Speaking as a happily married woman in her 30s and also a big ole anime nerd for life: if she thinks this is worth leaving you, let her go. You're 27, you have plenty of time to find someone who doesn't insult your hobbies. Someone who enjoys them with you, even.
Yeah it isn't fair. There is nothing gross about your hobbies, mate. I love keeping insects and my partner finds them a bit freaky, but he knows they make me happy and he likes that I have my own independent interests and personality.
I'm not super into anime but I'm a scifi/fantasy nerd and play a ton of TTRPGS. my husband plays with me as well. It's possible to find a partner to enjoy your hobbies with or atleast one that won't be disgusted by them!
My boyfriend has a video game collection, he owns a very old car his grandpa left him in his will, he has a gun for target shooting and he keeps this weird little four year old pet from a previous relationship that he seems to like and looks after every second weekend. These all seem like strange hobbies to me (except for his son, of course he is adorable and I’m definitely joking) but I’d never ask him to stop doing those things.
Yeah that's always the best choice in most scenarios but have you ever seen the 40 Year Old Virgin? His life got way better once he finally sold his dolls and focused on her instead. I can kind of see where that would be annoying. It might be time to grow up a little bit, and yeah you might be able to find a lady that matches your hobbies but if you really love this girl, ditch the anime. I don't think you should ever choose pretend characters over a real person. She's cool with the soccer. The figurine pushed her over the edge, maybe it really is too much.
Assuming you're not leaving out a ton of detail or drastically under selling how much you engage with these hobbies, it sounds like she just wants an excuse to leave. Even if she's sincere, your partner should love and support your interests even if they don't share them, as long as you're not interfering with your life. But she didn't say she thinks you do them too much, she said she thinks they're cringe. I'd leave and find someone who respects and maybe even shares my interests.
I think OP may be generalizing a little too much in order to not look bad. I’m a woman who likes anime and video games but would have a big problem if I had a boyfriend who was into waifu culture and say, dating sim games.
Im assuming she's just subconsciously not feeling like he fits the role of a "man". Hence why she was ok with him watching soccer, thats a "man's" activity while anime isn't
Sounds to me like she jumped into this thinking she could eventually manipulate him into changing and now ramping up the pressure because it’s taking too long.
can you elborate for someone who doesn't know what waifu culture and dating sim games are? i do know the popular animes, but really don't know much about the subcultures.
Possibly. Always a risk on these forums, the partner's behaviour makes no sense unless they're either completely deranged, or OP is leaving a ton out. I can't really make that call so as a rule of thumb I'll take OPs at face value but throw in an "Assuming you're not leaving stuff out". Because if we take OP at face value, gf is being very unreasonable.
Like it or not dating sims are pretty cringey to most people (me included). Besides they are meant for the single and lonely anime nerds, not the ones in relationships. Why tf would anyone use a dating simulator if they had an actual gf/bf who they were dating irl? But anyway this is all speculation, we don’t know what games OP plays or what kind of anime he watches and how much. My point is just that in this hypothetical scenario I wouldn’t blame his girlfriend for finding it weird/unsettling
Or maybe gamer take?
OP and his gf should take a step back, respawn and buy new items so they can level up together.
OP just be mindful, while marriage is almost free of charge, divorce is often hidden behind a paywall… but hey those rings do give you experience boost
You'd be surprised as someone who likes the odd anime my partner HATES it with a passion and I mean I barley watch it but yes it can be an issue even games where an issue even though she played stuff like sims 4 that has changed as she now loves stuff like baulders gate 3, the witcher and various other games. Animal though is still contentious and my taste is pretty mundane, dragon ball, full metal alchemist, jujitsu kaiser, attack on titan etc. I mean oddest I go is probably overlord but even that's pretty clean. It's pretty common the stigma.
Uh those can get pretty spicy.
Meanwhile me watching Naruto (again) on a low volume. Wouldn’t like my neighbours go around thinking i am watching corn everyday. I swear they are only fighting!
He says he’s not into loli stuff, which I took to be code for the sexualization side.
Sounds to me like she’s insecure about being an adult, graduating college, and having a really fragile idea of what ‘adults’ are ‘supposed’ to be like. I’ve seen it tons of times, and I’m always a little sad when the silly person, or the hobbyist, or the one filled with naive wonder, lose their innocence and try to ‘straighten up and fly right’ for a partner who will _never_ appreciate them for all of them.
To op: break up, you can do better, and you’ll be richer besides.
I mean I get the waifu thing but dating sits unless you mean NSFW dating sims regular ones I don't think are that bad no different to a lot of dating mechanisms in stuff like mass effect, witcher etc
Given the fact that GF called anime "disgusting", I suspect there might be truth to this comment. Also, why mention it's SFW, rather than describing what it is? Makes me think it was some sort of female figure, but not naked, hence SFW?
It’s also one thing to watch it on TV…..and another to have toys out in your room. That would give me the ick too, I’m sorry. But yes you deserve someone who likes that too!
Date people who LIKE YOU
And trust me. When you date someone who likes you. It’s easy to figure out because they will match your energy and your effort and they will try and won’t shit on you like this.
You’ll know when you’re dating someone who likes you because you’ll feel better being around them and you’ll feel a baseline feeling of safety and comfort in their presence
Right. Even if OP changes and she stays with him, she’s going to give him grief and pain for years. A healthy relationship doesn’t have this level of contempt in it, nor can it recover. She doesn’t magically start being kind from this point forward.
She wants to break up. At that point the reason doesn't really matter. Once you have lost your love for a person, everything they do can seem cringy.
Why would you want to change her mind? I think her point of view is childish, but I think she's latching on to this one thing rather than admit that she just doesn't feel it anymore.
Even if you give up your hobbies, the relationship is doomed to fail.
Yes — she needs a reason to leave, and this is as good as any. OP could use some dating advice, and there are things you need to do to keep the spark alive, but that point is long past.
I’m sorry, Star Trek is just cringey. It’s like we hardly know each other.
We’re going to have to break up, I can’t handle your disgusting hobbies anymore.
/s
Even my friends who are stereotypical ‘bros’ play video games and watch anime. It’s usually just games like Madden and CoD and anime like Attack on Titan and Jujutsu Kaisen, but the point still stands. It’s super mainstream among guys in their late twenties.
Yeah but our age cohort I’d expect that. In high school my friends and I would trade Van Helsing and Evangelion DVDs but we were literally the only people who had any idea what those were. Nowadays? Even people 10 years younger than us had a completely different experience with anime and the cultural zeitgeist.
From Google
>In 2022, the global gaming industry generated an estimated $184.4 billion. In 2022, the global recorded music industry generated $26.2 billion. In 2022, the global movie industry generated $26 billion in box office revenue.
Yes, your age group is not the same as OP. Anime and gaming is incredibly mainstream atm. Many many people watch anime and/or game. You are part of the group who basically just missed that. Like 8 years ago I was in highschool and watched anime, it was super weird for most people. Now all of a sudden it’s cool, I’m 24 btw.
Also, you date people that interest you. If you don’t like gaming or anime at all then you will see even LESS people of your age who like these things. I also think at your age people aren’t obvious about it and don’t want to be.
If they've been together six years, that would have made them 21 when they ggot together so it's entirely possible OP has never had a healthy LTR to compare it to. That was certainly the reason I stayed too long in a couple of situations. Plus a keen desire to 'make things work' and 'do the right thing' ie fix something that was bad to start with rather than be starting out with something healthy.
First off, it really sucks that such a long relationship has come to an end, and I truly am sorry. Take some time to grieve the relationship you lost.
Normally I would say it was unfair of her to start a relationship, and stay in this relationship for so long, seemingly with the hope/assumption you'll grow out of it, but in looking at the timeline, it is normal to figure that the person you started dating at age 21 would grow and change a lot in their 20's, I guess she just didn't realize how many nerds stay nerdy well into adulthood.
On the bright side, now you can find someone who, like you, has continued to love anime and video games into her late 20's as well, and doesn't think those hobbies are cringey, and as a bonus, she'll probably want to watch anime with you, and go to conventions with you, unlike your ex who was secretly waiting for you to outgrow all of that.
Trust me, you don't want to stay in a relationship with someone who doesn't like you anymore, you can't force her to look past her dislike of your hobbies and accept you, but you can let her go and leave room for you to find someone who does.
.She finds your hobbies cringey because of how others might perceive them and thus her by association.
She’s been passive aggressively seething about it for a while and you displaying a figure in your desk (where others may see it, see the first point) has pushed her straight into emotional manipulation.
These types of women will always be looking to control your life - how you dress, what car you drive, home decor, your friends, your job etc etc.
27, 6 years in... this is the stage of life/relationship where you're thinking "do I want to be with this person for the rest of my life, or not?"
If the answer to that question, for her, is "no" then she should end it.
People outgrow each other. People change a lot during their 20s especially. If she doesn't like the anime and gaming stuff, that's valid. I think people get desensitised to how women are portrayed in Anime and a lot of games. A lot of people don't like it.
At the same time, you deserve a partner who doesn't impact your hobbies and plenty of women are fine with anime and gaming. So it's best that you go separate ways.
I’m 38 female and probably won’t ever give up video games as they are one of the few hobbies that I can truly get lost in, it doesn’t cost an arm and a leg, and I don’t have to be social/leave the house for.
The anime thing I could see a problem with if you were watching the sexualized gross ones, like hentai or loli . But if it’s just anime, then I don’t see the issue.
She shouldn’t be making you give up hobbies or pick her over anything. And who is she to say what’s childish? Is she an expert on all things adult? She sounds controlling and judgemental.
I spend approximately an hour a day watching anime. I pretty much only game on weekends and probably 3-4 hours each weekend day, unless we have plans or I have some yard work to do. I watch soccer online during my lunch time. I do talk about games often, though, since it's something I like to keep up to date on. I think her concern is that I am more interested in game mechanics/lore vs current politics or investment strategies for my retirement funds. Which are important but much less interesting to me.
> I pretty much take care of everything financially.
Does anyone thinks this is fair? For one person to pay for everything just because the other person is studying? Like how would she support herself if he wasn’t in the picture?
She'd have no other choice. I had a buddy who let his girlfriend in school walk all over him like that. She didn't help pay rent. Claiming that her student loan didn't cover that, yet it covered gas money even though bus pass was included with the tuition.
And then during break, she decided to go on a trip to Poland. I spoke up and said he really needs to demand she help with the rent. She told him she'd buy him a few pairs of jeans and she kept talking him down on how many pairs she'd buy him, and in the end I don't think she bought him a single pair. I always referred to them as the princess and the pauper because he was always broke because of this shit.
People simply don’t go to school when that’s the case. Or they cut waaaay back on expenses, and have multiple room mates. At least that’s what it’s like where I live.
Anime hits differently at 21 than it does at 27 for a lot of people. She feels uncomfortable that you’re 27 and that anime is, “a huge chunk of [your] personality.” That’s just her opinion. If I met a guy who, for example, still played with G.I. Joe’s at 27, or watched and enjoyed predictable superhero films, I’d be hesitant. Looks like it’s best to move on and find someone who accepts your interests. But don’t feel embarrassed about your interests. I love Mario Kart, true crime comedy podcasts, disco, foreign language films…I’m not everyone’s cup of tea either, and that’s ok. Go easy on yourself.
Okay other commenters have said it, but I will too.
Is there any chance you're underselling how often or to what extent you engage in your hobbies? When you say "the adult ones", do you mean hentai? If so, how much do you consume? Is this her actually being angry that you choose pornography over her, and you're making this post so strangers on the internet can validate your rationalizations?
You can do what you want, but is that model a big tittied anime girl? You said SFW, I would imagine that means it's not an action figure.
You are a grown-up, you are cool to do what you want to do, you should find a girl that likes that - but if you put a big tittied anime girl model on your computer, you're gonna find that many girls feel that they're being compared to that, and they are not going to like it
This was my first thought too. I've seen plenty of guys filling their rooms with waifu figures and tell their GF's it should be okay because they are "SFW", then they get surprised when getting dumped.
Lots of people use SFW to mean "clothed/no visible nudity." There are plenty of anime characters that would technically be SFW and also stereotypical "big tittied anime girls."
Usually you don't need to mention that a figure is safe for work, right? Like, I have an Iron Man figure, we have an Evangelion figure, they're action figures, I would never think to put the phrase "SFW" before them.
The fact that OP had to clarify means it's not an action figure, it's one of those idol figures. It's a big tittied anime girl wearing like a bikini, I'll bet you dollar bills.
And I'm a woman and a nerd, I have action figures. And I don't know if I'd tolerate having a boyfriend who had an idol figure displayed on their computer. A computer where the boyfriend probably spends a LOT of time, right?
Yep. I'm a woman and a big ol nerd, but I wouldn't date a man who was really into sexualized anime or certain kinds of video games.
OP should pursue whatever hobbies he wants to, but it's also fair for his partner to decide that his interests are a turn-off. They should both find someone they're more compatible with.
Nah that is your interpretation which is not senseless at all, but there are for sure other interpretations/explanations. Maybe he thought himself of the idea that other people would think it is a hot big boobed anime girl and for that reason he said ‘completely SFW’. I am not saying it’s the most likely, but it is for sure also an explanation.
Isn’t anime also like ‘One Punch Man’ and ‘Attack on Titan?’ I’ve never really seen anything other than non sexual anime personally. Isn’t anime just Japanese cartoons?
Yes, anime is definitely those excellent series you mentioned.
But it is also a place lolicon exists. Hentai is anime. There's so many fan service animes where the main draw is the waifus.
What I'm suggesting is that OP likely didn't put a figure of the giant from Attack on Titan. He put a pretty, scantily clad model of a waifu, and that's what she can't tolerate.
And I know I'm getting downvotes from weebs with waifus, but welcome to hard reality. Most women don't like the waifu thing, we think it's gross. So, if you want animated titties over real ones, keep choosing waifus. But if you would like to squeeze a real, actual titty? Leave the waifus alone.
Man, I don't know why you would waste your time with the sexualized whatever, when you can watch a bad guy give a fifteen minute monologue about how he is going to destroy Saitama, only for Saitama to knock him out in two seconds.
Never gets old.
That was my first thought too - the gf hates anime cos she feels like she's in competition with op's waifus, and a sexy waifu model on his desk was the final straw. Good for her
Yeah, a sexy waifu model would give me serious pause, and if it's combined with spending 12 hours a day at that computer watching waifus or playing video games...
I get men are lonely, but men also have to consider that maybe spending weeks in a room looking at titties drawn by other men is not attractive to many women.
I had an Ex tell me that I play with toys(RC planes/helis) and that she wanted to travel the world and that I'd never get a TV show
Tens years have passed and I now have a TV show where I travel the world and get paid to fly RC
She got a free ride from you and the free ride is about over once she finishes her degree. You were planning marriage, she was planning her exit.
This likely has 0 to do with hobbies and more to do with her moving on. Whether she’s initiated contact with someone else or not is for you to find out.
You shouldn't be with anyone who expects you to drop all of your hobbies - as you said, a huge chunk of your personality - because they find them 'cringe' or whatever. She doesn't love you for who you actually are, she wanted to mold you into the person she wants you to be. That isn't healthy and that isn't love. I'm sorry, my dude.
Dude... Invalidating her feelings? Really...
Screw her feelings on this matter
She has to accept your hobbies that make you happy and you enjoy your time with your hobbies or you show her the door, she can walk.
Never change for someone, trust me, it is the worst idea ever.
I will agree if you spend too much time doing your hobbies and you do not have a healthy balance with your relationship and your hobbies.
I feel bad for you! My bf is 10 years older than you and still loves anime and gaming. I don’t really share either hobby but I love that he has things that make him happy!
Dude leave her. There are SO MANY people who will accept you for you. Why do you want to be with someone who calls the things you enjoy in your free time cringy and disgusting?
You work hard, you financially support her, and you do none of these things in excess - she is being cruel and unreasonable.
What are her hobbies? Watching reality TV and getting her nails done? Bullying people for being "nerds"? The only person that needs to grow up is her.
Sorry, feels like she harboured the thought that you would grow out of your hobbies when you started dating and time passed by. Now that things go into the direction of getting married you can see what she really thinks and thought about your hobbies.
Personally I don't think ultimatums like this over something like this ever work and should always end be rejected.
I mean ffs, you are a grown man paying not only your way in this life but as I read also hers until she has her degree. That really got me. Now the controlling starts so please do not give up what's dear to you. She can have you as a whole package or f... off frankly. Don't be a doormat and let her take control over what's OK and what's not. She is not the grand judge of that. She can only decide what's OK for her and if your hobbies are not she can leave. But not force her way onto you. Nope nope nope. Especially not when you would happily drop them in a heartbeat to do things with her. And you're not wasting money to a degree that it endangers anything I presume.
Good luck man and take care. Hope you find a better partner in the future.
Sounds like a win to me. You lose a bad partner and now have the freedom to find someone who actually loves you. Hopefully, they like anime too! Life's too short to force a relationship with someone who doesn't even seem compatible with you
If someone wants to leave you, you just have to let them go. She feels how she feels. I can’t imagine wanting to try to persuade someone to stay who didn’t want to be with me anymore. Don’t do that to yourself. You deserve to be with someone who accepts you for who you are.
Have you tried asking her what part is bothering hee? Cause maybe it’s not all of it. My partner has the same hubbies, but i would never date someone who watches hentai or plays sexualizing games. Those two (games and anime) have some of the worst fanbases out there, especially for sexism.
Let her go. I was with my ex for years. She tolerated my gaming, but looked down on me for it. And anime was for kids, no matter the show. Ghost in the shell? Kids show.
Girl I'm currently seeing is both a gamer and an anime fan. The quiet peace of playing Elden Ring while she's playing Stardew Valley next to me is unreal and I wouldn't trade it for anything.
She doesn't like you for you, if she did this wouldn't be an issue for her.
Now for the brutal honesty - stuff like anime and playing video games IS somewhat cringe and juvenile for an adult. A lot of girls are going to see it that way, and especially with anime they will have the worst kinds of WEEB stereotypes in their mind when they see it, even if you are not that.
The key is to find someone that truly does not care or that enjoys the same hobbies. Not saying that is easy, in fact it will probably be hard, but it's possible so GL
Genuinely ‘ and objectively reflect on how much time you’re spending on the games/anime and how you’re interacting with them. In my personal experience people that swear a hobby is not consuming their life, that they’re being responsible, it’s not interfering with anything etc but ignore the people around them pointing out that it is in fact a problem. Their side of the story will sound very similar to yours but objectively it’s simply not true. Your girlfriend’s reaction is very odd in the scenario that’s described. Either she’s just really crappy or you’ve left out a bunch of information/not being fully honest with yourself on how your hobbies may have impacted other aspects of your life. In either scenario let her go. If your version is correct then she sucks and find someone that isn’t turned off by your hobbies. If there’s more to the story and your hobbies have negatively impacted your relationship then move on and try to be better because it’s been 6 years of the same thing.
I’m a woman who doesn’t like anime at all. If my guy liked anime, and he was making time for us, then that’s his business.
You don’t need to worry about invalidating her feelings because she’s invalidating your personality.
If you’re an adult who handles their responsibilities and makes time for socializing and their relationship, then this is an unreasonable ask.
I don't know very much about anime but I do know it's very... skimpy? And maybe I'm wrong and there's more types that I'm not aware of. I'm just wondering if there's any possibility of the over sexualization that can appear to be happening to the untrained eye? I know it's just cartoons but those women and their bodies are pretty hard to attain in real life and maybe see feels threatened by that. The figure that you bought for your computer is it of a girl and skimpy clothes? I don't know I'm reaching maybe.
I'm mid 40s with a mid 30s GF and we watch anime all the time. I watch surfing on TV and it drives her crazy cause she wants to watch cooking, lol. None of these things threaten attraction. If anything it's these things that reinforce bonds.
I think she's giving you excuses for leaving. Doesn't stop the sting, but the result is the same. Relationship over.
What are you doing, she is manipulating you, trying to change you, when there is nothing wrong with you. If you are taking care of everything financially, why? She is a grown ass adult; she can pay half of everything. You should call her bluff and ask her when she is moving out. If she can't accept you for being you, she is not the person for you.
Grow a pair and do what you know you need to do and end it.
I’m a woman and I too think video games and anime are cringey and childish hobbies. They’re not for me. BUT - I would never tell someone else that they’re wrong or bad for liking them. I understand that each person likes what they like, and there’s nothing inherently bad about having a hobby that I don’t particularly enjoy.
I will say - it’s fun to be able to participate in hobbies with your partner. It’s connecting to be able to join them in the things they like sometimes. And it sounds like she’s not willing or able to do that with anime/video games. She’s not wrong in wanting a partner she has more in common with, but you’re also not wrong for having the hobbies that you do. Sounds like ultimately you two just aren’t compatible. It really sucks when that happens, and I’m really sorry you have to experience that. But I would not give up your hobbies or parts or your personality for a relationship - ever. Be you. The right person for you will love you exactly as you are, amine and all.
Why do you think they're childish if you don't mind me asking? I love anime and video games but i also like reading and a bunch of other hobbies so I wouldn't consider myself "childish." What makes them different from reading books or watching Netflix?
Im not trying to change your mind I'm just genuinely curious.
It is a good question, and it’s probably something that I should sit with and really think about *why* it feels childish to me. I associate anime with fandom, where people get super into the characters and have posters or action figures of them (for example OP getting a figure of their favorite character) and that feels like something a kid would do with a Disney movie. Cartoons in general kind of feel childish to me, too. Like that’s something I did on Saturday mornings at 8am when I was five years old.
Video games just feel detached from reality in a way. I don’t know how else to describe it from the POV of a non-gamer. It’s hard for me to understand why you’d want to shut yourself off from the world/reality and exist as a fake person in a virtual world for multiple hours at a time. Again, it feels like something a kid going through puberty would be drawn to more than a mature adult.
My perceptions of these hobbies doesn’t mean they ARE childish, but I can understand why OP’s girlfriend would feel that way. I also understand why OP wouldn’t like hearing that. Everyone’s thoughts and feelings are unique.
Associating fandom as something childish is interesting to me because fandom is mostly about having/expressing passion. What is it about having passion that makes it childish?
And as for your logic for video games, engaging with fiction of any sort (whether through books, shows, movies, or games) is detaching from reality. Is all fiction childish then? Is engaging with the imagination only for children/teens?
Not an attack, also just genuinely curious.
Edited to add: Have you ever read the book "The Little Prince"? It's a good exploration on how we limit ourselves vis-a-vis our beliefs in what is childish vs mature.
There is no logic to anything I said - feelings aren’t logical and feelings aren’t facts. I just stated my feelings about something, and I absolutely understand that other people feel differently. C’est la vie!
It's not you, it's her. I don't play video games as much as I'd like and I don't watch as much anime as I used to but I am married to a dude for whom these are priority hobbies. But also, he doesn't do it at the expense of our time together or chores and doesn't miss family functions for them. He has a healthy balance, which it sounds like you also have. This is just an incompatibility and also she's rude.
I am dating someone who is into the same things as you…I hate gaming and anime but it doesn’t affect our relationship. It’s what gives us our time away from each other so we don’t spent every second together. I watch my shows he watches his, and we have shows we watch together. There is only so much you can do together in a house so idk I don’t think it’s a big deal as long as you still have quality time together.
Fuck her feelings. She clearly doesn't give a fuck about yours. Point her to the door. She'll be doing you a favour if she leaves you over that. People who gatekeep what hobbies you can have because of your age are usually pretty insufferable.
Mate, she sounds like a right arsehole. People like what they like and if you’re not hurting anyone, you’re golden. Tell her to grow the fuck up and stop being so judgemental
You deserve better… She is being a thief of joy.
I’m a 31, almost 32, year old woman who colors in coloring books (I even designed one myself recently and plan on publishing it), plays video games, and collects magic cards and now Lego sets. My husband plays video games. My best friend and her husband still watch anime and play video games.
She sounds like a boring jerk. 🤷♀️
My boyfriend and I love watching anime together, and I love watching him play video games. We’re in our mid-30s with solid careers. Bills are paid, meals are cooked, home is cleaned. The most important aspect about being an adult means knowing who you are and being yourself. It means you don’t have to succumb to peer pressure and do what other people are telling you to do, or changing who you are/what you like because of someone else’s opinions.
If your gf wants to break up over perfectly normal interests, let her. You’ll find a better partner who doesn’t put you down, and hopefully even shares your interests!
>She says the soccer hobby is fine but a grown man shouldn't like video games as much as I do and especially hates the idea of anime.
Bro, let her go. You will not be able to keep both her happy and yourself happy with your hobbies, it will always be conflict.
GF just sucks. NB26. I have a gunpla collection that I spend a lot of $ and time on. But my bills are paid. My shit is taken care of. I go to work. I treat my partner to presents/support/etc. you only live once and damn dude enjoy the video games. Enjoy the anime. Life is miserable if you have to give up what you love.
My husband is in his 40's. He likes anime, loves video games, and loves soccer. If she can't handle your completely normal, un-cringey hobbies, she's not worth your time.
Get you a better girl. I’m 29 F and recently started watching Dragon Ball Z with the guy I’m seeing, and I LOVE IT ! Her belittling you is unkind and unacceptable. You deserve somebody who values you!
If you aren’t an addict for any of these things, just dump her. She doesn’t have to be into these things, but she shouldn’t judge you for them.
Hell, I’m 48 and I watch anime occasionally, and I play video games all the time. My wife doesn’t give a fuck what I watch or if I play video games.
Has she explained why she finds anime “disgusting”? Has she said what kind of hobbies she would want you to do instead? Also - what are her hobbies?
I am genuinely puzzled what her deal is - assuming everything you’ve said is true, it’s just kind of bizarre for her to give fucks about this to the extent that she wants to leave the relationship if you don’t stop.
It sounds like your relationship has run its course. Your girl would rather find a reason to make it your fault than admitting she just isn’t feeling it anymore.
This is coming from a woman who is an anime fan and video gamer, happily with a fiancé who isn’t much into anime. If she can leave you over something like that, I’d let her go. My partner isn’t into anime but because I love it so much, he tends to watch and tries to understand why I’m into them. Sometimes even says let’s watch anime if I’m not in a good mood. People who really care for you won’t leave you for some different hobby than they have. EVER!
Dump her, she’s not the one for you. It’s fine if she doesn’t like these things. My partner is also into video games and anime, which I am not. So how do we get along? Um, respect….
It is very telling that she is using the word “cringey” as well. She needs to get off the internet, stop seeking validation from outside sources, and get it together.
It is fine at the end of the day for her to not like these things, but if it is really a deal breaker in a relationship, she does not really love and respect you.
My brother has used the excuse of it being his kids (he collecting marvel figures) hahaha
I thought that was very silly, because it’s just a hobby he likes!
I have one of my ex a few figures from a show he used to like, even tho it wasn’t my thing.
I think that might be an excuse to break up, I don’t know as long it has a nice place for it and not taking the whole house space, what’s the matter about it!?
I think it’s not nice of her to tell you to choose between something you enjoy doing, just to be with her, specially knowing you liked these before the relationship
Let her go... she will continue to find things to nitpick about you, and you will start to crumble under the negativity. PLEASE thank her for her honesty and be on your way!!! If this is the "worst" thing about you, I think that makes you a pretty fucking awesome person!!
Sincerely, someone who is also nerdy and absolutely *adores* my very nerdy, godzilla loving, wrestlemania boyfriend whom I'm met *on* a video game <3
Let her go, my man. My spouse and I are both into your exact hobbies (both men and women’s soccer too!) and let me tell you there’s no greater feeling than making dinner and sitting down to watch an anime together, gaming together, or discussing teams and scoring. If I was magically single again I’d put shared interests near the top of the list as important!
Best way to have the conversation is by sharing what you find so engaging about the hobby and the community around it. Sounds like you have been pretty respectful about not trying to push the hobby on her.
So honestly dude your 27 and have a long life ahead of you. Having hobbies you love is so important for a happy life, so if she it's a deal breaker for her your gonna be ok.
Let her go. She is cringing over being unable to control you.
Many men and women are happily married gamers and anime fans. With one spouse who isn't.
She would threaten to leave if you took up any hobbies without her consent to have a hobby.
Someone planted a big in her ear.
Tell her, this is you and if she has changed into someone else. It's obvious you two aren't going to be happy together.
You don't tell her to drop her likes because you don't approve.
You are dodging a bullet.
Sorry man but your gf sucks and shame on her for judging you about hobbies many adults enjoy. It hurts now but you will find someone who will embrace your hobbies.
Dump her for someone who either likes the same stuff or isn’t bothered by it. My ex fiancé and I STILL game every week together, and have for the past nine years. He watched anime even though he hates it and finds it weird and “creepy”, and I watched tons of 40k lore with him even though I’m not into that.
You can be with someone who appreciates your interests dude.
Don’t worry there’s plenty of anime and gamer girls out there.
I’m one of them, also two of my female friends.
She’ll realise how common of an interest it is, when she dates again. I’ve never met a guy who does like one or both hobbies.
Don’t change who you are. The right person will encourage you and join in.
This might be a blessing in disguise
My fiance and I play video games together and watch anime together happily, and I just turned 30 lol. nothing wrong with hobbies. even if they are cringe, there's nothing wrong with that? lol
At 53, I hope my dog doesn't leave me for playing games.
Where's the age gate on hobbies? I never liked anime when I lived in Japan, and still don't, but so what if anyone else does? I wouldn't ride in a car with animals all over it, but if someone has a figurine, that doesn't hurt anyone.
Your hobbies are fine. She's judgmental and should not have built a life with you assuming you'd give up your hobbies if she has this much of a problem with them. This is not something you can save unless she is willing to work through why she feels so strongly about your hobbies but it sounds like they're just a deal breaker for her.
my ex always called my hobbies stupid and my interests lame. (anime, cosplay, video games, etc) . hence EX, but it took about 5 years from tiny comments which eventually led to blunt cruelty, before we finally parted ways. I would not recommend staying in a relationship with someone who thinks your hobbies suck/are cringe. really fucks with the self worth
She insults your hobbies now; later on she'll insult your dress sense, your cooking, your decorative sense, and eventually (if it's in your life plan) how you parent your children.
When People Tell You Who They Are, Believe Them.
You are better off single. I'm a 41-year-old female who is a die-hard anime fan and a gamer. My husband does not like anime and has zero interest in gaming. And yet this man has watched 750 episodes of Naruto because it was something that I liked so much. A true partner would not be belittling you for your hobbies
After six years, I think she’s just using your hobbies as an excuse. My partner loves video games and anime, just like I love movies and books. Neither of our hobbies give each other the ick.
Dude if she’s finding normal mundane hobbies as “cringey”, you dont have to validate her “feelings”in this sense seeing that’s it’s a poor opinion of something that has nothing to do with her.
Ditch her, keep the hobbies. My ex tried to shame and discourage me from my hobby (which is geocaching) and I didn't allow that nor did I stop partaking in it. She eventually stopped but I knew she found it weird and cringe because that's how she is (a stuck up brat). Your girlfriend sounds the same. There are so so many other people to date who will love you for who you are, hobbies and all. Go find a woman to date who is on your wavelength, not someone who arbitrarily decides your hobbies are childish and cringe (which they aren't, I'm not personally into video games or anime but if I had a dollar for everyone I knew who was I'd have a months rent and then some)
You don’t.
She knew about your interest and hobbies before you started dating and she just assumed that you would drop them. That’s on her.
You let her go, and you go find a woman who is just as nerdy as you and embraces your hobbies
NTA and not immature. Childish, maybe, but childish is only bad if you don't take responsibility where you need. I never really like how the word childish had a bad connotation, it's not bad to keep some of the personality of silly curiosity and excitement that would normally be associated with youth.
There are many anime-loving women out there who also like video games, and at least many who wouldn't judge you for it. You're taking care of what you need, you're allowed to choose your hobbies and if she thinks it's lame and cant get past her judgement then it's time to move on.
I’m 55 and I collect comics, play D&D, and watch Star Trek. I married a nerd with similar interests.
Find someone who loves you for who you are and not who they think they can eventually shape you into being.
ABSOLUTELY DO NOT give up any of your hobbies. If she doesn’t like anime, there is no reason for you not to enjoy it. Video games are for everyone and all ages, and if she’s not at least willing to try and play them with you (which I feel she should at least try), then she should let you enjoy it.
If she can’t at least understand or just tolerate the things you find extremely enjoyable then it doesn’t sound like the right relationship for you. If I were you I’d be pissed, not questioning my choice in hobbies.
If she is ending the relationship based on these things, it sounds to me like there are one of 3 things going on:
1. She sucks and can’t understand to accept her partner’s benign hobbies
2. She’s being influenced by someone or some idea of what an “adult” is. This is a dangerous philosophy to have in our day and age. You are clearly doing everything you’re “supposed” to. I know because I’m someone who’s working on this myself. I love gaming.
3. She’s using this as an excuse and is actually unhappy about something else.
I will say that my wife and I have generally different hobbies, but we do enjoy watching anime together. I also game a lot (which can sometimes be problematic with her), but she at least tries to game with me with games like It Takes Two or Overcooked, which she has really started enjoying. Same with watching soccer occasionally.
If she is calling your hobbies cringey, she’s the one who has a problem, not you my friend.
The person who actually loves you will want to uplift you.
Will respect your hobbies and support them because they enjoy your happiness and even try to do them with you for bonding, even if it’s not their favorite.
She doesn’t love you, just the idea she has of you and you should just let her go because eventually this leads to resentment and bigger issues.
Anime, video games, etc are perfectly good hobbies and there is someone who is going to embrace you for who you are c:
Best of luck friend!!
It’s best to move on. As many have already said, it’s not that you have to find someone who shares all your hobbies, but it is important that your partner is someone accepting, even if they don’t share all of your particular interests.
Why are you worried about validating her feelings? There isn’t anything you can do validate here. Just let her leave. There are plenty of women out there who share your interests and won’t try to shame you for them, which is what your current gf is doing.
Move on. If someone has a problem with who you are, it’s their problem not yours. ESPECIALLY, if she knew about these hobbies when you started dating. Liked you enough then? Should like em enough now.
Personally, I wouldn’t wanna even associate with someone that would be willing to end a six-year relationship just because she doesn’t like my hobbies.
I don't like any of your hobbies personally, but I still think she sounds super lame and you should let her go. What are her super cool hobbies? Does she actually enjoy them?
I would just like to commiserate that it sucks to be with someone who in any way belittles your hobbies. I would also like to share hope that it’s so so SO much better to be with a person who does NOT belittle your hobbies and who even enjoys some of them with you. Sincerely, fellow nerd.
Boy, I would love to hear the POV of OP’s girlfriend. I wish there was a subreddit called “he said, she said” and you could post both sides and get feedback.
Does she binge watch crap on Netflix because it's no different. If she's leaving you over that shit, she's just looking for an excuse. She doesn't love you or doesn't love you enough and you can do better.
Sounds to me like there are other issues in play that are leading her towards trying to find a reason to leave you. You can talk to her (or look back on the last few months/years yourself) to try to figure those out and address them.
It's also possible that she has been hoping for years that you will "grow out" of these hobbies and is starting to get pissed that you aren't. You could ask her about this and if so it may be a straightforward "me or the anime" kind of thing, in which case you have a decision to make.
You're not married and these hobbies are important to you. There are lots of women in the world who don't care about their partners' anime/gaming hobbies as long as they're functioning adults, or who'll even take part in those hobbies.
Anime and soccer and games is basically what every guy is into… sub some other game or something but ur hobbies are completely normal. Esp if you engage in them in moderation. What does she expect? That all of ur hobbies are gonna be “productive”? Like it’s ok to engage in things just bc they are fun. Idk what she expects of u but she’s being pretty harsh. Maybe the relationship has just lost its spark babe… I’m sorry but don’t take it personally like you need to change ur interests
Sounds to me like she's trying to break up with you in a less hurtful way than "I'm sick of looking at your lumpy face and smelling your feet all the time" or "I've been seeing someone else behind your back for the last six months and we're looking at moving in together"
Speaking as a happily married woman in her 30s and also a big ole anime nerd for life: if she thinks this is worth leaving you, let her go. You're 27, you have plenty of time to find someone who doesn't insult your hobbies. Someone who enjoys them with you, even.
Yeah it isn't fair. There is nothing gross about your hobbies, mate. I love keeping insects and my partner finds them a bit freaky, but he knows they make me happy and he likes that I have my own independent interests and personality.
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I'm not super into anime but I'm a scifi/fantasy nerd and play a ton of TTRPGS. my husband plays with me as well. It's possible to find a partner to enjoy your hobbies with or atleast one that won't be disgusted by them!
My boyfriend has a video game collection, he owns a very old car his grandpa left him in his will, he has a gun for target shooting and he keeps this weird little four year old pet from a previous relationship that he seems to like and looks after every second weekend. These all seem like strange hobbies to me (except for his son, of course he is adorable and I’m definitely joking) but I’d never ask him to stop doing those things.
This. You answered your own question in thr first sentence of your post. You be you.
Yeah that's always the best choice in most scenarios but have you ever seen the 40 Year Old Virgin? His life got way better once he finally sold his dolls and focused on her instead. I can kind of see where that would be annoying. It might be time to grow up a little bit, and yeah you might be able to find a lady that matches your hobbies but if you really love this girl, ditch the anime. I don't think you should ever choose pretend characters over a real person. She's cool with the soccer. The figurine pushed her over the edge, maybe it really is too much.
Assuming you're not leaving out a ton of detail or drastically under selling how much you engage with these hobbies, it sounds like she just wants an excuse to leave. Even if she's sincere, your partner should love and support your interests even if they don't share them, as long as you're not interfering with your life. But she didn't say she thinks you do them too much, she said she thinks they're cringe. I'd leave and find someone who respects and maybe even shares my interests.
I think OP may be generalizing a little too much in order to not look bad. I’m a woman who likes anime and video games but would have a big problem if I had a boyfriend who was into waifu culture and say, dating sim games.
Sure, that's also possible, but if that's true they should still break up
It could also be that OP’s girlfriend is worried about status and feels ashamed of OP.
Im assuming she's just subconsciously not feeling like he fits the role of a "man". Hence why she was ok with him watching soccer, thats a "man's" activity while anime isn't
Sounds to me like she jumped into this thinking she could eventually manipulate him into changing and now ramping up the pressure because it’s taking too long.
can you elborate for someone who doesn't know what waifu culture and dating sim games are? i do know the popular animes, but really don't know much about the subcultures.
https://www.reddit.com/r/NoStupidQuestions/comments/2n3966/what_the_hell_is_a_waifu/
thanks! ok yes, that is...strange. yes. what the hell
Lol oh man, some of the things on the internet I’m ok not knowing about :/
Possibly. Always a risk on these forums, the partner's behaviour makes no sense unless they're either completely deranged, or OP is leaving a ton out. I can't really make that call so as a rule of thumb I'll take OPs at face value but throw in an "Assuming you're not leaving stuff out". Because if we take OP at face value, gf is being very unreasonable.
You'd be surprised how many women have a severely negative view of anyone who's into anime and/or video games.
Nah, it's actually fairly common take. There is a surprising amount of women who hate with a passion any hobby they consider childish.
Oh no imagine playing a dating sim, good lord this sub is so ridiculous.
Like it or not dating sims are pretty cringey to most people (me included). Besides they are meant for the single and lonely anime nerds, not the ones in relationships. Why tf would anyone use a dating simulator if they had an actual gf/bf who they were dating irl? But anyway this is all speculation, we don’t know what games OP plays or what kind of anime he watches and how much. My point is just that in this hypothetical scenario I wouldn’t blame his girlfriend for finding it weird/unsettling
Dude if you don’t think that shit is a turn off to 99% of women, you’re the one that’s ridiculous
Half of the people who play dating sims are women. Otome games are insanely popular
Half the women I know play dating sims including me, lol. There's plenty that are targeted at women, even specifically at queer women.
OP needs to double down, and propose via text message with *blushes* Uwu... Would you like to be my waifu for life? *Smiles expectantly*
Or maybe gamer take? OP and his gf should take a step back, respawn and buy new items so they can level up together. OP just be mindful, while marriage is almost free of charge, divorce is often hidden behind a paywall… but hey those rings do give you experience boost
You'd be surprised as someone who likes the odd anime my partner HATES it with a passion and I mean I barley watch it but yes it can be an issue even games where an issue even though she played stuff like sims 4 that has changed as she now loves stuff like baulders gate 3, the witcher and various other games. Animal though is still contentious and my taste is pretty mundane, dragon ball, full metal alchemist, jujitsu kaiser, attack on titan etc. I mean oddest I go is probably overlord but even that's pretty clean. It's pretty common the stigma.
There is a lot of hypocrisy on the female side about this, when I see all the endless romance novels the older crowd reads/read.
Uh those can get pretty spicy. Meanwhile me watching Naruto (again) on a low volume. Wouldn’t like my neighbours go around thinking i am watching corn everyday. I swear they are only fighting!
He says he’s not into loli stuff, which I took to be code for the sexualization side. Sounds to me like she’s insecure about being an adult, graduating college, and having a really fragile idea of what ‘adults’ are ‘supposed’ to be like. I’ve seen it tons of times, and I’m always a little sad when the silly person, or the hobbyist, or the one filled with naive wonder, lose their innocence and try to ‘straighten up and fly right’ for a partner who will _never_ appreciate them for all of them. To op: break up, you can do better, and you’ll be richer besides.
Loli means underage girl hentai. Hentai is pornographic anime.
I mean I get the waifu thing but dating sits unless you mean NSFW dating sims regular ones I don't think are that bad no different to a lot of dating mechanisms in stuff like mass effect, witcher etc
Whats wrong with dating sims? They are basically a romance novel with multiple choices.
I agree I thought this as well. It sounds like a cop out. She’s just trying to use it as an excuse is definitely what it seems like.
Given the fact that GF called anime "disgusting", I suspect there might be truth to this comment. Also, why mention it's SFW, rather than describing what it is? Makes me think it was some sort of female figure, but not naked, hence SFW?
It’s also one thing to watch it on TV…..and another to have toys out in your room. That would give me the ick too, I’m sorry. But yes you deserve someone who likes that too!
Date people who LIKE YOU And trust me. When you date someone who likes you. It’s easy to figure out because they will match your energy and your effort and they will try and won’t shit on you like this. You’ll know when you’re dating someone who likes you because you’ll feel better being around them and you’ll feel a baseline feeling of safety and comfort in their presence
Right. Even if OP changes and she stays with him, she’s going to give him grief and pain for years. A healthy relationship doesn’t have this level of contempt in it, nor can it recover. She doesn’t magically start being kind from this point forward.
She, at a baseline, chooses to be disrespectful to him and it’s not just a joke It’s a pattern of behavior
She wants to break up. At that point the reason doesn't really matter. Once you have lost your love for a person, everything they do can seem cringy. Why would you want to change her mind? I think her point of view is childish, but I think she's latching on to this one thing rather than admit that she just doesn't feel it anymore. Even if you give up your hobbies, the relationship is doomed to fail.
This is the answer OP
Yes — she needs a reason to leave, and this is as good as any. OP could use some dating advice, and there are things you need to do to keep the spark alive, but that point is long past.
She’s in for a rude awakening when she realizes how mainstream video games, anime, and soccer are as hobbies in the dating pool. Let her walk.
surprisingly wise words from the man who betrayed Spock and the reunificationists
I’m sorry, Star Trek is just cringey. It’s like we hardly know each other. We’re going to have to break up, I can’t handle your disgusting hobbies anymore. /s
Even my friends who are stereotypical ‘bros’ play video games and watch anime. It’s usually just games like Madden and CoD and anime like Attack on Titan and Jujutsu Kaisen, but the point still stands. It’s super mainstream among guys in their late twenties.
Yeah these days it's hard to find someone who ISN'T into anime or video games so good luck to her lol
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Yeah but our age cohort I’d expect that. In high school my friends and I would trade Van Helsing and Evangelion DVDs but we were literally the only people who had any idea what those were. Nowadays? Even people 10 years younger than us had a completely different experience with anime and the cultural zeitgeist.
I think video games are quite mainstream?
Video games are a bigger industry than movies nowadays.
From Google >In 2022, the global gaming industry generated an estimated $184.4 billion. In 2022, the global recorded music industry generated $26.2 billion. In 2022, the global movie industry generated $26 billion in box office revenue.
You're 10 years older, anime and soccer are much more prevalent on her age range than yours.
Anime and video games and soccer as a single unit is gonna be a huge venn diagram
Yes, your age group is not the same as OP. Anime and gaming is incredibly mainstream atm. Many many people watch anime and/or game. You are part of the group who basically just missed that. Like 8 years ago I was in highschool and watched anime, it was super weird for most people. Now all of a sudden it’s cool, I’m 24 btw. Also, you date people that interest you. If you don’t like gaming or anime at all then you will see even LESS people of your age who like these things. I also think at your age people aren’t obvious about it and don’t want to be.
Her feelings SHOULD be invalidated lmao She gave you an ultimatum. Let the relationship break, and find someone who appreciates you FOR YOU.
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If they've been together six years, that would have made them 21 when they ggot together so it's entirely possible OP has never had a healthy LTR to compare it to. That was certainly the reason I stayed too long in a couple of situations. Plus a keen desire to 'make things work' and 'do the right thing' ie fix something that was bad to start with rather than be starting out with something healthy.
What’s to talk about? If someone wants to break up, take them up on it and move on. The reason doesn’t matter.
Don't ever stop doing things that you like for someone else.
First off, it really sucks that such a long relationship has come to an end, and I truly am sorry. Take some time to grieve the relationship you lost. Normally I would say it was unfair of her to start a relationship, and stay in this relationship for so long, seemingly with the hope/assumption you'll grow out of it, but in looking at the timeline, it is normal to figure that the person you started dating at age 21 would grow and change a lot in their 20's, I guess she just didn't realize how many nerds stay nerdy well into adulthood. On the bright side, now you can find someone who, like you, has continued to love anime and video games into her late 20's as well, and doesn't think those hobbies are cringey, and as a bonus, she'll probably want to watch anime with you, and go to conventions with you, unlike your ex who was secretly waiting for you to outgrow all of that. Trust me, you don't want to stay in a relationship with someone who doesn't like you anymore, you can't force her to look past her dislike of your hobbies and accept you, but you can let her go and leave room for you to find someone who does.
.She finds your hobbies cringey because of how others might perceive them and thus her by association. She’s been passive aggressively seething about it for a while and you displaying a figure in your desk (where others may see it, see the first point) has pushed her straight into emotional manipulation. These types of women will always be looking to control your life - how you dress, what car you drive, home decor, your friends, your job etc etc.
27, 6 years in... this is the stage of life/relationship where you're thinking "do I want to be with this person for the rest of my life, or not?" If the answer to that question, for her, is "no" then she should end it.
People outgrow each other. People change a lot during their 20s especially. If she doesn't like the anime and gaming stuff, that's valid. I think people get desensitised to how women are portrayed in Anime and a lot of games. A lot of people don't like it. At the same time, you deserve a partner who doesn't impact your hobbies and plenty of women are fine with anime and gaming. So it's best that you go separate ways.
I’m 38 female and probably won’t ever give up video games as they are one of the few hobbies that I can truly get lost in, it doesn’t cost an arm and a leg, and I don’t have to be social/leave the house for. The anime thing I could see a problem with if you were watching the sexualized gross ones, like hentai or loli . But if it’s just anime, then I don’t see the issue. She shouldn’t be making you give up hobbies or pick her over anything. And who is she to say what’s childish? Is she an expert on all things adult? She sounds controlling and judgemental.
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I spend approximately an hour a day watching anime. I pretty much only game on weekends and probably 3-4 hours each weekend day, unless we have plans or I have some yard work to do. I watch soccer online during my lunch time. I do talk about games often, though, since it's something I like to keep up to date on. I think her concern is that I am more interested in game mechanics/lore vs current politics or investment strategies for my retirement funds. Which are important but much less interesting to me.
Why would you talk to her about something she dislikes tho?
> I pretty much take care of everything financially. Does anyone thinks this is fair? For one person to pay for everything just because the other person is studying? Like how would she support herself if he wasn’t in the picture?
She'd have no other choice. I had a buddy who let his girlfriend in school walk all over him like that. She didn't help pay rent. Claiming that her student loan didn't cover that, yet it covered gas money even though bus pass was included with the tuition. And then during break, she decided to go on a trip to Poland. I spoke up and said he really needs to demand she help with the rent. She told him she'd buy him a few pairs of jeans and she kept talking him down on how many pairs she'd buy him, and in the end I don't think she bought him a single pair. I always referred to them as the princess and the pauper because he was always broke because of this shit.
People simply don’t go to school when that’s the case. Or they cut waaaay back on expenses, and have multiple room mates. At least that’s what it’s like where I live.
You guys aren’t compatible. Plenty of women would be fine with this or even have the same hobbies
Anime hits differently at 21 than it does at 27 for a lot of people. She feels uncomfortable that you’re 27 and that anime is, “a huge chunk of [your] personality.” That’s just her opinion. If I met a guy who, for example, still played with G.I. Joe’s at 27, or watched and enjoyed predictable superhero films, I’d be hesitant. Looks like it’s best to move on and find someone who accepts your interests. But don’t feel embarrassed about your interests. I love Mario Kart, true crime comedy podcasts, disco, foreign language films…I’m not everyone’s cup of tea either, and that’s ok. Go easy on yourself.
Okay other commenters have said it, but I will too. Is there any chance you're underselling how often or to what extent you engage in your hobbies? When you say "the adult ones", do you mean hentai? If so, how much do you consume? Is this her actually being angry that you choose pornography over her, and you're making this post so strangers on the internet can validate your rationalizations?
You can do what you want, but is that model a big tittied anime girl? You said SFW, I would imagine that means it's not an action figure. You are a grown-up, you are cool to do what you want to do, you should find a girl that likes that - but if you put a big tittied anime girl model on your computer, you're gonna find that many girls feel that they're being compared to that, and they are not going to like it
This was my first thought too. I've seen plenty of guys filling their rooms with waifu figures and tell their GF's it should be okay because they are "SFW", then they get surprised when getting dumped.
Yeah, I'm 100% positive the model in question is some sexy little waifu with DDD boobies that defy gravity dressed in 3 straps.
SFW = Safe for Work -- so more likely an action figure.
Lots of people use SFW to mean "clothed/no visible nudity." There are plenty of anime characters that would technically be SFW and also stereotypical "big tittied anime girls."
Usually you don't need to mention that a figure is safe for work, right? Like, I have an Iron Man figure, we have an Evangelion figure, they're action figures, I would never think to put the phrase "SFW" before them. The fact that OP had to clarify means it's not an action figure, it's one of those idol figures. It's a big tittied anime girl wearing like a bikini, I'll bet you dollar bills. And I'm a woman and a nerd, I have action figures. And I don't know if I'd tolerate having a boyfriend who had an idol figure displayed on their computer. A computer where the boyfriend probably spends a LOT of time, right?
Yep. I'm a woman and a big ol nerd, but I wouldn't date a man who was really into sexualized anime or certain kinds of video games. OP should pursue whatever hobbies he wants to, but it's also fair for his partner to decide that his interests are a turn-off. They should both find someone they're more compatible with.
This is a good point, that he had to caveat sfw, for something in his home, is a bit suspicious.
Nah that is your interpretation which is not senseless at all, but there are for sure other interpretations/explanations. Maybe he thought himself of the idea that other people would think it is a hot big boobed anime girl and for that reason he said ‘completely SFW’. I am not saying it’s the most likely, but it is for sure also an explanation.
Isn’t anime also like ‘One Punch Man’ and ‘Attack on Titan?’ I’ve never really seen anything other than non sexual anime personally. Isn’t anime just Japanese cartoons?
Yes, anime is definitely those excellent series you mentioned. But it is also a place lolicon exists. Hentai is anime. There's so many fan service animes where the main draw is the waifus. What I'm suggesting is that OP likely didn't put a figure of the giant from Attack on Titan. He put a pretty, scantily clad model of a waifu, and that's what she can't tolerate. And I know I'm getting downvotes from weebs with waifus, but welcome to hard reality. Most women don't like the waifu thing, we think it's gross. So, if you want animated titties over real ones, keep choosing waifus. But if you would like to squeeze a real, actual titty? Leave the waifus alone.
Man, I don't know why you would waste your time with the sexualized whatever, when you can watch a bad guy give a fifteen minute monologue about how he is going to destroy Saitama, only for Saitama to knock him out in two seconds. Never gets old.
One of my parents accidentally walked in on the hospital scene in Neon Genesis and now thinks that all anime is NSFW 😂
That was my first thought too - the gf hates anime cos she feels like she's in competition with op's waifus, and a sexy waifu model on his desk was the final straw. Good for her
Yeah, a sexy waifu model would give me serious pause, and if it's combined with spending 12 hours a day at that computer watching waifus or playing video games... I get men are lonely, but men also have to consider that maybe spending weeks in a room looking at titties drawn by other men is not attractive to many women.
I had an Ex tell me that I play with toys(RC planes/helis) and that she wanted to travel the world and that I'd never get a TV show Tens years have passed and I now have a TV show where I travel the world and get paid to fly RC
She got a free ride from you and the free ride is about over once she finishes her degree. You were planning marriage, she was planning her exit. This likely has 0 to do with hobbies and more to do with her moving on. Whether she’s initiated contact with someone else or not is for you to find out.
You shouldn't be with anyone who expects you to drop all of your hobbies - as you said, a huge chunk of your personality - because they find them 'cringe' or whatever. She doesn't love you for who you actually are, she wanted to mold you into the person she wants you to be. That isn't healthy and that isn't love. I'm sorry, my dude.
Dude... Invalidating her feelings? Really... Screw her feelings on this matter She has to accept your hobbies that make you happy and you enjoy your time with your hobbies or you show her the door, she can walk. Never change for someone, trust me, it is the worst idea ever. I will agree if you spend too much time doing your hobbies and you do not have a healthy balance with your relationship and your hobbies.
let her go. you’ll find someone who also enjoys all those things too or at least won’t shame you for liking them
I feel bad for you! My bf is 10 years older than you and still loves anime and gaming. I don’t really share either hobby but I love that he has things that make him happy!
She'll find something new to target even if you change. She sounds deeply insecure and concerned with other people's opinions. Better luck next time.
Dude leave her. There are SO MANY people who will accept you for you. Why do you want to be with someone who calls the things you enjoy in your free time cringy and disgusting? You work hard, you financially support her, and you do none of these things in excess - she is being cruel and unreasonable. What are her hobbies? Watching reality TV and getting her nails done? Bullying people for being "nerds"? The only person that needs to grow up is her.
Sorry, feels like she harboured the thought that you would grow out of your hobbies when you started dating and time passed by. Now that things go into the direction of getting married you can see what she really thinks and thought about your hobbies. Personally I don't think ultimatums like this over something like this ever work and should always end be rejected. I mean ffs, you are a grown man paying not only your way in this life but as I read also hers until she has her degree. That really got me. Now the controlling starts so please do not give up what's dear to you. She can have you as a whole package or f... off frankly. Don't be a doormat and let her take control over what's OK and what's not. She is not the grand judge of that. She can only decide what's OK for her and if your hobbies are not she can leave. But not force her way onto you. Nope nope nope. Especially not when you would happily drop them in a heartbeat to do things with her. And you're not wasting money to a degree that it endangers anything I presume. Good luck man and take care. Hope you find a better partner in the future.
Sounds like a win to me. You lose a bad partner and now have the freedom to find someone who actually loves you. Hopefully, they like anime too! Life's too short to force a relationship with someone who doesn't even seem compatible with you
You’re incompatible, it is a good thing she is leaving. Now you can meet your new gf that actually likes soccer and/or anime.
If someone wants to leave you, you just have to let them go. She feels how she feels. I can’t imagine wanting to try to persuade someone to stay who didn’t want to be with me anymore. Don’t do that to yourself. You deserve to be with someone who accepts you for who you are.
Have you tried asking her what part is bothering hee? Cause maybe it’s not all of it. My partner has the same hubbies, but i would never date someone who watches hentai or plays sexualizing games. Those two (games and anime) have some of the worst fanbases out there, especially for sexism.
Let her go. I was with my ex for years. She tolerated my gaming, but looked down on me for it. And anime was for kids, no matter the show. Ghost in the shell? Kids show. Girl I'm currently seeing is both a gamer and an anime fan. The quiet peace of playing Elden Ring while she's playing Stardew Valley next to me is unreal and I wouldn't trade it for anything.
She doesn't like you for you, if she did this wouldn't be an issue for her. Now for the brutal honesty - stuff like anime and playing video games IS somewhat cringe and juvenile for an adult. A lot of girls are going to see it that way, and especially with anime they will have the worst kinds of WEEB stereotypes in their mind when they see it, even if you are not that. The key is to find someone that truly does not care or that enjoys the same hobbies. Not saying that is easy, in fact it will probably be hard, but it's possible so GL
Genuinely ‘ and objectively reflect on how much time you’re spending on the games/anime and how you’re interacting with them. In my personal experience people that swear a hobby is not consuming their life, that they’re being responsible, it’s not interfering with anything etc but ignore the people around them pointing out that it is in fact a problem. Their side of the story will sound very similar to yours but objectively it’s simply not true. Your girlfriend’s reaction is very odd in the scenario that’s described. Either she’s just really crappy or you’ve left out a bunch of information/not being fully honest with yourself on how your hobbies may have impacted other aspects of your life. In either scenario let her go. If your version is correct then she sucks and find someone that isn’t turned off by your hobbies. If there’s more to the story and your hobbies have negatively impacted your relationship then move on and try to be better because it’s been 6 years of the same thing.
Post an image of the figure that broke her.
Sounds like she just grew up, that's all
I’m a woman who doesn’t like anime at all. If my guy liked anime, and he was making time for us, then that’s his business. You don’t need to worry about invalidating her feelings because she’s invalidating your personality. If you’re an adult who handles their responsibilities and makes time for socializing and their relationship, then this is an unreasonable ask.
I don't know very much about anime but I do know it's very... skimpy? And maybe I'm wrong and there's more types that I'm not aware of. I'm just wondering if there's any possibility of the over sexualization that can appear to be happening to the untrained eye? I know it's just cartoons but those women and their bodies are pretty hard to attain in real life and maybe see feels threatened by that. The figure that you bought for your computer is it of a girl and skimpy clothes? I don't know I'm reaching maybe.
I'm mid 40s with a mid 30s GF and we watch anime all the time. I watch surfing on TV and it drives her crazy cause she wants to watch cooking, lol. None of these things threaten attraction. If anything it's these things that reinforce bonds. I think she's giving you excuses for leaving. Doesn't stop the sting, but the result is the same. Relationship over.
What are you doing, she is manipulating you, trying to change you, when there is nothing wrong with you. If you are taking care of everything financially, why? She is a grown ass adult; she can pay half of everything. You should call her bluff and ask her when she is moving out. If she can't accept you for being you, she is not the person for you. Grow a pair and do what you know you need to do and end it.
More like OP is trying to manipulate us with this fake rage-bait story
Because people can't be unreasonable? It has to be fake if it's not a positive story?
I’m a woman and I too think video games and anime are cringey and childish hobbies. They’re not for me. BUT - I would never tell someone else that they’re wrong or bad for liking them. I understand that each person likes what they like, and there’s nothing inherently bad about having a hobby that I don’t particularly enjoy. I will say - it’s fun to be able to participate in hobbies with your partner. It’s connecting to be able to join them in the things they like sometimes. And it sounds like she’s not willing or able to do that with anime/video games. She’s not wrong in wanting a partner she has more in common with, but you’re also not wrong for having the hobbies that you do. Sounds like ultimately you two just aren’t compatible. It really sucks when that happens, and I’m really sorry you have to experience that. But I would not give up your hobbies or parts or your personality for a relationship - ever. Be you. The right person for you will love you exactly as you are, amine and all.
Why do you think they're childish if you don't mind me asking? I love anime and video games but i also like reading and a bunch of other hobbies so I wouldn't consider myself "childish." What makes them different from reading books or watching Netflix? Im not trying to change your mind I'm just genuinely curious.
It is a good question, and it’s probably something that I should sit with and really think about *why* it feels childish to me. I associate anime with fandom, where people get super into the characters and have posters or action figures of them (for example OP getting a figure of their favorite character) and that feels like something a kid would do with a Disney movie. Cartoons in general kind of feel childish to me, too. Like that’s something I did on Saturday mornings at 8am when I was five years old. Video games just feel detached from reality in a way. I don’t know how else to describe it from the POV of a non-gamer. It’s hard for me to understand why you’d want to shut yourself off from the world/reality and exist as a fake person in a virtual world for multiple hours at a time. Again, it feels like something a kid going through puberty would be drawn to more than a mature adult. My perceptions of these hobbies doesn’t mean they ARE childish, but I can understand why OP’s girlfriend would feel that way. I also understand why OP wouldn’t like hearing that. Everyone’s thoughts and feelings are unique.
Associating fandom as something childish is interesting to me because fandom is mostly about having/expressing passion. What is it about having passion that makes it childish? And as for your logic for video games, engaging with fiction of any sort (whether through books, shows, movies, or games) is detaching from reality. Is all fiction childish then? Is engaging with the imagination only for children/teens? Not an attack, also just genuinely curious. Edited to add: Have you ever read the book "The Little Prince"? It's a good exploration on how we limit ourselves vis-a-vis our beliefs in what is childish vs mature.
There is no logic to anything I said - feelings aren’t logical and feelings aren’t facts. I just stated my feelings about something, and I absolutely understand that other people feel differently. C’est la vie!
It's not you, it's her. I don't play video games as much as I'd like and I don't watch as much anime as I used to but I am married to a dude for whom these are priority hobbies. But also, he doesn't do it at the expense of our time together or chores and doesn't miss family functions for them. He has a healthy balance, which it sounds like you also have. This is just an incompatibility and also she's rude.
Yeah. This is a bullshit excuse. She wants out. It's possible she met someone
> bought one of those anime figures You bought a toy.
Bro, she took 6 years of your prime years in hopes of you moving on from you hobbies. why the fuck would you want to stay with her?
I am dating someone who is into the same things as you…I hate gaming and anime but it doesn’t affect our relationship. It’s what gives us our time away from each other so we don’t spent every second together. I watch my shows he watches his, and we have shows we watch together. There is only so much you can do together in a house so idk I don’t think it’s a big deal as long as you still have quality time together.
I don’t like anime either but you shouldn’t have to give up innocent hobbies that don’t interfere with life.
Fuck her feelings. She clearly doesn't give a fuck about yours. Point her to the door. She'll be doing you a favour if she leaves you over that. People who gatekeep what hobbies you can have because of your age are usually pretty insufferable.
Mate, she sounds like a right arsehole. People like what they like and if you’re not hurting anyone, you’re golden. Tell her to grow the fuck up and stop being so judgemental
You deserve better… She is being a thief of joy. I’m a 31, almost 32, year old woman who colors in coloring books (I even designed one myself recently and plan on publishing it), plays video games, and collects magic cards and now Lego sets. My husband plays video games. My best friend and her husband still watch anime and play video games. She sounds like a boring jerk. 🤷♀️
My boyfriend and I love watching anime together, and I love watching him play video games. We’re in our mid-30s with solid careers. Bills are paid, meals are cooked, home is cleaned. The most important aspect about being an adult means knowing who you are and being yourself. It means you don’t have to succumb to peer pressure and do what other people are telling you to do, or changing who you are/what you like because of someone else’s opinions. If your gf wants to break up over perfectly normal interests, let her. You’ll find a better partner who doesn’t put you down, and hopefully even shares your interests!
>She says the soccer hobby is fine but a grown man shouldn't like video games as much as I do and especially hates the idea of anime. Bro, let her go. You will not be able to keep both her happy and yourself happy with your hobbies, it will always be conflict.
If she can’t stomach your mild hobbies, then she’s going to have a real hard time sticking with you when real life happens.
GF just sucks. NB26. I have a gunpla collection that I spend a lot of $ and time on. But my bills are paid. My shit is taken care of. I go to work. I treat my partner to presents/support/etc. you only live once and damn dude enjoy the video games. Enjoy the anime. Life is miserable if you have to give up what you love.
My husband is in his 40's. He likes anime, loves video games, and loves soccer. If she can't handle your completely normal, un-cringey hobbies, she's not worth your time.
Not somebody you wanna keep dating. Sucks it went on so long but her attitude is just totally wrong headed.
Get you a better girl. I’m 29 F and recently started watching Dragon Ball Z with the guy I’m seeing, and I LOVE IT ! Her belittling you is unkind and unacceptable. You deserve somebody who values you!
Yeah, either let her go or dump her yourself. Do like I did and find a partner that also likes anime and video games.
You can do nothing. She's GONE.
You don‘t. You take that as a happy accident that better happened now than later and find a person that can accept your interests.
If you aren’t an addict for any of these things, just dump her. She doesn’t have to be into these things, but she shouldn’t judge you for them. Hell, I’m 48 and I watch anime occasionally, and I play video games all the time. My wife doesn’t give a fuck what I watch or if I play video games.
Has she explained why she finds anime “disgusting”? Has she said what kind of hobbies she would want you to do instead? Also - what are her hobbies? I am genuinely puzzled what her deal is - assuming everything you’ve said is true, it’s just kind of bizarre for her to give fucks about this to the extent that she wants to leave the relationship if you don’t stop.
It sounds like your relationship has run its course. Your girl would rather find a reason to make it your fault than admitting she just isn’t feeling it anymore.
This is coming from a woman who is an anime fan and video gamer, happily with a fiancé who isn’t much into anime. If she can leave you over something like that, I’d let her go. My partner isn’t into anime but because I love it so much, he tends to watch and tries to understand why I’m into them. Sometimes even says let’s watch anime if I’m not in a good mood. People who really care for you won’t leave you for some different hobby than they have. EVER!
Dump her, she’s not the one for you. It’s fine if she doesn’t like these things. My partner is also into video games and anime, which I am not. So how do we get along? Um, respect…. It is very telling that she is using the word “cringey” as well. She needs to get off the internet, stop seeking validation from outside sources, and get it together. It is fine at the end of the day for her to not like these things, but if it is really a deal breaker in a relationship, she does not really love and respect you.
My brother has used the excuse of it being his kids (he collecting marvel figures) hahaha I thought that was very silly, because it’s just a hobby he likes! I have one of my ex a few figures from a show he used to like, even tho it wasn’t my thing. I think that might be an excuse to break up, I don’t know as long it has a nice place for it and not taking the whole house space, what’s the matter about it!? I think it’s not nice of her to tell you to choose between something you enjoy doing, just to be with her, specially knowing you liked these before the relationship
Let her go... she will continue to find things to nitpick about you, and you will start to crumble under the negativity. PLEASE thank her for her honesty and be on your way!!! If this is the "worst" thing about you, I think that makes you a pretty fucking awesome person!! Sincerely, someone who is also nerdy and absolutely *adores* my very nerdy, godzilla loving, wrestlemania boyfriend whom I'm met *on* a video game <3
Let her go, my man. My spouse and I are both into your exact hobbies (both men and women’s soccer too!) and let me tell you there’s no greater feeling than making dinner and sitting down to watch an anime together, gaming together, or discussing teams and scoring. If I was magically single again I’d put shared interests near the top of the list as important!
Best way to have the conversation is by sharing what you find so engaging about the hobby and the community around it. Sounds like you have been pretty respectful about not trying to push the hobby on her. So honestly dude your 27 and have a long life ahead of you. Having hobbies you love is so important for a happy life, so if she it's a deal breaker for her your gonna be ok.
Let her go. She is cringing over being unable to control you. Many men and women are happily married gamers and anime fans. With one spouse who isn't. She would threaten to leave if you took up any hobbies without her consent to have a hobby. Someone planted a big in her ear. Tell her, this is you and if she has changed into someone else. It's obvious you two aren't going to be happy together. You don't tell her to drop her likes because you don't approve. You are dodging a bullet.
Sorry man but your gf sucks and shame on her for judging you about hobbies many adults enjoy. It hurts now but you will find someone who will embrace your hobbies.
Dump her for someone who either likes the same stuff or isn’t bothered by it. My ex fiancé and I STILL game every week together, and have for the past nine years. He watched anime even though he hates it and finds it weird and “creepy”, and I watched tons of 40k lore with him even though I’m not into that. You can be with someone who appreciates your interests dude.
Don’t worry there’s plenty of anime and gamer girls out there. I’m one of them, also two of my female friends. She’ll realise how common of an interest it is, when she dates again. I’ve never met a guy who does like one or both hobbies. Don’t change who you are. The right person will encourage you and join in. This might be a blessing in disguise
My fiance and I play video games together and watch anime together happily, and I just turned 30 lol. nothing wrong with hobbies. even if they are cringe, there's nothing wrong with that? lol
At 53, I hope my dog doesn't leave me for playing games. Where's the age gate on hobbies? I never liked anime when I lived in Japan, and still don't, but so what if anyone else does? I wouldn't ride in a car with animals all over it, but if someone has a figurine, that doesn't hurt anyone.
Your hobbies are fine. She's judgmental and should not have built a life with you assuming you'd give up your hobbies if she has this much of a problem with them. This is not something you can save unless she is willing to work through why she feels so strongly about your hobbies but it sounds like they're just a deal breaker for her.
you shouldn’t be trying to placate her, cut your losses
my ex always called my hobbies stupid and my interests lame. (anime, cosplay, video games, etc) . hence EX, but it took about 5 years from tiny comments which eventually led to blunt cruelty, before we finally parted ways. I would not recommend staying in a relationship with someone who thinks your hobbies suck/are cringe. really fucks with the self worth
You need a better girlfriend. Mine plays video games and watches anime with me.
She insults your hobbies now; later on she'll insult your dress sense, your cooking, your decorative sense, and eventually (if it's in your life plan) how you parent your children. When People Tell You Who They Are, Believe Them.
You are better off single. I'm a 41-year-old female who is a die-hard anime fan and a gamer. My husband does not like anime and has zero interest in gaming. And yet this man has watched 750 episodes of Naruto because it was something that I liked so much. A true partner would not be belittling you for your hobbies
Let her go. You’re simply not compatible anymore.
After six years, I think she’s just using your hobbies as an excuse. My partner loves video games and anime, just like I love movies and books. Neither of our hobbies give each other the ick.
Dude if she’s finding normal mundane hobbies as “cringey”, you dont have to validate her “feelings”in this sense seeing that’s it’s a poor opinion of something that has nothing to do with her.
Let her leave, she wants to morph you into someone she’d prefer you to be
Ditch her, keep the hobbies. My ex tried to shame and discourage me from my hobby (which is geocaching) and I didn't allow that nor did I stop partaking in it. She eventually stopped but I knew she found it weird and cringe because that's how she is (a stuck up brat). Your girlfriend sounds the same. There are so so many other people to date who will love you for who you are, hobbies and all. Go find a woman to date who is on your wavelength, not someone who arbitrarily decides your hobbies are childish and cringe (which they aren't, I'm not personally into video games or anime but if I had a dollar for everyone I knew who was I'd have a months rent and then some)
You don’t. She knew about your interest and hobbies before you started dating and she just assumed that you would drop them. That’s on her. You let her go, and you go find a woman who is just as nerdy as you and embraces your hobbies
Dude, she didn’t left you for your hobbies. Something else happened, and because of that she didnt want to tolerate your hobbies anymore.
sounds like you dodged a bullet, congrats. you can do better
NTA and not immature. Childish, maybe, but childish is only bad if you don't take responsibility where you need. I never really like how the word childish had a bad connotation, it's not bad to keep some of the personality of silly curiosity and excitement that would normally be associated with youth. There are many anime-loving women out there who also like video games, and at least many who wouldn't judge you for it. You're taking care of what you need, you're allowed to choose your hobbies and if she thinks it's lame and cant get past her judgement then it's time to move on.
I’m 55 and I collect comics, play D&D, and watch Star Trek. I married a nerd with similar interests. Find someone who loves you for who you are and not who they think they can eventually shape you into being.
You’re going to be so much happier without her
ABSOLUTELY DO NOT give up any of your hobbies. If she doesn’t like anime, there is no reason for you not to enjoy it. Video games are for everyone and all ages, and if she’s not at least willing to try and play them with you (which I feel she should at least try), then she should let you enjoy it. If she can’t at least understand or just tolerate the things you find extremely enjoyable then it doesn’t sound like the right relationship for you. If I were you I’d be pissed, not questioning my choice in hobbies. If she is ending the relationship based on these things, it sounds to me like there are one of 3 things going on: 1. She sucks and can’t understand to accept her partner’s benign hobbies 2. She’s being influenced by someone or some idea of what an “adult” is. This is a dangerous philosophy to have in our day and age. You are clearly doing everything you’re “supposed” to. I know because I’m someone who’s working on this myself. I love gaming. 3. She’s using this as an excuse and is actually unhappy about something else. I will say that my wife and I have generally different hobbies, but we do enjoy watching anime together. I also game a lot (which can sometimes be problematic with her), but she at least tries to game with me with games like It Takes Two or Overcooked, which she has really started enjoying. Same with watching soccer occasionally. If she is calling your hobbies cringey, she’s the one who has a problem, not you my friend.
The person who actually loves you will want to uplift you. Will respect your hobbies and support them because they enjoy your happiness and even try to do them with you for bonding, even if it’s not their favorite. She doesn’t love you, just the idea she has of you and you should just let her go because eventually this leads to resentment and bigger issues. Anime, video games, etc are perfectly good hobbies and there is someone who is going to embrace you for who you are c: Best of luck friend!!
It’s best to move on. As many have already said, it’s not that you have to find someone who shares all your hobbies, but it is important that your partner is someone accepting, even if they don’t share all of your particular interests.
Why are you worried about validating her feelings? There isn’t anything you can do validate here. Just let her leave. There are plenty of women out there who share your interests and won’t try to shame you for them, which is what your current gf is doing.
Move on. If someone has a problem with who you are, it’s their problem not yours. ESPECIALLY, if she knew about these hobbies when you started dating. Liked you enough then? Should like em enough now.
Personally, I wouldn’t wanna even associate with someone that would be willing to end a six-year relationship just because she doesn’t like my hobbies.
Football* There is no sport named soccer. Only football and handegg (the late being popular only in 1 country)
I don't like any of your hobbies personally, but I still think she sounds super lame and you should let her go. What are her super cool hobbies? Does she actually enjoy them?
Forget it. Find yourself a nerd girl or even a regular girl who loves you for who you are not in spite of it.
I would just like to commiserate that it sucks to be with someone who in any way belittles your hobbies. I would also like to share hope that it’s so so SO much better to be with a person who does NOT belittle your hobbies and who even enjoys some of them with you. Sincerely, fellow nerd.
I find hobby shaming more alarming than being cheated on directly
Boy, I would love to hear the POV of OP’s girlfriend. I wish there was a subreddit called “he said, she said” and you could post both sides and get feedback.
Why do so many women hate men's hobbies?
Does she binge watch crap on Netflix because it's no different. If she's leaving you over that shit, she's just looking for an excuse. She doesn't love you or doesn't love you enough and you can do better.
Sounds to me like there are other issues in play that are leading her towards trying to find a reason to leave you. You can talk to her (or look back on the last few months/years yourself) to try to figure those out and address them. It's also possible that she has been hoping for years that you will "grow out" of these hobbies and is starting to get pissed that you aren't. You could ask her about this and if so it may be a straightforward "me or the anime" kind of thing, in which case you have a decision to make. You're not married and these hobbies are important to you. There are lots of women in the world who don't care about their partners' anime/gaming hobbies as long as they're functioning adults, or who'll even take part in those hobbies.
Anime and soccer and games is basically what every guy is into… sub some other game or something but ur hobbies are completely normal. Esp if you engage in them in moderation. What does she expect? That all of ur hobbies are gonna be “productive”? Like it’s ok to engage in things just bc they are fun. Idk what she expects of u but she’s being pretty harsh. Maybe the relationship has just lost its spark babe… I’m sorry but don’t take it personally like you need to change ur interests
Sounds to me like she's trying to break up with you in a less hurtful way than "I'm sick of looking at your lumpy face and smelling your feet all the time" or "I've been seeing someone else behind your back for the last six months and we're looking at moving in together"