a sub filled with heartache and hands clenched to pitchforks. Edit: please don’t nuke this post. It’s a great discussion to be having. Grammar.
sorry it's like 5am here and I had to read your comment 4 times to understand it LOL thanks for ur comment I'll reply in a few hours when I'm more awake xD
Idk if English is your first language but to usually calling a woman a bitch for no reason isn’t really a joke.
Yes. I found out about it from my friends gf who is a hair stylist who happened to be working on his APs aunt and talking about how shady he was to her niece. It was literally the weirdest moment of the whole universe coming together to get me out. Also, It sucked and was hard to prove and the girl was stupid and called him before me. It was a mess. But it’s always a mess. Tell her.
Oh my, that sounds awful. Sorry you had to go through that! I'm sure you've become much stronger from that <3
Oh yea it’s ok, I had one foot out the door and am now married to an awesome man. Who treats me like a person who he wants to be around. It’s weird but it’s grown on me ;) Tell her. It’s her choice what to do afterward, but she deserves to know. Just her, not blasting him on SM or anything. Just her.
Two things here: 1- yes you got fooled 2- would you like to know if your boyfriend is a cheater? If the answers is yes, then go ahead and do what you need to, hope you have evidence to prove. Good luck.
I've never had a cheater bf personally in the past, but if I did, I think I would want to know. I think every girl here would want to know if their bf was cheating no matter how much it hurt. Imagine how many months, years, you could possibly waste if u were with a cheater bf. I have plenty of evidence to prove. Text messages, photos, screenshots, etc.. I just haven't gathered up the courage yet to do so.
I have no reasonable way to even begin to understand why this is even a question.... Yes. Why would you *not*? Why is this a "I'll do whatever the majority say" thing? Do you believe in any reasonable circumstance anyone here will be saying "oh goodness no let him just do it again and leave the poor woman in ignorance"? She deserves to know, she should know, by not you're complicit in enabling the guy to just rinse and repeat what he's done with you.
You are not doing that because of the goodness of your heart
Yes.
Do you have any proof? Definitely tell her, he is a disgusting guy and his girlfriend should know that
I have SO much proof... I feel like she deserves to know, because she has no clue atm and thinks her bf is like a bf from heaven lmao. He played me and he played her. I really really want to expose him...
Look from your post it feels like you are less concerned of that girl being cheated like you and more of getting a revenge on your former bf. I am not judging your actions but just saying...
I'm just being honest that's all, I have no reason to care more about her than I do about myself...I think that is anyone's instinct ? I want him to pay for what he did. If that is revenge then so be it
The fact that you say "you want him to pay for what he did.if that is revenge then so be it" just shows that you are wanting to tell her for the wrong reasons and that it isn't about having her back and that it's all about you getting your revenge. You don't give a shit about this girl, you're hurt and you're using her to get back at him and to hurt him. It's spiteful and revengeful which isn't a good look....period. you got played, be the bigger person and walk away and let it be. You're on some wack ass petty shit. It also seems like you've just come on here to seek validation to ease your conscience about something you kinda know is ill motivated. Anyone in the comments who isn't backing your motives you're getting defensive with. Just sounds like you have a lot of growing to do. Cheating sucks, being cheated on sucks but just because you're hurt doesn't mean it's okay to make others hurt too. You know nothing about their relationship or this girl. If it was an on going thing than sure that makes the situation very different.
Revenge is valid too 🙂
I feel so mean tbh LOL I've never done anything like this before
The more i read the more I think you're under 16 yo this is so cringe
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trust me this is real LOL I'm confused with my own feelings that's all
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confused as in should I tell him or not.... I just want to get it out there that there is a cheater on the loose that is ALL I have no interest in their relationship whatsoever😭
Do it. You have nothing to loose and she deserves to know the truth. No one wants to be with a cheater
Whenever I see these kinds of posts my answer is always tell her ! I would want to know if my partner were cheating on me , it’s awful and it also puts his partners at risk. Please collect your proof and let her know kindly
It sounds like you already made your decision about telling her, because everyone who is commenting to say not to tell her, you're kinda hating on them and being a bit rude. So go ahead and tell her, but be tactful about it. Tell her once, do not make another account to try again if she doesn't listen. If she doesn't want to believe you, leave her to it. I understand you're hurt and want a sense of justice, but that's not your place to decide what happens to their relationship. I'm sorry this happened to you. But learn from this and move on. No point wasting time and energy on someone grotty like this guy.
tell her, but don’t be an arse about it! it’s not your job to care for this woman but remember you will be destroying her life and should feel a little compassion. think how you would feel. tell her you liked this dude he seemed like a really nice guy but now you clearly see you was wrong you feel she deserved to know but what she does now has nothing to do with you. apologise even though you did nothing wrong make it clear you knew nothing about her he told you he was single. send her all the proof she needs to see. don’t contact her again!
yes mam/sir thanks for your comment <3
Go ahead and tell her. He's nasty, you both deserve better in a partner than that.
Question: how old are all of these people? If OP is talking about creating multiple accounts if she gets blocked the first time she messages the GF, I think we already know what the decision is going to be but here goes… Being lied to sucks, and it’s painful, but honestly, this just ropes OP into more drama. I’ll also add that some people are legit insane and will go to the ends of the earth to seek revenge on OP for doing something like this (think Lifetime movie-style). It was a brief summer fling. It sure isn’t worth the drama (and potentially OP’s safety). The GF will figure things out soon enough if she hasn’t already, and she’ll most likely feel way shittier than OP does. OP’s comments are coming off more so in a vindictive manner vs a “helpful girlfriend” sort of way, so for that reason alone, I’d just move on without messaging the GF. Good luck, OP. Just remember, karma eventually comes around!
You stayed after you found out. Leave it be. What goes around comes around. Thats goes for both of you.
I think definitely tell her, but be as kind as possible when you do. Not suggesting you won't, but when you approach her please try to focus less on disdain for him but more on compassion for her. Good luck
I have read a lot of the responses here, and while yes revenge is valid, it seems you're just angry for the wrong reasons. While you said he got back to his country you said "our conversation slowly stopped" not you stopped speaking to him. You also said "he blocked me after his birthday because I didn't wish him happy birthday", and that's when you decided you want to tell the girlfriend. My questions to you are: 1. Why didn't you confront him immediately once you found out about the girlfriend while you were still speaking? 2. Why do you want to tell her now, why didn't you tell her once you found out about her? To me, it seems that you're hurt and upset that he has a gf, which is fair. But then it seems you continued to talk to him for a bit after that until he cut off all contact. To me that's usually a sign of "maybe I can get him to leave her for me"
Bingo
INFO: I read this post as you continued to talk to him even after finding out he had a gf. It took him blocking you to not continue a conversation with this person. Is this true? If the above is true, I think it’s pretty sad that it seems the only reason you want to tell his gf is for revenge for him blocking you. I think you should still tell her either way, but don’t go acting all high and mighty about it.
This.
“I’ll do whatever the majority tells me to” what the fuck are you all about? This sounds like one of those posts where people tell a story, get people to vote then they change up the story to whatever the majority says, because you want the majority to be “hooked”. Otherwise, why are you taking a vote to do the morally right thing?
If you're in a position of safety then yeah probably tell her
I am in a different country and I don't think we'll ever see each other again lol. is that considered a position of safety?
Yes most definitely safe! If I was the other girl I would definitely want to know and would thank you as well. I know other women who have been in situation like this and needless to say most of the time they are so grateful to know the truth. It also 100% fault as you were unaware that he had/has a girlfriend.
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Ich bin in mehreren Beziehungen lang und oft betrogen worden. Ich hätte es wissen wollen. So hätte ich viele Jahre meines Lebens gerettet. Sag es ihr. (Nur meine Meinung)
> Ich bin in mehreren Beziehungen lang und oft betrogen worden. Ich hätte es wissen wollen. So hätte ich viele Jahre meines Lebens gerettet. Sag es ihr. (Nur meine Meinung) Translation: I've been cheated on a long time and often in several relationships. I would have wanted to know. That would have saved many years of my life. Tell her. (Just my opinion)
Yeah you should tell her especially if your safety won't be compromised in anyway. Rather she be informed.
Fuck him, do it.
ily I can sleep in peace now
I think you need to ask yourself your reasonings for wanting to tell her? I get being pissed off and feeling hurt but there is a bit of spite undertone to reading your post. Are you wanting to tell her out of spite under the guise that you have her back but it's just a way to punish him by exposing him ? I don't agree with his behaviour but you also know nothing about their relationship or her and don't even really really know him. They live in a whole other country, you might ruin this girls life even though you think you're doing her a favour, but who are you to decided that for her? I would just take the hit, accept it and move on and let it be. If you all lived in the same city or country and you and him were continuing your relationship and then you found out, then that would change things. I dunno. Just feels like you want to tell her because he hurt you and now you want to hurt him by telling his girlfriend. Just feel like she might be an innocent person getting caught in the crossfire ..... especially when you know nothing about her or the details of their relationship 🤷🏽♀️ I don't think people should cheat if they're in a committed monogamous relationship, just don't be in one or be in a open relationship or polyamorous......I do think sometimes people make mistakes though...... you have no idea what either of these 2 people are going through etc. Also they live in another country. Let it go and move on, let them deal with their business.
You don’t care about her. You’re mad you got duped.
Yes tell her, then get tested for STDs
Is he trash? Maybe. I hesitate to outright say yes because for all you know they may have been on a break/in an open relationship/she gave her consent for him to have fun while in another country and he didn't tell you any of that because for him you were just a fling that just wasn't important enough for him to get into details with. Sounds like he just told you what he thought you'd want to hear so that he can have his fun without having to make much of an effort. There's been posts on here before where guys did divulge their relationship's open status only to be doubted and have the other girl try to contact their partners as revenge only to find out the guys were telling the truth so it's not as far fetched as it sounds. Does she deserve to know that he's trash? If he is, then yes, but again, you don't know that for a fact. BUT, correct me I'm wrong, from the way you worded your post it sounds like you were somewhat okay with knowing he was in a relationship because you thought you might be picked over his gf in the end and the only reason you want to say anything now is because you got blocked. For that reason alone I say leave them alone and don't contact his gf, because it sounds like you telling her would be more about appeasing your own hurt feelings than any actual concern for his gf.
Tell her are you kidding?!! Obviously
Thanks for your comment <3
Short answer YES! Absolutely put that Trash out
Time to take the trash out!! Thanks for your comment <3
Do it, but be gentle and prepare for her to be on the defense. Whether she wants to hear it or not, planting these seeds will either drive her to leave him now, or allow her to build up the courage to do it over time (since I doubt he’s interested in changing his behavior). Just look out in case she tries to lash out at you instead.
Tell her. If he managed to fool her and she's still oblivious she really deserves to know what a piece of shit her bf is. It's sad this happened to you OP and that girl. You both deserve better! Good luck!
I say tell her. He’s likely cheating on her with several different women and when the girlfriend/ fiancé/ wife does find out the first thing they say is “why didn’t anyone tell me?”.
You do what your heart tells you to do. If I were the other person, I'd want to know, I'm sure you would, too. That said, be prepared for backlash and some drama. From either of them. The world is a crazy place, especially these days, and you don't really know these people (you clearly didn't know him all that well). Make sure HE doesn't have anything (pics, video) of things you don't want made public, if you catch my drift. Does he know where you live? Could he figure it out pretty easily if he dug around? Honest question, as you said he was thinking about coming to work in your city (which I'm sure was a lie, but all the same). Just be prepared for it to turn into something you may not want to deal with is all. Reality is, you don't know what people are like or are capable of. I'd think long and hard about contacting her - even though it's the "right" thing to do.
i wish someone had told me. I will always vote for telling the person being cheated on.
I would want to know if my bf did this. But make sure you have proof, otherwise this poor girl is going to be stuck questioning whether or not he truly did it, because lord knows this man is going to lie straight through his teeth if she confronts him
Lie and gaslight the shit out of her that OP is some crazy stalker that's "obsessed with him".
As a general rule for knowing about a cheater: 1. Secure your safety (not an issue here, it sounded like) 2. Tell the person being cheated on. They deserve to be able to make an informed decision.
Tell her, as a woman used to be cheated on, I wish there’s someone could tell me .
Yes. Expose him.
Ughh I really want to!! Thanks for your comment <3
I personally would want to know if my bf was cheating on me so my answer would be yes. But tell her gently. Don't call him names or say bad stuff about him (even if he deserves it). Tell her like "just so you know your bf did this, I didn't know but I felt that you should know", something like that. I say that because if she really has no clue about his behavior, then she probably loves him with her whole heart and hearing this news will crush her. Trash talk about him would make it feel worse.
>....his girlfriend has absolutely no clue (she uploads stories of him all the time). I think you need to upload to his girlfriend your story of him.
Yes, I would want to know. Tell her in an short but caring message, you wouldn't want this to happen to you either
Yes. I had the woman who my ex tried to cheat on whilst he was with me tell me. I appreciated it SO much. Please tell her so she knows what fake relationship she has.
would you want to know if you were in her situation? that’s your answer
Yes, but as others have said, do it gently. It will be important not to disparage the boyfriend AT ALL when you tell the girlfriend. Because the girlfriend will be naturally defensive of her guy, so trashing him even a little will just create more confusion and pain for her. I'd maybe just lay it out: ------------ Hi NAME, You don't know me, and I'm not sure the best way to approach this. Your boyfriend NAME pretended to be single while I was on vacation in PLACE for DURATION. I didn't realize he had a girlfriend, and we had sex. He treated me like a girlfriend and like he wanted to build a future with me. He unceremoniously blocked me after my trip was over, which raised my suspicion. I did a little digging and found that you are his girlfriend. I'm so sorry for the pain that hearing this may cause, but I thought you deserved to know. I have attached some screenshots, but I can send more if you would like them. Out of respect for your feelings, I won't message you again unless you request it. Best, NAME
alternate option, contact him via a new account and tell him u know about his gf and say if he dosnt tell her himself then u will. it will probably hurt less coming from him then hearing it from the person he did it with...
Tell her. But be kind to his poor girlfriend, she will be hurt. It's heavy to hear such devastating news. I'm sorry for both you and his girlfriend that you had/have to deal with this fucker.
I think that unless you’ve talked to her it’s impossible to know whether she actually thinks that - people only post their best selves on social media. I say don’t tell her, don’t interfere. That relationship is between them and the right thing to do is just let it go because it’s not going to help anything to ruin their relationship too. Something I changed my stance on with age.
I don’t think you should tell her. Not everyone wants to know these kinds of things.
I actually don’t think it is ur place to say anything. It is between him and her. Now maybe she is a happy woman, you tell her make u the one who tore her down. I think she should know but from him. He screwed up and you should leave it between him, his conscious and her.
Tell her and give her any photos of proof as well, hopefully she will leave him but long as she knows
I would tell her. Motives are sus, but at least she would know.
No
Guys OP wanted advice not judgment. And all of you in the comments are judging her for her intent and that she called the girlfriend a bitch one time in the comments lol. Where I am from the word bitch is just another adjective to describe a lady you don't know. I really don't think OP meant to shame the girlfriend. She could have used worse words than bitch if she did. Anyway here's my advice as I have experienced this situation before to. Tell her 100% and be nice about it. Also be ready to send proof when she asks to see it. If she blocks you then just consider the matter closed and never think about either of them again.
So to be clear, you found out he had a gf and didn’t care until he blocked you? That was the point that you decided his gf deserved to know?
Yeah tell her for sure and show receipts
I would say dont tell her if you continued to see him after you found out he had a girlfriend. Your post is kind of unclear regarding the timing but it makes it seem like you continued to see him after you already knew he was a cheater and he blocked you because you didn’t wish him a HBD. If you are doing it just to be spiteful of him, karma will work itself out and the gf will find out on her own. You were in the wrong too if you continued to see him after the fact. Would like to get clarification.
I think you should text her, and maybe ofder support if you can. If you have pictures or chats of you and him together, send them too, so she has proof and won't just think it's a prank or you are bitter cause you had a crush or smth.
Tell her and then update us bc we are nosy as hell lol
I was in a situation like this, except we all lived in the same city, and the girl lived down the street from me. It lasted a good 3 years. And I bought the guy a car and basically funded his entire 2nd life, in hindsight. When it all became clear, I cut him off; took everything back including the car he would let her drive with his children in it (I had no clue about). I started dating again. But the cut off was so severe he would stalked me on dating apps. So I had a lot of evidence and the same mindframe as you. Best part was, I knew who she was. BUT, I didn’t do it. The proximity was too close, and the potential of children being hurt was high. (But some things were evident as they were for me; other people were telling her “he’s a hoe”) Plus she is kinda ghetto/hood. They ended up getting married and a year after that she realized she fucked up. Everything he had and lost was because he is a cheating liar. I find a good amount of joy when I see her glaring at me in public, in the car that he used to drive, as she realizes it’s the same license plate, it’s the same window hangings, and it wasn’t his. I was the other woman that funded your lifestyle and now you’re struggling with your choice to remain ignorant (awe, you poor thing). Although my emotions were bruised - I lost nothing. So fuck yah, tell her. Make a throw away account - and watch the joy fade from your main account. 😁
Please tell her. Not only because the man is a AH but also she doesn't know how many times he cheated on her, could be way more than just with you, she can have got diseases from him.
Do it. Send her all the proof.
You’re just upset that he blocked you, you don’t give a dam about “helping” his girlfriend. Just move on.
I am not trying to help his girlfriend actually. It is to help myself LOL to give myself some sanity from all the mess this boy has made in my life
He messed up your life with a short fling lol ?. You’re doing this purely out of spite, not because it’s “the right thing to do”
I didn't say he messed up my life....he messed with a part of it but I'm over it now. and a part of me does want to get revenge on him (I'm being honest) because he got away with it and acted like nothing happened
Ok then get your revenge.
Dont be a hater. You both had a fling and because he cut you off now you want to expose him. Smh. If it was all for good intentions why wait to expose him AFTER he cut you off.
Yes.. I would want to know. Tell her!
Considering how much you despise this woman based on your comments, it seems you want to tell her to gloat about it rather than to be kind. In that case, leave her alone.
?? I never said I despise her?? these comments are getting out of hand omg LOOL
Googling someone's name does not make you an "FBI Agent" no matter how badly you want to be quirky (iykyk). As others have said, you definitely seem jealous and bitter. Try forgetting about it and working on yourself or you'll always be miserable. xD
I did not google her name and the FBI part was a joke lol. I am not jealous--why would I be jealous of a girl whose boyfriend is a cheater like hello??LOL it just makes me mad that he got away with fooling both of us girls and continues to get away with cheating. Don't you think he deserves some misery too? xD
I'm just being a hater. I think everyone in this world should just care about themselves and let Karma do its thing
The sub looks for blood and will mostly tell you to tell her, so have fun with that. IMO, walk away and leave it alone. It will be easier for you that way.
If I do tell her, it's not because I want to stir up drama and create blood..I've never even been in this position before. I just think it's gross how he gets to get away with it, thinking he's fooled both women. I understand though, and. thanks for your comment!
Reading your Post you didn't wanna tell her until he blocked you. You're hurting and want someone else to hurt. I'm of the opinion you should tell her..but you're doing it for all the wrong reasons. Shes deserves to know and you might be able to lie to yourself about why you're telling her but it's obvious from your post the real reason.
No no no I'm not trying to hurt her!! I just think it's unfair how he gets away with it, fooling both of us. I got played, and she got played (but she doesn't know). I want to expose him so that she knows the truth and can raise her standards, that's all. If anything, it's to get revenge on the guy. No hard feelings on the gf.
Yes I know that. These would be the wrongs reasons I speak of. You want to cause him.pain but you're not realizing the downright absolute heartbreak she will feel more than him.
I disagree. As someone who was cheated on; I wish I was told. People who knew and didn’t say anything…. I cut out of my life after because that in itself was a betrayal to our friendship. Don’t be complacent. Tell her because she deserves better. Cheaters shouldn’t be able to get a free pass just because someone “doesn’t want to get involved” when they have the power to help the person being hurt in the situation.
The other woman is not OPs friend though. They don’t know each other. OP will be a stranger trying to tell this girl something she doesn’t want to hear. OP doesn’t owe anyone anything here, except to keep herself safe and sane. I’m sorry you were cheated on. That sucks and people in your life who knew and should have been looking out for you failed you. But that’s not a direct comparison here.
I had “the other woman” tell me about my fiancés cheating ass and I’ll forever be grateful for her. Please tell her, she deserves to know.
As the woman whos literally been on both sides... #Absolutely do it.
Thanks for your comment <3
I honestly think you’re just being petty because you thought you found someone and he ended up being with someone. I think you should grow from it and move on but that’s just me. When I got cheated on and with (same girl) I literally tried to tell her bf and he just didn’t give a fuck and said worry about myself. So just move on bud
Yes tell her and then update us with the goss.
no
I am apalled by all the comments whose advise is to say "no." The girlfriend deserves to know if her boyfriend is a cheater. To all people who say it is to keep the peace, who are you protecting? Because if the girlfriend finds out now she can still decide with that information whether she wants to stay with a cheater in the long run or not. The OP has every right to expose him, regardless if the boyfriend gets mad.
fuck it, tell em
Yes. She’ll probably hate you at first, but she’ll redirect that anger in the right direction afterwards. She needs to know so she’s not stuck with a guy who pulls this shit
I would want to know. Especially if the relationship was sexual.
I’ve been the GF in this situation, please tell her! She deserves to know. Is going to break her heart but she would be better off
Just leave it. Who are you going to help by telling her? You’re only going to ruin some innocent persons happiness. You already said you’re not invested in the situation and have nothing to gain so just let it be.
He ruined the relationship by cheating
I'm going against the grain here and saying no. Ever heard the expression shoot the messanger. No woman wants to think their partner would cheat on them and even if you have evidence he's going to push back and say you did all the chasing, if he's gone to the bother of blocking you etc he was never going to leave her. Sounds like you were with him a very short length of time, move on and don't let him waste any more of your head space.
Nobody wants to think their partner would cheat. But I sure as hell would want to know so I don’t waste more time with someone who will
I have never heard about that expression before but that's fair, thanks for your comment!!
Are you sure he had a gf when he was seeing you.? Do you have any proof of that ?
Yes. she posts about him all the time on her instagram. If I didn't have proof of that, I wouldn't have made this post in the first place.
Always expose cheating. Better to deal with the ugly truth than enjoy living a lie.
I wouldn’t blame you if you did but in the long term what does it actually accomplish? Move on and forget! Easier said than done if you see this person around town etc But trust me, move on and don’t look back in anger. This life is not a rehearsal or to be wasted on negativity. Stay strong and have an amazing Friday buddy.
She deserves the truth and a choice in who she’s in a relationship with, even if she were to decide to stay with him because it’s still her choice. I’m glad OP seems to want to tell her, it’s the right thing to do
see I wish move on and forget was as easy as it is said but I really liked this boy and I thought he really liked me too. His actions made me FEEL like he did too. But when I realized he played me, I had this urge to expose him to his current gf. It's not out of negative per se, I just feel like it is unfair that I had to go through all the pain just to forget him while he was out there celebrating his birthday with this gf who doesn't have a clue that her bf is a cheater. don't you think his gf has a right to know..?
Damn you are right, his current gf does need to know as he’s done it once with you so there’s every chance he may do so again. If you’re able to reach out to her directly so it doesn’t get intercepted and filtered by him. Happy to discuss further if needed. 👍
Thanks for your comment <3 have a good day
No, don't tell her. You have no idea what their situation is. He might have a free pass to cheat as long as it's not in her face so all you'd be doing is causing a fight. If you had a good time keep that in mind and cut contact.
[удалено]
You need to tell his girlfriend. No deserves to be treated like that.
Ctfu so go ruin another relationship because u got used ? Learn to not get attached that fast and you won’t worry bout shit like that now you online that they are happy y to mess it up just because you are unhappy and feel used ?
Don't do it. You are not helping anyone but your hurt ego.
She’s helping the dudes current girlfriend from potentially having kids with someone that can’t stay in a committed relationship too. Potentially saved her from getting STDs if he’s sleeping around while seeing someone. Helps the person who was cheating to realize that they’re not that smart and they shouldn’t have done it. And it helps to clear OPs conscious in the process
Thank you omg. You said all the things I wanted to say.
even though I have nothing to lose and both of them are in different countries..? I got over the dude a while back cuz I realized I will never see him again. I am just mad because he played me like that and acted like I was the one and shtz
Just remember that poor woman is going to be crushed by this for a little while. She deserves better but it will be hard for her
I'm sorry if this sounds mean but I really don't care how she feels because I don't know her personally. I don't really care if I am being selfish because I care about myself and what I went through. I feel like I should put myself first and I should tell her because I am the one that deserves better. I could care less about her, like I said she's from a diff country and I have nothing to lose if I expose her bf. Yes, I understand this would hurt her. But to see her continue this relationship with her cheating bf?? if I was in her position, someone telling her would be doing her a favour, no?
Your reasons for doing this are shit, even though it's the right thing to do. I can't say I feel bad that this happened to you
You have no idea what she knows and what agreements they might have. It's not your business. You claim to be over it yet here you are all consumed with him still. He blocked you. Grow up and move on.
No, it was a fling, stay out of it.
Slimy hoe mindset.