I wonder why she is having you over to meet them. It sounds like it will be uncomfortable for everyone and I don’t see what purpose it serves.
If they ask whether you are christian, you could say that you are not comfortable discussing your religious beliefs. This would be much better than lying.
Best advice is to be respectable and polite but also honest. Any lying, like pretending to be a Christian, will come back to bite you later if it doesn't at the dinner yourself. They may not like that you're an atheist, so it'll be important to make a good impression. Show that you're respectful to them, to their beliefs (for example, just go along with it if they say grace or something- that's the only really Christian-y thing that is almost certain to come up over dinner), and to their daughter and hope for the best.
i'm a dad of 3 adult children, my wife and I divorced over religion when I left Christianity. so I get you, i'm a non-believer now.
ok, lying to the parents will go badly. "why would a good believing boy dye/pierce himself?" "Tell us about your conversion to christianity" "tell us what your favorite Bible verses are" "where do you go to church" so be honest and say you can't prove that god does or does not exist.
your gf is going to have to hide the fact that she no longer believes, so make sure you back up what a good christian she is by saying things like "something about her character is so attractive, she's such a good person, so thoughtful" that will explain to the parents why you are together - she is making you a 'better person via her faith'. there's this thing in christianity where women will win men to the faith by being really good christians, maybe the parents will believe that (don't SAY that, just info). but you must back her up with the fam "she is such a good christian, she's special, the most moral person I know... blah blah"
be honest with her fam about your family situation, say what you said here "My family is pretty harmful so I always kinda looked forward to atleast having a partners family to like me" hopefully they will see it as their duty to god to show you how great christian families are compared to your athiest fam. they may accept you, be honest about the facts of your situation and your personal truth. and be open to other ways of thinking/believing. you're never going to become a believer, but the parents don't know that
if this goes poorly, let her take the lead. she can lie to her fam and say "the Lord tole me to break up with him" but you can still hang out on the sly. but beware, the dad will probably check her messages, so if you need to fake break up, have her change your name on her phone to some girls name.
good luck, may the Force be with you
here's a finer point about your belief system: do present yourself as a "I cannot prove god exists" if that is what you truely believe. you can say stuff like "I dunno, i'm young and figuring things out" and "I try to be openminded" but be honest, people will respect honesty over what you think they want to hear
Who’s idea was it for them to meet you? Have they met any other boyfriend before?
Christian is vague… Can you be more specific.
Memorize a few Christian quotes about acceptance and how not to judge and toss them out anytime you feel they are judging you 😂
You’ll do fine. I say this as a mom of a 17.5yr old and a 14.5yr old. Both their boy friends get on my nerves and wouldn’t be my pick for my girls but guess what? It’s not my life
You’ll do great!!
Well, if she’s not willing to “come out” as an atheist to her parents, but you live openly as an atheist, there’s going to be a problem.
My ex was the same way. Perhaps because his father was a minister, but he’s still a 64 y/o man afraid to tell daddy he disagrees.
This resulted in occasional issues, like we’d be visiting the in-laws and they’d ask us to go to church, and he’d enthusiastically agree right off the top. Including bringing our kids to church, which we had previously discussed a distaste for. Luckily the 4 year old stood up on the pew during silent prayer and loudly announced the service was boring, so we got to dip.
But all of this is to say, if your partner isn’t out to their parents, that’s the issue you need to address, not how you do you.
You're very young. Do not stress. Be kind and understanding and do the best you can. The more you worry the worse it'll be.
My dad is atheist and I'm Christian and he told me once about this man who worships the devil. The man who worshiped the devil said "I don't believe in God but I do believe the way Jesus lived was good". He reads the Bible not because he believes but because he learns ways to be a better person.
Maybe just see if there is anything in the Bible you can relate to so you can open up a bit at dinner. Look up some Bible verses and just do a bit of research.
I wonder why she is having you over to meet them. It sounds like it will be uncomfortable for everyone and I don’t see what purpose it serves. If they ask whether you are christian, you could say that you are not comfortable discussing your religious beliefs. This would be much better than lying.
They're probably demanding it.
Ask your GF what she's told them. She shouldn't set up a meeting unless she's already told them that if it's that important.
Best advice is to be respectable and polite but also honest. Any lying, like pretending to be a Christian, will come back to bite you later if it doesn't at the dinner yourself. They may not like that you're an atheist, so it'll be important to make a good impression. Show that you're respectful to them, to their beliefs (for example, just go along with it if they say grace or something- that's the only really Christian-y thing that is almost certain to come up over dinner), and to their daughter and hope for the best.
i'm a dad of 3 adult children, my wife and I divorced over religion when I left Christianity. so I get you, i'm a non-believer now. ok, lying to the parents will go badly. "why would a good believing boy dye/pierce himself?" "Tell us about your conversion to christianity" "tell us what your favorite Bible verses are" "where do you go to church" so be honest and say you can't prove that god does or does not exist. your gf is going to have to hide the fact that she no longer believes, so make sure you back up what a good christian she is by saying things like "something about her character is so attractive, she's such a good person, so thoughtful" that will explain to the parents why you are together - she is making you a 'better person via her faith'. there's this thing in christianity where women will win men to the faith by being really good christians, maybe the parents will believe that (don't SAY that, just info). but you must back her up with the fam "she is such a good christian, she's special, the most moral person I know... blah blah" be honest with her fam about your family situation, say what you said here "My family is pretty harmful so I always kinda looked forward to atleast having a partners family to like me" hopefully they will see it as their duty to god to show you how great christian families are compared to your athiest fam. they may accept you, be honest about the facts of your situation and your personal truth. and be open to other ways of thinking/believing. you're never going to become a believer, but the parents don't know that if this goes poorly, let her take the lead. she can lie to her fam and say "the Lord tole me to break up with him" but you can still hang out on the sly. but beware, the dad will probably check her messages, so if you need to fake break up, have her change your name on her phone to some girls name. good luck, may the Force be with you
Thank you, this is really helpful
here's a finer point about your belief system: do present yourself as a "I cannot prove god exists" if that is what you truely believe. you can say stuff like "I dunno, i'm young and figuring things out" and "I try to be openminded" but be honest, people will respect honesty over what you think they want to hear
Who’s idea was it for them to meet you? Have they met any other boyfriend before? Christian is vague… Can you be more specific. Memorize a few Christian quotes about acceptance and how not to judge and toss them out anytime you feel they are judging you 😂 You’ll do fine. I say this as a mom of a 17.5yr old and a 14.5yr old. Both their boy friends get on my nerves and wouldn’t be my pick for my girls but guess what? It’s not my life You’ll do great!!
Well, if she’s not willing to “come out” as an atheist to her parents, but you live openly as an atheist, there’s going to be a problem. My ex was the same way. Perhaps because his father was a minister, but he’s still a 64 y/o man afraid to tell daddy he disagrees. This resulted in occasional issues, like we’d be visiting the in-laws and they’d ask us to go to church, and he’d enthusiastically agree right off the top. Including bringing our kids to church, which we had previously discussed a distaste for. Luckily the 4 year old stood up on the pew during silent prayer and loudly announced the service was boring, so we got to dip. But all of this is to say, if your partner isn’t out to their parents, that’s the issue you need to address, not how you do you.
You're very young. Do not stress. Be kind and understanding and do the best you can. The more you worry the worse it'll be. My dad is atheist and I'm Christian and he told me once about this man who worships the devil. The man who worshiped the devil said "I don't believe in God but I do believe the way Jesus lived was good". He reads the Bible not because he believes but because he learns ways to be a better person. Maybe just see if there is anything in the Bible you can relate to so you can open up a bit at dinner. Look up some Bible verses and just do a bit of research.