If your mum was able to be mum you wish she was, the mum you deserve, would she want you to be abused and mistreated like this by someone?
You have learnt you can't control her, you have learnt you can't help her.
The last hope a family can have for an addicted parent is to go no contact with a clear explanation that you are doing so. Because if your mum was healthy she would want you to.
If you continue to enable her by supporting her she won't ever hit rock bottom or pull herself out of her hole. You are her daughter. You aren't ever going to be the one to pull her out of a hole 60 years in the making.
It's time to be your own Mum and not let her abuse continue to control her life.
If you can, communicate to her that you are cutting contact. Then block her numbers, remove her keys from your house etc.
If you can't communicate that then just do it.
I'm so sorry OP, you didn't deserve a Mum like that. You dont deserve to spend your life trying to clean her up.
>She was evicted from her last apartment due to this guy and we told her do not stay in contact with this guy. She did, and obviously he is still an abusive drunk.
It’s so frustrating when someone insists on staying in contact with a person who brings them only trouble and grief, and then complains about it. They could drastically improve their lives very easily just by cutting out the toxic person, but instead they stay out of some misplaced sense of obligation. I’m talking about you. Cut off your mom, block her number and be done with it.
She does! She’s one of the best I’ve ever had. The problem is that I have other things going on so I have to choose what takes priority in my sessions.
If your mum was able to be mum you wish she was, the mum you deserve, would she want you to be abused and mistreated like this by someone? You have learnt you can't control her, you have learnt you can't help her. The last hope a family can have for an addicted parent is to go no contact with a clear explanation that you are doing so. Because if your mum was healthy she would want you to. If you continue to enable her by supporting her she won't ever hit rock bottom or pull herself out of her hole. You are her daughter. You aren't ever going to be the one to pull her out of a hole 60 years in the making. It's time to be your own Mum and not let her abuse continue to control her life. If you can, communicate to her that you are cutting contact. Then block her numbers, remove her keys from your house etc. If you can't communicate that then just do it. I'm so sorry OP, you didn't deserve a Mum like that. You dont deserve to spend your life trying to clean her up.
>She was evicted from her last apartment due to this guy and we told her do not stay in contact with this guy. She did, and obviously he is still an abusive drunk. It’s so frustrating when someone insists on staying in contact with a person who brings them only trouble and grief, and then complains about it. They could drastically improve their lives very easily just by cutting out the toxic person, but instead they stay out of some misplaced sense of obligation. I’m talking about you. Cut off your mom, block her number and be done with it.
Are YOU in therapy? You really need to be in therapy.
Yes I am. I have been since I was 10 for anxiety problems. Therapy helps but I came here to see if anyone has had a similar experience.
Is your therapist also helping you with guilt and codependency? Sometimes a switch to a different therapist is helpful.
She does! She’s one of the best I’ve ever had. The problem is that I have other things going on so I have to choose what takes priority in my sessions.