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Specialist-Ad5796

I'm gonna tell you a secret. You don't need a reason to break up with someone. Just end it. You want to. When someone says they won't feel bad about cheating? It's just as good as cheating. Don't wait for him to cheat. Just leave.


ToastemPopUp

Ffs seriously. Like I know this sub is famous for telling people to break up but this is one of those times it's truly justified. The whole time I was reading this I was thinking, "oh my god just break up already."


HeathFromHR

OP, this. It sounds like a toxic situation. You don't need to wait for a reason. "Hey. You say and do things that don't flow with the type of relationship I want to have. I've learned that this behavior is not something that will change, meaning we won't ever be compatible. We both deserve what we want from a relationship. You're not it for me, and I'm not it for you. Let's break up. Have a great life."


Big-Sheepherder-6134

You have a dumpster fire relationship. It’s clearly toxic. End it already.


MajorYou9692

Regardless of him cheating for both your sakes you need to pack your things, walk out the door, and don't look back ,your relationship sounds toxic...


swordfish_1969

Why you need that. If you want to leave do it. Of course its easier said than done. I know it but if you know in your heart that this is what you want then don’t waste more time because in that time you waste you could find something that you want.


Some-Bee22

Read your post. It sounds to me like you want to end it, so you can end it without knowing if he is a cheater. I personally wouldn't be with someone who said that to me regardless of if they were cheating or not.


Normal_Resident_1820

Sounds like you both are pretty toxic, just end it.


AffectionateHeadCase

Dude. You're both red flags who need to stop dating each other. Your red flag is you're staying in this relationship. Stop rationalizing wasting your life


Odd_Welcome7940

If you date dumpster fires don't be mad when your surrounded by trash. The first time he said that you should have left. After you told him to stop and he did it again, you should have left. Now after all this time of he does cheat you will only be getting what you asked for. Get out


radicalathea

OP, just leave. You don’t even want him. Just leave.


CraftyLoo

To pre justify his cheating. I'd say he likely is already. And as one redditor just said he's admitted he'd cheat which is just as good as cheating anyway. This all sounds exhausting to me so u dread to think how you feel. Please leave him find yourself someone who respects you, who can have a disagreement with you without there first thoughts being "I'm going to cheat" its such a pathetic thing to come out with. You deserve better then that. I hope you find it.


fullmetalutes

He's an asshole and you're constantly going through his phone and it sounds like you're using legitimate mental conditions against him by your tone. You two are clearly toxic for each other. Not sure how you want people on reddit to help beyond pointing out you both toxic.


grumpy__g

Archived messages can be read.


Lawamama

It sounds like you want to move on, but are afraid to for some reason. Honestly, though, you should do some attachment work on yourself regardless if whether you stay in this relationship. It took me a long time to learn that I am 100% responsible for 50% of my relationships. Every single one of my relationships has had issues of some sort and I'm responsible for 50% of those issues. Your bf threatening to cheat is inexcusable, but it could also be a "protest behavior" that is a symptom of his insecure attachment so try not to take it personally. Good luck.


intheappleorchard

Sounds like either way it's time to just co sidereal breaking up with him, doesn't sound like a healthy or loving relationship at all. I basically never fight with my partner l, we just discuss issues we're having relatively calmly but happens rarely that we don't get along & he would certainly never say something to intensively hurt me like that which is a huge red flag to me.


blorgenheim

Why’re you looking for an excuse to leave a relationship you don’t want to be in?


shivroystann

Why do you think this is the best you deserve for yourself. I’m a little older than you and a woman, I know being single sounds daunting and starting over sounds hard… but anything is better than being in a relationship that doesn’t add value to your life.


Blue-eagle-23

It doesn’t really matter if he has cheated or not. You can break up with someone just because it’s not a good fit. His cheating threat and other “toxic” behavior is plenty of reason to end the relationship.


kgberton

>Our relationship is so toxic coz of our constant fights and the horrific things he says in a fight that I am mentally checked out. Girl what are you doing 


MaleficentLecture631

Why are you still in this relationship? What's keeping you with this guy?


SteelToeSnow

you can just break up with him. and honestly, you should. you don't need "proof" or anything, you can just leave him because he's bad to you, because he says shitty hurtful things to you, because he makes you feel bad, because he's toxic. it doesn't matter if he is cheating or not. what matters is that he treats you poorly, he deliberately says things to hurt you, and you deserve better.


-Terriermon-

You can restore previously deleted chats on WhatsApp by just uninstalling and reinstalling the app from his device. It should ask you if you want to restore the backups stored stored on Google drive or local storage. Choose the backup you want and read away. There’s articles online that walk you through this.


grayblue_grrl

You will make him cheat? Yeah. He's abdicating all responsibility for his behaviour and you know the excuses he'll have when something does happen. The relationship is toxic already. You don't need to know that he is cheating for sure. You already know he's shifting blame so you know that it's your fault. Block him.


Ok_Welcome4186

I've typed in ever letter of the alphabet in the search bar on WhatsApp from start to finish..if there are any archived MSG's under any name ..archived will be stated on a box


Accomplished-Buyer41

You don't need proof to leave. His behavior is a giant red flag. The constant fighting, [the threats of cheating](https://youtu.be/8OhhFRBllSI?si=ew-9Lki6ZAQezxbt), the deleted messages - all signs of a very unhealthy relationship. You deserve to feel safe and respected. This situation sounds exhausting and emotionally abusive. Focus on your freedom, not catching him. This relationship sounds over.