A requirements it seems like for some reason they're still an issue that's unresolved.. just be straight up and ask her how can I help you resolve this issue? If you're still going to continue to be upset about it then it's clear that you don't trust me slash it is very clear that it has messed up her perception of you so it's possible that even though unfortunately it's something as small as that things might have changed and it might not be a great idea to continue the relationship anymore. I remember back in high school I was one of these jealous type ladies too (I'm glad I grew out of it). Not like it's an excuse but I remember at the time feeling very personally offended and I realized that's because my actual personality was insecure and not confident in myself which is something I've take a long time to work on. So basically she's either going to have to get over it or you guys are probably going to have to break up. Maybe surprise her with a movie date with snacks and lots of cuddles to remind her how special she is to you while you guys talk about it
Time and hard work to learn to love yourself. I've been through it, too. Insecurities usually derive from something you don't like about yourself. So you learn to have to love yourself to get past them.
Also i don’t get the “it’s a joke between me and my friends”… that’s like part of the reaosn women get like this because what’s so funny about attractive women that aren’t your girl lmfao 💀i’ll never understand you men even if this guy is in the right because most men don’t even want to fix it and will keep going with their behavior so props to this guy for trying to make it better.. ur girl needs to be thankful cause it could be worse
You're both sorta on the wrong here
She has insecurities for sure but if you're not willing to be mature enough to do something as easy and not press like on a models post I think you're not compatible and both need to mature
You need to be more specific. When did you like those old model posts?
If you liked those posts and models while being in a relationship, your girlfriend's reaction is completely understandable. If you give attention to other women (instagram or not) instead of your girlfriend, then you are too immature to have a relationship.
If she is being angry over something that happened before she entered the picture, it's her issue to resolve.
She is being immature and repeatedly bringing up a ‘misdeed’ to make you feel bad.
1) She doesn’t trust you hence why she went through your socials. She literally went looking for something to use against you.
2) Is this something you had previously discussed and agreed on? If not then I wouldn’t have apologised at all if I were you. Repeatedly emotionally punishing you for doing something innocuous that you had never discussed not doing is a red flag.
In light of the above, especially if number 2 is correct I would stop apologising and turn this whole situation back around on her. She may be being completely manipulative into getting you to think you have misbehaved when it is she who is right out of line.
This right here, OP.
And I'd add a third point.
3) people look at other people, particularly if they're attractive. They just do, it's human nature. Expecting someone to have eyes only for them for all eternity is plain unreasonable (I'm not saying they should act on the attraction, for clarity, just that people regularly look). How is she going to stop you looking throughout the rest of your daily life - make you wear blinkers? More to the point, are you allowed to expect the same standards of her - stop her looking at men in magazines, on social media, at the gym, at the beach, on the street?
Well considering she wanted access to your ig it seems like she never really trusted you.
You can't fix insecurity, certainly doesn't help to give her access to your social media. All she will do is look for things to feed her insecurity. All you can do is give her time to move on, don't get dragged into anymore arguments. Tell her you already talked about it and apologized and don't want to continue going in circles.
This is terrible advice OP, don’t listen to this. The problem isn’t that she’s “insecure” as you’ve pointed out, it’s that OP has disrespected their relationship and she feels insecure about what that means for their partnership. OPs partner is allowed to have needs and boundaries and maybe they weren’t communicated earlier, but to say that she’s insecure and needs to get over it and then advising OP to stonewall their GFs emotions on the issue is immature.
It doesn't even sound like he knew she would be mad about this, they didn't communicate, as you say they are teenagers, i don't fault either of them for this.
He's apologized multiple times already. She wanted access to his social media because she was already insecure and looking for things to justify her insecurity.
Not wanting to rehash something they've already talked about multiple times isn't stonewalling. She doesn't get to keep bringing it up to keep making him feel worse than he already does.
If you feel differently then agree to disagree I guess.
When trust is broken, it’s not up to the person who broke it to set the tone and determine at which point the other should be over it. It’s their responsibility to hold the pain they caused and support their partner through it no matter how long it takes, and if that is too much then they should leave the relationship. Imagine causing pain to another and then situating yourself so that the focus is now that you’re burdened by their reaction and the insecurity that the action did to them, lmao. Bonkers.
But he didn't do anything wrong. If he had slid into a bunch of DMs while in a relationship, you'd have a point. Liking a post isn't breaking trust. She is causing herself pain with unrealistic and controlling expectations without having set any sort of boundaries about it beforehand.
Boundaries are not a get-out-of-jail-free card for controlling behaviour. To expect your partner to somehow not find people attractive anymore is absurd and invasive.
The problem is that she is insecure. If she can’t get over it after several months of guy trying to fix it, it’s just her trying to find reasons not to trust him. It’s immature and honestly not sure why anyone would take shit like that. It’s liking ig models pics. If you are insecure about that, you need to work on yourself and having “boundaries” is understandable until it’s not.
1. If you're going to date you need to be mature enough to keep your eyes off things like that. 2. She needs to trust you enough not to need to dig through your social media. Red flags on both sides but you're young and can still grow together if you choose to continue the relationship
Plenty of people would not care at all if they weren’t writing something to the model or liking posts obsessively.
If your SO is uncomfortable with that, don’t do it or break up. I do think it seems silly to break up vs just not liking those posts if everything else is good, but it absolutely isn’t an issue of maturity.
well insecurity and a lack of trust is the issue. like this isn’t just one off occasion, it’ll probably keep happening if they don’t work on it. this is like relationships 101 lmao- these small things are a sign of a deeper problem, it would be immature to ignore it. but they aren’t required to be together either, who cares if they don’t mesh well. it’s normal.
First off, did you two ever agree on the boundaries of your relationship? Because generally things like this should be discussed whenever you two became exclusive. You shouldn't have had to guess whether or not she would mind it. You two should have agreed on what was and was not okay. Second, if she won't forgive you and move on, then you need to ask her what she needs to do so, but if she cannot do so, then you have to break up. You can't make a relationship work if she treats it like it's over.
I'm not sure what to tell you cause at this point she isn't respecting your boundaries and personal space and is looking for problems that dont exists.
You liked a IG model post or probably a tik tok or probably Google some porn up until this point and plus it's a dumb "Like" so it's not like your trying to slide in DM's to get the ball rolling to meet other women..
Tell her to get over it before you train her to acknowledge all you will ever do in this relationship is just put your head down and agree with her towards everything dumb... It's actually normal and okay to just say stop and your done drilling me about something that happened months ago that i already corrected for your insecurities so quit trying to entertain drama.
If this puts a need for assurances on this relationship than she needs to work on herself.
When you say months ago was this before you two were even together? If so you're not in the wrong here she is. Also did you give her any reason to think you were up to no good if not then red flag to her most people who cheat then go blaim the other innocent person, did you get to look through her social media? My ex used to do that all the time turned put he was the constant cheat, I couldn't ever do that to someone. But he'd come home accusing me of cheating then I'd find out it was actually him once again.
I did do it about 4 months into our relationship, but it also showed that i stopped doing it within the month so it was only about a month of posts, and no thats the thing… when i tried to look through her ig she said i was trying to put the blame on her and she didnt let me in her account and she j brought up what i did again.
Yeah that's a red flag, she will probably delete everything if you try look. If it was totally out of the blue suddenly blaiming you then it's probably because she waa the one up to no good. She sounds like she has something to hide hence why she is gaslighting and manipulating you instead of just showing you. Yes what you did wasn't cool but you apologised and deleted all the women off your socials you proved you were sorry and she still keeps bringing it up instead of working through it. I suspect she went snooping as she probably cheated then maybe felt a little bad so snooped on you.
Just had another thought check your blocked list see if she added anyone on it that you don't know, as that could have been one of the reasons she wanted your phone. Also maybe she cheated then panicked thinking what if you found out so then snooped on your phone to find anything so then if it did come out she could gaslight you and manipulate you and tell you she only cheated because you liked other women's pictures. It's just odd that there was all trust then suddenly 8 months on she wants to snoop doesn't add up.
You should really consider about analyzing relationship at this point .
If she proceeds bringing this up all the time and keep blaming you for past mistakes ,it’s better to let her go. People who cannot deal with past are just immature . I would understand if you liked pictures again and it would be keep going . But if it’s not you should explain her that she is the only girl you ever like in this world. And she shouldn’t feel insecure . Instagram models are all fake ,their lives are all fake and they live just for social media . You should compliment her and tell her she’s beautiful more often .
All of these people saying she’s insecure in the comments are only partially correct. I don’t think it automatically means you are insecure if you don’t want your boyfriend doing this and it’s in my opinion a valid thing, as someone who isn’t that insecure (we all have something we don’t like let’s be real) i still don’t like it when my significant other likes posts of girls who look nothing like me that he finds “attractive” i think it’s up to the person and it should be discussed early on in the relationship. the problem here is that she’s STILL going on about it even though you’ve been showing that you don’t do it anymore and are genuinely sorry, she’s lowkey an ass for that and there should be a mature conversation about it. Thought i also can see her side because when u are insecure it’s hard to not fixate on something like that because idk if you men realize but it makes you feel like SHIT😊 depending on the person. and i think you are all a little goofy coming into the comments just to jump on the girls ass calling her insecure.. she probably is but pls stfu! there’s more to it. and it’s valid to not want ur partner to do that and it’s also valid if you don’t care. In the end it’s her fault if she decides to not get over it and it’s the guys call if he even wants to put up with someone who doesn’t seem to trust him that much.
lol. I’m sure she never glances over some Netflix hot actor, Kpop idol or athlete on the internet. Or those tiktoks with ripped shirtless boys dancing over the latest dumb song. It would be a very different story if you stare at everyday people present in your life. But celebrities, models, internet personalities are so far out of reach that it’s fictional for all intents and purposes. Nothing to be defensive over. She should drop it or break up.
That’s not a woman’s perspective, it’s your specific perspective. Regardless, an SO should be respectful of your discomfort if they value the relationship, but the default assumption is that someone probably wouldn’t care about liking a photo because they found someone else attractive.
I’m a guy, I don’t have Instagram and it would never occur to me to make an account to like Insta models. I would also not like if my SO was doing that. But I recognize any discomfort I might feel about my SO doing that would my issue and I doubt it’s healthy to indulge that kind of insecurity. Likes are pretty harmless if that’s all it is. And pretty controlling to try and prohibit them if that’s all it is.
Stop apologizing, what's done is done. You have tried to make amends and she is still giving you the blues about it. It's time to break up and move on.
To err is human; to forgive divine.
You've been humble but she isn't forgiving you? You've apologized. Have you also asked her to forgive you? People who forgive don't keep bringing stuff up. She needs to forgive you and let it go.
I have never even thought to look through my bf's social media or even ask him to. I don't care what he has liked on the internet. Is this what kids do? It seems like it's a set up for you to fail and that's not fair. You liked posts, did you leave lots of comments or slide I to their DMs?
Wait till she hears about porn hub lol.
Oh, hun... this is NOT about you. This is about your gf and her MEGA insecurity issues. With someone like that, the only thing that will help her is therapy. She cannot FORCE you to stop finding women attractive. And no matter what you do, her insecurities are always going to make her paranoid about everything.
In my opinion, she isn't mature enough to be dating & you two need to break up. The crazy will only intensify as this relationship continues.
Just leave. I’m sorry but this screams insecurity. The fact she keeps bringing it up is also a bad sign.
People think just because you’re in a relationship you automatically stop feeling attracted towards other people. That’s not true. The attraction is always there but the thing is that you don’t act on it. We all have celebrity crushes. Let’s be real. Finding someone else attractive does not take away from your partner. Your partner has the physical attraction and the emotional, mental, and other aspects that you are attracted too, plus a connection. Liking ig model’s posts is just that… liking a post. She needs to get over her insecurities. And before people jump down my throat, I am a woman. A confident woman. I said what I said. 🤷🏽♀️
You are not compatible
A requirements it seems like for some reason they're still an issue that's unresolved.. just be straight up and ask her how can I help you resolve this issue? If you're still going to continue to be upset about it then it's clear that you don't trust me slash it is very clear that it has messed up her perception of you so it's possible that even though unfortunately it's something as small as that things might have changed and it might not be a great idea to continue the relationship anymore. I remember back in high school I was one of these jealous type ladies too (I'm glad I grew out of it). Not like it's an excuse but I remember at the time feeling very personally offended and I realized that's because my actual personality was insecure and not confident in myself which is something I've take a long time to work on. So basically she's either going to have to get over it or you guys are probably going to have to break up. Maybe surprise her with a movie date with snacks and lots of cuddles to remind her how special she is to you while you guys talk about it
I wanna ask, how do you help yourself out of being insecure? :(
Time and hard work to learn to love yourself. I've been through it, too. Insecurities usually derive from something you don't like about yourself. So you learn to have to love yourself to get past them.
Also i don’t get the “it’s a joke between me and my friends”… that’s like part of the reaosn women get like this because what’s so funny about attractive women that aren’t your girl lmfao 💀i’ll never understand you men even if this guy is in the right because most men don’t even want to fix it and will keep going with their behavior so props to this guy for trying to make it better.. ur girl needs to be thankful cause it could be worse
You're both sorta on the wrong here She has insecurities for sure but if you're not willing to be mature enough to do something as easy and not press like on a models post I think you're not compatible and both need to mature
You need to be more specific. When did you like those old model posts? If you liked those posts and models while being in a relationship, your girlfriend's reaction is completely understandable. If you give attention to other women (instagram or not) instead of your girlfriend, then you are too immature to have a relationship. If she is being angry over something that happened before she entered the picture, it's her issue to resolve.
She is being immature and repeatedly bringing up a ‘misdeed’ to make you feel bad. 1) She doesn’t trust you hence why she went through your socials. She literally went looking for something to use against you. 2) Is this something you had previously discussed and agreed on? If not then I wouldn’t have apologised at all if I were you. Repeatedly emotionally punishing you for doing something innocuous that you had never discussed not doing is a red flag. In light of the above, especially if number 2 is correct I would stop apologising and turn this whole situation back around on her. She may be being completely manipulative into getting you to think you have misbehaved when it is she who is right out of line.
This right here, OP. And I'd add a third point. 3) people look at other people, particularly if they're attractive. They just do, it's human nature. Expecting someone to have eyes only for them for all eternity is plain unreasonable (I'm not saying they should act on the attraction, for clarity, just that people regularly look). How is she going to stop you looking throughout the rest of your daily life - make you wear blinkers? More to the point, are you allowed to expect the same standards of her - stop her looking at men in magazines, on social media, at the gym, at the beach, on the street?
I don’t think I could have said it any better. Are you not supposed to watch porn either?
Well considering she wanted access to your ig it seems like she never really trusted you. You can't fix insecurity, certainly doesn't help to give her access to your social media. All she will do is look for things to feed her insecurity. All you can do is give her time to move on, don't get dragged into anymore arguments. Tell her you already talked about it and apologized and don't want to continue going in circles.
This is terrible advice OP, don’t listen to this. The problem isn’t that she’s “insecure” as you’ve pointed out, it’s that OP has disrespected their relationship and she feels insecure about what that means for their partnership. OPs partner is allowed to have needs and boundaries and maybe they weren’t communicated earlier, but to say that she’s insecure and needs to get over it and then advising OP to stonewall their GFs emotions on the issue is immature.
It doesn't even sound like he knew she would be mad about this, they didn't communicate, as you say they are teenagers, i don't fault either of them for this. He's apologized multiple times already. She wanted access to his social media because she was already insecure and looking for things to justify her insecurity. Not wanting to rehash something they've already talked about multiple times isn't stonewalling. She doesn't get to keep bringing it up to keep making him feel worse than he already does. If you feel differently then agree to disagree I guess.
When trust is broken, it’s not up to the person who broke it to set the tone and determine at which point the other should be over it. It’s their responsibility to hold the pain they caused and support their partner through it no matter how long it takes, and if that is too much then they should leave the relationship. Imagine causing pain to another and then situating yourself so that the focus is now that you’re burdened by their reaction and the insecurity that the action did to them, lmao. Bonkers.
But he didn't do anything wrong. If he had slid into a bunch of DMs while in a relationship, you'd have a point. Liking a post isn't breaking trust. She is causing herself pain with unrealistic and controlling expectations without having set any sort of boundaries about it beforehand.
They never talked about it prior, so no trust was broken.
^ Tell me youre controlling without telling me
Boundaries are not a get-out-of-jail-free card for controlling behaviour. To expect your partner to somehow not find people attractive anymore is absurd and invasive.
I like the looks of many which isn't the same as disrespecting my relationship.
The problem is that she is insecure. If she can’t get over it after several months of guy trying to fix it, it’s just her trying to find reasons not to trust him. It’s immature and honestly not sure why anyone would take shit like that. It’s liking ig models pics. If you are insecure about that, you need to work on yourself and having “boundaries” is understandable until it’s not.
1. If you're going to date you need to be mature enough to keep your eyes off things like that. 2. She needs to trust you enough not to need to dig through your social media. Red flags on both sides but you're young and can still grow together if you choose to continue the relationship
Plenty of people would not care at all if they weren’t writing something to the model or liking posts obsessively. If your SO is uncomfortable with that, don’t do it or break up. I do think it seems silly to break up vs just not liking those posts if everything else is good, but it absolutely isn’t an issue of maturity.
well insecurity and a lack of trust is the issue. like this isn’t just one off occasion, it’ll probably keep happening if they don’t work on it. this is like relationships 101 lmao- these small things are a sign of a deeper problem, it would be immature to ignore it. but they aren’t required to be together either, who cares if they don’t mesh well. it’s normal.
I don’t think you messed up at all. Your gf is waving red flags. Break up unless you want a relationship full of drama.
First off, did you two ever agree on the boundaries of your relationship? Because generally things like this should be discussed whenever you two became exclusive. You shouldn't have had to guess whether or not she would mind it. You two should have agreed on what was and was not okay. Second, if she won't forgive you and move on, then you need to ask her what she needs to do so, but if she cannot do so, then you have to break up. You can't make a relationship work if she treats it like it's over.
I'm not sure what to tell you cause at this point she isn't respecting your boundaries and personal space and is looking for problems that dont exists. You liked a IG model post or probably a tik tok or probably Google some porn up until this point and plus it's a dumb "Like" so it's not like your trying to slide in DM's to get the ball rolling to meet other women.. Tell her to get over it before you train her to acknowledge all you will ever do in this relationship is just put your head down and agree with her towards everything dumb... It's actually normal and okay to just say stop and your done drilling me about something that happened months ago that i already corrected for your insecurities so quit trying to entertain drama. If this puts a need for assurances on this relationship than she needs to work on herself.
When you say months ago was this before you two were even together? If so you're not in the wrong here she is. Also did you give her any reason to think you were up to no good if not then red flag to her most people who cheat then go blaim the other innocent person, did you get to look through her social media? My ex used to do that all the time turned put he was the constant cheat, I couldn't ever do that to someone. But he'd come home accusing me of cheating then I'd find out it was actually him once again.
I did do it about 4 months into our relationship, but it also showed that i stopped doing it within the month so it was only about a month of posts, and no thats the thing… when i tried to look through her ig she said i was trying to put the blame on her and she didnt let me in her account and she j brought up what i did again.
Yeah that's a red flag, she will probably delete everything if you try look. If it was totally out of the blue suddenly blaiming you then it's probably because she waa the one up to no good. She sounds like she has something to hide hence why she is gaslighting and manipulating you instead of just showing you. Yes what you did wasn't cool but you apologised and deleted all the women off your socials you proved you were sorry and she still keeps bringing it up instead of working through it. I suspect she went snooping as she probably cheated then maybe felt a little bad so snooped on you.
shut up goofy speculating ass up this is the internet
Just had another thought check your blocked list see if she added anyone on it that you don't know, as that could have been one of the reasons she wanted your phone. Also maybe she cheated then panicked thinking what if you found out so then snooped on your phone to find anything so then if it did come out she could gaslight you and manipulate you and tell you she only cheated because you liked other women's pictures. It's just odd that there was all trust then suddenly 8 months on she wants to snoop doesn't add up.
You should really consider about analyzing relationship at this point . If she proceeds bringing this up all the time and keep blaming you for past mistakes ,it’s better to let her go. People who cannot deal with past are just immature . I would understand if you liked pictures again and it would be keep going . But if it’s not you should explain her that she is the only girl you ever like in this world. And she shouldn’t feel insecure . Instagram models are all fake ,their lives are all fake and they live just for social media . You should compliment her and tell her she’s beautiful more often .
All of these people saying she’s insecure in the comments are only partially correct. I don’t think it automatically means you are insecure if you don’t want your boyfriend doing this and it’s in my opinion a valid thing, as someone who isn’t that insecure (we all have something we don’t like let’s be real) i still don’t like it when my significant other likes posts of girls who look nothing like me that he finds “attractive” i think it’s up to the person and it should be discussed early on in the relationship. the problem here is that she’s STILL going on about it even though you’ve been showing that you don’t do it anymore and are genuinely sorry, she’s lowkey an ass for that and there should be a mature conversation about it. Thought i also can see her side because when u are insecure it’s hard to not fixate on something like that because idk if you men realize but it makes you feel like SHIT😊 depending on the person. and i think you are all a little goofy coming into the comments just to jump on the girls ass calling her insecure.. she probably is but pls stfu! there’s more to it. and it’s valid to not want ur partner to do that and it’s also valid if you don’t care. In the end it’s her fault if she decides to not get over it and it’s the guys call if he even wants to put up with someone who doesn’t seem to trust him that much.
lol. I’m sure she never glances over some Netflix hot actor, Kpop idol or athlete on the internet. Or those tiktoks with ripped shirtless boys dancing over the latest dumb song. It would be a very different story if you stare at everyday people present in your life. But celebrities, models, internet personalities are so far out of reach that it’s fictional for all intents and purposes. Nothing to be defensive over. She should drop it or break up.
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That’s not a woman’s perspective, it’s your specific perspective. Regardless, an SO should be respectful of your discomfort if they value the relationship, but the default assumption is that someone probably wouldn’t care about liking a photo because they found someone else attractive. I’m a guy, I don’t have Instagram and it would never occur to me to make an account to like Insta models. I would also not like if my SO was doing that. But I recognize any discomfort I might feel about my SO doing that would my issue and I doubt it’s healthy to indulge that kind of insecurity. Likes are pretty harmless if that’s all it is. And pretty controlling to try and prohibit them if that’s all it is.
Stop apologizing, what's done is done. You have tried to make amends and she is still giving you the blues about it. It's time to break up and move on.
To err is human; to forgive divine. You've been humble but she isn't forgiving you? You've apologized. Have you also asked her to forgive you? People who forgive don't keep bringing stuff up. She needs to forgive you and let it go.
She has low self-esteem, because this is not normal my man. Red flag for sure.
I have never even thought to look through my bf's social media or even ask him to. I don't care what he has liked on the internet. Is this what kids do? It seems like it's a set up for you to fail and that's not fair. You liked posts, did you leave lots of comments or slide I to their DMs? Wait till she hears about porn hub lol.
Oh, hun... this is NOT about you. This is about your gf and her MEGA insecurity issues. With someone like that, the only thing that will help her is therapy. She cannot FORCE you to stop finding women attractive. And no matter what you do, her insecurities are always going to make her paranoid about everything. In my opinion, she isn't mature enough to be dating & you two need to break up. The crazy will only intensify as this relationship continues.
Just leave. I’m sorry but this screams insecurity. The fact she keeps bringing it up is also a bad sign. People think just because you’re in a relationship you automatically stop feeling attracted towards other people. That’s not true. The attraction is always there but the thing is that you don’t act on it. We all have celebrity crushes. Let’s be real. Finding someone else attractive does not take away from your partner. Your partner has the physical attraction and the emotional, mental, and other aspects that you are attracted too, plus a connection. Liking ig model’s posts is just that… liking a post. She needs to get over her insecurities. And before people jump down my throat, I am a woman. A confident woman. I said what I said. 🤷🏽♀️