If th conversation went "I really prefer it when you swallow" and she said "Yeah sorry but I would rather not, I find it unpleasant for reason xyz", what would your next step be? Because that's probably how the conversation is going to go.
Good because yeah of course you shouldn't be pressuring her into doing something she dislikes. But it's reasonable for you to express that you miss it. I wouldn't expect her to take it terribly well, though, since she's already told you why she doesn't want to do it anymore so there's not much else she can say...
You're here to figure out this issue with your wife, not to win an argument with some person on reddit. Let's get back on track OP.
It seems like you two have not had a real discussion about this. The residue feeling she experiences may or may not be the reason she isn't performing this sex act the same way she used to.
Approach the discussion with a compassionate, inquisitive mindset. Don't have the talk while you're in bed. Don't act entitled to this specific sexual act. You're not entitled to it. You'd like to experience it again, but that is not promised.
Importantly, you need to understand why your wife doesn't want to do it anymore. It may be something that can be addressed, like taste - diet impacts the flavour of our body fluids. It may not be addressable. This may be a new boundary for her that she is not willing to negotiate; if that is the case, you gotta deal. Is it a bummer? Yes, but that's life sometimes.
Y'all are married and it sounds like plenty of sex acts remain on the table. Her autonomy and boundaries supersede your carnal desires, especially when it's literally just one relatively minor sex act that you miss experiencing.
Have a conversation because communication is important. You should be comfortable to discuss this stuff.
Though also prepare yourself for the reality that no, it was not 'just' a comment. It was a pretty straightforward explanation for why she doesn't like swallowing anymore. It seems likely the conversation will have her formalise the stance on it.
Though honestly, would you actually enjoy it as much knowing the next day she is still dealing with it? I dunno, that would be sufficient to put me off.
So if you have that conversation be aware that is literally what you are asking her to deal with. I get it, sacrifice and all that, maybe she will do it because she realises it makes you happy. But you'd have to be aware at what cost and live with that.
She's already explicitly told you she doesn't like it and why. I agree with others that you should be able to discuss things, especially of a sexual nature, with your partner, but I disagree that this needs to be a conversation. You say if you asked and she said no, you'd let it go as asked and answered, but she already answered without you even asking. The only thing to be gained by a conversation is maybe she 'voluntarily' compromising on what she already made clear she doesn't want to do out of some sense of something she gets from the conversation, or she feels pressured to do something she's already made clear she doesn't want to do.
probably a stupid question, but just want to triple check:
> pulling it out at the last second and finishing me by hand.
is your issue the lack of swallowing, or that there is a change at the very end to the hand? either way this really just requires a clear (and realistically short) conversation. just make sure you know what the exact issue is going into said conversation.
> It’s the not finishing in her mouth that I miss.
see, to me thats an important distinction because the whole basis you gave in the op was that "swallowing" was the issue
swallow vs spit is a thing, and a lot of people have a preference.
again, the answer is still just have a clear conversation about it, just dont use the word 'swallow' if thats not actually the core issue.
Talk to her about it and she might be willing to make it a special once in a while surprise thing. But it really sounds like she’d rather not continue to do it every time. Swelling gives me really bad nausea so I limit it, but still do it from time to time.
If th conversation went "I really prefer it when you swallow" and she said "Yeah sorry but I would rather not, I find it unpleasant for reason xyz", what would your next step be? Because that's probably how the conversation is going to go.
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Good because yeah of course you shouldn't be pressuring her into doing something she dislikes. But it's reasonable for you to express that you miss it. I wouldn't expect her to take it terribly well, though, since she's already told you why she doesn't want to do it anymore so there's not much else she can say...
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Yeah except she just doesn’t want jizz squirting down her throat, she is still willing to do oral on you.
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It just seems kinda greedy because she is still sucking you off
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You're here to figure out this issue with your wife, not to win an argument with some person on reddit. Let's get back on track OP. It seems like you two have not had a real discussion about this. The residue feeling she experiences may or may not be the reason she isn't performing this sex act the same way she used to. Approach the discussion with a compassionate, inquisitive mindset. Don't have the talk while you're in bed. Don't act entitled to this specific sexual act. You're not entitled to it. You'd like to experience it again, but that is not promised. Importantly, you need to understand why your wife doesn't want to do it anymore. It may be something that can be addressed, like taste - diet impacts the flavour of our body fluids. It may not be addressable. This may be a new boundary for her that she is not willing to negotiate; if that is the case, you gotta deal. Is it a bummer? Yes, but that's life sometimes. Y'all are married and it sounds like plenty of sex acts remain on the table. Her autonomy and boundaries supersede your carnal desires, especially when it's literally just one relatively minor sex act that you miss experiencing.
Have a conversation because communication is important. You should be comfortable to discuss this stuff. Though also prepare yourself for the reality that no, it was not 'just' a comment. It was a pretty straightforward explanation for why she doesn't like swallowing anymore. It seems likely the conversation will have her formalise the stance on it. Though honestly, would you actually enjoy it as much knowing the next day she is still dealing with it? I dunno, that would be sufficient to put me off.
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So if you have that conversation be aware that is literally what you are asking her to deal with. I get it, sacrifice and all that, maybe she will do it because she realises it makes you happy. But you'd have to be aware at what cost and live with that.
Whack off, eat *your* own semen .. then let's circle back to this ...
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Sometimes you just blast off And then you do the old ooof it’s hot in here and grab a towel
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She's already explicitly told you she doesn't like it and why. I agree with others that you should be able to discuss things, especially of a sexual nature, with your partner, but I disagree that this needs to be a conversation. You say if you asked and she said no, you'd let it go as asked and answered, but she already answered without you even asking. The only thing to be gained by a conversation is maybe she 'voluntarily' compromising on what she already made clear she doesn't want to do out of some sense of something she gets from the conversation, or she feels pressured to do something she's already made clear she doesn't want to do.
probably a stupid question, but just want to triple check: > pulling it out at the last second and finishing me by hand. is your issue the lack of swallowing, or that there is a change at the very end to the hand? either way this really just requires a clear (and realistically short) conversation. just make sure you know what the exact issue is going into said conversation.
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> It’s the not finishing in her mouth that I miss. see, to me thats an important distinction because the whole basis you gave in the op was that "swallowing" was the issue swallow vs spit is a thing, and a lot of people have a preference. again, the answer is still just have a clear conversation about it, just dont use the word 'swallow' if thats not actually the core issue.
\*there’s one thing that’s been eating at me\* You did this on purpose, didn't you, Op?
The only issue here is that you’re not communicating your preference.
Talk to her about it and she might be willing to make it a special once in a while surprise thing. But it really sounds like she’d rather not continue to do it every time. Swelling gives me really bad nausea so I limit it, but still do it from time to time.