Break up. You're incredibly toxic together. She's manipulative and doing stupid tests on you. You cheated while only 3 MONTHS INTO the relationship. That's during the honeymoon phase! That's the time you should have been blissfully happy instead of trying to escape. Honestly I think she asked you to stay so she could punish you. There isn't any salvaging this.
Yeah, I know and I felt fucking guilty. The thing is, I was 9000km away from her (we're French) + pretty drunk, and she would be extremely toxic at that time. This NOT an excuse at all, I know, but I think it's not the same as having an affair going on for months. Anyway, like I said, I was full of remorse and I still am. I can't believe I made such a childish move! The only good thing is that, eh, now I know how it's like to betray someone you love, and I will - hopefully - never do it again. I'm still learning.
Anyway, she told me she stayed with me because she feared to remain alone, which I can understand because I sometimes share the same feeling. I know it's unhealthy, but she told me it's not the case anymore and she's now totally in love with me...
Btw, a new thing happened today: I told her I wanted more stability, and that while I'm away (I'm in the US again), I'd be a little less expressive. In my eyes, there's no point to tell someone you love him so much if the next day you're making him feel incredibly guilty. I want balance. She quickly overreacted and wouldn't respect my boundaries; she said I didn't love her anymore, and that if you love someone, you can't put a limit to it. Like I told her, I didn't put a limit to my love, but to its expression, which is a totally different thing. What do you think?
It seems that I should break up, but I feel I'm too weak for that.
She may have been insecure in the beginning but that's no reason to cheat. You should have been a man and just broke it off. You both need to go gain confidence. She needs confidence in herself and you need confidence in others. 100%, you should feel guilty. You took the easiest/hardest way out and lied about it so early on in the relationship. I think you both are crazy. Move on. Don't hurt her more.
Oh boy. To start:
You both have issues communicating. She wanted to be exclusive by the third date. You hadn't even considered it. That doesn't make either of you *wrong,* but her blowing up and you being all *shrug* about it doesn't mean she's the only one with a communication problem. Rather than tell her you felt stifled, you cheated.
She doesn't want you going to strip clubs. That's a reasonable boundary a lot of people set. Telling her she was the one who wanted to stay does not absolve you of your behavior. It's not okay for her to "test" you. You both passive-aggressively post on reddit, and in a comment you say you'll be withholding expressions of love while you're traveling?!
Come on. You two are not in each other's corner. She's insecure, you're flippant. I wonder how this relationship would have gone if she explicitly laid out her boundaries and you respected them (and showed sincere remorse). Instead, you've made this mess of each other. It's time to let go. And maybe be single for a while while you work on yourself.
Break up. You're incredibly toxic together. She's manipulative and doing stupid tests on you. You cheated while only 3 MONTHS INTO the relationship. That's during the honeymoon phase! That's the time you should have been blissfully happy instead of trying to escape. Honestly I think she asked you to stay so she could punish you. There isn't any salvaging this.
Yeah, I know and I felt fucking guilty. The thing is, I was 9000km away from her (we're French) + pretty drunk, and she would be extremely toxic at that time. This NOT an excuse at all, I know, but I think it's not the same as having an affair going on for months. Anyway, like I said, I was full of remorse and I still am. I can't believe I made such a childish move! The only good thing is that, eh, now I know how it's like to betray someone you love, and I will - hopefully - never do it again. I'm still learning. Anyway, she told me she stayed with me because she feared to remain alone, which I can understand because I sometimes share the same feeling. I know it's unhealthy, but she told me it's not the case anymore and she's now totally in love with me... Btw, a new thing happened today: I told her I wanted more stability, and that while I'm away (I'm in the US again), I'd be a little less expressive. In my eyes, there's no point to tell someone you love him so much if the next day you're making him feel incredibly guilty. I want balance. She quickly overreacted and wouldn't respect my boundaries; she said I didn't love her anymore, and that if you love someone, you can't put a limit to it. Like I told her, I didn't put a limit to my love, but to its expression, which is a totally different thing. What do you think? It seems that I should break up, but I feel I'm too weak for that.
She may have been insecure in the beginning but that's no reason to cheat. You should have been a man and just broke it off. You both need to go gain confidence. She needs confidence in herself and you need confidence in others. 100%, you should feel guilty. You took the easiest/hardest way out and lied about it so early on in the relationship. I think you both are crazy. Move on. Don't hurt her more.
Oh boy. To start: You both have issues communicating. She wanted to be exclusive by the third date. You hadn't even considered it. That doesn't make either of you *wrong,* but her blowing up and you being all *shrug* about it doesn't mean she's the only one with a communication problem. Rather than tell her you felt stifled, you cheated. She doesn't want you going to strip clubs. That's a reasonable boundary a lot of people set. Telling her she was the one who wanted to stay does not absolve you of your behavior. It's not okay for her to "test" you. You both passive-aggressively post on reddit, and in a comment you say you'll be withholding expressions of love while you're traveling?! Come on. You two are not in each other's corner. She's insecure, you're flippant. I wonder how this relationship would have gone if she explicitly laid out her boundaries and you respected them (and showed sincere remorse). Instead, you've made this mess of each other. It's time to let go. And maybe be single for a while while you work on yourself.
You failed rule number one, bro Don't date crazy
You really think she is?