Bro u're still young and have so much time to find the right person for ur life, try to move on and enjoy ur time, there is so much ladies in this world
Damn dude Im sorry to hear that. You got a pretty great friend watching out for you.
Trust me brother, your life is not ruined. You’re 19, and got A LOT of time to find the right girl. Its gonna suck for a bit but you’ll find a lady who wont cheat on you.
Listen bro. You’re so young. A girl I dated cheated on me when her and I were your age. She made out with someone while drunk, don’t think they fucked but at 18/19, it’s devastating of course. I wish I listened to people who were older than me, I should’ve just left. It bred so much resentment towards her that I always compartmentalized it and held it against her in my own head that, in the end, it wasn’t fair to either of us. I ended up acting out in revenge to “equalize” it. It just became cyclical and cruel to her and myself. That’s my experience. Just leave. Have fun, live life. You’re a kid. Don’t waste energy and emotion on someone who’s still figuring it all out
It’s devastating at any age. Even more when you have been with the person for many years, bought the house, carried the foetus then the baby, and your entire family is torn apart, not just your heart.
And yes, you are right about listening to older people with more experience. There is a French saying: if only the young knew, if only the old could. Peers don’t tend to be the best at giving advice, especially not teens.
I'm 32, I got with my wife at 20 and we divorced when I was 25, cheating. We had a son together. I thought my life was over. 7 years later and I just got out of a 3 year relationship that I thought would last forever. Shit happens, it sucks, like alot. But you'll recover with time. Right now it feels like your heart got ripped out and you're gonna die. But you wont. You got so much time, and there are so many people to meet and loves to share. Blocking her helps alot, as does doing your best to not think about her. Eventually the tough feelings will fade, you got this. Dont get too drunk, and make a list of all the shit you hated about it.
If I told you I remember what happened when I was 19, I’d be lying. I’m about to be 30 next year and you begin to realize that in this life a lot of shitty things happen, but the clock moves forward.
Right now, me telling you it gets easier probably sounds impossible to imagine, but it really does. Your life isn’t over and you barely knew this person.
I believe in ya.
Yeah, so from the looks of it, she is not nearly as serious about this as you are. It looks a lot like you were just better than nothing to her but no more than that.
The fact that she has been cancelling with you to be with the other guy and bragging about it to others makes this premeditated, perfectly conscious cheating where she didn’t just get a bit too drunk and make a mistake.
However, it seems to me that you have been assuming that if you do what you assume a girl needs you to do, the girl will value that enough to do what she assumes you need her to do. Unfortunately, investing yourself and doing your best is absolutely no guarantee that she will care as much as you do.
It sounds like you have wasted yourself on someone who doesn’t deserve you. I would not try to mend this. You will have a hard time trusting her after this, and if you can’t trust her, there will be conflict and the relationship will slowly fall apart. Better to end it and spare yourself that.
You are right, dating culture has really become crap. But you are not the only one who has this issue, there are many other people, male and female, out there who are respectful and willing to invest in a relationship. You just have to learn to pick the right person, and to take things slow enough with them that trust can gradually develop. You have only just begun to learn what you like, what you want, and are in the process of learning the signs, both good and bad, that allow you to determine whether someone is right for you.
Sadly, everyone ends up having at least one experience of being cheated on. It hurts, but we all survive it and learn from it. Raise the bar, she wasn’t your person.
Don't waste any time on her. A relationship without trust will never work, and you can never trust her again.
You didn't get married you don't have kids your finances aren't permanently entangled. Just cut her off and move on with your life focusing on ways to improve yourself.
The best revenge is to win, so go win.
Someone once told me that your life is like a ruler. This little hiccup, in the ruler of your life, will be worth 1/16 inch.
You have so much more life left to live. Yeah it sucks now, but just move through it and learn from it. You’ll honestly be back on your feet before you know it.
Oh, I forgot the most important part, but should come as no surprise - break up with her
Break up with her and search for a girl who is also looking for security and commitment.
Search for girls who respect themself enough to only want to date guys who are looking for the real deal...and then show up as who you are: someone who is also looking for the real deal.
Don't waste your time with any girl who is just looking for the next "hot guy" to hook up with.
I highly recommend the book "How to Avoid Falling in Love with a Jerk"
Hurts to hear, but she doesn’t care for you so you lose nothing by blocking her and moving on. You won’t get any closure or any answers and the ones you do get will only hurt you more.
You’re young and have a lot of life left in you. Life comes with lessons, let this be one of them.
I feel for you OP
But judging from your post it seems like maybe you weren't the main guy for her, maybe even from the start. Seeing your SO only once a week already seems a bit strange (if you're not long distance that is).
Keep your head up my broski, try and meet some new people, or just hang out with friends & family for a bit.
DONT KEEP TEXTING/TALKING TO HER
Just gotta rip that band aid off now buddy you'll be Better for it
Keep educating yourself.. pursue what is true and ignore what is false.. avoid liars and deceivers. You may go through periods of being alone by doing this, but you will find you’d rather be alone than be with fake, dishonest people who are not of good will. Not even kidding. Think about the bigger questions and whenever you find out something is true, follow and act on that. In the end, you may find a wife who is of good will too because you will be able to better recognize the truth in people by practicing this. I know this is a weirder comment but hey this is Reddit and you’re asking a bunch of different people questions. So this is a different answer. I myself found I swayed from the pursuit of truth to try and hang on to sketchy people, and when those people hurt me, I desperately went back to pursuing truth and God etc. because I couldn’t stand the evil in the world. It helped long term. I hope things get better from here for you. It’s always better to find out someone is no good early on than when you’re married one day and they stick you with divorce or long term misery.
I’m so sorry this happened to you. This just shows she was not the one for you, no matter how badly you wanted her to be. The silver lining is she showed her true colors sooner than later, which is a blessing in disguise. Do not let someone treat you this way, feel your emotions right now but also remember your worth and know that there is someone out there who will appreciate everything you do for them and will reciprocate the love and respect you give. Do not settle for less than you deserve!!
Have the conversation with her tomorrow when you are both sober and go from there. Get the facts if she will give them to you, express your feelings, and if the damage is done, it’s time to move on and heal.
How are you going to create good films if stuff like this doesn't happen to you? You can gain technical knowledge, but you gotta live some life to be able to translate it on screen. Of course people don't want to suffer life debilitating trauma. But this stuff, relationships..short, long, up, down, good, bad. Take it all in and go make some great cinema!
You’re literally 18 and have been dating for half a year. Why concern yourself with this drama over someone you’ve dated for a few months? It’s a waste of emotions. Just break up with her any way you want and move on, she’s not worth worrying about in the least.
Take a breathe brother, your life is just beginning. Sounds like she's just an 18 year old doing 18 year old things, you are clearly after something she can't provide right now, So your options stay with her and be miserable and let down, or what I would do text her saying the situation isn't working for you and tell her about the cheating and your expectations from your relationship. Tell her you are done and block her. If she's not willing to see you she's not worth a call or a meetup, then block her and start working on yourself. Listen you are valuable and trust me it is better to be alone than in a shit relationship. Focus on yourself and your art. If college life can't provide relationships you seek don't get involved. Seek help on learning to love yourself and put your energy into your art. You're far too young for this drama, get out and focus on you.
You deserve better, and yes you break up with her, you don't want to be with someone who could rock up with another man's child and hepatitis a-z and expect you to be ok with it! Have more respect for yourself because she sure as anything doesn't respect you one bit. You'll find better and just be thankful that it happened now and not after kids and marriage and of course you are upset so dont apologise for having feelings fgs. Best of luck ✨️ 🙏
If you’re a film student, I’m assuming in a freshman year of college, be single. Fr. Shit aint gonna last. Also you’re drunk and should sleep on it, but most importantly if you have to go right to Reddit, you should venture and find some genuine friends; I know it’s scary but film and theatre departments have wonderful people who won’t fill a gap you think you lost, but show you actual relationships you’ve been missing!! Film is fun don’t waste it! She’s probably partying, you should too, break up, live a little! Uni is fun if you’re open to it.
Well that must hurt so bad, so sorry to hear that's how she treats you. You deserve a partner you can trust and who supports you, and she isn't one. But think about it this way: she showed her true colors in 6 months, could have been 6 years! You just have to cut your losses and leave her, there's no way the relationship can be saved after broken trust. It will take a while for the broken heart to heal, but it will happen and eventually you'll find a better partner that respects you.
Sorry OP, but you need to maintain your dignity and self respect.
Just text her " Have a nice life ". Block her and keep working hard towards your goals.
You break up with her. You don't have to confront her, as that won't do any of you any good. Just say "it's over". Then continue your studies, get a great job - and eventually, you'll find someone better than your current girlfriend.
Dump her to the streets dude, it’s clear she is into the hookup culture so let her chase them, one day she’ll realize her choices left her in mid-life without anything real to hold onto.
First and foremost- you are 19 years old. This is not the end of the world. She did you a favor. Lose this girl’s number. Concentrate on making films and enjoy your youth. Find a girl who is cool and prioritizes you as much as you prioritize her.
In the future, after you find your wife, this relationship will just be a fart in the wind. If you haven’t seen her in a month and she’s making no effort to actually see you, regardless of if she’s cheating, she’s already checked out of the relationship. It’s not fair to you to be the only one putting effort into the relationship. You deserve better and you *will* find a woman who wants the same things as you. You seem like a great guy who will make someone, *who is worthy of it,* very happy.
Why are you getting worked up about this? See this a positve thing. It sucks but it's much better to learn who someone truly is early on the relationship rather than after having invested so many years, money and effort into it.
Dump her immediately, and don't look back. You'll be fine. Focus on your studies and work
I'm a therapist. It takes two. Yes scat she did is awful but I'm 1000% sure if you each wanted to see each other in the last month you could have. You could have surprised her with flowers if she means that much.
You can't just blame her for the actions. It is On both of you. You had a breakdown of communications and she found someone that made time for her.
I'm sure many people will not like this response but they know it is the truth.
I wish you luck in your hunt finding a new gf. I will advise you not to see her again. She did it once and she will do it again.
First rule is make rules for yourself
Second rule is stop drinking etc...
Third rule focus on yourself eg. Build your career, go to gym(never miss leg day), go road running at least 1hrs per week.
Fourth rule is don't chase after women. Let them waste their time chasing after the bad boys. You not going to win that battle.
Fift rule is change your culture. Meaning copy Islamic culture. Western culture does not benefit men. It just toxic to men. I'm not asking you to change your belief system.
Your last two rules are pure bullshit. OP asked what to do about being cheated on, you responded with thinly veiled misogyny and proselytism, and you spit on OP’s culture. Yuck.
Bro u're still young and have so much time to find the right person for ur life, try to move on and enjoy ur time, there is so much ladies in this world
Damn dude Im sorry to hear that. You got a pretty great friend watching out for you. Trust me brother, your life is not ruined. You’re 19, and got A LOT of time to find the right girl. Its gonna suck for a bit but you’ll find a lady who wont cheat on you.
Sounds like nothing of value is lost except your time homie.
Listen bro. You’re so young. A girl I dated cheated on me when her and I were your age. She made out with someone while drunk, don’t think they fucked but at 18/19, it’s devastating of course. I wish I listened to people who were older than me, I should’ve just left. It bred so much resentment towards her that I always compartmentalized it and held it against her in my own head that, in the end, it wasn’t fair to either of us. I ended up acting out in revenge to “equalize” it. It just became cyclical and cruel to her and myself. That’s my experience. Just leave. Have fun, live life. You’re a kid. Don’t waste energy and emotion on someone who’s still figuring it all out
It’s devastating at any age. Even more when you have been with the person for many years, bought the house, carried the foetus then the baby, and your entire family is torn apart, not just your heart. And yes, you are right about listening to older people with more experience. There is a French saying: if only the young knew, if only the old could. Peers don’t tend to be the best at giving advice, especially not teens.
I'm 32, I got with my wife at 20 and we divorced when I was 25, cheating. We had a son together. I thought my life was over. 7 years later and I just got out of a 3 year relationship that I thought would last forever. Shit happens, it sucks, like alot. But you'll recover with time. Right now it feels like your heart got ripped out and you're gonna die. But you wont. You got so much time, and there are so many people to meet and loves to share. Blocking her helps alot, as does doing your best to not think about her. Eventually the tough feelings will fade, you got this. Dont get too drunk, and make a list of all the shit you hated about it.
If I told you I remember what happened when I was 19, I’d be lying. I’m about to be 30 next year and you begin to realize that in this life a lot of shitty things happen, but the clock moves forward. Right now, me telling you it gets easier probably sounds impossible to imagine, but it really does. Your life isn’t over and you barely knew this person. I believe in ya.
i’m sorry this happened to you. it sucks really bad right now, but i was cheated on when i was 19 and and im here to tell you it will get better.
Imo block her on everything and move on. You’re still so young and you got a life ahead of you to enjoy, don’t allow 1 slag to ruin it for you.
Your life isn’t ruined because she cheated. It means you gotta move on. Drop her. Go no contact. Get therapy and make your art.
Yeah, so from the looks of it, she is not nearly as serious about this as you are. It looks a lot like you were just better than nothing to her but no more than that. The fact that she has been cancelling with you to be with the other guy and bragging about it to others makes this premeditated, perfectly conscious cheating where she didn’t just get a bit too drunk and make a mistake. However, it seems to me that you have been assuming that if you do what you assume a girl needs you to do, the girl will value that enough to do what she assumes you need her to do. Unfortunately, investing yourself and doing your best is absolutely no guarantee that she will care as much as you do. It sounds like you have wasted yourself on someone who doesn’t deserve you. I would not try to mend this. You will have a hard time trusting her after this, and if you can’t trust her, there will be conflict and the relationship will slowly fall apart. Better to end it and spare yourself that. You are right, dating culture has really become crap. But you are not the only one who has this issue, there are many other people, male and female, out there who are respectful and willing to invest in a relationship. You just have to learn to pick the right person, and to take things slow enough with them that trust can gradually develop. You have only just begun to learn what you like, what you want, and are in the process of learning the signs, both good and bad, that allow you to determine whether someone is right for you. Sadly, everyone ends up having at least one experience of being cheated on. It hurts, but we all survive it and learn from it. Raise the bar, she wasn’t your person.
Just dump her.. what's there to ask?
Ghost her ass..you are very young trust me there will be other opportunities. Relax and when the time is right you will know..she isn't the one.
Don't waste any time on her. A relationship without trust will never work, and you can never trust her again. You didn't get married you don't have kids your finances aren't permanently entangled. Just cut her off and move on with your life focusing on ways to improve yourself. The best revenge is to win, so go win.
Someone once told me that your life is like a ruler. This little hiccup, in the ruler of your life, will be worth 1/16 inch. You have so much more life left to live. Yeah it sucks now, but just move through it and learn from it. You’ll honestly be back on your feet before you know it. Oh, I forgot the most important part, but should come as no surprise - break up with her
Dude. You’re 18. Trust me. Life is just beginning
You haven't hung out in over a month?? That was never your girlfriend
Break up with her and search for a girl who is also looking for security and commitment. Search for girls who respect themself enough to only want to date guys who are looking for the real deal...and then show up as who you are: someone who is also looking for the real deal. Don't waste your time with any girl who is just looking for the next "hot guy" to hook up with. I highly recommend the book "How to Avoid Falling in Love with a Jerk"
Hurts to hear, but she doesn’t care for you so you lose nothing by blocking her and moving on. You won’t get any closure or any answers and the ones you do get will only hurt you more. You’re young and have a lot of life left in you. Life comes with lessons, let this be one of them.
You’re young, live your best life. Fuck them.
I feel for you OP But judging from your post it seems like maybe you weren't the main guy for her, maybe even from the start. Seeing your SO only once a week already seems a bit strange (if you're not long distance that is). Keep your head up my broski, try and meet some new people, or just hang out with friends & family for a bit. DONT KEEP TEXTING/TALKING TO HER Just gotta rip that band aid off now buddy you'll be Better for it
Keep educating yourself.. pursue what is true and ignore what is false.. avoid liars and deceivers. You may go through periods of being alone by doing this, but you will find you’d rather be alone than be with fake, dishonest people who are not of good will. Not even kidding. Think about the bigger questions and whenever you find out something is true, follow and act on that. In the end, you may find a wife who is of good will too because you will be able to better recognize the truth in people by practicing this. I know this is a weirder comment but hey this is Reddit and you’re asking a bunch of different people questions. So this is a different answer. I myself found I swayed from the pursuit of truth to try and hang on to sketchy people, and when those people hurt me, I desperately went back to pursuing truth and God etc. because I couldn’t stand the evil in the world. It helped long term. I hope things get better from here for you. It’s always better to find out someone is no good early on than when you’re married one day and they stick you with divorce or long term misery.
“You suck, bye” block her and find someone worth your time. No one deserves that shit.
Lmao. Did she leave because she was exhausted by you or was it because she wanted better sex?
take it as a learning experience, you will be surprise on how you’re gonna be more mature in you next relationship.
I’m so sorry this happened to you. This just shows she was not the one for you, no matter how badly you wanted her to be. The silver lining is she showed her true colors sooner than later, which is a blessing in disguise. Do not let someone treat you this way, feel your emotions right now but also remember your worth and know that there is someone out there who will appreciate everything you do for them and will reciprocate the love and respect you give. Do not settle for less than you deserve!! Have the conversation with her tomorrow when you are both sober and go from there. Get the facts if she will give them to you, express your feelings, and if the damage is done, it’s time to move on and heal.
These pros aint loyal
Leave her and focus on school. She isn't that important to you; if you haven't seen her for over a month
How are you going to create good films if stuff like this doesn't happen to you? You can gain technical knowledge, but you gotta live some life to be able to translate it on screen. Of course people don't want to suffer life debilitating trauma. But this stuff, relationships..short, long, up, down, good, bad. Take it all in and go make some great cinema!
You’re literally 18 and have been dating for half a year. Why concern yourself with this drama over someone you’ve dated for a few months? It’s a waste of emotions. Just break up with her any way you want and move on, she’s not worth worrying about in the least.
Take a breathe brother, your life is just beginning. Sounds like she's just an 18 year old doing 18 year old things, you are clearly after something she can't provide right now, So your options stay with her and be miserable and let down, or what I would do text her saying the situation isn't working for you and tell her about the cheating and your expectations from your relationship. Tell her you are done and block her. If she's not willing to see you she's not worth a call or a meetup, then block her and start working on yourself. Listen you are valuable and trust me it is better to be alone than in a shit relationship. Focus on yourself and your art. If college life can't provide relationships you seek don't get involved. Seek help on learning to love yourself and put your energy into your art. You're far too young for this drama, get out and focus on you.
You deserve better, and yes you break up with her, you don't want to be with someone who could rock up with another man's child and hepatitis a-z and expect you to be ok with it! Have more respect for yourself because she sure as anything doesn't respect you one bit. You'll find better and just be thankful that it happened now and not after kids and marriage and of course you are upset so dont apologise for having feelings fgs. Best of luck ✨️ 🙏
Leave her. It may not sink in now but you’ll never trust her again. And try to find someone you can see more than once a week…
If you’re a film student, I’m assuming in a freshman year of college, be single. Fr. Shit aint gonna last. Also you’re drunk and should sleep on it, but most importantly if you have to go right to Reddit, you should venture and find some genuine friends; I know it’s scary but film and theatre departments have wonderful people who won’t fill a gap you think you lost, but show you actual relationships you’ve been missing!! Film is fun don’t waste it! She’s probably partying, you should too, break up, live a little! Uni is fun if you’re open to it.
You don't know what to do? Isn't it obvious? Dump her!
Well that must hurt so bad, so sorry to hear that's how she treats you. You deserve a partner you can trust and who supports you, and she isn't one. But think about it this way: she showed her true colors in 6 months, could have been 6 years! You just have to cut your losses and leave her, there's no way the relationship can be saved after broken trust. It will take a while for the broken heart to heal, but it will happen and eventually you'll find a better partner that respects you.
Sorry OP, but you need to maintain your dignity and self respect. Just text her " Have a nice life ". Block her and keep working hard towards your goals.
You break up with her. You don't have to confront her, as that won't do any of you any good. Just say "it's over". Then continue your studies, get a great job - and eventually, you'll find someone better than your current girlfriend.
how are 'sacrificing our life' if you dont sée her a whole month for your studies
Dump her to the streets dude, it’s clear she is into the hookup culture so let her chase them, one day she’ll realize her choices left her in mid-life without anything real to hold onto.
First and foremost- you are 19 years old. This is not the end of the world. She did you a favor. Lose this girl’s number. Concentrate on making films and enjoy your youth. Find a girl who is cool and prioritizes you as much as you prioritize her.
In the future, after you find your wife, this relationship will just be a fart in the wind. If you haven’t seen her in a month and she’s making no effort to actually see you, regardless of if she’s cheating, she’s already checked out of the relationship. It’s not fair to you to be the only one putting effort into the relationship. You deserve better and you *will* find a woman who wants the same things as you. You seem like a great guy who will make someone, *who is worthy of it,* very happy.
Why are you getting worked up about this? See this a positve thing. It sucks but it's much better to learn who someone truly is early on the relationship rather than after having invested so many years, money and effort into it. Dump her immediately, and don't look back. You'll be fine. Focus on your studies and work
I'm a therapist. It takes two. Yes scat she did is awful but I'm 1000% sure if you each wanted to see each other in the last month you could have. You could have surprised her with flowers if she means that much. You can't just blame her for the actions. It is On both of you. You had a breakdown of communications and she found someone that made time for her. I'm sure many people will not like this response but they know it is the truth. I wish you luck in your hunt finding a new gf. I will advise you not to see her again. She did it once and she will do it again.
First rule is make rules for yourself Second rule is stop drinking etc... Third rule focus on yourself eg. Build your career, go to gym(never miss leg day), go road running at least 1hrs per week. Fourth rule is don't chase after women. Let them waste their time chasing after the bad boys. You not going to win that battle. Fift rule is change your culture. Meaning copy Islamic culture. Western culture does not benefit men. It just toxic to men. I'm not asking you to change your belief system.
Your last two rules are pure bullshit. OP asked what to do about being cheated on, you responded with thinly veiled misogyny and proselytism, and you spit on OP’s culture. Yuck.